March 08, 2011
— DrewM I stumbled across this on Beck's radio show (I think it was his but with a guest host or something). It's really something.
The "he" Jackson, Jr. refers to is FDR in a speech to Congress in 1944.
Jackson's large theme is that, well in all honesty I'm not entirely sure. As best as I can tell, he think all jobs come from the First Amendment.
I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day how many jobs are tied to the First Amendment, that amendment added to the Constitution in 1791 by the founders of our Republic. You know what they told me? Congressman, it is impossible to calculate how many jobs are tied to the First Amendment.I said: Impossible to calculate? I said: Why?
He said because to be an American is tied to the First Amendment. He said: Congressman, you must understand--which I did--that all corporate activity in America is First Amendment activity.
Look at the jobs that come from the First Amendment: Washington Post, Washington Times; New York Post, New York Times; Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun Times; AM/FM, and all of the radio stations, First Amendment.
ABC, NBC, CBS, C-SPAN, all of the jobs, First Amendment.
Magazines, First Amendment.
iPods, iPhones, applications, First Amendment.
Time Square, First Amendment activity. Advertising, the Super Bowl, First Amendment activity.
All of these jobs--the original capitalists who came to the conclusion that this was worth protecting in our Constitution--established in the freedom system, the greatest jobs program in our Nation's history. They called it freedom of speech. And in that same amendment, they included freedom of religion.
Think about the jobs tied to 501(c)(3)s, 501(c)(4)s, 501(c)(5)s, all of that First Amendment activity. All charitable giving, all foundation activity, all tied to First Amendment activity.
This is just profoundly silly.
First, does Jackson think there was no commerce before the First Amendment was adopted?
More to the point, the First Amendment is not a grant of power to the government is a restriction of power against the government ("Congress shall make no law...."). Yet this genius' solution is to create a whole bunch of "rights" that would empower the government to do all sorts of things and thereby usher in a level of prosperity never before seen in the history of the world. In reality, it's the fact that the government is limited in power and scope (or was at one time) that the genius of free men and women was unleashed to provide goods and services their fellow citizens wanted at a price they agreed upon.
In Jackson's World, simply let the government guarantee what your wants are and magically they will appear.
Let me diagram it out...
Step 1: Pass new amendments to the Constitution
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!
Let me just save Congressman Jackson some time and offer up a proposal for the 28th Amendment to the US Constitution.
Section 1: Each citizen or resident (legal or otherwise) of the United States shall have at all times a net financial worth of no less than One Million US Dollars (to be adjusted annually for inflation).Section 2: Congress shall be deemed to have the power to pass any law necessary to bring this Amendment into force".
It's fun to mock an idiot like Jackson, Jr. but let's be honest, his "understanding" of what rights are and how the economy works is shared by a lot of people.
Posted by: DrewM at
10:11 AM
| Comments (191)
Post contains 586 words, total size 4 kb.
Posted by: sifty at March 08, 2011 10:14 AM (u4JjU)
That said, would any of us want any of said items - if they were provided by the fed.gov? Really?
Posted by: DocJ at March 08, 2011 10:15 AM (dt6br)
Posted by: jewells45 at March 08, 2011 10:15 AM (l/N7H)
Shit, it's easier to find a magic lamp and rub it for three wishes.
Posted by: EC at March 08, 2011 10:15 AM (mAhn3)
Why doesn't Junior just retire to his honky hookers and beer distributorship? I mean, why even show up when the beer and womyn is free? Free at last, free at least, OMG, free at last. When will white guys ever be able to say that?
Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 10:16 AM (Q5+Og)
I'll begin worrying when others stop laughing.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:17 AM (8y9MW)
It's a good thing the Department of Education and the teachers' unions do the hard work of spreading the stupid around.
Posted by: NC Ref at March 08, 2011 10:17 AM (/izg2)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:17 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 08, 2011 10:17 AM (7utQ2)
= jobs. I'm just not seeing it.
