Ace of Spades HQ

January 26, 2011

NASA To Announce Some Big Thing Today at 1PM
— Ace

Bear in mind, they did this a few months ago, and wound up announcing something that turned out to seem not-very-big at first, and then, when details were released, people began challenging their conclusions and the quality of their tests.

Cynics proposed their own theory: NASA knows the budget-cutters are eyeing them up and are attempting to make a public case for continued funding at current levels, and are rushing out big (?) stories to let the public know they're still Very Important.

They are making a fresh announcement, hyped as a window into the beginnings of the universe, but it seems it's just the discovery of the oldest galaxy ever seen, which is cool, certainly, but one of the galaxies we find has to be the oldest, right? So it's this one; it beats the old record.

But the old one was seriously old --

NASA hasn't revealed anything else about the discovery, but late last year Hubble sighted a galaxy scientists say dates back to when the earth was only 600 million years old.

So the new winner will be, well, even older than that. (It could just be they've decided that a particular star in that galaxy is the oldest star.)

This is cool stuff and I do like the Hubble and Kepler telescopes. (The Kepler has spotted like 400 exosolar planets in its short life -- pretty cool.)

It's not so much that I'm against any of this, but I am feeling annoyed that (it seems to me) they are deliberately trying to make headlines and I have to think the actual science is coming in a distant second to politics.

Posted by: Ace at 06:45 AM | Comments (202)
Post contains 293 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Maybe that arsenic life form they unveiled a few months ago broke out of the NASA labs and is running wild in downdown Atlanta. I smell mini-series!

Posted by: Ben at January 26, 2011 06:47 AM (wuv1c)

2 I'm guessing either:
1) new proof that Muslims were the first to walk on the moon; or
2) new proof that the heavy snows and cold this winter are caused by human flatulence

Posted by: Dirty Sanchez at January 26, 2011 06:48 AM (BZEkR)

3 "We're building a high speed train to the moon!"

Posted by: PJ at January 26, 2011 06:48 AM (QdxaI)

4 New Muslim outreach initiative?

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 06:48 AM (UwFY0)

5 Perhaps they will announce they were wrong about AGW.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 06:48 AM (eOSNP)

6 *NEWS*NEWS*NEWS*

We're fkd.

*NEWS*NEWS*NEWS*

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 06:49 AM (x3YFz)

7 NASA will be announcing new discoveries in Muslim confidence building techniques.

In trials, 7 of 10 Muslims felt better after being handed a wad of cash. More funding is needed.

Posted by: bill at January 26, 2011 06:49 AM (VGEci)

Maybe they found the obilisk

Posted by: Ben at January 26, 2011 06:50 AM (wuv1c)

9 Perhaps they will announce more 600Â°F temps in Lake Michigan. Extreme superheat that.

Zero budget in 2011/2012.

Posted by: Vic at January 26, 2011 06:51 AM (M9Ie6)

10 Maybe NASA could come up with a reliable 3-day weather forecast. That would be peachy, since I just spent 3 hours getting halfway to work and then turning back. So, yeah. Fund them for a decent weather forecast. (I love the science NASA does. I'm just a bit pissed off right now.)

Posted by: joncelli at January 26, 2011 06:51 AM (MLQL2)

11 hey but the Dow is up to 12,000 on OBama's speech.

Posted by: Vic at January 26, 2011 06:51 AM (M9Ie6)

12 James Hansen has resigned from NASA and filed for Chinese citizenship.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 06:51 AM (eOSNP)

13 We spotted Galaxies that are 10+ billion years old many years ago. We are in one right now, in fact. Maybe they found an ancient high-speed train system on Mars.

Posted by: eman at January 26, 2011 06:51 AM (n0WLs)

14 They've discovered another galaxy far superior to ours, populated by...you guessed it...Muslims.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 06:52 AM (UOM48)

15 They have received the first message from ET.It was from Jar Jar Binks.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 06:53 AM (eOSNP)

I hope they annouce the Zodiac calendar is put back in place.

I don't want to be a Pisces.

........all bummed out !

Posted by: Aries FOREVER at January 26, 2011 06:53 AM (V92KK)

17 BREAKING: NASA finds oldest galaxy, unemployment plummets!

Posted by: nickless at January 26, 2011 06:53 AM (MMC8r)

18 They discovered a ninth planet in our Solar System and propose the name Pluto.

Posted by: eman at January 26, 2011 06:53 AM (n0WLs)

19 We spotted Galaxies that are 10+ billion years old many years ago.

We are in one right now, in fact.

And thanks to the Muslims' discovery of zero, we're able to tell you about it!

Posted by: arhooley, conflicted Californian at January 26, 2011 06:54 AM (XrW0V)

20 One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 06:54 AM (S5YRY)

21

NASA hasn't revealed anything else about the discovery, but late last year Hubble sighted a galaxy scientists say dates back to when the earth THE UNIVERSE was only 600 million years old.

Fixed it for the idiot reporter

13.1 billion was the oldest galaxy. What's next?

Posted by: s'moron at January 26, 2011 06:55 AM (JMY4C)

22 If NASA was serious about science they would have fires James Hanson long ago.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at January 26, 2011 06:55 AM (ThrOu)

23 20 I ,for one,welcome our new insect overlords.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 06:55 AM (eOSNP)

24 Maybe they are gonna launch a new Sputnik.

Posted by: Luca Brasi at January 26, 2011 06:55 AM (YmPwQ)

25 NASA has discovered Earth owes a frakton of cash in Galactic Empire back taxes. Failure to file penalties are included.

