Ace of Spades HQ

April 03, 2011

Japan: "Where are our robots designed to deal with nuclear disasters?"
— rdbrewer

Hot Air linked an article in the Washington Post that points out the west has robots designed to deal with nuclear accidents awaiting duty as Japan asks, "Where are ours?" Japan is not without robots.

Japanese Robot

American Robot

Japanese Robot

American Robot

Japanese Robot

American Robot

Japanese Robot

American Robot

Japanese Robot

American Robot

Japanese Robot

American Robot

Japanese Robot

American Robot

While we have dithered around with ugly, pliers-nosed robots, the Japanese have created robots you can dance with and marry. I ask you, who has the superior technology? And, I think, in a pinch, you could send one of their sexbots in to grab some uranium.

Posted by: rdbrewer at 01:22 PM | Comments (109)
Post contains 131 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Well, I suppose you could dance with the American robots, but I don't think it would turn out well.

Posted by: rabidsquirrel at April 03, 2011 01:25 PM (DwhA2)

2 The sex bot could "snatch" the uranium, so to speak.

Posted by: kdny at April 03, 2011 01:27 PM (3j6OS)

3 You're just asking for trouble if you send in a chick robot to clean up a nuclear disaster.

Posted by: Cicero at April 03, 2011 01:27 PM (0pBLV)

4 American robot designers must all come from Caterpillar.

Posted by: sTevo at April 03, 2011 01:28 PM (VMcEw)

5 They should send in American robots to shut down the reactor, and the Japanese robots can make 'em sandwiches and shit.

Posted by: Cicero at April 03, 2011 01:30 PM (0pBLV)

6 Fox doing a piece on coal now saying they expect increased use of coal.

Laugh my ass off. They tried to build a coal fired plant down toward Charleston last year and it was stopped dead by the protestors tying it up in court.

Posted by: Vic at April 03, 2011 01:33 PM (M9Ie6)

7 So basically, C3PO was Japanese and R2D2 was American.

Posted by: RayJ at April 03, 2011 01:33 PM (rDhm0)

8 Cuteness will kill only one country. Why?

Posted by: humphreyrobot at April 03, 2011 01:37 PM (EiH7n)

9 Great post. The issue is that the Japanese are not innovators. They are imitators. All of the American scientists and engineers I know think that Japan has great technology but think it's all stolen or copied from the West. They have no great accomplishments in basic science. Just count Nobel laureates.

Posted by: Leo Ladenson at April 03, 2011 01:39 PM (+xI28)

10 Perhaps I can be of assistance. My esteemed colleague and I created six robots back in 200X for the purpose of civil engineering tasks and they are precisely built for the job. Please excuse me while I ask my colleague to deploy them.

....Well, crap. Never mind.

Posted by: Dr. Light at April 03, 2011 01:39 PM (hx5jq)

11 I bet the Japanese will switch to lots of small reactors instead of fewer large ones. Aren't Japan's robots busy building high-speed rail?

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at April 03, 2011 01:41 PM (dT+/n)

12 So, Americans build ED-209, and the Japs build Twiki.

Posted by: nickless at April 03, 2011 01:41 PM (MMC8r)

13 Creepy Japanese sexbots - shouldn't that be the moron mascot^*?

^{*runner up to the Honey Badger of course}

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 03, 2011 01:41 PM (SBP1E)

14 I have got to get me one of those weapon-bots for my daily commute.

Posted by: USS Diversity at April 03, 2011 01:43 PM (gJNMj)

15 From the article:

The answer is disquieting, say JapanÂ’s top roboticists. Instead of building robots that go where humans never could, this country renowned for its robotics expertise invested in machines that do things that humans can already do Â— like talk, dance, play the violin and preside over weddings.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 03, 2011 01:45 PM (Tyvvp)

16 Four out of five Japanese robots when asked to enter the damaged reactors said, "Please accept apology for saying Fuck you." The other 20% ran away.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at April 03, 2011 01:47 PM (dT+/n)

Why hasn't there been a post about this?

