Ace of Spades HQ

August 29, 2011

NYT: Let's Make the Ugly a Protected Class
— Ace

Well... if you accept the premise of protective classes for anyone who suffers adverse outcomes in life due to an innate attribute, it makes sense. Plainer people have a tougher go of it. I'm pretty certain I've never gotten a job just because of my looks.

But this tends to prove what it isn't intended to prove -- that maybe this whole protected-classes business is silly.

How could we remedy this injustice? With all the gains to being good-looking, you would think that more people would get plastic surgery or makeovers to improve their looks. Many of us do all those things, but as studies have shown, such refinements make only small differences in our beauty. All that spending may make us feel better, but it doesnÂ’t help us much in getting a better job or a more desirable mate.
A more radical solution may be needed: why not offer legal protections to the ugly, as we do with racial, ethnic and religious minorities, women and handicapped individuals?

I see problems in classifying the ugly, and I see problems in the ugly self-identifying to apply for protections.

Bizarrely -- I did not know this -- California, of course, is already doing something like this, at least in some cities.

We actually already do offer such protections in a few places, including in some jurisdictions in California, and in the District of Columbia, where discriminatory treatment based on looks in hiring, promotions, housing and other areas is prohibited.

Let me suggest a principle:

Laws should be serious.

When you pass a prohibition, you are threatening legal sanction against the prohibited conduct. This is not fun and games. You are threatening legal consequences, including imprisonment or fine (which is the seizing of property), for violating that law.

Now, given the inherent difficulty in enforcing this law -- how do you prove "ugliness" in court, and how do you prove someone was discriminated against for that reason? -- does anyone think this is a real, serious law, or is it more like some kind of feel-good guideline of how some soft-hearts hoped the world might be?

The legal codes should not be cluttered with feelgoodery.

Laws are serious. They are specific restrictions on our freedom on pain of imprisonment or seizure of property.

Lawmakers should start acting as if they're serious, or there are going to be... problems.

Posted by: Ace at 12:30 PM | Comments (165)
Post contains 411 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Wait, is this from the Onion?

Posted by: toby928™ at August 29, 2011 12:31 PM (GTbGH)

It is officially impossible to parody the Left. I mean, I knew that for awhile but it's nice to have my worldview validated.

Posted by: alexthechick at August 29, 2011 12:31 PM (VtjlW)

3 This reporter has read Harrison Bergeron, I see.

Also, this does not bode well for Hooter's restaurants and titty bars.

Posted by: EC at August 29, 2011 12:32 PM (GQ8sn)

4 *head desk*

This defies words.

I thought Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure, and he is, but this idiot puts SCOAMFOTUS to shame.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:33 PM (8y9MW)

This would have saved everyone from Dr. Amy Bishop

Posted by: Ben at August 29, 2011 12:33 PM (wuv1c)

6 Debbie Blabbermouth Schultz could be the poster child for this cause

Posted by: TheQuietMan at August 29, 2011 12:33 PM (1Jaio)

7 Lookism is one of the great threats to our society today.

Posted by: Ugly liberal chick in Birkenstocks at August 29, 2011 12:33 PM (0N5pL)

8 Finally I qualify for special victim status!

Posted by: Alamo at August 29, 2011 12:33 PM (m/tN9)

9 Posted by: EC at August 29, 2011 04:32 PM (GQ8sn)

Have you been to one recently? I don't know if it's just my luck, but I always seem to get the waitress whose skin is made from rawhide.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:33 PM (8y9MW)

10 Repeat after me "Everyone is a victim"

Posted by: Penfold at August 29, 2011 12:33 PM (4jMRd)

11
No.... no need to "apply"..... just toss yer name into the jar. We hold a drawing every week.

Posted by: HR Managers Union Locan #451 at August 29, 2011 12:34 PM (C8hzL)

12 Finally I qualify for special victim status!

Posted by: Alamo at August 29, 2011 04:33 PM (m/tN9)

I'll remember that.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:34 PM (8y9MW)

13 Lawmakers should start acting as if they're serious, or there are going to be... problems.

Your move, creep.

Posted by: EC at August 29, 2011 12:34 PM (GQ8sn)

I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They're too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly color. I'm so glad I'm a Beta.

Posted by: Ben at August 29, 2011 12:34 PM (wuv1c)

15
They are legislating thoughts, preferences, and opinions.

What could go wrong?

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 12:35 PM (sqkOB)

Helen Thomas is behind this. She wants her job back.

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at August 29, 2011 12:35 PM (QKKT0)

17 Have you been to one recently? I don't know if it's just my luck, but I always seem to get the waitress whose skin is made from rawhide.