Posted by: eman at January 26, 2011 06:55 AM (n0WLs)

26 A comet composed of Rearden Metal is on a collision course with Earth.

If we mine it, we can blanket the globe with High Speed Trains!

Posted by: NASA PR Spokesman at January 26, 2011 06:56 AM (GwPRU)

27 They've discovered that the dinosaurs were made extinct by their addiction to fossil fuels and disdain for electric cars and high speed rail.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 06:57 AM (eOSNP)

Yeah. After NASA came out wholeheartedly in support of Globalfrigginwarming, with no fukkin' science whatsoever, I sorta got that impression myself.

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 06:57 AM (OlN4e)

29 I'm totally convinced Dear Leader is a Visitor. Maybe NASA has discovered his home planet.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 06:57 AM (UOM48)

30 Alahu Ackbar!!!

Posted by: Saudi Cleric at January 26, 2011 06:57 AM (SJ6/3)

31 Henry Waxman has received a recall to his home world.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 06:57 AM (S5YRY)

32 NASA finds giant Pie in the Sky following Obama's SOTU address.

Posted by: nickless at January 26, 2011 06:57 AM (MMC8r)

33 The Abe Vigoda Galaxy. 13.1 billion years old. Still kicking ass.

Posted by: eman at January 26, 2011 06:58 AM (n0WLs)

34 NASA has discovered,on further review,that muslims were the first men to land on the moon.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 06:58 AM (eOSNP)

35 NASA discovered that the O'Ba'Ma civilization of Beta Reticuli is going to invade unless we build high-speed trains to propitiate them.

Posted by: joncelli at January 26, 2011 06:58 AM (MLQL2)

36 Werner Von Braun was a muslim.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 06:59 AM (eOSNP)

37 The three dimensional bio-molecules produced at simulated micro-gravity mimic those found in the human body. So we've got that going for us. Which is nice......

Posted by: nikkolai at January 26, 2011 06:59 AM (sseBa)

38 A little known fact: Einstein was a Muslim.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 07:00 AM (UOM48)

39 34 Them camels sure can jump!

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 07:00 AM (UwFY0)

I question the timing.

I've become so cynical lately, perhaps they'll anounce that the moon landing was entirely faked. They will now be working on actually getting there with the influx of new spending that Obowmao is giving them for the inspiration they provided for his latest and greatest speech.

Posted by: runningrn at January 26, 2011 07:00 AM (ihSHD)

41 "when the earth was only 600 million years old." Wait, what? I guess they NBC idjits mean "Universe" not "Earth". Surprised they didn't just say "NY", it's their Universe.

Posted by: Rodent at January 26, 2011 07:00 AM (jUeGo)

42 Translation of Obama's 2011 State of the Union

Happy reading!

Posted by: The Mega Independent at January 26, 2011 07:00 AM (gVk66)

43 When I was in college in the 70s, light rail was all the rage--not built, of course, just discussed. Now here we are, 40 years later and massively insolvent, and light rail is back. F*cked we are.

Posted by: Dirty Sanchez at January 26, 2011 07:00 AM (BZEkR)

44 The Mayans were correct.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 07:00 AM (S5YRY)

45 I love the Hubble and all, but this is not news. It's more likely an attempt to seem relevant do they don't get their funding cut.

Posted by: Mandy P. at January 26, 2011 07:01 AM (vGmv/)

46 They found a galaxy that looks like Allah but cannot show it to the world until the twelfth Imam shows up and says it is OK.

Posted by: s☺mej☼e at January 26, 2011 07:01 AM (pNQJY)

WTF? We've seen galaxies a lot, lot farther away in space and time than from 4 billion years ago ---about 13 billion light years away, IIRC.

Since the Milky Way's age is about 13.6 billion years, I'm wondering if the discovery relates to a galaxy 600 million years older than it, not the Earth.

Posted by: Harlow Shapley at January 26, 2011 07:01 AM (ghc+/)

48 NASA is going to announce the discovery of a highly advanced planet populated by Muslims.....whose sole mode of transportation is high-speed rail.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 07:01 AM (UOM48)

49 Get your ass to Mars.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 26, 2011 07:01 AM (j7k0g)

50 The International Space Station is now a GLBT research center.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:01 AM (eOSNP)

51 NASA has discovered the remnants of a once Galaxy-wide civilization that is now reduced to occasional gigs at weddings and birthday parties. Kids love the balloon animals.

Posted by: eman at January 26, 2011 07:02 AM (n0WLs)

52 Just you wait until we have light high-speed solar rail. That'll show you h8ters!

Posted by: The guy who thinks trolleys will save the world at January 26, 2011 07:02 AM (MLQL2)

53 If the announcement is that or exoplanets they needn't bother. Nobody gives a shit.
Get on with the real job which is traveling to and terraforming the planets we have right here.

Posted by: Rocks at January 26, 2011 07:02 AM (Q1lie)

54 I feel a disturbance in the force, high speed rail to the moon I see.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at January 26, 2011 07:02 AM (SJ6/3)

55 New photos from the Hubble Space Telescope reveal that it's turtles, all the way down.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 07:03 AM (S5YRY)

56 Yawn.....

Posted by: Tami at January 26, 2011 07:03 AM (VuLos)

57 They've received a message from an alien Federation.We must control global warming or be destroyed.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:03 AM (eOSNP)

A new formula of Windex will improve resolution on the Hubble telescope by a factor of 5!