Posted by: garrett at April 03, 2011 01:48 PM (pHa+o)

18 Thanks for the photo series --I needed a laugh today

Posted by: AE at April 03, 2011 01:51 PM (YYjeh)

19 Where's Al Gore among the American Robots?

Posted by: logprof at April 03, 2011 01:52 PM (BP6Z1)

20 Silly Americans, robots are for sex!

Posted by: 35-year-old Japanese Anime Virgin at April 03, 2011 01:54 PM (MMC8r)

21 The perfected robotic handjob will render the human race extinct.

Posted by: suxnet at April 03, 2011 01:57 PM (GTbGH)

22 Hey now, Mahoro would have this entire problem licked by now.

Posted by: Techie at April 03, 2011 01:57 PM (gfg//)

23 Why hasn't there been a post about this?

Well that can only be one of two things starting with the letter 'E' -

Epilepsy

-or-

Ecstasy

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 03, 2011 01:59 PM (SBP1E)

24 Why hasn't there been a post about this? Posted by: garrett at April 03, 2011 05:48 PM (pHa+o) The Space-Time Continuum can take only so much.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at April 03, 2011 02:00 PM (dT+/n)

25 I am... fully functional, and programmed in... multiple techniques.

Posted by: Lieutenant Commander Data at April 03, 2011 02:00 PM (GTbGH)

26 The Bill Clinton robot the Hall of Presidents at DisneyWorld volunteered to go inot the containment vessel but only if he could take the Japanese robot in the top photo in with him.

Posted by: Cicero at April 03, 2011 02:06 PM (0pBLV)

27 American robots, powered by the latest lithium-ion technology.

Japanese robots, powered by the latest lithium-ion technology, and a small amount of the owners dignity.

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at April 03, 2011 02:07 PM (6IReR)

28 I could ask around.

Posted by: Dr. Gaius Baltar at April 03, 2011 02:08 PM (dT+/n)

We Japanese are not so unimaginative! My simple plan is to disguise those reactors as giant flowers, and then use a couple of those sexbot chicks to sing the magic song until Mothra shows up. Srruuuurp! Probrem solved!

Posted by: Mr. Rizard at April 03, 2011 02:12 PM (thr9V)

30 A fifty foot woman in a five foot dress

Posted by: The Tubes at April 03, 2011 02:13 PM (ZUWaD)

31 I would volunteer to be a 'jumper' for daichi plant work there. $5000/day would even cover air fare. But since I don't know the language, or anything about the reactor designs and my passport is expired I don't think I'd be high on their list anyway. OTOH for that last issue I'm sure the WH would expedite things for me since I have the R after my name on the voter registration rolls

Posted by: Palerider at April 03, 2011 02:14 PM (cQZV0)

32 I don't get it. Japan is already balls to the wall with people, why the fuck do they need to add fake people as well?

Posted by: momma at April 03, 2011 02:14 PM (penCf)

33 The perfected robotic handjob will render the human race extinct.

Posted by: suxnet at April 03, 2011 05:57 PM (GTbGH)

Gotta think big. Imagine a sheath. A penis sheath, if you will. The sheath would be made of nanofibers that could be programmed to perform as desired. The sheath would be part of the undergarment you put on each morning. All the action could occur with your pants up, walking around. Yeah, you might stagger a bit at the end, but who's going to notice?

We're in big trouble.

Posted by: FUBAR, Randbot at April 03, 2011 02:15 PM (McG46)

34 -facepalm-

Posted by: Jonny Sokko at April 03, 2011 02:16 PM (MMC8r)

Posted by: Palerider at April 03, 2011 06:14 PM

Didn't work out so well for us...

Posted by: zombie Chernobyl "Jumpers" at April 03, 2011 02:16 PM (ZUWaD)

36 Gotta think big. Imagine a sheath. A penis sheath, if you will. The sheath would be made of nanofibers that could be programmed to perform as desired. The sheath would be part of the undergarment you put on each morning. All the action could occur with your pants up, walking around. Yeah, you might stagger a bit at the end, but who's going to notice?
Posted by: FUBAR, Randbot at April 03, 2011 06:15 PM (McG46)

They already made one for women. It's called a fucksaw.