Fortunately, the one I go to is near a college campus.

Posted by: EC at August 29, 2011 12:36 PM (GQ8sn)

We should pull a Cloward Piven on the Left. Overwhelm the system

Make it so that every human being falls into some "protected class", that's the only way we'll get back to where we started with everyone being equal in the eyes of the law.

Posted by: Ben at August 29, 2011 12:36 PM (wuv1c)

19 A-A-A-AND the Attention Challenged Moron Horde moves on to a shiny new thread...

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:36 PM (niZvt)

20 Alternately know as the "Harry Waxman and Barney Frank" bill

Posted by: William Amos at August 29, 2011 12:36 PM (HcYmo)

21 I believe in a balanced approach. First we can take away any tax breaks that pretty people get (even if it has nothing to do with good looks), and make sure they are paying their fair share for what, until now, amounts to freebies they obtain just for being pretty. And, of coarse, if any of them get a free ride on a corporate jet, or even in the private car of another well-to-do person, they need to kick in to help the rest of us.

Posted by: JayBee at August 29, 2011 12:36 PM (ZWISK)

22 Lawmakers should start acting as if they're serious, or there are going to be... problems.

Not until we, like our forefathers, remember that Liberty is the natural state, and fight to get ours back. Which means, probably, the 5th of Never.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:36 PM (8y9MW)

23 Greta actually DID look better for a while after her surgery... but the Ugly Runs Deep. She's starting to revert.

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:37 PM (niZvt)

24 Heh - Vonnegut thought that "Harrison Bergeron" was over the top satire.
He was wrong.

Posted by: Mætenloch at August 29, 2011 12:37 PM (pafW3)

25 Sounds like a good idea.

Posted by: DWS at August 29, 2011 12:37 PM (BKOsZ)

26 You think lookism is unfair? Try looking for a job when you smell like I do.

Posted by: Janeane Garofalo at August 29, 2011 12:37 PM (QKKT0)

27 How the hell do you qualify & quantify ugly?

How stupid are these people? /rhet

Posted by: lu at August 29, 2011 12:37 PM (pLTLS)

28 Fortunately, the one I go to is near a college campus.

Cheater.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:37 PM (8y9MW)

29 can we imprison people who make themselves fat & ugly? and What's the point of Drop Dead Diva? wouldn't a supermodel put in a fat lawyer chick's body just lose the weight instead of just accepting being a landwhale? you can't maintain that mass without caloric intake.

Posted by: PR at August 29, 2011 12:37 PM (XmJZ7)

30 Taking a page from "Harrison Bergeron" (see what I did there? - great book btw, but really short), we can force pretty people to wear ugly masks in order to let homely people have a chance at equal footing.

Kurt Vonnegut was a fucking genius.

Posted by: EC at August 29, 2011 12:38 PM (GQ8sn)

31 The Markets are insane +254.71 (2.26%)

Posted by: DJIA Death Watch at August 29, 2011 12:38 PM (GTbGH)

32 Well I'm fucked. Bitches just throw they shit at me.

Posted by: LtT26 at August 29, 2011 12:38 PM (Qsk03)

33
Wait, I have a better idea.

Let's sell Ugly Credits.

You know, like Carbon Credits. That way, if you like your looks, you can keep your looks.

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 12:38 PM (sqkOB)

34 Liberals (fugly on the inside) are finally one step away from opening up the prison camps for the conservatives.

Posted by: Roy at August 29, 2011 12:38 PM (VndSC)

35 You are wasting your time on the substance of the argument. The reason we have protected classes is because the left needs them to form the tribes of class warriors needed to sustain their vote-farming via the politics of envy. There are two reasons why the left would never go for it: 1. There aren't enough of the hard-on-the-eyes willing to self-identify to make the effort politically worthwhile for the left 2. The left think of themselves as the beautiful people, and, in their minds, it will be their oxen that are gored

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (cbyrC)

36 So wait...

Does this mean busty young hawties are oppressed victims of objectifying gawkers, or benefit unfairly from their good looks?

I'm SO confused by PC bullshit...

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (niZvt)

Alternately know as the "Harry Waxman and Barney Frank" bill.

Is it too late for me to get in on this?

Posted by: Maxine Waters at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (QKKT0)

38 fatties and smokers are still exempt from being a protected class, right?

Posted by: The Dude at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (M8yfa)

39 Question: Is Daniel S. Hamermesh of the New York Times familiar with the Vonnegut book "Sirens of Titan" ??

Posted by: Bob Saget at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (F/4zf)

40 Cheater.

I love October at my Hooter's because of Halloween.

Posted by: EC at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (GQ8sn)

41 Why don't they just get the fuck on with it and decide that Democrats deserve special treatment and stop jerking my dick, already.

