Ace of Spades HQ

September 20, 2011

NFL Pickem Week 2
— Dave in Texas

My dad used to say "Son, there's two kinds of people in this world. People who know what the hell they're doing, and assholes like you."

Good talk dad. Good talk. I treasure those moments.

People who know what they are doing:

The Plague 19
Muletrain2016 19
Jimmytheleg 19
Porky 19 (he had 3 K's in the name) (I don't know what that means DiT)
annieposition 18
Anthony L 18
Brooklyn Babe 18
Scantily Clad Scandi's 18
FMG 18
Pastafarian 18
Scott 18
MD-Moron 18

People who sorta know what they're doing:

DrewM 17 (RINO!)
CDR M 14
Andy 14 (Ben made me do this)
Russ from Winterset 13
RD Brewer 13

Assholes like me:

DiT 11
Ben 11
Gabe 9
Ace 8

thanks Ben and CDR M for the results.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 03:58 PM | Comments (110)
Post contains 139 words, total size 1 kb.

1 My picks sucked this week. Or maybe it's just me? Nope, has to be the picks.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at September 20, 2011 04:01 PM (3+tTH)

2 Maybe I shouldn't have put SCOAMF in my team name. Seems to have a negative effect.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at September 20, 2011 04:02 PM (3+tTH)

3 Wow, a whole thread to myself.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at September 20, 2011 04:03 PM (3+tTH)

4 I control the internets!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at September 20, 2011 04:03 PM (3+tTH)

5 Whohoo beating DiT by one point!!! Yeah I suck

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at September 20, 2011 04:04 PM (w8Nh8)

6 How to draw out the crowd? Hmmm....Bet Sarah's picks were worse than mine.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at September 20, 2011 04:05 PM (3+tTH)

7 Hey! I have 14 points. I would like to be in the running for the grand prize.

I believe it is a full year's subscription to AOSHQ.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at September 20, 2011 04:05 PM (LH6ir)

8 Chad Henne is still a dick

Posted by: The Dead Schembechlers at September 20, 2011 04:05 PM (le5qc)

9 There are 2 kinds of people in this world.
The kind of people that divide the world into 2 kinds of people & the kind who don't.

Posted by: PointyHairedBoss at September 20, 2011 04:06 PM (ds3zj)

10 I like how Dave conveniently cuts off the top group 1 stinkin' point above my total. I'm sure that's just a coincidence or something.

My goal every season is to beat Dave. Admittedly, that's not much of a goal but if you set your sights low enough, you might just get there.

Posted by: DrewM. at September 20, 2011 04:06 PM (ehlWj)

11 You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you want to do it more than once.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at September 20, 2011 04:08 PM (3+tTH)

I don't make the rules Drew, I.. oh wait, I do make the fuckin rules.

Suckit.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 20, 2011 04:08 PM (PjVdx)

13 Shit, Drew. I'm at 14 and he left me out completely.

Posted by: Andy at September 20, 2011 04:09 PM (z6jMn)

14 Talks with Dad: "Do you know why cows shit in a pile? Do you know why rabbits shit little tiny spheres? Do you know why there is a tiny speck of white on top of chicken shit? No. Well then, you don't know shit. So, why don't you shut up and listen."

Posted by: no good deed at September 20, 2011 04:09 PM (mjR67)

15 Posted by: DrewM. at September 20, 2011 08:06 PM (ehlWj)

Didn't Dave mention that he doesn't read the picks, and just randomly clicks on the page?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at September 20, 2011 04:09 PM (LH6ir)

Last night I watched football instead of 2 1/2 Men. Tonight I watched the Tivo, because I had never seen the show.

Seriously, and I laugh at raunchy humor as much as the next guy, that pile of shit is what all the hoopla's about?

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 20, 2011 04:09 PM (aD5Kx)

17 Posted by: USS Diversity at September 20, 2011 08:09 PM (aD5Kx)

It can't be worse than with Sheen. That was the worst 10 minutes of TV I have seen in a very long time. Charlie Sheen cannot act at all. Maybe it's too much drugs, or not enough, but he used to be a lot better.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at September 20, 2011 04:12 PM (LH6ir)

18 Posted by: Andy at September 20, 2011 08:09 PM (z6jMn)

He's old. He forgets people and things (like his pants).

