Ace of Spades HQ

May 11, 2011

Republicans Get Semi-Naked To Publicize an Important Cause: Their Chests
— Ace

On the cover of Men's Health, Republican Representative Aaron Shock poses semi-shirtless, showing off his abs, which isn't so much a sixpack as much as a case of forties.

This vulgar, tasteless display fills me with the overwhelming desire to curl up and nestle in the hollow of his pecs. Like a little squirrel who's found a wonderful new nest, where I'll always be safe and always be protected.

No but seriously, I never know what to make of this. Okay, I guess it tends to fight the stereotype the media has of Republicans. That's good.

On the other hand, it does so by validating the liberal media's criteria of valuation. Pretty is good.

Plus, I hate guys showing off their abs. It's vulgar. That's why I don't do it. In fact, I find it so vulgar I have taken great precautions to make sure I never cross this line, such as dilligently encasing my rippling abs in a protective slab of Modesty Fat.

I expect the Moronettes will disagree with my take on Shock.

On the other hand, there's Meghan McCain, who really, really, really wants you to know she's not that kind of Republican.

Like shock, she bares some skin for "a good cause," ego, but also with the back-up cause of public awareness. He poses to publicize a get fit campaign (I won't be joining that; if anything, I need to add layers to the Modesty Fat, because the abs are always threatening to ripple and sheen in a provocative manner), she poses to raise awareness of skin cancer.

Maybe I'm just a cranky old prude, but I'm really tired of PETA, and everyone else, deciding that nudity (or suggested nudity) is the hip new way to sell "issues" and "awareness."

And yet, as much as I would like to say "This shocks no one anymore, please, stop, you're just embarrassing yourselves, seriously," here we go again, with me biting hard and linking it.

In a Tweet, she clarifies she wasn't actually nude, but in a "juicy tube dress," whatever that is, but it really sounds like a sausage casing, so she shouldn't say that.

Glenn Beck gets very mean about it and repeatedly plays a vomiting sound effect when he mentions Meghan McCain.

Ehhhh... maybe it's a dumb chivalry thing but I don't like that.

You might, though.

I do note that Meghan McCain keeps finding a way to make a spectacle of herself. Her choice. But the media seems very praiseworthy of her attention-seeking.

But they savage, say, Bristol Palin for her various choices.

That's not Meghan McCain's fault and I'm sure if you asked her she'd say that's wrong.

But I think that is in the mix here, of general animus towards her (as shown by Beck). She gets a pass on this sort of thing, and we all know why. It's not like anyone bothers to hide it anymore.

Thanks to gg and a commenter calling him/herself "moron/ettes."

Shock? A teal belt with white pants.

Posted by: Ace at 11:18 AM | Comments (282)
Post contains 522 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Schock value.

Posted by: Aaron Schock at May 11, 2011 11:20 AM (FYCiJ)

2 "Juicy" is a brand name....and she shouldn't be in a tube dress from any maker.

Posted by: Tami at May 11, 2011 11:21 AM (gFSHO)

3 Oh and Aaron.....YUMMMMM!

Posted by: Tami at May 11, 2011 11:21 AM (gFSHO)

4 http://tinyurl.com/3fd8jez

OT, but it's after 3. Time for some "Funky Spock" (from the Rifftrax guys)

Posted by: The Robot Devil at May 11, 2011 11:21 AM (LdYLm)

5 DAY-UM!!

Posted by: Moronettes everywhere at May 11, 2011 11:22 AM (yvnG3)

6 I'd still pound her......strawberry shortcake style, baby.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 11:23 AM (UK9cE)

7 Man, I was just getting serious with the Toomey reading and you post this.

'Ettes before you get too excited about Mr. Schock, let me present to you this.

So, umm, yeah.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 11:24 AM (pLTLS)

8 I've been on a six-pack diet for years and my abs don't look like that. What gives?

Posted by: Bosk at May 11, 2011 11:24 AM (pUO5u)

9 "Juicy" is a brand name....and she shouldn't be in a tube dress from any maker.

Posted by: Tami at May 11, 2011 03:21 PM (gFSHO)

Maybe one of those tubes Condi was worried about.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:24 AM (1fanL)

10 Er...I've forgotten what I was going to say. Ahem.

Posted by: Fortunata at May 11, 2011 11:24 AM (90H1N)

11 Hey girls, I've got some real bad news about this guy.

Posted by: Liberace at May 11, 2011 11:24 AM (FYCiJ)

12 Come to Momma (watch the moat and the gators).

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:25 AM (UOM48)

13 So, umm, yeah.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 03:24 PM (pLTLS)

Oh damn.....well, fun while it lasted, which was like 3 1/2 minutes.

Posted by: Tami at May 11, 2011 11:25 AM (gFSHO)

14 and she shouldn't be in a tube dress from any maker.

It looked like 10lbs of sausage stuffed into a 5lb casing.

And now, I'll never be able to work again, having gouged my eyes out with a spork.

Posted by: camera man at Meggie Mac's shoot at May 11, 2011 11:26 AM (3Okgs)

15 The Moronettes needn't get themselves too lathered up. He likes morons, not moronettes.

Posted by: publius at May 11, 2011 11:26 AM (VVB18)

16 'Ettes before you get too excited about Mr. Schock, let me present to you this.

So, umm, yeah.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 03:24 PM (pLTLS)

I was made for this situation.

Posted by: Schadenboner at May 11, 2011 11:26 AM (1fanL)

17 Eww, he's legal. Pics of him when he was 12 plox.

Posted by: Charles Johnson at May 11, 2011 11:26 AM (FYwGn)

18 'Ettes before you get too excited about Mr. Schock, let me present to you this.

Thanks for the harshing of my...errr.....

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:26 AM (UOM48)

19 she shouldn't be in a tube dress from any maker.

Posted by: Tami

She wasn't. It was the insulation jacket from my hot water heater.....I do not want it back.

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 11, 2011 11:26 AM (326rv)

20 If you look at the liberal society, it revolves itself around sex. Just look at TV now days. I've got to tell my daughter, who's 6, that she can't watch Nickolodean shows anymore because they're all turning into horny teenagers (iCarly, Zack and Cody, etc.) and are all about kissing and dating and all that.

TV Commercials. 90% of the commercials on TV revolve around the topic that "product X.....It'll get ya laid.." It's pretty sad that the libs have so taken over everything that their agenda is 'WINNING' and we're all suffering because of it.

I've always thought that Brandy looked like that alien from Star Wars.....the red one with the eyes WAY out on each side of it's head......

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 11:27 AM (UK9cE)

21 @11 Yeah, we know. Sigh.

Posted by: Fortunata at May 11, 2011 11:27 AM (90H1N)

22 AOSHQ: Come for the epic movie reviews, stay for the ghey beefcake.

Posted by: Stirner at May 11, 2011 11:28 AM (nTjSs)

23 I was very disappointed in the Meggy Mac video, she never shows us all the way.

Posted by: Meghan McCain's fat puppies at May 11, 2011 11:28 AM (H8y9V)

24 Meggie Mac loves any excuse to shove her titties in folks' faces.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:28 AM (UOM48)

25 This is easily the gayest post since Andy's.

Posted by: MJ at May 11, 2011 11:29 AM (BKOsZ)

26 He looks like he raped a table for 2 at the local rib joint.

Posted by: mark c at May 11, 2011 11:29 AM (SBIko)

If any of you own anything he's wearing in that picture, including but not limited to -

That belt

That tablecloth shirt

Those white jeans.....

MAN CARD VIOLATION

Turn it over immediately. You'll get it back when you learn to dress yourself properly.

_{*I really don't expect any violations from this horde.}

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 11:29 AM (pLTLS)

28 I don't know about you, but I can't WAIT for Ken's take on this.......

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 11:29 AM (UK9cE)

29 Meggie Mac loves any excuse to shove her titties in folks' faces.

Those aren't titties. It's back fat pushed around to the front.

Posted by: camera man at Meggie Mac's shoot at May 11, 2011 11:30 AM (3Okgs)

30 You'll never guess who I'm voting for President!

Posted by: Excited Andi Sullivan at May 11, 2011 11:30 AM (1fanL)

31 I'll fess up: I'd pound Meggie Mac like Michael Moore on a pot roast.

Posted by: Johnny at May 11, 2011 11:30 AM (FYwGn)

32
Psst - it's Aaron Schock

Also, he is now the youngest Member of Congress and the first to be born in the 1980Â’s.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 11, 2011 11:30 AM (M8E6y)

#28

Ken is too busy pleasuring himself to a magazine cover that NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN PRINTED FIFTY YEARS AGO.

