April 09, 2014

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Poses Nude on Cover of Rolling Stone, with "The Constitution" Written on Her Back
— Ace

Ugh.

Well, first of all, if you want to see a partially naked woman, who shows you a discreet amount of topbutt, you can click on the Daily Caller.

I'm annoyed, generally, by the Nudity Gambit -- do these allegedly "artistic" types have no other bullets in their ammo belts as far as buzzworthy shots? -- and more annoyed that what is on her back is not the Constitution, but rather "The Constitution, As Imagined By Ignoramuses, Dummies, and Other Rolling Stone Editors."

At the bottom of her plastic temporary tattoo is the large signature of one John Hancock. You know, John Hancock, famous signatory of the Constitution... except he didn't sign the Constitution at all.

He signed the Declaration of Independence. Most people knew this, long ago. I guess they don't now.

What I'm guessing this is is the Declaration of Independence, but with "We the People" from the Constitution appended at its top... or, more likely (now that I look at the top of the tattoo) part of the Constitution with the end of the Declaration of Independence at its bottom.

Oh well, no one ever accused Rolling Stone or artistic types of sweating the details of the American legacy.

So here's what probably happened:

Someone at Rolling Stone was surprised, when making this tattoo, to not see John Hancock's name at the bottom of it, as he expected.

Then he realized "Oh crap, the Declaration of Independence is a completely different document!!!"

Then he realized, "Gee willickers, much of the American population (and most of the readership of Rolling Stone) is as historically illiterate as I am, and if they don't see 'John Hancock' at the bottom of our 'Constitution,' they'll think we made an error. So we'd better put that at the bottom of the tattoo, or else a bunch of dummies won't know this is the Constitution at all."

Thus, we have to introduce an error to get the dummies to come to the correct conclusion.

And...

What's most annoying is that they're probably right.

I don't know what this means but it's funny: There's a major #WarOnWomen going on in the comments, because a lot of neanderthals have chosen to sexualize Ms. Louis-Dreyfus merely because she chose to sexualize herself.

How dare they.

This has led to questions about where the Bill of Rights might be tattooed. The possibilities, as I understand them, are:

"Freedom Flaps" and "Coinslot". Nuff said.

Thanks to "Nip Sip." The actual references are by "Something" and "weft-cut loop," respectively.

Rolling Stone

The magazine for smart, educated, socially-aware young Americans who are over 60 years old and who are also as dumb as a box of chicken farts.

Posted by: Ace at 10:21 AM | Comments (533)
Post contains 480 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Epic fail.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 10:22 AM (NKBxV)

2 I have avoided Rolling Stone since, "The Bomber."

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 09, 2014 10:23 AM (le5Zp)

3 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 10:24 AM (PYAXX)

4 Fantastic dimples though...

Posted by: H Badger at April 09, 2014 10:24 AM (n/0Nw)

5 The situation would have been far more tolerable with a little side boob.  Srsly, Rolling Stone, how hard is that?

Posted by: Peaches at April 09, 2014 10:24 AM (6wI9/)

6 I... find I really don't care about this. (That's not a call for others not to talk about it, simply an expression of personal disinterest).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 10:24 AM (PYAXX)

7 Because the cover also calls her "The First Lady of Comedy", this will be passed off as an intellectual joke.

"Oh good! You noticed it! You passed. Thanks for playing."

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (AC0lD)

8 Nice tramp stamp

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (LvaeI)

9 Oh, and- yes, I'd hit it.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (PYAXX)

10 Dimples are fake.

Posted by: nip at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (jI23+)

11 You know this is bullshit because I would have signed her breasts!

Posted by: John Hancock at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (FcR7P)

12 And I think the goal here was subliminal - putting 'cock' above her ass.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (le5Zp)

13 Is it any wonder that Rolling Stone doesn't know jack and shit about our own founding govt?


Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (GQ8sn)

14 AllenG HATES nekkid women. .... got it.....

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (nELVU)

15 The ugly broad from Seinfeld??

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:25 AM (m9qVG)

16 I'm having the text of the Smoot-Hawley Tariff tattooed onto my dick so these darn kids can actually learn something.

Posted by: Hairy Reed at April 09, 2014 10:26 AM (8ZskC)

17 People still read Rolling Stone?

Posted by: Thoroughly Disgusted at April 09, 2014 10:26 AM (thLL8)

18 I understand the signatures of the Forefathers are tattooed on her labia.

Freedom Flaps!

 

Posted by: Something at April 09, 2014 10:26 AM (pQJEV)

19 I don't believe that is the real Constitution and I don't believe that is Dreyfus' real ass.

Posted by: RD Walker at April 09, 2014 10:26 AM (6RtJb)

20 So here's what probably happened:

Someone at Rolling Stone was surprised, when making this tattoo, to not see John Hancock's name at the bottom of it, as he expected.

That or they just wanted to write 'cock' next to her coinslot.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i][/b] at April 09, 2014 10:26 AM (HRlKD)

21 Gotta say,JLD is one of those rare women who seems to get hotter with age.

Posted by: steevy at April 09, 2014 10:26 AM (zqvg6)

22 What was the point, anyway?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:27 AM (IXrOn)

23 Ugh.      Not what I needed to see after just having a very nummy salad for lunch.   'Scuse me while I go vomit on a passing rapist.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:27 AM (4df7R)

24 With porn so easy to find on the internet, mere nudity especially the kind that isn't explicitly naked has lost it's impact, one would think.

Posted by: Zen Smith Jr. at April 09, 2014 10:27 AM (IXMvb)

25 Freedom Flaps!


Posted by: Peaches at April 09, 2014 10:27 AM (6wI9/)

26 I'm going to have the "Johnson Act' tattooed on my member.



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 10:27 AM (GQ8sn)

27 Odds they   included John Hancock's signature because    "Hur hur hur.   It says HanCOCK.  And it's near her BUTT.   Hur hur hur!"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:27 AM (4df7R)

28 Nice face. Never fucking heard of her. Course, that doesn't surprise me since I don't watch LIV TV. I'd do her in the ass, right to right of her "John Hancock".

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 09, 2014 10:27 AM (0FSuD)

29 So, slow news day?

Posted by: SH at April 09, 2014 10:28 AM (gmeXX)

30 Rolling Stone - Providing Ignoramuses Their Imbecility

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Days of Rage Sale at the Outrage Outlet! at April 09, 2014 10:28 AM (hLRSq)

31 Rosie O'Donnell had the Affordable Care Act tattooed on her ass. And it fit.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 10:28 AM (OZmbA)

32 Gonna see my picture on the cover, Gonna buy five copies for my Mother.

Posted by: The Pope at April 09, 2014 10:28 AM (bitz6)

33 About that tat on her anus..... which Forefather was named "B0B?

Posted by: Confused and Furious at April 09, 2014 10:28 AM (pQJEV)

34 Are those dimples on her ass or ???

Posted by: Thoroughly Disgusted at April 09, 2014 10:28 AM (thLL8)

35 20 I understand the signatures of the Forefathers are tattooed on her labia. Freedom Flaps! Did you happen to notice the general location of my name? Was it on my namesake?

Posted by: Button Gwinett [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:29 AM (LvaeI)

36 You know this is bullshit because I would have signed her breasts! You'd be late to the party, pal. I already hit it.

Posted by: Benjamin Franklin[/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 10:29 AM (0HooB)

37 You know, I bet everybody at Rolling Stone that worked on that cover didn't even realize the error, they probably thought it just looked cool because John Hancock's signature is neato.

Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 10:29 AM (659DL)

38 All you Jew H8rs!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:29 AM (IXrOn)

39 "Freedom Flaps" and "Coinslot". Nuff said.

Posted by: nip at April 09, 2014 10:29 AM (jI23+)

40 >>I'm annoyed, generally, by the Nudity Gambit -- do these allegedly "artistic" types have no other bullets in their ammo belts as far as buzzworthy shots? <<

What- you want to hear them speak some more?

Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 10:29 AM (GGCsk)

41 All you women Jew H*rs!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:29 AM (IXrOn)

42 I've got a framed print of the Declaration of Independence hanging in my den, from the National Archives. So, ummm, we'll that's all, that's something in my den.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 10:30 AM (ZshNr)

43 31 So, slow news day? Posted by: SH at April 09, 2014 02:28 PM (gmeXX) Not in PA.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 09, 2014 10:30 AM (0FSuD)

44 I'm going to have the "Johnson Act' tattooed on my member. Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 02:27 PM (GQ8sn) ---- No No No No.... Mine says "The Johnson & Jonson Board of Public Trustees Renumeration and Compensention Funding Addendum of 2011 Act."

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 10:30 AM (nELVU)

45 "That or they just wanted to write 'cock' next to her coinslot." You wins 800 internetz creditz.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at April 09, 2014 10:30 AM (VzAzL)

46 The Marisa Tomei photoshop from earlier today was much better.

Posted by: @JohnTant at April 09, 2014 10:30 AM (eytER)

47 Oh ewwwww!

Posted by: Gay Man Ass at April 09, 2014 10:30 AM (pQJEV)

48 I'll admit, I loved the heck out of Seinfeld.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:30 AM (IXrOn)

49 I have it on good authority that Ronald Reagan refused to sign the Constitution because Benjamin Franklin pissed him off.

Posted by: Something the Searchlight Strangler Might Say at April 09, 2014 10:30 AM (zllbf)

50 Looking pretty good. I'm guessing that's photoshop, right? Cause it's looking super hit-able.

Posted by: Max Power at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (q177U)

51 Not be rude, but I wouldn't mind "whiting out" that John Hancock for her, n'est pas?

Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (/FnUH)

52 Dude. Jobs blow.

Posted by: Rolling Stone Editor at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (Aif/5)

53 Speaking of important distinctions, is it top butt or butt cleavage? Or are they both acceptable terms? 

Posted by: Bud Norton at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (6cOMd)

54 The ugly broad from Seinfeld?? Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 02:25 PM (m9qVG) GET *pushes Soothsayer* OUT!

Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (659DL)

55 *skimming* Hmm, no zombie. When does the thread start?

Posted by: Ace's Mom at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (FcR7P)

56 anyone have a spare fork?  I'm having trouble gouging out this other eye..

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (x3YFz)

57 There's a whole type of thing where this happens. Tvtropes (fair warning, do not open multiple tabs, lest you be gone forever) calls it "Reality is unrealistic." Tons of examples, like how when we see horses on tv, if they don't have really load coconut noise as they walk, it feels off.

Posted by: AMDG at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (eFytx)

58 No No No No.... Mine says "The Johnson & Jonson Board of Public Trustees Renumeration and Compensention Funding Addendum of 2011 Act."

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 02:30 PM (nELVU)



The Johnson Act is real.  It forbids foreign countries in default from selling their bonds in the US.  I'm going to have the entire text inked on me!



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (GQ8sn)

59 Hank Aaron says Julia is a racist.

Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (GGCsk)

60 Her stand-in is Spongeworthy.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (bitz6)

61 "Gotta say,JLD is one of those rare women who seems to get hotter with age." =============== Well they dressed her like a bag lady on Seinfeld; she really only had one way to go afterward.

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (/AHDz)

62 All you Jew H8rs! Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 02:29 PM (IXrOn) Wait, this women is a Jew? Nice nose job. I denounce myself.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 09, 2014 10:31 AM (0FSuD)

63 I've got a framed print of the Declaration of Independence hanging in my den, from the National Archives. So, ummm, we'll that's all, that's something in my den. Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 02:30 PM (ZshNr) me too but, it's in a hallway

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:32 AM (IXrOn)

64 What do they call a quarter-pounder with cheese?



Posted by: Jules at April 09, 2014 10:32 AM (JyjXt)

65 I can't wait until they start this with men's magazines. Then, they can honestly say they read the articles.

Posted by: no good deed at April 09, 2014 10:32 AM (ILBCY)

66 Upper/inner ass dimples, what is the technical term?

Posted by: Max Power at April 09, 2014 10:32 AM (q177U)

67 I asked a co-worker at work if he knew who John Hancock was... His response? "Well I know the saying...." He has his bachelors degree from BYU... Sad

Posted by: Chris at April 09, 2014 10:32 AM (WjMgb)

68 Not be rude, but I wouldn't mind "whiting out" that John Hancock for her, n'est pas?

Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM (/FnUH)



Not to be rude, but that's called "Superman-ing".



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 10:32 AM (GQ8sn)

69 56 The ugly broad from Seinfeld?? Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 02:25 PM (m9qVG) GET *pushes Soothsayer* OUT! Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM (659DL) Sooth isn't spongeworthy.

Posted by: Button Gwinett [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:32 AM (LvaeI)

70 I'm always up for a little white devil crack.

Posted by: Marion Barry at April 09, 2014 10:32 AM (NpXoL)

71 This being Rolling Stone, you maybe underestimate the levels of mental illness that go into every photo shoot. They probably think putting "The Constitution" on a naked woman is edgy and dangerous, like a political "Piss Christ" (for them, the touchstone of all great art). They likely do not care one iota whether John Hancock actually signed some document hundreds of years ago. Design, design, design. Dry facts and historical accuracy are for boring actual journalistic endeavors. In any case they always panned Led Zeppelin, so even on music they were terrible.