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 10:18 AM (UK9cE)
This here microphone in front of me...
1st Amendment. Everywhere you turn, it's all connected to the First Amendment.
Posted by: Soothsayer has a problem with Wang Dong at March 08, 2011 10:18 AM (uFokq)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 10:18 AM (i8J8M)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:19 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at March 08, 2011 10:21 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:22 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:22 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: boniface ballers at March 08, 2011 10:22 AM (bPbwB)
Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 10:22 AM (RD7QR)
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 10:23 AM (UK9cE)
Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 10:24 AM (Q5+Og)
And I'm sure there are people out there who are banging their beer cans on their coffee tables shouting, "That's what I"m talking about, Jesse! You can send me my iPod and tablet PC when you send along my mortgage check and Skittle-shitting unicorn! HOO DOGGY!"
The stupid. It burns.
Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 10:24 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (8y9MW)
That's damn brilliant, right there.
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 10:24 AM (UK9cE)
Yes. Well, the first two, anyway. Presumably the other two are already enshrined in the 1st Amendment.
I do want to ask him, "Triple J, how, exactly, is putting an amendment in the constitution going to guarantee that all Americans who want one have a job? Or, indeed, a house?"
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:24 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 10:24 AM (RD7QR)
The Fourth Amendment has created a lot more jobs than the First Amendment.
Posted by: Congressional Information Office at March 08, 2011 10:25 AM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Gmac at March 08, 2011 10:25 AM (Ra9Mp)
Posted by: AndrewsDad at March 08, 2011 10:25 AM (C2//T)
Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 10:25 AM (Q5+Og)
I would stipulate that the 2nd has, as well.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:25 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Dr Spank at March 08, 2011 10:25 AM (1fB+3)
Posted by: boniface ballers at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (bPbwB)
See the post at #1.....
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 10:25 AM (UK9cE)
Well, yeah. That is the way it was. No commerce at all. Just killing injuns, eating the "tastey" bits and leaving the rest on the ground. That and a whole lotta that fuckin'. Good times. Man, oh man, good times.
Posted by: That Guy with injun breath who was doin' all that fuckin' at March 08, 2011 10:26 AM (TXKVh)
OT: Dems Latest Complaint? The new Styrofoam cups in the House cafeteria might give them cancer.
"The letter asks Boehner to reconsider the switch away from recyclable to polystyrene-based foam containers, and warns that the health of visitors to the Capitol could be compromised.
The change to Styrofoam caused a stir among some staffers and Democratic lawmakers on Capitol Hill late last month, when the recyclable material preferred by former Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) was replaced. Lawmakers mostly raised concerns about Styrofoam's impact on the environment."
The letter to Speaker Boehner is enclosed in the article.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 08, 2011 10:26 AM (UO6+e)
Posted by: stuiec at March 08, 2011 10:27 AM (JuWS+)
OT: I'm not particularly a James Bond fan, but I know folks here are. So this may make you toss your cookies.
Daniel Craig Dresses as a Woman in Insufferably Sanctimonious PSA (John Nolte at Big Hollywood)
Yes, right. Let's have the guy who portrays Alpha male James Bond dress like a woman to make some trite point about sexual equality. WTF? Who the hell thought this was a good idea?
Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 10:27 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: snort! at March 08, 2011 10:27 AM (K/USr)
This is as prolific as M. Lauer saying to Santorum this morning on the Today Show that people don't really want to talk about social issues.
It's interesting. "We" don't want to talk about social issues. Yet they refuse to talk about the current state of the economy.
Besides C. Sheen, what can we actually talk about Matt??
Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 08, 2011 10:27 AM (pLTLS)
Wow, that's some weapons grade stupidity on full display right there. Yeesh. Of course, there are many libtards who would applaud larding up the Constitution with all kinds of "rights"--for certain groups of people.