Posted by: MJ at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (BKOsZ)

42 California, of course, is already doing something like this

Well, that explains how Maggie Gyllenhaal gets work.

Posted by: Waterhouse at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (OK/vv)

43 OT How do you contact the SideBar muses? Ima Wurdibitsch posted a link last night to a YouTube of Epic 38%er Fail.

It's would make good Sidebar Material.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/3n3zmdh

Posted by: crossposted, for great justice at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (GTbGH)

44 Limbaugh was mocking this concept back in the 80s. I guess the libs figured if they waited 30 years to try and push it nobody would remember.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 29, 2011 12:39 PM (tqwMN)

45 What about me? I am actually much better looking than I appear to others, so this is not going to help me at all.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at August 29, 2011 12:40 PM (HqpV0)

Hot Fox News chicks hardest hit.

and hit.

Posted by: Roy at August 29, 2011 12:40 PM (VndSC)

47 Seriously, you ugly peasants have no idea how heavy the burdens and vast the disadvantages of beauty such as mine are...

Posted by: Elize Nayden at August 29, 2011 12:40 PM (D5jIi)

48
How about some Lyle Lovett?

Posted by: dan-O at August 29, 2011 12:40 PM (BAjNF)

49 27 "How the hell do you qualify & quantify ugly?"

I'd say Helen Thomas quantified ugly exponentially.

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:40 PM (niZvt)

A-A-A-AND the Attention Challenged Moron Horde moves on to a shiny new thread...

At least the Midwesterners are no longer cursing me for having water in my basement.

Posted by: fluffy at August 29, 2011 12:41 PM (3SvjA)

51 Well, that explains how Maggie Gyllenhaal gets work.

And Sarah Silverman.

Posted by: EC at August 29, 2011 12:41 PM (GQ8sn)

52 Maybe we should all wear burkas to even things out.

Posted by: kathysaysso at August 29, 2011 12:41 PM (ZtwUX)

53 If you have to convince a friend to pretend rape you, you should probably be on the list.

Posted by: Mac MacClellan at August 29, 2011 12:41 PM (QKKT0)

54 The moment one class or people is favored by law over another, slavery has ceased to be an institution of man oppressing man, and become one of Government oppressing all Men.

Posted by: Stuff Jefferson Should Have Said, VOL XXVII at August 29, 2011 12:41 PM (8y9MW)

55 Ooh, cool, can I sue Jon Hamm for discrimination in not wanting me? Okay, I'm too old for him but still. I feel really, really bad about it. What about slobbing around the house, does this whole ugliness discrimination stuff get you a free pass on that?

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 29, 2011 12:41 PM (EJlMQ)

56 Ugly is like obscenity. You know it when you see it.

Posted by: Roy at August 29, 2011 12:42 PM (VndSC)

57 The Left is literally too much of a joke for me to even be able to insult.

Posted by: Janice Hahn at August 29, 2011 12:42 PM (1wgaP)

58 If only the government would supply us all with beer goggles, those achieving "last call adequacy" would skyrocket.

Posted by: right at August 29, 2011 12:42 PM (pMGkg)

59 Ugly people cause global warming.

Posted by: Algore, Scientific Expert In All Things Sciencey at August 29, 2011 12:42 PM (QKKT0)

60 Big. Plastic. Surgery.

Posted by: MJ at August 29, 2011 12:42 PM (BKOsZ)

61 So how is this going to effect the exotic dancing industry. Will clubs be required to hire ugly dancers. Will I go to jail for not tipping them equally? And think about Hooters for goodness sake.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at August 29, 2011 12:42 PM (YMoC0)

62
I am actually much better looking than I appear to others...

Do you mean that you perceive yourself to be good-looking? In that case, who are we to say you're not.

The same rules for trannies should apply to you. Like Chastity Bono fancies herself a man, you have the right to fancy yourself handsome.

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 12:42 PM (sqkOB)

63 I can haz government funding to help reduce the effects of ugliness?

Posted by: Dude with a warehouse full of brown paper bags at August 29, 2011 12:43 PM (pdRb1)

64 That quote from Atlas Shrugged (the book not the boobs). The one about wanting the laws to be broken. And the whole how everyone is a felon thing. Think about it.

Posted by: blaster at August 29, 2011 12:43 PM (l5dj7)

65 Wait, is this designed to open the door for Moochelle Obama to run for office???

Posted by: chillin the most for Perry at August 29, 2011 12:43 PM (6IV8T)

66 62 So how is this going to effect the exotic dancing industry. Will clubs be required to hire ugly dancers.

The skanky ones already do.

