1 Oh man, I can't wait for like-minded, shapely, top-heavy women to start getting into the superhero act like this guy.  I'm thinking maybe the Power Girl suit would be a great place to start.

2

Look to the West!,

Little Wooden Boy.

3 Once more, with feeling: Vigilantism is a Very Bad Idea.  No matter how awesome it sounds.

It took decades for the Guardian Angels to be seen as legitimate- and that was a very rigorous and disciplined PR campaign.  Anyone who's read the Graphic Novel of Kick-Ass knows how this really ends.

Which is not to say it is anything less than gallant what this guy purports to be doing- it's just stupid.

4 Lets see,

Power Girl
White Queen
Wonder Woman
Psylocke

for Superheroines.

And for Super Villainesses:

Poison Ivy
Harley Quinn
Molotov Cocktease

5 I'd love it if the guy was for real, I just wish he'd set his sights a bit higher than street crime. We have real-life supervillains (Soros, Assange) who do as much damage to our country as any foreign Gov't., why not have real superheroes to go after them?

6

How come there are so few openly Gay Superheroes serving our communities?

Lots of 'Super Men' and 'Wonder Women' out there....

but where's the  'Penis Girl' or 'Vagina Boy'?

What do our Trans-Curious children have to look up to?  To emulate?

7

Spork!

8 You just know the Joker is going to have a field day with these buffoons.

9 They'd impress me more if they organized a neighborhood watch and walked around every night with a flashlight and a radio. Less flashy, but probably more effective.

10 Hey, I know a real life superhero.

The Defuser

His day job is as a detective for the Austin PD.

11 Damn, comment #7 and I don't even get the first Tick ref.

12 Molotov Cocktease
Posted by: EC at January 04, 2011 01:47 PM (mAhn3)


But she's dead, isn't she?

13

Ace, if you were familiar with Seattle's Capital Hill you would find that the residents there need very little reason to uhmm dress up.

14 But she's dead, isn't she?

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at January 04, 2011 01:51 PM (QV82F)

Is she?  I don't care.  Just the thought of some fit, athletic woman, running around in her costume is enough to make me want to explore my dark side.

15 Poor thing is delusional.  I doubt 'twill end well.

16 You want to put fear into the criminals hearts. Get a group of furries to patrol the streets.

17

You know those times when ace disappears for hours or days at a time?  And he comes back with some lame excuse like "I was moving" or "I was burned out" or "I was drinking with MaryKatharine Ham in a New York bar trying to get a little something' somethin'"?

Well, I'll never believe that he wasn't actually out trying to fight crime in his very own home made superhero costume.

Except for the MaryKatharine Ham part.  I could see him trying to hit on her.

18 It's a good thing that "Phoenix Jones" patrols in Seattle because he wouldn't last five minutes in New York.

19

Except for the MaryKatharine Ham part.  I could see him trying to follow her home and make sweet love to her trash hit on her.

 

 

20 Ace's superhero name?  Buster Hymen.

Allah's?  Band Camp

21 19It's a good thing that "Phoenix Jones" patrols in Seattle because he wouldn't last five minutes in New York.   That's right!  NYC has kick ass gangs like us!!!

22 I'm a superhero.  Sort of.

23 Don't forget me.

24 i'm already a superhero well, sort of, you know how DC is

25 Me too.  Kinda.

26 And us!  Roller skates are scarrrry.... BOO!!!

27 My daughter - in a weird coincidence - announced she wants to be Hit Girl for Halloween this morning. Yeah, we let our 7-year-old watch Kick-Ass. And her little brother too - but he says he doesn't want to be "Ass-Kick"

28 Posted by: The Baseball Furies!!! at January 04, 2011 01:59 PM (QLhy5)

WRT a previous post, I read that as Baseball Furries.

Now THAT would be funny.

29 Superheroes have civil rights too

30

Here is how a real life hero thwarts a robbery.

31 Writing Lesson for Morons.

32

This guy is going to get the unholy hell beat out of him someday. You don't patrol rough neighborhoods with catcher pads and 2 night a week tae kwon do lessons, that's an excellent recipe for an ass-kicking. Don't forget, Batman had years of training and, oh yeah, HE'S NOT FUCKING REAL.

I lived in Seattle briefly, and  I'm pretty sure this guy might be mistaken for something other than a masked avenger in Capitol Hill.

33

I figure that true "Superheroes" need a few things: an origin, a name, a theme and at least one special ability/weapon.

Hmmm, who would I want to be...?

34 Dude needs an action figure.

35 Where's Chakra Release Girl?

36 That's right! NYC has kick ass gangs like us!!! Posted by: The Baseball Furies!!! at January 04, 2011 01:59 PM (QLhy5) Go ahead and laugh, but I'd get a real laugh out of this guy on Bat Day at Yankee Stadium.