Posted by: talldave2 at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (/s1LA)

72 JLD is one of those rare women who seems to get hotter with age. Yeah, it was an interesting progression to watch even just during the Seinfeld years.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (fOLwM)

73 What 69 posts and nobody said it?

I'd hit it.

Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (GGCsk)

74

Upper/inner ass dimples, what is the technical term?

 

----------

 

Thumbprints?

Posted by: @JohnTant at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (eytER)

75 Not be rude, but I wouldn't mind "whiting out" that John Hancock for her, n'est pas? Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM (/FnUH) gross

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (IXrOn)

76 If that's all her . . . she still looks darn good.  Not the lovely creature she was in the early "Seinfeld" days -- a girl who could still look pretty even when making funny faces -- but still hot.

In her "New Adventures of Old Christine," though, she was starting to show wear and tear.  Still MILFish, though.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (yQq8A)

77 I understand that both on New Adventures of Old Christine and the current show they make a lot of jokes at her expense with her sily leftist beliefs.So,she's a lefty but she sees some humor in poking funat her side.

Posted by: steevy at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (zqvg6)

78 Upper/inner ass dimples, what is the technical term? Thumb rests

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (LvaeI)

79 "First Lady of American Comedy"? When was this?

Posted by: tu3031 at April 09, 2014 10:33 AM (nsQhi)

80 Why is it that lefties who hate the Constitution, and are always trying to ignore it, if not destroy it, use it for props like this?

Posted by: Baldy at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (2bql3)

81 Thumb rests

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 09, 2014 02:33 PM (LvaeI)



*high fives*

Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (GQ8sn)

82 28 I'm going to have the "Johnson Act' tattooed on my member. Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 02:27 PM (GQ8sn) Me, I'm just gonna keep the one that usually just says Shorty".

Posted by: jwpaine @PirateBallerina at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (2oU2+)

83 Wen i use werdz, i lik 2 cater 2 teh lowes comon denenominator.

Posted by: no good deed at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (ILBCY)

84 I can't believe I was the first to mention Spongeworthy.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (bitz6)

85 The only details progs concern themselves with is my money.

Posted by: dananjcon at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (NpXoL)

86 Thank GAWD for photoshop!

Posted by: Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Labia at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (pQJEV)

87 66 What do they call a quarter-pounder with cheese? A mouthful waiting to release?

Posted by: Reggie Love at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (0FSuD)

88 If she shaves, we could probably get the Bill of Rights on the front side. Just sayin.

Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 10:34 AM (GGCsk)

89 I have researched the issue and her body in that picture is fully consistent with the other pictures I have seen.Somebody has to do the tough jobs.

Posted by: steevy at April 09, 2014 10:35 AM (zqvg6)

90 Why??? JLD is no spring chicken - why must she drag the constitution/Declaration of independence into her mid-life crisis photo shoot?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 09, 2014 10:35 AM (udjuE)

91 Upper/inner ass dimples, what is the technical term? The term your searching for is, "sacral dimples." And she has a mighty fine set of them.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 10:35 AM (0HooB)

92
I'd hit it.

Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 02:33 PM (GGCsk)

...with a shovel.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 10:35 AM (x3YFz)

93 >>Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 02:33 PM I see nuttin'.

Posted by: Y-not from her sick bed at April 09, 2014 10:35 AM (zDsvJ)

94 Yeah. That's right.

Posted by: puddy at April 09, 2014 10:35 AM (QZkRD)

95 Hey!! Thats no map of Hawaii on her back thats ME!!!



Oh!!!

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld Clay at April 09, 2014 10:35 AM (NpXoL)

96 The Declaration of Constipendence.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (ZshNr)

97 She was under-rated hot on Seinfeld, and she's still under-rated hot today. Easy on the eyes, liberal idiocy aside.

Posted by: Fred at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (pUAXu)

98 JLD is no spring chicken - why must she drag the constitution/Declaration of independence into her mid-life crisis photo shoot?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 09, 2014 02:35 PM (udjuE)

narcissism.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (x3YFz)

99 "Oh good! You noticed it! You passed. Thanks for playing." Heh heh, I meant to do that.

Posted by: PeeWee Herman at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (ILBCY)

100 Not be rude, but I wouldn't mind "whiting out" that John Hancock for her, n'est pas? Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM (/FnUH) Ann called for you. Wouldn't leave a message. Said it was nuttin.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (nELVU)

101 This means her lousy HBO comedy series is dying, so it's all media-hands on deck to pimp it! They do with Lena Dunham's crap, too.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (m9qVG)

102 I can't wait until they start this with men's magazines. Then, they can honestly say they read the articles. Posted by: no good deed at April 09, 2014 02:32 PM (ILBCY) That blond guy from MI5/Spooks, Rupert Penry-Jones, might be the first to volunteer. He says he doesn't care nude scenes, because he's done so many. He did have the bod for it. Not sure anymore, though.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (IXrOn)

103 John Hancock couldn't even get into the Tea Party today !! They'd call him a liberal !!

Posted by: Something Heard on MSNBC at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (nCSwS)

104 What 69 posts and nobody said it? I'd hit it. Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 02:33 PM (GGCsk) Ahem. 10 Oh, and- yes, I'd hit it. Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 02:25 PM (PYAXX)

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 10:36 AM (PYAXX)

105 She's also worth something north of a billion dollars from an inheritance, IIRC.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 09, 2014 10:37 AM (fOLwM)

106 Not be rude, but I wouldn't mind "whiting out" that John Hancock for her, n'est pas?

Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM (/FnUH)



See?   Even when someone just reads the comments, ace, they get    to experience your wit!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:37 AM (4df7R)

107 And who is Julia Hyphen-Hyphen again? Rolling Stone really went downhill after the non-Trustafarian stoners got jobs and bought from advertisers. That reminds me, tho', of one of the cautionary tales I tell myself. A former employee, a reader of High Times, warned me about the Patriot Act and phone call monitoring. At the time, all we knew the authorities were doing was monitoring phone calls from foreign nationals abroad to the United States. He claimed it was really, really dire, Man, and I asked him, "What's your source on that, High Times?" He sheepishly acknowledged it was so. Of course, at the time, neither of us knew what the NSA was or would be up to with their metadata collections, etc. So, it could be a case of "some old document, Man, don't eff with me. Where we get our rights from, Dood." "Oh, you mean our endowing Creator!"

Posted by: Ag nerd at April 09, 2014 10:37 AM (1/4XQ)

108 They had to photoshop us out :-(

Damn Three-Fifths Compromise!

Posted by: Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Hemorrhoids at April 09, 2014 10:37 AM (pQJEV)

109

I have a John Handlemycock for her.

 

What up?

Posted by: Barney Stinson at April 09, 2014 10:37 AM (eytER)

110 "You mean . . . we're just a couple of white people?"

"Guess so."

"Well. . . .  You want to go to The Gap?"

Posted by: Things Elaine Said at April 09, 2014 10:37 AM (yQq8A)

111 I know I'll get pushback on this, but to me, JLD is a fugly little scrunt.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 10:37 AM (7ObY1)

112 Did that Nutmeg merchant sign it?

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 10:37 AM (bitz6)

113 "Jerry . . .  It's three a.m., and I'm at a cockfight.  What am I missing here?"

Posted by: Things Elaine Said at April 09, 2014 10:38 AM (yQq8A)

114 Piker. I have the entire Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act tatted on my badonkadonk!

Posted by: Michelle at April 09, 2014 10:38 AM (VzAzL)

115 So Brooke Baldwin, yes or no? I'm going with, until it falls off.

Posted by: Adam at April 09, 2014 10:38 AM (Aif/5)

116 Some of the times on Seinfeld she was dressed frumpy was because she was pregnant or recently had been.She's been married a long time to an ugly dude.

Posted by: steevy at April 09, 2014 10:38 AM (zqvg6)

117 why must she drag the constitution/Declaration of independence into her mid-life crisis photo shoot? Because 33,000 women weren't available for the 'Affordable Care' Act's regulations.

Posted by: t-bird at April 09, 2014 10:38 AM (FcR7P)

118 Unfortunately, she has Obama's mug tattooed on her shaved mons veneris.

Posted by: Hepcat at April 09, 2014 10:38 AM (Q4mug)

119 *high fives* How Grease Monkey.

Posted by: Thoroughly Disgusted at April 09, 2014 10:38 AM (thLL8)

120 Maybe they wanted "controversy" - oooh, the right-wingers will be so ***shocked***!! Uh, no. Just bored w/this shtick.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (udjuE)

121 "First Lady of American Comedy"? When was this? I'd have to argue Lucille Ball or Carol Burnett.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (NKBxV)

122 Dude, her family has so much money she did not need to get into acting. Her father is worth about $3.5 billion

Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (GGCsk)

123 O/T I know this will make the Ukraines feel better. NY Slime says Russia just wants influence, not invasion. Funny CIA says they are lined up to go. I guess this is the last beg from the administrator through their mouth piece for Russia to stop the invasion. I give em 48 hours.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (0FSuD)

124 She was under-rated hot on Seinfeld, and she's still under-rated hot today. Easy on the eyes, liberal idiocy aside. Posted by: Fred at April 09, 2014 02:36 PM (pUAXu) It was more like cute and feisty on Seinfeld, versus hot.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (IXrOn)

125 Her butt dimples are triggering my micro-aggression.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (7ObY1)

126 Tons of examples, like how when we see horses on tv, if they don't have really load coconut noise as they walk, it feels off. Unsheathing a sword doesn't make that shiiiiing sound!

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (qKrH5)

127 The photo-shopper-guy/gal forgot to do her forehead; it looks like the Hampton shoreline after a Nor'easter.

 

Posted by: dananjcon at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (NpXoL)

128 We've always been a little disappointed in her feet.

That of course would not stop us from Hitting It.

Posted by: Heel & Arch Fanciers, Inc. at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (yQq8A)

129 The Red Coats are Coming!

The Red Coats are Coming!

Posted by: Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Bloody Tampon at April 09, 2014 10:39 AM (pQJEV)

130 The ugly broad from Seinfeld?? - I guess I'd rather see her naked than, say, Newman but not by much.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 09, 2014 10:40 AM (XUKZU)

131 So it's running 65 percent in favor of JLD is a hottie and 25 percent JLD is fugly or just plain ugly and 10 percent moronettes who are grossed out by all the comments.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 10:40 AM (OZmbA)

132 JLD is no spring chicken - why must she drag the constitution/Declaration of independence into her mid-life crisis photo shoot?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 09, 2014 02:35 PM (udjuE)



I suspect it's because   her show is "Veep," and she plays a Sarah Palin-esque  Vice President.  

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (4df7R)

133 Fugly.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (bitz6)

134 Breaking news!!! I went to Taco Bell for lunch and I didn't cry!

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (XUKZU)

135 53 Not be rude, but I wouldn't mind "whiting out" that John Hancock for her, n'est pas? Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM (/FnUH) Pearl Drops - they're not just a toothpaste anymore!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (HsTG8)

136 I am betting there is no lint in that butt-crack.

Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (GGCsk)

137 Something smells.

Posted by: John Hancock at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (dqzWI)

138 Well they dressed her like a bag lady on Seinfeld; she really only had one way to go afterward. Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM (/AHDz) I think, when they did tha,t they were hiding her pregnancies.

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (bCEmE)

139 We the Pimples....

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (8MjqI)

140 So it's running 65 percent in favor of JLD is a hottie and 25 percent JLD is fugly or just plain ugly and 10 percent moronettes who are grossed out by all the comments.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 02:40 PM (OZmbA)



Count me as an 'Ette who isn't grossed out by the comments, and who thinks JLD looks good for her age but is also the beneficiary of the wonders of photoshop.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (4df7R)

141 I have a short paper due this quarter and just had a great idea... Get me Kate Upton's number!

Posted by: t-bird at April 09, 2014 10:41 AM (FcR7P)

142 Just peeked at the pic. The airbrush had to work overtime for that one. And she still comes out a 6.5.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:42 AM (m9qVG)

143 I think she has a very stupid expression on her face. Other than that, I don't see any point in the photo.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 10:42 AM (XyM/Y)

144 Not be rude, but I wouldn't mind "whiting out" that John Hancock for her, n'est pas? Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM (/FnUH) Ann called for you. Wouldn't leave a message. Said it was nuttin. Nuttin on what?

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 10:42 AM (NKBxV)

145 141 Breaking news!!! I went to Taco Bell for lunch and I didn't cry! The Orange Weeping Boner must have got pink chicken in his fajita.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 10:42 AM (7ObY1)

146 141 Breaking news!!! I went to Taco Bell for lunch and I didn't cry! Posted by: WalrusRex at April 09, 2014 02:41 PM (XUKZU) Wait a minuteÂ… are you willow?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 09, 2014 10:42 AM (HsTG8)

147 O/T I know this will make the Ukraines feel better. NY Slime says Russia just wants influence, not invasion. - Is that diplomatese for "just the tip"?

