Ace of Spades HQ

May 21, 2011

Preakness Thread
— Ace

Prediction: The fastest horse will win.

I don't think this will actually help you handicap the race, but it probably can't hurt, either.

Posted by: Ace at 02:11 PM | Comments (262)
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

1 where is everybody?

Posted by: nine c at May 21, 2011 02:16 PM (uz3hs)

2 Mucho Macho Man to win.

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 02:16 PM (gUsHQ)

3 In order to win, your team has to score more points than the other team.

Posted by: Real Men Of Genius at May 21, 2011 02:16 PM (WRtsc)

4 The fastest horse will win? I go this little rub and injectable here that might help

Posted by: Barry Bonds at May 21, 2011 02:16 PM (7wmOW)

5
Human Cain!

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:16 PM (2O5Hd)

6 Pulling for Mucho Macho Man. Just because.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:17 PM (UOM48)

Posted by: nine c at May 21, 2011 02:17 PM (uz3hs)

8 wrong: The lightest jockey will win.

Posted by: SantaRosaStan, who's always watching at May 21, 2011 02:17 PM (UqKQV)

9 His mudder was a mudder. His fadda was a mudder.

Posted by: toby928™ at May 21, 2011 02:17 PM (GTbGH)

10 I still have issues...

Posted by: Real Men Of Genius at May 21, 2011 02:17 PM (WRtsc)

11 A shame there's no horse named Some Moron.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:17 PM (UOM48)

12 Lotta horse's asses in Md as usual.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 21, 2011 02:17 PM (HBqDo)

13 Considering we're playing the mu.nuinverse we must be pulling for Shackleford.

Posted by: Papa Editor at May 21, 2011 02:18 PM (6neGz)

14 I haven't been into racing since Smarty Jones broke my heart.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:18 PM (UOM48)

15 2 Mucho Macho Man to win.

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 06:16 PM (gUsHQ)

--If the world does not end but Mucho Macho Man wins, the joke's on us from the Almighty.

Posted by: logprof at May 21, 2011 02:19 PM (BP6Z1)

16 Who's the horse having a fit going into the gate?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:20 PM (UOM48)

17
is this the Counselor Troi camel toe thrad?

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:20 PM (AvO0L)

18 Dance City is losing his fucking mind trying to get in the gate. Perfect Ron Horse.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at May 21, 2011 02:20 PM (NtTkA)

19 "Prediction: The fastest horse will win." Not necessarily. There are a lot of issues that can affect which wins. The fastest horse can get into a position where it has a hard time passing other horses, gets blocked in. If it runs to hard during the first part of the race, it may not have anything left near the end when the other horses bolt and make their final dash. We used to have a track in my area. I would bet on the horse than had the most firsts. Then I overheard a woman who owned race horses tell someone that any of the horses that came in the first four places, could have been the winner. Difference between winner and loser can be a fraction of a second.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 21, 2011 02:21 PM (1ckSh)

20 Mr. Commons for the win

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at May 21, 2011 02:21 PM (NtTkA)

21 Hey since it's in maryland and the annapolis glee club sang--I'll go with that West Point horse?

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2011 02:21 PM (7wmOW)

22 Come on Shackleford!

Posted by: Papa Editor at May 21, 2011 02:22 PM (6neGz)

23 Do the women wear the big hats at the Preakness?

Posted by: Vic at May 21, 2011 02:22 PM (M9Ie6)

24 I'm 40 years old and have no damned clue what Preakness is. I gather that it's a horse race, but otherwise- I got nothin'.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 21, 2011 02:23 PM (SY2Kh)

25 Shackleford! Shackleford! Shackleford!

Posted by: Papa Editor at May 21, 2011 02:23 PM (6neGz)

26 Midnight Interlube would be a good alternate name for the ONT.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 21, 2011 02:23 PM (HBqDo)

27 damn..... Sara Parker wins by a nose.

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 02:24 PM (gUsHQ)

28 Those who bet on Shackleford, collect your winnings!

Posted by: logprof at May 21, 2011 02:24 PM (BP6Z1)

29 I already knew who would win but I wasn't allowed to say.

Posted by: Ace of Heaven, Second-Tier Blogger For Traditionalist Faction In Heaven at May 21, 2011 02:24 PM (nj1bB)

30
my money is on Dominique Strauss Khan

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:24 PM (AvO0L)

31 And that's why I am not a Gambler.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at May 21, 2011 02:24 PM (NtTkA)

32 27 damn..... Sara Parker wins by a nose.

Camilla was a close second.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:25 PM (UOM48)

33 Shackleford sure looked ornery getting into the gate, but what a great race he gave!

Posted by: logprof at May 21, 2011 02:25 PM (BP6Z1)

34 Wire to wire for Shackleford.

Posted by: Papa Editor at May 21, 2011 02:26 PM (6neGz)

35 The winning jockey....doing a job Americans won't do.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:26 PM (UOM48)

Nice race by Shackleford. What a beautiful animal

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 21, 2011 02:26 PM (yQWNf)

37 no Triple Crown this year........

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 02:26 PM (gUsHQ)

38 Okay, so who is administering the UA on Shackleford?

Posted by: Papa Editor at May 21, 2011 02:27 PM (6neGz)

39 16 Who's the horse having a fit going into the gate?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 06:20 PM (UOM4

--Both Shackleford and Mr. Common (#14, probably the one you were referring to) were being stubborn.

Posted by: logprof at May 21, 2011 02:27 PM (BP6Z1)

40 Jockey is speaking to his mom in Mexico....in Mexican (for King Barry).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:27 PM (UOM48)

41 no Triple Crown this year........ Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 06:26 PM (gUsHQ) Can ya smell my ass?

Posted by: Affirmed at May 21, 2011 02:27 PM (7wmOW)

42
Barky's Folly ran strong, but the conservative horses blocked him on the rail and we will file a complaint with the Racing Association.

Posted by: Bob Beckel, Democrat Analyst at May 21, 2011 02:28 PM (cwFVA)

Posted by: Truck Monkey

They really are amazing animals aren't they?

