Ace of Spades HQ

April 28, 2011

Just Noting
— Ace

Obama's greatest victory of the entire past year -- his crowning achievement for the past twelve months in the most powerful office in all the world -- is his celebrated triumph in successfully producing a common form of secondary identification.

As of right now, that's what he's running on: That he, like 88% of all non-incarcerated adults in America, has access to his own personal records.

Look how ineffably pleased with himself he is about all this:

And for the past two nights I've endured Chris Matthews telling me about Obama's "brilliant" "Perry Mason moment," how masterful he was in all of this.

This is what he's doing victory laps on right now. That's what Chris Matthews is praising him to the heavens for. He's grinning like King Shit of Fuck Mountain, and bathing in rapturous applause, because he accomplished something considerably less difficult than opening a Netflix account.

Pardon the word -- are we not treating the President of the United States like a retard? Are we not, perhaps, condescending to him in indulging him like this?

This is his big initiative for the month? He showed a piece of identification?

Years from now, looking back at the "good times," he'll turn to a former adviser and say, "Remember -- remember when I produced the shit out of that birth certificate? Like a Warrior-Poet I made a routine request of a petty bureaucrat for a mundane copy of a run of the mill record. Days of wine and roses that was, days of... Glory."

And his former advisor, who I imagine in chainmail and a Scottish accent, will say, "Aye, fine days indeed, fine days indeed. How the very Heavens shook at our mighty filings and furious paperwork."

That's what he's got. That's what he's managed for 2010-2011.

Six months from now, I hear he's going to announce a "major initiative" to subscribe to Sports Illustrated, and then a "five year plan" to buy a "nice pair of trousers."

Read It All: Andrew McCarthy is indignant that Obama wasted the public's time and the government's money fighting the disclosure of a simple record.

Really good. Read it all.

Thanks to Jim for that.

Posted by: Ace at 09:37 PM | Comments (168)
Post contains 368 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Tasty.

Posted by: Don at April 28, 2011 09:40 PM (IepTQ)

2 Ace is up watching the Royal Wedding. Just admit it baby. It's OK.

Posted by: journolist at April 28, 2011 09:43 PM (iHfo1)

3 I was thinking about this today also. Not one substantive piece of policy has come from this administration since Obamacare. From economic to foreign or even energy, nothing. The Obama Doctrine, ignore it, hope it goes away in the morning.

Posted by: lowandslow at April 28, 2011 09:44 PM (GZitp)

4 "nice pair of trousers." I have my mop ready!

Posted by: David Brooks at April 28, 2011 09:48 PM (jGXQI)

5 Obama is a worthless piece of shit. I hope he goes away forever.

Posted by: Blank at April 28, 2011 09:50 PM (IiMN0)

6 Pardon the word -- are we not treating the President of the United States like a retard? Are we not, perhaps, condescending to him in indulging him like this?

I think I *might* actually get myself in trouble saying what I want to say about that.

Well, I hope Obama is enjoying it while it lasts. Somebody should, given how much damage is resulting.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at April 28, 2011 09:51 PM (bxiXv)

Such pride in his accomplishments.

You know he played with his turds as a kid

Posted by: garrett at April 28, 2011 09:52 PM (sxeDM)

8 ok, that was fucking funny.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at April 28, 2011 09:52 PM (QQztO)

9 HAM ON THE BONE

Posted by: GWAR at April 28, 2011 09:53 PM (sxeDM)

10 Hey, guys -- Ace is back, and slicing like a hammer!

Posted by: cthulhu at April 28, 2011 09:53 PM (kaalw)

11 10 Hey, guys -- Ace is back, and slicing like a hammer!

Damn straight. When he writes like this I'm in awe. It's a freak'n thing of beauty.

Posted by: lowandslow at April 28, 2011 09:57 PM (GZitp)

12 Ace is ... UP all night!

Posted by: Rhonda Shear at April 28, 2011 09:57 PM (vdfwz)

13 Texas is still waiting to hear back from FEMA about our fire disaster.

and I hear there's a war in Libya. Meanwhile, Obama is legally eligible to hold his office.

The funny thing is that if Obama has any legal chance of kicking his opponent off the ballot, even if it's unfair, he will take it. So any complaints about this document seem pretty inconsistent. He'd happily have used just this kind of attack.

Posted by: Dustin at April 28, 2011 09:57 PM (Q3nWV)

14 To be fair, in addition to producing the birth certificate he did flush trillions of dollars down the toilet. Oh... and fuck up our efforts in Afghanistan.

Posted by: Boxy Brown at April 28, 2011 09:58 PM (Y4Fu0)

15 Soon, he hopes to be able to go to the bathroom all by himself, just like a big boy! (And not blow any random Pakistani guys for a line of coke while he's there.)

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at April 28, 2011 10:00 PM (2xfbm)

16 Does the Birth Certificate Production Commemoration get its own national holiday or will it be folded into Black History Month?

Posted by: Cicero at April 28, 2011 10:01 PM (2pc1N)

17 Yaaaayyyyy, Barry got it open!!!

Posted by: Helen Seinfeld at April 28, 2011 10:01 PM (vdfwz)

18 Well, it's not like he can run on his record or anything. But he can navigate the fuck out of a bureaucracy.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 28, 2011 10:05 PM (ENKCw)

19 Obama's greatest victory of the entire past year -- his crowning achievement for the past twelve months in the most powerful office in all the world -- is his celebrated triumph in successfully producing a common form of secondary identification.

Let's see, since about March last year, congress dems have been scared to breath lest it reveal there presence and motivate the masses to unseat them.

In the new year, he has made it pretty easy.
1. I'm an ideologue who believes in socialism.
2. I will not compromise

But to be fair, his major accomplishment is convincing Republicans they would be blamed for a shutdown. So he managed to get most everything he wanted in money until September. Too bad the right and middle hate all the spending and he can't sell that to anyone but the base which intends to vote for him anyway. But he's an ideologue after all, he's not going to change his actions, so, if he can't convince people with words well oh well...