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 09, 2014 10:43 AM (XUKZU)

148 >> Isn't Julia Louis Dreyfuss a Bankster? That's where she gets most of her wealth.<<

Her father. Not her.

And almost forgot- bankster? Go hang yourself.

Posted by: Marcus T. at April 09, 2014 10:43 AM (GGCsk)

149 JLD is heiress to a billion dollar fortune. Just thought you should know. A throbbing lefty, too. But a billion dollars sounds like a lot of money. At least in some circles.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 09, 2014 10:43 AM (BZAd3)

150 JLD looks like someone who constantly smells like day-old Lebanese food.

Posted by: johnd01 at April 09, 2014 10:43 AM (ukNFU)

151 Language, please.

"Discreet" means "carefully chosen."
"Discrete" means "clearly separated."

Oh. Well. I see what you did there. Separated. Yeah, OK.

"Discrete" topbutt.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 09, 2014 10:44 AM (xq1UY)

152 "I have avoided Rolling Stone since, 'The Bomber.'"

I've avoided RS for decades. They're utter scum.

If you want an example from earlier than the glam _Tiger Beat_ tween romance shot of the younger Tsarnaev, look back at the brutal hit piece they ran on Army four-star Stan McChrystal, "The Runaway General".

That piece resulted in McChrystal being relieved of command and pushed into early retirement from the Army.

Despite the fact that just after the scandal broke, one of McChrystal's aides released his private e-mail correspondence with the "journalist" who wrote the piece in question, pointing out that the replies he had provided on the record to said "journalist" didn't comport at all with what had been printed by RS.

No, Obama and Biden felt disrespected by what McChrystal and his staff had said -- or what this "journalist" claimed that they had said, and so Obama sacked McChrystal. A guy with a better track record of rolling up violent jihadi operations than anyone else in the business.

An internal Army inquiry later concluded that the piece contained what could only have been substantial fabrications.

Did McChrystal have his rank restored and come back into the Army? No. Were the shattered uniformed careers of his subordinates put right? No.

The "journalist" in question later went on to die in a car crash, driving his Mercedes at over a hundred miles an hour in a residential neighborhood, while legally drunk and with crystal meth in his system.

As I said, _Rolling Stone_ are scum.

Posted by: torquewrench at April 09, 2014 10:44 AM (noWW6)

153 138 So it's running 65 percent in favor of JLD is a hottie and 25 percent JLD is fugly or just plain ugly and 10 percent moronettes who are grossed out by all the comments. She's not fugly by any stretch.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 09, 2014 10:44 AM (pYXiI)

154 She was one of the unfunniest cast members during one of the unfunniest eras of SNL. That's saying something. I can't think of a single thing she's been successful at aside from Seinfeld. Without Seinfeld's writers, she's nuttin.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 10:44 AM (7ObY1)

155
Purple mountain majesty is printed on her bewbs.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 09, 2014 10:44 AM (hUf/y)

156 stringer davis, thanks for the correction. I'll try to remember that.

Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 10:44 AM (/FnUH)

157 She's about 50 years old and yes, the picture was photoshopped. I haven' seen her in anything since Sieinfeld and I rarely watched that. Meh.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 10:45 AM (XyM/Y)

158 Rolling Stone:      You know we're intelligent, because Toure used to   work for us!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:45 AM (4df7R)

159 161 Word is that Obama was looking for any excuse to get rid of McChrystal anyway.

Posted by: steevy at April 09, 2014 10:45 AM (zqvg6)

160 158 She's got 3 assholes. That's gotta be worth something. 159 JLD looks like someone who constantly smells like day-old Lebanese food. She needs 3 assholes to process all that day-old Lebanese food.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 10:46 AM (7ObY1)

161 The elbows...not too shabby.


Posted by: dananjcon at April 09, 2014 10:46 AM (NpXoL)

162 Soothsayerism #4: Never make your readers read more words than necessary. Or, never make your audience work while reading your prose. Same goes for names. Never make people work to say your name. A Christian name, and a sur name. That's all. I hate when I have to say middle names or two sur names. And that means I hate that person, too.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:46 AM (m9qVG)

163 Purple mountain majesty is printed on her bewbs. Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 09, 2014 02:44 PM (hUf/y) A little lower probably.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 09, 2014 10:46 AM (da5Wo)

164 She's still trying to recover from her 'Old Christine' show. It sucked.

Posted by: Thoroughly Disgusted at April 09, 2014 10:46 AM (thLL8)

165 She looks Turko Mongolian.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 10:47 AM (bitz6)

166 167 Rolling Stone: You know we're intelligent, because Toure used to work for us! Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 02:45 PM (4df7R) The Niblit??

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 09, 2014 10:47 AM (da5Wo)

167 If we lined up everyone commenting on this thread and took the same picture of each, who would look better than Julia?

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 10:47 AM (OZmbA)

168 Count me as an 'Ette who isn't grossed out by the comments, and who thinks JLD looks good for her age but is also the beneficiary of the wonders of photoshop. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 02:41 PM (4df7R) hehe. If only I could photoshop the "comments" off of me in real life. ;-) It's in my hair, on by breasts, all over the place. Talk about a loaded gun...

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:47 AM (IXrOn)

169 I don't know about all the other stuff here, but I think its amazing that a billionaire  and  very  successful  actress comedienne is still hungry enough for publicity that she'll do this to promote her TV show.  Clearly, she is a lot more aggressive than I would ever be (similarly situated).  Wow.

Posted by: MTF at April 09, 2014 10:47 AM (LISuA)

170 When I was on the cover of Rolling Stone I had one of those 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Law' tags hanging out of my fly, and those feebs retouched it out!

Buncha prudes. So what if it was forty years ago??!!

Posted by: Dr. Hook at April 09, 2014 10:47 AM (DLu2s)

171

Yeah, I took a good look at that cover.  In the interest of journalism.

 

Fake.  Just look at the lower jaw area and then the smooth, perfectly stainless, wrinkle-less back.

 

I'd still hit it.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 09, 2014 10:47 AM (zF6Iw)

172 Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 02:47 PM (IXrOn) Pics or...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 10:48 AM (PYAXX)

173 The Niblit??

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 09, 2014 02:47 PM (da5Wo)



The very same!   Don't you know that's where he got his journalistic bona fides?   Doing album reviews for Rolling Stone.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:48 AM (4df7R)

174 Attractive is in the eye of me.

Wifey was getting ready for work this morning and I was staring (after 16 years!).  She said "my eyes are up here!"  I didn't move my eyes and said "I know."

Shield Maiden.  Married one.  Awesome.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 10:48 AM (x3YFz)

175 Day old Lesbian food?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 10:48 AM (pgQxn)

176 If she had Obamacare tattooed on her, she'd be black.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 09, 2014 10:48 AM (pYXiI)

177 They airbrushed out her gut.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:48 AM (m9qVG)

178 WINNAH! ! !

33 Rosie O'Donnell had the Affordable Care Act tattooed on her ass. And it fit.

Posted by: Baghdad Bill at April 09, 2014 10:49 AM (DVC2D)

179 I still don't get it. It's not funny (she's a supposed comedienne). It's not shocking. First Lady doesn't even remotely relate. It's just dumb. Someone's going to buy a mag for this?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:49 AM (IXrOn)

180 Posted by: talldave2 at April 09, 2014 02:33 PM (/s1LA) Stop by "Classic Values" from time to time. Decided to look in after I saw your nic. About every third story is Marijuana this, or Marijuana that. In the midst of so much rampant Fascism nowadays, the Libertarians can't seem to get their minds off of anything but "Legalize Pot!!!!" And they wonder why people generally don't take them seriously.

Posted by: D-Lamp at April 09, 2014 10:49 AM (bb5+k)

181 Movie classic: Tires squeal on a gravel road.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 10:49 AM (Py3Xj)

182 Don't know what this means but it's funny. What it means is that The Left is schizophrenic.

Posted by: katya the designated driver at April 09, 2014 10:49 AM (4Chvm)

183 I HOPE when I'm JLD's age that i'll look half so good as she does.  Of course, I don't have the benefit of gobs of money that I can throw at personal trainers, nutritionists, chefs and dieticians, let alone    plastic surgery.  

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:49 AM (4df7R)

184 Fake. Just look at the lower jaw area and then the smooth, perfectly stainless, wrinkle-less back. I am... and thinking of a more perfect union.

Posted by: t-bird at April 09, 2014 10:50 AM (FcR7P)

185 The female body was obviously designed by a bureaucrat.

Who else would place a sewer plant next to a play ground?

What?

Posted by: Gay Man Ass at April 09, 2014 10:50 AM (pQJEV)

186 Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 02:48 PM (m9qVG) Admit it. You'd tap that like Michael Flatley on a dance-floor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 10:50 AM (PYAXX)

187 Photosopped

Posted by: SGT York at April 09, 2014 10:51 AM (1IPWs)

188 She's famous for: Get OUT! while pushing Jerry on the chest.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:51 AM (IXrOn)

189 It's in my hair, on by breasts, all over the place. Talk about a loaded gun... Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 02:47 PM (IXrOn) ---- go on......

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 10:51 AM (nELVU)

190 Not even Jefferson would hit it.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 10:51 AM (bitz6)

191 The JLD from the mid- to late '90s was actually quite hittable. I have my doubts that that is actually her body and assume it's stunt body + photoshop. As to funny...eh. She's been playing stupid chicks since the Seinfeld days. Time for a new schtick.

Posted by: joncelli at April 09, 2014 10:51 AM (RD7QR)

192 As I said, _Rolling Stone_ are scum. Posted by: torquewrench at April 09, 2014 02:44 PM (noWW6) So are the other "News" sources. They are all scum. They are all fucking us over, and it is long past the time we tried to burn down their ability to do so.

Posted by: D-Lamp at April 09, 2014 10:51 AM (bb5+k)

193 The very same! Don't you know that's where he got his journalistic bona fides? Doing album reviews for Rolling Stone. When I want insightful insights into politics, I always turn to music critics.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 10:52 AM (0HooB)

194 Damned Daily Caller link bogged my cornputer down.  These click hungry websites (Blaze is the worst) are full of scripts, spiders, malware whatever else you can think of.


Posted by: dananjcon at April 09, 2014 10:52 AM (NpXoL)

195

She's been playing stupid chicks since the Seinfeld days. Time for a new schtick.

 

---------

 

I'm not so sure she's been acting....

Posted by: @JohnTant at April 09, 2014 10:52 AM (eytER)

196 An ass-crack divided against itself ....

Posted by: Abraham's Lincoln at April 09, 2014 10:52 AM (pQJEV)

197 Movie classic: Tires squeal on a gravel road.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 02:49 PM (Py3Xj)



Another movie classic:   getting punched in the face sounds   just like    snapping a wet towel.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:52 AM (4df7R)

198 Tarde wrote music reviews? I bet all the white artists got one star.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 10:52 AM (7ObY1)

199

I think she looks hot, and there is one sure fire way of keeping her from talking alot of lefty nonsense.

 

Amirite fellas?

Posted by: J. Locke at April 09, 2014 10:53 AM (9RGT+)

200 I'd rather have that "circus fat" Kirstie Alley than Julia Doofus.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:53 AM (m9qVG)

201 Hey Rolling Stone!  I'm   experienced   and   available!

Posted by: Scott Brown at April 09, 2014 10:53 AM (LISuA)

202 Droopy Penumbras ensure equality under a tired old squaw.

Posted by: J Toolbin at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (wu/TK)

203 211 Hey Rolling Stone! I'm experienced and available!

Posted by: Scott Brown at April 09, 2014 02:53 PM (LISuA)



GO FUCK YOURSELF, CARPET BAGGING ASSHOLE.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (4df7R)

204 OT: Rep. Elijah Cummings is pinning the McCarthyism label on Rep. Darrell Issa in the ongoing fight between the two Oversight Committee leaders about the IRS targeting scandal from last year. That's right, Eli. And it's racist, too.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (XUKZU)

205

This is like watching a car wreck.  Got the Ft Hood memorial on FNC.  Dear Leader yet to speak.    I wonder who  he'll give his shout-outs too. 

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (o7LFs)

206 She did play a good yuppie scrunt in "Christmas Vacation."

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (8MjqI)

207 I'm curious. Fran Drescher or Julia Dryfus?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (m9qVG)

208 The Pope managed to keep his dress on for his cover.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (bitz6)

209 OT: Rep. Elijah Cummings is pinning the McCarthyism label on Rep. Darrell Issa in the ongoing fight between the two Oversight Committee leaders about the IRS targeting scandal from last year.


Old news.  He's been doing that since the whole thing started.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (4df7R)

210 actually quite hittable. Ah, yes. Four scores and seven years ago...