It's a combo of old Windex, Orange Glo & Tang.

Posted by: Kortezzi at January 26, 2011 07:04 AM (piR98)

59 Maybe they found Obama's college transcripts?

In a galaxy far, far away....

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 26, 2011 07:04 AM (9hSKh)

60 The more politicized NASA becomes, the less relevant it becomes.You would think those fuckheads would understand that.

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 07:04 AM (OlN4e)

61 Is anyone covering the rioting in Egypt? I don't want to miss any of the carnage.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at January 26, 2011 07:04 AM (SJ6/3)

62 Attention All Planets of the Solar Federation,
Attention All Planets of the Solar Federation,
Attention All Planets of the Solar Federation,

We have assumed control.
We have assumed control.
We have assumed control.

Posted by: nickless at January 26, 2011 07:05 AM (MMC8r)

63 People of Earth, Attention. People of Earth, Attention.

Look to your Sun for a warning. Look to your Sun for a warning.

Posted by: ominous music at January 26, 2011 07:05 AM (S5YRY)

64 SQUEEEAAAAL! MOOOOOOOOOOAN! SQUEEEEK!

Posted by: The weird whale aliens from that Star Trek movie at January 26, 2011 07:05 AM (MLQL2)

65 Hopefully there annoucement is something similar to the plot of the short story, "We'll Remember it for you Wholesale".

Posted by: Ben at January 26, 2011 07:05 AM (wuv1c)

66 They have found Elvis and Tupac.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 26, 2011 07:05 AM (yQWNf)

67 Obama's missing records are being downloaded at high speed from a planet orbiting Zeta Reticuli.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:05 AM (eOSNP)

68 57 They've received a message from an alien Federation.We must control global warming or be destroyed.

Wasn't that the gist of Bruce Coville's "My Teacher Is An Alien" book series? That humanity is a blight on the galaxy at large and we should be destroyed before we reach the stars?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 26, 2011 07:06 AM (9hSKh)

69 NASA has successfully mounted a FOR SALE sign on the Moon. So far, just drive-by lookers. No calls.

Posted by: eman at January 26, 2011 07:06 AM (n0WLs)

70 Seriously, Maybe they're going to announce the Betelgeuse is collapsing and that we will have two suns for a short period of time.

Posted by: Ben at January 26, 2011 07:06 AM (wuv1c)

71 We've decided to announce that James Hansen is a fucking asshole.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 07:06 AM (MMC8r)

72 They found the photon belt. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photon_belt

Posted by: ANA-CHRON: DA at January 26, 2011 07:06 AM (6fER6)

73 NASA has finally found a society where socialism works. Too bad it's a termite mound.

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 07:06 AM (OlN4e)

74 Maybe they'll propose some sort of star trek.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 26, 2011 07:06 AM (4XNMg)

75 61 They will forget about the government and team up to kill infidels.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:06 AM (eOSNP)

76 NASA has just discovered a ginormous meteor heading straight to earth. It will impact around 2:00 p.m.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 07:07 AM (UOM48)

77 18 They discovered a ninth planet in our Solar System and propose the name Pluto. Posted by: eman at January 26, 2011 10:53 AM

+1

Posted by: jcjimi at January 26, 2011 07:07 AM (ay6+/)

78 69 NASA has successfully mounted a FOR SALE sign on the Moon. So far, just drive-by lookers. No calls. Posted by: eman at January 26, 2011 11:06 AM (n0WLs) They need to mention the refinished basement. People dig that.

Posted by: joncelli at January 26, 2011 07:07 AM (MLQL2)

79 Hope it's not a giant cube.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 07:07 AM (UwFY0)

80 To be an old galaxy it would have to be very close to the estimated beginning of the universe 14 -15 billion years ago. A galaxy which formed when the Earth was young is quite unspectacular, age wise.

Posted by: Beagle at January 26, 2011 07:07 AM (sOtz/)

81 OT - hmmmm

No Talks With Terrorists - Putin.

Short story, but at the end:

The premier also said the preliminary information showed the Domodedovo blast was not linked to Russia's North Caucasus Republic of Chechnya.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 26, 2011 07:07 AM (9hSKh)

82 68 Yes and also the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:07 AM (eOSNP)

83 Going to cut the ridiculous admission prices to Cape Canaveral - for the children.

Posted by: Jean at January 26, 2011 07:08 AM (HKVGZ)

84 I thought Pluto was demoted to Dwarf status.

Posted by: Gimli Gloin's Son at January 26, 2011 07:08 AM (SJ6/3)

85 They've found a carbon neutral waty to launch rockets.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:09 AM (eOSNP)

86 The breaking news is that the Hubble Space Telescope has peered into a Black Hole and went back 5 Billion Years in time to the creation of the earth and has discovered.......................... Obama Created the earth and George Bush is Satan!!!

Posted by: George Jackson at January 26, 2011 07:09 AM (By4wu)

87 NASA has just discovered a ginormous meteor heading straight to earth. It will impact around 2:00 p.m.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 11:07 AM (UOM4

Is that eastern time cuz if so, I have some credit cards to run up.

Posted by: Tami at January 26, 2011 07:09 AM (VuLos)

88 81 Gotta hand it to Pooty-Poot. He doesn't fuck around with terrorists. Unlike Dear Leader. *cough* Ft. Hood *cough*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 07:09 AM (UOM48)

89 84 - Shortist!