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 21, 2011 02:28 PM (Z05lF)

44 How is Julia Roberts doing in the race?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 21, 2011 02:28 PM (c0A3e)

45 Ace of Heaven, Second-Tier Blogger For Traditionalist Faction In Heaven

Who's the First-Tier Blogger?

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt at May 21, 2011 02:29 PM (/U/Mr)

46 It's not the size of the jockey in the race, it's the size of the race in the jockey. And also, the smaller jockey will probably win.

Posted by: Ace of Heaven, Second-Tier Blogger For Traditionalist Faction In Heaven at May 21, 2011 02:29 PM (nj1bB)

47 >>>Who's the First-Tier Blogger? I don't understand why but it's Rachel Ray.

Posted by: Ace of Heaven, Second-Tier Blogger For Traditionalist Faction In Heaven at May 21, 2011 02:29 PM (nj1bB)

48 Twenty-five years ago I exercised a horse for the daughter of one of my bosses while she was up North. He was the grandson of Secretariat, named Follow the King. We called him Folly. He was huge, and very sweet. Slowest horse I've ever ridden.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:30 PM (UOM48)

49
My horse didn't perform as expected, and ended the race with a long face.

Posted by: John Kerry, D-Masshole at May 21, 2011 02:30 PM (cwFVA)

50 I'd hit her.

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt at May 21, 2011 02:30 PM (/U/Mr)

51 29 I already knew who would win but I wasn't allowed to say.

Posted by: Ace of Heaven, Second-Tier Blogger For Traditionalist Faction In Heaven at May 21, 2011 06:24 PM (nj1bB)

will they let you tell us tonights winning Lotto numbers are?

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 02:31 PM (gUsHQ)

52 If I were in Heaven.

And Out, Out, Damn Sockpuppet.

Posted by: Jphn P. Squibob at May 21, 2011 02:31 PM (/U/Mr)

53 Exhibit 1,827,562 why I don't bet big on sports.

Posted by: logprof at May 21, 2011 02:31 PM (BP6Z1)

43 They sure are. I spent all day at a Hunter Pace ride for my daughter out in the Maryland countryside and just got home about 1/2 hour ago to catch the race. Now I need a cocktail.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 21, 2011 02:31 PM (yQWNf)

55 Animal Kingdom got to far back early on and it cost him.

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 02:31 PM (OluE0)

56 Now I'm hot and bothered.

Posted by: Sarah Jessica Parker at May 21, 2011 02:31 PM (BP6Z1)

57
I already knew who would win but I wasn't allowed to say.

Posted by: Ace of Heaven, Second-Tier Blogger For Traditionalist Faction In Heaven at May 21, 2011 06:24 PM (nj1bB)

Only one phone call to me and it would have been in the bag.

Posted by: Miss Cleo, Psychic Friends Network at May 21, 2011 02:32 PM (cwFVA)

58 But I guess I'll stay on Earth and try to hit Janine Turner.

Posted by: Jphn P. Squibob at May 21, 2011 02:32 PM (/U/Mr)

59 I guess it's safe to light the grill now.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:33 PM (UOM48)

60 Twenty-five years ago I exercised a horse for the daughter of one of my bosses while she was up North. He was the grandson of Secretariat, named Follow the King. We called him Folly. He was huge, and very sweet. Slowest horse I've ever ridden. Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 06:30 PM (UOM4

I was in my dad's liquor store watching a little black and white TV: Secretariat by 5 lengths 10 lengths....Secretariat is moving like a ..... One of the greatest performances I ever saw

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2011 02:33 PM (7wmOW)

61 Not if you had a lot of beans for lunch, Jane.

_{yes, I stole that from an earlier thread}

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 02:34 PM (OluE0)

62 "Shackleford sure looked ornery getting into the gate, but what a great race he gave!" That was another mistake I used to make. I would look at the horses in the paddock, and assume that the ones rearing up, jumping around were going to use up their energy and lose. Sometimes the nutjobs win.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 21, 2011 02:34 PM (1ckSh)

63 No Apocalypse.

Now I can get laid.

Posted by: Zenyatta at May 21, 2011 02:35 PM (BP6Z1)

64
Really?

A horse thrad?

Really?

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:35 PM (2O5Hd)

65 Not if you had a lot of beans for lunch, Jane. yes, I stole that from an earlier thread Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 06:34 PM (OluE0) Don't worry, I'll bill ya!

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2011 02:35 PM (7wmOW)

66 Really?

A horse thrad?

Really?

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 06:35 PM (2O5Hd)

Fine by me, asswipe.

Posted by: Matthew Broderick at May 21, 2011 02:36 PM (BP6Z1)

67 Was that time any kind of a record...they were screaming the whole way.

Posted by: De' Debil Hisself at May 21, 2011 02:36 PM (H+LJc)

The ad below this thread shows a big picture of a hamburger.

Insert "what happens to the losers" joke here.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 21, 2011 02:37 PM (SY2Kh)

69
Fox News and Fox Business News Race Horses

1. Megyn Kelly

2. Martha McCallum

3. Kiren Chetry

4. Julliett Huddy

5. Arthel Nevel

6. Diane Macedo

7. A player to be named in the draft....

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 21, 2011 02:38 PM (cwFVA)

70 Ace, do they let you dress up like an adult baby?

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 21, 2011 02:38 PM (/9ciG)

71
Kiran Chetry left Fox a long time ago. She went to CNN.

Now she's on CBS or ABC or NBC in the morning. One of 'em.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:40 PM (AvO0L)

72 Holy crap, there's fantasy horse racing now?

Way too many degenerate gamblers out there. . . .

Posted by: logprof at May 21, 2011 02:40 PM (BP6Z1)

73
More proof that there only regret is that the Nazis were unsuccessful in killing all the Jews. Scotland Plans to Ban Israeli Books.

Posted by: Rabbi Bloody Mary at May 21, 2011 02:42 PM (zL6Hj)

74
so...nothing new from Judy?

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:42 PM (AvO0L)

I have been to Pimlico several times for several different events. Shitty part of Baltimore. You would be safer out on the track trying to avoid the horses than walking back to your car 90% of the time. It is a sad and depressing place as Maryland's horse racing industry is dying as gamblers flee to close by casinos.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 21, 2011 02:42 PM (yQWNf)

76 Heaven's not worth it unless they have big baby clothes.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 21, 2011 02:42 PM (/9ciG)

77 Way too many degenerate gamblers out there. . . . Posted by: logprof at May 21, 2011 06:40 PM (BP6Z1) You say that like it is a problem?