Posted by: Abe "Welcome to Springfield. Have a Nice Day" Lincoln at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (FcR7P)

211 No No No No.... Mine says "The Johnson & Jonson Board of Public Trustees Renumeration and Compensention Funding Addendum of 2011 Act." Posted by: fixerupper All on the same line? That would be impressive.

Posted by: Retread at April 09, 2014 10:54 AM (gxoxj)

212 At the bottom of her plastic temporary tattoo is the large signature of one John Hancock. You know, John Hancock, famous signatory of the Constitution... except he didn't sign the Constitution at all. --- *scoffs* John Hancock... It's HERBIE Hancock!

Posted by: Thomas Callahan III at April 09, 2014 10:55 AM (APuJ7)

213 All on the same line? That would be impressive. Posted by: Retread at April 09, 2014 02:54 PM (gxoxj) Depends on how small the font is.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 10:55 AM (PYAXX)

214 I'd rather have that "circus fat" Kirstie Alley than Julia Doofus.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 02:53 PM (m9qVG)

perfect wingman, right there.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 10:55 AM (x3YFz)

215 all I will say is this: there is genuinely no understanding the mind of a leftist, especially one who thinks he's an artist.

Posted by: mallfly at April 09, 2014 10:55 AM (bJm7W)

216 She did play a good yuppie scrunt in "Christmas Vacation." I don't know why, but I got the distinct feeling she wasn't acting.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 10:55 AM (NKBxV)

217 Fran Drescher or Julia Dryfus? It didn't move for either of them. I'll take Leah Remini, even the new, fat Leah Remini over either of those two.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (7ObY1)

218 The very same! Don't you know that's where he got his journalistic bona fides? Doing album reviews for Rolling Stone. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 02:48 PM (4df7R) Seems about right. Hell, he should be writing speeches for TFG.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (da5Wo)

219 >>>Fran Drescher or Julia Dryfus? >>> Either way, ball gag is your friend.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (Py3Xj)

220 This is like watching a car wreck. Got the Ft Hood memorial on FNC. Dear Leader yet to speak. I wonder who he'll give his shout-outs too.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 02:54 PM (o7LFs)



Did he bring t-shirts this time?   Or was this Fort Hood murder spree less important than the Tuscon   Loughner shooting spree because   no   Demonrat   slags    were shot this time,   thus making themselves useful   pawns?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (4df7R)

221 I can't read cursive. Why would they do it in cursive? That's retarded sir.

Posted by: Rachel Jeantel at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (pgQxn)

222 Did they photo shop her horns?

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (bitz6)

223 Yeah, you bring up a good point, Allen.

Posted by: Retread at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (gxoxj)

224 226 She did play a good yuppie scrunt in "Christmas Vacation." I don't know why, but I got the distinct feeling she wasn't acting. --- Hey, Griswold, where are you gonna put that tree?

Posted by: Emasculated Yuppie at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (APuJ7)

225 All on the same line? That would be impressive. Posted by: Retread at April 09, 2014 02:54 PM (gxoxj) ------ ..... ahem.... AROUND

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 10:56 AM (nELVU)

226 I'm curious. Fran Drescher or Julia Dryfus? Neither.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (NKBxV)

227 183?
t9?

"Shield Maiden. Married one. Awesome."

Both of mine were. Fighters. Pretty as a picture, too. I have been very lucky.

Posted by: backhoe at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (ULH4o)

228

stringer davis, thanks for the correction.

I'll try to remember that

 

So...it's  ok to point out that it's "n'est-ce pas"?

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (JtwS4)

229 OK, I finally took a peek at Ms. Louis-Dreyfus.

Yeah, no--a body double for sure, head grafted on.

And the erroneous John Hancock is the ONLY signature??? WTF?

Of course that's not the entire document.

So, Ace is right.  Goofy head sock wearing graphic designer came up with this.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (OZmbA)

230 Another movie classic: getting punched in the face sounds just like snapping a wet towel.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 02:52 PM (4df7R)

 

 

---------------------------------------------

 

 

Another movie classic:  A piston engine  sound on a turbine-powered helicopter.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (o7LFs)

231 Sarah Silverman is another one who will soon be resorting to stunts like this to keep her fans who thinks she's still hot. She looks like a young Joan Rivers.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (m9qVG)

232 I reject, categorically, the notion that Julia Louis-Dreyfus is sexy in any way. No. Just. No. Oh. Wait. Isn't her daddy a billionaire? Hottest woman on the planet!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (mf5HN)

233 I'd have to argue Lucille Ball or Carol Burnett.

My seconds, sir, shall call upon your seconds.

Posted by: Fannie Brice at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (xq1UY)

234 Movie classic: Tires squeal on a gravel road. - Movie classic: Private dick or reporter breaks into bad guy's office and immediately finds incriminating document. Hell, I can't find a pen in my own office half the time.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 09, 2014 10:57 AM (XUKZU)

235 Does she have the Encyclopedia. Britannica tattooed on her meat curtains?  Cause I totes wanna see that.

Posted by: Fritz at April 09, 2014 10:58 AM (UzPAd)

236 When I wanna see a 51 year old woman naked, I wanna see her getting run through by a dozen black guys.

Posted by: The Internet at April 09, 2014 10:58 AM (y9dfJ)

237 Not worth the taint it's printed on.....

Posted by: Eric Holder while I Fucker at April 09, 2014 10:58 AM (pQJEV)

238 ot (good, drudge covering the ranch story) ot 2 (Munich v ManU & Atletico Madrid v Barcelona - LIVE)

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 10:58 AM (IXrOn)

239 I have no giveashit for here one way or the other. 

Unless she were to pose on the cover of Rolling Turd with my Constitution on her back.  Then I'd be inclined to think she's an idiot.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 10:58 AM (x3YFz)

240 Why is it that lefties who hate the Constitution, and are always trying to ignore it, if not destroy it, use it for props like this?

It's like having a library of books you've never read. It makes you look like you might be an avid reader, and understand literature without actually being an avid reader and understanding literature.

Posted by: Travis McGee at April 09, 2014 10:58 AM (xtby2)

241 I tried to hit it, but suffered shrinkage.

Posted by: George Costanza at April 09, 2014 10:58 AM (wAQA5)

242

As an aside, I always thought she was kind of hot.

 

She is in some Woody Allen movie where she gives head (nothing is shown) but I thought it was awesome.

Posted by: prescient11 at April 09, 2014 10:59 AM (tVTLU)

243 Another movie classic: A piston engine sound on a turbine-powered helicopter.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 02:57 PM (o7LFs)



Cocking the hammer sound effect...



...on a GLOCK!!!



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 10:59 AM (GQ8sn)

244 Fran Drescher's fake voice for the Nanny show actually hid her beauty quite well. If you ever to bother to look twice, you'd see she's quite a natural beauty.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 10:59 AM (m9qVG)

245 I hit it, and it didn't look anything like that.

Posted by: Cosmo Kramer at April 09, 2014 10:59 AM (wAQA5)

246 If we lined up everyone commenting on this thread and took the same picture of each, who would look better than Julia? Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 02:47 PM (OZmbA) I would! If you put me behind Kate Upton. Which I totally volunteer for, if anyone's askin'.

Posted by: jwpaine @PirateBallerina at April 09, 2014 10:59 AM (2oU2+)

247 MWR, Beth, AtC....no turning back now. Just booked the plane flight home from the MoMee.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 09, 2014 10:59 AM (da5Wo)

248 I bet the art director at RS saw that there were a bunch of sigs at the bottom, and thought that would screw it up - and said just put JH's sig there. Besides not realizing it wasn't on there - he probably didn't know why the sig is so famous to start with.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 10:59 AM (pgQxn)

249 I'm less concerned about the historical accuracy of the tat than I am about the two apparent meteorite hits in the lower-back/upper-ass area.

Posted by: Scott M at April 09, 2014 11:00 AM (AdBfq)

250 Speaking of movies.  I thought I saw a trailer on tv with Kate Upton in a movie  with a couple of  leftist airhead actresses.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:00 AM (o7LFs)

251 Well, I loved "Seinfeld" and thought JLD was great as Elaine. I also liked JLD's show "New Christine Whatever." The humor was self-deprecating, that is, the writers made as much (or more) fun of lefty behavior as anything else. Haven't seen "Veep" because I don't have HBO. It sounds like more of the same....maybe. Which makes it too much of the same.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 09, 2014 11:00 AM (dfYL9)

252 Andrew kickin' it on a skateboard is way cooler.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 11:00 AM (IXrOn)

253 Did he bring t-shirts this time? Or was this Fort Hood murder spree less important than the Tuscon Loughner shooting spree because no Demonrat slags were shot this time, thus making themselves useful pawns? Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 02:56 PM (4df7R) And did he do an inappropriate for the occasion greeting like he did in Boston after the marathon bombing?

Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 11:00 AM (659DL)

254 I'm less concerned about the historical accuracy of the tat than I am about the two apparent meteorite hits in the lower-back/upper-ass area. ----- Cup Holders

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 11:00 AM (nELVU)

255 I'll tell you where to tattoo the Bill of Rights.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (DrC22)

256 Cocking the hammer sound effect... ...on a GLOCK!!! ---------- If I ever handled a gun that was as rickety as most guns in movies/tv sound I sure as hell wouldn't fire it.

Posted by: Adam at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (Aif/5)

257 When I wanna see a 51 year old woman naked, I wanna see her getting run through by a dozen black guys. What are we supposed to do? Stand and watch?

Posted by: Donkey and Midget at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (pgQxn)

258 MWR, Beth, AtC....no turning back now. Just booked the plane flight home from the MoMee. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 09, 2014 02:59 PM (da5Wo) Stop microtriggeragressioning me!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (mf5HN)

259 Movie classic: Private dick or reporter breaks into bad guy's office and immediately finds incriminating document. Hell, I can't find a pen in my own office half the time.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 09, 2014 02:57 PM (XUKZU)



Right?   I mean, my office is full of random piles of paper.  I    can find things because I remember which pile they're in.  Anyone trying to find anything in MY office would be faced with a daunting task.



DETECTIVE:  WTF?   Why does she have six copies of the 1969 interstate compact between NH and VT?   And the fuck?   Who   prints out    Department-wide   emails    about   winter parking bans    from 2011 AND KEEPS THEM?


I refuse to believe that movie bad guys are more organized than me.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (4df7R)

260
...on a GLOCK!!!

Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 02:59 PM (GQ8sn)

lol... love that part in movies.  Glock.  "click click" 
"wtf?"

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (x3YFz)

261 Goddamn IE

Posted by: Donkey and Midget at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (pgQxn)

262 Donkey and midget, please report to the barrel.

Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (GQ8sn)

263 I hit it, and she said I was the best she ever had.

Posted by: Newman at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (wAQA5)

264 I guess they are riffing of the 'just sign your john hancock here'?

Posted by: willow at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (nqBYe)

265 The Obama Prezinitzy can be found squeezing out of her old airbrushed anus.

He fundamentally transformed 'merica with a big hefty shit.

Posted by: Eloquent Idiot at April 09, 2014 11:01 AM (pQJEV)

266 Movie classic: all motorcycles sound like Harleys, even the 125cc motocross ones with the knobby tires and high fenders.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (0HooB)

267

Rolling Stone

The magazine for smart, educated, socially-aware young Americans who are over 60 years old and who are also as dumb as chicken farts.


This is why we love you, ace.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (4df7R)

268 That's kind of the perfect comment to cause emBarrelling.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (mf5HN)

269
This stuff hasn't been original since Demi Moore posed pregonude.  at that wasn't even great.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (hUf/y)

270 I denounce myself. IE keeps capping anything I put in brackets. FUCK YOU MOZILLA

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (pgQxn)

271 lol... love that part in movies. Glock. "click click"
"wtf?"

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 03:01 PM (x3YFz)



And the slide not locking back leaving the villain confused and surprised when he pulls the trigger and the mag is already empty.



Priceless!


Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (GQ8sn)

272 Italic Donkey and Midget?

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (bitz6)

273 Ah, someone finally pulls the absolute moral authority card. No one can criticize Julia unless they look better than her on a magazine cover. (The thing is, that's not really her on the cover; it's an airbrush-edited photo of her.)

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (m9qVG)

274 *adds 'dumb as chicken farts' to repertoire*

Posted by: obamuh at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (rNS5g)

275 B-A-R-R-E-L spells MOOOON.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 11:02 AM (nELVU)

276 Cocking the hammer sound effect... ...on a GLOCK!!! Racking the slide on a pump shotgun, saying, "Let's go!", and racking it again with no shell ejecting.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:03 AM (NKBxV)

277 Depends on how small the font is. Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 09, 2014 02:55 PM (PYAXX) "You're name on a grain of rice."

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 09, 2014 11:03 AM (HDwDg)

278 Posted by: The Internet at April 09, 2014 02:58 PM (y9dfJ) really?

Posted by: willow at April 09, 2014 11:03 AM (nqBYe)

279 Seriously? I typo'd again. WTF is up this week. That's it I'm going back to bed.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 09, 2014 11:03 AM (HDwDg)

280 267 When I wanna see a 51 year old woman naked, I wanna see her getting run through by a dozen black guys.



