Ace of Spades HQ

May 16, 2011

MORE Things I learned from Popular Music (Open Thread)
— CAC

I learned that the reason why I am the way I am and why I prefer to chase felines is, well, just the dog in me.

I learned that boy needs therapy.

I learned that intentionally naming your son a feminine name will make him tougher and a better person, and that he will probably try to kill you for it.

I learned wearing one's tinted-lenses after sundown allows you to keep track of the visions in your eyes.

Lastly, I learned that one should check oneself before one wrecks themselves, because getting shot, sodomized, and hanging with loose women are bad for ones heath.

Now snark till your Rinos hearts are content.

Posted by: CAC at 04:10 PM | Comments (418)
Post contains 131 words, total size 1 kb.

I study Nuclear Science, I love my classes I gat a crazy teacher who wears dark glasses

Wait First?

Posted by: KZnextzone at May 16, 2011 04:12 PM (ZUWaD)

2 i learned that if its my Birthday i can cry if i want to.

Posted by: Gushka at May 16, 2011 04:13 PM (93zw2)

3 CUNTSMAN '12!

Posted by: Eric "The Brute" Cantor at May 16, 2011 04:13 PM (VXBR1)

Woo Hoo !

Also If you put a lime in a coconut you may need to call a doctor....

Posted by: KZnextzone at May 16, 2011 04:13 PM (ZUWaD)

5 I learned that if you get uptight, everything won't be alright.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 16, 2011 04:14 PM (y/+eD)

6
You know what's weird?

The older I get, the more I like Pink Floyd. I don't know what's wrong with me; the other day I listened to Run Like Hell, I mean really listened to it, and I loved it.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:16 PM (/AACO)

7 I also learned Everyone is helpful and everyone is kind, on the road to Shambala. Also three is about the right number of dogs to have at night.

Posted by: Gushka at May 16, 2011 04:16 PM (93zw2)

8 Yay, a new thread!

I learned the concern troll bus passes down the road and makes a stop here at AoSHQ.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 16, 2011 04:19 PM (rvsdg)

Are we all magic friends? Are we?

Posted by: FireHorse at May 16, 2011 04:19 PM (Rq1/g)

10
No joke: I learned everything I know about seduction from listening to Barry White and watching Hawaii Five-0.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:19 PM (/AACO)

11 6
You know what's weird?

The older I get, the more I like Pink Floyd. I don't know what's wrong with me; the other day I listened to Run Like Hell, I mean really listened to it, and I loved it.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 08:16 PM (/AACO)

its because our times are so crazy that we are really starting to relate to that damn song.

every time i hear Wish You Were Here i think of our crazy times as well and what they want to do "for" us... it feels so intensely political and i originally aware it was somewhat political even as a teen

Posted by: Gushka at May 16, 2011 04:20 PM (93zw2)

12 I learned that the wheels on the bus still go 'round and 'round even when you put people under it.

Posted by: Barack Obama at May 16, 2011 04:21 PM (c0A3e)

I learned that an old tired beetle with an auto stick shift was definitely not a maserati, surely it would not do 185.

And I should have died that day in it.

Posted by: fr8dog at May 16, 2011 04:21 PM (NmSwV)

14 I learned that the time has come and that a fact's a fact.

Posted by: logprof at May 16, 2011 04:21 PM (BP6Z1)

15 Oh, oh, oHhhh it's magic....

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 16, 2011 04:21 PM (x3Wnq)

I learned... the Bird, is THE WORD!

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 16, 2011 04:22 PM (NtXW4)

17
its because our times are so crazy that we are really starting to relate to that damn song.

what a relief; I thought I was alone

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:22 PM (5iMvt)

18 Why does she bang? Because she listened to Ricky Martin?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 04:23 PM (c0A3e)

19 You know what's weird?

The older I get, the more I like Pink Floyd. I don't know what's wrong with me; the other day I listened to Run Like Hell, I mean really listened to it, and I loved it.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 08:16 PM (/AACO)

It's because all the new music is shit, so you have to go way back to the stuff you didn't like back then for new material that's at least better than all the new shit they put out now.

I was listening to Run Like Hell a few weeks ago, it is a pretty good tune

Posted by: CanaDave at May 16, 2011 04:23 PM (gVIyX)

20 you cant tell me "wish you were here" doesnt remind you a teenie bit of "Hope and change" and what its done to us...

Posted by: Gushka at May 16, 2011 04:23 PM (93zw2)

21 I learned that fat bottom girls make the world go 'round. And that it's a rockin' world.

Posted by: gebiv at May 16, 2011 04:23 PM (HVnDd)

22 What ever happened to Elizabeth Shue?

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 16, 2011 04:23 PM (x3Wnq)

23 Lord help me...... I cant cha-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ange....

Posted by: fixerupper at May 16, 2011 04:24 PM (ffV1/)

24 I also learned not to be afraid of the One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater... as we all know he is just a frustrated Musician...

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 16, 2011 04:25 PM (NtXW4)

25 You know what's weird?

The older I get, the more I like Pink Floyd. I don't know what's wrong with me; the other day I listened to Run Like Hell, I mean really listened to it, and I loved it.

I'm going the other direction -- primarily, I think, because Roger Waters is a whiny git. If I want to listen to self-pity, I've discovered much better sources. (Chris Isaak is probably your best choice if you keep to English.)

That said, Run Like Hell is still a cool song.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at May 16, 2011 04:26 PM (bjRNS)

No, Firehouse, we're not. I completely despise you or somebody. We are all, however, on a magic bus. Or something. I never can understand a single solitary word those long-haired hippies are screeching. Also, get the hell off my lawn.

Posted by: Tonestaple at May 16, 2011 04:26 PM (8bxEz)

27 12. thread winnah.... and you owe me a new keyboard

Posted by: fixerupper at May 16, 2011 04:26 PM (ffV1/)

28 I learned that before partaking of a Saturday evening bath, one should perhaps inquire if there will be any partying going on.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 16, 2011 04:26 PM (tJBi7)

29 Awww, Sugar... Awww, Honey Honey...

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 04:26 PM (kUaEF)

I learned that Joe Walsh's Maserati does 185, but Markus's Maserati drives at 210.

I had to figure out for myself, however, that Walsh's car is faster because Markus's is gauged in kilometers.

Posted by: FireHorse at May 16, 2011 04:26 PM (Rq1/g)

31 Robert Smith taught me to use an eggbeater instead of a comb.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 16, 2011 04:26 PM (y/+eD)

32 22 What ever happened to Elizabeth Shue?

She learned that indeed Rock n' Roll dreams come through (for you) and is now performing at the Lost n' Found.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 04:26 PM (c0A3e)

33 I learned that when you've had too much Amstel Light you dance bad.

Posted by: JEM at May 16, 2011 04:27 PM (o+SC1)

I learned that your sister can't twist, but she can rock and roll.

She also outbucks the broncos at the rodeo, but we don't want this thread to become NSFW.

Posted by: malclave at May 16, 2011 04:27 PM (OCRaO)

35 29 18 Why does she bang?Â Because she listened to Ricky Martin?Â Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 08:23 PM (c0A3e) If that's the reason she's certainly not banging ricky Posted by: buzzion at May 16, 2011 08:26 PM (oVQFe) She bop...

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 04:28 PM (kUaEF)

36
I was listening to Run Like Hell a few weeks ago, it is a pretty good tune.

I've heard the song a thousand times but I never really listened to it. It is quite interesting. There's no singing, really. What's weird is this is the type of stuff you realize when you're smokin reefer. But I don't smoke. I think I'm losing it.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:28 PM (/AACO)

Look like a fun thread but I gotta go.

(Tin soldiers and Nixon coming ... )

Posted by: FireHorse at May 16, 2011 04:28 PM (Rq1/g)

38 I learned that leftover Meatloaf actually looks better with age.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 04:30 PM (kUaEF)

39 I learned that losing everything is like the son going down on me.

Posted by: Elton John at May 16, 2011 04:30 PM (OCRaO)

40 I learned jimmy-joe was throwing somethin' off the Tallahatchie Bridge. Looked like ladies underwear.

Posted by: Cicero at May 16, 2011 04:31 PM (QKKT0)

41 I learned that one things for certain Willie Nelson only smokes killer weed

Posted by: dananjcon at May 16, 2011 04:31 PM (RD/KP)

42 Speaking of musicians I have a greater appreciation for as I grow older: freakin' Bob Dylan. More as a song writer, mind you: can you think of anyone else who's written so many good songs, but who's such an awful performer?