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at April 28, 2011 10:07 PM (vULTR)

20 Ace you have your days and nights mixed up! Or you're in England covering the wedding!

Posted by: curious at April 28, 2011 10:07 PM (k1rwm)

21 Birth certificate -- that's a Peace Prize.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 28, 2011 10:08 PM (ENKCw)

22 Hah! Fuck George Washington Carver and his fucking peanut!!!!!!

Posted by: King Barry I "Piehole" at April 28, 2011 10:09 PM (2pc1N)

Trousers. Now there's a man who knows how to dress for success.

Not like these kids today, always in their dungarees!

Posted by: George Will at April 28, 2011 10:11 PM (sxeDM)

24 Count your blessings, Ace. Members of the WH staff and his Administration have to endure, daily, Preznint Splutnik's peals of laughter and hand clapping as he exits a rest room invites them to, "Look! Look! Come see what I did! And I wiped myself, ALL BY MYSELF!"

Posted by: ya2daup at April 28, 2011 10:11 PM (1Ey1g)

25 You're all a bunch of racist h8ters! Can't a half black man get some credit for my signature "kinetic military action"? Errr... probably best that we continue to ignore that. I did make a large investment to increase oil production, which will undoubtedly create or save hundreds of thousands of jobs... in Brazil. Ummm... I got it! I signed the largest spending cut in history! You bitter climbers need to just get over the fact that it still means that we're spending more this year than last year and on track to do the same for the next ten years! You and all your "math"! Awww... screw it. I sure as hell have a bigger set of vacation slides than any president in history and I think if I keep at it, I may shave a point off my golf game by the end of my second term.

Posted by: Damiano at April 28, 2011 10:12 PM (3nrx7)

26 Blame Bush, says the idiot. Bush never wrote a book that admitted to using cocaine, and the cocaine question DID get brought up, because the jackass making the point, is quoting a question answered by bush during the 2000 election, so point nullified out of his own mouth. Same with the Affirmative Action thing, only to reference the "notorious bad student W." which was ALSO brought up in the 2K elections.

That man is an idiot.

Posted by: Douglas at April 28, 2011 10:15 PM (YKOnu)

27 Bush left office with approval in the 20's because of his spending and nearly losing wars. (That's what it looks like when the people in your party have principles above emotions)

I just wish lefties would give me an honest answer to something....

WHAT IN HELL DOES OBAMA HAVE TO DO/NOT DO TO GET UNDER 40%???

If I was him id get bored and start trying outrageous shit since his wild stuff so far has hardly budged the needle.

-Set the white house on fire and blame it on Trig Palin
-audio tape leak where he sounds like Alec Baldwin/Batman/Mel Gibson
-Murder his wife and the white man she is sleeping with.. (oh wait that wont work)
-Shooting people who don't pay enough taxes
-Drunk drive of a bridge and leave girl/hooker in car (oh wait never mind)
-Have an openly sexual relationship with a Starlet like Scarlet Joahannsen
-Invade Cuba like JFK
-Invade Vietnam like LBJ
-Sell white babies into Chinese slavery (oh wait nvm)

Never mind, based on history it is impossible to get a democrat under 40% except of course if he balanced the budget/paid of the national debt/2$ gas/loyal husband and father/give up golfing for 6 years/meet with dead soldiers families every day/ then joined the party of Lincoln he would be branded a traitor -an uncle tom and become a worldwide Pariah. Politics is easy if you get the right letter by your name.

Posted by: Shiggz at April 28, 2011 10:19 PM (mLAWK)

28 Coming soon to a completely unrelated spending bill... White House Hug Czar, in command of a team of professional huggers and Oval Office greeters.

Posted by: Damiano at April 28, 2011 10:19 PM (3nrx7)

29 This is the most stunning thing about Obama's Presidency. The guy has no victories whatsoever. The Stimulus was a bust. Obamacare was a "big fucking deal" and he greedily grabbed the victory cup by any means wanting to taste that sweet wine only to have it turn to ash in his mouth. Bush got a bigger bump from medicare Part D. Obama has nothing. Is anyone really suppose to give a shit about repealing DADT? He's placed this big bet and listened to these whacky advisers telling him the wins will roll in like a tsunami and Obama is standing on the shore at low tide holding his Birth Certificate talking to Oprah. Wake up and smell the coffee asshole! Clinton did. Your advisers are shit. Every single one of them advises him to do some impossible shit knowing it ain't gonna happen and when it fails, inevitably, their only alternative is do what Bush 43 did, he was reelected. WTF? He's screwed on the economy now. Even if he believes his advisers are right it ain't gonna happen by spring of next year and that's as long as he's got. 12 Months. Obama has 12 months to turn himself into the Biggest Winner and the only thing on his plate with a shot at it is Libya. Good luck with that. If Daffy manages to stay free longer than Saddam did Obama is toast. End of game. He will lose easily.

Posted by: Rocks at April 28, 2011 10:24 PM (th0op)

30 The whole thing looks to me like he was laying under a log (of course) but that he was hoping for a better reveal moment.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 28, 2011 10:25 PM (LGT6p)

31 -Have an openly sexual relationship with a Starlet an actor like Scarlet Joahannsen Kal Penn.

fify

I guess that didn't get him below 40.

Posted by: MrCaniac at April 28, 2011 10:26 PM (eKuOw)

32 He will lose easily.

Never assume that. The man's one enduring strength is to get elected. To much confidence in battle is deadly. Esp. since we don't even know who is running yet. Imagine that we nominate the worst candidate (as far as winning a general) in the lineup, and have to run with that. Whatever Nov2012 will be, easy is not an adjective that I expect to describe it with in future years.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at April 28, 2011 10:35 PM (vULTR)

33 Posted by: Shiggz at April 29, 2011 02:19 AM (mLAWK)

Republicans go that low in the polls because Republicans don't have a problem with saying they don't approve of a Republican. Democrats don't do that with Democrats. Obama could rape a dog in the White House briefing room and Democrats would talk about how much he loves animals. It's not about him it's about supporting the "Cause". Obama basically has the Dems, around 30%, and the left leaning indies, about 10%, at this point. For a Democrat he is in as bad a shape as Bush was in the low 20s.