Posted by: Paper at May 11, 2011 11:30 AM (VoSja)

34 This is easily the gayest post since Andy's.

It's topics like this that simply reinforce the fact that Palin is unelectable.

Posted by: wiserbud at May 11, 2011 11:31 AM (3Okgs)

35 Actually, this picture doesn't bother me. It's very artistic, and aesthetic. And those abs are to die for!

Posted by: Ken at May 11, 2011 11:32 AM (1fanL)

36 Modesty Fat is Where Its At

Posted by: Rapper Iemnot Sure at May 11, 2011 11:32 AM (/FqjZ)

37 I don't even want to imagine what Bawney Fwank would do with that magazine.

Gag! I just did!

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:32 AM (UOM48)

38 Yeah He's likely gay. the outfit He is sporting is rather interesting, still ,He's really cute.

Posted by: willow at May 11, 2011 11:32 AM (h+qn8)

39 If you put a gun to my head and said which is worse - Mr. Schock's gayday apparel or Moo's BoobBelt^Â® collection, honest to heavens I don't think I could give an answer. It's that much of a toss-up.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 11:33 AM (pLTLS)

40 But ace didn't get all exorcised about Sean Duffy...did he? I guess as long as you have something on your chest it's all good.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 11, 2011 11:33 AM (H8y9V)

41 He must shave his chest. I hate that.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:33 AM (UOM48)

42 Does this mean he is a log cabin republican? (nttiawwt) seriously

Posted by: nine nuts at May 11, 2011 11:33 AM (uz3hs)

43 I'd still take one for the team and hate-bang Meghan McCain just for the chance to tell her and her father what I really think of them.

Posted by: Doc at May 11, 2011 11:33 AM (jGXQI)

44 Pretty impressive for Shock. It would be more impressive if they hadn't Shopped the shit out of that picture.

Posted by: Rocks at May 11, 2011 11:33 AM (Q1lie)

45 Something has been gnawing at me since yesterday: The alligator/moat statement.
Last week I wrote on this blog (in a pique because of frustration on not being able to find a job) about the illegal Mexican migration. One of the things I proposed was the silly alligator/moat solution. I believe what happened was that some staffer at the White House, whose job is to read the wing-ding blogs, happened upon it, pounced. Keep in mind that Ace of Spades is high in the ranks of right-wing blogs.

The reason this bothers me is because I keep asking myself where else did the JEF come up with such a hare-brained idea that this was some "Republican" conception?

If this is the case, I feel terrible. I hate the idea of giving any ammunition to the president and the rest of the libtards.

Posted by: Bean Blossom at May 11, 2011 11:34 AM (T1d4e)

46 If McCain had a better body she'd be flashing it everywhere. There is no modesty involved in her decision to be photographed from the shoulders up.

That being said: how many of us wouldn't have hit it in college?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at May 11, 2011 11:34 AM (LH6ir)

47 Schock is a member of the congressional P90X club.

"I thought it looked like some kind of Jane Fonda video," says Rep. Aaron Schock (R., Ill.), 29, a former recreational weightlifter, but "it kicked my butt."

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 11, 2011 11:34 AM (P+zzG)

48 How come this post doesn't have any mention of pork chops covered in Haagen Dazs?
Don't wanna bait Meggy Mouth over here with angry Media Matters hit jobs?

Posted by: Jimmuy at May 11, 2011 11:34 AM (+xJ/0)

49 He must shave his chest. I hate that.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 03:33 PM (UOM4

He's not doing it for you, hon.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:34 AM (1fanL)

50 27 If any of you own anything he's wearing in that picture, including but not limited to -
That belt
That tablecloth shirt
Those white jeans.....
MAN CARD VIOLATION
Turn it over immediately. You'll get it back when you learn to dress yourself properly._{*I really don't expect any violations from this horde.}Nope! I'm good!

Posted by: Guy Lying Naked Behind a 7-11 Covered in His Own Vomit at May 11, 2011 11:34 AM (FYCiJ)

51 The thing is, those abs aren't natural, you have to spend a LOT of time in the gym to get that look.

And to be fair, the HillBuzz guys think everybody is gay.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 11, 2011 11:35 AM (T0NGe)

52 OK. asked and answered. I just clicked on the link and the link's link

Posted by: nine nuts at May 11, 2011 11:35 AM (uz3hs)

53 Well, we might as well use it to our advantage. Schock should be sent to every major urban area to win a few gay votes in election years.

Posted by: Paper at May 11, 2011 11:35 AM (VoSja)

54 Shock? A teal belt with white pants.

Oh god.

Unless Shock is a frozen-broccoli heir, those slots between his abs are semen runoff ditches.

Posted by: oblig. at May 11, 2011 11:35 AM (xvZW9)

55 That being said: how many of us wouldn't have hit it in college?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at May 11, 2011 03:34 PM (LH6ir)

Or worse? a lot worse.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 11, 2011 11:36 AM (H8y9V)

56 LOL "modesty fat" indeed, you and me both Ace

Posted by: chemjeff at May 11, 2011 11:36 AM (7mSYS)

Ok male morons you can all come out now, Moronettes are a little concerned about a gay guy in a hot body , so you beer guts guys are safe.

ace a layer of fat, was really funny, you're so good at writing We needed laughter. thank u

Posted by: willow at May 11, 2011 11:36 AM (h+qn8)

58 such as dilligently encasing my rippling abs in a protective slab of Modesty Fat. Oh, I'm with you, Ace. I feel it's vital to the cause of order and decorum to hide my finely ripped six pack from the women around me, who would be driven to frenzy if the were to behold it. That's why I go for the KFC -- I want to do my bit for an ordered society and do it as efficiently as possible. You're welcome.

Posted by: joncelli at May 11, 2011 11:36 AM (RD7QR)

59 At last! Meghan McCain has made herself useful!

Well, half useful. Naked and face down is the only way she can realize total usefulness.

Posted by: Sgt. York at May 11, 2011 11:36 AM (uLilQ)

60 A teal belt with white pants.

Not seeing the problem here.

Posted by: Philip Michael Thomas at May 11, 2011 11:37 AM (FYCiJ)

61 I hate the idea of giving any ammunition to the president and the rest of the libtards.

They could have thought it up themselves. At least, that's what I tell myself, or I'd scare myself into thinking that Jonah Goldberg reads my blog.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at May 11, 2011 11:37 AM (bjRNS)

62 52 The thing is, those abs aren't natural, you have to spend a LOT of time in the gym to get that look.

And to be fair, the HillBuzz guys think everybody is gay.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 11, 2011 03:35 PM (T0NGe)

They aren't?

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at May 11, 2011 11:37 AM (H8y9V)

63 Charlie Brown , as saying goes for young men, anything that breaths and talks. hopefully Talk isn't alot.

Posted by: willow at May 11, 2011 11:37 AM (h+qn8)

64 Wearing a burka and face down Naked and face down is the only way she can realize total usefulness.

Posted by: Sgt. York at May 11, 2011 03:36 PM (uLilQ)

FIFY

Posted by: Tami at May 11, 2011 11:38 AM (gFSHO)

65 That being said: how many of us wouldn't have hit it in college?

Yeah, but I also rode a moped...

And you know what they say......

Posted by: wiserbud at May 11, 2011 11:38 AM (3Okgs)

66
If this is the case, I feel terrible. I hate the idea of giving any ammunition to the president and the rest of the libtards.

Posted by: Bean Blossom

Don't fee bad. I kind of like the idea. If the gators were somehow an endangered species, that would make the whole thing protected and we could making a lot constituencies happy.

Posted by: nine nuts at May 11, 2011 11:38 AM (uz3hs)

67 It's topics like this that simply reinforce the fact that Palin is unelectable. ------------------------ Aaron Shock's abs / Hostage Muddler 2012

Posted by: MJ at May 11, 2011 11:38 AM (BKOsZ)

68 The Founding Fathers would be burning in hell right now if they had dared to make a pornographic commercial like that. The commercials they made were much more modest. This country has really gone downhill ever since women were allowed to live here.

Posted by: Ken! at May 11, 2011 11:39 AM (c45xH)

69 Charlie Brown , as saying goes for young men, anything that breaths and talks. hopefully Talk isn't alot.

Posted by: willow at May 11, 2011 03:37 PM (h+qn

The three Ps: pulse, pussy, and...ok, maybe just two Ps.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:39 AM (1fanL)

70 60 At last! Meghan McCain has made herself useful!

Well, half useful. Naked and face down is the only way she can realize total usefulness.

Posted by: Sgt. York at May 11, 2011 03:36 PM (uLilQ)

That's cheating. What woman _doesn't_ look good sucking pillow dust?