When Jimi Hendrix sings better than you do, maybe you might need some lessons.

I finally came to this conclusion when I heard Mike Ness's cover of Don't Think Twice.

(For those unfamiliar with Ness, he's the front man of Social Distortion, a So Cal punk band.)

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at May 16, 2011 04:31 PM (bjRNS)

I've heard the song a thousand times but I never really listened to it. It is quite interesting. There's no singing, really. What's weird is this is the type of stuff you realize when you're smokin reefer. But I don't smoke. I think I'm losing it.

Nope, I totally get what you're saying...it was just background music back in the day, like elevator music...

Posted by: CanaDave at May 16, 2011 04:32 PM (gVIyX)

44 39 I learned that leftover Meatloaf actually looks better with age. Tastes better microwaved, too.

Posted by: George Orwell at May 16, 2011 04:32 PM (AZGON)

45 I learned that the music is gonna get you.

Posted by: IE Con at May 16, 2011 04:32 PM (/COcn)

46
Patrick Swayze taught me she's like the wind.

Now he's dead.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:32 PM (/AACO)

47 Anybody else need the human touch?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 16, 2011 04:33 PM (y/+eD)

48 39 I learned that leftover Meatloaf actually looks better with age.

This. Hang Cool, Teddy Bear was awful. I feel bad for the Meat - he's just too damn old to be doing power ballads. I didn't like Bat Out of Hell 3: The Monster is Loose at first, but it kinda grew on me.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 04:33 PM (c0A3e)

49 Chris cornell taight me that despite what they say on X files,

down below the truth is lying
Beneath the riverbed
So quench yourself and drink the water
That flows below her head

Posted by: Gushka at May 16, 2011 04:34 PM (93zw2)

50 I learned that "humpty" is pronounced with an "umpty"

Posted by: Brendan at May 16, 2011 04:34 PM (U6MtO)

Isn't it "visions in your head"?

gotta keep track of visions in your head. spaw.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 04:36 PM (0fzsA)

52 I learned Rick Astley is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Posted by: George Orwell at May 16, 2011 04:36 PM (AZGON)

53 I learned not to let your sister borrow your car.Because the next day giving your buddies a ride to school they find a Bay City Rollers 8 track in the car.You can figure out some of the adjectives that came my way.

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 04:36 PM (nj7LO)

54 I learned that my girl wants to party all the time party, all the time, party all the time. (Poor Eddy)

Posted by: dananjcon at May 16, 2011 04:36 PM (q1Tbv)

55 I learned that changes aren't permanent, but change is

Posted by: Weew at May 16, 2011 04:36 PM (0EVCj)

56
Bob Dylan is starting to grow on me, too.

If You See Her, Say Hello is a nice song.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:38 PM (5iMvt)

57 I learned that changes aren't permanent, but change is

And you don't mess with the Snow Dog.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at May 16, 2011 04:38 PM (bjRNS)

I learned that if you leave your dog's guts in a box, they are funny later on.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 04:38 PM (0fzsA)

59 I learned Rick Astley is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Posted by: George Orwell at May 16, 2011 08:36 PM (AZGON)

He'll never run around and desert you, either.

Night!

Posted by: ErikW at May 16, 2011 04:38 PM (fbjBk)

60 I was frightened by those lightning-fast kicks -- but they did it with expert timing, so it's cool

Posted by: unclebryan at May 16, 2011 04:39 PM (aVnts)

61 It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry.

Posted by: logprof at May 16, 2011 04:39 PM (BP6Z1)

62 55 I learned that my girl wants to party all the time party, all the time, party all the time. That's not a girl.

Posted by: Brendan at May 16, 2011 04:40 PM (U6MtO)

63 Oh, yeah... and if today was Friday, yesterday would have been Thursday, tomorrow would be Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

Posted by: malclave at May 16, 2011 04:40 PM (OCRaO)

64 #58 I always liked that song,I think I'ts called Big Brass Bed.I'm probably wrong.

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 04:40 PM (nj7LO)

65 Man! I feel like a woman!

Posted by: Michelle Obama at May 16, 2011 04:40 PM (c0A3e)

66 I learned what what's, in the butt.

Posted by: jimmy-joe at May 16, 2011 04:40 PM (FYCiJ)

67 I learned that you don't want to have the same phone number as this chick named Jenny - not even one that has a couple of the digits transposed.

Posted by: aDuck at May 16, 2011 04:40 PM (f+aHL)

68 I learned to Rock It, Man!

Posted by: William Shatner at May 16, 2011 04:40 PM (kUaEF)

69 New "Lifestyle" Anthem?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR-kdDPp2NE

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 04:41 PM (D+phB)

70 I learned to watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow

Posted by: dananjcon at May 16, 2011 04:41 PM (FzVlt)

71 I learned that she's in Batman pajamas, but I'm not sure why.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 16, 2011 04:41 PM (y/+eD)

72 I learned that men like their women a little on the trashy side.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:41 PM (Z71Vg)

73 I've learned that sometimes that golden ticket to Tarshish can end up in the belly of a big fish.

Posted by: JR at May 16, 2011 04:41 PM (mXwtg)

74
I think they have Gloria's number.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:41 PM (5iMvt)

75 A cold, frozen dairy beverage will bring a bevy of young gentlemen to my personal domicile.

Posted by: Geronimo at May 16, 2011 04:42 PM (KVI8B)

76 I learned that sleeping under a table at a roadside park. A man could wake up dead. But it will sure seem warmer than it did sleeping in our king size bed.

Posted by: The Vet at May 16, 2011 04:42 PM (pkIZ2)

77 @74

Jerry Jeff was a sage...he taught me about the pickup truck coasting record.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 04:42 PM (D+phB)

Now he's dead.

Hard to believe isn't it? Damn, I loved that man. I cried when he passed away. A truly nice human being. Now when my OTHER man, Kurt Russell goes, I will be inconsolable.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:43 PM (Z71Vg)

79 I learned that rhyme is not a drug; however, if it was, the proper unit of sale would be a gram.

Posted by: Brendan at May 16, 2011 04:43 PM (U6MtO)

80 I learned not to go round tonight, it's bound to take your life... There's a bad moon on the rise!

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 04:43 PM (kUaEF)

Man! I feel like a woman!

Too bad you don't look like one.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:43 PM (Z71Vg)

82
yeah, Patrick Swayze was a good man.

Kurt Russell is the computer who wore tennis shoes, so he'll be around for a long time.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:44 PM (5iMvt)

83 Metal health will drive you mad.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 16, 2011 04:44 PM (RPYjQ)

84 @80

I guess you took LeDoux's passing pretty hard then.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 04:44 PM (D+phB)

85 I learned that "when I drink I spend the next morning in a haze But we only get so many days. . . now I have one less." I learned that everywhere around the world, they're coming to America. And that it's better to be happy with a lover while forever in blue jeans than to have lots of money. Not sure I buy that one.

Posted by: HotinNC at May 16, 2011 04:44 PM (SQvIY)

86 I blew out my flip flop. Screw it, there's booze in the blender.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 04:44 PM (0fzsA)

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 08:43 PM (kUaEF)

Whoo hoo! One of my fave CCR songs!

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:45 PM (Z71Vg)

88 Beware of smiling faces.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 16, 2011 04:45 PM (wzani)

89 I learned that Jenny's number is 837-5209.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 04:45 PM (kUaEF)

90 84
yeah, Patrick Swayze was a good man.
Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 08:44 PM (5iMvt) I miss Patrick Swayze.

Posted by: HotinNC at May 16, 2011 04:46 PM (SQvIY)

91 Boy was I way off.That Dylan song is called Lay Lady Lay.

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 04:46 PM (nj7LO)

92 I learned that the brains of our robot overlords (who I welcome) will be manufactured by IBM, however other parts will be manufactured in Japan, and the robots will be programmed to speak Japanese.

Posted by: Brendan at May 16, 2011 04:46 PM (U6MtO)

93 I learned that a big-legged woman ain't got no soul

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 04:46 PM (mS1ai)

94 I thought it was 867-5309??

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (Z71Vg)

95 I have learned that I can't always get what I want, but that if I try sometime I just might find that I'll get what I need.