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:44 PM (niZvt)

67 51 Well, that explains how Maggie Gyllenhaal gets work.

And Sarah Silverman.

Don't forget Jeane Garafalo

Posted by: Raquel at August 29, 2011 12:44 PM (1wgaP)

68 Whatteryouguysnuts? I WANT a law that makes hot chicks have to date me and put out and stuff like that.

Posted by: LGoPs at August 29, 2011 12:44 PM (lHn6+)

69 Laws are serious. They are specific restrictions on our freedom on pain of imprisonment or seizure of property. Lawmakers should start acting as if they're serious, or there are going to be... problems. Day by day, our respect for law erodes. At this point I have virtually none, personally.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at August 29, 2011 12:44 PM (AZGON)

70
Where is it written that Affirmative Action can only apply to non-whites and women?

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 12:44 PM (sqkOB)

When you pass a prohibition, you are threatening legal sanction against the prohibited conduct. This is not fun and games. You are threatening legal consequences, including imprisonment or fine (which is the seizing of property), for violating that law.

I've always liked PJ O'Rourke's approach to balancing the budget - would I shoot my grandmother for this. After all, don't pay your taxes and eventually you will end up getting shot.

This also brings up my response when the Left starts whinging about not legislating morality. Laws, by necessity, have moral implication. All we're arguing about is whose morality will be implemented.

Posted by: alexthechick at August 29, 2011 12:44 PM (VtjlW)

72 "All right. We'll give some protection to the unsightly and repulsive, but we don't want the fugly!"

Posted by: catmman at August 29, 2011 12:44 PM (DTzwU)

73 "Lawmakers should start acting as if they're serious, or there are going to be... problems."

If The People are foolish enough to follow them, ain't no problem.

Posted by: United Banana Republics at August 29, 2011 12:44 PM (r4t7/)

74 "Did you really think we want those laws observed?" said Dr. Ferris. "We want them to be broken. You'd better get it straight that it's not a bunch of boy scouts you're up against... We're after power and we mean it... There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What's there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced or objectively interpreted Â– and you create a nation of law-breakers Â– and then you cash in on guilt. Now that's the system, Mr. Reardon, that's the game, and once you understand it, you'll be much easier to deal with." Yeah, that one.

Posted by: blaster at August 29, 2011 12:45 PM (l5dj7)

75
We all know it's only a matter of time before homosexuals are included in the affirmative action quotas for govt work.

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 12:45 PM (sqkOB)

76 Oh, and NYT type liberals couldn't get stupider if they tried. To quote my mother, when I was a child and told her that something wasn't fair: "Life isn't fair, go outside and play."

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 29, 2011 12:45 PM (EJlMQ)

77 Janet Napolitano is proof incarnate that there is no God discrimination against the ugly.

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:45 PM (niZvt)

Laws are serious. They are specific restrictions on our freedom on pain of imprisonment or seizure of property.

I hear what you're screaming. Now , consider, for a moment, in jest..Maxine Waters. now, that's fugly. interior, and exterior

Posted by: pitchforksandpowder at August 29, 2011 12:45 PM (xtJmz)

79 "Fortunately, the one I go to is near a college campus." The ones near convention centers tend to be well-stocked, too.

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 29, 2011 12:45 PM (cbyrC)

80 Personally, I think discrimination against the dead is noxious and intolerant. Cadavers have a perfect right to vote, serve on a jury, run a hamburger stand or learn to pole-dance.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at August 29, 2011 12:46 PM (AZGON)

I also want a law that gives short, fat, talentless white guys a chance at playing in the NBA.

I dribble pretty good. Out the corner of my mouth.

Posted by: LGoPs at August 29, 2011 12:46 PM (lHn6+)

82 Aren't t he real victims here those of us who have to look at the uglies. This whole argument should be flipped around. These mother fuckers are assaulting my eyeballs. They are terrorists!!!11!!eleventy!!

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at August 29, 2011 12:47 PM (pdRb1)

83 65 Wait, is this designed to open the door for Moochelle Obama to run for office???
....

Oh no fucking way that beeytch better get in line! I'm next beeyches!!!!!!

Posted by: Hilary fucking Clinton at August 29, 2011 12:47 PM (1wgaP)

84 Stipud peepl have ritghts too!

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 29, 2011 12:47 PM (QKKT0)

85 Cadavers have a perfect right to vote,

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at August 29, 2011 04:46 PM (AZGON)

I thought in Chicago, they already did?

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:47 PM (niZvt)

Well, that explains how Maggie Gyllenhaal gets work.

And Sarah Silverman.