Posted by: Ace Rosenthal at May 21, 2011 02:43 PM (7wmOW)

78 71
Kiran Chetry left Fox a long time ago. She went to CNN.

Now she's on CBS or ABC or NBC in the morning. One of 'em.

No, she's still on the Commie News Network. And Fox was graced with John Roberts.

The Weber is lit.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:43 PM (UOM48)

79
so...nothing new from Judy?

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 06:42 PM (AvO0L)

It's been reported that Judy spent the afternoon primping her taco.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 21, 2011 02:44 PM (cwFVA)

80
Judy is discussing politics with her cats, Raspberry, Jingles, Buster, and Princess Meow Meow.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:45 PM (AvO0L)

81
John Roberts is Canadian.

Which means he has no soul.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:46 PM (2O5Hd)

82 80
Judy is discussing politics with her cats, Raspberry, Jingles, Buster, and Princess Meow Meow.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 06:45 PM (AvO0L)

Horrible names.

I do not approve.

Posted by: Angela Martin at May 21, 2011 02:47 PM (BP6Z1)

83 Evenin'

What's trouble is everyone getting into tonight and whaddya having to drink?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 02:47 PM (fqBLE)

What's trouble

whaddya having to drink

Not as much as you apparently.

Pinot Noir.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 21, 2011 02:48 PM (dWPyO)

85 No Apocalypse.

Now I can get laid.
Posted by: Zenyatta at May 21, 2011 06:35 PM

Sorry, you are far too valuable. All you get is a thin plastic tube with some sperm in it.

Posted by: huerfano at May 21, 2011 02:48 PM (IN2A4)

86 83 Evenin'

What's trouble is everyone getting into tonight and whaddya having to drink?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 06:47 PM (fqBLE)

Well, I waited until it was "safe" to light the grill, and I'm hoping God isn't a practical joker.

And I'm drinking wine.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:48 PM (UOM48)

87
I tend to judge pet owners by the names of their cats and dogs.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:49 PM (2O5Hd)

88 What's trouble is everyone getting into tonight and whaddya having to drink? Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 06:47 PM (fqBLE) red wine tenuta del portale aglianico del vulture riserva 2004

Posted by: Ace Rosenthal at May 21, 2011 02:50 PM (7wmOW)

89 Punctuation is not welcome in this household ever on Saturday nights.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 02:50 PM (fqBLE)

90 I tend to judge pet owners by the names of their cats and dogs. Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 06:49 PM (2O5Hd) 3 cats: Samson Solomon and Sidd

Posted by: Ace Rosenthal at May 21, 2011 02:50 PM (7wmOW)

91 What's trouble is everyone getting into tonight and whaddya having to drink?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 06:47 PM (fqBLE)

Uh, none and cheap swill, respectively. I did just roll out and get a pizza, not all that good, but it's here, which is the main thing. How you doin'?

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 02:51 PM (afUO8)

92 Me, I'm drinking angels tears. Pricey stuff.

Posted by: Ronster at May 21, 2011 02:51 PM (NUo+O)

93 oops sock off

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2011 02:51 PM (7wmOW)

94 Two kittehs: Sandy and Spanky. And they're both girls (the boy named them).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:51 PM (UOM48)

95
Judy Tenuta. There's a popular comedian who never once made me laugh.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:51 PM (AvO0L)

96 I tend to judge pet owners by the names of their cats and dogs.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 06:49 PM (2O5Hd)

I have a Weimaraner. A good girl named Zelda.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 21, 2011 02:52 PM (yQWNf)

97 Two kittehs: Cecil and Baby Zoey. Baby Zoey is seriously fat.

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 02:52 PM (afUO8)

98
I tend to judge pet owners by the names of their cats and dogs.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 06:49 PM (2O5Hd)

I feed a scraggly outside cat named Barky who licks his nuts.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 21, 2011 02:52 PM (cwFVA)

99 92 Me, I'm drinking angels tears. Pricey stuff.

Better than mermaid tears...so I hear.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 21, 2011 02:52 PM (c0A3e)

100 Hey Peaches, Delta, Jane, and everyone else.

Bicardi and Diet Coke now and probably until the bottle is empty. Or I pass out. Whichever comes first.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 02:52 PM (fqBLE)

101 My cat is named Catster.

Posted by: Ronster at May 21, 2011 02:53 PM (NUo+O)

102
yeah, those are normal names

the ones that set off the warning signals are names that start with Mister..., or Miss...or Princess...

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:53 PM (AvO0L)

103
My pussy's name is Calista.

Posted by: Newt the Grinchwich at May 21, 2011 02:53 PM (cwFVA)

104
or Baby....

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:54 PM (AvO0L)

105 Jai Alai IPA from Cigar City Brewing. Best market-available IPA out there now.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 21, 2011 02:54 PM (RPYjQ)

106 I had a great horse when I was a young girl (he died when I was in my twenties).

His name when we bought him was Duke. I changed his name to My Dandy Lad, for the show ring. I've hated myself for that ever since I grew out of my teens. Poor old fellow.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:54 PM (UOM48)

107
My favorite dog who won the ugliest dog contest, Uncle Fester.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 21, 2011 02:54 PM (cwFVA)

108
104

Shut up

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 02:55 PM (afUO8)

109 Judy was raptured by a pair of CH-54s and inserted through Heaven's gate using enough butter to feed Zimbabwe for a decade.

Posted by: Oliver Willis's Shoe Shine Boy at May 21, 2011 02:55 PM (lT0LC)

110 i have two porch kittehs...... ones white, ones black can you guess their names?

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 02:56 PM (gUsHQ)

111 Jai Alai IPA from Cigar City Brewing. Best market-available IPA out there now. Posted by: USS Diversity at May 21, 2011 06:54 PM (RPYjQ) Had one of those for breakfast last Sunday. Nice. A little hoppy for 9:00am, though.