Posted by: Scarlett at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (Ju9gi)

96 I learned that when Prince says Trojans, he doesn't mean horses.

Posted by: Geronimo at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (KVI8B)

97
Beware of smiling faces.

Why, are they backstabbers?

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (5iMvt)

98 I've also found that, even though I've seen everything I want, even though your bird is Green, you are invisible.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (D+phB)

99 I know what I want, what I really really want:

I wanna
I wanna
I wanna
I wanna
I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha

Posted by: logprof at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (BP6Z1)

100 Lay lady lay.. lay across my big brass bed.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (Z71Vg)

101 I learned that Captain Jack can get me by tonight.

/But not pron or masturbation.

Posted by: Ken at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (c0A3e)

102 I've learned that people who perform unsavory acts on others will perform said acts for a dirt cheap price.

Posted by: booger at May 16, 2011 04:47 PM (9RFH1)

103 I learned to watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow

I learned that they're lying & lazy, and that they can be driving you crazy.

Posted by: fluffy at May 16, 2011 04:48 PM (SwkdU)

104 I learned that Jeremy has issues

Posted by: chemjeff at May 16, 2011 04:48 PM (CXXA5)

105 I learned to excuse myself while I kiss a guy.

And that all the women climaxed and urinated, the bare foot surfers too.

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 04:48 PM (4RFKN)

106 Just found out that all my ex'es live in Texas.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 16, 2011 04:48 PM (wzani)

107

Can you hear the drums Fernando? Do you recall the fateful night we crossed the Rio Grande?

What?? So I like Abba. Sue me.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:48 PM (Z71Vg)

108 "even though" again, just because. I just heard "despite" is a word.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 04:49 PM (D+phB)

109
La la la de de da
La la de de da da da

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:49 PM (/AACO)

110 I learned that intentionally naming your son a feminine name will make him tougher and a better person, and that he will probably try to kill you for it.

We have friends who've given their daughters men's names. And by men's I mean names like Austin and Elliot.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 04:49 PM (UOM48)

111 If lovin' you is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

Posted by: Newton Leroy Gingrich at May 16, 2011 04:49 PM (Lysbr)

112

Just found out that all my ex'es live in Texas.

That's why I hang my hat in Tennessee.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:50 PM (Z71Vg)

113 Thanks to my new policies, you won't be able to drive 55!

Posted by: Barack H. Obama (the H stands for Hagar) at May 16, 2011 04:50 PM (Lysbr)

114 96 I thought it was 867-5309?? Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 08:47 PM (Z71Vg) Cell phone.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 04:50 PM (kUaEF)

115
I learned John is quick with a joke or...

(or...?)

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:50 PM (/AACO)

116 I learned that I'd better not mention anything to Luka about the noises or she'll get the shit slapped outta her again.

Posted by: Geronimo at May 16, 2011 04:51 PM (KVI8B)

117 Judge Dredd's the man, he is the law

Posted by: dananjcon at May 16, 2011 04:51 PM (FzVlt)

118 I learned that there is a corner in Winslow, Arizona.

Posted by: Thomas at May 16, 2011 04:51 PM (x0Dmg)

119 Captain Jack will get you high tonight.

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 04:51 PM (nj7LO)

120 I've learned that chants of "mmm mmm mmm,..." pass for music education. Give me Danny Gatton or give me you way the hell away from me.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 04:51 PM (D+phB)

121 I learned that the factory where my hotrod was built employs a guy named Jesus.

Posted by: Brendan at May 16, 2011 04:51 PM (U6MtO)

122 I now know that Sergio Valente is my only friend.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 16, 2011 04:52 PM (y/+eD)

123
/nudge

La la la de de da
La la de de da da da

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:52 PM (5iMvt)

124 You beat me to it Soothssayer

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 04:52 PM (nj7LO)

125 I'm off to kill what's left of my brain with the new season of Real Hos of New Jersey.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 04:52 PM (UOM48)

126 I learned my husband REALLY does think it's funny when I'm mad.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:52 PM (Z71Vg)

127 122 Captain Jack will get you high tonight.

Just a little push, and you'll be smiling!

Posted by: Ken at May 16, 2011 04:52 PM (c0A3e)

128

A boy named Sue?

Posted by: dave at May 16, 2011 04:53 PM (HPcQF)

129 I found out that I'm wasting away again in Margaritaville, and some people say there's a woman to blame.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 04:53 PM (kUaEF)

130 You only need to go boom, boom twice to put someone's lights out.

Posted by: Seal Team Six at May 16, 2011 04:53 PM (wzani)

131 I learned the many ways in which a country boy can survive

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 04:53 PM (mS1ai)

132 Just a little push, and you'll be smiling!

Posted by: Ken at May 16, 2011 08:52 PM (c0A3e)

said Fareek Zakaria.....

*rimshot*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 04:53 PM (UOM48)

133 I learned that Love is a Battlefild.

Posted by: Darth Randall at May 16, 2011 04:54 PM (O/onO)

134 I learned that when I need a dirty deed performed, it's best to shop around for the best price as there are really some good deals out there.

Posted by: Brendan at May 16, 2011 04:54 PM (U6MtO)

135 I learned that the new boss is the same as the old boss, and that I shouldn't get fooled again.

Seriously, this was an important lesson for me.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 16, 2011 04:54 PM (ZGhSU)

136 I learned that Jane finally got fed up and won't be letting Sergio treat her like a bundle of anthropomorphic torn clothing any more.

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 04:54 PM (4RFKN)

137 I learned that even though she'll show you love like you've never seen, she's only seventeen...

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 04:54 PM (jGXQI)

138

I learned that there is a corner in Winslow, Arizona.

In 2006 we took a road trip to AZ. Yeah, we really did stop in Winslow and stand on a corner. Took pics of my drunk BIL and my hubby and daughter. Ahh... good times.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:54 PM (Z71Vg)

139 I learned that the factory where my hotrod was built employs a guy named Jesus.

You're OK by me.

Posted by: Gibby Haynes at May 16, 2011 04:54 PM (SwkdU)

140 Take me down to paradise city.....

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 04:55 PM (nj7LO)

141 I learned that for $23, you can buy a detachable penis from a street peddler, but you can also talk him down to $17.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 16, 2011 04:55 PM (dUKEs)

142 I started a joke that started the whole world crying

Posted by: dananjcon at May 16, 2011 04:55 PM (vXr7p)

143 I learned that someone wants an ugly girl, but the ocean doesn't want me today.

Posted by: fluffy at May 16, 2011 04:55 PM (SwkdU)

144 If you're poor, the only thing you can do is be a vocalist for a rock and roll band, especially if you live in London.

Posted by: ChuckOH at May 16, 2011 04:55 PM (Lysbr)

145 Well I'm working up an appetite, looking forward to some afternoon delight...

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 04:56 PM (kUaEF)

146 *rimshot*

How you doin'? Oh, wait, rimshot.....

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at May 16, 2011 04:56 PM (9RFH1)

147 I learned that when you show up at someone's house, you should "say hello."

Posted by: dave at May 16, 2011 04:56 PM (HPcQF)

148
no love for the piano man?

who doesn't know all the words to that song?

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:56 PM (/AACO)

149 I learned that I might have to eat my midday meal alone.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 16, 2011 04:56 PM (ZGhSU)

150 137 I learned that Love is a Battlefild.

And that while good girls go to Heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 04:56 PM (c0A3e)

151 I learned that peace and contentment can be achieved by moving to the country and eating a lot of peaches.

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (mS1ai)

152 I learned that I should beat on the brat with a baseball bat.

Posted by: Armando at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (jbWwg)

153

I learned John is quick with a joke or...

(or...?)

We fired John. He was giving away too many drinks.

Posted by: The Management at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (QKKT0)

154 I learned that the lap dance is always better when the stripper is crying.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (xqhoO)

155 I learned that "mony mony" is a great song despite the lack of intelligible lyrics

Posted by: chemjeff at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (CXXA5)

156 I learned to take the long way home.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (Z71Vg)

157 I learned that being born on a Greyhound bus on the way to Nashville gives you the powers of Dicky Betts.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (D+phB)

158 I learned girls just wanna have fun

Posted by: pelletman at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (9Q8V0)

159
When my old man looks at my life he's gonna realize I'm a lot like he was.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 04:57 PM (/AACO)

160 If copulation on the street is your thing, there's no reason not to because no one would see you anyway.

Posted by: ChuckOH at May 16, 2011 04:58 PM (Lysbr)

161 I also learned that when the lights go down in the city it's a good time for lovin, touchin, squeezin.

Posted by: dave at May 16, 2011 04:58 PM (HPcQF)

162 I learned that one way or another I'm gonna find ya.
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 04:58 PM (0fzsA)

163 I learned that you don't need money, don't need fame, and don't need no credit card to ride this train...

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 04:58 PM (jGXQI)

164 133, nah, it's your own damn fault.