Don't forget Jeane Garafalo

Or Lady Gaga

Posted by: Ben at August 29, 2011 12:48 PM (wuv1c)

87 "This also brings up my response when the Left starts whinging about not legislating morality." That's one of my personal favorites: "So we should never have a law that could be characterized as either bad or good?"

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 29, 2011 12:48 PM (cbyrC)

88 Seriously, even the idea that people are seriously considering this is frightening to me. (Okay, frightening may be a strong word, if I can come up with a better one, I'll let you know). It's like there are people out there saying, "I have too much freedom, please take some more away."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:48 PM (8y9MW)

89 @80 self Dumbass. That hyphen is not supposed to be there.

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 29, 2011 12:48 PM (cbyrC)

90 Let's sell Ugly Credits. Henry Waxman is an instant billionaire.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at August 29, 2011 12:48 PM (AZGON)

91 So that "Harrison Bergeron" short story by Asimov is looking more like a prediction than fiction, huh?
How soon before they decide that that those who are not tall (but not technically little people) should be protected? Heightism! What about redheads - no, wait - all non-blonds, don't they deserve protection/preferential treatment, too? And people with freckles and visible birthmarks, and....

Posted by: Libby at August 29, 2011 12:49 PM (RxrBh)

92 Janis Ian told us all about it years ago. Surprised something like this hasn't happened sooner.

Posted by: Theresa D., TPT, not a beauty but WOW, what a personality! at August 29, 2011 12:49 PM (Zgfnd)

93 87

Well, that explains how Maggie Gyllenhaal gets work.

And Sarah Silverman.

Don't forget Jeane Garafalo

Or Lady Gaga

Or the whole MSDNC primetime lineup

Posted by: Hilary fucking Clinton at August 29, 2011 12:49 PM (1wgaP)

94 Lawmakers should start acting as if they're serious, or...

They are serious.

They want laws to cover every aspect of our daily lives, down to the most minute fucking detail.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at August 29, 2011 12:49 PM (1rHeD)

95 A-A-A-AND the Attention Challenged Moron Horde moves on to a shiny new thread...

Yeah, five or ten years of this and we might begin to wonder if they care for our presence.

Posted by: Retread at August 29, 2011 12:49 PM (BO5ap)

96 Whatteryouguysnuts? I WANT a law that makes hot chicks have to date me and put out and stuff like that.

Posted by: LGoPs at August 29, 2011 04:44 PM (lHn6+)

That is not how the law will work. Beautiful girls aren't going to be forced to sleep with anyone. YOU are going to be forced to sleep with something hideous.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at August 29, 2011 12:49 PM (FkKjr)

97 Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovette would be subpoened as my main witnesses if an Ugly ever decides to to sue me.

Posted by: polynikes at August 29, 2011 12:49 PM (s0uvO)

98 I nominate Jeaneane Garofalo chapter president.

Posted by: dblwmy at August 29, 2011 12:50 PM (BvTwT)

99 Shouldn't the lazy and the stupid be a protected class too? They are very unlikely to succeed in life, which will create a disparity in wealth. Whose fault is it that they are lazy and stupid? Maybe it's a mental disorder, and they should have compensation. (Yes, this is sarcasm, but it is getting frighteningly close to real life.)

Posted by: Jason at August 29, 2011 12:50 PM (oooW5)

100

Lawmakers should start acting as if they're serious, or there are going to be... problems.

This nation is long past that particular milestone.

Posted by: Soona - Tearorrist at August 29, 2011 12:50 PM (ipxOT)

101 Hey, you! Yeah, you, pretty boy! Get your mask back on!

Posted by: Handicapper General at August 29, 2011 12:50 PM (v+QvA)

102 Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at August 29, 2011 04:48 PM (AZGON)

Other way around. If we're selling Ugly Credits, people who are too ugly have to buy more. That would indicate that some movie starlette would suddenly get much richer.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:50 PM (8y9MW)

103
Henry Waxman is an instant billionaire.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at August 29, 2011 04:48 PM (AZGON)

...hawt blonde bimbos will screw Jabba the Hutt if he's rich enough...

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:50 PM (niZvt)

104 Have you been to the DMV? It's a leper colony down there.

Posted by: Seinfeld at August 29, 2011 12:51 PM (KbEJl)

105 "It's like there are people out there saying, 'I have too much freedom, please take some more away.'" They don't think in those terms. They say: "*You* have too much freedom, and *we* will make the world a better place by taking them away from *you*." It never dawns on them that the blade cuts both ways because in their twisted version of reality, they are magically exempt.