Posted by: DrewM. at September 20, 2011 04:13 PM (ehlWj)

19 Andy, what group are you in?

Posted by: CDR M at September 20, 2011 04:14 PM (Ybl9g)

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at September 20, 2011 08:12 PM (LH6ir)

I spoke too soon. Now I'm watching the Roast. I've seen funny roasts, this ain't it. I don't even know who half these douchebags are. Now get off my lawn.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 20, 2011 04:18 PM (aD5Kx)

21 I'm right there in the middle of the pack, lying in wait to make my big move up. Or down.

Posted by: huerfano at September 20, 2011 04:19 PM (263hv)

22 Group 2

Posted by: Andy at September 20, 2011 04:22 PM (z6jMn)

23 pants are for losers

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 20, 2011 04:23 PM (PjVdx)

24 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at September 20, 2011 04:23 PM (fyOgS)

25 Ya know, I might just be ready for some football.

Posted by: fluffy at September 20, 2011 04:26 PM (O6q63)

26 OMG, I killed the fucking thread!

Posted by: fluffy at September 20, 2011 04:29 PM (O6q63)

27 Group is under Ben's control. You should email him a reminder as to what your monicker is.

Posted by: CDR M at September 20, 2011 04:31 PM (Ybl9g)

28 OMG, I killed the fucking thread! Posted by: fluffy at September 20, 2011 08:29 PM (O6q63) The jails are full of people like you

Posted by: nevergiveup at September 20, 2011 04:31 PM (i6RpT)

29 Meant group 2.

Posted by: CDR M at September 20, 2011 04:32 PM (Ybl9g)

Seriously, and I laugh at raunchy humor as much as the next guy, that pile of shit is what all the hoopla's about?

Watching Charlie Sheen essentially play himself is hilarious at first, but then after the 2nd or 3rd season, his shtick gets old and the forced one-liners turn to ash in one's mouth when one tries to repeat them.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 20, 2011 04:33 PM (c0A3e)

The jails are full of people like you

---------------------------

Hey, it was like that when I got here.

Posted by: fluffy at September 20, 2011 04:33 PM (O6q63)

32 just 3 pts off the lead in Group 5!

Group 5 has all the cool kids

Posted by: Frank G at September 20, 2011 04:34 PM (1rPxL)

33 It's "Andy". I'm inventive like that. BENNNNNN!!!!!

Posted by: Andy at September 20, 2011 04:34 PM (z6jMn)

34 What? No love for the fantasy folks?

Posted by: As If! at September 20, 2011 04:35 PM (piMMO)

35 Up up to 50%!

A bunch of people dropped out in Group1. It's hard to make up a week of missed picks.

And I think Gabe is sandbagging it.

Posted by: toby928© at September 20, 2011 04:35 PM (GTbGH)

36 Two points away from Dave having to write "Oily Taints" in a post. Considering that I thought it was a straight heads-up pick em without incorporating the lines week 1, I'm not doing half bad.

Posted by: Oily Taitz at September 20, 2011 04:41 PM (ZvH2W)

37 The Plague baby!!

Posted by: gride at September 20, 2011 04:41 PM (7Iqhu)

38 Hey, it's tough picking winners. I had the Daily Caller minus 4.5 against Greta and got a beating.

Posted by: Jim T. Reacher at September 20, 2011 04:42 PM (le5qc)

i'm at 17, not so bad considering it's not straight up who you pick like I thought it was. I have no clue how to play lines so i'm tied for 3rd even though i'm technically not playing like I should. not bad.

Posted by: AuthorLMendez (Perry Guy) at September 20, 2011 04:42 PM (HhCkU)

Posted by: Jim T. Reacher at September 20, 2011 08:42 PM (le5qc)

LMAO, dont forget the anrky remarks on how ace doesn't know how to run a blog and that he swears he's not just defending his boss

Posted by: AuthorLMendez (Perry Guy) at September 20, 2011 04:44 PM (HhCkU)

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 20, 2011 08:09 PM (aD5Kx)

the fact it beats The Office as top sitcom just shows how fucked up society is to like that POS, i'm rooting Kutcher fails

Posted by: AuthorLMendez (Perry Guy) at September 20, 2011 04:45 PM (HhCkU)

42 I am getting pounded. I am going to have my 4 year old start picking for me.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 20, 2011 04:47 PM (jiVmv)

My dad used to say "Son, there's two kinds of people in this world. People who know what the hell they're doing, and assholes like you."

