Ace of Spades HQ

February 24, 2011

Rumors: Qadaffy Shot
— Ace

And oil prices drop on a combination of those rumors and a pledge from the Saudis to pump more oil to make up (some) for disruptions.

As usual, this sort of rumor is useful to a rebellion as it often causes straddlers to flip to their side, so one party has a big vested interest in propagating it.

But, as this type of rumor can be devastating, Qadaffy has a huge interest in appearing on TV and dispelling it, so the longer he waits on that, the likelier it is it's true.

If he appears in some kind of canned announcement, that's almost a confirmation.

Posted by: Ace at 12:37 PM | Comments (81)
Post contains 111 words, total size 1 kb.

1 It was Sarah Palin!!

Posted by: The MFM at February 24, 2011 12:39 PM (QKKT0)

2 See what happens when you support Scott Walker?

Posted by: Union Thugs at February 24, 2011 12:39 PM (c45xH)

3 Buckwheat's Been Shot!?

Posted by: garrett at February 24, 2011 12:40 PM (g7hbH)

4 Guess that umbrella wasn't kevlar?

Posted by: nickless at February 24, 2011 12:40 PM (MMC8r)

5 Another victim of Global Warming!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at February 24, 2011 12:40 PM (ndlFj)

6 Hope the shot wasn't to the head. Can't imagine it could have got through with the perm/wig.

Posted by: Paper at February 24, 2011 12:41 PM (VoSja)

7 "Buckwheat's Been Shot!?"

John David Stutts: The Man Behind The Gun

Posted by: Jim at February 24, 2011 12:42 PM (/Mtjv)

8 7 "Buckwheat's Been Shot!?"

John David Stutts: The Man Behind The Gun

Brought to you by Texxon.

Life goes on, and Texxon is there. Because Buckwheat would have wanted it that way!

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at February 24, 2011 12:43 PM (bxvFd)

9 Obama will take credit somehow. Or Rahm...... fuckers

Posted by: BadgerBoy at February 24, 2011 12:44 PM (Fr8N6)

10 Impossible. A bullet would just bounce off all the medals.

Posted by: Cicero at February 24, 2011 12:44 PM (QKKT0)

11 So much for civil discourse.

I bet Obama sends a sympathy card and flowers.

Posted by: Marcus at February 24, 2011 12:44 PM (CHrmZ)

12 Hopefully he's pinin for the Fjords.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at February 24, 2011 12:44 PM (4yjiA)

13 Does this mean Bouncy Knowles will have to line up a different New Years gig in St. Bartz?

Posted by: Roadking at February 24, 2011 12:45 PM (hempZ)

14 I. Say. It's. Wabbit Season!

Posted by: Qhadaffy Duck at February 24, 2011 12:45 PM (QKKT0)

15 I dunno. Playing dead might be his best bet. Then he can catch his enemies unawares and shit and pop out from behind the shrubs, "Here I am, fuckers!"

Posted by: Soothsayer's twisted logic at February 24, 2011 12:46 PM (uFokq)

>>> I bet Obama sends a sympathy card and flowers.

No doubt Jimmeh will lay a nice wreath of flowers at his headstone.

Posted by: Roadking at February 24, 2011 12:47 PM (hempZ)

Some LSD using tailor is now out of a job

Posted by: Ben at February 24, 2011 12:47 PM (wuv1c)

18 The death of John David Stutts has been brought to you LIVE by Mutual Life: Because you could die tomorrow. Just like John David Stutts.

Posted by: Jim at February 24, 2011 12:47 PM (/Mtjv)

19 1 It was Sarah Palin!!

Posted by: The MFM at February 24, 2011 04:39 PM (QKKT0)

First comment thread winner. Nicely done.

Posted by: robviously at February 24, 2011 12:47 PM (6rLSO)

20 I'll believe it when they start dragging his body through the street.

Posted by: Vic at February 24, 2011 12:47 PM (M9Ie6)

21 wow, how historic. I hope we can help implement a new, less crazy regime there.

Posted by: joeindc44 at February 24, 2011 12:47 PM (QxSug)

22 I am going to smack you in the puss. woo hoo! wooooo hoo hoo hooo!

Posted by: Q'Daffy at February 24, 2011 12:50 PM (jGXQI)

23 I'm sure the story will be reissued and retracted a number of times over the next few hours.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at February 24, 2011 12:51 PM (iMgAa)

24 friend of mine pointed out that it was strange how quickly the White House pointed out that this wasn't true, causing oil to go back up.

On that conspiratorial note, I will depart until later this evening.

Posted by: Miss Marple at February 24, 2011 12:51 PM (Fo83G)

25 Don't believe the rumors until you see Qaddafi's corpse hanging upside-down from a lamppost.

Posted by: Zombie Mussolini at February 24, 2011 12:54 PM (JuWS+)

**sniff**sniff**

Posted by: John Boehner at February 24, 2011 12:55 PM (pr+up)

27 Anyone have a clue who shot Quadafi? Was it Colonel Mustard in the Billiard Room with the Revolver.

Posted by: runningrn at February 24, 2011 12:55 PM (ihSHD)

Another victim of Global Warming!