Posted by: bigred, Gators Got Your Granny, Inc. at May 16, 2011 04:58 PM (weBtw)

165 I learned that I can't always get what I want

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 04:58 PM (mS1ai)

166

I learned that you don't tug on Superman's cape.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at May 16, 2011 04:58 PM (5QW3T)

167 I learned there is water at the bottom of the ocean. Oh yes and that the ocean is a desert with it's life underground. So many things about the ocean...

Posted by: Geronimo at May 16, 2011 04:59 PM (KVI8B)

168 I learned there are 50 ways to leave your lover.... but I'm working on a lot more....

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 16, 2011 04:59 PM (NtXW4)

169 I also learned that rain on my wedding day, a free ride when I've already paid, and good advice that I just didn't take are all, for whatever reason, ironic.

Oh, and, apparently, it figures.

Posted by: Armando at May 16, 2011 04:59 PM (jbWwg)

170

139 - Life lesson for me too.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 04:59 PM (0fzsA)

171 I found out my girlfriend ran off with my car, went back to her ma and pa, telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 04:59 PM (D+phB)

172 Oh, and to never make a pretty woman my wife.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 16, 2011 04:59 PM (xqhoO)

173 I learned that while cool is an excellent guideline, sometimes a suboptimal situation is a suboptimal situation.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 16, 2011 04:59 PM (ZGhSU)

174 I learned that a crashing blow from a big right hand can send you to the promised land.

Posted by: Charlie what's his name at May 16, 2011 05:00 PM (H+LJc)

175 148 If you're poor, the only thing you can do is be a vocalist for a rock and roll band, especially if you live in London. -- It's a good move, because if anyone starts blaming you for the world's problems, you can just say "I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band"

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:00 PM (jGXQI)

176 145 I learned that for $23, you can buy a detachable penis from a street peddler, but you can also talk him down to $17. I learned that a detachable penis is a really bad deal.

Posted by: John Bobbit at May 16, 2011 05:00 PM (kUaEF)

177 Watch out for mean Mr. Muster.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 16, 2011 05:01 PM (wzani)

178

On a serious note: "The Trees" by Rush. Good lesson.

Posted by: ChuckOH at May 16, 2011 05:01 PM (Lysbr)

179 I learned... not to forget the sunscreen. (Is anyone else sometimes haunted by that "song"?)

Posted by: Daisy at May 16, 2011 05:01 PM (T0ga9)

180 I learned that except for frigging in the rigging, there isn't much else to do.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 16, 2011 05:01 PM (RPYjQ)

181 @165: I learned that Nananananana Nanananana Nanananana-nananananana * 7 = 154. Many, many times, every damn day back in 1981/82

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 05:01 PM (4RFKN)

182 buzzion,

I was in Columbus when those bastards first broke. If I never hear that song again, it will be too soon.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 05:01 PM (D+phB)

183 I learned that It's really hard to snort whisky and drink cocaine.

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (nj7LO)

184

I learned that you better stay home, and do as your told, and stay out of the road if you want to grow old.

Also that Whitehouse is a house-proud town mouse whose trying to keep our feelings off the street.

Lastly, that you're nearly a lie, but you're really a cry.

Posted by: CAC at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (EX4X+)

185 I learned Micky Micky is so fine.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (Z71Vg)

186 This weekend I learned that the Yankees suck...really suck

Posted by: dananjcon at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (FzVlt)

187
She told me that there'll be no huggin, no kissin until she gets a wedding ring.

("I got a little change in my pocket going jingle lingle ling" is one of the best song-opening verses ever)

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (/AACO)

188 YIKES! hasn't learned that it was "Mean Mr. Mustard"

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (D+phB)

189 I also learned that "out there's a fortune waiting to be had..."

Posted by: Darth Randall at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (O/onO)

190 Nobody likes you when you're 23...

/What the hell is Call ID?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (c0A3e)

191 I learned you don't want to be TIMOTHY!!

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:02 PM (Z71Vg)

192 I learned that Mr. Brownstone will keep knocking on your door and won't leave you alone until you dance with him.

Posted by: booger at May 16, 2011 05:03 PM (9RFH1)

193 Why the fuck did Billy Joe McAllister jump off the Tallahatchie Bridge?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 05:03 PM (UOM48)

194 Boom Boom out go the lights!

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 05:03 PM (nj7LO)

195 I learned that many things were happening on the evening when Old Dixie was driven down.

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 05:03 PM (D+phB)

196 I learned that 911 wears the late crown, 'cause they only come when they wanna.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 16, 2011 05:03 PM (y/+eD)

197 "I learned that boy needs therapy."

Here's a question. Which one will be released to the public first: Duke Nukem Forever, or The Avalanches' second album?

Posted by: wooga at May 16, 2011 05:03 PM (2p0e3)

198 I found out my girlfriend ran off with my car, went back to her ma and pa, telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty.

I learned that civil servants and grey-clad people took away my liberty.

Posted by: fluffy at May 16, 2011 05:04 PM (SwkdU)

199 I learned that the night weighs heavy on a guilty mind.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 16, 2011 05:04 PM (ZGhSU)

200 And, Kratos, the state looks down on sodomy.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 16, 2011 05:04 PM (RPYjQ)

201 190 I learned Micky Micky is so fine.

Heh, funny, just last weekend i discovered the lady who does that song was in the movie Easy Ryder.

Posted by: booger at May 16, 2011 05:04 PM (9RFH1)

202
I learned happy birthday.

To you.

Posted by: The Mega Indepedent at May 16, 2011 05:04 PM (5I0Yr)

203

Eric Clapton shot the sheriff, but he didn't shoot the deputy.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at May 16, 2011 05:04 PM (5QW3T)

204
You're in Honduras. You're desperate. What should I send you?

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:04 PM (/AACO)

205

Why the fuck did Billy Joe McAllister jump off the Tallahatchie Bridge?

Damn that bitch had a great voice.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:04 PM (Z71Vg)

206

I learned Newt had a theme song.

http://tinyurl.com/yaehmr6

Posted by: robtr at May 16, 2011 05:05 PM (MtwBb)

207 I learned you better prepare yourself for the Rubberband Man. You've never heard a sound like the Rubberband Man. You're bound to lose control when the Rubberband starts to jam.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 16, 2011 05:05 PM (dUKEs)

208 I learned that only a chocolate Jesus can satisfy my soul

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 05:05 PM (mS1ai)

209
Hurry, people.

The Shit Hit The Fan.

What should I send you???

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:05 PM (5iMvt)

210

I discovered that if you find yourself running thru the jungle don't look back.

Posted by: Tommy Gunnarson at May 16, 2011 05:05 PM (ybA9f)

211 I learned that if you drive us wild, we'll drive you craaayyyzaaaayyy.

Posted by: Geronimo at May 16, 2011 05:06 PM (KVI8B)

212 I learned that we can be like the wind, the Sun, and rain! 40,000 men and women, everyday. We can be like they are!

Posted by: John Bobbit at May 16, 2011 05:06 PM (kUaEF)

213 Who did that Jane? Bobby Jo something or other?? I'm too lazy to google it.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:06 PM (Z71Vg)

214 You don't wanna miss a thing (while the world is exploding around you and Ben Afleck and Liv Tyler make out).

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 05:06 PM (c0A3e)

215 Lawyers, Guns, and Money!

How was I to know she was with the Russians too?

Posted by: StPatrick at May 16, 2011 05:06 PM (D+phB)

216 I learned that it does not pay to be drunk and horny.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 16, 2011 05:06 PM (dUKEs)

217 I thought Timothy Learn was dead. Nope he outside looking in. Now get off my lawn hippie.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 16, 2011 05:06 PM (wzani)

218 210

Why the fuck did Billy Joe McAllister jump off the Tallahatchie Bridge?

Damn that bitch had a great voice.