Posted by: runningrn at March 08, 2011 10:27 AM (ihSHD)
Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2011 10:27 AM (0GFWk)
Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 10:27 AM (3nrx7)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:28 AM (AZGON)
The Fourth Amendment has created a lot more jobs than the First Amendment.
Posted by: Congressional Information Office at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (QKKT0)
I disagree.
Posted by: Debbie in Dallas at March 08, 2011 10:28 AM (/izg2)
I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day how many jobs are tied to the First Amendment, that amendment added to the Constitution in 1791 by the founders of our Republic. You know what they told me? Congressman, it is impossible to calculate how many jobs are tied to the First Amendment.
If you don't respond to this question with "WTF are you talking about? GTF outta here!!" you should be one of the unemployed.
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 10:28 AM (UK9cE)
Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2011 10:29 AM (0GFWk)
Well sure, freedom of speech sounds like a good idea, but I'm not going to include it if its not going to create any jobs.
Posted by: James Madison at March 08, 2011 10:29 AM (QKKT0)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:29 AM (AZGON)
Therefore, I propose that we add 1 new element to the periodic table each month until everyone has a job and $1 million.
Posted by: My Reality at March 08, 2011 10:29 AM (3izQj)
I'm absolutely not surprised. Despite the good job the production staff on the James Bond movies have done, Daniel Craig is a 100%, certified (certifiable) lefty, and probably (in real life) a bigger Beta Male than Ace and AllahPundit combined.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 08, 2011 02:26 PM (UO6+e)
And his response should be, "Excuse me. I need to take a sip of my coffee."
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:30 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Ugrev at March 08, 2011 10:30 AM (862vz)
Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (3nrx7)
That's why booze is still legal
Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2011 02:29 PM (0GFWk)
Cheers!
Posted by: ErikW at March 08, 2011 10:31 AM (iuRdZ)
Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at March 08, 2011 10:31 AM (YmPwQ)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:31 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: Grenade at March 08, 2011 10:31 AM (7ahtU)
Oh, and also funny how someone who basically has drawn a salary over the years without ever really having to work is screaming about jobs.
I hate to be all subterranean, but Democrat policies have destroyed the black family as well as the will for blacks to work. You could create all kinds of jobs, and these people would prefer to collect welfare while sitting on their asses, watching their flatscreens, drinking their fortified alcoholic beverages, and popping out more children without the slightest inclination of trying to find a job. I
Posted by: runningrn at March 08, 2011 10:31 AM (ihSHD)
Posted by: A.G. at March 08, 2011 10:32 AM (oAVyq)
Posted by: AllenG
If you read his remarks you would realize his answer is 'yes.'
Quoting FDR:
" ``In our day these economic truths have become accepted as self-evident. We've come to accept, so to speak, a second Bill of Rights under which a new basis of security and prosperity can be established for all--regardless of station, race, or creed.''
So what does Roosevelt do? On January 11, the only President who's ever had to confront unemployment at the level that we are confronting it right now, Mr. Speaker, he turns to the Constitution of the United States and he says, These are the things we need to ask:
If the First Amendment can guarantee us 51 percent of all jobs and from it can come iPod and laptops and the Internet and unprecedented economic growth, he says, we need to add to the Constitution the right to a family to have a decent home. "
Posted by: goldbricker esq at March 08, 2011 10:32 AM (S59+B)
= jobs. I'm just not seeing it.
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:18 PM (UK9cE)
1) First Amendment
2) ???
3) Jobs!!
Makes total sense to us!
Posted by: Lefty Sheeple in Thrall to J-Cubed at March 08, 2011 10:32 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: USA at March 08, 2011 10:32 AM (YZISw)
Now that's not exactly fair. If I were asked a question that stupid by my boss, I'd probably give the same type of answer. You can read the "Are you stupid?" between the lines of that staffer's response. However, since J3 is stupid, he didn't realize that was in there.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:32 AM (8y9MW)
This waste of congressional time brought to you by majority-minority districts.