Posted by: Oliver Willis's Shoe Shine Boy at May 21, 2011 02:56 PM (lT0LC)

112 If it's Ebony and Ivory, you are a complete fuckin homo, Racefan.

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 02:57 PM (afUO8)

113 Good, Jane, you're here.

I need advice

About an hour ago I put a big pot of meatballs and sauce on the stove to simmer. I covered it as I have a weird thing about never leaving my food out in the open.

At about the same time, I heard a fly buzzing in the window, but couldn't get to him because he was too high.

I go back to check on the sauce and see that the fly is no longer there.

Do I throw out the sauce or not?

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 02:57 PM (piMMO)

114 Just had a disappointing dinner. so i'm debating wine, beer, whiskey, or B&B

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 02:57 PM (OluE0)

115 110 i have two porch kittehs...... ones white, ones black can you guess their names?

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 06:56 PM (gUsHQ)

Umm. Stanley Ann and Barack, Sr.?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:58 PM (UOM48)

116
Young Michael Jackson and Old Michael Jackson?

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 02:58 PM (AvO0L)

117 113 Good, Jane, you're here.

I need advice

About an hour ago I put a big pot of meatballs and sauce on the stove to simmer. I covered it as I have a weird thing about never leaving my food out in the open.

At about the same time, I heard a fly buzzing in the window, but couldn't get to him because he was too high.

I go back to check on the sauce and see that the fly is no longer there.

Do I throw out the sauce or not?

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 06:57 PM (piMMO)

Throw out the sauce and put the pot in the garbage. Just to be sure.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 02:59 PM (UOM48)

118

so i'm debating wine, beer, whiskey, or B&B

Or E: All of the above

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 21, 2011 02:59 PM (dWPyO)

119 Amos and Andy?

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 02:59 PM (OluE0)

120 nope Whittie and Blackie.......

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 02:59 PM (gUsHQ)

121 Do I throw out the sauce or not? Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 06:57 PM (piMMO) ?! I'm sure the fly only ate a couple of milligrams.

Posted by: Oliver Willis's Shoe Shine Boy at May 21, 2011 02:59 PM (lT0LC)

122 salt and pepper, but that's too obvious

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 03:00 PM (piMMO)

123

I had a sheep dog once. His name was.....

Harry. Took me a long time to come up with that.

Posted by: Ronster at May 21, 2011 03:00 PM (NUo+O)

124 Jane, you totally rock. Thanks for the hearty guffaw.

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 03:00 PM (afUO8)

125
Do I throw out the sauce or not?

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 06:57 PM (piMMO)

The fly can only eat very little, so stir the pot. He's well done and will tell no one.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 21, 2011 03:00 PM (cwFVA)

126
Racist and Oppresed Cat?

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 03:01 PM (2O5Hd)

127 They still have horse racing? Who knew?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:01 PM (1fanL)

128 Rut-Roh, morons. Fox is reporting a volcano is erupting in Iceland triggering earthquakes.

Didn't that preacher say that would happen after the rapture? Where is everyone?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 03:01 PM (UOM48)

129 ?! I'm sure the fly only ate a couple of milligrams.

It's not the milligrams that the fly might have eaten with which I am concerned. It is the milligrams of fly that I might eat.

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 03:01 PM (piMMO)

130 Why would you throw out the pot because a fly *may* have come through the window? Worse case scenario, toss the sauce and clean the pot.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 03:02 PM (fqBLE)

131

Or E: All of the above

Posted by: Delta Smelt

THAT is why I like this place. Such quality advice from knowledgeable moron and moronettes.

And the occasional pic of the 'ettes in stompy boots.

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:03 PM (OluE0)

132 The fly can only eat very little, so stir the pot. He's well done and will tell no one.

Eeeeewwww!

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 03:03 PM (piMMO)

133
look for the damn fly

if you can't find it, it's not in the sauce

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 03:03 PM (AvO0L)

134 Throw a few raisins in the sauce and well ya will not know the difference

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2011 03:04 PM (7wmOW)

135

It's just a bit of protein. And the cooking probably sterilized all the germs it was carrying.

It's the apocalypse, we're supposed to be eating flies now.

Posted by: ParanoidWorkingGirlinSeattle at May 21, 2011 03:05 PM (RZ8pf)

136 See?! There's a reason I asked JANE!

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 03:05 PM (piMMO)

137 Clueless, you're a moron, this should not be a problem. It's one little fly, even if you eat it, you will never know. Or is that the part that bothers you? Personally, I exist mostly on take-out and this is never an issue. Because there are no flies? No, because I don't have personal knowledge of any flies. That's what you pay extra for.

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 03:05 PM (afUO8)

138

Diner: What's that fly doing in my sauce?

Waiter: The back stroke.

Damn, I'm funny.

Posted by: Ronster at May 21, 2011 03:05 PM (NUo+O)

139 I'm sure the additional protein won't hurt clueless. and it's not like the heat wont kill anything on the fly. so it's ALL good.

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:06 PM (OluE0)

140 It is the milligrams of fly that I might eat. Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 07:01 PM (piMMO) Goodness. Never ever work on a farm. You will never again be able to eat anything that has any grain or dairy product in it at all.

Posted by: Oliver Willis's Shoe Shine Boy at May 21, 2011 03:07 PM (lT0LC)

141 So Soothsayer is in da house, but where in the world is Seethsewer?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 21, 2011 03:07 PM (dWPyO)

142
if it's any consolation, we all make contact with trace amounts of feces every day...some of it is ingested.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 03:07 PM (2O5Hd)

143 I despise flies. When I was little one flew in my mouth at a picnic and I swallowed it. I still gag like crazy just thinking about it. Like right now.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 03:07 PM (UOM48)

144 We keep this up, and clueless may not eat or drink anything ever again.

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:08 PM (OluE0)

145 Hey, you guys remember that interview where the Precedent snatched that fly right of out thin air? And then ate it?

Okay, I might be making that last part up. But it was the only cool thing I ever saw that useless prick do.

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 03:08 PM (afUO8)

146 I would have had the winner but I'm not here.

Posted by: raptured soulless body of Guy Fawkes at May 21, 2011 03:09 PM (IXLvN)

147 motorcycle riders eat bugs all the time, so it's cool

Posted by: shovelhead at May 21, 2011 03:09 PM (3OCZw)

148

Hey, you guys remember that interview where the Precedent snatched that fly right of out thin air?