Would a half-black gay-guy do?

Posted by: Barry Obama at April 09, 2014 11:04 AM (pQJEV)

281 I hit it, and she said I was the best she ever had. Posted by: Newman at April 09, 2014 03:01 PM (wAQA5) I had no choice. You were blackmailing me with my mail. And, I needed new shoes.

Posted by: Elaine at April 09, 2014 11:04 AM (IXrOn)

282 Julie Louis-Dreyfus or Richard Dreyfus?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 09, 2014 11:04 AM (8ZskC)

283 MWR, Beth, AtC....no turning back now. Just booked the plane flight home from the MoMee.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 09, 2014 02:59 PM (da5Wo)



WOO HOO!



Also, I enjoy that you have now separated my dual personas into   two separate entities.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (4df7R)

284 No. I don't want to see ANY film with Woody Allen-much less playing an aged pimp.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (XyM/Y)

285 How about a tattoo of the Magna Carta Libertatum on her FUPA?

Lay back and think of England, Love.

Posted by: Fritz at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (UzPAd)

286 "OT: Rep. Elijah Cummings is pinning the McCarthyism label on Rep.
Darrell Issa in the ongoing fight between the two Oversight Committee
leaders about the IRS targeting scandal from last year."

When the race card is the only card left in the deck, they'll play it, of course.

Issa, the prat, has no comprehension of this.

So Cummings deliberately launched into a leather-lunged blusterfest just as Issa was shutting the committee hearing down.

Issa had the choice of either:

(a) Letting the hearing continue, allowing Cummings to rant at length, and creating the optics of a guy desperately filibustering to protect a criminal witness, or,

(b) Closing things down anyway and letting Cummings allege TEH RAYCISS ELEVENTY, and creating the optics of Republicans "keepin' a brutha down".

Of course Issa went with (b), got savaged by the Democratic auxiliaries in the media, and ended up issuing a hat in hand apology to Cummings! That's what led the damn news cycle. Not Lerner's repeated invocations of the Fifth.

Issa needs to be removed from that chairmanship pronto, and replaced by Gowdy. Gowdy is legally savvy and media savvy. Issa is neither.

Posted by: torquewrench at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (noWW6)

287 Right? I mean, my office is full of random piles of paper. I can find things because I remember which pile they're in. Anyone trying to find anything in MY office would be faced with a daunting task. DETECTIVE: WTF? Why does she have six copies of the 1969 interstate compact between NH and VT? And the fuck? Who prints out Department-wide emails about winter parking bans from 2011 AND KEEPS THEM? I refuse to believe that movie bad guys are more organized than me. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 03:01 PM (4df7R) For years and years I had some pretty confidential documents that I kept in a folder on my desk marked "Medical Bills". Because when you work in a personal injury firm, no one will think of looking there.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (mf5HN)

288 alright i better take a break for today.

Posted by: willow at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (nqBYe)

289 Julie Louis-Dreyfus or Richard Dreyfus? Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 09, 2014 03:04 PM (8ZskC) ---- Lights on or off??? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (nELVU)

290 wait... chickens fart?

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (x3YFz)

291 Sounds like one of those fake made up names.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 11:05 AM (bitz6)

292 Another one: Bad guy running forward into a room gets shot with a shotgun and is propelled backward about 50 feet.

Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 11:06 AM (659DL)

293 Posted by: willow at April 09, 2014 03:03 PM (nqBYe)



Your disgust is kinda hawt!

Posted by: Captain Fap Fap at April 09, 2014 11:06 AM (pQJEV)

294 I don't know why people think pornstars are bad actresses. I've seen porn, and I'd swear they were really having sex!

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 11:06 AM (ZshNr)

295 Is this the pen holder down here?

Posted by: Dang at April 09, 2014 11:06 AM (MNq6o)

296 Trust Rolling Stone to be so dumb they don't even know where to put their John Hancock.

Posted by: jwpaine @PirateBallerina at April 09, 2014 11:07 AM (2oU2+)

297 Bad guy running forward into a room gets shot with a shotgun and is propelled backward about 50 feet.. Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 03:06 PM (659DL) ---- Y'all forgot skidding in cars with antilock brakes.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 11:07 AM (nELVU)

298 (The thing is, that's not really her on the cover; it's an airbrush-edited photo of her.) Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 03:02 PM (m9qVG) Next up, Skype filters. You can be whoever you want to be. Realtime rotoscoping/image editing. Like our avatars in MMORPG's.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: Munich ( 0 ) ManU ( 0 ) at April 09, 2014 11:07 AM (IXrOn)

299 I don't know what this means but it's funny

Also works on a tombstone. 
*srednop*

Posted by: HR at April 09, 2014 11:07 AM (ZKzrr)

300 71 Not be rude, but I wouldn't mind "whiting out" that John Hancock for her, n'est pas?

Posted by: ace at April 09, 2014 02:31 PM
==========

Moving on up from ol' Ann Althouse, eh?

Posted by: RoyalOil at April 09, 2014 11:07 AM (VjL9S)

301 She's a Jewish 10. (a 5 who's daddy is worth 5 billion)

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (8MjqI)

302 Also, I enjoy that you have now separated my dual personas into two separate entities.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 03:05 PM (4df7R)


Which one of you is the "evil" one?



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (GQ8sn)

303 Is this the pen holder down here? It's the ink pot.

Posted by: t-bird at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (FcR7P)

304 I don't know why people think pornstars are bad actresses. I've seen porn, and I'd swear they were really having sex! Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 03:06 PM (ZshNr) I know, right!?

Posted by: Game of Thrones producers at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (659DL)

305 ::: peeks in ::: ::: goes back out :::

Posted by: grammie winger at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (oMKp3)

306 Both people are on cell phones. One hangs up/call is cut off. The other side hears a dial tone.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (mf5HN)

307 Racking the slide on a pump shotgun, saying, "Let's go!", and racking it again with no shell ejecting.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 03:03 PM (NKBxV)

 

 

-----------------------------------------

 

 

Racking the bolt on any weapon when they're about to shoot.  WTF?  You mean you've gotten yourself in the middle of this situation and you don't already have a round in the chamber?

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (o7LFs)

308 302 Another one: Bad guy running forward into a room gets shot with a shotgun and is propelled backward about 50 feet.

Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 03:06 PM (659DL)



Another one:   Good guy running away from imminent explosion is thrown head over heels into a car when the bomb goes off   and remains uninjured, instead of being turned into a skinbag full of meat jelly.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (4df7R)

309 I said I wanted HONEY MUSTARD sauce with my chicken farts! NOT BBQ SAUCE!!!

Posted by: Crazed Person at Drive Thru Window with Gun at April 09, 2014 11:08 AM (pgQxn)

310 292 Julie Louis-Dreyfus or Richard Dreyfus?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 09, 2014 03:04 PM (8ZskC)


Which one has the beard?


Will there be snacks?


Can I keep my shoes on?

Posted by: Useful FuckTard at April 09, 2014 11:09 AM (pQJEV)

311 Which one of you is the "evil" one? Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 03:08 PM (GQ8sn) ---- ..... yes

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 11:09 AM (nELVU)

312 Another one: Bad guy running forward into a room gets shot with a shotgun and is propelled backward about 50 feet.

Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 03:06 PM (659DL)

The zombie movies where everyone gets headshots with pistols at 100 yards, but when fighting the Bad Guy, can't hit shit 10 feet away.  (see:  The Walking Dead)

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:09 AM (x3YFz)

313 @276 Movie classic: all motorcycles sound like Harleys,

Right on. Watched Magnum Force last night.
Guzzis transform into 500cc Triumphs!
And you know what they both sounded like?

Course, now, in the era of the rumbling Tesla, none of that matters...

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 09, 2014 11:09 AM (xq1UY)

314 Which one of you is the "evil" one?

Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 03:08 PM (GQ8sn)



*sweet smile*   That's our secret.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:09 AM (4df7R)

315 And did he do an inappropriate for the occasion greeting like he did in Boston after the marathon bombing?
Shoot! Where did I leave my notes?!
Oh, here they are.

Posted by: president o'bumbles at April 09, 2014 11:10 AM (hn5v5)

316 319 I said I wanted HONEY MUSTARD sauce with my chicken farts! NOT BBQ SAUCE!!!




How 'bout a side of steaming hot Freedom Flaps!

Posted by: Julia's Labia at April 09, 2014 11:10 AM (pQJEV)

317 Same rifle sound effect used in every TV show and movie for 70 years.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:10 AM (OZmbA)

318 What about car tires screeching and squealing driving in dirt?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (pgQxn)

319 Bevis and Butthead would have a field day with this, for weeks. Seriously, does anyone still read print magazines like the Rolling Stone? I remember getting disgusted with them back in the mid-90's and swearing I'd never read another one because they had gone from a lame music industry mag to a political hack joint. I see their shit has only rolled downhill since then. And yeah, I'd hit it. Saw a few episodes of Seinfeld, but it was never a habit, she was cute but not to bright.

Posted by: Gmac-Pondering the coming implosion, and hoping its 404care at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (baiNQ)

320 skinbag full of meat jelly. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 03:08 PM (4df7R) lol! Wiping away laughter tears.

Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (659DL)

321 They would've tattooed this on her Constaintution, but that was already taken with "Brad Hall Slept Here".

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (SA5bC)

322 The zombie movies where everyone gets headshots with pistols at 100 yards, but when fighting the Bad Guy, can't hit shit 10 feet away. (see: The Walking Dead)

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 03:09 PM (x3YFz)



I love how everyone in the walking dead became a crack shot almost immediately; even people who'd never handled a gun before.  I'm sorry, but I find it hard to believe that ickle Carl could handle that big ass gun   well enough to be blowing holes   between zombie eyes right off the bat.   He'd be more likely to break his damn nose.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (4df7R)

323 Which one of you is the "evil" one?



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 03:08 PM (GQ8sn)

*sweet smile* That's our secret.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 03:09 PM (4df7R)



*visions of MWR/Beth in a long hotel corridor*



"Come play with us!"



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (GQ8sn)

324 Hey, don't blame me.
How did my name get dragged into this?
I keep telling you: I'm innocent!

Posted by: Rene Dreyfus at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (xq1UY)

325 Fran Drescher then: Hittable. Fran Drescher now: Looks like she's got gremlins pulling her face taut. Pass.

Posted by: joncelli at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (RD7QR)

326 Racking the bolt on any weapon when they're about to shoot. WTF? You mean you've gotten yourself in the middle of this situation and you don't already have a round in the chamber?

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 03:08 PM (o7LFs)

...and everyone asks me why I don't enjoy action movies.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:11 AM (x3YFz)

327 Seriously, does anyone still read print magazines like the Rolling Stone? I do. Prepper magazines, paid for with cash for op sec. I'm afraid to read them online (waves to the NSA) This is not America anymore.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:12 AM (7ObY1)

328 Cars jumping ramps, rivers, canals, off buildings, other cars, and still operating after their suspension would have broken, frames bent, etc.

Some even come out with no body damage.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:12 AM (OZmbA)

329 IT'S A TRAP!

Posted by: Alfred Dreyfus at April 09, 2014 11:12 AM (8ZskC)

330 Course, now, in the era of the rumbling Tesla, none of that matters... I want to hear a Tesla that sounds like George Jetson's flying car. I mean, they really should make some sort of noise.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 11:12 AM (0HooB)

331 Seriously, does anyone still read print magazines like the Rolling Stone?

IIRC, they claimed they sold 13,000 copies on newsstands when they put the Boston Marathon tiny-dicked jihadi on the cover.  Teenage girls thought he was a boy band or something.

Posted by: HR at April 09, 2014 11:12 AM (ZKzrr)

332 "Another movie classic: A piston engine sound on a turbine-powered helicopter."

I of course completely broke the Hollyweird habit many years ago, and this story helps illustrate why:

Friend of mine went to see _Avatar_, and came back and said, "Funny thing. There are these super high tech assault aircraft the humans fly, and James Cameron made them sound exactly like Vietnam War-era Huey helicopters."

Yep. Because that clumsy allegory about evil imperialism needed to be hammered home with even more boneheaded brute force.

Posted by: torquewrench at April 09, 2014 11:12 AM (noWW6)

333 Annoying CGI stunts.  Annoying CGI wild animals.  Annoying CGI.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:13 AM (OZmbA)

334 ame rifle sound effect used in every TV show and movie for 70 years. Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 03:10 PM (OZmbA) ---- Hers another.... and this is Mrs Fixers movie peeve. Ever notice that in the movies or on TV the windows NEVER NEVER EVER have screens????

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 11:13 AM (nELVU)

335 Another    unrealistic    movie trope:   someone     makes a doctor's   appointment,   doesn't have to wait six months, and actually GETS TO SEE A DOCTOR.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:14 AM (4df7R)

336 I'm afraid to read them online (waves to the NSA) This is not America anymore. Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 03:12 PM (7ObY1) You're already on a list.