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 11, 2011 11:39 AM (H8y9V)

71 Can't a guy get a break? I'm still reeling from Barry's bitch-titties and Michelle's 36" pythons.

Posted by: Fritz at May 11, 2011 11:39 AM (GwPRU)

72 Those aren't abs.....I've seen better in the Chicago bath houses on the beaches of Hawaii.

Posted by: Barry the Cover Boy at May 11, 2011 11:39 AM (UOM48)

73 Ace may call it "modesty flab" whereas I prefer to think of myself as having a "6 flab abs."

"Hey, baby, wanna see my six flab? (if you say it really really fast and she's really really hammered, you just might get away with it)

Posted by: Blake at May 11, 2011 11:39 AM (8wyay)

74 If this is the case, I feel terrible. I hate the idea of giving any ammunition to the president and the rest of the libtards.

Posted by: Bean Blossom at May 11, 2011 03:34 PM (T1d4e)

Meh, don't worry about it. The Left will twist anything we say anyway.

Posted by: KG at May 11, 2011 11:39 AM (4L0zr)

75 And you know what they say......

Posted by: wiserbud at May 11, 2011 03:38 PM (3Okgs)

Once you go moped you never go dopehead?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:40 AM (1fanL)

76 This post is titled 'Republicans get naked...'. I thought we weren't calling her a Republican anymore... because she's not.

How about 'Republican and Attention-Whore-Who-Hitched-Her-Wagon to the Palin-Hate-Club-Strictly-to -Get-Invites-to-GMA-and-the Today Show Get Semi-Naked....'

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 11:41 AM (pLTLS)

77 This is easily the gayest post since Andy's.

Way to set a low fuckin' bar.

Posted by: Andy at May 11, 2011 11:41 AM (5Rurq)

78 The teal and white doesn't bother me--it's just preppy. The shirt collar unbuttoned one too far and the cut of the checked shirt bespeak gayness. I'd have to see the shoes. The shoes reveal everything.

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 11:41 AM (23y25)

79 In an act to bipartisanship Nancy Pelosi will appear topless next month.

Posted by: wrg50 at May 11, 2011 11:42 AM (mB2ub)

80 My sixpack abs are safely encased in a beer chest.

Posted by: tmitsss at May 11, 2011 11:42 AM (V4Pya)

81 Michelle's 36" pythons.

Posted by: Fritz at May 11, 2011 03:39 PM (GwPRU)

She has more than one? How does she know which one the pee is going to come out of?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:42 AM (1fanL)

82 That's cheating. What woman _doesn't_ look good sucking pillow dust?

Here's one for ya.

http://tinyurl.com/4x9yqb7

Posted by: wiserbud at May 11, 2011 11:42 AM (3Okgs)

83 Holy crap. That pic of Ricky Hollywood in the sidebar.....is that really the cover of his so-called book?

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:42 AM (UOM48)

84 I don't think Rep. Schock is "out" ghey...just "speculation" ghey.

Ladies, if he's still trying to sort it out, you may yet have a chance.

Posted by: BigDaddy1964 at May 11, 2011 11:43 AM (nO0Br)

85 so...what does JEF stand for? i know who it is, but what's it stand for?

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at May 11, 2011 11:43 AM (Ncpw7)

86 I come to AoSHQ for smart military commentary and I see a full pic of the guy who was washing the other guy's back in the hospital bed when Estelle Costanza got admitted after she caught George boxing goofy. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 11, 2011 11:43 AM (RPYjQ)

87 Holy crap. That pic of Ricky Hollywood in the sidebar.....is that really the cover of his so-called book?

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 03:42 PM (UOM4

You 'Ettes already on to the next dreamy beefcake?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:44 AM (1fanL)

88 Jug earred fuck

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 11:44 AM (23y25)

89 To the best of my knowledge, I've never turned anyone ghey. But I've got a damned good gay-dar.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:44 AM (UOM48)

90 Once you go moped you never go dopehead?

fat chicks are like mopeds. They're both fun to ride until your friends catch you on one.

Posted by: wiserbud at May 11, 2011 11:44 AM (3Okgs)

91 so...what does JEF stand for? i know who it is, but what's it stand for?

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at May 11, 2011 03:43 PM (Ncpw7)

Jug-eared fuck. We need a link in the sidebar.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:44 AM (1fanL)

92 I can see someone subscribing to a magazine called Men's Health. But, seriously, wouldn't you cancel your subscription when they start sending you magazines with shirtless guys on the cover? Like any normal guy is going to carry reading material with a cover like that into the bathroom.

Posted by: pitythefool at May 11, 2011 11:44 AM (BjQSh)

93 Oh, and left over from the ONT earlier, I think McDonald's fries SUCK. They USED to be good, but the last few times I've had em, they've been terrible.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 11:45 AM (UK9cE)

94 wiser bud, Kathy Griffin standing. Trust me, those Hole Handles round out when kneeling.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 11, 2011 11:45 AM (H8y9V)

95 Ladies, if he's still trying to sort it out, you may yet have a chance.

I'm not sure there's much to sort out if you wear a teal belt.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at May 11, 2011 11:45 AM (FkKjr)

96 If a six pack is good then a Keg is better, right?

It's taken me along time to look this modest.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 11, 2011 11:45 AM (tf9Ne)

97 HILLBUZZ has a lot to say about this: they say Aaron Shock and Lindsay Graham are closet cases, and the Prez, too.

Here, a bit about Obama on the down-low: "Obama and the Trinity Church murders"

http://preview.tinyurl.com/3q3qoua

Posted by: Beverly at May 11, 2011 11:46 AM (WcX/4)

98 I'm not directly saying he's gay I'm just putting it out there.

Posted by: Trading Places at May 11, 2011 11:46 AM (TMB3S)

#85

I don't think most women aspire to be the 'other half' in another Republican toe-tapping or Congressional aide scandal.

Posted by: Paper at May 11, 2011 11:46 AM (VoSja)

100 I'm not sure there's much to sort out if you wear a teal belt.

Just don't let Meggie Mac catch him in the tablecloth shirt. Poor guy won't know what hit him.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:46 AM (UOM48)

101

encasing my rippling abs in a protective slab of Modesty Fat

Covering your six-pack with a half-keg?

Posted by: Mama AJ at May 11, 2011 11:46 AM (XdlcF)

102

Hehe, there are no bones protecting the abdomen, so your logic is sound - my abs are safely ensconced behind a layer of prodigious whale blubber and several lame T-shirts with the Batman logo proudly displayed on them.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 11, 2011 11:47 AM (c0A3e)

103 I'm not sure there's much to sort out if you wear a teal belt.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at May 11, 2011 03:45 PM (FkKjr)

You've obviously never accessorized.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:47 AM (1fanL)

104 #93

Every "men's health" type magazine has homoerotic pictures of men showing off their abs on the cover. Draw your own conclusions.

On PETA, all they ever do is nudity and shock tactics.

Posted by: looking closely at May 11, 2011 11:47 AM (6Q9g2)

105 93 I can see someone subscribing to a magazine called Men's Health.

I can't even understand the concept of "Women's Health". We shouldn't even address womens' health. Men die first. When we stop dying first, then we can start worrying about teh wimmins and their life-giving vajayjays.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 11, 2011 11:47 AM (T0NGe)

106 The teal belt is just typical preppy. It's more the cut of the shirt--super athletic cut--and too many buttons are undone. If he has on topsiders, llbean mocs or bucks then ok if he has on driving moccs or gucci loafers with that then it's gay.

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 11:48 AM (23y25)

107
Hitting Meggie Mac is like riding a scooter: it's fun, but not something you want your friends seeing you ride.

What?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at May 11, 2011 11:48 AM (1hM1d)

108 Shock is: * 30 * never married * no girlfriend * wears a turquoise belt with white pants * models with his shirt off * loved by chubby mccain Can you figure it out???? [nttiawwt]

Posted by: Tough US Immigration Policies at May 11, 2011 11:49 AM (x/4B/)

109 98 HILLBUZZ has a lot to say about this: they say Aaron Shock and Lindsay Graham are closet cases, and the Prez, too.

Lindsay Graham!!????!! I'm shocked.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Moats n Gators franchise owner at May 11, 2011 11:49 AM (UOM48)

110 Obama doesn't know how to quit me

Posted by: Larry Sinclair at May 11, 2011 11:49 AM (H8y9V)

111 I can't even understand the concept of "Women's Health".

Posted by: AmishDude at May 11, 2011 03:47 PM (T0NGe)

Careful. Playboy is a womens' health magazine. All those women are healthy, aren't they?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:49 AM (1fanL)

112 I've got 12 pack abs.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 11, 2011 11:49 AM (1DwX4)

113

That's cheating. What woman _doesn't_ look good sucking pillow dust?