Good talk dad. Good talk. I treasure those moments.

Dad got pissed off at me one day and said, "Your grandpa was City Forester of Portland and taught Horticulture at Ohio State, I have two degrees in Horticulure and then there's you."

Well HA HA, asshole.

I'm a spray tech at a golf course, so, um, FUCK YOU!

_{it's a running family joke, I think}

Posted by: ErikW at September 20, 2011 04:47 PM (b4nq0)

44 I swear I think I'm picking ok, and the the actual games happen. . . meh. Double meh. This game sucks.

Posted by: Dave C. at September 20, 2011 04:57 PM (hZ6sR)

45 Got 6 picks right Week 1, then 8 week 2. Look out!!

Posted by: logprof at September 20, 2011 05:03 PM (QaKuj)

46 Oh, and 2-0 in the Moron fantasy league!!!

(After losing Jamaal Charles, that will change fast.)

Posted by: logprof at September 20, 2011 05:06 PM (QaKuj)

47 Little too early to be talking about the fantasy moron league. The real teams will start to shake out here in a few weeks.

Posted by: CDR M at September 20, 2011 05:07 PM (Ybl9g)

48 Dare I futiley pick against NE's giant spread for a third week in a row?

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 20, 2011 05:08 PM (PxSyj)

49 Less than a post per minute.

This "football" thing will never catch on.

Posted by: Dang at September 20, 2011 05:08 PM (TXKVh)

50 I saw that logprof! Much better than last years start no?

Posted by: CDR M at September 20, 2011 05:08 PM (Ybl9g)

51 Well, here's what I'm saying. Iran has been been telling us for a long time that they plan to attack us, and at the same time threatening to attack if we attack them first. They are hoping that we are too afraid to attack them first, so that they have enough time to get the nukes which they don't yet have. But when they do, they won't hesitate to use them first, and we're just a bunch of pussy suckers who didn't see it coming.

Posted by: Dianne at September 20, 2011 05:11 PM (ckxyP)

52 This "football" thing will never catch on.

Too violent for my tastes.

Posted by: Michael Vick at September 20, 2011 05:12 PM (piMMO)

53 O/T. Flaming Skull alert! Palin now within 5% of SCOAMF Obama;49%, Palin;44% Mclatchey 09/15/11

Posted by: blogforce one at September 20, 2011 05:13 PM (lICB9)

54 Ok so where are all those NSFW link, now that I got time, and I'm not at work.

Posted by: Paladin at September 20, 2011 05:13 PM (0p4L5)

55 But when they do, they won't hesitate to use them first, and we're just a bunch of pussy suckers who didn't see it coming.

Jesus Hates a Pussy (JHP) Missed the Sunday book therad. Finished "No Angel". Enjoyed it thoroughly! Hells Angels, ATF, screw-up's on both sides, great read.

Posted by: Paladin at September 20, 2011 05:19 PM (0p4L5)

56 I got an email from Rep. Sanchez, not Loretta I think it's Linda. Asked what issues were most important to me, I typed in "Getting Democrats out of office". I guess I won't be getting a Christmas card...

Posted by: KZnextzone at September 20, 2011 05:26 PM (ZUWaD)

57 i have 15 points.....i sorta know what i'm doing.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at September 20, 2011 05:26 PM (eOXTH)

58 old Yeller was a good dog, once i saw Jim kick Yeller for no good reason.

Posted by: Racefan at September 20, 2011 05:28 PM (Vyt85)

59 Did Ace actually make picks?

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 20, 2011 05:29 PM (PxSyj)

60 ^{How about a thread about something us beta males might be interested in?}

Posted by: Max Power at September 20, 2011 05:32 PM (q177U)

Did Ace actually make picks?
----------------

Two words: dartboard

Posted by: fluffy at September 20, 2011 05:33 PM (O6q63)

62 62 Wow, I just barely eked out a win in Moron fantasy.

Grrr...