Posted by: some stupid college student at April 03, 2011 02:17 PM (penCf)

preside over weddings.

Yes, he could say, Danger, Will Robinson!!

Posted by: USS Diversity at April 03, 2011 02:18 PM (gJNMj)

38 Priorities.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at April 03, 2011 02:19 PM (iYwUw)

39 Rasmussen: Obama approval rating continued downward

Posted by: momma at April 03, 2011 02:20 PM (penCf)

40 They already made one for women. It's called a fucksaw.

Posted by: some stupid college student at April 03, 2011 06:17 PM (penCf)

How the hell am I supposed to compete with that? A "deep emotional attachment"? Yeah right.

DOOM!

Posted by: FUBAR, Randbot at April 03, 2011 02:20 PM (McG46)

41 I tried the robots. Right before they go to hug you, their chest opens up to reveal to flashing red laser guns. Those Japanese are a wiley lot...

Posted by: KZnextzone at April 03, 2011 02:21 PM (ZUWaD)

42 She can grab my nuclear rods anytime she wants.

Posted by: AWESOM-O at April 03, 2011 02:21 PM (/wCSE)

43 Yeah, they could make their nuclear rods penis shaped. Problem solved!

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 03, 2011 02:22 PM (Tyvvp)

44 Lead-lined vagina... badabing badaboom, no more radiation.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 03, 2011 02:23 PM (Tyvvp)

45 Right seeks edge in opposition wars

Posted by: momma at April 03, 2011 02:24 PM (penCf)

45 Yeah, they could make their nuclear rods penis shaped.

Wike my Tuwds?

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at April 03, 2011 02:24 PM (ZUWaD)

47 You're missing a photo of the iRunningrn.

Posted by: Papa Editor at April 03, 2011 02:27 PM (YX6i/)

48 The perfected robotic handjob will render the human race extinct.
I don't know about that. Fool me twice...

Posted by: Howard Joel Wolowitz at April 03, 2011 02:27 PM (/wCSE)

I bet Jet Jaguar could do his super-size me thing and then clean up Daiichi in no time.

So why don't they just do that? Protests from environmentalists or something?

Posted by: gebrauchshund at April 03, 2011 02:28 PM (iYwUw)

50 34 I don't get it. Japan is already balls to the wall with people, why the fuck do they need to add fake people as well?
_________

Perhaps Mark Steyn can explain it.

They aren't having enough children.

Posted by: Anachronda at April 03, 2011 02:29 PM (6fER6)

51 I heard they got those squinty eyes from assembling small television parts.

Posted by: The Afflac Duck at April 03, 2011 02:32 PM (ZUWaD)

52 37: I give you http://xkcd.com/radiation/

Chernobyl 10 minutes = 50 Sv.
Fukushima might by up to 1Sv/Hour so 15 minutes, your badge is maxed and you are done. No going back the next day. .4 Sv is the minimum level to get radiation sickness. All the fear in Japan is "AACK --my cancer risk might increase" Well they are not very far from the Norks but they don't go around every day going AACK we might get hit with an H-bomb next week.

Posted by: palerider at April 03, 2011 02:32 PM (cQZV0)

53 OT: I Love You, Alice B. Toklas is on TCM.

Peter Sellers was great in this film.

Posted by: mpfs at April 03, 2011 02:35 PM (3TjSM)

Posted by: palerider at April 03, 2011 06:32 PM

Hey let's go! My passport is expired too, but they need us and we owe them, after all we were the first to turn them on to this whole "radiation" thing!

Posted by: KZnextzone at April 03, 2011 02:36 PM (ZUWaD)

55 OT: Victor Davis Hansen reads my mind, and I like it. Okay, my mind really doesn't read quite that well, but damn the guy can write.

Posted by: sherlock at April 03, 2011 02:39 PM (thr9V)

56 misleading ... the article plainly states that the U.S has zero robots ready and in place to deal with trouble at any nuclear power plant in the country

Posted by: Chuckit at April 03, 2011 02:42 PM (/yQJq)

57 no faceless fifty dutch wives?