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 11, 2011 03:39 PM (H8y9V)

Rosie O'Dumbass.........

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 11:49 AM (UK9cE)

114 A meghan mccain vid?? I need lotion stat!

Posted by: Allahpundit at May 11, 2011 11:49 AM (u8JAM)

115 One part of that outfit is bad enough. The white jeans. The belt (oh.em.gee) and that shirt so ghey it's about spontaneously combust. But then he goes and tucks it all in just to complete what is the most obvious sign that he takes it up the poopshoot.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 11:49 AM (pLTLS)

116 Another hint would be whether he used the "shake weight" to get those abs?

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 11:50 AM (23y25)

117

Posted by: Tough US Immigration Policies at May 11, 2011 03:49 PM (x/4B/)

I don't get it.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 11, 2011 11:50 AM (c0A3e)

118 Rosie O'Dumbass.........

Posted by: Â© Sponge at May 11, 2011 03:49 PM (UK9cE)

If you hold her face in the pillow with enough force?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:51 AM (1fanL)

119
Is that Topango from that show with the kid from Wonder Years' little brother and the voice of KITT?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 11, 2011 11:51 AM (uFokq)

120

Every "men's health" type magazine has homoerotic pictures of men showing off their abs on the cover. Draw your own conclusions.

And this is why the country has gone into moral decay and ruin. Men's health magazines in the Founding Fathers' day never showed such vile images. They had better things on the covers, such as large, glistening, erect male members. I mean, WORSE things like that. Uhhhh.....

Posted by: Ken! at May 11, 2011 11:51 AM (c45xH)

121 115 A meghan mccain vid?? I need lotion stat!
Posted by: Allahpundit at May 11, 2011 03:49 PM (u8JAM)

Or a lobotomy.

Posted by: wrg50 at May 11, 2011 11:51 AM (mB2ub)

122 men men men men manly men men men

Posted by: FAB at May 11, 2011 11:51 AM (v85We)

123

91 Once you go moped you never go dopehead?

fat chicks are like mopeds. They're both fun to ride until your friends catch you on one.

They beat the skinny ones. Its like riding an english bicycle across railroad ties.

Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 11:52 AM (Q5+Og)

124 Meghan McCain naked? Gutsy.

Posted by: t-bird at May 11, 2011 11:52 AM (FcR7P)

125 I have a comment as important as this entire post:

Posted by: Meremortal at May 11, 2011 11:53 AM (Usk3+)

126 Trust me, those Hole Handles round out when kneeling.

They probably flop down and look like the fender skirts on a 1977 Pontiac Bonneville

Posted by: wiserbud at May 11, 2011 11:53 AM (3Okgs)

127

If you hold her face in the pillow with enough force?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 03:51 PM (1fanL)

And don't do it from the backside, you might have something there.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 11:53 AM (UK9cE)

128 I just glans-ed at the cover and couldn't help but notice that the hairdresser really shafted him.

Posted by: K-K-K-Ken at May 11, 2011 11:54 AM (1fanL)

129

He looks like the guy on How I Met Your Mother. The gay one. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just sayin.

Posted by: Abdullah Oblongata at May 11, 2011 11:54 AM (9BzDU)

130 Listen, Lassie, and listen good. I'm not saying he's not gonna get married. I'm not saying he's not gonna have kids. If it does happen, his wife is gonna come home, and find him with his Tiajuana lover clubbing each other with Yanni's greatest hits.

Posted by: Gary at May 11, 2011 11:55 AM (uz3hs)

131
Out of all the attention whores in that vid, they showed the least amount of body area with Meghan.

They don't show much of Brandy, either. But that's probably because she has other stupid ugly tattoos.

Meghan is only shown from her shoulders on up.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 11, 2011 11:55 AM (uFokq)

132 Shock before entering Congress.

Posted by: Rocks at May 11, 2011 11:55 AM (Q1lie)

133 Geez, nuthin' to do today. They're not running out of water along the Mississippi, so I've done my job. What's this picture? Can you call yourself a man if you don't have man-boobs?

Posted by: Commandante O at May 11, 2011 11:55 AM (FcR7P)

134

He looks like the guy on How I Met Your Mother. The gay one. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just sayin.

Posted by: Abdullah Oblongata at May 11, 2011 03:54 PM (9BzDU)

Doogie Howser? Sorry, that's all I know that homo as.....

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 11:55 AM (UK9cE)

135
Maybe I'm just a cranky old prude, but I'm really tired of PETA, and everyone else, deciding that nudity (or suggested nudity) is the hip new way to sell "issues" and "awareness."

Geez, Ken is ace?????

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 11, 2011 11:56 AM (7YzRS)

136 Don't fee bad. I kind of like the idea. If the gators were somehow an endangered species, that would make the whole thing protected and we could making a lot constituencies happy.

Yes! It's brilliant!
Build a moat along the Mexican border, and fill it with... albino gators!!

Posted by: chemjeff at May 11, 2011 11:56 AM (7mSYS)

137 fat chicks are like mopeds. They're both fun to ride until your friends catch you on one.

There are a lot of them around here. They call them DUI bikes. You can drive them here with no license. So people who have lost their license or who can not afford an SR-22 filing drive mopeds.

Posted by: Vic at May 11, 2011 11:56 AM (M9Ie6)

138 Doogie Howser? Sorry, that's all I know that homo as.....

Posted by: Â© Sponge at May 11, 2011 03:55 PM (UK9cE)

Doogie's married and has a kid, hater.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:56 AM (1fanL)

139 I can't possibly be the only person that thinks Megan McCain doesn't look that bad.

???

She's a dumb tw@t. Don't get me wrong - I personally can't stand her. But I don't think she's that fat.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 11:56 AM (pLTLS)

140 Meghan is only shown from her shoulders on up.

That was all we could fit of her into the shot

Posted by: camera man at Meggie Mac's shoot at May 11, 2011 11:56 AM (3Okgs)

141 Congressman Shock's obsession with exercise is creepy and weird and undoubtedly interferes with his duties as a congressperson.

Posted by: MSM Template #136 at May 11, 2011 11:57 AM (U6MtO)

142 Gotta disagree on the Maggie Mac issue. Curvy is crazy hot. I'll ride that moped any day, and in front of my friends.

Posted by: BigDaddy1964 at May 11, 2011 11:57 AM (nO0Br)

143 Would you say I have a plethora of pectorals?

Posted by: El Guapo at May 11, 2011 11:57 AM (QKKT0)

144 Well I predict that Aaron will be successful reaching out to other members of Congress (e.g., Barney Frank and Lindsay).

Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 11:57 AM (Q5+Og)

145

Doogie's married and has a kid, hater.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 03:56 PM (1fanL)

Several gays do. He came out of the closet a while ago. Homolover....

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 11:58 AM (UK9cE)

146 I'm already scheduling for Schock to come out in a few years when both parties push through civil union/gay marriage legislation in 2013 or 2015.

Posted by: Paper at May 11, 2011 11:58 AM (VoSja)

147

*Moronette MWR perks up* Why, hello, Rep Shock. Pray, where do you hail from? Because all I've got in the House is Charlie Bass, and... no.

Posted by: MWR at May 11, 2011 11:58 AM (4df7R)

148 You boys sure found a way to make the time pass up there. Schock, you guys wasn't gettin' paid to leave the dogs babysittin' the sheep while you stem the rose.

Posted by: Larry Sinclair at May 11, 2011 11:58 AM (H8y9V)

149 Why does ace need "modesty fat" when he's a furry?

Posted by: Y-not at May 11, 2011 11:58 AM (pW2o8)

150 But I don't think she's that fat.

Perhaps not. I think it's mainly her fat head that offends my sensibilities the most.

Posted by: camera man at Meggie Mac's shoot at May 11, 2011 11:58 AM (3Okgs)

151

Maybe I'm just a cranky old prude, but I'm really tired of PETA, and everyone else, deciding that nudity (or suggested nudity) is the hip new way to sell "issues" and "awareness."

Cue SE Cupp!!!!

Posted by: Soona at May 11, 2011 11:59 AM (N63LY)

152 Several gays do. He came out of the closet a while ago. Homolover....

Posted by: Â© Sponge at May 11, 2011 03:58 PM (UK9cE)

You're the one who knew he was gay. Sponge.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 11:59 AM (1fanL)

153 When I see pics like that my first thought is "How much time each day does he/she spend at the gym?" As opposed to, you know...doing their fucking job.