Bobbie fucking Gentry, "Ode to Billy Joe."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 05:07 PM (UOM48)

219 I learned that Heaven has a flight of stairs. Hell is accessible by highway and Peace can be arrived at by train.

Posted by: mark c at May 16, 2011 05:07 PM (SBIko)

220
Me-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-eee and Mrs. Jones.. Mrs Jones... Mrs Jones...

we got a thing goin on.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:07 PM (/AACO)

221

I've learned that I'm all out of love, and that I'm so lost without you.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 05:07 PM (0fzsA)

222 Stupid fucked up italics.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 05:07 PM (UOM48)

223 I learned that if Will Ferrell sings a song in a movie, I won't like it anymore.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:07 PM (jGXQI)

224 I learned that only a chocolate Jesus can satisfy my soul

He's big in Japan

Posted by: fluffy at May 16, 2011 05:07 PM (SwkdU)

225 I learned that the young ones are easy pickings

Posted by: Mrs. Robinson at May 16, 2011 05:07 PM (D+phB)

226 224 I learned that Heaven has a flight of stairs. Hell is accessible by highway and Peace can be arrived at by train.

And that the soul is a car on the highway of life.

/Objects in the rear-view mirror may appear closer than they are.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (c0A3e)

227 We all live in a yellow submarine....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (5QW3T)

228 I learned that napalm sticks to kids.

Also, I found out that you'll work harder with a gun at your back for a bowl of rice a day.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (dUKEs)

229 Oh, off Bobbit ~~cock~~ sock!

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (kUaEF)

230 I learned that the people down in the valley and the people up on the mountain will never ever get along until one of those two groups, can't recall which, kills all of the others only to discover, way too late, that it wasn't worth the effort...or was it?

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (4RFKN)

231 While I know WHAT he said, I can't quite figure out what the hell that witchdoctor MEANT.....

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (4ABat)

232

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 09:07 PM (UOM4

Yeah, that's it. Damn she had a great voice. Sultry. Loved that song! They made a movie out of it that pretty much sucked.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (Z71Vg)

233 I'm too drunk to fuck.

Posted by: The Christy Minstrels at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (0fzsA)

234 I learned that Mr. Dobalina's first name was Bob.

Posted by: booger at May 16, 2011 05:08 PM (9RFH1)

235 202

Probably would be a close one: Duke Nukem Forever is finally coming out in mid-June, and the Avalanches apparently have finished recording their second album, and should be out later this year.

Posted by: Armando at May 16, 2011 05:09 PM (jbWwg)

236 I can't get Knock knock knockin' on Osama's Door out of my head.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 05:09 PM (UOM48)

237 I learned that Heaven has a flight of stairs. -- Nonsense, heaven is a place on Earth. But you don't want to get too much of it.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:09 PM (jGXQI)

238 I learned that love in an elevator is more fun when you're going down

Posted by: chemjeff at May 16, 2011 05:09 PM (CXXA5)

239 I learned that Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.

I learned that, in the end, the love you take turns out to be equal to the love you make.

I learned that you can't raise a Kane back up when he's in defeat.

I learned that when I say "I love you," you say "you better."

Posted by: Jeff B. at May 16, 2011 05:09 PM (NjYDy)

240 235 I learned that the people down in the valley and the people up on the mountain will never ever get along until one of those two groups, can't recall which, kills all of the others only to discover, way too late, that it wasn't worth the effort...or was it?
My bet- it was and they are selling timeshares.

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 16, 2011 05:09 PM (4ABat)

241 I think Foxy from the Roxy might be an underage Canadian whore.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 16, 2011 05:09 PM (y/+eD)

242 I learned that white lightnin' makes George Jones not show up for performances.

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 16, 2011 05:09 PM (D+phB)

243 Oh, and her baby takes the morning train.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at May 16, 2011 05:10 PM (5QW3T)

244 I learned that everybody will help you and that some people are very kind, but if I can save you any time then give it to me -- I'll keep it with mine.

Posted by: Jeff B. at May 16, 2011 05:10 PM (NjYDy)

245 I learned I'm Addicted to Love!

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:10 PM (Z71Vg)

246 229, in that same vein, it's my understanding that the piano has been drinking.

Posted by: Armando at May 16, 2011 05:10 PM (jbWwg)

247 237

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 09:07 PM (UOM4

Yeah, that's it. Damn she had a great voice. Sultry. Loved that song! They made a movie out of it that pretty much sucked.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 09:08 PM (Z71Vg)

But why the hell did Billy Joe jump off the Tallachachie bridge?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 05:10 PM (UOM48)

248 I learned the correct way to proposition my high school teacher is to write her a letter like this: I love you. Do you love me? Please Please! (I want to hold you)

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:11 PM (jGXQI)

249 I like big butts for that I cannot lie.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 16, 2011 05:11 PM (wzani)

250 I learned that fame makes a man loose and hard to swallow.

Posted by: Jeff B. at May 16, 2011 05:11 PM (NjYDy)

251 I learned that if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit.

Posted by: Machine Gun Joe Viterbo at May 16, 2011 05:11 PM (AKZxe)

252 I learned that there are many interesting characters on Penny Lane; the fireman, barber, and policeman come to mind.

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 16, 2011 05:11 PM (D+phB)

253 Booger, you didn't learn zilch.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 16, 2011 05:11 PM (xqhoO)

254
Her name was Lola.

She was a showgirl.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:11 PM (/AACO)

255

I learned As I walk through this world nothing can stop me cause I am the Duke of Earl

and when your at a night club never and I mean never yell at up to the guy on stage "Hey Otis! My man!!"

Posted by: Krazy Kat at May 16, 2011 05:12 PM (oNphh)

256 I've learned that life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away....

Posted by: Joejm65 at May 16, 2011 05:12 PM (ThKfZ)

257 I learned that in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:12 PM (kUaEF)

258 The trains to Clarksville do not run 24/7.

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 16, 2011 05:12 PM (D+phB)

259 I learned the hard way in a dark bar in Spain that the dude looks like a lady.

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 05:12 PM (nj7LO)

260 Okay, off to kill remaining brain cells.

Real Housewives of New Jersey, here I come!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 05:12 PM (UOM48)

261

I'm too drunk to fuck.

Okay, I don't why that made me LOL.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:12 PM (Z71Vg)

262 She's so fine, there's no telling where the money went.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 05:13 PM (0fzsA)

263 I learned that Mickey's girlfriend will take it like a man!

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:13 PM (kUaEF)

264 @258 I also learned that lords of finance never put on a raincoat when it's pouring cats and dogs.

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 05:13 PM (4RFKN)

265 I learned the Ice Cream Man has push-ups too...

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (4ABat)

266 I learned we all need to wear sunscreen. If the singer could only offer us only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of his advice has no basis more reliable
than his own meandering experienc

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (dUKEs)

267 ProTip: If you're going to play in Texas, it's recommended that you have a fiddle in the band.

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (D+phB)

268

But why the hell did Billy Joe jump off the Tallachachie bridge?

They never say why in the song and I can't remember the movie now. They do explain it, but it was lame, that's all I remember.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (Z71Vg)

269 261

I learned As I walk through this world nothing can stop me cause I am the Duke of Earl

Too bad Earl had to die.

/Saddam's Sluts, ugh.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (c0A3e)

270 I learned that some call it weed and some of dem call it Ganja
Doctors smoke it Judges smoke it Legalize it

Posted by: Spliffington at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (3OCZw)

271 I learned that I want to be a sledgehammer

Posted by: chemjeff at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (CXXA5)

272 I learned that my papa was a rollin' stone, my mama didn't dance and that my brother wasn't all that heavy.

Posted by: mark c at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (SBIko)

273 Summer is either the time for fighting or the time for dancing in the street.

Posted by: ChuckOH at May 16, 2011 05:14 PM (Lysbr)

274 If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, should you be alarmed? Quick answer - no. It's just a spring clean for the may queen.

Posted by: Joejm65 at May 16, 2011 05:15 PM (ThKfZ)

275 We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors
And adding more lanes.

Posted by: Imam Obama at May 16, 2011 05:15 PM (1fanL)

276
Joanie, when we're together they say, "Children behave." Then you put your arms around me and then we tumble to the ground.

_{^{And they also say, "Debbie Gibson is gay."}}

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:15 PM (5iMvt)

277 I learned I'm too sexy for my shades, clothes, shoes etc...

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:15 PM (Z71Vg)

278 in that same vein, it's my understanding that the piano has been drinking.