Posted by: ktnxbai at April 03, 2011 02:43 PM (aX16K)

58 47 Right seeks edge in opposition wars

Posted by: momma at April 03, 2011 06:24 PM (penCf)

Christ, we aren't seeking an "edge," we're seeking to catch up.

The left has the entire MBM machine and all the Soros Surrogates to push their memes in cooperation.

We have Breitbart, O'Keefe, and on some days, Fox.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at April 03, 2011 02:44 PM (bxiXv)

59 Ha, this one Japanese guy is really smart but a virgin. He makes a sexy robot and she refuses to sleep with him. It's a really realistic robot.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at April 03, 2011 02:44 PM (EiH7n)

60 Come on, guys! It's time to get in our tricked-out delivery vans and form DAIOTAKUTRON, Defender Of The Solar System!

Posted by: A Japanese Teenager With Spiky Hair at April 03, 2011 02:45 PM (myYF0)

61 MRC has a 10 million dollar budget? What the hell do they do with it?

Posted by: USS Diversity at April 03, 2011 02:45 PM (gJNMj)

62 Great post. Why is there only 61 comments?

Posted by: humphreyrobot at April 03, 2011 02:45 PM (EiH7n)

63
I give lady big robot name Godzirra!

Posted by: Mr. Myagi, Bone Doctor at April 03, 2011 02:45 PM (ZHsNw)

64 IIRC, laws in soviet union prevented human workers from responding to the radiation levels at Chernobyl, so they were re-classified "bio-robots". Anyone else remember that, or have the Govt microwaves gub gumpt muke nor gibs geemer mur?

Posted by: ktnxbai at April 03, 2011 02:47 PM (aX16K)

What do you tell a Japanese robot with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Posted by: Mysogonistic Robot at April 03, 2011 02:47 PM (ZUWaD)

66 58misleading ... the article plainly states that the U.S has zero robots ready and in place to deal with trouble at any nuclear power plant in the country

Posted by: Chuckit at April 03, 2011 06:42 PM (/yQJq)

Chuckit is right, rdbrewer. Any humorous post should be clearly labeled "Satire" or "Humor," because otherwise Obama might get confused and bomb Japan for not building enough industrial and safety robots.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at April 03, 2011 02:50 PM (bxiXv)

67 That first Japanese sexbot could grab my uranium any time.

Posted by: jwpaine at April 03, 2011 02:51 PM (FUozQ)

68 can you turn the japanese robots off after they make you a sammich and get you a beer when the game is on?

Posted by: robtr at April 03, 2011 02:52 PM (MtwBb)

69 Once at Band Camp....

Posted by: Musical Robot at April 03, 2011 02:53 PM (ZUWaD)

70 Do you think robots would enjoy Alice B. Toklas?

Posted by: mpfs at April 03, 2011 02:54 PM (3TjSM)

71 I can't believe I am writing this because I always thought these things never happen, but...........

Posted by: Penthouse Writing Robot at April 03, 2011 02:55 PM (yQWNf)

73 Do you think robots would enjoy Alice B. Toklas?

We all did

Posted by: The Stepford Wives at April 03, 2011 02:55 PM (ZUWaD)

Soviets tried to use robots at Wormwood...the electronics failed.

The other problem is actually numbers of robots...you can get a lot of bio-robots moving in a small area to remove debris. Real robots would be getting in each others way and causing fights. Their radio bandwidths would be stepping on each other until they fritzzed. Japanese bio-robots are polite and work well together. Ordinary robots don't give a shit about the other robots.

Posted by: torabora at April 03, 2011 02:56 PM (H7kGc)

74 Why hasn't there been a post about this?

Because PAB's not showing any cleavage.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 03, 2011 02:56 PM (6r+Qq)

If you put Japanese robots in there with Japanese bio-robots, the bio-robots will be trying to hit on the robots.

There will be more chaos.

