Ace of Spades HQ

November 13, 2011

Porn Studio Prepares for Pornopocalypse [Truman North]
— Open Blogger

Yes, we apparently have all of our other problems solved.

Â“Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury,Â” said Pink Visual spokesman Quentin Boyer, Â“whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above.Â”

If you love your family like I love mine, you'll be sure to invest in this critical venture. For posterity.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 01:19 PM | Comments (66)
Post contains 93 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Stimulus project ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 13, 2011 01:21 PM (npr0X)

2 So when you are tired from a hard day of hunting long pork, you can rub one out to new content.

Posted by: fluffy at November 13, 2011 01:22 PM (4Kl5M)

I worked hard to link this.

Enjoy it, dammit

http://preview.tinyurl.com/2wqxxb7

Posted by: ErikW at November 13, 2011 01:24 PM (9W8Az)

4 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins, and yet each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers. That makes me angry. And when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people DIE!

Posted by: Dr. Evil at November 13, 2011 01:25 PM (QKKT0)

5 Which one is the Sex Room?

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at November 13, 2011 01:27 PM (QKKT0)

6 I love listening to the hippie-pleadings...

Posted by: billygoat at November 13, 2011 01:27 PM (smit2)

I really do resent the Federal Reserve, like Ron Paul, but I disagree on his gold bug mitigation.

I'm for a Peter North, testicular mint backed dollar. The Chinese have no answer for that.

Nor do the Japanese, even with their obsession with a B word I won't talk about here.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 13, 2011 01:27 PM (+97oS)

8 If Yellowstone explodes we'll be assured of a steady supply of quality porn.

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at November 13, 2011 01:28 PM (QKKT0)

9 It will be the Technological Singularity, it will either kill or radically change (then kill) everyone of our species, including probably our grand kids if not kids, and pornsters will not survive either.

Posted by: Random at November 13, 2011 01:29 PM (YiE0S)

10 Click on the blue print (heh ). Which moron do we thank for this and where do we send money ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 13, 2011 01:30 PM (npr0X)

11 Twitter followers get preferential admission treatment? WTF.

I suspect rdbrewer is somehow involved in this project.

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 13, 2011 01:31 PM (ENKCw)

12 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at November 13, 2011 01:32 PM (7WJOC)

people who drink beer 364 days a year should not drink Jim Beam in a tea glass on ice on that one day a year................. we need Cowbell........

Posted by: Racefan at November 13, 2011 01:34 PM (A6Vk2)

Nobody digging Cinderella's epic love anthem?

It's like you bastards are un -appreciative of 80's hair bands and what not.

Posted by: ErikW at November 13, 2011 01:36 PM (9W8Az)

Ten women to each man, hopefully.

That is a curse in disguise if I've ever heard one.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at November 13, 2011 01:37 PM (tKFT6)

16 16 Synchronoized PMS times 10.

Posted by: steevy at November 13, 2011 01:38 PM (7WJOC)

17 ErikW , The only thing that didn't suck about Duran Duran were their videos ....... as long as they were muted .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 13, 2011 01:39 PM (npr0X)

18 ErikW at November 13, 2011 05:36 PM I'm witcha dude. I love me some Hairbands.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 13, 2011 01:40 PM (ZDUD4)

19 The only thing that didn't suck about Duran Duran were their videos ....... as long as they were muted .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 13, 2011 05:39 PM (npr0X)

...Robert Palmer's too.

Posted by: billygoat at November 13, 2011 01:40 PM (smit2)

20 Huh, I don't see the breast implantation kiosk. Future womens won't look like mama.

Posted by: dagny at November 13, 2011 01:41 PM (kRzK5)

21 @18: DD was not a hair band. You're looking for Cinderella, Bon Jovi, Poison, etc, etc.