Yep, Rum. Strong & thin. And Romeo bled all over the damn thing.

Posted by: fluffy at May 16, 2011 05:15 PM (SwkdU)

279 The good die young and if you turn around, they'll be gone.

Posted by: Charlie what's his name at May 16, 2011 05:15 PM (H+LJc)

280 I learned that I don't want to get caught up in any of that funky shit going down in the city

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 05:15 PM (mS1ai)

281 260
Her name was Lola.

She was a showgirl.
Not if you asked the guy who actually took 'her' home...

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 16, 2011 05:16 PM (4ABat)

282 I learned why I'm never going to dance again. My guilty feet have got no rhythm.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:16 PM (jGXQI)

283 I learned Ohhhhhhh, yeeeaaahhhh. Chick--Chickaschackaa. Bomp Bomp.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 16, 2011 05:16 PM (RPYjQ)

284 There I was, completely wasting. Out of work and down.
All inside, it's so frustrating, as I drift from town to town.
Feels as though nobody cared if I lived or died.
So I might as well begin to put some action in my life.

Posted by: NR Pax at May 16, 2011 05:17 PM (FLBNI)

285

When life gives you lemons, have them squeezed until the juice runs down your leg.

Posted by: ChuckOH at May 16, 2011 05:17 PM (Lysbr)

286 I learned that if Der Komissar is in town, it's best not to make sudden moves.

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 16, 2011 05:17 PM (D+phB)

287 Eddie Vedder gave me the best advice ever: "mumble, mumble, mumble, ...?"

Posted by: aDuck at May 16, 2011 05:17 PM (f+aHL)

288 I once killed a boy with a Fender guitar...

I can't remember if it a Telecaster or a Stratocaster.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 16, 2011 05:17 PM (c0A3e)

289 I learned that Lola, La-La-La-La-Lo-La, is packing. IYKWIM

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:18 PM (kUaEF)

290 I've learned that he...is...Ironman!

Posted by: Joejm65 at May 16, 2011 05:18 PM (ThKfZ)

291 I learned that one should mark well the location of the sled dogs, and do not eat snow that isn't white.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 16, 2011 05:18 PM (ZGhSU)

292
Sadly, I learned I ain't got nobody.

Life goes on without me.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:18 PM (5iMvt)

293 Don't be a dumbass....you'd better stay away from Copperhead Road.

Posted by: Tommy Gunnarson at May 16, 2011 05:18 PM (ybA9f)

294 @295

At least it wasn't a Gibson, that would've been a tragedy.

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 16, 2011 05:18 PM (D+phB)

295 Jane, I just googled and IMBD says he threw HIMSELF off the bridge. Well, hell no!! The song specifically says THEY threw something off the bridge TOGETHER. I knew the movie sucked for a reason.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (Z71Vg)

296 Did you know there is a house in New Orleans they call the Rising Sun? Well there is. Or at least there was before Katrina.

Posted by: Nash Rambler at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (vmcYN)

297 I learned that if there's a new way I'll be the first in line (but it better work this time).

Posted by: Robert at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (4q6A5)

298 Damn that bitch had a great voice

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2011 09:07 PM (UOM4

And a slammin body too!

http://tinyurl.com/y865ghb

A bit of red blooded Americana for ya! the original Mississippi Queen!

Posted by: Krazy Kat at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (oNphh)

299 I learned that Sancho better stay away from some guy's girl or he won't think twice about putting a gun down his throat. It has something to do with a kind of hat people wear while playing baseball too, but I can't remember why. Some songs just don't make no sense.

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (4RFKN)

300 Yes i know, 'fore you go, i'm gonna miss you
A good piece of ass is hard to find
Before you leave home, go out on your own
I'd just
Like to fuck you one more time

Posted by: David Allan Coe at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (1fanL)

301 Charlie Crist, former governor and still a douche, is doing ads on TV in Jacksonville for his new employer: A 'personal injury' law firm

chase that am-bla-lamps, Charlie........

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (UqKQV)

302 I learned How they are paid in gold just to babble in the back room and waste their time.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (HBqDo)

303 I learned that mmmbop is not a real word

Posted by: chemjeff at May 16, 2011 05:19 PM (CXXA5)

304

They never say why in the song and I can't remember the movie now. They do explain it, but it was lame, that's all I remember.

Got drunk, messed with a hooker, and then had teh gay thing with the preacher.

...all this after knocking up his girlfriend.

Today, he would get a whirlwind trip on the talk show circuit and a multimillion dollar settlement.

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 16, 2011 05:20 PM (4ABat)

305
Not if you asked the guy who actually took 'her' home...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
That's a different Lola. But then again, maybe Barry Manilow was singing about a tranny, too.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:20 PM (5iMvt)

306 Never mind, the song DOES say he jumped off the bridge.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:21 PM (Z71Vg)

307 I learned that changes come, that I should keep my dignity, take the high road, take it like a man.

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 05:21 PM (mS1ai)

308 I still wonder wonder who da doo doo doo...who wrote the Book of Love...?

Posted by: Machine Gun Joe Viterbo at May 16, 2011 05:21 PM (AKZxe)

309 Don't be a dumbass....you'd better stay away from Copperhead Road.

Posted by: Tommy Gunnarson at May 16, 2011 09:18 PM (ybA9f)

And on that note, don't let third-generation moonshinin' hillbillies do two tours in the MACV area of operations. They start making plans involving seeds from Latin America and boobytrapping hollers.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 16, 2011 05:21 PM (dUKEs)

310
btw, when she's gone, there ain't no sunshine.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:21 PM (/AACO)

311 I learned that if you're a boy from south Detroit, you can make it. Just don't stop...doing something. Can't remember, but it seemed like an easy recipe for success.

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 16, 2011 05:21 PM (D+phB)

312 308 SantaRosaStan

"For the people!"

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 05:22 PM (mS1ai)

313 You slide so good with bones so fair
You've got the universe reclining in your hair
'Cos you're my baby, yes you're my love
Oh girl I'm just a jeepster for your love

Posted by: T. Rex at May 16, 2011 05:22 PM (1fanL)

314 Gerry Owen.. correct. My memory sucks.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 16, 2011 05:23 PM (Z71Vg)

315 You know that gal, Winona? She's got a pet beaver!

Posted by: fluffy at May 16, 2011 05:23 PM (SwkdU)

316 Don't let your handicapped son stay with Uncle Ernie.

Posted by: ChuckOH at May 16, 2011 05:23 PM (Lysbr)

317 I learned from the spam that I don't want to be a croper. Whatever the hell that might be.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 16, 2011 05:24 PM (rvsdg)

318 @322 And he's big and brown, too!

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 05:24 PM (4RFKN)

319
If there's one thing in your life that's missing, what is it?

What's it time for?

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:24 PM (/AACO)

320
I learned that up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim I had to stop for the night.

Only I couldn't stop for the night. It was 1977 and the drunks in the all night diner where I was the midnight bus boy played that goddamn song about 8,000 times a shift. I'd go home and it would play in my head for hours.

Posted by: Colitas are what? at May 16, 2011 05:25 PM (u+8qs)

321 I learned that zoos protect RINOs. Bring them food, collect their feces.

Posted by: fluffy at May 16, 2011 05:25 PM (SwkdU)

322 I learned that if you grew your hair long, broke all the rules, and sit and listen to your records all day, you can be ten times richer than your big brother

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:25 PM (jGXQI)

323

Found out where Holly came from.

She didn't sound like from around here.

Posted by: bigred, Gators Got Your Granny, Inc. at May 16, 2011 05:25 PM (weBtw)

324 I learned that I am not a common sea man, I run the whole damn boat.

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 05:26 PM (4RFKN)

325

And on that note, don't let third-generation moonshinin' hillbillies do two tours in the MACV area of operations. They start making plans involving seeds from Latin America and boobytrapping hollers.

He learned a thing or two from Charlie, doncha know.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 16, 2011 05:27 PM (RPYjQ)

326
Baby, don't rock the boat.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:27 PM (5iMvt)

327 Also, I learned that "Dead Puppies aren't much fun".

Posted by: Darth Randall at May 16, 2011 05:28 PM (O/onO)

328 I learned that if you're practicing with your rock band, you don't have to go home to your girlfriend until you find "the sound", no matter how empty or alone she feels.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:28 PM (jGXQI)

329 259 Booger, you didn't learn zilch.