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 29, 2011 12:51 PM (cbyrC)

106 Wow, Ace. Way to attempt to make the nanny state look like........well...a nanny.

Posted by: © Sponge at August 29, 2011 12:51 PM (UK9cE)

107 This has the added zinger of comparing an obviously inferior trait with traits that are generally considered to be only different, not less. You're saying minorities are less good than whitey, because ugly sure as shit is worse than pretty.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at August 29, 2011 12:51 PM (OrTTr)

108 " And think about Hooters for goodness sake." Oh, yeah, I'm seeing 250 lb. Hooters waittresses in those tiny little shorts and t shirts.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 29, 2011 12:51 PM (EJlMQ)

109

Justice at last; no more leg shaving. Yub-yub.

Posted by: Ewok-Eookie-Eco-vegan-Feminist Justice Coalition at August 29, 2011 12:52 PM (9Cr0a)

110 Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 29, 2011 04:51 PM (cbyrC)

Sadly, I know that's what they're thinking. What I don't understand is the cognitive dissonance required to be able to ignore the fact they'll be giving up their freedom, too.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:52 PM (8y9MW)

111 True ugliness is not appearance, but what comes out of some people's mouths.
It says more about one's soul than looks can.

And for an attractive first lady, she has said some ugly things.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at August 29, 2011 12:52 PM (QMtmy)

112 Judge: "Mr. Foreman, has the jury reached a verdict?" Jury Foreman: "We have, Your Honor." Judge: "Very well. The defendant will please rise while the verdict is read. You may proceed, Mr. Foreman." Jury Foreman: "We, the jury... WOULD NOT HIT THAT."

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 29, 2011 12:53 PM (p/mfs)

113 You're saying minorities are less good than whitey, because ugly sure as shit is worse than pretty.

Well, yeah, but they've believed that the whole time. At least they're consistent on that point.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:53 PM (8y9MW)

114 "He will remain the guest of American taxpayers because he's fugly, African, illegal, and another asshole Obama." Once again: He plowed into a police car on 0.14 BAC. Pussy.

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 29, 2011 12:53 PM (cbyrC)

115 So how ugly IS Helen Thomas?

So ugly the fibrous cyst on Anthony Weiner's ballsack keeps getting mistaken for her nose on twitter?

Posted by: CoolCzech at August 29, 2011 12:53 PM (niZvt)

116 Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 29, 2011 04:53 PM (p/mfs)

You are a bad, bad man. And you owe me a new laptop.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at August 29, 2011 12:54 PM (8y9MW)

117 This is a lawyer make work law.

Posted by: Vic at August 29, 2011 12:54 PM (M9Ie6)

118 You know what else isn't fair? Refusing licenses to doctors just because they haven't gone to medical school. If some aspiring healer couldn't afford to spend to seven years in a medical university, that isn't their fault. And once those college years are gone, how will an untrained unlicensed thirty year old doctor make a living? Obamacare can hire these abandoned healers. Oh, and it's discriminatory that men can't get pregnant.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at August 29, 2011 12:54 PM (AZGON)

119 "69 Whatteryouguysnuts? I WANT a law that makes hot chicks have to date me and put out and stuff like that. Posted by: LGoPs" Sure, cause it makes you feel bad and all if you strike out. It's just not fair if you aren't gettin' any. And in the world of liberals, unfairness has to be blotted out with laws.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 29, 2011 12:55 PM (EJlMQ)

120 ... and whatever Ewoks do under the leather hood (apparently, a piece of clothing ... ? ...) that they wear on thier heads ...

Posted by: Ewok-Eookie-Eco-vegan-Feminist Justice Coalition at August 29, 2011 12:55 PM (9Cr0a)

121
Robert Koselik murdered his wife in 1990. He's in prison for life.

While in prison he discovered he was a man trapped in a woman's body. A couple of idiot doctors concurred.

So he lives as "Michelle" in an all-male prison awaiting his free tranny surgery.

Did you know it was a violation of this murderer's Constitutional rights to have a subsidized sex change? Yep.

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 12:56 PM (sqkOB)

122 they are serious -- That's what makes them dangerous

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at August 29, 2011 12:57 PM (UqKQV)

123 Undeniable truth of life #24.

Posted by: blaster at August 29, 2011 12:57 PM (l5dj7)

124 I'm proud that we morons can rise above our personal best interests and oppose these laws on principle.

What's the matter with Kansas AoS HQ?

Posted by: sandy burger at August 29, 2011 12:57 PM (L07Yb)

125
The point: this cockamamie concept of 'Social Justice' is limitless in its scope and reach.

The Left is destroying our way of life, our country with their idiotic applications of social justice.

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 12:58 PM (sqkOB)

126 Helen Thomas for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover!

Posted by: real joe at August 29, 2011 01:00 PM (w7Lv+)

127
This is no different from allowing trannies to compete in the LPGA.

Same shit, different 'victim.'