Posted by: Ian S. at November 13, 2011 01:42 PM (Lpdzt)

22 The only thing that didn't suck about Duran Duran were their videos ....... as long as they were muted .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 13, 2011 05:39 PM (npr0X)

View to a Kill was awesome and still the best Roger Moore film.

Posted by: ErikW at November 13, 2011 01:43 PM (9W8Az)

23 22 Yeah,DD was pop/techno limey crap.

Posted by: steevy at November 13, 2011 01:44 PM (7WJOC)

24 Ian S. at November 13, 2011 05:42 PM Don't forget THE hairband. Motley Crue.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 13, 2011 01:44 PM (ZDUD4)

25 need head ache cure stat.......already took 2 advil....claritan d....have ice pack on my head.....nothing is working.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl ready to drink the perry flavor-aid..can i get a different flavor? at November 13, 2011 01:45 PM (SH3gZ)

26 cant drink it away have to drive

Posted by: phoenixgirl ready to drink the perry flavor-aid..can i get a different flavor? at November 13, 2011 01:45 PM (SH3gZ)

27 Speaking of Roger Moore ......... for this to work we need the porn bunker in space al a Moonraker . For the children .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 13, 2011 01:46 PM (npr0X)

28 cant drink it away have to drive Goody's headache powder and a strong cup of coffee.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 13, 2011 01:48 PM (ZDUD4)

29 ill try the coffee i have no powder

Posted by: phoenixgirl ready to drink the perry flavor-aid..can i get a different flavor? at November 13, 2011 01:49 PM (SH3gZ)

30 thank you oldsailor's poet

Posted by: phoenixgirl ready to drink the perry flavor-aid..can i get a different flavor? at November 13, 2011 01:50 PM (SH3gZ)

31 Â“whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above.Â”

Of course you know that they'll want to make a porn with those zombies..

Posted by: Barney Frank at November 13, 2011 01:51 PM (2ZL3m)

32 Off, off you filthy sock!

Posted by: Dave C at November 13, 2011 01:51 PM (2ZL3m)

33 From the link:

The studio is currently working out details on the selection criteria for all non-Pink Visual personnel who they will allow to take refuge in the bunker, but Boyer said it will Â“likely include both merit-based and random selections, with Pink Visual performers, active site members and Twitter followers getting priority over the general public.Â”

Who knew my porn addiction would eventually save my family?

Posted by: Dave C at November 13, 2011 01:54 PM (2ZL3m)

34 Phoenixgirl - only Excedrin Migraine works for me

Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 13, 2011 01:55 PM (SB0V2)

35 Phoenixgirl - only Excedrin Migraine works for me Never used it but have heard good things.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 13, 2011 01:57 PM (ZDUD4)

36 I think "pornocalypse" is the correct word

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 13, 2011 01:58 PM (loM0R)

37 Henry Bemis: "And the best thing, the very best thing of all, is there's time now... there's all the time I need and all the time I want. Time, time, time. There's time enough at last." [goes to pick up a porn video, but in doing so his glasses fall off and break. He slowly raises his glasses to his face, seeing they are completely broken] Henry Bemis: "That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was, was all the time I needed... "

Posted by: davidr at November 13, 2011 02:01 PM (iJz2Y)

38 I think "pornocalypse" is the correct word Could be a Cuntastrophic event.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 13, 2011 02:01 PM (ZDUD4)

39 It's old. Saw it here before.

Posted by: cranky-d at November 13, 2011 02:02 PM (H2G0R)

40 Phoenixgirl- Chocolate. I don't know if it will help but it could never hurt.

Posted by: Alice's Clone Army at November 13, 2011 02:04 PM (4GaxX)

41 ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!?

Posted by: Blackie Lawless at November 13, 2011 02:04 PM (4btib)

Meeting you for a view to a kill.

Face to face, secret places feel the chill.

Posted by: ErikW at November 13, 2011 02:05 PM (9W8Az)

43 Why do you think that was Moore's best bond film? I thought it was good but goo back and forth over time as to its merits as a bond film. It does seem almost a little campy at times.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 13, 2011 02:10 PM (loM0R)

44 Clearly the effects of the Obama presidency is finally starting to dawn on some of the more clueless members of the population.