Posted by: RWC at April 09, 2014 11:14 AM (fWAjv)

337 I hate sci-fi movies where the lasers make sounds.

Posted by: @JohnTant at April 09, 2014 11:14 AM (eytER)

338 (Still 0-0 in Munich, btw)

Posted by: HR at April 09, 2014 11:14 AM (ZKzrr)

339 For once, I'd like to see a phone ring on a TV show where it's a telemarketer that has absolutely nothing to do with advancing the plot.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 09, 2014 11:15 AM (8ZskC)

340 Why no pearl necklace and drool cup?

Posted by: Chaos the Other Dark Meat at April 09, 2014 11:15 AM (oDCMR)

341 I've never seen Avatar. Missed it in the theaters, and by the time it was out in other formats, I was so fucking sick of hearing about it, I felt like I'd seen the movie ten times and hated it.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 11:15 AM (ZshNr)

342 ...and everyone asks me why I don't enjoy action movies. Ever caught yourself yelling out "Reload!"?

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:15 AM (NKBxV)

343 How could we forget the Wilhelm Scream?

Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 11:15 AM (659DL)

344 349 For once, I'd like to see a phone ring on a TV show where it's a telemarketer that has absolutely nothing to do with advancing the plot. Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 09, 2014 03:15 PM (8ZskC) Seinfeld. Aaaaand we've come full circle.

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:15 AM (bCEmE)

345 For once, I'd like to see a phone ring on a TV show where it's a telemarketer that has absolutely nothing to do with advancing the plot.

Beerfest.

Posted by: HR at April 09, 2014 11:15 AM (ZKzrr)

346 Murder suspects casually going about their jobs while being interrogated by homicide detectives. Even better, casually walking away from said detectives while being interrogated.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (7ObY1)

347 There has never been a horror film where if some girl is running she doesn't fall down.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (XyM/Y)

348 I'm with Harry Reid on this one. The fact that the Koch brothers are the only thing that is keeping The Rolling Stone in business, is evidence of their evil.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (BZAd3)

349 I saw a movie about meteors the other night that had windblown dust on the moon. I didn't finish it for it never seemed to end.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (l3vZN)

350 I'm probably in the minority, but I think she hysterically funny in Seinfeld. Yes, obviously the writing was key, but she still rose above the other female characters who appeared in that show (with the two "mom" characters close seconds), so I think the gal has talent as a comedic actress.

Posted by: Y-not from her sick bed at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (zDsvJ)

351 This is what you do when you want some attention for your no talent ass.

Posted by: ALH at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (btTLZ)

352 What about car tires screeching and squealing driving in dirt? Tires will screech on red clay. I've seen/heard it. Laid down a black mark, too. A small one, but still...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (0HooB)

353 I love how everyone in the walking dead became a crack shot almost immediately; even people who'd never handled a gun before. I'm sorry, but I find it hard to believe that ickle Carl could handle that big ass gun well enough to be blowing holes between zombie eyes right off the bat. He'd be more likely to break his damn nose.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 03:11 PM (4df7R)

Yup.  Dude that's never held a gun is suddenly headshotting at 200 meters.  THEN... when it comes time to shoot at the living, it's suddenly spray n pray.

300 rounds, not a single one on target.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (x3YFz)

354 ...ot (good, drudge covering the ranch story)

**

First Amendment Area????


What kind *%$#$^#@$%(^@%*@@ shit is that???

Posted by: dananjcon at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (NpXoL)

355 Classic movie trope:  all bedsheets are shaped like an L, to reveal the leading man's muscley chest while demurely hiding the heroine's chesticles.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:16 AM (4df7R)

356 I figured RS was online only now.

Posted by: toby928© at April 09, 2014 11:17 AM (QupBk)

357 You're already on a list. I'm sure I am, but I'm trying to keep my number of ThoughtCrimes down so I can get a top bunk in the camps.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:17 AM (7ObY1)

358 It's in my hair, on by breasts, all over the place. Talk about a loaded gun... Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 09, 2014 02:47 PM (IXrOn) I could stand to hear more.

Posted by: physics geek at April 09, 2014 11:17 AM (MT22W)

359 Heh...I remember one 4th of July edition of the Orlando Sentinel (written by, you know, real journalists) with the headline "We The People..." Of course they wouldn't admit they made a mistake, they claimed that their point was that the Constitution celebrates America.

Posted by: WTP at April 09, 2014 11:17 AM (kZVsz)

360 Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 09, 2014 03:12 PM (0HooB) Swoooosh!

Posted by: Hrothgar at April 09, 2014 11:17 AM (vRCaC)

361 There has never been a horror film where if some girl is running she doesn't fall down. Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 03:16 PM (XyM/Y) Or a dark place that no sane person would go into, that they just have to go into.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 09, 2014 11:18 AM (BZAd3)

362 This is what you do when you want some attention for your no talent ass.

*srednop*

Posted by: HR at April 09, 2014 11:18 AM (ZKzrr)

363 Classic movie trope:   There is no such thing as darkness,  just blue light.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:18 AM (4df7R)

364 There has never been a horror film where if some girl is running she doesn't fall down.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 03:16 PM (XyM/Y)

lol... you can almost call it.  branch.  trip.  fall.  yup.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:18 AM (x3YFz)

365 Ever since Rock of Ages was released as a feature-length film, the editors at Rolling Stone think they are relevant again.

Posted by: the Butcher at April 09, 2014 11:18 AM (++HCY)

366 I'd like to see Tom Cruise get beat up and keep the breaks, cuts and bruises for once and swell up like a baloon and walk around for the rest of the movie with swollen lips and drool dripping out of them.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:19 AM (OZmbA)

367 Backward, if I accused you of using LSD, you'd take that the right way, right?

Mine's a Dana 44 tagged "Packard Twin Traction." Will screech on ice.
Wouldn't have it any other way.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 09, 2014 11:19 AM (xq1UY)

368 Classic movie trope: There is no such thing as darkness, just blue light. Long shadows at 3:00 am.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:19 AM (NKBxV)

369
Or a dark place that no sane person would go into, that they just have to go into.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 09, 2014 03:18 PM (BZAd3)

A hairy teethy ghost just ate my boyfriend.  But what's in this unlit cellar?

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:20 AM (x3YFz)

371 lol... you can almost call it. branch. trip. fall. yup. Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 03:18 PM (x3YFz) ----- yeah yeah yeah.... but if there's a brother in the film.... he dies FIRST. RACIST WE MUCH????

Posted by: Reverend Al the Rat at April 09, 2014 11:20 AM (nELVU)

372 Another movie classic:  Falling 60-100 feet onto metal or concrete objects, then getting up  with just a little soreness.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:20 AM (o7LFs)

373 lol... you can almost call it. branch. trip. fall. yup. At least Scary Movie had the decency to parody it.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:20 AM (NKBxV)

374 Is this a thread about nothing? Maybe if one of us were forced to become Ace's butler it would be more believable?

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at April 09, 2014 11:20 AM (hn5v5)

375 Lasers where you can see the tracks of the beams. 100 lb woman kicks 200 lb man and he flies backwards 20 feet - through a window.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 11:20 AM (8MjqI)

376 Guy casually saunters away without a glance backwards as a humongous explosion detonates 20 feet behind him.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:21 AM (7ObY1)

377 There has never been a horror film where if some girl is running she doesn't fall down.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 03:16 PM (XyM/Y)


lol... you can almost call it. branch. trip. fall. yup.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 03:18 PM (x3YFz)



I say it every damn time.   When you are a young woman alone in the house on a dark, spooky night, and all you're wearing is a t-shirt and a pair of bikini briefs, DO NOT go into the cellar to see "what's making that noise."     Just fucking LEAVE!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:21 AM (4df7R)

378 "Finally, I got away from the baddie, phew!" Turns around, looking right into the baddies eyes.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 11:21 AM (ZshNr)

379 Long shadows at 3:00 am. Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 03:19 PM (NKBxV) The movie ''Shane" took that to high art.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 09, 2014 11:21 AM (l3vZN)

380 Racking the bolt on any weapon when they're about to shoot. WTF? You mean you've gotten yourself in the middle of this situation and you don't already have a round in the chamber? Oooh! I like when two people on screen are having a conversation, then at a dramatic moment, there's a jump cut to them continuing the conversation in a car or something. Like the conversation stopped, they did several things in silence like leaving the building, navigating the garage, getting into traffic, then continued the conversation as if nothing had happened in the interim.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:21 AM (qKrH5)

381 Only guys in Red Shirts we've never seen before die in Star Trek.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 11:22 AM (nELVU)

382 Is this a thread about nothing? Maybe if one of us were forced to become Ace's butler it would be more believable?

Posted by: andycanuck at April 09, 2014 03:20 PM (hn5v5)

it started about dreyfuss up there, but she only merits a small bit of mockery.  Actually not worth the time.  Played out.  Like her career.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:22 AM (x3YFz)

383 Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 03:11 PM (x3YFz)

You don't understand.

Racking the slide adds extra power to the round, so the good guy is ensured of killing the bad guy.

It's like another rubber band in your rubber band gun.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 09, 2014 11:23 AM (QFxY5)

384 And, speaking as a 34-stitch McMaster furnace operator, when the HELL will Hollywood start putting tempered glass into those 20th-story sliding doors?

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 09, 2014 11:23 AM (xq1UY)

385 Just fucking LEAVE!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 03:21 PM (4df7R)

Or at least take of the t-shirt.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 09, 2014 11:24 AM (QFxY5)

386 Long shadows at 3:00 am.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 03:19 PM (NKBxV)


The movie ''Shane" took that to high art.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 09, 2014 03:21 PM (l3vZN)



That reminds me of ANOTHER trope that's never made sense to me!   At the   end of every classic western, the hero always rides off into the sunset.  


WTF?   Why are you riding off when the sun's going DOWN?   You're going to end up making camp, like, twenty yards   away    from whatever town/farmhouse/Wild West brothel you've just left.   Shit, just wait until morning!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:24 AM (4df7R)

387 All the undercover cops at a stakeout all wearing the same suits and ties with earpieces. Not conspicuous at all.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 11:24 AM (0HooB)

388 Silenced weapons go "pffft".

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 11:24 AM (nELVU)

389 302 Another one: Bad guy running forward into a room gets shot with a shotgun and is propelled backward about 50 feet. Posted by: Mainah at April 09, 2014 03:06 PM (659DL) Zombie kill of the day.

Posted by: D-Lamp at April 09, 2014 11:24 AM (bb5+k)

390 Ricochet sounds happen in the movies. Not much IRL.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 11:25 AM (Py3Xj)

391

srednop means what in Austrian?

Posted by: ALH at April 09, 2014 11:25 AM (btTLZ)

392 Whatever car the escaping hero steals, it drives like a hot rod.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (ZshNr)

393

Ze Constitution vas written on ze skins of Jews!

Posted by: Hitler at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (3ZtZW)

394 401
srednop means what in Austrian?

Posted by: ALH at April 09, 2014 03:25 PM (btTLZ)



Heeah, take my hand!

Get DOWN!

Posted by: Arnold Schwarzenegger at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (OZmbA)

395 srednop means what in Austrian?

Posted by: ALH at April 09, 2014 03:25 PM (btTLZ)



A type of weasel.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (4df7R)

396 DO NOT go into the cellar to see "what's making that noise." Just fucking LEAVE! Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 03:21 PM (4df7R) Xactly! What are mothers teaching their daughters? Wierd noises in dark places are fun? Sheesh. Do not perpetuate the stereotypes You'll wind up on Twitchy carrying a sign, for cripes sakes! https://tinyurl.com/mrggwcv

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (BZAd3)

397 Black pimps are always funny and whimsical.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (o7LFs)

398 All the undercover cops at a stakeout all wearing the same suits and ties with earpieces. Not conspicuous at all. Car pulls away from curb and makes u turn as soon as bad guy leaves.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (NKBxV)

399 All those laser-y ricochet trails from Heisenberg's Huge Fucking Gun of Deathy Death in the BB finale were added in one by one in post-production.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (7ObY1)

400 Every car in the movie is a Ford.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (8MjqI)

401 Whatever car the escaping hero steals, it drives like a hot rod. --- WTF are you talking about???

Posted by: Jason Bourne at April 09, 2014 11:26 AM (nELVU)

402 What that old lady said back at the very beginning? Yeah, turns out she was right.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 11:27 AM (ZshNr)

403 Hey Daddy-O, I don't wanna go down to the basement. (The Ramones had a song for every occasion.)

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:27 AM (7ObY1)

404 Black pimps are always funny and whimsical. Huggy Bear FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:27 AM (NKBxV)

405 I'd like to see 'Carrie' on 'Sex and the City' get HPV, Herpes, uncurable Gonorrhea, and anal lesions.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:27 AM (OZmbA)

406 Another movie classic: A piston engine sound on a turbine-powered helicopter. There was a string of Bond movies in, I think, the '70s where every diving aircraft of any type - piston, jet, helicopter, whatever - got the "Stuka siren" sound effect. This is especially noticeable when you spend a lazy weekend binge-watching your Bond collection. So I hear.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 09, 2014 11:28 AM (fOLwM)

407 Ricochet sounds happen in the movies. Not much IRL.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 03:25 PM (Py3Xj)

IRL all you hear is a snap or a buzz.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:28 AM (x3YFz)

408 Rolling Stone is still in business? Do they have more readers than MSNBC has viewers?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 09, 2014 11:28 AM (1Jaio)

409 I saw Srednops open for Slesaew at the Spectrum in '78.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at April 09, 2014 11:28 AM (JtwS4)

410 Every car in the movie is a Ford. Posted by: bergerbilder You must remember the old show "The FBI"! I swear even the airliners in that were Ford Trimotors.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 09, 2014 11:28 AM (l3vZN)

411 Well TFG just pledged to "keep firearms out of the hands of those...who are having trouble." I called the broker and dumped Pfizer.