No wonder we don't have time to address unimportant issues like going bankrupt.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 08, 2011 10:34 AM (hiFDo)
Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 10:34 AM (TXKVh)
Still doesn't address the "how" part of my question. I know he believes it can, I want to ask him HOW it can.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:34 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:34 AM (AZGON)
weasel zippers in comments:
gastorgrab says:
March 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm
The story doesnÂ’t mention the pretense of the liberal argument.
One of the Democrats found out that the supplier is a sub-supplier owned by Koch Industries.
ThatÂ’s the real reason they are complaining." I thought it was because demos like drinking and eating off of material that was formerly used to wipe someone ass.
Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 10:34 AM (Q5+Og)
I think.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 08, 2011 02:26 PM (sbV1u)
guam? I doubt he ever heard of it
Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (0GFWk)
Yes I have! It's that stuff you chew! And sometimes you can even blow BUBBLES with it.
First amendment!
Posted by: Jesse Jackson, JR. at March 08, 2011 10:35 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: The Congressional Research Service at March 08, 2011 10:35 AM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at March 08, 2011 10:35 AM (qqrPQ)
Posted by: arhooley at March 08, 2011 10:35 AM (0H+VD)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 10:37 AM (i8J8M)
Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 10:37 AM (3nrx7)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:37 AM (AZGON)
I watched, I listened, I became disoriented and nauseated. Then I realized I still have a job and a house. Hooray for the First Amendment! And even better, hooray for the Second Amendment, too. I just loves me some of them amendments.
In the end, there will only be Jessie Jackson, Jr.
Posted by: mikeyslaw at March 08, 2011 10:37 AM (QMGr1)
The Hill: "Senate John Kerry (D-Mass.) warned Tuesday that spending cuts could wipe out future government achievements, like the invention of the Internet, which Kerry credited to Washington."
So the government creates everything, cowboy poetry is essentiaol to everyday life, and jobs come from the 1st Amendment. Not only that, but Harry Reid is pretending he doesn't get to set his own schedule as Senate Majority Leader.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 08, 2011 10:38 AM (UO6+e)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:24 PM (8y9MW)
Easy! Big Oil! Big Oil's got all the money, and they're oppressing people by not giving that money away. If people don't have a job, it's because Big Oil isn't employing them. Make Big Oil give people jobs! Make Big Oil give people homes! And Big Pharma! And Wall Street! It won't be justice till there's a ghetto kid in saggy pants with an iPod and a brand new MacBook on the floor of the stock market, making money fly!
First amendment!
Posted by: Jesse Jackson, JR. at March 08, 2011 10:39 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 08, 2011 10:39 AM (qqrPQ)
Posted by: USA at March 08, 2011 10:39 AM (YZISw)
Posted by: Jesse Jackson, Jr. at March 08, 2011 10:40 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 10:40 AM (TXKVh)
Actually, a job is just being paid for the product of your labor. Whether or not that product is worth more than the land/labor/supplies is up to the market and the business owner.
Don't conflate "successful business" with "jobs." Then you might think that no one in the UAW had a job.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:40 AM (8y9MW)
The only credit Washington can take is in NOT stepping in to fuck it up for a few years while it was taking form in the beginning.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 10:40 AM (i8J8M)
Posted by: The Wisconsin Teachers Union at March 08, 2011 10:41 AM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 08, 2011 10:41 AM (F1BaX)
Actually, I'm sort of afraid that's the answer I'd get.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:41 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: polynikes at March 08, 2011 10:41 AM (yKP4s)
>>>I thinks its safe to say that both Jr and Sr. suffer from an acute form of Loggorhea.
Or diarrhea...it's easy to get those to confused - if you're Jesse Jackson Jr.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 08, 2011 10:42 AM (sbV1u)
Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 10:42 AM (RD7QR)
Please tell me you do stand-up comedy. I would find a way to come to a show.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:42 AM (8y9MW)
This Week in Future Government Achievements...