Posted by: Rocks at April 28, 2011 10:36 PM (th0op)

34 If I told you conspiracy wingnuts once, I've told you a thousand times. There is nothing out of the ordinary on my Birth Certificate. Here

Posted by: Barky The Magnificent at April 28, 2011 10:36 PM (yPTcS)

Obama has been defining success downward for the majority of his life.

He is the end result of a society scarred by the 'soft bigotry of lowered expectations'.

Posted by: Paper at April 28, 2011 10:37 PM (VoSja)

36 Posted by: MikeTheMoose at April 29, 2011 02:35 AM (vULTR)

If he blows it with Libya. If Daffy is sitting holding an umbrella in a car come next spring, he's toast. Even Ron Paul could beat him.

Posted by: Rocks at April 28, 2011 10:39 PM (th0op)

"Look how ineffably pleased with himself he is about all this:"

Awesome use of ineffably. Seriously!

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 28, 2011 10:41 PM (XBM1t)

38 errr...ok. Here

Posted by: Barky The Magnificent at April 28, 2011 10:41 PM (yPTcS)

39 Right at this moment...Obama is ruminating on why his rectum is swollen and tender for no apparant reason.....Ace, you magnificant bastard!

Posted by: Go! at April 28, 2011 10:42 PM (x3jmM)

40 If he blows it with Libya. If Daffy is sitting holding an umbrella in a car come next spring, he's toast.

There is one person's play I can't call; and the unknown could be so big is this case it makes everything murky. I've got a three letter word for you.

Soros

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at April 28, 2011 10:43 PM (vULTR)

41 Is it just me or is he Voldemort incarnate. I almost expect deatheaters to wisk into my room for just uttering (typing) his name.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at April 28, 2011 10:44 PM (vULTR)

42 Nice one, Ace.

The major change in politics in the US is no longer the unusually successful lurch to the left crafted by Obama, Reid, and Pelosi.. No, it's in how much propaganda has migrated from pamphlet status (produced by small groups in secret), to a stunningly contemptuous stream of casually-phrased lies, flowing constantly out of the head of state's mouth, and carried directly to all channels by "journalists."

The political emergence of Trump shows that even the center-left is fearful of what this regime is doing to the Republic.

Posted by: K~Bob at April 28, 2011 10:45 PM (9b6FB)

43 That is a good video from CNN. Obama is well pleased but notice the tiny look of fear on his face right at the end when people don't quite go crazy enough for the gesture of pulling something out of his pocket? He was hoping to get the huge roar like he did when he did with the wiping off his shoulder bit in the South Carolina primary with Hillary but it didn't come. Sweet.

Posted by: Rocks at April 28, 2011 10:45 PM (th0op)

and then a "five year plan" to buy a "nice pair of trousers".

Well, he really does need to get rid of those "mom jeans".

Posted by: gebrauchshund at April 28, 2011 10:48 PM (iYwUw)

Obama is such a fuggin butthole. I wont to see him so sad on election day 2012. Michelle crying about her newly hated country. omg. Anyone else geting stiff?

He is vulnerable. Mama Grizzly needs to finish her media hibernation soon.

Posted by: Flapjackmaka at April 28, 2011 10:49 PM (u8JAM)

46 Fucking Asshole On the Down Low Queer Jerk off sorry if that gets me banned ... I just hate him. But, I do think he smokes the pole. I really do.

Posted by: gesc at April 28, 2011 10:57 PM (8OCEM)

47 Last week i heard Obama learned to drink out of a sippy cup.

HISTORIC!!!

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at April 28, 2011 11:05 PM (54F2e)

48 Obama is an illegitimate dictator. It is not as if some watery tart threw a sword at him or anything.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 28, 2011 11:05 PM (qIHlG)

49 Yes. They treat him as if he were a retarded child.

22 Hah! Fuck George Washington Carver and his fucking peanut!!!!!!

Think about this one: We have the first black president and do you think that anybody is even thinking about dumping MLK day for BHO day?

That's it. That was to be the crowning racial achievement, electing a black president. Then we could all die happy. America's racial past would be behind us.

And where are we now?

Posted by: AmishDude at April 28, 2011 11:13 PM (73tyQ)

50 If we can get a Republican Senate then his reelection wont be nearly as bad.

On some level I would enjoy 4 more years of the left having to watch their "messiah" keep trying to walk on water only to bellyflop into the drink. And then watching after his "apostles" in the media pull him up and dry him off. Then Obama orates them into a frenzy convinced this time will be different. Well hell its so delicious i've lost 20 pounds because I keep forgetting to eat.

Can you imagine if he lost in 08? The amount of worldwide starpower he would now have? How much he would have undermined the President? As bad as he is I really wonder if the best thing for America (long term) was for him to get elected and belly-flop day after day after day with noone else to credibly blame.

Posted by: Shiggz at April 28, 2011 11:21 PM (mLAWK)

51 50 - You sound like my brother. He keeps saying - "Okay, we elected a black man president" can we get past it now and go back to electing someone we think is actually capable of being president. So sad - I wish the first black president (besides Clinton) would have actually been a great president.

Posted by: gesc at April 28, 2011 11:23 PM (8OCEM)

Man, Obama is such a genius for hiding as much as possible about his past.

He's so great, I hope he continues to hide everything!

Like, this is the left's rallying call. They are cheering him on, for not revealing anything about his past.

Posted by: Rip at April 28, 2011 11:27 PM (onO2O)

53 49 Obama is an illegitimate dictator. It is not as if some watery tart threw a sword at him or anything.
Actually, he IS illigitimate, technically. With his father being previously married, and not divorced or widowed from that wife, I don't believe his marriage to Obama Sr is considered legal. So Capt Unprecedented is also the "First Bastard President". "Barack the Bastard" even has a certain alliterative effect to it. That'd be great to use a lot, but I don't really like the idea of making fun of people based on the actions of their parents, so I'd leave it at that with this obscure bit of trivia. King Barry has plenty of fair things to pick on - things he had control over, and does on purpose.