Did so, i learned that you can find the ghost of Elvis on black velvet while walking in memphis.

Posted by: booger at May 16, 2011 05:28 PM (9RFH1)

330 Planet earth is blue and theres nothing I can do

Posted by: Major Tom at May 16, 2011 05:28 PM (3OCZw)

331 I learned don't tug on supremans cape and don't mess around with Jim

Posted by: Krazy Kat at May 16, 2011 05:29 PM (oNphh)

332 I learned that mama has a little squeezebox, and papa just about wore it out...

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:29 PM (kUaEF)

333

Shit- mamma just took my kodachrome away.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 05:30 PM (0fzsA)

334 I learned that as a teacher, I shouldn't give a school girl a ride home, no matter how hard it's raining.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:30 PM (jGXQI)

335
I learned that Neil Sedaka is not a woman.

Posted by: Leftover Soothsayers at May 16, 2011 05:30 PM (5iMvt)

336 I learned don't bother trying to find her she's just not there.

Posted by: Thomas at May 16, 2011 05:31 PM (x0Dmg)

337 I learned that when little cable cars climb halfway to the stars, the morning fog may chill the air. I don't care...

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:32 PM (kUaEF)

338 I learned that dessert must follow a meat dish

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 05:32 PM (mS1ai)

339

Jane,

The movie infers that Billy Joe was developing homosexual impulses and could not deal. Rather a jump from such a minimalist song.

I rather thought that the Singer simply didn't see Billy Joe as marriagable, and he couldn't deal witht hat.

I learned to button-up my overcoat, and get to bed by three.

Posted by: Bob Mulroy at May 16, 2011 05:32 PM (c84YR)

340 I learned that nobody has seen my old friend John and they sure as hell can't tell me where he's gone.

Posted by: Fiddle and Faddle at May 16, 2011 05:32 PM (u+8qs)

341

hey did you know two hours of pushin broom will get you an 8x10 2 bit room?

hobo tip of the week

Posted by: Krazy Kat at May 16, 2011 05:34 PM (oNphh)

342 I learned you can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you've a mind to.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 16, 2011 05:35 PM (rvsdg)

343 I learned who shot the sherriff. the deputy's case is still open.

Posted by: mark c at May 16, 2011 05:35 PM (SBIko)

344 I learned that PJ Harvey's legs need a certain form of attention

Posted by: weew at May 16, 2011 05:35 PM (mS1ai)

345 I learned that if you talk about the pompitous of love people will call you Maurice.

Posted by: booger at May 16, 2011 05:36 PM (9RFH1)

346 I learned that telling a girl you want her, you need her, but there ain't no way you're ever going to love her during a big snowstorm is not a good idea. She will still kick you out.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:38 PM (jGXQI)

347 I learned that a heart can be made from stone, glass, gold, rock-n-roll or 2 Wilsons.

Posted by: mark c at May 16, 2011 05:40 PM (SBIko)

348

I learned when Hooka the talking catapiller gets up and tells me where to go

I should go ask Alice

Posted by: Krazy Kat at May 16, 2011 05:40 PM (oNphh)

349 2 out of 3 might be an average of .667, but it just isn't good enough for some women.

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 05:40 PM (4RFKN)

350 I learned iffin you want to impress the hippie babes, you gotta look wild and weird and creepy- Iffin, Iffin Iffin, yeah yeah yeah!

Posted by: Mick at May 16, 2011 05:42 PM (rrkE9)

351 I learned how to talk dirty in Hawaiian. "Lay your coconut on my Tiki"

Posted by: Schmeng at May 16, 2011 05:43 PM (7HnXA)

352 I learned that when the Moon lights up the sky like a big pizza pie, that's amore!

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:43 PM (kUaEF)

353 Fat bottomed girls make the rockin' world go round !!

Posted by: Thats just crazy at May 16, 2011 05:44 PM (3OCZw)

354

I learned that people are strange

When you're a stranger

And that faces are ugly, when you're alone

But I always knew that women seemed wicked, when I was unwanted

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes..... at May 16, 2011 05:44 PM (sJTmU)

355 I learned you just might pick up my magic sticks.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 16, 2011 05:44 PM (HBqDo)

356 "And they also say, "Debbie Gibson is gay."" How dare they. Can they not hear the foolish beat of my heart?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 16, 2011 05:45 PM (y/+eD)

357 Yeah, but flat bottom shells make the taco world go 'round.

Posted by: wtp at May 16, 2011 05:45 PM (4RFKN)

358

I should go ask Alice

Posted by: Krazy Kat

Freakin' Alice

She's ten feet tall! No, you go ask her something, she's freakin' ten feet tall!

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes..... at May 16, 2011 05:45 PM (sJTmU)

359 @358: I learned that eastcoast girls, well the way they kiss... They keep their boyfriends warm at night!

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:47 PM (kUaEF)

360 I learned to never steal the candy from a laughing baby's mouth. Loud screaming will ensue.

Posted by: ziptie at May 16, 2011 05:49 PM (nj7LO)

361 365 "And they also say, "Debbie Gibson is gay."" Only in my dreams. It was only in my dreams!

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 16, 2011 05:49 PM (kUaEF)

362 Sometimes, I've learned, you have to beat on the brat with a baseball bat....

Posted by: Joejm65 at May 16, 2011 05:49 PM (Q1zYv)

363 and my soul has been psychedelicized...

Posted by: rtw at May 16, 2011 05:52 PM (Spm+1)

364 I learned that, when borrowing Dad's car to take that special girl on a date, it is very important to drive safely.

Posted by: J. Frank at May 16, 2011 05:53 PM (u+8qs)

365 Cool Czech @371: Only in my dreams. It was only in my dreams!
Dittos.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 16, 2011 05:54 PM (xqhoO)

366 I learned how to walk like a man, walk like an Egyptian, do the walk of life and run on empty.

Posted by: mark c at May 16, 2011 05:56 PM (SBIko)

367
I learned the title of the song counts most.

Posted by: Nigel Tufnel at May 16, 2011 05:57 PM (u+8qs)

368 I learned that Mary Lou is a woman to avoid as she'll take your diamond ring, watch & chain and the keys to your Cadillac car. But when Betty Lou's gettin' out at night, all the men in town go insane to the point that the drug store has to close.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 05:59 PM (jGXQI)

369 I learned "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!".

From a communist. Cause they never do what they're told.

er somethin

Posted by: kdny at May 16, 2011 06:00 PM (ECt2r)

370 I learned that it's fun, fun, fun 'til her Daddy takes the T-Bird away.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at May 16, 2011 06:01 PM (5QW3T)

371

I learned that despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.

And also, that if you wanna run cool, you've got to run with heavy, heavy fuel.

Posted by: Reactionary at May 16, 2011 06:01 PM (4nbyM)

372 I found that she don't love me, she loves my automobile.

but it's ok cause she asks me what it would take to put the top down.

Posted by: kdny at May 16, 2011 06:02 PM (ECt2r)

373 385 I found that she don't love me, she loves my automobile. -- Fix her up with Eric Clapton. He gets off on '57 Chevy's.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 06:03 PM (jGXQI)

374 I discovered that for our hill (and perhaps no other) men would kill. Why? They do not know.

Posted by: kdny at May 16, 2011 06:03 PM (ECt2r)

375 I'm not sure it's the same girl as 385 but I do know she wants a pearl necklace. And that really don't cost that much.

Posted by: kdny at May 16, 2011 06:05 PM (ECt2r)

376

I learned that we could be married. Then we'd be happpyyyyy.

Actually, what I learned was that the Beach Boys were completely full of shit.

Posted by: Ted K. at May 16, 2011 06:05 PM (P6gZI)

377 I learned when hitchin' on a twilight train, aint much I care to take along 'cept maybe a song. And you don't need to say please to no man for a happy tune.

Posted by: Mick at May 16, 2011 06:07 PM (rrkE9)

378 It's important to learnz.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 06:09 PM (0fzsA)

379 I learned that after you draw out all your hard-earned cash, beware of a man named Mack.

Posted by: Ted K. at May 16, 2011 06:09 PM (P6gZI)

380

I learned you Don't mess around with Jim...

...unless your pool shootin' boy named Willie McCoy who also goes by "Slim"

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 16, 2011 06:11 PM (4ABat)

381

I learned there are a lot of "nice" girls in LaGrange, Tx...

Aw shit, they're closed.