High Speed Rail.
Trains reaching speeds in excess of thirty miles per hour.
Posted by: Soothsayer has a problem with Wang Dong at March 08, 2011 10:43 AM (uFokq)
Maybe it's just me, but I always understood a "job" to be something that produces value that is greater than the amount invested. The person performing this "job" was then compensated with a potion of the excess value.
Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:37 PM (3nrx7)
What a quaint notion!
No, you see, a job is where one is paid by the NEA to perform your art of nude, yoga, pole sitting after being painted green and dipped in Rice Krispies at such venues as Burning Man.
Posted by: ErikW at March 08, 2011 10:43 AM (iuRdZ)
I do have to give Triple J props for being so baldfaced with his shameless vote pandering and stupidity...it isn't often you see it on such bold display, even now.
Free cold beer and pizza for everyone! Vote for me!
Posted by: unknown jane at March 08, 2011 10:44 AM (5/yRG)
Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 10:44 AM (TXKVh)
They nary give a thought to how those things come into existence and how they are paid for.
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 08, 2011 10:44 AM (qqrPQ)
Posted by: USA at March 08, 2011 02:39 PM
Do not mess with the space-time continuum!
Posted by: arhooley at March 08, 2011 10:44 AM (0H+VD)
The Hill: "Senate John Kerry (D-Mass.) warned Tuesday that spending cuts could wipe out future government achievements, like the invention of the Internet, which Kerry credited to Washington."
PLEASE PRAISE GOD LET IT BE SO.
I think AlGore's going to have something to say about Kerry claiming the invention of the internet as a"government" accomplishment.
Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 10:45 AM (4df7R)
8 There was a pretty good X Files episode that covers this topic -- one of my favorites.
Posted by: unknown jane at March 08, 2011 10:45 AM (5/yRG)
Posted by: Jeffrey Quick at March 08, 2011 10:45 AM (g9neE)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 10:45 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 08, 2011 02:41 PM (F1BaX)
LMAO!
"I was droppin' the fuckin' SCIENCE on my man..." is what really brings the room together.
Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 10:46 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 10:47 AM (3nrx7)
Actually, I think they do it on purpose. The point is that if you water down the word "rights" enough, it will lose its meaning. What, exactly is a "right" to a house or a computer or whatever? So people will come to think of a "right" as a) something the Government gives you, and b) something that gives you something "nice."
Now, proceed down this road a little, and you'll see that, at least as to A, what the Government gives, the Government can withhold. Then you will see a) the annulment of the actual Bill of Rights and b) the enslavement (in fact, if not in name) all Americans.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:47 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Marcus at March 08, 2011 10:48 AM (CHrmZ)
Posted by: jewells45 at March 08, 2011 10:49 AM (l/N7H)
Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 10:49 AM (RD7QR)
Posted by: Stephen Fucking Hawking at March 08, 2011 10:49 AM (AZGON)
That and a justice system weighted against companies being sure the facts in a case mean they can predict an outcome.
Posted by: Buzzsaw at March 08, 2011 10:50 AM (tf9Ne)
Posted by: MikeTheMoose at March 08, 2011 10:50 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: J Cubed at March 08, 2011 10:51 AM (qqrPQ)
"That would be the booty." I just stared at him. Then we both started laughing. Really hard.
Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 10:51 AM (TXKVh)
Posted by: unknown jane at March 08, 2011 10:52 AM (5/yRG)
CRS: All of them, baby, all of them. (snicker)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 08, 2011 10:55 AM (qqrPQ)
This man speaks the truth and we are all better for having been exposed to him or something.
Also I am now very encouraged and ispired to move forward with my political aspirations that will soon take me straight to the White House.
Piece out.
Posted by: Alvin Greene at March 08, 2011 10:56 AM (M7bLp)
This irrational logic thing is kinda fun!!