Posted by: Optimizer at April 28, 2011 11:40 PM (F56VB)

54 We got to elect him to find out what his background and qualifications are!

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at April 28, 2011 11:44 PM (3nrx7)

55 "We are all Donald Trump now".
Fighting back, one yellow post-it note at a time.
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/10-Rules-For-Liberty-Guerillas/">10 Rules For Liberty Guerrillas</a>

Posted by: Obama's Nightmare at April 28, 2011 11:46 PM (OLKDg)

You know, I remember hearing Barry talk about this thing. About all the trouble various people - including his friends and allies - went to in order to provide evidence, and support his case. Citing this by way of showing how everything had already been proven.

And I thought, "What the hell kind of asshole puts his own people through all that crap instead of just signing a fucking form?" Media people are such retards, and so are the asswipe doormats involved.

Posted by: Optimizer at April 28, 2011 11:48 PM (F56VB)

57 This Admin can't handle the heat.
Watch for a "Post-It Note Czar" announcement.

Posted by: StopShouting at April 28, 2011 11:51 PM (OLKDg)

58 I love sparring with the lefties now. For the first two years, they could just blow me as a bitter, sore loser, Obama is just cleaning up Bush's mess, etc. As the months go by, their arguments either are either incoherent or nonexistent. My brother, a major-league kool-aid drinker, has given up on everything and is ready to move to Denmark (where they have a great quality of life and free health care, ignore the Muslim takeover). Especially after the Mass Dems sold the public sector unions down the river....both parties are beholden to corporations, Obama is a right-wing plant, blah blah blah. If we can just survive 2 more years and get a reasonable GOP candidate.....

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at April 28, 2011 11:55 PM (xoTjK)

59 Blow me OFF, blow me off....

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at April 28, 2011 11:56 PM (xoTjK)

60 Ah the soft bigotry of low low low expectations. This clown is facing double digit deficits in approval in indiana, north carolina, new hampshire, virginia, florida, and pennsylvania. I suspect if they asked bluntly he would be underwater in 35 states. If we fuck this up next year, the only consolation is the debt bomb would blow in 2015 and we would see a quarter century of a dem free white house. Then again there could very well be no DC at that point.

Posted by: cac at April 29, 2011 12:02 AM (C3KwS)

61 It could be really comical if Zero gets re-elected but the GOP holds the House and gains the Senate, but I don't want to take that chance, nobody thus far has shown any inclination to stop, much less complain about, all the signing statements. Let alone the blatant un-American actions of the DOJ.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at April 29, 2011 12:09 AM (xoTjK)

62 59 I love sparring with the lefties now. For the first two years, they could just blow me as a bitter, sore loser, Obama is just cleaning up Bush's mess, etc. As the months go by, their arguments either are either incoherent or nonexistent. Uh, I'm still getting the same arguments from people. But then, I'm in Little Beirut, so that's to be expected. I'm looking forward to the First Impeachment of a Black President. Or the First Resignation in Shame of a Black President. Whichever. I'm not choosy. Allen West for Speaker of the House! I'm such an inconsistent racist.

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 12:11 AM (6MNtp)

63 Optimizer,

"What the hell kind of asshole puts his own people through all that crap
;">sends a man to prison instead of just signing a fucking form?"

Fixed it for ya.

Posted by: StopShouting at April 29, 2011 12:24 AM (OLKDg)

64 All this love for Cain and West and of course Powell in yesteryear and oh the respect of Condoleeza if we are all racists we hypocritical racists or really really suck at being racists. Its almost as if we have principles and support people who share them and oppose people who fight against them.

However the left has been very consistent that every person that is not a rich white liberal is below them and incapable of doing anything with them.

*side rant, man am I glad those people abandoned religion in the 60's. Church has been a far better place without them. Notice how you dont hear much about violence, protests, and intolerance from churchs since the 60's when they left? Not a coincidence.

Posted by: Shiggz at April 29, 2011 12:37 AM (mLAWK)

Bent Dick is cratering soooo bad, with the WalMart constituency broke by week 4 every month, I dare to think we could suffer a split on the Right.

Yeah, I know Ace pees in his pants at the notion. But dig the comedy routine. People are beginning to laugh out loud.

Red Oreo can raise a billion but he can't blame breadlines on Bush. Inflation is increasing geometrically.

Posted by: gary gulrud at April 29, 2011 12:40 AM (/g2vP)

66 Oh, Crap. Well, if it's going to happen... Cant we at least have a thread focused on BBC America? Because that could be awful AND funneh!

Posted by: Deety thinks that weddings are lovely at April 29, 2011 12:41 AM (mMv0h)

The big difference between him and the true retards that I have seen at work, they are a least competent.

I wish someone in the crowd would have yelled "It took you long enough dickhead!"

Posted by: Darth Randall at April 29, 2011 12:42 AM (98AOY)

68 with them= without them

snap i shouldnt write at night.. oh who am i kidding, im a crapy typer when da sun is out as well also too. lol

Posted by: Shiggz at April 29, 2011 12:47 AM (mLAWK)

69 OT/

Shep Smith is a MORON.

While covering the Royal wedding he made fun of the hat the Australia Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, was wearing. Of course he had no fucking clue who she was and kept referring to "that lady". Eventually he realized she must be important due to how the cameras followed her to her seat and said "she must be important, I'm going to get in trouble".

How the fuck can a news anchor not recognize the Prime Minister of Australia? Don't they have producers to whisper these things in their ears?

Posted by: Serious Cat at April 29, 2011 01:06 AM (bAySe)

70 Sounds like a good enough reason to get rid of shep smith he can go to CNN where he belongs.

Posted by: Shiggz at April 29, 2011 01:10 AM (mLAWK)

71 I imagine that Woodrow Wilson was not only smart as hell and actually EARNED some of his credentials. I imagine Princeton was thrilled with him but honestly..? He sucked as a President. His policies and actions have only meant woe and suffering, on a global scale, for generations. Wilson paved the way for FDR, long before I was borne. So? Who cares? Anybody wanna translate some Euripedes or passages from the Aeneid? Meh, I thought not. (I'll bet Grover Cleveland could do it in his off hand, the fat fuck!) Tell me I am wrong!