Like fuckin Mr. Miyagi.

Actually Daniel Son, but still.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 21, 2011 03:10 PM (dWPyO)

149 We keep this up, and clueless may not eat or drink anything ever again.

Yes I will.

I'm going to pour a scotch right now!

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 03:10 PM (piMMO)

150 Flys and shit in a sause? Call me jaded, but maybe it's time for a new thread?

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2011 03:10 PM (7wmOW)

151

Dogs: Bruce, Titan, Dafuskie, Isabel, Cats: Calvin, Hobbes, Baloo, Mable

Horse: Jack Jack, Valor, Dreamer, Archer, Atlas

tha's..tha's about it.

Posted by: bong smoking pseudo christian at May 21, 2011 03:11 PM (du4U/)

152

Good Golly Miss Molly!

_{(Our prissy cat and Hell NO not namin the Fish Fred)}

Posted by: SomeWhereSouthWest at May 21, 2011 03:11 PM (CyPWX)

153 ohhh me too clueless.
actually I'll have one to wash down a crappy supper

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:11 PM (OluE0)

154 stupid hippie sock

Posted by: hobbes at May 21, 2011 03:12 PM (du4U/)

155 Remember that chain email around a decade ago you'd get every other week that would talk about how many flies/bugs you swallow in your sleep a year? Same email discussed how many door handles you'd touch or hands you'd shake where the person had just come from the restroom (without washing their hands) or when they had just had the sex with themselves.

Ew.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 03:13 PM (fqBLE)

156 Woohoo! $114.80 on a $12 bet.

Posted by: Deety at May 21, 2011 03:13 PM (YTFjM)

157 When I was little one flew in my mouth at a picnic and I swallowed it.

My mother made sammiches for everybody and when my very fastidious brother picked one up he decided to inspect it before taking a bite. Lifted up the slice of bread and, sure enough, there lay a dead fly. He hasn't really trusted her since.

Posted by: Retread at May 21, 2011 03:13 PM (G+7cD)

158 Did the fly sound like Jeff Goldblum? If so, you might have syphilis.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 21, 2011 03:13 PM (y/+eD)

159 156 Woohoo! $114.80 on a $12 bet.

Posted by: Deety at May 21, 2011 07:13 PM (YTFjM)

Shweet!

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 03:14 PM (afUO8)

160 My three year old stud is on the track now. His father and Barbaro are brothers. We have high hopes for him but just one problem. He's too big down there and it hurts when he runs so he has to be gelded. It stinks!

Posted by: Lopinslow at May 21, 2011 03:15 PM (xHBqs)

161 When I was little one flew in my mouth at a picnic and I swallowed it.

Pfft. I was camping when a wasp snuck into my mouth on a piece of bread and stung my tongue. Swelled up like a mf and scared my dad so bad he went zooming down the side of the road like a maniac because of all the traffic. There in the Smokey Mtns.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:16 PM (1fanL)

162

Anybody got an update on Michael Baze found dead at the racetrack in a car?

Posted by: SomeWhereSouthWest at May 21, 2011 03:16 PM (CyPWX)

163 The race wasn't that fast really. The first quarter mile was fast, but the pace slowed as the race went on. Six furlongs in 1:12 isn't spectacular. Shackleford was running on fumes those last few strides.

Posted by: Twba at May 21, 2011 03:16 PM (5kMdn)

164
he runs with a hard on?

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 03:17 PM (2O5Hd)

165

He's too big down there and it hurts when he runs so he has to be gelded. It stinks!

Get you're horse jock staps here. Half price.

Posted by: Jock Straps R Us at May 21, 2011 03:17 PM (NUo+O)

166 Remember that chain email around a decade ago you'd get every other week that would talk about how many flies/bugs you swallow in your sleep a year? Same email discussed how many door handles you'd touch or hands you'd shake where the person had just come from the restroom (without washing their hands) or when they had just had the sex with themselves.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 07:13 PM (fqBLE)

Sounds like the email about how if we all just boycott the BIG OIL companies for a day, then...that'd show 'em!!!11!!1!

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:17 PM (1fanL)

167 i have two porch kittehs...... ones white, ones black can you guess their names?

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 06:56 PM (gUsHQ)

Fuck you Bush and Go Gettem Junior?

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 03:17 PM (penCf)

168

I despise flies. When I was little one flew in my mouth at a picnic and I swallowed it. I still gag like crazy just thinking about it. Like right now.

I think I swallowed a fly...

What do I do!?

Posted by: Geroge Costanza at May 21, 2011 03:17 PM (F8nqd)

169 We were living on an Air Force base in Ran-fucking-toul, Illinois, and had a neighbor who loved to bake and would bring us the occasional pie. My mom was visiting her one day and the woman was rolling out her pie crust...on the kitchen counter...next to her chihuahua lying on the counter....we never ate her pies again. My mother would sweetly thank her, and head straight for the garbage can.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2011 03:18 PM (UOM48)

170 "He's too big down there and it hurts when he runs so he has to be gelded." You know who else had that problem? Jeff Goldblum.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 21, 2011 03:18 PM (y/+eD)

171 Sounds like the email about how if we all just boycott the BIG OIL companies for a day, then...that'd show 'em!!!11!!1!

And the one about avoiding Exxon gas stations.

Fools.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 21, 2011 03:19 PM (c0A3e)

172 i have two porch kittehs...... ones white, ones black can you guess their names?

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 06:56 PM (gUsHQ)

Charlene and Orchpay Onkeymay.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:19 PM (1fanL)

173
shouldn't speak ill of the dead

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 03:19 PM (AvO0L)

174 So, who is winning the All Star Race?

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 03:19 PM (penCf)

175 161 When I was little one flew in my mouth at a picnic and I swallowed it.

Pfft. I was camping when a wasp snuck into my mouth on a piece of bread and stung my tongue. Swelled up like a mf and scared my dad so bad he went zooming down the side of the road like a maniac because of all the traffic. There in the Smokey Mtns.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 07:16 PM (1fanL)

I got stung on the tongue by a bee while eating an Oreo. For real. So take that!