37 Where's Chakra Release Girl?

I'm looking for her, too.  She's not around the Jets massage room, that's for sure.

I'll give Al a call.

38 Hey, I've still got my uniform from the time John Kerry and I spelunked into that cave in Vietnam to plot the Cambodian invasion.  Does that count as a superhero costume?

39

WRT a previous post, I read that as Baseball Furries.

Now THAT would be funny.

Stop people in their tracks by shocking them, then BAM! with the bat.

Hmmm...

40

Posted by: ed at January 04, 2011 01:55 PM (QLhy5)

We know Ace is an ewok, I wonder what Allahpundit's superhero costume is.

41 I'm as real as any superhero.

42 Hey, I've still got my uniform from the time John Kerry and I spelunked into that cave

Posted by: Joe "Superhero" Biden at January 04, 2011 02:08 PM (UOM4

Gross, keep your spelunk out of this

43 Am I the only one who thinks this is really really sad?

44 I sense a new TLC show... "Real Life Superheroes"

45 I sense a new TLC show....

For the love of God, shhhhhhhhhh!!!! 

46

"Superheroes" need a few things: an origin, a name, a theme and at least one special ability/weapon.

 

Does a Burning Pork-Sword qualify?

47 Cuz I'm the DESIGNATED HITTER, mutha fucker.

48 Posted by: JB at January 04, 2011 02:10 PM (KKS7R)

Ummm... no?  See my comment, above.  This is stupid, and this guy and his buddies are going to get very, very hurt (and probably dead) if they ever run into anyone who is really tough- instead of some car thief who is already incredibly afraid he'll get caught.

That said, it's gallant, and it takes a mixture of guts and stupidity.

49 44 Am I the only one who thinks this is really really sad? Posted by: JB at January 04, 2011 02:10 PM (KKS7R) Yep. Sad sad sad. We're talking cry for help here.

50 All I can say is, you Seattle morons better be careful on your hobo hunts.

51 46 I sense a new TLC show....

For the love of God, shhhhhhhhhh!!!! 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 04, 2011 02:12 PM (UOM4

Too late.  SciFi (or SyFy as it is now) already did it.  Two seasons.

52 This one's a ginger: Phoenix Jones Y'all enjoy your men in funky tights, though.

53 Does a Burning Pork-Sword qualify? Posted by: Rafael Escamilla is 'El Fapo' at January 04, 2011 02:12 PM (51Lv9) I'd get some antibiotics for that. And for God's sake quit jumping Paris Hilton.

54

44 Am I the only one who thinks this is really really sad?

Dude, when life drops such an awesomely awesome story in your lap, saddness isn't the appropriate response.

I mean, if he actually stops a crime, hilarity ensues!

If he gets his ass kicked trying to stop a crime, hilarity ensues!

If he gets arrested while screaming "don't you know who I am?  I'm Phoenix Jones!  Wait till the commisioner hears about this!!", again, hilarity ensuses!

If he gets killed, well that would be a bummer.  Until we're all drunk on an ONT several months later, and someone brings up Phoenix Jones.  And again, hilarity ensuses!

It's kind of a win win.

Unless you're his father, and all you want is son who will give you some grand kids, not some fruit loop running arround in long underwear.  That's gotta be pretty depressing.

55 Jawa has some good new war porn up, today.

56

 Hey, I know a real life superhero.

The Defuser

His day job is as a detective for the Austin PD.

Hey mpur how ya doin'? 

I feel safer already BTW.

57 "...After a horrific fishing accident left him legless, Lincolntf began a new life as The Crippled Crab! Low to the ground and able to scurry sideways at superhuman speeds, C.C.  can clamber up the side of a skyscraper, chase down runaway cars, and put the claw on criminals from Kitty Hawk to Currituck..."

58

Can't wait for graphene suits.

And graphene grappling gun wire.  And graphene net guns.

59

And graphene "shigawire."

And graphene samurai swords.

60

Can't wait for graphene suits.

And graphene grappling gun wire.  And graphene net guns.

 

...and Graphene Condoms.

61

With graphene, you get serious superheroes.

62

44Am I the only one who thinks this is really really sad?

Besides, if you want to see sad, just wait until you see the look on Ace's dads faces when he comes home for Thanksgiving dinner and tells them that he didn't win the Best Conservative Blog award, again.

And then his mom says "don't worry son, you used to be funny..."

Yeah, that's sad.

63 Too late.  SciFi (or SyFy as it is now) already did it.  Two seasons.

Stan Lee's Who Wants to be a Superhero

Above mentioned friend won Season Two

64 Darwin is not mocked.

65

Graphene condoms will be teh awesome.  One-atom-thick for that natural feel.