Posted by: ericinva at May 11, 2011 11:59 AM (tQAbr)

154 80 In an act to bipartisanship Nancy Pelosi will appear topless next month.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Posted by: chemjeff at May 11, 2011 12:00 PM (7mSYS)

155 We've got a strong signal inbound...

Posted by: GAYDAR at May 11, 2011 12:00 PM (sOtz/)

156 ok....while the guy is good looking and fit.....it has been my experience that guys who are that into their body.....are teh ghey.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 11, 2011 12:00 PM (eOXTH)

157

I guess it's a step in the right direction that Men's Health is giving a Republican politician some credit. I remember how health magazines mooned over Obama as "the fittest president in decades" 2 years ago. What a crock of shit. By any objective standard, George Bush was in fantastic physical condition; the guy had a resting heart rate in the 40s, for chrissakes. I must have missed all the slavering articles on his discipline and fitness.

Posted by: UGAdawg at May 11, 2011 12:00 PM (kPeSM)

158 There, there now, Puddin' Cup. You'll forget all about those mean conservatives as soon as I find another biker gang for you to play with. They don't care about whether or not you're big boned or tattooed.

Chins up, Pookie.

Posted by: Jonny McMaverick at May 11, 2011 12:00 PM (GwPRU)

159
btw, I know there's a D-list in acting circles, but is there an F-list?

'cuz all those chicks are obscure hasbeens.

Two of them I don't even know.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 11, 2011 12:00 PM (uFokq)

160 Several gays do. He came out of the closet a while ago. Homolover....
Posted by: Â© Sponge at May 11, 2011 03:58 PM (UK9cE)

Free Republic's over that way. *jabs thumb*

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 11, 2011 12:01 PM (FYCiJ)

161 And Next Wednesday on AoSHQ we will have Newt Gengrich in a speedo!

Posted by: robtr at May 11, 2011 12:01 PM (MtwBb)

162 ...yeah doogie is married...to a man....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 11, 2011 12:01 PM (eOXTH)

163 I first saw this on some celeb-gossip type site (can't remember which one, I think it might have been dlisted?) and the poster asked if anyone'd hit it. Almost every single commenter was like "Hell no, maybe if he wasn't a Republican" and "He's a Republican and a southern Baptist, obviously he's gay," and "typical closeted conservative, he must suck at his job if he has so much time to work out anyway." I love how they libs are SO TOLERANT!!

Posted by: CMS2004 at May 11, 2011 12:01 PM (PXyxH)

164 Or WAS it a thumb?

Posted by: AaronTheBlowUpDoll at May 11, 2011 12:02 PM (FYCiJ)

165 >>I must have missed all the slavering articles on his discipline and fitness. Just the opposite. They hammered him for all the running and working out he did instead of doing president stuff.

Posted by: Trading Places at May 11, 2011 12:02 PM (TMB3S)

166 158 ok....while the guy is good looking and fit.....it has been my experience that guys who are that into their body.....are teh ghey.....

Hasta la vista, baby!

Posted by: Arnold! at May 11, 2011 12:02 PM (c0A3e)

167

You're the one who knew he was gay. Sponge.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 11, 2011 03:59 PM (1fanL)

Because I have a wife that reads People Magazine and she told me so. I personally don't give a shit because he's not out flaunting his gayness and preaching to me how I have to accept him and his hairymanass lifestyle.

But, think what you want. I am not here to start a fight over who's gay and who's not.....but he's gay....and this senator guy? If he's gay, can the left tout the GOP as the anti-gay party anymore?

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:02 PM (UK9cE)

168 Schock's District

The 18th district of Illinois is made up of 20 counties and three metropolitan areas, Peoria, Springfield and Jacksonville. The population is over 650,000 people.

The district includes all 11 counties President Abraham Lincoln represented during his one term in Congress, 1847-49.

"Hey Abe -- how much ya bench!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 11, 2011 12:03 PM (M8E6y)

169 I sent the commercial around to a bunch of my guy friends. They didn't think the nakedness was sexy and they are all raging heterosexuals. Some of the guys pointed out that they assumed every one of those women has something on covering their boobs and their private parts. One of my guy friends said that "when you take a bunch of unsexy women and make them naked, they are still un sexy" Everyone felt the commercial was aimed at women who don't wear sunscreen. Who knew men always wear sunscreen cause of sports?

Shock's cover, on the other hand is super sexy!

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 12:03 PM (k1rwm)

170 Yeah, most guys suck in their gut stand in front of the mirror make muscle arms decide everything is fine and go about their business.

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 12:03 PM (23y25)

171 In fact, I find it so vulgar I have taken great precautions to make sure I never cross this line, such as dilligently encasing my rippling abs in a protective slab of Modesty Fat I'd smother that boy in my folds.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 11, 2011 12:04 PM (U9jjw)

172 I love how they libs are SO TOLERANT!!

no kidding
guilty pleasure: I have been hanging out a little bit at FireDogLake lately, mainly to stir up some trouble

they are not only ultra-left-wing, as in somewhere in the neighborhood of Marx and Lenin - they are also extremely paranoid (everything is a 'right-wing plot'!) and also kinda dumb.

and I wonder how we lost to those guys.

Posted by: chemjeff at May 11, 2011 12:04 PM (7mSYS)

173 Not impressed by either. Shock is gay and McCain is a stupid slut.

Posted by: kevlarchick at May 11, 2011 12:04 PM (TNuqz)

174 white alligatoors eating brown meicans? RACIST!!!

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at May 11, 2011 12:04 PM (Ncpw7)

175

He's too slick and waspy for me. I prefer my Republicans hairy and hebrew.

Posted by: Chellita at May 11, 2011 12:04 PM (9BzDU)

176 When I see pics like that my first thought is "How much time each day does he/she spend at the gym?" As opposed to, you know...doing their fucking job.

Posted by: ericinva at May 11, 2011 03:59 PM (tQAbr)

If he's actually doing the P90x workout, it only takes an hour or so a day and is a pretty ridiculous workout. I have the DVD's, but can't bring myself to actually do what they want me to. Ehksursize iz hard..........

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:05 PM (UK9cE)

177
If he's gay, can the left tout the GOP as the anti-gay party anymore?

Kolb from AZ being in the House didn't stop them.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 11, 2011 12:05 PM (uFokq)

178 158 ok....while the guy is good looking and fit.....it has been my experience that guys who are that into their body.....are teh ghey..... Not necessarily. My observation is guys that are way into their body attract women who are way into their body as they are. Result is seeing a body builder pumping iron while his fat wife watches. Common sight in the Marines. Always made me ask why the husband doesn't reverse places with Miss Piggy and force her to do some reps. But hey, they are both way into his body. Creepy and yet quite common.

Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 12:05 PM (Q5+Og)

179 seriously, shock is gay? Oh I have terrible gaydar.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 12:05 PM (k1rwm)

180 The problem with gay Republicans is that they are usually married and have kids.

Posted by: Beagle at May 11, 2011 12:06 PM (sOtz/)

181 163 And Next Wednesday on AoSHQ we will have Newt Gengrich in a speedo!

Posted by: robtr at May 11, 2011 04:01 PM (MtwBb)

Just remember Newt, the potato goes in the front of the Speedo, not the back...

Posted by: The Robot Devil at May 11, 2011 12:06 PM (LdYLm)

182 No doubt he'll do alot of reaching around the aisle.

Posted by: mark c at May 11, 2011 12:06 PM (SBIko)

183 If he's gay, can the left tout the GOP as the anti-gay party anymore?

what do you think?

Posted by: Clarence Thomas, Michael Steele, JC Watts, Condi Rice at May 11, 2011 12:07 PM (7mSYS)

184 The rumors of Lindsey Graham being gay have been around for a long time. About every six months Gawker will announce someone has pictures. Still no pictures.

But as we know from bin Laden...just 'cause you ain't seen the pictures don;t make it not so.

Posted by: Larry Sinclair at May 11, 2011 12:07 PM (H8y9V)

185 and I wonder how we lost to those guys.

Posted by: chemjeff at May 11, 2011 04:04 PM (7mSYS)

Because we had the worst possible candidate on our side who was painted to be GWB II.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:07 PM (UK9cE)

186 It is because of pr0n that I have to get my CD Keys from seedy web sites instead of having the govenment provide them to me.