Savor this victory,

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 20, 2011 05:36 PM (c0A3e)

63 love the epub spam. If only they had lace-wigs

Posted by: Frank G at September 20, 2011 05:36 PM (1rPxL)

64 I miss machines guy....

Posted by: KZnextzone at September 20, 2011 05:39 PM (ZUWaD)

65 well since 1966............ the Falcons are going to kick ass this year and win it all.......thats a southern thang yall.... heck, it could happen.

Posted by: Racefan at September 20, 2011 05:40 PM (Vyt85)

66 i miss machine guy to.

Posted by: Racefan at September 20, 2011 05:41 PM (Vyt85)

I miss machines guy....

---------------------

I'm convinced that Machines Guy is ace, or possibly a cob-logger.

You can't force that kind of art. You have to chase the green fairy until your muse returns.

Posted by: fluffy at September 20, 2011 05:42 PM (O6q63)

68 I suck at picking the line. Getting in about my suckitude before someone else does.

Posted by: NC Ref at September 20, 2011 05:45 PM (/izg2)

69 Well, looks like I get no sleep tonight. Just brought home today's release of Gears of War 3. I'm stoked.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish

My fourteen year old son would be extremely jealous if he knew. So come here son, and read about this guy......

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes.... at September 20, 2011 05:45 PM (sJTmU)

70 love the epub spam. If only they had lace-wigs

Posted by: Frank G

I think the Epub spam is actually "Curious", or whatever it calls iteself this week. Or maybe it's the other way around? Who knows?

Machines for Sale probably knows.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes.... at September 20, 2011 05:46 PM (sJTmU)

71 Oh, I battle the mighty Blades of Olympus this week!

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at September 20, 2011 09:40 PM (vbh31)

I feel your pain. I got the first beating of the year.

Posted by: NC Ref / Big Time at September 20, 2011 05:47 PM (/izg2)

72 machine guy could be.............. who could it be...... i have always thought sickinmass... i could be wrong. wait.............. It's Peach , Peachs is Machines For Sale.............................

Posted by: Racefan at September 20, 2011 05:48 PM (Vyt85)

73 I'm convinced that Machines Guy is ace, or possibly a cob-logger.

Machines accidentally posted under its real handle one time. I forget who it was, but it wasn't ace, and I'm 99 44/100% sure it wasn't a coblogger either.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 20, 2011 05:51 PM (PxSyj)

74 Is anyone else getting tired of seeing the damn Google ads for the Jobs Act pop up in every You tube vid?

I hit the link dump in the sidebar and it came up repeatedly, with some variation.

Posted by: Michael Vick at September 20, 2011 05:51 PM (piMMO)

75 off sock

Posted by: As If! at September 20, 2011 05:52 PM (piMMO)

76 Ace had a great first week. Looks like he forgot to make his picks for week 2.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 20, 2011 05:53 PM (/NnPf)

77 My dad used to say "Son, there's two kinds of people in this world. People who know what the hell they're doing, and assholes like you."

Sounds like a future ONT subject: Shit My Dad Said

Posted by: kbdabear at September 20, 2011 05:54 PM (Y+DPZ)

78 82 Ace had a great first week. Looks like he forgot to make his picks for week 2.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 20, 2011 09:53 PM (/NnPf)

going out as a winner?

Posted by: Racefan at September 20, 2011 05:56 PM (Vyt85)

79 Sounds like a future ONT subject: Shit My Dad Said

Posted by: kbdabear at September 20, 2011 09:54 PM (Y+DPZ)

"Do as I say, not as I do."

Posted by: NC Ref's Dad at September 20, 2011 05:57 PM (/izg2)

80 What a wonderful read. I'll to be a regular viewer and to bookmark this pages.

Posted by: Duke Lowell's lace wigs, epub, machines, and sucky picks at September 20, 2011 05:57 PM (3+tTH)

81 53This "football" thing will never catch on.

Too violent for my tastes.

Posted by: Michael Vick at September 20, 2011 09:12 PM (piMMO)

Hear, hear, good sir.

Posted by: O.J. Simpson at September 20, 2011 05:58 PM (PhnCS)

82 85 Sounds like a future ONT subject: Shit My Dad Said
Posted by: kbdabear at September 20, 2011 09:54 PM (Y+DPZ)

"Hey, watch this!"