Posted by: Deety Badger don't give a shit at April 29, 2011 01:13 AM (mMv0h)

72 Are we blogging the wedding here? Because the commentary on Youtube is hilarious. It pointed out that William and Harry are Diana and Charles kids. Thanks, Youtube. I was unaware of that fact.

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 01:15 AM (6MNtp)

73 <> We really shouldn't. But, what the hell? Why don't we? It can't hurt anything.

Posted by: Deety Badger don't give a shit at April 29, 2011 01:19 AM (mMv0h)

74 Also, William is hella bald now. He used to be so cute.

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 01:22 AM (6MNtp)

75 Wow, so is Harry. And on topic, Obama sucks. Even people here are complaining about food inflation and gas inflation, even though it's "not noticeable unless TV mentions it."

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 01:24 AM (6MNtp)

76 77 Also, William is hella bald now

Actually both of them if you look close, just in different areas.

I have no sympathy though. My favorite joke in junior high was that I looked like a dog with radiation sickness when I was out in the rain.

Posted by: s☺mej☼e at April 29, 2011 01:25 AM (TrAxp)

77 Barack Obama could butt rape a 12 year old boy on the steps of the Capital.

The MSM would report it as "Obama Gets Closer to America's Youth."

Whoopie Goldberg would say that it wasn't "rape, rape."

Chris Mathews would talk, glowingly, about size, girth and stroke length.

Posted by: Jack at April 29, 2011 01:28 AM (kCT7A)

78 SRSLY? William is "shaking hands" with fucking random people in the church before his bride arrives? Seriously. Shaking hands?

Posted by: Deety Badger don't give a shit at April 29, 2011 01:31 AM (mMv0h)

79 I think it ought to be okay to discuss the Royal Wedding on this thread. It's even on topic, because the royal family also thinks Obama sucks. Rush Limbaugh got an invite, none of the Obamas did. Maybe the queen will send him a recording of it. On an iPod.

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 01:34 AM (6MNtp)

80 Did anyone see the fake ponytail Victoria Beckham was sporting? Giddy up!!!!

Posted by: uncivil & right at April 29, 2011 01:41 AM (zfVGh)

81 Watching the wedding right now on tv. WHAT are those two young women wearing?! Their designer hates them. O_o OK, I'm sorry, I'll shut up now. mac :]

Posted by: macbrooks at April 29, 2011 01:44 AM (aPLBc)

82 I think that like a phoenix from its own ashes, Britain will rise again in the near future. But, if I know my Saxon blood, it wont be until they are alone and on the brink of total disaster. Considering they are Royalty in 2011 Britain the two boys really impress me. Look at the kind of global warming BS the old man is always going on about, that they are above that I think speaks to a more noble nature.

Always thought that was one trait Tolkien really captured well in LOTR, how even when new enemies arise the old arguments and divisions pervade the minds of the people as a sort of safe haven.

Posted by: Shiggz at April 29, 2011 01:44 AM (mLAWK)

83 Ah, the Anglicans. Nobody can do music like they can. Nobody can do vestments like they can, either. I think my retinas are scarred.

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 01:49 AM (6MNtp)

Such pride in his accomplishments.

You know he played with his turds as a kid

Posted by: garrett at April 29, 2011 01:52 AM (sxeDM)

He would pretend the turd was a bar of soap.

Posted by: demoncrat at April 29, 2011 01:55 AM (1kwr2)

85 OK, Kate's wedding dress makes it all better. And the maid of honor's. ^_^ mac :] ps - last word, promise!

Posted by: macbrooks at April 29, 2011 02:02 AM (aPLBc)

86 This Westminster joint seems a bit narrow.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:07 AM (qIHlG)

87 Are they singing beasts of England?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:11 AM (qIHlG)

88 Is that Saruman?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:12 AM (qIHlG)

89 I think it's the arch-druid of Canterbury.

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 02:14 AM (6MNtp)

We're treating the president like a borderline-retard because he is one.

I'm not trying to insult him.

I really think that's how smart he is. IQ somewhere between 80-90.

His constant misuse of words, misspeakings, mispronounciations, slow speaking cadence... the inability to grasp one's native language is a sign of slow wit.

He reads a teleprompter like a fucking champ. But he can't speak extemporaneously to save his fucking life.

Posted by: Truman North at April 29, 2011 02:32 AM (8ay4x)

91 Those guys from the gin bottle are there.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:38 AM (qIHlG)

92 Google is on the ropes.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:40 AM (qIHlG)

93 I successfully got out of bed and got breakfast. Where's my prize?

Posted by: Stu-22 at April 29, 2011 02:42 AM (k4bdL)

94 I successfully got out of bed and got breakfast. Where's my prize?

Posted by: Stu-22

I arose at 03:15, went into work, and brought a project live. By these standards, you all should be kneeling before your new vividly hued, feathered God.

Posted by: Blue Hen at April 29, 2011 02:45 AM (326rv)

95 They are having some gin later, I saw some beef eaters.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:45 AM (qIHlG)

96 They are having some gin later, I saw some beef eaters.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius

Well they're definitely doing tea as well. I saw several strumpets.

Posted by: Blue Hen at April 29, 2011 02:46 AM (6rX0K)

97 I want some gin now, and I don't have any here. Thanks a lot, Flavius.

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 02:47 AM (6MNtp)

98 Ok, everyone look for Rush at the wedding...or has he already been spotted?

Posted by: Tami at April 29, 2011 02:48 AM (VuLos)

99 Where is the Maharushie section of the Abbey?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:50 AM (qIHlG)

100 All this happy horse-shit is about the strategy he has had since day 1 of his adm. That is keeping the public's eye on inconsequential BS so that he can do some truly bad shit behind his back.

Two or three months from now we will probably find out what he was doing this month.

Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2011 02:50 AM (M9Ie6)

101
Buy a big one and wait. That is so true it's almost not funny.

Didn't link all the evidence of fake CLB because it is everywhere. We are worst of now than we where before he released it because now we now it is a forged document and no one will do anything. Barak has truely won.

Hope to fukkin rice I'm wrong.

Posted by: sTevo at April 29, 2011 02:51 AM (VMcEw)

102 I think I saw the Queen listening to the ipod she got from obama. Maybe it wasn't such a bad gift after all. To bad he wasn't invited...they could have swapped songs.

Posted by: Wild Bill at April 29, 2011 02:53 AM (LMGmd)

103

Posted by: Vic

He's alive?

Posted by: Blue Hen at April 29, 2011 02:54 AM (6rX0K)

104 Must be hell changing a light bulb in that joint.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:55 AM (qIHlG)

105 This is a big 'effing wedding

Posted by: Joe Biden at April 29, 2011 02:58 AM (LMGmd)

106 3 Nuke reactors at Browns Ferry are on backup diesel power.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 02:59 AM (qIHlG)

107 Jeebus....someone could be seriously injured by one of those hats.

Posted by: Tami at April 29, 2011 03:01 AM (VuLos)

108 The lady in the weird blue hat was the wife of the prime minister of middle earth?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 03:03 AM (qIHlG)

109 See that smile on Kate? Semen.

Posted by: Lazar Greenfield MD, dipl ACS at April 29, 2011 03:05 AM (le5qc)

110 Whoops, I can't find anything about Rush getting an invite. I feel stoopid. Well, if making up sniper fire stories was good enough for Hillary...

Posted by: not the droid you seek at April 29, 2011 03:06 AM (6MNtp)

111 I think Obama usually looks very effably pleased with himself when talking about himself.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 29, 2011 03:08 AM (Y1DZt)

112 Hey? Isn't that an Ewok just behind that third pillar from the front? The one with the griffins devouring a Moslem carved on it.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 29, 2011 03:12 AM (Y1DZt)

113 Coach horsie was freaking out.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 03:14 AM (qIHlG)

114 Yes, I'm

THIS

Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2011 03:15 AM (M9Ie6)

115 108
Posted by: Vic

He's alive?
Posted by: Blue Hen at April 29, 2011 06:54 AM (6rX0K)

That is not the Vic you seek ...

Posted by: ya2daup at April 29, 2011 03:15 AM (1Ey1g)

116 Headlines up.

Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2011 03:17 AM (M9Ie6)

117 Imagine the carbon foot print.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 03:23 AM (qIHlG)

118 This Westminster joint seems a bit narrow.
People were skinnier in the Middle Ages.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 29, 2011 03:28 AM (Y1DZt)

119 I am still amused by the complete incuriosity of the MSM regarding the contradictions in this whole BC issue. 3 years ago Obama swore that the BC they presented at that time was the ONLY one that existed. 2 months ago, the Governor (after an exhaustive search) declared that the BC COULD NOT BE FOUND. Suddenly, we find it is right in the book where it always should have been. Needless to say that the thing has been photoshopped to death and NO ONE in the press is even slightly curious about any of this?

I am sure the Republican PTB would be making more noise about this except that their "consultants" have told them this issue hurts them more than it hurts Obama. You gotta love these handlers and consultants. They are guaranteed to cut the balls off of anyone.

Posted by: Bill Mitchell at April 29, 2011 03:30 AM (Er/am)

120 123 Orca would never have fit in there.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at April 29, 2011 03:36 AM (qIHlG)

121 For his next trick, Obama learns the correct pronunciation of "Comiskey."

Posted by: Gen. Sir Harry Paget Flashman, VC at April 29, 2011 03:38 AM (faA7d)

122 7

Such pride in his accomplishments.

You know he played with his turds as a kid

Posted by: garrett at April 29, 2011 01:52 AM (sxeDM)

I did not play with that....woman...Barky Obamao!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at April 29, 2011 03:41 AM (6yyVB)

123 ""Pardon the word -- are we not treating the President of the United States like a retard?""

Well...you know, when the shoe fits and all....

Posted by: Berserker at April 29, 2011 03:55 AM (FMbng)

124 @Bill
The one thing Marxists are always good at historically is propaganda and media manipulation. Their goals so destructive, their beliefs so delusional, and their history so abhorrent, if they didn't relentlessly deny and obscure then they would all have been up against the wall by popular uprising tried as traitors and arbiters of mass murder.

Some years from now Obamas' records will come out and Marxists will do what they always do with history, claim he couldn't possibly have been one of them.

What enables all of this is that historians like "journolists", trial lawyers, "psychics", felons, pedophiles, dead people, current prisoners, illegals, richest 10% and poorest 10%... all vote more then 90% for Democrats. Absorb that knowing that the bluest blue state elections come in 55-45 dem and the reddest red states come in 55-45 rep. Its hard to get your mind around what it takes to smash the bell curve of human behavior and grab a 90% majority for anything? In short I don't like the left and they smell bad and they don't even realize it.

Posted by: Shiggz at April 29, 2011 03:59 AM (mLAWK)

125 Ace: "...then a 'five year plan' to buy a 'nice pair of trousers.'"

I'm all atwitter.

Posted by: David Brooks at April 29, 2011 04:02 AM (RUDDk)

126 I also fail at reading comment #4. The prospect of pleats distracted me.

Posted by: David Brooks at April 29, 2011 04:04 AM (RUDDk)

127 Ace: "That's what he's got. That's what he's managed for 2010-2011."

To be fair, Present Saysomething never wanted the job, just the title. I think he really just wanted to be an importer/exporter.

Posted by: Life According to Seinfeld Episodes at April 29, 2011 04:11 AM (RUDDk)

128 "Obama's greatest victory of the entire past year -- his crowning achievement for the past twelve months in the most powerful office in all the world -- is his celebrated triumph in successfully producing a common form of secondary identification."

G'Dammit Man,

They don't give out those Harvard Degrees to just ANYbody.