Posted by: Ken! at May 11, 2011 12:07 PM (c45xH)

187
....Modesty Fat

Lard Drapes.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 11, 2011 12:09 PM (M8E6y)

188 Posted by: Â© Sponge at May 11, 2011 04:05 PM (UK9cE)

I swear orthopedists designed that workout to drum up business. In the last couple of months I know two guys and a girl who all got injured doing that workout and they were all over fit, marathon running, yoga doing types who thought "piece of cake". They all had to "not exercise in any way for a month and take I think celebrex or some other c drug for like a week"

the orthopedist, laughed in all three cases.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 12:09 PM (k1rwm)

189 I'm betting that Schock shaves his belly and chest. Just a guess. Don't go all gators and moats on me.

Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 12:09 PM (Q5+Og)

190

I have the DVD's, but can't bring myself to actually do what they want me to. Ehksursize iz hard..........

P90X is a great workout for someone who was once a gymnast but got fat or was once a wrestler, that sort of thing. Bottom line is that most people will have to do the reduced versions of the exercises and better be careful about getting a major sports injury to the connective tissue somewhere.

Start out with long fast walks, before you start jumping back and forth sideways over something.

Posted by: Beagle at May 11, 2011 12:09 PM (sOtz/)

191 Yeah, most guys suck in their gut stand in front of the mirror make muscle arms decide everything is fine and go about their business.

That sounds like a lot of work I just assume everything is fine and go about my business.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 11, 2011 12:10 PM (tf9Ne)

192 damn sock

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 11, 2011 12:11 PM (H8y9V)

193 I'll fess up: I'd pound Meggie Mac like Michael Moore on a pot roast.

Posted by: Johnny

Fess up failure. Reason? There's no difference between the items you cited.

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 11, 2011 12:11 PM (326rv)

194 goober i don't think he shaves...i think he waxes.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 11, 2011 12:11 PM (eOXTH)

195 the orthopedist, laughed in all three cases.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 04:09 PM (k1rwm)

It's a really tough set of workouts, for sure, but they tell you at the beginning of each vid that you should only do what you're comfortable with and work your way up in numbers ONLY when you're fit enough to.

That's why I just can't bring myself to start it. The 20 minute ab vid is just sick. Made me hurt just watching it.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:12 PM (UK9cE)

196 197 goober

i don't think he shaves...i think he waxes..... Do you think he has the thong look going on? All the girls love that. Personally I be missing the wooley bully look.

Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 12:13 PM (Q5+Og)

197 goober

i don't think he shaves...i think he waxes.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl

The proper term is 'exfoliation'.

Posted by: frequent rider pass on the Metro(sexual) at May 11, 2011 12:13 PM (Gzv/o)

198

Start out with long fast walks, before you start jumping back and forth sideways over something.

Posted by: Beagle at May 11, 2011 04:09 PM (sOtz/)

I always simulate every exercise with my fingers on the table. Yeah, like, just now I simulated walking around my computer. Exercise is ez.

Posted by: Soona at May 11, 2011 12:14 PM (N63LY)

199 Yes! It's brilliant! Build a moat along the Mexican border, and fill it with... albino gators!! Posted by: chemjeff Albino gators? RACIST!!!111eleventy!!!11 (and yes, i denounce myself.)

Posted by: moki at May 11, 2011 12:14 PM (dZmFh)

200 Posted by: Â© Sponge at May 11, 2011 04:12 PM (UK9cE)

they got no sympathy we all warned them. I'm sure that it must take weeks to just get to the point where you can go to the next step and probably if you do it slow and steady they are great. Problem is everyone is in a hurry and thinks they are more fit than they are.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 12:15 PM (k1rwm)

201 I'm not gay, and I burned that belt.

http://tinyurl.com/2bl9ohx

Grain. Salt. Etc.

Posted by: Aaron Schock at May 11, 2011 12:15 PM (MWXXs)

202

It was either Congress or Ab Coaster Informercials. And well, darn, Ab Coaster already hired Elisabeth Hasslebeck.

Posted by: Abdullah Oblongata at May 11, 2011 12:16 PM (9BzDU)

203 My wife hates Bristol Palin and Sarah Palin. Megan McCain? She never heard of.

Posted by: Truman North at May 11, 2011 12:16 PM (K2wpv)

204 goober ewwww a guy wearing a thong?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 11, 2011 12:17 PM (eOXTH)

205 Speaking of fat, "Tractor Traylor' (hoops fans will know who I'm talking about) died.

Not surprisingly - of a heart attack.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 12:18 PM (pLTLS)

206 I always enjoyed watching that Sommer girl doing the Thigh Master commercials. Something about big titted blonde women squeezing something between their legs repetively really speaks to my inner self. She has a awful pretty mouth too.

Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 12:18 PM (Q5+Og)

207 Decadence!

Posted by: Abby Adams (stealing from Kratos) at May 11, 2011 12:18 PM (pLTLS)

208 5.3 earthquake in SE Spain. 7 dead. From Drudge.

Posted by: Y-not at May 11, 2011 12:18 PM (pW2o8)

209 i really like guys with a hairy chest, I don't know why so many guys wax off the hair. And then when it starts falling off the top they wonder why. Well, they insulted the hair on their chest and legs and put a hat on their head their whole life, the hair leaves, it feels unloved, unwanted.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 12:18 PM (k1rwm)

210 they got no sympathy we all warned them. I'm sure that it must take weeks to just get to the point where you can go to the next step and probably if you do it slow and steady they are great. Problem is everyone is in a hurry and thinks they are more fit than they are.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 04:15 PM (k1rwm)

Oh for sure. It's all ego. People forget that they haven't exercised in 30 years and they're not teenagers anymore, so they jump in with both feet. I'm guilty. I started doing simple push-ups one week. Each night for a week. First night did 4 sets of 20. Next day, 4 sets of 20....by day 3, my chest felt like someone was stabbing me with forks constantly and I couldn't lift my arms over my head for 3 days........

We've got an elliptical machine in the house now, which I can get on and do pretty well, when I want to and it doesn't KILL me 2 days later. I get on that when I'm feeling fat..... 8^)

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:18 PM (UK9cE)

211 My wife hates Bristol Palin and Sarah Palin. Megan McCain? She never heard of.

Posted by: Truman North

Did they ever give a reason? And does the reason seem to come from them, or is it some sort of conventional wisdom they've adopted?

Posted by: Blue hen at May 11, 2011 12:19 PM (Gzv/o)

212 as for the alligator moat thing...i'll settle for an f'n fence......

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 11, 2011 12:19 PM (eOXTH)

213

If this stuff is OK, do I get my old Congressman back?

I suppose not. But if the Republican wins in our special election, I guarantee it would make major headlines if she did this kind of pose...

Posted by: Optimizer at May 11, 2011 12:19 PM (F56VB)

214 Speaking of fat, "Tractor Traylor' (hoops fans will know who I'm talking about) died.

Not surprisingly - of a heart attack.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 04:18 PM (pLTLS)

Former Dallas Maverick draft pick, I believe. Univeristy of Michigan. Ate himself right out of basketball.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:20 PM (UK9cE)

215 I stripped off my tee shirt and incinerated a bit of my Modesty Fat last night at the Bikram studio.

Posted by: boniface ballers at May 11, 2011 12:21 PM (bPbwB)

216 207 goober

ewwww a guy wearing a thong? Well if he's waxing his chest and belly, do you think he stops at his belt line? Any pictures of him in shorts? Wouldn't be surprised if he shaves his legs. This boy is one blue ribbon winning greased pig.

Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 12:21 PM (Q5+Og)

217

A teal belt with white pants?

Pfft. Periwinkle would have been so much bet-.....er, I mean...that is so ghey.

He probably drinks mint juleps out of a silver cup.

Posted by: beedubya at May 11, 2011 12:21 PM (AnTyA)

218 I don't wear sunscreen because I have psoriasis.

Still.

You'd think with all of that money going into chemistry and biology, they'd've figured out a little skin disease by now.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 11, 2011 12:21 PM (T0NGe)

219 O/T Shocker

http://tinyurl.com/65fgtpq

36 y.o. actress dies from knee surgery. I have a SIL who developed staff in a hospital following knee surgery. It put a world of hurt on her. They don't say exactly what it was that killed this young lady but I would bet on staff. I understand it has become quite common now.

All I can say is Morons be careful out there. Nothing in a hospital is routine anymore.

Posted by: Vic at May 11, 2011 12:22 PM (M9Ie6)

220

#204

I burned the belt because it was sooooo last season people.

Posted by: Rep. Aaron Schock at May 11, 2011 12:22 PM (VoSja)

221 214 Right? That's always the question. Most women just will then repeat some stupid People magazine shit. I say, policy, policy, policy. My own sister said, I hate Glenn Beck. I asked why. Too dramatic. What did he say that you disagreed with? I don't know, I never listened to him. Get a fucking clue. Learn a fact. Then form an opinion. You can have one just base it on something other than what you heard on Jon Stewart. Something real.