Posted by: Jane D'oh, will one-up your ass at May 21, 2011 03:20 PM (UOM48)

176

So, who is winning the All Star Race?

Jimmie Johnson

Posted by: Jock Straps R Us at May 21, 2011 03:21 PM (NUo+O)

177

Fuck you Bush and Go Gettem Junior?

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 07:17 PM (penCf)

easy now. i am a Jr. fan to.

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 03:21 PM (gUsHQ)

178 Baze's death is being treated as normal. no foul play suspected.

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:21 PM (OluE0)

179 He's too big down there and it hurts when he runs so he has to be gelded. It stinks! Sorry your day turned out so badly.

Posted by: no longer a stud at May 21, 2011 03:21 PM (4Kl5M)

180
Best race horse name evah!

Posted by: YIKES! at May 21, 2011 03:22 PM (NNf5U)

181

it hasent started yet

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 03:22 PM (gUsHQ)

182 Dude

While I was expecting an appearance from Mrs O this evening I was not expecting to have photos pop up from a visit by the President, the First Lady and Malia Obama to Sidwell Friends School - a lovely bonus!

Here we see Mrs Obama in the pink leopard print skirt first seen departing Hawaii in the New Year , this time teamed with what appears to be a purple scoop neck T-shirt and brilliant magenta cardigan. Perfectly demonstrating Mrs O's genius for mixing bright colours and punchy patterns to great effect.

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 03:22 PM (penCf)

183
They should bring back Battle of the Network Stars.
But this time make it the Battle of the Biggest Pieces of Celebrity Shit.

With Dominique Strauss Khan, Tiger Woods, Courtney Love, Sean Penn, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson, Kate Goslen, etc.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 03:23 PM (2O5Hd)

184 what channel is it on?

Posted by: Zakn...Caniac at May 21, 2011 03:24 PM (zyaZ1)

185 182 Dude

Posted by: Jane D'oh, will one-up your ass at May 21, 2011 03:24 PM (UOM48)

186

Jimmie Johnson

Posted by: Jock Straps R Us

Really? JJ? so freaking tired of him. give me a character.

and can you believe Kimi Raikkonen is moving to nascar?

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:25 PM (OluE0)

187 Best race horse name evah!

OMG, that was hilarious!

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 03:25 PM (afUO8)

188
OJ Simpson, John Ensign,

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 03:25 PM (AvO0L)

189

easy now. i am a Jr. fan to.

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 07:21 PM (gUsHQ)

I know. I figured the only 2 things you yell during a race are:

1. Fuck you Busch (I spelled it wrong up above, sorry)

2. Go gettem Jr!

it hasent started yet

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 07:22 PM (gUsHQ)

I meant going to win (as in predictions). I wanted Bayne, but he isn't in it.

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 03:25 PM (penCf)

190

I got stung on the tongue by a bee while eating an Oreo. For real. So take that!

Posted by: Jane D'oh, will one-up your ass at May 21, 2011 07:20 PM (UOM4

*pats head* That's nice, hon, but was it in the middle of the wilderness? Did you have to go to the hospital and get a shot? Even if you did, you still got to eat an Oreo, and all I had was bread.

The most you can hope for is one-same-ing my ass.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:25 PM (1fanL)

191 looks like its only on the Speed Channel here.

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 03:26 PM (gUsHQ)

192 >>87
I tend to judge pet owners by the names of their cats and dogs.

Posted by: leftover soothsayers at May 21, 2011 06:49 PM (2O5Hd)

I am NOT gonna defend XbradTC and his Vivid Imagination here...

And when I finally sell him to the Gypsies, Sox is gettin' a Name Change.

Posted by: Sox at May 21, 2011 03:27 PM (IR0R1)

193 Oh that sucks. I don't get Speed in HD.

Posted by: Zakn...Caniac at May 21, 2011 03:27 PM (zyaZ1)

194 pink leopard print skirt first seen departing Hawaii in the New Year , this time teamed with what appears to be a purple scoop neck T-shirt and brilliant magenta cardigan.

Either her child dressed her, or it's her streetwalking outfit.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:27 PM (1fanL)

195 momma@182

One of the brilliant commenters at that site:

I like the look of this skirt paired with this colored cardi and tank. These colors really picks up the different colors in the skirt. This is a nice family photo.
Is it just me, or does this photo seem a little like 'TMZ papparrazzi in the bushes' kind of picture? Hmmm, oh well. It is legit.

Posh, this skirt is by Gregory Parkinson. You are doing a FANTABULOUS job, my dear!

Posted by: Jane D'oh, will one-up your ass at May 21, 2011 03:27 PM (UOM48)

196

Really? JJ? so freaking tired of him. give me a character.

OK. I'll root for Harvick.

Kimi was in the truck race last night and he might drive a few races in Nationwide.

Posted by: Jock Straps R Us at May 21, 2011 03:27 PM (NUo+O)

197 The NASCAR is on SPEED. Sorry trailer-park morons with rabbit-ear TV.

Posted by: Whatever at May 21, 2011 03:28 PM (hF6Nm)

198 Nope. No scotch. I forgot that I had tossed it a while back.

So, Daily's pomegranate margarita or a Bailey's? Hmmm.

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 03:28 PM (piMMO)

199 I've only had one drink (less actually) and I cannot follow what teh eff is being discuss on this thread right now!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 03:28 PM (fqBLE)

200 Who farted in the winner's circle?

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 03:28 PM (penCf)

201 "They should bring back Battle of the Network Stars." I'm still waiting for them to bring back those made-for-tv movies starring actors from various sitcoms. Like High School USA and Dance Til Dawn and that Driver's Ed one where Alyssa Milano & Tempest Bledsoe wear matching acid-wash.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 21, 2011 03:28 PM (y/+eD)

202

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 07:25 PM (penCf)

yes, i do say fuck Bush alot...........

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 03:28 PM (gUsHQ)

203 Oooh. Fresh Tears. An Amendment defining Marriage defined as you know, Marriage is on the MN House floor.

I can taste them from here.

Posted by: Zakn...Caniac at May 21, 2011 03:29 PM (zyaZ1)

204 pink leopard print skirt first seen departing Hawaii in the New Year , this time teamed with what appears to be a purple scoop neck T-shirt and brilliant magenta cardigan.