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 16, 2011 06:13 PM (4ABat)

382 Between the mulatto, the albino and the mosquito, my libido is....Yeah!

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at May 16, 2011 06:16 PM (0fzsA)

383 I learned that I'm going to open up your gate, some velvet morning when I am either sober or heterosexual.

Posted by: George Orwell at May 16, 2011 06:20 PM (AZGON)

384 72 I learned to watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow

Posted by: dananjcon at May 16, 2011 08:41 PM (FzVlt)

Great Googlie Mooglie!

(if it hasnt already been said)

Posted by: Gushka at May 16, 2011 06:21 PM (93zw2)

385 Lemon- Argle Bargle !

Posted by: kdny at May 16, 2011 06:21 PM (ECt2r)

386 I learned that golden showers aren't so good for electric roto-plookers...

Posted by: Joe at May 16, 2011 06:22 PM (0GpN4)

387 i've learned that if they ever find a cure for a love hangover, you don't want it.

Posted by: Sgt. Batguano at May 16, 2011 06:22 PM (m6OUa)

388 I learned to "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone,
that's where they expect it least"

We call it blogging now.

Posted by: Ace Tomato at May 16, 2011 06:23 PM (23p1u)

389 If you're in Chicago and looking to find Jesus, he just left.

Posted by: El Lurker Grande at May 16, 2011 06:26 PM (bgTkZ)

390

breaking up is hard to do and in extreme cases may turn your brown eyes blue.

Posted by: Sgt. Batguano at May 16, 2011 06:27 PM (m6OUa)

391 310 I learned that mmmbop is not a real word

Posted by: chemjeff at May 16, 2011 09:19 PM (CXXA5)

But Hanson is the real deal. I love Hanson.

Posted by: HotinNC at May 16, 2011 06:28 PM (SQvIY)

392 I've learned that once the Pinkertons find you, it's really hard to run from a starving family.

Posted by: Bill H at May 16, 2011 06:30 PM (M7vwQ)

393 I still haven't found what I'm looking for, y'all.

Posted by: HotinNC at May 16, 2011 06:31 PM (SQvIY)

394 I learned that ignoring your mother's advice and getting sent to jail makes for the best country song ever

Posted by: The Hag at May 16, 2011 06:33 PM (NnUUy)

395 i once heard that tennessee chickens and louisiana lambs co-habitate the Dixie Land.

Posted by: Sgt. Batguano at May 16, 2011 06:34 PM (m6OUa)

396 I learned that I'll be the first to bossa nova, about 17000 kilometers above Los Angeles.

Posted by: George Orwell at May 16, 2011 06:35 PM (AZGON)

397 I learned that playing your guitar on the MTV will get you money for nothing and your chicks for free (though I'm not entirely sure that's true anymore).

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 16, 2011 06:40 PM (tJBi7)

398

1) Do not tug on Superman's cape

2) Do not spit into the wind

3) Do not attempt to pull the mask from the Lone Ranger

4) And for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT mess with Slim.

Posted by: Bill H at May 16, 2011 06:42 PM (M7vwQ)

399 I learned that Lucille doesn't care about her family, Ruby needs some action, to always avoid women who ask if you'll be their Dixie Chicken, Rosealia wears a mask and a cape and Michelle can fly high but Rhiannon is a witch, Nikita is a commie but Nikki's in the corner with a black coat on, not to mess with Janie (she's got a gun), Christine is just 16 but that doesn't seem to matter, Sister Golden Hair has a surprise that you'll keep thinking about, Gloria is about 5'4" and everyone has her number, for some reason people run to sweet Melissa, Kyrie owns a thesaurus, the best thing to do about a Spooky girl who can't make her mind up is to propose, although Alison married a friend of mine who left her fingers in the wedding cake, while Amanda is either a very patient woman who lights up one's life or someone you need to take by surprise to make her realize her feelings, Lorelei is moving in, Sara is either building a house, smiling too much, or has storms brewing in her eyes, Maria can take your blues away, either Sherry will come out tonight or Sally will lay down with you if you beg enough, Roxanne and Peg will lay down for the right price, Little Suzi is a lot like me, Jersey Girls like to go to carnivals but Leah is a sideshow, and while Veronica is crazy, Jackie Blue is not aware of what she's doing, and Carrie doesn't realize things change. And if none of these work out right for you, Rosie's alright and still wears your ring.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 06:42 PM (jGXQI)

400 Tennessee lambs are justified but ancient, and they like to roam the land.

Posted by: Mick at May 16, 2011 06:42 PM (rrkE9)

401

I've also found that a phone operator can be very helpful in placing a call. Sometimes I'll even let her keep the dime.

That is, if I can find a usable payphone...

Posted by: Bill H at May 16, 2011 06:46 PM (M7vwQ)

402 And if none of these work out right for you, Rosie's alright and still wears your ring.

Posted by: Doc at May 16, 2011 10:42 PM (jGXQI)

I don't remember all that in 88 Lines About 44 Women.

Posted by: Bill H at May 16, 2011 06:48 PM (M7vwQ)

403 i've learned that sometimes she bop, somtimes he bop, sometimes a they bop... apparently me should never bop.

Posted by: Sgt. Batguano at May 16, 2011 06:51 PM (m6OUa)

404
I just found out that the man from Mars stop eating cars and bars and now he only eats guitars.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 16, 2011 06:54 PM (NNf5U)

405

Well I learned alot about my friends. They call me Maurice, they all drive Porsches, they spend their time in low places, they're rowdy and they're coming over tonight, and winter spring, summer or fall all I have to do is call.

Posted by: Deanna at May 16, 2011 07:22 PM (uX4zJ)

406 When you're learning to fly
without any wings
coming down
is the hardest thing.

Posted by: Orville Petty at May 16, 2011 07:28 PM (rrkE9)

407 I've learned That you will get the rockin pneumonia and the boogie woogie bluse from kissing girls that are too tall. To thank God and Greyhound that she's gone. That lawyers, guns and money will get me out of this. and Roland is still a kick ass Thompson gunner even without his head.

Posted by: Thersherman at May 16, 2011 07:34 PM (GkYyh)

408 Old time rock and roll never forgets, it just can't remember what.

Posted by: Thersherman at May 16, 2011 07:37 PM (GkYyh)

409 Well, something I 'gathered', not learned from pop music is that there IS someone to give you SOME shame in the desert. and give the goddam horse a name, it doesn't cost anything. What if you need to call it to you or something?

Posted by: docweasel at May 16, 2011 07:54 PM (G92eR)

410 With the lights out, it's less dangerous. But don't tell Courtney. Now where is my shot gun?

Posted by: Curt at May 16, 2011 09:12 PM (sR3hB)

411 I learned that there's something messed up about the soil in Montana that allows oral care product to grow there in plenty. I learned that the devil gets freaked out if you repeat mild profanity in his presence too often. And I learned that kids can grow up okay even if you do stick them with names that guy in the Johnny Cash song would lose his mind at. (Although that last part didn't actually come from a song, I guess.)

Posted by: ykw at May 16, 2011 10:11 PM (66dZi)

412

I have learned:

...strip me of everything, including my pride

But spirit is something that no one destroys

And the sound that I'm hearing is only the sound

Of the low spark of high-heeled boys

Posted by: Case at May 16, 2011 11:50 PM (0K+Kw)

413

I learned that Love is a Battlefild.

If that's true, then it's OK to use Sex as a Weapon.

Posted by: FireHorse at May 17, 2011 05:55 AM (Rq1/g)

414 It's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done.

Posted by: FireHorse at May 17, 2011 05:58 AM (Rq1/g)

415

Premise: Children are our future.

Premise: Hell is for children.

Conclusion: ???

Posted by: FireHorse at May 17, 2011 05:59 AM (Rq1/g)

416 Even if you go whining down I-80 at 120, your '60 Cadillac probably still won't make it to the Eisenhower Tunnel before the fog rolls in. --- If you skip on school, chances are you'll either wind up meeting a bushy bushy blond or you'll end up feeding ducks with a bun. It depends on which pond you're at.

Posted by: Bob's Seeker at May 17, 2011 06:46 AM (JIhtY)

417 I learned to put it in my pants with my cupcakes.

Posted by: Anita Baker at May 17, 2011 08:02 AM (JIhtY)

418 fashion shoes fashion shoes fashion shoes

Posted by: heels shoes at May 19, 2011 01:08 AM (gxUU9)

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