Anyone from now on who admits "feeling a little down" to a licensed health-care provider deserves whatever they get. Psychological counselors' phones should be ringing off the hook to cancel appointments.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 09, 2014 11:29 AM (xq1UY)

412 A motorcycle never outruns a car, especially in the city.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 11:29 AM (8MjqI)

413 >>A type of weasel. A Peruvian weasel named Beth. Or you might need to PONDER it backwards.

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 09, 2014 11:29 AM (SUKHu)

414 Every    dumpster      in every alley   is full of  cardboard,   foam rubber,    and old shredded paper, and jumping into    said dumpster will result in a perfect, comfy landing for anyone who needs    to make a strategic getaway.     

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:29 AM (4df7R)

415 Silenced weapons go "pffft".

Posted by: fixerupper at April 09, 2014 03:24 PM (nELVU)



Some guy had a bolt rifle with a can this past weekend.  It was a .308 with subsonic ammo.  And it did go "pfffffffft!!!!"

Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:29 AM (GQ8sn)

416

you guys are making me laugh. that really hurts with bronchitis.

what does srednop mean?

Posted by: ALH at April 09, 2014 11:29 AM (btTLZ)

417 T9, heard the buzz. Surprised how flat I could get.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 11:30 AM (Py3Xj)

418 Whatever car the escaping hero steals, it drives like a hot rod.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 03:26 PM (ZshNr)

Right?  apparently there are no Volts about to be comandeered.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:30 AM (x3YFz)

419 Hell No: The Sensible Horror Film. http://youtu.be/olEbwhWDYwM

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 09, 2014 11:30 AM (mf5HN)

420 Worst ever:  Every round that hits a car, fencepost, door, sheetrock, etc, etc. causes a spark.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:30 AM (OZmbA)

421 what does srednop mean?


ponders = srednop

Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:31 AM (GQ8sn)

422 She's not too far from 60.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 09, 2014 11:31 AM (bitz6)

423 Every beat cop is completely, utterly clueless and useless until The Detectives show up. Or SWAT. Or The Feds.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:31 AM (7ObY1)

424 T9, heard the buzz. Surprised how flat I could get.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 03:30 PM (Py3Xj)

You can get really really really small given the proper motivation.  I did.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:31 AM (x3YFz)

425 Ponders.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 11:31 AM (8MjqI)

426 srednop mean? It's sort of like a weasel.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:31 AM (7ObY1)

427 Every dumpster in every alley is full of cardboard, foam rubber, and old shredded paper, and jumping into said dumpster will result in a perfect, comfy landing for anyone who needs to make a strategic getaway. And detectives will not hesitate to climb into a garbage dumpster in their suit instead of waiting for the crime scene people.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:33 AM (NKBxV)

428 I'd like to see 'Carrie' on 'Sex and the City' get HPV, Herpes, uncurable Gonorrhea, and anal lesions.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 03:27 PM (OZmbA)

 

 

----------------------------------------

 

 

That's hawt!

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:33 AM (o7LFs)

429 What's this? eric holder wants gun owners to wear a yellow star??

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:33 AM (m9qVG)

430 If it's raining, the power is going to go out. Every time.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 11:33 AM (ZshNr)

431 No, not exactly. holder wants gun owners to wear an identifying bracelet.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:34 AM (m9qVG)

432

T9, heard the buzz. Surprised how flat I could get.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 03:30 PM (Py3Xj)


 

You can get really really really small given the proper motivation. I did.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 03:31 PM (x3YFz)

 

 

-------------------------------------------

 

 

Yes indeed.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:34 AM (o7LFs)

433 ONE time in my life I've had someone shoot at me.  Not just shooting in my general direction, but directly trying to shoot me specifically.

You'd be surprised that a boot print can become cover.  It can.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:34 AM (x3YFz)

434 >>>There was a string of Bond movies in, I think, the '70s where every diving aircraft of any type - piston, jet, helicopter, whatever - got the "Stuka siren" sound effect.<<<

I'm having Jericho Trumpets installed on my vehicle as we speak.

Posted by: Fritz at April 09, 2014 11:34 AM (UzPAd)

435 Seinfeld? Was at least funny- mostly. A 51 year old part-naked woman might be as well. But these efforts to get attention get old, fast.

Posted by: backhoe at April 09, 2014 11:35 AM (ULH4o)

436 And detectives will not hesitate to climb into a garbage dumpster in their suit instead of waiting for the crime scene people. I wonder how many people were fooled by CSI shows into wanting that job. Seriously, I bet those guys crawl around in crack dens and murder alleys 99% of the time and dress nicely 0.001% of the time.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:35 AM (qKrH5)

437 Snow always gently falls in a pretty, pure white, picturesque manner, blanketing the landscape in a festive sprinkling of glittering whiteness. Just like in real life.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:35 AM (7ObY1)

438 So, not exactly a yellow star like the Nazi Socialists made the Jews wear, but pretty much the same idea. And then those gun-owners wearing those bracelets will soon become former gun-owners.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:36 AM (m9qVG)

439 They go into a house, try to turn on the lights and nothing happens. Instead of getting the heck out they go into to investigate in the dark.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 11:36 AM (XyM/Y)

440 >>>You'd be surprised that a boot print can become cover. It can. I'm sorry but I had to laugh at that.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at April 09, 2014 11:37 AM (Py3Xj)

441 No, not exactly.

holder wants gun owners to wear an identifying bracelet.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 03:34 PM (m9qVG)

 

 

------------------------------------------

 

 

That will prove to be impractical.  We'll have to sew some kind of symbol on our clothes  to make us stand out in a crowd. 

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:37 AM (o7LFs)

442 >>dress nicely 0.001% of the time. With long hair flowing gracefully around their faces.

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 09, 2014 11:37 AM (SUKHu)

443 443 ONE time in my life I've had someone shoot at me. Not just shooting in my general direction, but directly trying to shoot me specifically. You'd be surprised that a boot print can become cover. It can. Damn dude. I've had one pulled and pointed at me (when I inadvertantly interrupted my own car being stolen) but not actually fired at me. The fuck. Or did you mean while you were in the military?

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 11:38 AM (7ObY1)

444

ONE time in my life I've had someone shoot at me. Not just shooting in my general direction, but directly trying to shoot me specifically.

 

Was it exhilarating to be fired at, without result?

Posted by: Winston Churchill at April 09, 2014 11:38 AM (JtwS4)

445 Wasn't ace supposed to have a huge post about Sabo?

Posted by: RWC at April 09, 2014 11:39 AM (fWAjv)

446 When the hero fishtails wildly through an intersection, there will be three corners filled with people and one populately solely by newspaper dispensers. Guess which one he hits?

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 09, 2014 11:39 AM (ZshNr)

447 Damn!  That's one helluva picture.  I have to "check and balance" my trousers right now before Jill sees me.

Posted by: Joe Biden at April 09, 2014 11:39 AM (sWgE+)

448

Action movie fallacies?  We've done this before... probably multiple times.

 

It is odd though, coming in late, and trying to imagine how we got from Julia Louis Dryfuss' backfat constitution to action movie nonsense. 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 09, 2014 11:39 AM (TOk1P)

449 I wonder how many people were fooled by CSI shows into wanting that job. Seriously, I bet those guys crawl around in crack dens and murder alleys 99% of the time and dress nicely 0.001% of the time.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 09, 2014 03:35 PM (qKrH5)

 

 

-----------------------------------------------

 

 

Follow a medical examiner agent/team around for a week.  Nasty job.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:39 AM (o7LFs)

450 ONE time in my life I've had someone shoot at me. Not just shooting in my general direction, but directly trying to shoot me specifically. You'd be surprised that a boot print can become cover. It can. I was walking down a trail with some Boy Scouts, on the way to an Eagle Scout project. There's a river to my right and on the other side is an Indian Reservation. Some *#$! on the other side of the river started popping rounds at us. Luckily there was a small berm to our left and we got behind it. We could hear the rounds ripping through the branches of the trees! Nobody got shot, and I don't honestly know if he was aiming at us or above us, but close enough.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:40 AM (qKrH5)

451 The DM has an article about this.  JLD said she was "in a drunken stupor" when she did this.


Click on the taser-lady story in the sidebar and then the JLD story.


Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:40 AM (GQ8sn)

452 Will Ed Driscoll be quoting the semen references in these comments?

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:40 AM (OZmbA)

453 eric holder wants gun owners to wear a yellow star?? Why did a gastapo uniform flash in front of my eyes for a moment?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 11:40 AM (pgQxn)

454 @342 Avatar stupidity Why not angle drill the unobtanium and avoid the tree completely? Stupid movie.

Posted by: Beagle at April 09, 2014 11:41 AM (sOtz/)

455 Okay, okay. And then whenever there's a major document tattooed on the comic heroine's back, it has the wrong signature.

And, FRUIT CART!!

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 09, 2014 11:41 AM (xq1UY)

456

Every hip reference to the 50's has Dick Clark asking the cool kids to rate the record. 

Posted by: Snedley Kutchenrudder, WLS Morning Drive Guy at April 09, 2014 11:41 AM (nQjHM)

457 421 Well TFG just pledged to "keep firearms out of the hands of those...who are having trouble." I called the broker and dumped Pfizer. Anyone from now on who admits "feeling a little down" to a licensed health-care provider deserves whatever they get. Psychological counselors' phones should be ringing off the hook to cancel appointments. Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 09, 2014 03:29 PM (xq1UY) There's a computer somewhere with a list kept by the insurance companies of who is taking antidepressants. That list is now a de facto gun registration list.

Posted by: joncelli at April 09, 2014 11:42 AM (RD7QR)

458 Why not angle drill the unobtanium and avoid the tree completely?



Fuck that.  I wanted the company to firebomb the whole fucking planet first, THEN go dig out the unobtanium.


Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:42 AM (GQ8sn)

459 I would like to know where I can obtain this box of chicken farts and how much it costs. For a friend, yes, that's it -- I'm inquiring for a friend.

Posted by: zombie at April 09, 2014 11:43 AM (mizYg)

460 Wow. Nearly 500 comments on JLD being naked on Rolling Stone. Any other website and that would be surprising.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 09, 2014 11:44 AM (BZAd3)

461 We're just horny that way.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:44 AM (OZmbA)

462 nice timeline of what lying bitch Lerner is. Vicious left-wing hack. Jim Hoft ‏@gatewaypundit BOMBSHELL! Lois Lerner Emailed About Working For #OFA http://shar.es/TndQZ via @gatewaypundit

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 09, 2014 11:44 AM (ZPrif)

463 neither the Rolling Stone nor Julia Doofus is relevant to my interests.

they deserve each other.

Posted by: redc1c4 at April 09, 2014 11:44 AM (q+fqH)

464 In the movies, randomly clacking on a computer's keyboard furiously while staring intently can grant access to anywhere and anything.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:44 AM (m9qVG)

465 Or did you mean while you were in the military?

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 03:38 PM (7ObY1)

Yes.  And I'm no ranger, SEAL or anything scary.  Just a cog in the big machine.  Let's just call my job "support." 

First gulf war.  Deployed to support air ops.

it's a short story, 3 bad guys, 2 good guys (me being one).  They decided to shoot, we decided to not get shot.  No idea what happened to the bad guys.