Good Gawd Awmighty. Click on the link that shows that skirt on the first go-round. And pass the eye bleach, please.

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 03:29 PM (afUO8)

205 I like the outfit.

Shoot me.

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 03:29 PM (piMMO)

206

what teh eff is being discuss on this thread right now!

Neither can I. I'm lost. Better see if another drink helps.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 21, 2011 03:29 PM (dWPyO)

207 Yeah no reason to think that particular fly was seen with some friends lounging and living large spending the entire afternoon in a steaming pile of doo doo. Havin a good ol time at the crap pile spa kickin back and washing it all down with some cat piss swill. Think Ren and Stimpy for a close up.
OK now I am sorry for killing your sauce.

Posted by: Gordon Fuck You Ramsay at May 21, 2011 03:30 PM (3OCZw)

208 Better see if another drink helps.

Sure. I'm taking no ice with mine. Thanks in advance.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 03:31 PM (fqBLE)

209 No-fly zone around Iceland again....volcano.

Steak is done. Later.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, will one-up your ass at May 21, 2011 03:31 PM (UOM48)

210 No-fly zone around Iceland again.

At least their sauce will be safe . . .

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 03:32 PM (afUO8)

211 OK. I'll root for Harvick.

Him I like, he's a little obnoxious.

And I like Kimi, he was a hell of a driver. But is it seeming like nascar is turning into a retirement circuit. I'm just waiting for Schumacker to make the jump. lol

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:33 PM (OluE0)

212

Snowball & EightBall?

Posted by: SomeWhereSouthWest at May 21, 2011 03:33 PM (CyPWX)

213 Dude. I want 10 fucking cases of this shit!

For reals.

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 03:33 PM (penCf)

214 The outfit is unforgettable. Because it's burned into my retinas.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:34 PM (1fanL)

215 nice Peaches, and enjoy Jane. should of had steak tonight.

Lacy, i'm' going ice and mixer free tonight. care to join me?

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:34 PM (OluE0)

216 Heaven Can Wait

Posted by: Cherry π at May 21, 2011 03:34 PM (+sBB4)

217 I like the outfit.

Shoot me.
Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 07:29 PM

Smaller boob belt looks better.

Posted by: huerfano at May 21, 2011 03:35 PM (IN2A4)

218 todler, open wheel drivers usually don't do so good in NASCAR. They are used to lighter cars with all kinds of grip.

Posted by: Jock Straps R Us at May 21, 2011 03:35 PM (NUo+O)

219 Put me down for 15 cases.
Check's in the mail as I type.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 21, 2011 03:36 PM (NNf5U)

220 Oh I know Jock, just seems like a bunch of them have made the jump, and I'd wager Michael would dominate.

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:36 PM (OluE0)

221 ""Here we see Mrs Obama in the pink leopard print skirt first seen departing Hawaii in the New Year , this time teamed with what appears to be a purple scoop neck T-shirt and brilliant magenta cardigan. Perfectly demonstrating Mrs O's genius for mixing bright colours and punchy patterns to great effect""

...or perfectly demonstrating her ability to chase down Miss Cleo 10 blocks and roll her for her clothes.

Posted by: Berserker at May 21, 2011 03:36 PM (FMbng)

222 Haut Mama!!! Thx for the good work Posh!

I sometimes believe seven ridiculous things before breakfast.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:37 PM (1fanL)

223

Well I like the purple sweater. But that skirt is kind of scary. Less so in her new ensemble than the first time around with her tight white t-shirt and saggy boobs though.

Look, if you are going to wear a tight white t-shirt, wear a bra that lifts the ladies up and gives them good support. This isn't a National Geographic photo spread.

oops, I denounce myself of course.

Posted by: ParanoidWorkingGirlinSeattle at May 21, 2011 03:37 PM (RZ8pf)

224 OT: The Arab Spring

Posted by: Cherry π at May 21, 2011 03:38 PM (+sBB4)

225 How come nobody ever compliments her on her attempts to hide her hippo hips? Because FAIL?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:38 PM (1fanL)

226 pink leopard print skirt first seen departing Hawaii

Blissfully ignorant of any fashion errors. It's true what they say about us backcountry rednecks going to the dollar store when we don't feel like getting all dressed up for Wal-Mart.

Posted by: Bob Saget with a can of cheezwiz at May 21, 2011 03:38 PM (NLWij)

227 you know whats weird....... one day she has no hair, the next day long hair......... i hate that shit, she needs to make up her mind what its going tobe.

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 03:38 PM (gUsHQ)

228

Well I'm off to watch the race to get in the race. Junior will have to win or get voted in.

Also need to dump the jock strap.

Posted by: Ronster at May 21, 2011 03:39 PM (NUo+O)

229 FUBAR, you're assuming she's TRYING to hide them. Looks like she's mocking them with belts that tend to draw your eyes there.

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 03:39 PM (OluE0)

230 I'm sure she labors under the delusion that the booby belts draw attention away from the aforementioned hippo hips. And, yeah, another epic fail.

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 03:41 PM (afUO8)

231 i'm' going ice and mixer free tonight

oh I need the carbonation & caffeine. otherwise I'd be passed out by 9pm.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 21, 2011 03:42 PM (fqBLE)

232 Lovely and gracious in red. You can almost hear her burbling "America is mean!"

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 03:42 PM (1fanL)

233

The "Thank a teacher today" car just crashed out of the NASCAR race.

I like this.

Posted by: Scott Walker at May 21, 2011 03:43 PM (hF6Nm)

234 Peaches, did you have to mention "labors" in a sentence referencing hippo hips?

Posted by: Ronster at May 21, 2011 03:43 PM (NUo+O)

235 How come nobody ever compliments her on her attempts to hide her hippo hips? Because FAIL?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 21, 2011 07:38 PM (1fanL)

There's a lot of square footage there and I don't know much about fabric stores but I'm guessing that's a special order.

Posted by: ErikW at May 21, 2011 03:43 PM (/VmpX)

236

Posted by: ErikW at May 21, 2011 07:43 PM (/VmpX)

they order it by the roll instead of yard.