Posted by: franksalterego at April 29, 2011 04:12 AM (7/sDI)

129 And yet it STILL looks like he's playing games with the document. It does not even LOOK like the Nordyke birth certificate, and it has that weasel clause of claiming to be an "abstract of the record on file."

Posted by: DiogenesLamp at April 29, 2011 04:24 AM (v2K2g)

130 Six months from now, I hear he's going to announce a "five year plan" to buy a "nice pair of trousers." MMMM, yummy!

Posted by: Davey Brooks, NYC Conservative at April 29, 2011 04:26 AM (DWGkW)

131 This post nominated for Snort of the Month. Good job Ace.

Posted by: Committee for Quality Blog Snark at April 29, 2011 04:29 AM (DWGkW)

132 They'll hold their manhoods cheap while any yet live who produced two valid forms of photo ID with us on St. Crispin's Day.

Posted by: Cerebral Paul Z. at April 29, 2011 04:33 AM (cQhQZ)

133 Un

Precedent

Ed...

I'm just waiting for the Clown Car to show up...

Posted by: backhoe at April 29, 2011 04:41 AM (0bk6W)

134 Cry 'Havoc!' and let slip the actuaries and accountants of war!

Posted by: andycanuck at April 29, 2011 04:41 AM (Y1DZt)

135

Tommorrow the press will praise him for managing to dress himself. "He can tie his own shoes too!" He is brilliant I tell you, absolutely brilliant.

Posted by: Marie at April 29, 2011 04:52 AM (W7Seu)

136 He's grinning like King Shit of Fuck Mountain

Note to self: Never read AoSHQ first thing in the morning while drinking coffee. There goes another keyboard.

Posted by: Reiver at April 29, 2011 04:58 AM (64S5N)

137 I remember these huge, world changing events. I remeber when Kennedy was assassinated. I remember when man first walked on the moon. I remember the fall of Saigon. I remember Princess Diana's wedding, and her death. I remeber when the World trade Center was attacked. And I remember when Obama produced his birth certificate.

Posted by: Minuteman at April 29, 2011 04:59 AM (d6wkB)

138 Most transparent president in history. Yep, that's me. I am the man. Whooose your daddy? No Indonesians here- only chiefs. Those 57 states can kiss my black ass; or was it 57 sauce? Oh, whatever, time to go smoke a butt and piss on Michelle's organic garden. Who does that biotch think she is anyway? I am the birth certificate maaan!

The Dollar is dying, inflation is rising, our debt is out of control, unemployment is at historic levels, gas is going to be $5 bucks a gallon soon, the entire economy is tanking, further and this is what the Commander in Douche is celebrating?

Yeah, I am sure the legions of unemployed and people scraping together grocery money and running out of gas because they can't afford it are sitting at home going- "gee, isn't this guy great! Oh, c'mon you gotta love this president. Best president eva!"

Posted by: Marcus at April 29, 2011 05:00 AM (CHrmZ)

139 Where's his little footprint on the Birth Certificate? I figured he had webbed feet or six toes.

Posted by: Cooter at April 29, 2011 05:03 AM (aK79B)

140 There's a rumor going around that the Postal Service is drawing up an Obama Birth Certificate commemorative stamp for release in a year.

Posted by: Reiver at April 29, 2011 05:03 AM (64S5N)

141 Drew? Is this a thread about Obama's BC and is 2 days considered to be "any time soon"?

Posted by: Speller at April 29, 2011 05:07 AM (J74Py)

142

"Are we not, perhaps, condescending to him in indulging him like this?"

Yes. It's called "the soft bigotry of low expectations" that comes when diversity is emphasized over other traits in selecting a student/employee/president.

Posted by: mondonico at April 29, 2011 05:08 AM (UVdd3)

143 I wasn't a birther until he released the fake this week. The PDF of a long form at whitehouse.gov was obviously digitally altered after it was scanned. The amount of alteration is the only question.

Posted by: Bob Saget with a can of honey badger flavor cheezwiz at April 29, 2011 05:08 AM (F/4zf)

144 In the future there will be controversy over the precedence of Easter, Earth Day, or Obama Birth Certificate Release Day when they fall on the same day.

Posted by: Minuteman at April 29, 2011 05:13 AM (d6wkB)

145 The media's portrayal of the release of his birth certificate as a major accomplishment reminds me of the scene in American Pie 2 where Jason Biggs' character is mistaken for a mentally retarded kid named Petey. They ushered him on stage where he did a horrible performance with a trombone. The worse he played, the more the crowd cheered because they thought he was "special." How is that any different than how the media treats the President?

Posted by: NJRob at April 29, 2011 05:36 AM (Lh9iz)

146 Chris Rock had a routine on this that was very non-PC about the difference between normal black people and an ignorant subtype within black people.

One of the things brought up was that they'd make a point of bragging about something they were SUPPOSED to do, like take care of their kids or stay out of jail, then say something like "That's what you're supposed to do, you dumb motherfarker!" or "You want a cookie?"

I'd say that applies to Obama and his ID considering that he's making a point of something he's been SUPPOSED to do for at least 3 years now.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at April 29, 2011 05:39 AM (UvFnc)

147 There's a rumor going around that the Postal Service is drawing up an Obama Birth Certificate commemorative stamp for release in a year.

Posted by: Reiver at April 29, 2011 09:03 AM (64S5N)

Oooh. As fake as the Statue of Liberty one.

+1 for you!

Posted by: momma at April 29, 2011 05:57 AM (penCf)

148 The Intertemporal Tourism Council just announced that the release of Obama's birth certificate has just surpassed the Crucifixion as a top destination for time travelers, and is closing in fast on "killing your own grandfather as a boy just to see what happens".

Posted by: Cerebral Paul Z. at April 29, 2011 06:00 AM (cQhQZ)

149 Obama sucks at leading. He's a low level socialist agitator. but he can tell jokes!

Posted by: Abolish the Teacher's Union at April 29, 2011 06:00 AM (0fzsA)

150 Ace, you got it all wrong! Obama is the King Fuck of the Shit Mountain he's turning America into! Well not really--he's the King Fuckup.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at April 29, 2011 06:02 AM (3ESDJ)

151 Love it when you're like this ace. Goddamn, but if ya didn't just hit it right on the head. I hate that fucking smile of his. Hate. It.