Save the Potentates!

Posted by: Bumpersticker Coming Soon to a Prius Near You at February 24, 2011 12:56 PM (g7hbH)

29 So sad! Now we can no longer get those bulk discounts on designer brocade. Sniff!

Posted by: Moochelle Obama at February 24, 2011 12:56 PM (ihSHD)

30 Well, if he is room temperature, now the real fight can begin, Which group of tribal nutjobs ends up replacing him.

Posted by: bigred HO HO HEY HEY HOW MANY JOBS BARACK KILL TODAY? at February 24, 2011 12:57 PM (cX9pO)

31 I am going to smack you in the puss.

woo hoo! wooooo hoo hoo hooo!

Posted by: Q'Daffy at February 24, 2011 04:50 PM (jGXQI)

Is Q'Daffy a strange duck-like creature that jumps all over a pyramid of cubes?

Posted by: Zombie Mussolini at February 24, 2011 12:57 PM (JuWS+)

Of course it's true. We saw it on Twitter.

It's not reliable until CNN has confirmed it.

Posted by: Leon Panetta, DCI at February 24, 2011 12:58 PM (QKKT0)

33
Then he can catch his enemies unawares and shit and pop out from behind the shrubs, "Here I am, fuckers!"

Posted by: Soothsayer's twisted logic at February 24, 2011 04:46 PM (uFokq)

Flaw in that plan: no shrubs in Tripoli.

Posted by: stuiec at February 24, 2011 12:58 PM (JuWS+)

34 Rumors: Qadaffy Shot

Richard Dreyfuss immediately flown in to impersonate the beloved dictator.

Posted by: dananjcon at February 24, 2011 12:58 PM (pr+up)

35 I was ready to call 'dead' with those recent pictures.

Posted by: nickless at February 24, 2011 12:59 PM (MMC8r)

Jews + Spiked Nescafe + Bin Laden? = Dead Qadaffy (or however the fuck you spell his name)

Posted by: Roadking at February 24, 2011 01:00 PM (hempZ)

37 No...... What I said was let's all drink a shot to Quadaffy.
Holy crap, everybody calm down.

Posted by: ontherocks at February 24, 2011 01:00 PM (HBqDo)

38 Whew!! Thank goodness!! At least the party at the White House is still on...
Motown party at the White House

Posted by: antisocialist at February 24, 2011 01:01 PM (Rwudm)

39 Never let a crisis get in the way of a party.

Posted by: Ronster at February 24, 2011 01:04 PM (rzuJR)

40 Anyone have a clue who shot Quadafi? Was it Colonel Mustard in the Billiard Room with the Revolver.

If it is true, I got money on his kids doing it.

Posted by: MSM at February 24, 2011 01:04 PM (WkuV6)

41 If we're fortunate and Daffy really has been shuffled involuntarily off this mortal coil then maybe his successor will be named John Doe or something similarly easy to spell.

Posted by: joncelli at February 24, 2011 01:04 PM (RD7QR)

42 As if we care?

signed, the Honey Badgers

Posted by: Doc Rochester at February 24, 2011 01:05 PM (rmzX/)

And did somebody already mention this? I ain't been 'round lately. FoxNews:

The FBI arrests 20-year-old Saudi Arabian college student in Texas suspected of planning a terrorist attack using chemical explosives, allegedly targeting President Bush's Dallas home.

Posted by: Mama AJ at February 24, 2011 01:05 PM (XdlcF)

44 _{What I could never figure out was why he and Michael Jackson wore the same uniform?

What the fuck kind of army was that anyway?}

Posted by: ontherocks at February 24, 2011 01:08 PM (HBqDo)

45 Meanwhile U.S. citizens are waiting on a freaking ferry boat delayed by bad weather, courtesy of Hillary and Barry ( aka frick and frack).

Posted by: jjshaka at February 24, 2011 01:08 PM (is8XH)

46 Thank God for President Obama and his foreign policy strategy. See, he has solved both the Libya problem and rising gas prices in a matter of days !!!!!!

Posted by: Jimmy Genttemann at February 24, 2011 01:10 PM (SZy+Y)

47 It's only a flesh wound.

Posted by: The Black Knight at February 24, 2011 01:11 PM (pUO5u)

48 o teh noes!1!

Posted by: trailortrash at February 24, 2011 01:11 PM (zB1JW)

49 Dominos? Which one's next?

Posted by: ParisParamus at February 24, 2011 01:11 PM (bgSjf)

50 Actually, the rumors are pretty useful. The more they circulate, the more pressure on Qaddafi to come onto TV and possibly even into the open -- and the more chance of pinning down his exact location for the rebels to converge upon.

Posted by: stuiec at February 24, 2011 01:11 PM (JuWS+)

_{What the fuck kind of army was that anyway?}

A swish army? Some people think thats sexual, but thats not sexual.