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 12:22 PM (23y25)

222
I was very disappointed in the Meggy Mac video, she never shows us all the way.

You were saved. It looks like a well nibbled Korean taco slathered with pico de gallo.

Posted by: Cooter Examiner at May 11, 2011 12:23 PM (ndqJC)

223
and I wonder how we lost to those guys.

*insert Idiocracy opening scene joke here*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 11, 2011 12:23 PM (7YzRS)

224 >>He poses to publicize a get fit campaign WTF does he need to publicize a get fit campaign for any way? You're a congressman for gawds sake! Don't you have anything more pressing to do? Juvenile.

Posted by: Deety at May 11, 2011 12:23 PM (mMv0h)

225 Posted by: Â© Sponge at May 11, 2011 04:18 PM (UK9cE)

the two guys are 28 and 31, the girl is 29 and they are super fit. They run marathons and do hot yoga and do triathelons and stuff, we're always going to bring water and cheer them on. They were all upset that they couldn't do it and I'm sure it's in the back of all their minds to try again.

One of my friends was in the navy. she does their exercises every day and looks great but she says she does them cause she never wants to have to hurt like she hurt when she went for her training.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 12:23 PM (k1rwm)

226

I didn't watch the video of a naked Meggie Mac. I don't think my nerves could handle it.

Was her back fat just resplendent in it?

Posted by: beedubya at May 11, 2011 12:23 PM (AnTyA)

227 I like hairy chests on men too. A smooth one would make me feel lesbionic. Shudder.

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 12:24 PM (23y25)

228 Hey, curious, Is it true that vagina tastes like licking a nine-volt battery?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 11, 2011 12:24 PM (U9jjw)

229 212 i really like guys with a hairy chest, I don't know why so many guys wax off the hair. And then when it starts falling off the top they wonder why. Well, they insulted the hair on their chest and legs and put a hat on their head their whole life, the hair leaves, it feels unloved, unwanted.

So that's why men go bald...
^_/

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 11, 2011 12:24 PM (P+zzG)

230 Mmmmmmmmm. MeggieMac

Posted by: Hungry Moat Gator at May 11, 2011 12:24 PM (EL+OC)

231 All of this man meat and lady lard floating around the innertubes these days, and yet they still haven't released photos of the one-eyed lungee snake.

I want proof, dammit.

Posted by: Fritz at May 11, 2011 12:25 PM (GwPRU)

232

215 as for the alligator moat thing...i'll settle for an f'n fence...

What I want to know is why everybody seems to be afraid to use the term "unpresidential" when talking about this guy. He's almost as snarky a Bill Maher.

And why doesn't some Republican polititian come out and say "We'll be happy when the damn border is secure, you f-ing a-hole! We don't care how many agents, or how long or what kind of fence it takes - DO YOUR JOB!!"

This isn't some pathological desire to pointlessly spend money - that's your "job" too!

Posted by: Optimizer at May 11, 2011 12:25 PM (F56VB)

233 36 y.o. actress dies from knee surgery. I have a SIL who developed staff in a hospital following knee surgery. It put a world of hurt on her. They don't say exactly what it was that killed this young lady but I would bet on staff. I understand it has become quite common now.

All I can say is Morons be careful out there. Nothing in a hospital is routine anymore.

Posted by: Vic at May 11, 2011 04:22 PM (M9Ie6)

Well, since she's an actress, Congress will no doubt work on legislation outlawing the practice of knee surgery. I mean, one dizzy bitch gets wounded texting while driving and phones are banned everywhere.

That being said, there's an artificial limb company that's getting sued because people with their implants are getting staph infections years later because of the materials used.

It's amazing.....I thought the FDA was supposed to prevent things like this from happening.......

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:25 PM (UK9cE)

234 231 Hey, curious,

Is it true that vagina tastes like licking a nine-volt battery? LOL. If you're lucky it does.

Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 12:26 PM (Q5+Og)

235

On the other hand, it does so by validating the liberal media's criteria of valuation. Pretty is good.

Ace ... Got news for ya, champ. This isn't a liberal valuation. It's a human valuation. In fact I think liberals reject "prettiness" as ideal. It's part of their kneejerk contrarian response to anything deemed traditional, normal, common. Your post about that was brilliant, by the way.

Representative Aaron Shock is smoking hawt. I'd hit that like the moronettes hit the Nordstrom's half yearly shoe sale.

Posted by: Dumb_Blonde at May 11, 2011 12:27 PM (0f5+I)

236 optimizer politics aside, there is something wrong with the guy.... the worst part of this is that when JANET was the gov...she was soliciting the feds daily for money for the border for housing the illegals in our state prisons...now all of a sudden...with nothing being done at all...she/he claims the border is secure.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 11, 2011 12:27 PM (eOXTH)

237 Guys always say guys who dress well and have great abs are gay. We are on to you.

Posted by: MayBee at May 11, 2011 12:28 PM (PLixr)

238 I like hairy chests on men too. A smooth one would make me feel lesbionic. Shudder.

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 04:24 PM (23y25)

Nah.....our nipples don't do what yours do and usually are nowhere near as big. Hard to confuse the two, I would think.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:28 PM (UK9cE)

239 Vic, that is so sad. I bet cause of the dizziness it was a heart problem or a blood clot or something. so sad.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 12:29 PM (k1rwm)

240 yeah staff = staph, I'm stupid today.

Posted by: Vic at May 11, 2011 12:29 PM (M9Ie6)

241
The rumors of Lindsey Graham being gay have been around for a long time.

I am not a fag, but there are some cocksuckers in Congress, and on occasion, I am forced to spend time with a few of the goober nibblers.

Posted by: Lindsey Graham at May 11, 2011 12:29 PM (ndqJC)

242 Posted by: Goober at May 11, 2011 04:26 PM (Q5+Og)

That's a really odd question to ask a girl. You'd have to ask the guys.

Posted by: curious at May 11, 2011 12:30 PM (k1rwm)

243

Guys always say guys who dress well and have great abs are gay. We are on to you.

You'd have a point, but the article makes it clear that the collective GAYDAR of the gay community went off when that teal belt photo went viral. You know it's gay when all the gay guys say it is.

Posted by: Beagle at May 11, 2011 12:30 PM (sOtz/)

244 the two guys are 28 and 31, the girl is 29 and they are super fit. They run marathons and do hot yoga and do triathelons and stuff, we're always going to bring water and cheer them on.

I've always been told that marathons are the worst thing for your body....it's just not meant to run that long. Your system starts eating itself because it just can't keep feeding the muscles and such......but that was years ago and I'm sure it's all different now because of the energy bars and gatorade and such.......

Posted by: © Sponge at May 11, 2011 12:30 PM (UK9cE)

245 222-hospital staph infection rates went up, and MRSA seemed to develop after CFC's were banned as a means of sterilizing hospital equipment. When I worked in a surgical unit, the clavicles that we used to sterilize surgical equipment used high heat and CFC's. Our surgical infection rate was ridiculously low, even for the times. Another thing to thank the EPA for.

Posted by: moki at May 11, 2011 12:30 PM (dZmFh)

246 but I would bet on staff. I understand it has become quite common now.

My mother an old timey nurse thinks the rise in staff infections is due partialy to the fact that everything in the hospital is now disposable. Her theory is since they no longer have to sterilize everything they have lost that skill set.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 11, 2011 12:30 PM (tf9Ne)

247 Hey, curious,

Is it true that vagina tastes like licking a nine-volt battery?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 11, 2011 04:24 PM (U9jjw)

Dude ! you never dissapoint.

Posted by: Jackhole at May 11, 2011 12:30 PM (+qHxi)

248 Don't care about Megs McCain's looks, other than I personally have to wonder why she over does the make up. What I can't stomach in her is the need to be just one more naive, dim witted liberal. And by that I mean, glomming onto policies that look all caring and generous, without ever giving a thought to the negative consequences to the so called victims. People like Dumbo McCain should be forced to live in Detroit, so they can deal first hand with the results of the caring, generous war on poverty.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2011 12:31 PM (1ckSh)

249
There's always the Jim Fixx thing. Almost singlehandedly starts the jogging craze in the 70s and later dies of a heart attack while jogging. Which proves that God has a sense of humor, to use an old PJ O'Rourke quip.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 11, 2011 12:32 PM (7YzRS)

250 I prefer a hairy chest too. It's like a hairy, manly wonderland of macho goodness.. a throwback to ancient times.

Posted by: Ariadne at May 11, 2011 12:32 PM (9BzDU)

251
Is it true that vagina tastes like licking a nine-volt battery?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 11, 2011 04:24 PM (U9jjw)

It's more like a Brillo Pad that's cleaned a grouper.