Posted by: Zooey Deschanel's Adorable Cuteness Supports Rick Perry's Ruger for President at November 13, 2011 02:11 PM (TCyyS)

45 Yes, we'll all have to sacrifice...but seriously, I won't Twitter

Turgidson:

Doctor, you mentioned the ration of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

Strangelove:

Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

KBO

Posted by: Whiskey_Joe at November 13, 2011 02:12 PM (uYXYP)

46 38 Henry Bemis...

Robot Chicken did a "porno" version of that TZ episode except his dick fell off instead.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at November 13, 2011 02:14 PM (Qxdfp)

47 Regarding the porn bunker. How do you think having a bunker full of people who throw sex around like candy is going to affect the value of sexual favors in their world? I am not sure if it is going to completely debase the form of currency or push performance standards to new heights.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 13, 2011 02:14 PM (loM0R)

48 Don't screw around tonight, well it's bound to give you clap, there's a bad dick on the rise...

Posted by: Credence Clearwater Revival updating their album for LA Porn at November 13, 2011 02:15 PM (TCyyS)

49 General Buck, you know the girl in the rio video is not a girl?

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 13, 2011 02:16 PM (loM0R)

Pink Visual?!? Is that like "On Golden Blonde"? Maybe we should run this by Obama, give him another chance to vote "Present". He certainly found a novel way to do that this week ... http://bit.ly/qVdDUt

Posted by: ombdz at November 13, 2011 02:17 PM (2DpoY)

51 Good grief!

Posted by: jaimo at November 13, 2011 02:18 PM (ZHPDT)

52 26 need head ache cure stat.......already took 2 advil....claritan d....have ice pack on my head.....nothing is working.....

Hangover?

Anyway, alka seltzer plus cold works well for me, often.

Also, I do not use ice packs -- I use hot "bots" (those ones filled with buckwheat that you microwave).

Finally, the sex usually helps.

Posted by: Y-not at November 13, 2011 02:20 PM (5H6zj)

53 hangover cure fatty foods. sausage egg and cheese breakfast sandwich

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 13, 2011 02:25 PM (loM0R)

Hangover?

Chocolate milk

Posted by: madamex at November 13, 2011 02:32 PM (5QdhV)

55 i went to HA a second ago. i saw a neanderthal, alan grayson, or so he calls himself, running ads. where is a house fire when you need one?

Posted by: whiskey tango at November 13, 2011 02:33 PM (JvP2I)

56 need head ache cure stat.......already took 2 advil....claritan d....have ice pack on my head.....nothing is working.....

I've been currently pretty much knocked out with a headache myself most of the afternoon so here's my suggestions:

Caffeine - whatever works best for you, coffee, coke/pepsi whatever

Chocolate - dark is better but any kind will do

Aleve works best for me

Heating pad on back of neck

Sex - solo or not - the endorphins at least make you not care about the headache

Posted by: alexthechick at November 13, 2011 02:35 PM (Gk3SS)

57 Sex - solo or not - the endorphins at least make you not care about the headache Posted by: alexthechick at November 13, 2011 06:35 PM (Gk3SS) which is why they will not need aspirin in the pornbunker

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 13, 2011 02:43 PM (loM0R)

58 Hangover?

Strong Bloody Mary works well, the sooner ya get drunk again the sooner the hangover will be over.

Posted by: Killerdog at November 13, 2011 02:55 PM (CZrbJ)

59 This story reminds me of the Golden Globes porn studio in Fallout 2.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at November 13, 2011 04:04 PM (vQfJ3)

60 IMO, Excedrin Migraine Formula is the best hangover remedy.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at November 13, 2011 04:05 PM (vQfJ3)

61 I am definitely bookmarking this page and sharing it with my friends.

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