66

Hey mpur how ya doin'? 

I feel safer already BTW.

Posted by: Roadking at January 04, 2011 02:18 PM (WwCYR)

Hiya RK

He's a good guy, really.

Hey, any more talk of a Houston meet up?

67

"...After a horrific fishing pudding accident left him legless,

Fixed it made it more believable.

68 Who needs a lightsaber when you can have a ten or twenty atom thick samurai sword that can cut through anything, never dulls, and is nearly invisible--totally invisible edge on.

69

--totally invisible edge on.

I'm more excited about 6x tippets that rate at 20+lbs. 

The Fish don't stand a chance.

70

>>Who needs a lightsaber when you can have a ten or twenty atom thick samurai sword that can cut through anything, never dulls, and is nearly invisible--totally invisible edge on.

"...After a horrific fishing  pudding GRAPHENE accident left him legless,

71

I'm more excited about 6x tippets that rate at 20+lbs. 

The Fish don't stand a chance

Good idea, but 6x would rate at closer to 20,000 tons.

72

Math whizes?  If it takes two tons to shove a pencil through a one-atom-thick sheet of graphene, what would it take to break a .005 thick graphene wire?  (Three million sheets would be 1mm wide.)

73 Crazy, yeah, but maybe good eccentric crazy?

A little Don Quixote style crazy the world needs more of.

My fav part of kickass.

" The three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches? And you wanna know what's wrong with me? Yeah, I'd rather die... so bring it on!"

74 Who is The Coon?

75

Yeah, MamaAJ, I was re-thinking that net gun.  That would cube someone faster than the laser in Resident Evil.

76 Is RichRod some superhero?

I just heard on the news that he's out on the street.

77   77 Is RichRod some superhero?

Not Wolverine, that's for sure.

78 Who needs a lightsaber when you can have a ten or twenty atom thick samurai sword that can cut through anything, never dulls, and is nearly invisible--totally invisible edge on.

That which is infinitely hard, and rigid, is invariably not tough* enough to be a sword. Which is why you don't see swords made out of crystal or ceramics.

*material property of being able to absorb energy through permanent deformation prior to fracture.

79  Crazy, yeah, but maybe good eccentric crazy?

Yeah.

More convincing than the Islamic "Algerian truly French" superhero batman knock-off saving France?

80 I have a glowing blue penis, can I be a superhero?

81

That which is infinitely hard, and rigid, is invariably not tough* enough to be a sword. Which is why you don't see swords made out of crystal or ceramics.

*material property of being able to absorb energy through permanent deformation prior to fracture.

Mike, I see the reverse problem.  I suspect the graphene is very bendy.  You could put a car on a pencil resting on a one-atom-thick sheet of graphene and not break the sheet.  So you'd have to add something to make it stiffer.

If you made it 1mm wide, that might do it, depending on how much the sheets can slide past one another.

It might be that it's better to string a graphene wire between two points, like a bow--or a narrow violin-type bow--and use that as a sword.

I love thinking about it.  So many cool things and other considerations.  Like, this shit would be extremely dangerous if you lost track of where it is.  At 1 atom thick, it would cut through anything with minimal pressure.  So if you inhaled it, sianara. 

You know how easy it is to tangle up handi-wrap?  If you're not careful, it folds back on itself, jumbles, and becomes impossible to flatten back out.  I bet the sheets of grphene would be like that--dying to turn themeleves into invisible cords at the slightest puff of air.

82 Ace, you said the costume doesn't look like it really has an armor vest. I disagree. The chest clearly looks like it has molded fake muscles on it, just like the Batman movie suits; I can totally believe that he has at least a Kevlar vest under that molded thing, and probably at least a small trauma plate over the heart. This guy is sort of crazy, but it's not a bad kind of crazy and I admire him. In other articles he has hinted that he is former military, or at least highly trained in martial arts, so he isn't as unqualified as Kick-Ass was in the movie. If I were him, I'd have some way to authenticate myself to the police. I'd make some sort of badge or something and only show it to the police. I'd worry about someone dressing up as a copy-cat and then committing crimes in front of witnesses. Also, I can't believe he let them film him going into a secret room in a comic shop. There are a finite number of comic shops and people can figure out where that was. On the other hand, he could have been lying when he said he always goes there; it could have been a ruse.

83 I have a glowing blue penis, can I be a superhero?

A little penicillin will help with that.

84 I was busy

85

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86 I bet when they start using large graphene sheets--if they do--they'll be bonded to objects already constructed of something like standard carbon fiber laminate.

87 I wonder if he has a catch phrase like, "SPOOON!!!"

88 I thought this had already been covered. http://tinyurl.com/36qm5zf

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