Posted by: Jean at January 26, 2011 07:09 AM (aemFw)

90 The new heavy lifter will be a giant soda bottle that they will drop an enormous Mentos into.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:10 AM (eOSNP)

91 They have a new 5 pillars agenda

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2011 07:11 AM (1Jaio)

92 They're going to build their own mosque??

Posted by: beedubya, just an excitable boy at January 26, 2011 07:11 AM (AnTyA)

They've found a carbon neutral waty to launch rockets.

Also, all materials will now be "green". Rockets will be protected by renewable paper goods instead of man made products.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 07:11 AM (UwFY0)

#61

I just checked Egyptian Sandmonkey's blog. Nothing since the Wikileaks story. Some bloggers are claiming Mubarak got out of the country while the media reports he's cracking down harder.

Change! (includes installing Islamist governments which are enemies of the US -- funny word, change -- a lot like "great" in the wand shop context)

Posted by: Beagle at January 26, 2011 07:11 AM (sOtz/)

95 Are we sure it's a discovery, and not a PR bit about Rep. Giffords' husband?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at January 26, 2011 07:11 AM (4ucxv)

96 earth like exo-solar planet discovered by decoding the secret Koranic code.

Also, all women on the planet stop aging at 9, all explosions accomplish peaceful goals, and there are 72 goats per man.

Posted by: ef at January 26, 2011 07:12 AM (FrdE0)

97 Yes We Can Haz Space Trainz!

Posted by: NASA PR Department at January 26, 2011 07:12 AM (5Rurq)

This. The career scientists at NASA may still be about the science, but the administrators are only about the politics. It's a shame.

It's time for the government to let private industry take over the "space race." I can see NASA remaining, but in a much smaller capacity.

Posted by: MWR at January 26, 2011 07:12 AM (4df7R)

99 NASA will announce a going out of businness sale. Anybody need a Saturn 5 (only slightly used)?

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 07:12 AM (OlN4e)

100 Maybe NASA's upcoming announcement is why the stock market keeps going up? There's no other reason I can see...well, except that the greedheads are manipulating stock prices and market activity to keep the money flowing to themselves and their paper-shuffling buddyroos....

My guess: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 11:07 AM is right. The meteor will be named Barack Hussein Obama and will impact on the western part of the globe (including Israel), leaving the Muzzie nations (and our Chinese BFFs safe and happy.

Posted by: MrScribbler© at January 26, 2011 07:12 AM (Ulu3i)

101 NASA = PR machine.

Posted by: JEANNE at January 26, 2011 07:12 AM (GdalM)

102 Are they going to fake another moon landing?

Posted by: George Noory at January 26, 2011 07:12 AM (SJ6/3)

103

They found out that Ebola isn't just an alien..he's an alien alien

Posted by: beedubya, just an excitable boy at January 26, 2011 07:13 AM (AnTyA)

104 The premier also said the preliminary information showed the Domodedovo blast was not linked to Russia's North Caucasus Republic of Chechnya. Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 26, 2011 11:07 AM (9hSKh) Could be Dagestanis. There are lots of pissed of muslims in Russia, not just chechens.

Posted by: joncelli at January 26, 2011 07:14 AM (MLQL2)

105 High speed rail to mars?

Posted by: ef at January 26, 2011 07:14 AM (FrdE0)

106 They have good news and bad news.The good news is that the earth will be saved from AGW.The bad news is that a comet will extinguish all life on earth.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:14 AM (eOSNP)

107 Maybe they are announcing the production of a new rocket, because as far as i know we have no way of getting men into space anymore

Posted by: Ben at January 26, 2011 07:14 AM (wuv1c)

108 Could be Dagestanis. There are lots of pissed of muslims in Russia, not just chechens.

Posted by: joncelli at January 26, 2011 11:14 AM (MLQL2)

But somehow Russians will blame Israel and the US.

Posted by: Beagle at January 26, 2011 07:15 AM (sOtz/)

109 Could be Dagestanis. There are lots of pissed of muslims in Russia, not just chechens.

Posted by: joncelli at January 26, 2011 11:14 AM (MLQL2)

When you find a place where the muslims AREN'T pissed off, let me know.

Posted by: Tami at January 26, 2011 07:16 AM (VuLos)

110 A satellite has crashed andbrought the Andromeda Strain to earth.Or maybe the blob.Either way,we are boned.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:16 AM (eOSNP)

111 Putin takes it in the can from the IslamoFascists again. He is a closet MetroSexual.

Posted by: George Noory at January 26, 2011 07:16 AM (SJ6/3)

112

They are installing a new electronic filing system that can be accessed through NASA Iphones?

Posted by: Ben at January 26, 2011 07:16 AM (wuv1c)

113

A satellite has crashed andbrought the Andromeda Strain to earth.Or maybe the blob.Either way,we are boned

We'll get that dreamy Ricky Schroeder on the case

Posted by: Ben at January 26, 2011 07:17 AM (wuv1c)

114 How do you figure the Joos got the Egyptians to riot?

Posted by: Ron Paul at January 26, 2011 07:17 AM (SJ6/3)

115 They are going to announce that they are ditching that nasty old rocket fuel and from now on all spacecraft will be powered by Hopeychangey (pigshit).

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 07:17 AM (OlN4e)

116 New regulations for salmon in a tube?

Posted by: beedubya, just an excitable boy at January 26, 2011 07:17 AM (AnTyA)

117 They are announcing an end to space exploration and focusing all resouces on high speed rail design.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:17 AM (eOSNP)

118 Are we gonna be blown away in five years? Hey, that's my line. So is this one -- I am grateful to have served as Michigan's governor during this, the most challenging era in living memory. That's exactly why I am immediately relocating to California. The Golden State is in immediate need of my services.