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 10:57 AM (UK9cE)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 10:58 AM (i8J8M)
"I gots me 25 doin' the hussle on my Bic Click right here!" he yelled while grabbing his crotch. Again, more laughing. It's why I spend so much time down there. At The Congressional Research Service, not his crotch.
Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 10:58 AM (TXKVh)
CRS: What? Really?
This summation of Jessie Jackson, Jr's conversation with an anonymous staffer at the Congressional Research Service was brought to you by Non Sequiturs, Unlimited, LLC, and by (cue stupid graphic) Viewers Like You.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 10:59 AM (8y9MW)
New diagram for 2011
Step 1: Pass new amendments to the Constitution
Step 2: Winning!
Step 3: Profit?
Posted by: William at March 08, 2011 10:59 AM (77TeU)
Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 10:59 AM (3nrx7)
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:28 PM (UK9cE)
They probably did and Genius, Jr. was just crafty enough to leave that part out.
BTW, I left a comment a few days back about a blood pressure scare. Turns out it was a panic attack...perhaps. Considering that I asked the Morons for Jesus to pray for me, it's probable that God cured me! Love you all.
Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 11:01 AM (T2/zQ)
Posted by: The First Amendment at March 08, 2011 11:01 AM (TXKVh)
Posted by: JJJ at March 08, 2011 11:03 AM (3H+6G)
If you're looking for bread and all the market has are 1940 Ford tractor pistons in stock, you'll take what you can get and like it comrade!
Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 11:03 AM (i8J8M)
Posted by: twig at March 08, 2011 11:05 AM (w9N0m)
BTW, I left a comment a few days
back about a blood pressure scare. Turns out it was a panic
attack...perhaps. Considering that I asked the Morons for Jesus to pray
for me, it's probable that God cured me! Love you all.
Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:01 PM (T2/zQ)
Well, calm down. Jesus is too busy monitoring the NFL labor talks to worry about your silly blood pressure. I mean, he's got to make sure that all the ones he riddled with 'talent' have good paying JOBS!!!! And Retirement!!!
See? Irrational logic is AWESOME!!!
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 11:06 AM (UK9cE)
Posted by: dananjcon at March 08, 2011 11:08 AM (pr+up)
Posted by: Optimizer at March 08, 2011 11:09 AM (2lTU+)
I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day, "Haters, what?"
And they wuz like, "Excuse me?"
"You know, all them haters out there. What's up with them?"
And they were like, "Um, Congressman, I think you may be in the wrong office. Were you looking for the men's room? Would you like a map? Everett, get Mr. Jackson a map."
"I mean, like, haters gotta hate, right? Why? Why the hate?"
"That's... a very profound question, sir. I'm sure someone with a background in philosophical research might be able to answer-"
"First amendment!"
"....excuse me?"
"Haters gotta hate. Why? First amendment. BOOM. Winning."
Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 11:10 AM (4df7R)
how in the hell was the first amendment able to be written without the power of the first amendment?
Ignoramus. Everyone knows the Founding Fathers were all volunteers.
Posted by: J-Cubed at March 08, 2011 11:10 AM (QKKT0)
This sort of drivel stems from ignorance as to the definition of 'rights' and from Whom they are dispensed. As a product of LA inner-city public schools I didn't know. I had to do my own homework as an adult. Too many people stop thinking and learning after high school--if they ever start. Thanks for nothing, NEA.
Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 11:11 AM (T2/zQ)
Jx3 seems to be proposing we adopt Article 44 of the Soviet Constitution of 1977. No bad idea is ever truly gone.
Posted by: Beagle at March 08, 2011 11:11 AM (sOtz/)
See? Irrational logic is AWESOME!!!
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 03:06 PM (UK9cE)
Heh. Why worship a Supreme Being who can't multitask?
Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 11:13 AM (T2/zQ)
Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 11:14 AM (T2/zQ)
Posted by: mojo at March 08, 2011 11:18 AM (dSpUp)
Heh. Why worship a Supreme Being who can't multitask?
Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:13 PM (T2/zQ)
To hell with multitasking. Where's my golf clubs. This power of the universe shit is fun.
Posted by: Barak the Hussein at March 08, 2011 11:18 AM (rOYaa)
Posted by: Vladtheimp at March 08, 2011 11:20 AM (0NU39)
Posted by: RJ at March 08, 2011 11:23 AM (qDPnZ)
Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at March 08, 2011 11:23 AM (VmAoa)
Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 11:25 AM (TXKVh)
Posted by: DarkLord, phoning it in at March 08, 2011 11:25 AM (GBXon)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 08, 2011 11:27 AM (1zgwP)
Dudes probably got a full up satanic temple goin' on .
Blood sacrifice , virgins , the whole nine yds .
Posted by: awkward davies at March 08, 2011 11:30 AM (YCW1b)
Posted by: AmishDude at March 08, 2011 11:39 AM (T0NGe)
There is some funny shit in these comments. Jeff and Dang are killing me. Plus, Dr. Pepper is really hard to get off your keyboard. And out of your clothes.
Posted by: mikeyslaw at March 08, 2011 11:39 AM (QMGr1)
Amendment 28
Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators or Representatives, and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States .
Posted by: elspeth at March 08, 2011 12:02 PM (0AkWH)
There's a common thread going on today - the Social Security thread, Harry Reid's cowboy poetry festival, this idiocy -
Congress is the problem. Those 535 people we elected are fucking us, every year.
We need to start a "Re-Elect Nobody" movement. Voter-imposed term limits are the only solution. Kick the bastards out.
Posted by: Penultimatum at March 08, 2011 12:09 PM (dJ7er)
1 Didn't daddy strong arm a beer distributorship for Jr.? That makes him eligible for government, how?
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:14 PM
That was another son, Yusef, who was a football star at Virginia. A U.Va. degree automatically qualifies you to own a beer distributorship.
Posted by: Adjoran at March 08, 2011 12:10 PM (VfmLu)
Posted by: Bilwick at March 08, 2011 12:35 PM (KZcFn)
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 08, 2011 12:37 PM (1Jaio)
Posted by: BuddyPC at March 08, 2011 12:41 PM (nSkOL)
I want 24/7 pickets outside his office, maybe people sleeping inside, everyone white and kinda beefy and goonish, nasty temperaments, music playing to the tune of Dire Strait's Money for Nothing, crowd chanting from the left, "I want my I-pad too," crowd over on the right answering "I want my lap-top too." Maybe some hari krishnas, Some tie-dye clothes, maybe some sideburns.
It's a right, isn't it?
Film at eleven.
Posted by: Usin-my-SS-checks-to-buy-MMJ at March 08, 2011 12:44 PM (4sQwu)
Posted by: Corky the Retard at March 08, 2011 12:50 PM (zBwXx)
Posted by: ThePaganTemple at March 08, 2011 12:52 PM (M9dt9)
I doubt if there are enough zeros in the universe to adequately compute The Stupid Quotient for that little speech.
To his credit, though, he knows just as much about the Constitution as his dad does.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at March 08, 2011 01:00 PM (b6qrg)
Posted by: Schwalbe : The © at March 08, 2011 01:29 PM (UU0OF)
Free laptop...yes!
Free housing...yes!
Free food...yes!
Free HDTVs...yes!
Free cars...yes!
Free university education...yes!
Free healthcare...yes!
Free jobs?
Let's skip beyond the idiocy and the downright braindead moron that made the statements above and go right to the critical thinking section.
If the government were able to distribute 'free' ipods, ipads and iphones to all people in the US, Google and every other mp3 player manufacturer, tablet maker, and smart phone maker would be out of business within weeks. +30,000 Apple jobs, -8,000,000 other tech jobs.