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 01:00 PM (sqkOB)

128 The Left is destroying our way of life, our country with their idiotic applications of social justice.

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 04:58 PM (sqkOB)

Which makes things like this possible

Posted by: kathysaysso at August 29, 2011 01:01 PM (ZtwUX)

129 20 Alternately know as the "Harry Waxman and Barney Frank" bill

Posted by: William Amos at August 29, 2011 04:36 PM (HcYmo)

The continued re-election of Henry Waxman is 100% a result of the Keep Beverly Hills Beautiful campaign

Posted by: phreshone at August 29, 2011 01:02 PM (T3vCe)

130 Anyone see the King Of The Hill episode where Dale was testifying regard to his opinion of the looks of certain celebrities. Shown a picture of Julia Roberts he simply said "a horse is a horse is a horse". You've got to love Mike Judge.

Posted by: polynikes at August 29, 2011 01:02 PM (s0uvO)

131 The common denominator, besides liberalism, of the Times staff is their lack of looks....

Posted by: phreshone at August 29, 2011 01:03 PM (T3vCe)

132 133 Anyone see the King Of The Hill episode where Dale was testifying regard to his opinion of the looks of certain celebrities. Shown a picture of Julia Roberts he simply said "a horse is a horse is a horse". You've got to love Mike Judge.

Posted by: polynikes at August 29, 2011 05:02 PM (s0uvO)

NEIGH!!!!

Posted by: Sarah Jessic Parker at August 29, 2011 01:05 PM (niZvt)

133 Many of us do all those things, but as studies have shown, such refinements make only small differences in our beauty.

Beauty may be skin deep but ugly runs right to the bone.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at August 29, 2011 01:05 PM (PMGbu)

134 131 The Left is destroying our way of life, our country with their idiotic applications of social justice.
Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 04:58 PM (sqkOB)

Just suck it up and hand over your light bulb!

Posted by: Leftist UnAmerican at August 29, 2011 01:06 PM (niZvt)

135

Posted by: blaster at August 29, 2011 04:45 PM (l5dj7)

It's how they try to rule our conduct now. Political correctness is how they attempt to control our speech. Rand is a fucking prophet.

Posted by: Soona - Tearorrist at August 29, 2011 01:06 PM (ipxOT)

136 Ugly! Who gives a shit about ugly? How about alphabetism? Do you have any idea how many lines I was at the tail end of during school because my last name doesn't start with an "a"? This is a crisis, people!

Posted by: JohnW at August 29, 2011 01:07 PM (otAf3)

137 No one will ever accuse the NYT of not being in front of this story. From the Mexican billionaire to Jill Abrahamson,they haven't hires anyone attractive in years

Posted by: working man's PhD at August 29, 2011 01:08 PM (le5qc)

138 To help forestall this dangerous legal precedent, I hereby make myself available to ladies who are only "moderately attractive" for the sex they feel they are otherwise missing by lacking supermodel genes or lifestyles. Because I'm a giver.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at August 29, 2011 01:12 PM (bxiXv)

139 Where do I apply for my hooker ration stamps?

Posted by: The Chap in the Deerstalker Cap at August 29, 2011 01:13 PM (qndXR)

140
there was electricity in Africa...

in ancient times?

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 01:15 PM (sqkOB)

141
There's hardly any electricity in Africa NOW!

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 01:15 PM (sqkOB)

142
She's a slave?

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 01:15 PM (sqkOB)

143
She's a perfect example of leftist indoctrination.

All she's saying is She Didn't Land On Plymouth fuckin Rock.

Plymouth fuckin Rock Landed on Her Ass.

Posted by: soothsayer at August 29, 2011 01:17 PM (sqkOB)

144 "...hawt blonde bimbos will screw Jabba the Hutt if he's rich enough..." Oh, hell yeah. That old geezer Hefner had 3 of them in bed at the same time.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 29, 2011 01:17 PM (EJlMQ)

145 Has anyone mentioned yet that fat chicks give the best blow jobs?

Posted by: Soona - Tearorrist at August 29, 2011 01:17 PM (ipxOT)

146 Jury Foreman: "We, the jury... WOULD NOT HIT THAT."

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 29, 2011 04:53 PM (p/mfs)

comedy gold baby

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at August 29, 2011 01:18 PM (pdRb1)

147 Does ugly trump black? As is, can I, certifiably ugly but white, rise to become the editor of the Harvard Law Review, over my black rival, who isn't really all black, but just half so.

Affirmative ugly action?

Besides, he's cute, and I'm . . . ugly.