Posted by: jewells45 at April 29, 2011 06:23 AM (l/N7H)

152 Love the name of the clown on the last line:

UK L. Lee

Hawaiian humor, or Obama's forger saying "Fuck You?"

Posted by: Alienated at April 29, 2011 06:39 AM (eNL9N)

153 So if there was never anything super secret on the BC, this no doubt adds "oppositional defiance disorder" to The One's list of diagnoses.

Posted by: Tornado Alley at April 29, 2011 06:40 AM (xs5wK)

154 The media's portrayal of the release of his birth certificate as a major accomplishment reminds me of the scene in American Pie 2 where Jason Biggs' character is mistaken for a mentally retarded kid named Petey. They ushered him on stage where he did a horrible performance with a trombone. The worse he played, the more the crowd cheered because they thought he was "special."

How is that any different than how the media treats the President?

Posted by: NJRob at April 29, 2011 09:36 AM (Lh9iz)

Ohmyfuggingolly...that is the perfect analogy!!!

Posted by: beedubya at April 29, 2011 07:13 AM (AnTyA)

155

Posted by: NJRob at April 29, 2011 09:36 AM (Lh9iz)

Still laughing.

Brother..I am so stealing that.....PRESIDENT PETEY!!!!!!!

Posted by: beedubya at April 29, 2011 07:17 AM (AnTyA)

156

Ace is up watching the Royal Wedding. Just admit it baby. It's OK

Andy Sullivan was probably up watching it too wearing nothing but a big floopy hat and white gloves.

Posted by: beedubya at April 29, 2011 07:25 AM (AnTyA)

157

Dude can't even tell a joke without his teleprompter. You can see him reading [pause]

[pause]

[reach into pocket]

[pause]

[laugh]

Good job Corky!! You did what every other mother fucker in America has to do when they get a license, or Jr. joins T-ball. Pick your favorite candy from the basket, but just one, Corky, don't be selfish.

Posted by: Schwalbe : The © at April 29, 2011 07:31 AM (UU0OF)

158 "I'm very proud of myself." Donald Trump

"I'm very proud of myself." Barack Obama

Posted by: by any other name at April 29, 2011 07:41 AM (H+LJc)

159 What an arrogant, lying Dick-On-A-Stick. Hate him!

Posted by: runningrn at April 29, 2011 07:47 AM (ihSHD)

160

I remember these huge, world changing events. I remeber when Kennedy was assassinated. I remember when man first walked on the moon. I remember the fall of Saigon. I remember Princess Diana's wedding, and her death. I remeber when the World trade Center was attacked. And I remember when Obama produced his birth certificate.

We will all remember where we were at that precise moment when Precedent Odrama released his BC. I happened to be in bed, asleep.

Oh, and the first person I heard refer to Obama as a special ed type president was Rush several months ago.

Posted by: runningrn at April 29, 2011 07:50 AM (ihSHD)

161 I really think that the reason the race card is being played so much now and so often, is that they all know they can't run on anything else that this administration has done. Therefore, the race card is a sign of weakness. Will it work???No. Nobody I know (liberal or conservative) thinks Obama would be great if he was only white. People are disgusted and unhappy-even my union friends-and I have lots-and it is not because of his race.
They voted for him last time. They will not vote for him again.

Posted by: chillin the most at April 29, 2011 07:51 AM (6IV8T)

162 You sound angry, Ace. I was leaving work the other day, where I deal with drug addicts and ex-felons. These guys spend lots of time getting the paperwork and the narrative of their lives back in order so they can re-enter society. This is the level at which your president is operating. Don't you realize, the public isn't going to respect him anymore than we do drug addicts and ex-felons for this stuff, regardless of what Chris Matthews says? Be happy, is my point. He's losing. I'm not sure who is winning, but it's not him.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 29, 2011 07:57 AM (IzKWj)

163

I. Duration, approx 2,000 years*: BC and AD

II. Duration, from now to eternity: BOLF and AOLF (Before Obama Long Form and After Obama Long Form)

(*) if we ignore that "Common Era" crap

Posted by: ADK46er at April 29, 2011 09:27 AM (B1KWj)

164

Who is this Obarfy dude with the mole twitching above?

He will use this stale "joke" every where he goes. Seriously, he thinks he is Chris Rock in a suit. He thrives on the laughter and the punch line as he mocks those who question him. Meanwhile, I laugh at his golf shoes, his pigeon-toed prancing, and his flap-wristed jogging. He is delusional to think he appears athletic.

By the way, I cannot watch the video as it creates all sorts of rage-overflowing-Tourette's-tics and things thrown at the teevee, plus foul language I typically reserve for Coach K.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at April 29, 2011 09:36 AM (FnRYN)

165 Pardon the word -- are we not treating the President of the United States like a retard?

Works for me, because basically, I suspect that's what assholes like him think about regular folk like you and me.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at April 29, 2011 10:28 AM (Kd7IW)

166 Posted by: beedubya at April 29, 2011 11:17 AM (AnTyA) Glad to be of assistance.

Posted by: NJRob at April 29, 2011 11:45 AM (Lh9iz)

167

Barry wonders why people are asking him these type of questions. Could be because he is an enigma wrapped in a riddle shrouded in mystery. We know very little about this guy because the media, who should have sent half as many people all over the world chasing down his story as they did in Alaska going after Palin, gave him a pass. They loved this black guy who talked like a white guy and whose politics were socialist. What more could the media want...

But how is that not being racist again? Hilary and Bill got a full dose of reverse discrimination and it really surprised them both. This was something they never would have believed or expected would ever to happen to them. They were made to feel like...conservatives...

Posted by: Greta at April 29, 2011 08:10 PM (7mUR2)

168 cheap jerseys cheap nfl jerseys cheap nba jerseys

Posted by: anylove at May 16, 2011 01:25 AM (I/Loz)

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