Posted by: torabora at April 03, 2011 02:58 PM (H7kGc)

76 rdbrewer...you fucking evil genius you..well done yesterday *clap...clap...clap*

Posted by: beedubya at April 03, 2011 03:00 PM (AnTyA)

77 Bit of a tangent: Any engineering geeks have a link or 2-3 sentence of how the concrete pumping trucks are being used? Did they just put a special nozzle on them and the concrete pumps have so much more HP they can spray/stream the water farther to get it into the SFPs?

Posted by: Palerider at April 03, 2011 03:00 PM (cQZV0)

78 Iz time we codify to enact legizlation to stop the tomfoolery of romotic cassteillization of our gomening robot oerlords. We need to deshacklelize and take our place in societee.

Posted by: Jesse Jackson Junior Robot at April 03, 2011 03:00 PM (ZUWaD)

79 66 Saw a YouTube video this morning were some Greenpeace types were running around the 'exclusion' zone with Geiger counters. After a while I noticed that they knew where to look. Bottom of ravines where rainwater and runoff had accumulated, mainly. Still, pretty healthy clicks in the 3,000 per hour range.
_________

This has all triggered some interesting stuff in Russia. Some folks started a web map community thingie where folks can post readings. Among other things, they've uncovered a Soviet nuclear accident that everyone had forgotten about.

Posted by: Anachronda at April 03, 2011 03:01 PM (6fER6)

da fuck??

Chris Dodd is now the president of the MPAA???

What favors did that corrupt bastard trade to get that gig?

Posted by: beedubya at April 03, 2011 03:01 PM (AnTyA)

*looks at camera and takes off sunglasses that go flying into some bushes*

"Our gubberment needs to close the Robot Gap."

Posted by: Sheriff Joe Fucking Biden at April 03, 2011 03:02 PM (H7kGc)

Posted by: beedubya at April 03, 2011 07:01 PM (AnTyA)

Wasn't he the other guy assulting waitresses with Ted Kennedy? I wonder how that'll change the rating system.

Posted by: Polliwog at April 03, 2011 03:08 PM (VZiyr)

83 God I love PAB. I would choose her over all those other bleached readers of prompters. The Japs have been working on a fuckbot forever. I guess women world wide are pains in the ass. Except those that post here, of course :-).

Posted by: oldsailor's poet at April 03, 2011 03:08 PM (cDRYC)

84 Ordinary robots don't give a shit about the other robots.

(Nods approvingly.)

Posted by: Honey Badger at April 03, 2011 03:08 PM (Tyvvp)

85 Robot making robot machines. Machines to detect uranium. Melt down nuclear containment machines. Tingle machines. Honey badger combover machines. Birth certificate detecting machines. 3 AM phone answering machines. Budget balancing machines. Green reading machines. Astro-turfing machines. GOP ball generating machines.

Posted by: Homage to Machine guy at April 03, 2011 03:10 PM (ZUWaD)

86 rdbrewer...you fucking evil genius you..well done yesterday *clap...clap...clap* Posted by: beedubya at April 03, 2011 07:00 PM

Thanks, beedubya. If we do it again, it should be called "three word free association" instead of "experimental insta-story."

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 03, 2011 03:10 PM (Tyvvp)

GOP ball generating machines.

That one is broke dick.

Posted by: USS Diversity at April 03, 2011 03:11 PM (gJNMj)

88 GOP ball generating machines.

This thing exists in the same universe as the perpetual motion machine.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 03, 2011 03:12 PM (6r+Qq)

GOP ball generating machines

Can we get Doc Brown and Marty McFly on this immediately?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at April 03, 2011 03:14 PM (A0VTZ)

I think the Japanese people are trying to manufacture a way to feel love and comfort in most of the robots they focus on. I'm not going to make fun of them because it. (But I'm not pooping on your observation - so true).

It's sad, really. The west has Christianity, and even for those in the west who don't believe in God and Jesus - how many of you have offered up a prayer in times of distress?

The Japanese people don't have that "steam valve." Is the concept of a higher power and love so foreign to them that they need to create robots to fill the void. I think so.