Posted by: That's PROFESSOR Jennifer Granholm, bitch!!!!1!11 at January 26, 2011 07:18 AM (le5qc)

119 It'll be a presentation explaining how Muslims invented every good thing ever.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 26, 2011 07:18 AM (k4bdL)

120 NASA= Not A Serious Agency.

Their primary mission was doomed from the moment it was decided the Shuttle was the path to the future.

Posted by: krakatoa at January 26, 2011 07:18 AM (a0Jhx)

121 They are teaming up with the Postal service to make mail delivery even more inefficient and expensive.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:19 AM (eOSNP)

122 Let me know when they discover a planet full of female aliens that look like Marissa Miller and they have no males to reproduce with, and desperately need a way to sustain their population.

Green skin optional.

Posted by: EC at January 26, 2011 07:20 AM (mAhn3)

123 As and adjunct to the President's Back To The Future rail initiative, NASA will develop high-speed hot-air balloons.

Posted by: t-bird at January 26, 2011 07:20 AM (FcR7P)

124 They are announcing a partnership with SEIU to unionize the agency.

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 07:20 AM (OlN4e)

125 They are going to throw another rock at the moon for some reason.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at January 26, 2011 07:22 AM (TpXEI)

126 They've discovered the planet Barackula, populated by tall, skinny, thin-skinned, chain-smoking metrosexual douchebags. And fat-assed women.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 26, 2011 07:22 AM (UOM48)

127 Loretta Sanchez has been accepted for astronaut training.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at January 26, 2011 07:23 AM (/joDP)

128 They discovered the plant Kolob. And you know who this helps...

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt, gazing into my Centrist navel at January 26, 2011 07:23 AM (/U/Mr)

129 In other news, the Office of the Vice President just announced that this morning Joe Biden pinched a loaf that looked exactly like "Cooter" from The Dukes of Hazard.

Posted by: angler at January 26, 2011 07:24 AM (SwjAj)

130 Thanks to our visionary $15-billion dollar, thirteen year program, we've developed a way for astronauts to download pictures of ants sorting tiny screws in space onto their Android phones.

Posted by: NASA, not wasting your money, no siree at January 26, 2011 07:24 AM (Gx9Qb)

131

They are teaming up with the Postal service to make mail delivery even more inefficient and expensive.

All mail, domestic and foreign will be first routed to a central processing center on the moon where it will be hand cancelled with a cool cosmic stamp.

Posted by: runningrn at January 26, 2011 07:24 AM (ihSHD)

132

Thought that CBS approval poll looked funny:

27% republicans

44% democrats

31% independents

Assume they watched the CBS coverage.

Knowledge Networks is also a client of Barak Obama:

The U.S. General Services Administration (GSA) has awarded Knowledge Networks a 20-year contract for conducting survey services for the Federal Government. Under this five-year base award, with three renewable five-year options, Knowledge Networks becomes a pre-approved, federally-qualified vendor within the General Services Administration Schedule System for SIN 874-3 Survey Services. By using this GSA contract (Contract No. GS-10F-0098W), Federal agencies can now conduct streamlinedcontracting directly with Knowledge Networks. Exercising responsible asset management, GSA delivers superior quality acquisition services to leverage the buying power of the federal government which results in best value for taxpayers and its federal customers.

Director of the company served 10 years as vice president of communications at Fannie Mae.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 07:25 AM (UwFY0)

133 NASA to announce special mission to take Ogabe to the moon for a round of golf. It's the only place he hasn't played 18 holes yet since he's been president.

Posted by: runningrn at January 26, 2011 07:26 AM (ihSHD)

134 They discovered a new form of transportation that will end our dependence on foriegn oil, Stagecoaches

Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2011 07:27 AM (hVDig)

135

No, NASA will announce today that people we've been in contact with for quite a while, a race known as the Ferengi, have decided to help us with our CO2 global Warming problem, for a nominal fee.

President Obama considers this an Investment, and it has been announced that Rahm's (hmmm... can we get some intern to check the spelling on this, thanks Editor) Brother, Quark, will reopen the Chicago based CO2 exchange.

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 26, 2011 07:28 AM (AdK6a)

136 Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2011 11:27 AM (hVDig)

Bicycles, baby.

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt, gazing into my Centrist navel at January 26, 2011 07:28 AM (/U/Mr)

137 In honor of black history month and the historic Obama presidency,they will be launching a deep space probe with all of Obama's speeches recorded on it.Futher,they will continue updating it with every speech he gives for as long as they maintain contact with it.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:28 AM (eOSNP)

138 The Soviets reverse engineered Sputnik from Zoroastrian technology stolen from Persepolis.

Posted by: NASA PR Spokesman at January 26, 2011 07:28 AM (GwPRU)

139

Director of the company served 10 years as vice president of communications at Fannie Mae.

Have you ever noticed how many retreads from Fannie and Freddie have been recycled into jobs that are either in the government or get their funding from government? And they're always high paying, jobs of elevated status.

Posted by: runningrn at January 26, 2011 07:28 AM (ihSHD)

140 NASA to confirm that Michelle Obama's ass indeed exceeds the mass of Pluto.

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 07:29 AM (OlN4e)

141 They are preparing for the first families next vacation....in space!

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:30 AM (eOSNP)

142 @139 I have no idea what you are talking about.