Army showed up and they fled.  We cleaned our underwear.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:44 AM (x3YFz)

466 Joncelli, to be fair, there might be one medicated depressive somewhere who's not carrying. Yet. So the list hasn't achieved true "de facto" status.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 09, 2014 11:45 AM (xq1UY)

467 Avatar was Dances With Wolves In Space.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 09, 2014 11:45 AM (BZAd3)

468 JLD -- proving that being born rich doesn't mean you can't also become famous!

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 09, 2014 11:45 AM (ZPrif)

469 Fuck that. I wanted the company to firebomb the whole fucking planet first, THEN go dig out the unobtanium. And make decorations from the charred blue cadavers - with macaroni and glitter. Damn straight. Now Avatar 2 will come back for more PC garbage.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 11:45 AM (pgQxn)

470 ace you gave me a hat tip, when "nip" should have gotten one. What's with two nips on this blog anyway? Oh yeah, boobies.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 09, 2014 11:46 AM (0FSuD)

471 JLD -- the heiress with decent tits for a funny chick.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 09, 2014 11:46 AM (ZPrif)

472 If "firearms" = guns, then what are knives? Pointyarms?

Posted by: zombie at April 09, 2014 11:46 AM (mizYg)

473 There was a time, long ago, when Rolling Stone was about music, MTV showed videos, TLC had stuff you could learn from, and the Weather Channel showed weather.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at April 09, 2014 11:46 AM (zfY+H)

474 It reminds one of Rachel Maddow's assertive statement when schooling John Boehner on live TV: "There's no such thing as The Preamble to The Constitution." Right.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 09, 2014 11:46 AM (aDwsi)

475 And wiggling a lock pick in a lock can magically make a "click" sound and unlock the door.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:46 AM (m9qVG)

476 Avatar was Dances With Wolves In Space. I always wanted to pilot my own pterodactyl.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 11:46 AM (0HooB)

477 JLD -- no glass ceiling for this billionaire's daughter! You go girl!

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 09, 2014 11:47 AM (ZPrif)

478 LOL. That was great, AtC.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 11:47 AM (XyM/Y)

479
....proving that being born rich doesn't mean you can't also become famous!

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 09, 2014 03:45 PM (ZPrif)


I wasn't born rich unless you consider my udders richly entertaining.

Posted by: Kate Upton at April 09, 2014 11:47 AM (nQjHM)

480 And Julia Louise Dreyfuss might be a leftist tool and an idiot but she's always been really cute to me.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at April 09, 2014 11:47 AM (zfY+H)

481 Is there something wrong with me because frankly, if I came home and found her in that state in my bed not only would I not hit that, I'd also kick her out of my bed and not demand that she make me a sammich?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at April 09, 2014 11:48 AM (1hM1d)

482 Action movie fallacies? We've done this before... probably multiple times. It is odd though, coming in late, and trying to imagine how we got from Julia Louis Dryfuss' backfat constitution to action movie nonsense. That is what happens when Ace wanders off & forgets about us.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:48 AM (NKBxV)

483 Did you know pter in pterodactyl is the same root in helicopter?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:48 AM (m9qVG)

484 Firing a gun inside of a car doesn't deafen everyone.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i][/b] at April 09, 2014 11:49 AM (HRlKD)

485
Another one: Good guy running away from imminent explosion is thrown head over heels into a car when the bomb goes off and remains uninjured, instead of being turned into a skinbag full of meat jelly.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at April 09, 2014 03:08 PM (4df7R)







Or the explosion is behind the running hero, and the blast throws him to the left.




Full auto weapons that sound like:

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG*runs out of ammo*CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 09, 2014 11:49 AM (TIIx5)

486 ugly accident but, no one was hurt http://tinyurl.com/m5ae4zj professor driving the minivan had a dash cam to capture it

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: Munich ( 0 ) ManU ( 0 ) at April 09, 2014 11:49 AM (IXrOn)

487 Heh, he said root.

Posted by: Beavis at April 09, 2014 11:49 AM (Py3Xj)

488 Avatar was Dances With Wolves In Space. It was bad enough that he wrote Planet Pocahontas when he was a 14 year old fantasizing about blue boobed bitches to fap to, but then he got a billion dollars to see it through 50 years later. And he got paid for it!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 11:49 AM (pgQxn)

489 Movies where the black president is the best evah and tre wise and such a great leader.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:49 AM (OZmbA)

490 Well, in JLD's defense, her family has only been uber-rich since about 1850. Her great-great grandpa started the Louis Dreyfus Group in 1851. Shipping and commodities magnate. Her father branched out from the family commodities and shipping business into the energy services business. Billions in dirty oil money baby! But she drives a Prius so it's ok.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 09, 2014 11:49 AM (ZPrif)

491 The dog never dies.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 11:49 AM (8MjqI)

492 Firing a gun inside of a car doesn't deafen everyone.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 09, 2014 03:49 PM (HRlKD)

YES!  this!  WHAT?  SPEAK UP?!

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:50 AM (x3YFz)

493 Not that that couldn't happen.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:50 AM (OZmbA)

494 Did you know pter in pterodactyl is the same root in helicopter? No. No I did not. The things l learn here...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 11:50 AM (0HooB)

495 I denounce myself.  RACIST

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:50 AM (OZmbA)

496 In movies, the guys with automatic weapons are always terrible shots, and they are easily get outgunned by the semi-automatic-wielding good guy.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:50 AM (m9qVG)

497 Did you know pter in pterodactyl is the same root in helicopter? Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 03:48 PM (m9qVG) Bullshit! Nobody says ptericopter. Nobody.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 09, 2014 11:50 AM (BZAd3)

498 The dog never dies.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 03:49 PM (8MjqI)



He does in Road Warrior.



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:50 AM (GQ8sn)

499 "Let's just call my job "support." " Damn it, I knew it. You're the Cook behind the chow line slinging the goop onto the trays, aren't you? With a cigar dripping ashes into the food.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 09, 2014 11:50 AM (hDwVv)

500 >>>501 The dog never dies. Ahem.

Posted by: Old Yeller at April 09, 2014 11:51 AM (Py3Xj)

501 With long hair flowing gracefully around their faces.

Even when it's 105F in the shade.

Posted by: HR at April 09, 2014 11:51 AM (ZKzrr)

502 the instant the dog dies I turn off the movie and add the director to The List.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:51 AM (x3YFz)

503 Dog dies in "old Yeller"

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:51 AM (OZmbA)

504 The dog never dies. Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 03:49 PM (8MjqI) ----- ** cough cough ***

Posted by: Old Yeller & Marley at April 09, 2014 11:51 AM (nELVU)

505 Imagine how tough life was for JLD, trying to rise to fame and fortune in a sexist world as a oil billionaire's daughter. My heart goes out to her.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 09, 2014 11:51 AM (ZPrif)

506 >>Did you know pter in pterodactyl is the same root in helicopter? And at least one of them is a type of weasel.

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 09, 2014 11:52 AM (SUKHu)

507 Nobody says ptericopter. Nobody. Uh, don't look now but...

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 11:52 AM (pgQxn)

508 In movies, the guys with automatic weapons are always terrible shots, and they are easily get outgunned by the semi-automatic-wielding good guy.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 03:50 PM (m9qVG)



In Austin Powers - Goldmember, there's a scene that's always been hilarious to me.  It's the part where Michael Caine dispatches two henchmen that come at him one at a time, and tells another henchman who doesn't even have a name tag on his uniform what little chance he has against him.  He tells him to just fall down and spare them both the trouble.



Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 11:52 AM (GQ8sn)

509 Damn it, I knew it.

You're the Cook behind the chow line slinging the goop onto the trays, aren't you?

With a cigar dripping ashes into the food.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 09, 2014 03:50 PM (hDwVv)

Worse.  Much much worse.

I was the guy who controlled your pay.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 11:52 AM (x3YFz)

510 NewdAce. Sadly, no sacral dimples this time.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 09, 2014 11:53 AM (0HooB)

511 You're the Cook behind the chow line slinging the goop onto the trays, aren't you?


I'm just a cook.


Posted by: Steve Seagal at April 09, 2014 11:53 AM (GQ8sn)

512 You know, that's what made '24' and some of the more recent cable TV series good.  Things happened that you didn't expect.  They were the anti-cliche shows. 

Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 11:53 AM (OZmbA)

513 Dog dies in "old Yeller" HE DID NOT! He's just sleeping, isn't that right? HE'S JUST SLEEPING!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 09, 2014 11:53 AM (pgQxn)

514 Yes; I know we're done this before. It always makes me laugh. It never gets old. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 09, 2014 11:53 AM (XyM/Y)

515 the instant the dog dies I turn off the movie and add the director to The List. Amen. And to this day I refuse to watch Marley & Me. Never seen it. Never will.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 09, 2014 11:54 AM (NKBxV)

516 I know I am waaaaay late to this thread. I am sure this has already been covered. But RS is pseudo edgy bullshit for hipsters and their parents. And as for Julia Louise Dreyfuss. Yes, Yes I would.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 09, 2014 11:54 AM (igKtt)

517 the instant the dog dies I turn off the movie and add the director to The List.

I do this with books, too. Fuck you, Ivan Turgenev.

Posted by: HR at April 09, 2014 11:55 AM (ZKzrr)

518 heli: greek for spiral (or helikos) pter: greek for wing daktylos: greek for "finger"

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 09, 2014 11:55 AM (m9qVG)

519 Okay, I will add "Where the red Fern Grows" to the list where the dog does die, and renounce myself.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 11:55 AM (8MjqI)

520 "I was the guy who controlled your pay." 4 reelz? No dirty tee shirt and cigar? Howz bout at least needs a shave. No? Another one of my heroes bites the dust. Damn it.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 09, 2014 11:56 AM (hDwVv)

521 If "firearms" = guns, then what are knives? Pointyarms? I like it. Bladed arms? Were they just called arms?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 09, 2014 11:56 AM (qKrH5)

522 The wife and I went to see the Constitution among others things on one of our trips to DC.  We waited in line behind a couple from Germany.  When they got up to it they asked the guard if the case it is in turned over so they could read the other side. 

Posted by: Registered Voter at April 09, 2014 11:56 AM (MZGhy)

523 YES! this! WHAT? SPEAK UP?!

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 03:50 PM (x3YFz)

 

 

-----------------------------------------

 

 

Oh.  I got one:  Having a normal  voiced conversation while riding in a Chinook helicopter.

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:57 AM (o7LFs)

524

If "firearms" = guns, then what are knives?

Pointyarms?

 

I like it. Bladed arms? Were they just called arms?

Posted by: bonhomme at April 09, 2014 03:56 PM (qKrH5)

 

 

------------------------------------------

 

 

I'm so disappointed in both of you.  They're "pointy elbows".  Sheesh. 

Posted by: Soona at April 09, 2014 11:59 AM (o7LFs)

525
501 The dog never dies.







*drool*

Posted by: Hooch at April 09, 2014 12:00 PM (TIIx5)

526 513 Dog dies in "old Yeller" Posted by: Sphynx at April 09, 2014 03:51 PM (OZmbA) Yeah, and I and every other kid in the theater were crying. Mothers were not happy. All 50's kids wanted rabies shots because? Ole Yeller. a remake! http://tinyurl.com/mgspjzs

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 09, 2014 12:02 PM (0FSuD)

527 508 The dog never dies. Posted by: bergerbilder at April 09, 2014 03:49 PM (8MjqI) He does in Road Warrior. Posted by: EC at April 09, 2014 03:50 PM (GQ8sn) And 'I Am Legend.' Hate that fucking part.

Posted by: RWC at April 09, 2014 12:03 PM (fWAjv)

528 And 'I Am Legend.' Hate that fucking part. Oh, man. Me too.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 09, 2014 12:07 PM (7ObY1)

529 Don Shipley, Senior Chief, USN, runs The Navy SEAL Experience (tm).  He takes all comers, old, young, current SEALS... think the class last year had a 60 year old guy run through it.

He's also huge on stolen valor.  Snatches pretenders up by the throat.

I've known him through e-mail for some years now.  I'm AF, had a wimpy job, pushed some troops, went back to job that wasn't sexy.  I never apologize for not being a trigger puller.  Once you join, you go where you're put and do the best job you can.  You don't get to pick.

Chief Shipley is a master of finding shitbags who present themselves as something they're not; wear badges they haven't earned.

Those people are vile.

I have been in the Hall of Heroes.  Alone.  There aren't words to express the enormity of it.

I'm rambling now... eh... sorry.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 12:08 PM (x3YFz)

530 For the record:  I have 4 AFCMs, 3 of which were "showed up to work, did ya?" 1 AFAM which I did earn, and my AFEM and MTI ribbon.  rest of it is garbage.

Posted by: tangonine at April 09, 2014 12:14 PM (x3YFz)

531 Veep is show that has her playing a divorced female vice president who is an unappreciated appendage to the President always trying to horn her way into relevance but being rebuffed as embarrassing and fake. She's supposed to be a bit of a Sarah Palin reference. I'm sure the error is intentional and designed to show her being both ignorant of the constitution and attempting to use it to pander to old fashioned religious and patriotic tea party types who are portrayed as Low Information Voters. This is an older woman doing Tina Fey type stuff.

Posted by: Cackfinger at April 09, 2014 01:44 PM (BR5kP)

532 Rolling Stone The magazine for smart, educated, socially-aware young Americans who are 45 but think they are over 60 years old and idolize their journo professor( who is over 60), and live in San Francisco, AND who are also as dumb as a box of chicken farts, and probably cover video games in the enthusiast press on websites.

Posted by: Cackfinger at April 09, 2014 01:46 PM (BR5kP)

533 I did not realize they were boxing chicken farts. I thought they came in a bag.

Posted by: Teh Most Interesting Man at April 09, 2014 02:11 PM (dTh2r)

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