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at May 11, 2011 12:32 PM (ndqJC)

252 Another thing to thank the EPA for.

It seems that we are having to thank them for more and more total incompetence now. Time to eliminate them totally.

Posted by: Vic at May 11, 2011 12:33 PM (M9Ie6)

253

Well, y'all, he looks ok, but sort of like he has hernias to me with all that popping out stuff. I would bet he gazes more at his navel than most of us.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at May 11, 2011 12:33 PM (FnRYN)

254 253 I prefer a hairy chest too. It's like a hairy, manly wonderland of macho goodness.. a throwback to ancient times. You want some ancient throwback wait till you see my hairy tusker.

Posted by: KEN at May 11, 2011 12:34 PM (Q5+Og)

255 Wait, did AoS not cover the PX90 story where Shock, Ryan and some other young guns all exercise together in the basement? http://www.politico.com/click/stories/1003/ryan_leads_p90x_class_for_pols.html That being said, I would be Shock's beard any day of the week.

Posted by: FAB at May 11, 2011 12:35 PM (v85We)

256 Time to eliminate them totally.

Posted by: Vic at May 11, 2011 04:33 PM (M9Ie6)

Yeah. We're looking into that along with about a hundred other things we're looking into.

Posted by: Congress at May 11, 2011 12:36 PM (EL+OC)

257

Man, if you ever wanted to give Aaron the benefit of the doubt, the "gays only" perfect body don't help.

Posted by: William at May 11, 2011 12:36 PM (77TeU)

258 Anyone know how we can get a hold of Ms. McCain, or her agent? THANKS!

Posted by: The Biggest Loser production staff at May 11, 2011 12:37 PM (piR98)

259 You're also not going to cut down below 10% body fat like this dude without following an extremely strict diet. Diets are for HOMOS.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 11, 2011 12:40 PM (U9jjw)

260 Also, Megs McCain is another of those no talent dolts who are famous for being famous. She's an attention sponge who has absolutely no accomplishments of her own. Her father has political views that I despise. But he does have a military career, including surviving more than five years in a third world shit hole, and refusing to take advantage of an offer of early release. Does anyone think Megs has the same level of character? Of McCain's 7 children: Oldest was an aircraft carrier pilot and is now a commercial pilot Another 1/2 brother is VP for finance in step mom's company. Nepotism, but at least he has a job. 1/2 sister is an executive with Virgin Music. No nepotism needed one brother graduated from naval academy, serving in navy another brother enlisted in the marines and served 2 deployments, didn't wait till after college so he could be an officer. Youngest sister adopted from India, or Pakistan or somewhere studying to be a special ed teacher. So the one who has done nothing with her life, other than dye her hair blonde and wear lots of make up, sucks up attention like a sponge, while the marine quietly serves his country. And that's why I despise Megs McCain, because she is too dumb to be ashamed of herself.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2011 12:41 PM (1ckSh)

261 So the one who has done nothing with her life, other than dye her hair blonde and wear lots of make up, sucks up attention like a sponge, while the marine quietly serves his country. And that's why I despise Megs McCain, because she is too dumb to be ashamed of herself. Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2011 04:41 PM (1ck A righteous rant that should make her slink off to obscurity but won't, because as you say, she's shameless and so are our media masters.

Posted by: joncelli at May 11, 2011 12:44 PM (RD7QR)

262 Abs? Looking for a gutsy khal?

Here I am...

Posted by: Drogo at May 11, 2011 12:46 PM (ZY+lZ)

263 The teal belt doesn't bother me as much as the white pants. I didn't know guys wore white pants these days.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at May 11, 2011 12:56 PM (q7HXM)

264

I just have to comment on Schock since, well you know, there's frequently cheerleader babes and such posted here for the morons' collective and private viewing pleasure.

I'm not into metrosexuals. And that is what Schock appears to be. He's either a vain metrosexual OR he's gay. Yeah, nice torso (albeit hairless?), but to what avail is he using his strength? In political office? What's the point of so much vanity and muscle if you aren't using it for the greater good?

NOW. Give moronettes something better than this to look at next time. Show us some real American alpha males. . . like some SEALS or somethin'. I demand it!

Posted by: AmericanWoman at May 11, 2011 12:57 PM (SQvIY)

265 Also, Megs McCain is another of those no talent dolts who are famous for being famous. She's an attention sponge who has absolutely no accomplishments of her own.

Sounds like Linsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Barak Obama.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at May 11, 2011 12:59 PM (q7HXM)

266
I didn't know guys wore white pants these days.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at May 11, 2011 04:56 PM (q7HXM)

Ugh, very popular in Key West among a certain disadvantaged class according to liberal legend.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 11, 2011 01:02 PM (ndqJC)

267 BTW, you know what they say about women who wear white pants. . . wonder if that goes same for men, hmmm.

Posted by: AmericanWoman at May 11, 2011 01:04 PM (SQvIY)

268 The teal belt doesn't bother me as much as the white pants. I didn't know guys wore white pants these days.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver

Before Memorial Day? I think not.

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 11, 2011 01:05 PM (326rv)

269
...you know what they say about women who wear white pants. . .

Posted by: AmericanWoman at May 11, 2011 05:04 PM (SQvIY)

Oh yea, the old skid mark joke?

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 11, 2011 01:06 PM (ndqJC)

270

Oh yea, the old skid mark joke?

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 11, 2011 05:06 PM (ndqJC)

That certainly would give us better notion about his preferences.

Posted by: AmericanWoman at May 11, 2011 01:07 PM (SQvIY)

271 Discovery Channel did a documentary on three weeks of training, including Hell week that seals have to go through. Umm, they showed them with their shirts off. Just as magnificent as you are imagining. Those guys are in tip top shape. They HAVE to be, it isn't vanity.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2011 01:13 PM (1ckSh)

272 Diets are for HOMOS.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 11, 2011 04:40 PM (U9jjw)

You got that right!

Too fat? Walk instead of drive.

Life's too short to not eat whatever you want (in moderation).

And...fuck the food police. I'll eat as much god-damned salt as I want.

Pass the mayo.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at May 11, 2011 01:18 PM (LH6ir)

273 Those guys are in tip top shape. They HAVE to be, it isn't vanity.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2011 05:13 PM (1ckSh)

My thoughts exactly. Ripped guys who are that way because it's strictly an ego thing don't ring the bells of alpha females.

So, morons, don't get all insecure comparing yourself to Schock.

Posted by: AmericanWoman at May 11, 2011 01:19 PM (SQvIY)

274 NOW.Â Give moronettes something better than this to look at next time.Â Show us some real American alpha males. . .Â like some SEALS or somethin'.Â I demand it May I interest you in a 2011 Men of the AoSHQ calendar?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 11, 2011 01:20 PM (U9jjw)

275 May I interest you in a 2011 Men of the AoSHQ calendar?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 11, 2011 05:20 PM (U9jjw)

I'd pay. That'd be fun. Or funny.

Posted by: AmericanWoman at May 11, 2011 01:21 PM (SQvIY)

276

The more I look at this magazine cover, the more I get offended as a woman. The guy pretty much comes across as a narcissist or gay guy. It's as if to say, "Women don't really matter."

Posted by: AmericanWoman at May 11, 2011 01:23 PM (SQvIY)

277 There's something about gay guys faces that gives them away. Must be subliminal.

Posted by: Meremortal at May 11, 2011 01:40 PM (Usk3+)

278 Oh, and pull those pants up, asshole. I don't need to know that you wax down there too.

Posted by: Meremortal at May 11, 2011 01:42 PM (Usk3+)

279 I don't know, but the guy looks like he's about to sprout tits all along his tummy.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 11, 2011 02:17 PM (kUaEF)

280 Right? That's always the question. Most women just will then repeat some stupid People magazine shit. I say, policy, policy, policy. My own sister said, I hate Glenn Beck. I asked why. Too dramatic. What did he say that you disagreed with? I don't know, I never listened to him. Get a fucking clue. Learn a fact. Then form an opinion. You can have one just base it on something other than what you heard on Jon Stewart. Something real.

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 04:22 PM (23y25)

You are expecting political opinions to be real beliefs. Instead, they are a verbal equivalent of gang colors. You say the words, everyone knows which gang you are in. That's all it is to them, an indicator.

Posted by: Oldcat at May 11, 2011 02:18 PM (z1N6a)

281 Dude is gay. Straight men don't do this shite.

Posted by: Funeral Guy at May 11, 2011 03:16 PM (mi6Oh)

282 GIRLYMAN,GIRLYMAN,GIRLYMAN RRRAAAWWWWKKK

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at May 11, 2011 08:48 PM (vA9ld)

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