Posted by: NC Ref's Dad at September 20, 2011 05:58 PM (/izg2)

83 I think the epubs spam is more senient than curious.

Posted by: dagny at September 20, 2011 05:58 PM (4Qi/x)

Machines accidentally posted under its real handle one time. I forget who it was, but it wasn't ace, and I'm 99 44/100% sure it wasn't a coblogger either.
-----------------------

It's rumor-mongering like this that keeps the myth alive.

Posted by: Sasquatch at September 20, 2011 05:59 PM (O6q63)

85 Hold my beer.

Posted by: Truck Monkeys Dad at September 20, 2011 06:01 PM (jucos)

It will be the ultimate "Can you top this?"

"Pictures of the Loch Ness Monster? Pffft! I have an email from the 'Machines for Sale' guy!"

Posted by: fluffy at September 20, 2011 06:02 PM (O6q63)

Posted by: kbdabear at September 20, 2011 09:54 PM (Y+DPZ)

damn son, you gotta use your head for something other than a hat rack.

Posted by: Racefan at September 20, 2011 06:02 PM (Vyt85)

Shit, Drew. I'm at 14 and he left me out completely.

Damnit Andy, sorry I totally spaced on that. I send DiT a reminder.

Posted by: Ben at September 20, 2011 06:04 PM (tEGzl)

89 barak obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure

Posted by: Max Power at September 20, 2011 06:04 PM (q177U)

90 Posted by: kbdabear at September 20, 2011 09:54 PM (Y+DPZ)

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which ones fills up the quickest.

Posted by: MissTammy at September 20, 2011 06:04 PM (SsG4J)

91 SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLE!

Posted by: Truck Monkeys Dad at September 20, 2011 06:06 PM (jucos)

92 Thanks DiT.

Posted by: Ben at September 20, 2011 06:07 PM (tEGzl)

93 oh fine. whatever.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 20, 2011 06:08 PM (PjVdx)

RDB That seat failure thing is no joke, when I first started piloting lessons I was warned to set the seat while the aircraft was static. If you don't make sure the little knobby button is locked in it's hole you can be flying from the backseat on rotation. Hard to control and airplane when you're two feet from the pedals and pulling back on the wheel.....

I still can't believe you can't find the vid of the guy jumping out of a helicopter and catching a Marlin with his bare hands....

Love your work!

Posted by: KZnextzone at September 20, 2011 06:09 PM (ZUWaD)

95 KZnextzone, thanks. I've been looking at models of the interior, and there's an open area with storage bins behind the seat. I guess he could have been stuffed into that by g-forces. It's not completely open, just the top half. Enough room to crawl into, easy.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 20, 2011 06:13 PM (/NnPf)

96 Holy shit did you see Drudge about the Palin poll? Closer than Perry to Obama. Only 5 points. She's picked up among independents while Obama has lost. So, numbers don't lie right? As I say your unelectable until you are electable.

Posted by: Blaster at September 20, 2011 06:14 PM (Fw2Gg)

97 For the 5 remaining people on Ace tonight. Go check out the side bar item (in the vid dump) "Driver tells awesome wreck story." Pure gold. Love the "Reality hits you hard, bro" Classic, classic line.

Posted by: Max Power at September 20, 2011 06:16 PM (q177U)

98 is this an open thread? cause if it isn't I'm not going to say anythi...

Posted by: The Great Satan's Ghost at September 20, 2011 06:16 PM (UrPTC)

99 Machines For Sale.we have cat machines, puppy machines,beer machines. one night we were getting some bobcat skinning machines and 18 pelican skinners jumped us behimd the dumpster................................

Posted by: Racefan at September 20, 2011 06:16 PM (Vyt85)

100 Ace decreed that all threads are open after 60 comments.

Posted by: KZnextzone at September 20, 2011 06:16 PM (ZUWaD)

101 I just unfollowed Jim Nolte. I just couldn't take it anymore...

Posted by: Johnny (John E.) at September 20, 2011 06:16 PM (nRTou)

102 8 Chad Henne is still a dick

Posted by: The Dead Schembechlers at September 20, 2011 08:05 PM (le5qc)

Bomb Ann Arbor now.

P.S.

16 pts in group 2, bitches.

Posted by: Colonel32 at September 20, 2011 06:19 PM (dfQ4e)

103 Oh God damnit! I comment for the first time in a year and get this bullshit. I fucked up.