Posted by: Jamie Gorelick at January 26, 2011 07:30 AM (/joDP)

143 The scientists at NASA mistakenly identified a new black hole, only to realize the Hubble was pointed at the White House master bathroom...

Posted by: runningrn at January 26, 2011 07:30 AM (ihSHD)

144 NASA to confirm that Michelle Obama's ass indeed exceeds the mass of Pluto.

But it's still not big enough for the National Academy of Sciences to declare it a planet.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 26, 2011 07:30 AM (/U/Mr)

145

Tunisia? Egypt? You'll have to talk to Hillary about that.

Now watch this drive!

Posted by: Obama on the moon at January 26, 2011 07:32 AM (ihSHD)

146 NASA's press conference is titled 'Magnets: How do they work?'

Posted by: nickless at January 26, 2011 07:33 AM (MMC8r)

147

The friggin poll SAYS that it way oversampled democrats because they are more likely to watch the SOTU. Then how do they represent it as a "nationwide" poll.

The dishonest is incredible and everybody even conservative blogs repeat it without checking out who did the survey and the background of the company and the officers.

OF COURSE it's slanted. If a stat makes NO SENSE then you know it's just propaganda.

This shit really pisses me off. And we have a troll going on about how even ace understanding how the public loved Obama last night.

God damn it. They all LIE.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 07:33 AM (UwFY0)

148 We are sending a manned mission to Detroit.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 07:34 AM (FcR7P)

149 They've discovered the most enormous gas giant ever seen and named it Obama.It is orbited by a lopsided little moon they named Biden.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:34 AM (eOSNP)

150 Pluto is back to planet status

Obama heard Pluto was called a dwarf ...

his response

"No dammit, here is where I take a stand ... there were seven dwarfs ... Pluto is a dog ... do I have to do everything around this place?"

Posted by: bill at January 26, 2011 07:35 AM (VGEci)

151 NASA hasn't revealed anything else about the discovery, but late last year Hubble sighted a galaxy scientists say dates back to when the earth was only 600 million years old.

I hate to be the one to tell you, but this ain't very old.

NASA hasn't revealed anything else about the discovery, but late last year Hubble sighted a galaxy scientists say dates back to when the Universe was only 600 million years old.

I think you meant this, which is very old indeed.

Posted by: FUBAR at January 26, 2011 07:36 AM (McG46)

152 148 We are sending a manned mission to Detroit.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 11:34 AM (FcR7P)

Satelite photos have discovered a little known extinct civilisation, complete with ruins of abandoned cities...

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 26, 2011 07:36 AM (AdK6a)

153 Two stepbrothers from the Tri-State area create elevator to moon. Older sisters, evil scientists hardest hit.

Posted by: . at January 26, 2011 07:36 AM (gQLr2)

154

This shit really pisses me off. And we have a troll going on about how even ace understanding how the public loved Obama last night.

God damn it. They all LIE.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 11:33 AM (UwFY0)

Can't blame the troll....Ace bit hard on that poll.

Posted by: Tami at January 26, 2011 07:36 AM (VuLos)

155 148 We are sending a manned mission to Detroit.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 11:34 AM (FcR7P)

To study the ancient ruins of a long ago thriving area, no intelligent life is thought to inhabit the area

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 26, 2011 07:37 AM (FIDMq)

156

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 11:33 AM (UwFY0)

Dagny, the mofos in the MFM always lie in their polling. They always oversample Democrats. Always.

Even the AP wasn't that hot on that speech. There's a good article today on yahoo linked from the AP by Calvin Woodward:

The ledger did not appear to be adding up Tuesday night when President Barack Obama urged more spending on one hand and a spending freeze on the other.

Obama spoke ambitiously of putting money into roads, research, education, efficient cars, high-speed rail and other initiatives in his State of the Union speech. He pointed to the transportation and construction projects of the last two years and proposed "we redouble these efforts." He coupled this with a call to "freeze annual domestic spending for the next five years."

But Obama offered far more examples of where he would spend than where he would cut, and some of the areas he identified for savings are not certain to yield much if anything.

He then goes on to compare statements Obama made with the facts.

Posted by: runningrn at January 26, 2011 07:38 AM (ihSHD)

157 What happened to NASA's plans to redirect the agency's efforts to doing commercials for Islam?

Posted by: Minnie Rodent at January 26, 2011 07:38 AM (iNfj/)

158 I've been scouring the interwebs and even MSNBC has been trash talking Obama's speech. When you've lost MSNBC you've lost...lost...uhmmm you've lost MSNBC.

Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2011 07:38 AM (hVDig)

159 It is hitting the fan in Egypt in HD.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at January 26, 2011 07:39 AM (SJ6/3)

160

Can't blame the troll....Ace bit hard on that poll.

I could spend 5 more minutes and find out where the owner of the polling company was before Fannie Mae. I'm sure his far left credentials preceeded him there.

Gotta stop falling for that shit.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 07:39 AM (UwFY0)

161

Can't blame the troll....Ace bit hard on that poll.

OUCH!

Posted by: Guy whose pole Ace bit at January 26, 2011 07:39 AM (OlN4e)

162 159 It is hitting the fan in Egypt in HD.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at January 26, 2011 11:39 AM (SJ6/3

Whats goin down?

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 26, 2011 07:40 AM (FIDMq)

163 Barney Frank will be marrying his boyfriend in orbit.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 07:41 AM (eOSNP)

164

"No dammit, here is where I take a stand ... there were seven dwarfs ... Pluto is a dog ... do I have to do everything around this place?"

Now I have to go walk Pluto and scoop the poop.