If the government were able to give people vouchers for 'free' houses, once 180 million homes were built based upon the census for distribution/location, no more homes would be bought and real estate agents, ALL home manufacturers/contractors, appliance manufacturers, and many banks would go out of business. -40,000,000 jobs.
Property taxes go unpaid; cops, teachers, firemen, garbage collectors, street cleaners/builders/repair crew and government bureaucrats are all out of jobs. -12,000,000 jobs.
Utility bills go unpaid; so no one has air conditioning, gas, electricity, sewage or water. Death, disease, starvation and crime run rampant. Food, jewelry and clothing stores are openly attacked and raided of all usable goods and valuables. Stores are closed, delivery of goods comes to a complete halt, farmers no longer are able to ship their food stuffs so their products go to waste and never leave their locations. -24,000,000 jobs.
Basically, we enter immediate anarchy, and only those with firearms and the ability to defend themselves and their families are able to survive. The federal government is dissolved. People like Senators and Congressmen, primarily with no usable skills what-so-ever are relegated to serfdom or death. The dependence of the vast majority of Americans upon technology results in widespread panic and the dissolution of civil society.
Then, Fred Thompson & Chuck Norris break into the National Archives, amend the US Constitution outlawing liberalism/socialism/statism, appends the 14th Amendment with a clause stating that the Commerce Clause only applies to perishable goods with measurable mass, transported between states via vehicle or human mobility, that the due process clause does NOT extend 'privacy' to include abortion and returns the powers not expressly granted to the federal government in the Constitution to be returned to states under penalty of treason, such that any Congressman or Executive attempting to usurp the powers of the states would be immediately impeached and brought before the judiciary on charges of treason. Lastly, Thompson and Norris scratch out the 16th & 17th Amendments, and replaces them with amendments restricting the ability of the federal government to tax its citizens' income and instead places a maximum limit of 10% consumption tax, even in times of war. The new 17th restricts the federal government from ever operating with a deficit, bailing out any state or privately owned entity, nor spend any funds not originally accounted for budget except in times of war and then only to manufacturer goods for the use in the prosecution of that war.
Or, something like that.
Posted by: Geministar at March 08, 2011 02:13 PM (97IF5)
Posted by: Jesse Jackson at March 08, 2011 02:23 PM (HGMuM)
Posted by: Jesse Jackson at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (HGMuM)
BTW, I left a comment a few days
back about a blood pressure scare. Turns out it was a panic
attack...perhaps. Considering that I asked the Morons for Jesus to pray
for me, it's probable that God cured me! Love you all.
Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:01 PM (T2/zQ)
Lucky girl!
Do take care of yourself, and stress is the biggest factor anyway. So be a Honey Badger, and don't give a shit! Better than Ativan for reducing stress!
Posted by: Merovign, Bond Villain at March 08, 2011 02:40 PM (bxiXv)
"Oh, shit! here comes Jackson again!"
"Oh, Hell, what is it now, is it the magnets thing again?"
"I don't know, you talk to him."
"Dude, no, it's your turn."
"It's not my turn! I got the one about Guam!"
"That was a dupe, man, that was easy. Shit! Whatever, whichever one he picks, just be polite and blow him off, say it's impossible or something! Make something up!"
"He's at the door, dammit..."
Posted by: Merovign, Bond Villain at March 08, 2011 02:54 PM (bxiXv)
Where is King Canute when you need him?
Posted by: Ken at March 08, 2011 03:09 PM (3ar4L)
Posted by: Ken at March 08, 2011 03:11 PM (3ar4L)
Posted by: Laura Castellano at March 08, 2011 05:16 PM (fuw6p)
Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 08, 2011 06:23 PM (vA9ld)
Posted by: Joseph at March 10, 2011 09:27 AM (OBsj+)
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Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 10:14 AM (UK9cE)