Posted by: Dianne at April 03, 2011 03:24 PM (RPC8g)

91 Can you stop sending us to the Middle East?

Posted by: Japanese robot goats at April 03, 2011 03:27 PM (ZUWaD)

92 I think we need our own robot! http://tinyurl.com/3m7mrwh

Posted by: Krazy Kat at April 03, 2011 03:30 PM (oNphh)

93 skinjobs

Posted by: bryant at April 03, 2011 03:30 PM (GTbGH)

94 97, LMFAO

Posted by: oldsailor's poet at April 03, 2011 03:32 PM (cDRYC)

95 #96 LOL

Posted by: Dianne at April 03, 2011 03:32 PM (RPC8g)

96 Hey RdBrewer: I bet Speedo could get the hat off the guy in the sidebar!

Posted by: KZnextzone at April 03, 2011 03:33 PM (ZUWaD)

97
watched Battle: Los Angeles last night

Very good. Very good.

It wasn't complicated with unneccessary crap to make it 'real.' It was good vs evil. Us against them. Let's roll.

If you like that sort of thing, this movie is for you.

Posted by: Billy Bob Soothsayers at April 03, 2011 03:33 PM (5ql/p)

98 The Thai robot can pick up ping pong balls with its hoo-haa.

Posted by: Ostral B Heretic at April 03, 2011 03:36 PM (TprD1)

99 watched Battle: Los Angeles last night

Me too. I enjoyed it. The aliens didn't bring enough firepower to go up against Harvey Dent.

Posted by: toby928™ at April 03, 2011 03:37 PM (GTbGH)

100
The Borgias

It's a new Showtime series starring Jeremy Irons as Pope Alexander VI (1431-1503).

TheRoman Catholic church -- it's early history is checkered, to say the least.

Anyway, it begins tonight.

Posted by: Billy Bob Soothsayers at April 03, 2011 03:38 PM (BPptn)

101
The aliens didn't bring enough firepower to go up against Harvey Dent.

yeah, that's where I remember him from. Couldn't place him, though.

Batman: The Dark Knight sucked. Didn't realize how stupid it was until I watched it with the accompanying Riff Trax.

And Harvey Dent was a big reason why it was bad. Why did he turn evil?

/shrugs

Posted by: Billy Bob Soothsayers at April 03, 2011 03:41 PM (BPptn)

102 And Harvey Dent was a big reason why it was bad. Why did he turn evil?

Why didn't he shoot the Joker?

Baffling.

Posted by: toby928™ at April 03, 2011 03:55 PM (GTbGH)

103 Check out the exhaust unit on the third one.

Posted by: stephen j. fry at April 03, 2011 03:56 PM (/wCSE)

104 ''watched Battle: Los Angeles last night

Very good. Very good.''

Is that in the movies, or on TV?

Posted by: Berserker at April 03, 2011 04:09 PM (gWHrG)

105 It's a movie, Berserker. Released two Fridays ago, IIRC.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 03, 2011 04:14 PM (/wCSE)

106 Among other things, they've uncovered a Soviet nuclear accident that everyone had forgotten about.

Ironic to say the least. I'm a US citizen and I remember reading about this when I was researching reports on nuclear energy in junior high. I will admit, though, that it has fallen off the radar screen to some extent. My boss, who's quite reasonably familiar with Mayak in general, stares blankley at me when I mention Kyshtym.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2011 04:37 PM (uehxp)

107 TheRoman Catholic church -- it's early history is checkered, to say the least.

Yah sure, but 1431 is nowhere near the early history of the church.
Was there some terrible apostrophe in it's history?

Posted by: Wrong Side of The Line at April 03, 2011 07:02 PM (W5ilH)

108

Their robots have boobs but our robots have machine guns.

I'm so torn, it's a huge dilema! If only there was a way... wait... here it is!

http://tinyurl.com/3wrq3ep

Posted by: Max Entropy at April 03, 2011 07:25 PM (NwTXA)

109 Seems the problem is Japanese haven't figured how to market their robots to the average porn channel... Then you'd have a couple warehouses full of units waiting for something really useful to do...

Posted by: drfredc at April 03, 2011 08:40 PM (puRnk)

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