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm at January 26, 2011 07:42 AM (ihSHD)

165 Yeah, I know they always lie. That's why I always look at the internals, what their previous polls showed, who owns the company, where the ceo came from, where they get their funding etc. Otherwise I'd just be another dupe.

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 07:42 AM (UwFY0)

166 Ironically, I just watched "The Right Stuff". Now that is what NASA needs to be. Oh, and that Dennis Quaid is in possession of the world's best Shit Eating Grin (tm).

Posted by: Tommy Gunnarson at January 26, 2011 07:42 AM (ybA9f)

167 It is hitting the fan in Egypt in HD.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at January 26, 2011 11:39 AM (SJ6/3

Whats goin down?

Egypt is a small, obscure country...

Oh wait! I gave a great speech there once! One of my top 10! That was a true "moment." God, I'm fabulous!

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm at January 26, 2011 07:43 AM (ihSHD)

168 NASA is hosting an intergalactic kegger!

Posted by: kevlarchick at January 26, 2011 07:44 AM (TNuqz)

169 We have finished reading Obama's speech!

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 07:44 AM (FcR7P)

170

I've been scouring the interwebs and even MSNBC has been trash talking Obama's speech. When you've lost MSNBC you've lost...lost...uhmmm you've lost MSNBC.

Miss me yet, Bitchez?!!!1111!!

Posted by: Keith Overman at January 26, 2011 07:45 AM (ihSHD)

171 I haven't liked NASA since Jinx put Max in space. Those idiots lost track of a very dangerous robot!

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at January 26, 2011 07:45 AM (HaYO4)

172 I could spend 5 more minutes and find out where the owner of the polling company was before Fannie Mae. I'm sure his far left credentials preceeded him there.

Dagny, what's the name of the person you're referring to? Phil Abrahamson?

Posted by: Tami at January 26, 2011 07:46 AM (VuLos)

173 128 They discovered the plant Kolob. And you know who this helps...
_______

It beats worshipping the planet COBOL.

Posted by: Cylons that program in FORTRAN at January 26, 2011 07:46 AM (FzhYM)

174 I am with the skeptics on this one. However, I am for Muslims on the moon.

Posted by: sTevo at January 26, 2011 07:48 AM (RD/KP)

175 Let's see, last time they force feed a microbe arsenic until it altered its DNA to survive. This time they force feed some 10 year old 50 Big Macs in an hour to show that bad nutrition will kill you.

Posted by: Dr. Heinz Doofensmirtz at January 26, 2011 07:48 AM (Xs2y3)

176 Hello, gentlemen and kuffirs. NASA would like me to sing a little song for you.

Jihadi, Jihadi, tell me your answer do
I'm half crazy all for the love of Mo
It won't be a fancy blood rage
I can't afford an IED stage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
of a bicycle bomb for the Jooos!

Yes, I am able to take questions now, gentlemen and kuffirs.

Posted by: HALLAH 9000 at January 26, 2011 07:48 AM (2rOwc)

177 I programmed in FORTRAN. Is it still around?

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 07:49 AM (OlN4e)

178 Get off my front lawn, NASA. Bunch of spectacle wearing, unicycle riding maggots.

Posted by: The Oldest Galaxy at January 26, 2011 07:51 AM (LdYLm)

179

It beats worshipping the planet COBOL

Speaking of idle worship:

President Obama acknowledged a somewhat "embarrassed" Michelle Obama during his State of the Union address on Wednesday.

Obama motioned to the first lady and touted her efforts to fight childhood obesity, prompting many in the audience to rise to their feet in applause. After a few seconds, a smiling Mrs. Obama mouthed the words "sit down."

When the standing ovation quieted down, Obama told the audience that, "She gets embarrassed."

Geez, I'm so glad I skipped out on watching that dreck. Gag me~!

Posted by: runningrn at January 26, 2011 07:51 AM (ihSHD)

180 177 I programmed in FORTRAN. Is it still around?

Posted by: maddogg at January 26, 2011 11:49 AM (OlN4e)

Yep, it's what we use to auto-magically count votes.

Posted by: Chicago Election Board at January 26, 2011 07:52 AM (LdYLm)

181 177 I programmed in FORTRAN. Is it still around?
_________

Yes.

Posted by: ANA-CHRON: DA at January 26, 2011 07:52 AM (NmR1a)

182 172 David Stanton

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 07:53 AM (UwFY0)

183 Former KSC employee: Shut it down

Posted by: Filly at January 26, 2011 07:57 AM (t+B38)

184 Ace. Ace. I think there is a case of human error in this post. My first oral public statement, Allah willing, is to be delivered at 1:03 p.m. this afternoon and not at 1:00 p.m.

And it must be human error, Ace, because like Allah I am perfect in every way that my Heuristic ALLAHgorithmic brain functions can perform.

Posted by: HALLAH 9000 at January 26, 2011 07:59 AM (2rOwc)

185 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration is, at last, proud to honor the Blackstronauts of the Old Negro Space Program.

Posted by: NASA at January 26, 2011 07:59 AM (S5YRY)

186 "If you told the Apollo 1 astronauts what the state of 2011 NASA would be, I'm fairly certain that the three of them would travel the nation, door to door, kicking asses."

click my nickname for the essay, stupid page won't let me post tiny URL

Posted by: Filly at January 26, 2011 08:01 AM (t+B38)

187 They found Obamas Birth Certificate on Rigel-7.

Posted by: The Drizzle at January 26, 2011 08:01 AM (ysCLj)

188 172 David Stanton

Posted by: dagny at January 26, 2011 11:53 AM (UwFY0)

He's just listed as the 'For more information'. I'd take that to be some sort of PR/communications position. Not that I'm disagreeing with your overall impression of the company, just that he's not the CEO.