Posted by: Racefan at May 21, 2011 03:49 PM (gUsHQ)

237 Fuck.Still here.

Posted by: steevy at May 21, 2011 03:50 PM (LmMPn)

238 Since the world didn't end I put the Advantage on my cat.He does not like that.

Posted by: steevy at May 21, 2011 03:51 PM (LmMPn)

239 237 Fuck.Still here.

Yeah. Using this whole "wait everything out until May 21st, 2011" as the ultimate retirement plan isn't panning out very well.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 21, 2011 03:52 PM (c0A3e)

240

The "Thank a teacher today" car just crashed out of the NASCAR race.

This goes under "irony" in the dictionary, right?

Posted by: ParanoidWorkingGirlinSeattle at May 21, 2011 03:53 PM (RZ8pf)

241 142 if it's any consolation, we all make contact with trace amounts of feces every day...some of it is ingested.
___________

If you are what you eat, then you were what you excrete.

Posted by: Anachronda at May 21, 2011 03:57 PM (6fER6)

242 The back of the Baileys bottle says to place 3 ice cubes in a rock glass and add Baileys. But, if I'm drinking it out of a Big Gulp cup, I'm allowed to add more ice, right?

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 04:00 PM (piMMO)

243
Why would you defile Baileys with water?

Posted by: irongrampa at May 21, 2011 04:02 PM (ud5dN)

244 The back of the Baileys bottle says to place 3 ice cubes in a rock glass and add Baileys. But, if I'm drinking it out of a Big Gulp cup, I'm allowed to add more ice, right?
Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 08:00 PM

I cannot find a flaw in your logic.

Posted by: huerfano at May 21, 2011 04:03 PM (IN2A4)

245 This goes under "irony" in the dictionary, right? Posted by: ParanoidWorkingGirlinSeattle at May 21, 2011 07:53 PM (RZ8pf) If you went to public school . . .

Posted by: Oliver Willis's Shoe Shine Boy at May 21, 2011 04:04 PM (lT0LC)

246 @ #213

No one but YIKES! thought Chocolate Bar-acks was funny? Seriously? I'm still laughing.

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 04:06 PM (penCf)

247 8:00 at night and it's still 90 deg.

That's my punishment for picking on someone else last weekend.

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 04:06 PM (piMMO)

248 Ugh, that Bailey's discussion reminds me of an ex-roomie (Army) who always used to drink Dr. Pepper and cheap vodka out of huge (40 oz., I checked) plastic cups. The one time I indulged, it tasted like drinking Brasso out of an inflatable raft (I think the Russian vodka reacted badly with the Taiwanese plastic).

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 21, 2011 04:08 PM (Z05lF)

249 Has Obama given an interview to an American media outlet (or answered questions) since his fuck Israel speech? Because he has to BBC.

Posted by: momma at May 21, 2011 04:09 PM (penCf)

250 ""There's a lot of square footage there and I don't know much about fabric stores but I'm guessing that's a special order.""

reminds me of that john candy movie where they sent the old scotish dude out for a sail for the boat. I think his exact words in his thick scotish accent were " I need a grand sally, fifty feet high she be".

Posted by: Berserker at May 21, 2011 04:09 PM (FMbng)

251 Because he has to BBC.

Very white of him.

I denounce myself, again, and repeatedly.

Posted by: Peaches at May 21, 2011 04:12 PM (afUO8)

252 I just got back from walking my puppy Gonzo the Ridiculous where we had run into a neighbor who said we have a new family moving into the trailer park neighborhood by the name of Thorsen.....or Thorensen...something like that

Fuck...There goes the neighborhood. As if property values weren't low enough these days

Posted by: beedubya at May 21, 2011 04:13 PM (AnTyA)

253 I denounce myself, again, and repeatedly.

Yes. You are a moron.

Posted by: Clueless at May 21, 2011 04:13 PM (piMMO)

254 well the big angry clouds are now delivering their rain here in St. Joe land

Posted by: chemjeff at May 21, 2011 04:15 PM (7mSYS)

255 Maybe the fabric store is the problem. She should be shopping at the "Washington Tent & Awning"

It;s the only place to get enough fabric

Posted by: todler at May 21, 2011 04:20 PM (OluE0)

256 Hey Todler! Your Double-Double monster-style is getting cold in the other thead.

Posted by: In-N-Out delivery at May 21, 2011 04:32 PM (yoMRe)

257

Prediction: The fastest horse will win.

I'll put my money behind this prediction! And celebrate with some In-N-Out Burger action! What's up Todler?

Posted by: NC Ref at May 21, 2011 04:44 PM (/izg2)

258 These horse races realy get the wacktards from PETA upset their always making so stupid fuss about it

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at May 21, 2011 05:29 PM (vA9ld)

259 The fastest horse won't necessarily win. The horse that reaches the finish line first definitely will.

Posted by: Travis at May 21, 2011 05:41 PM (9WkMB)

260 My beagle is named Kipper, 'cause I live in a small norskie fishing town and we eat kippered herring for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. Other beagles include sadie, daisy, red, and midget. ixnay on " harry barker, and ally mcbeagle'.

Posted by: yakima canutt at May 21, 2011 06:32 PM (plmW1)

261 259 These horse races realy get the wacktards from PETA upset their always making so stupid fuss about it.

Sorry, I'm a horse lover and, yes, this is a spectacular sport - until a fine young animal falls and is destroyed. I've seen it at a track on two occasions. These animals are raised hard to compete when they are less than 2 years old. Think of a 12 year old person pushed, drugged, trained into oblivion. Only a very few will make it through a racing lifetime unbroken. Most will wind up in France or Japan as a blue-light dinner special. PETA may have its faults, but on horse racing, they are strong on point.

Will we every see another Secretariat? Probably not. Horse racing is corrupt, with the most drug and hormone injected horse winning a big stakes race and then breaking down.

Just look at them at the track. Finely tuned animals - so fine that they are like glass.

Posted by: Russkilitlover at May 21, 2011 08:19 PM (DNTWz)

262 Prediction: The fastest horse will win.

My Prediction; The horse that crosses the finish line first will win.

But I don't really give a shit!

Posted by: I'm the Honey Badger, BITCH! at May 22, 2011 06:13 AM (fJhBR)

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