I'm gonna ask Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

Posted by: I'm in a New York state of mind at August 29, 2011 01:21 PM (4sQwu)

148 "It never dawns on them that the blade cuts both ways because in their twisted version of reality, they are magically exempt." Kind of like the rich liberals who are all for raising the tax rate for the top income tax bracket, but use every tax loophole known to man to shelter their own income.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 29, 2011 01:22 PM (EJlMQ)

149 How do you rate ugly? By anti-milli-Helens.

If Helen was so beautiful that she "launched a thousand ships" then one milli-Helen is the amount of beauty that would launch one ship.

Obviously, then, one anti-milli-Helen would be the amount of ugly it takes to sink a ship. I figure Helen Thomas rates around and 800 at least.

Posted by: JorgXMcKie at August 29, 2011 01:24 PM (290l2)

150 They might as well include the "Stupid" in the protected class because there are thousands in the mainstream media that need that protection.

Posted by: rplat at August 29, 2011 01:36 PM (4vq8i)

151 Excellent - a career in Hollywood now awaits me!

Posted by: Erik Larsen at August 29, 2011 01:39 PM (jbWs+)

152 108
Uncle Omar may be eligible for deportation for DUI and other crimes, but will qualify for the ugly protected class payment. He will remain the guest of American taxpayers because he's fugly, African, illegal, and another asshole Obama.

My Kenyan relatives stay in Kenya or wait their turn and come over legally. His don't. Hmmm....

(In fairness, I told mine not to tell me if one of them comes over illegally, because I would turn him/him in.)

Posted by: baldilocks at August 29, 2011 01:59 PM (T2/zQ)

153 This bad news. I'm trying to find a nanny for my 2 month old daughter, and I gotta admit, I'm ruling out most of the ugly ones. In my defense, they are no more qualified than the good looking ones, but I'm certainly giving an edge to the cute ones.

Posted by: UGAdawg at August 29, 2011 02:13 PM (H6JHE)

154

I am thinking this really helps Chaz Bono (bless it's heart).

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at August 29, 2011 02:20 PM (fNdyx)

155

Idle time, idle minds.

Posted by: Tsar Nicholas II at August 29, 2011 02:34 PM (f8XyF)

156

Is this some kind of argument against Hollywood's hiring practices?

'cause let me tell you, most of the models, actors and actresses out there aren't exactly blessed in the looks department.

I guess the point is that ugly can be a subjective term. So how exactly could you prove that someone wasn't hired because of their looks? Put the person before a jury and ask, "Is this an ugly person?" The answers will not be the same across the board. (I see the joke has been made upthread)

Posted by: soulpile is... at August 29, 2011 02:39 PM (Mk/IQ)

157 It would probably be cheaper and more efficient in the long run if we just mar the faces of the beautiful so that we'd all be "ugly", and we can inject the beautiful with cellulite so that they wouldn't have an ideal weight. Once again liberals attack standards that have protected society for centuries, in the name of psycho babble and lacunaic rights.

Posted by: eaglewingz08 at August 29, 2011 02:48 PM (na8r5)

158 It's kind of funny who didn't show up on this thread IYKWIM.

Posted by: Y-not at August 29, 2011 03:35 PM (5H6zj)

159 I hear that we ugly people will soon have protection from all you Normals.
About time. I have been Ugly, short, white and female all my life.
I used to be chubby but the world past me by and now I'm skinny, ugly, short, white and old.
Doomed. I'm doomed even with an Ugly Rights Amendment.

Posted by: Pecos at August 29, 2011 03:42 PM (2Gb0y)

160
That is useful information and its quite easy to come a croper if you are not vigilant.

Posted by: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People AudioBook at August 29, 2011 03:58 PM (pCCk4)

161 The heck with ugly, I want annoyed to be protected by law. IRS, TSA and all the government acronyms annoy the heck out of me. For a quarter million, I'll stew in silence.

Posted by: MarkD at August 29, 2011 04:31 PM (iYBP2)

162

I submit Deb Wasserman-Schultz for the soon to be created post of Handicapper General.

Posted by: Pigilito at August 29, 2011 04:55 PM (CU+o0)

163 Thanks alot
great job

Posted by: ramiMAHER at August 29, 2011 08:03 PM (Nij6I)

164 Six degrees of Kevin's Bacon:

Posted by: Elmo at August 29, 2011 11:12 PM (v/crt)

165 F*CK the comments thingy ... all the way up with a red hot poker!
Will never bother again. Ever. What freakin masochists. On topic (six degrees), over at The Right Scoop, 'japanese-firm-orders-employees-to-get-identical-energy-saving-haircuts'.

Posted by: Elmo at August 29, 2011 11:16 PM (v/crt)

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