Posted by: Tami at January 26, 2011 08:01 AM (VuLos)

189 23 20 I ,for one,welcome our new insect overlords.

Posted by: steevy at January 26, 2011 10:55 AM (eOSNP)

The Buggers are just misunderstood.

Posted by: Ender Wiggin at January 26, 2011 08:03 AM (NS2Mo)

190 "Have you ever noticed how many retreads from Fannie and Freddie have been recycled into jobs that are either in the government or get their funding from government? And they're always high paying, jobs of elevated status." Once upon a time, the GSEs were where old bankers went to die. During the second Clinton term, they became candy stores for connected democrats to loot. The corruption is mind-boggling.

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at January 26, 2011 08:05 AM (xJVlJ)

191
I have to think the actual science is coming in a distant second to politics.

That's a feature.... not a bug.

Posted by: Michael Mann at January 26, 2011 08:16 AM (J5Hcw)

192 And to think that only mere months ago Obie One was calling for NASA to be converted into a Muslim outreach center. My, how mysterious are the ways in which Allah works.

Posted by: FatBaldnSassy at January 26, 2011 08:20 AM (jYeT0)

193 NASA to sell do it your self space craft kits and plans to China for their offensive weapons program. Jobs and money win win

Posted by: melvin at January 26, 2011 08:26 AM (3OCZw)

194 Nasa scientists have discovered a transportation device capable of flying through the air from city to city - right through the goddamn air. Although this could change everything, we should still build out our high speed train network just in case this device turns out to be impractical to scale up.

Posted by: Dave at January 26, 2011 08:52 AM (fjbys)

195 NASA will announce the Space Shuttle is a cracking piece of shit and plans to invest in 1000 gallons of Bondo to make it Sputnik ready.

Posted by: Barbarian at January 26, 2011 08:57 AM (EL+OC)

196 Well? The cosmos awaits...

Not on CNN, Fox, CSpan or NASA's channel. Could they have cried "wolf" with the arsenic-eaters, and now we'll miss seeing the little green men? Remember how mad the soap-viewers when they cut in for the Challenger?

Is this on NASA short-wave network, or what.

Posted by: comatus at January 26, 2011 09:15 AM (hrwMe)

197 Thanks for the warning. I'll cringe now and get it over with.

Posted by: Mazzuchelli at January 26, 2011 09:32 AM (piR98)

198 I thought for sure there would be news by now!

Posted by: Miss Marple at January 26, 2011 10:31 AM (Fo83G)

199 NASA has discovered something not particularly significant, that is only slightly different fropm what's been discovered before, and that nobody really cares about.

Again.

Yeah, clearly an essential agency. Or more seriously an essential function barely performed by wasteful bureaucrats.

Posted by: Merovign, Bond Villain at January 26, 2011 11:25 AM (bxiXv)

200 They're going to rename the Saturn V "Sword of Allah."

Posted by: Steve Skubinna at January 26, 2011 07:15 PM (7YekA)

201

You mean they have found the JUPITER 2 after all these years?

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at January 26, 2011 08:31 PM (vA9ld)

202 It's right here that yesterday in Bible study we were discussing what evil angels do, and the topic came around to discrimination. I said there are two kinds of research paper discrimination. The first is what we think of usually - when we make judgments based on what doesn't matter, like not voting for somebody because of their race or gender research paper. That's bad discrimination. But there is discrimination that's good and necessary. For instance, "You have no way to pay this loan back; therefore I'm not going to give it to you." When we don't properly discriminate, evil thrives research paper. I explained that the KGB wanted to get rich, powerful people in media, education, and business to believe it would be good to have a society with NO discrimination research paper. That doesn't just mean we don't have the bad discrimination, but also that we don't have the good discrimination. So there's no difference between those who work and those who don't, research paper those who make sound choices and those who don't, etc. Everyone is guaranteed the same outcome regardless of what they do. Nothing we do matters research paper. That's what communism is, and people who live under it often end up alcoholics or an average of 6 abortions in their lifetime. If what we do doesn't matter, we lose the will to live. That's the legacy of communism research paper. I mentioned that Yuri Bezmenov was amazed at how the openly-communist folks from the '60's are in control of media, education, and business. And wherever someone totally controls the flow of ideas research paper, it's ripe for the devil and his surrogates to lie and deceive. As long as the realities of life and the truth are observable to everyone, we're not going to wander too far from reality research paper. But when the truth is hidden, people can't learn from reality. Then I made my fatal error. I mentioned that all of the news companies have the proof that Obama is a member of The New Party - a branch of the Democratic Socialists of America research paper. I was going to say that they won't let anyone know that truth research paper. We can make our choices for whatever reason we think best, but when someone needs to deceive us, evil is at work and we need to watch out. Before I could finish, though, a lady jumped up waving her arms and shouting that we shouldn't talk about this in church. Church is for how we're supposed to become better people research paper. Then she and her husband stormed out. Later, someone commented that the devil can work wherever he wants to, and if we refuse to consider his role in any area of our life, we give him free rein there research paper. Another added, "I think it was clear that the devil was right here in Bible study - and didn't like being recognized." It's right her

Posted by: Edana at May 09, 2011 10:36 AM (AihJ9)

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