Posted by: Inspector Cleuseau at February 24, 2011 01:12 PM (Q5+Og)

52 [[cleaned-up]]

Posted by: wildwood at February 24, 2011 01:15 PM (VSWPU)

53 I salute the Moon Over Parador reference. Keep the 1980s cultural references alive or the terrorists win. Or I feel old and college chicks won't look at me. One of those two things will happen and each is too horrible to contemplate.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at February 24, 2011 01:17 PM (QcFbt)

Perhaps justice for the Lockerbie victims.

Posted by: madamex at February 24, 2011 01:21 PM (ice9D)

55 he's not dead, he's just sleeping... very soundly.

Posted by: Sgt. Batguano at February 24, 2011 01:22 PM (ehKDD)

56 or perhaps in a fugue...

Posted by: Sgt. Batguano at February 24, 2011 01:23 PM (ehKDD)

57 You didn't hear it from me, but I have it on good authority that LeBron James will be going to the Florida 'Heat'.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at February 24, 2011 01:25 PM (g7hbH)

58
What the fuck kind of army was that anyway?

Same one as Cap'n Crunch apparently.
(Yeah, I know. He was actually in the Navy)

Posted by: Gunslinger at February 24, 2011 01:25 PM (Zi+FQ)

59 Assassin # 1-- "How will we know it's Quadaffy?" Assassin # 2 -- "When you open the tent flap, the goat will be on top."

Posted by: Shoppy at February 24, 2011 01:27 PM (uKYSd)

60 61
What the fuck kind of army was that anyway?

Same one as Cap'n Crunch apparently.
(Yeah, I know. He was actually in the Navy)

In the Navy! FAAAAAABULOUS!

Posted by: The Village People at February 24, 2011 01:28 PM (bxvFd)

61 "Canned announcement"; reminds of that Dana Carvey SNL skit where he was doing an impression of Tom Brokaw and doing a bunch of pre-news stories before he went on vacation. Each take he was doing was a different announcement of some different way that Gerald Ford died. Funny stuff.

Read:
http://tinyurl.com/yn9ae7

Posted by: Joe at February 24, 2011 01:28 PM (y8Anu)

62 Rumors: Qadaffy Shot

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at February 24, 2011 01:28 PM (61b7k)

63 Same one as Cap'n Crunch apparently.
Posted by: Gunslinger at February 24, 2011 05:25 PM (Zi+FQ)

The Cap'n and the Colonel had a lot in common. They both made a little rank early on and then..... both their careers inexplicably stalled.

Posted by: ontherocks at February 24, 2011 01:30 PM (HBqDo)

64 He is an ex-dictator; he is, no more.

Posted by: teh Wind at February 24, 2011 01:31 PM (upRMs)

i call dibs on his bodyguards

and if you are stalking the site T, i give a damn....they are mine!!

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 24, 2011 01:33 PM (pYurd)

66 The Libyans are just angry that Doc Brown sold them pinball machine parts instead of plutonium.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at February 24, 2011 01:40 PM (YmPwQ)

67 But, as this type of rumor can be devastating, Qadaffy has a huge interest in appearing on TV and dispelling it, so the longer he waits on that, the likelier it is it's true. Brilliant suggestion, Ace! It's just a little hard to appear on TV to make an announcement, with ten .45 caliber slugs in my head, asshole!

Posted by: Zombie Ka-Daffy at February 24, 2011 01:40 PM (tJjm/)

68 This special edition of the dead pool has been brought to you by: Ace Movers. The number one rule in moving is knowing when to move. Before gunfire erupts qualifies

Posted by: Blue Hen at February 24, 2011 01:41 PM (R2fpr)

69 Ace - didn't you call the Saudi's pumping more oil to make up for their welfare programs yesterday? Wow, it only took 24 hours!

Posted by: Robin at February 24, 2011 01:51 PM (VY112)

70 Does that mean that his bimbo is available. Yousur

Posted by: Meddler at February 24, 2011 01:54 PM (3u6Tl)

71 Well, this sure puts a little skip in my step.

Posted by: Paul Anka's Honey Badger at February 24, 2011 02:07 PM (qwK3S)

72 17 15 I. Say. It's. Wabbit Season!

Posted by: Qhadaffy Duck at February 24, 2011 04:45 PM (QKKT0)

HASSAN CHOP!

Posted by: Hassan at February 24, 2011 04:47 PM (PReJ3)

When I say 'whoa', I MEAN 'WHOA'!!!!!!!

Posted by: Bill H at February 24, 2011 02:10 PM (q8CmE)

73 Is there DNA confirmation?

Shit, you could any hobo in a fez and his likeness to K-Daffy would be uncanny.

Posted by: Fritz at February 24, 2011 02:45 PM (/8mBu)

74 Can we all come to some kind of agreement as to how to spell his name? I don't care if it's Kookdafy, just some consistency.

Posted by: Stan at February 24, 2011 03:15 PM (dSHKh)

75 Does this mean his speech is finally over?

If he's dead, can we get his brain and study it?

Posted by: Double Ply, wannabe MD at February 24, 2011 04:56 PM (ezdtY)

76 Ok then, I get first dibs on his brain!!!!

(He probably has a parasite. Thanks, Dr House!)

Posted by: Double Ply, wannabe MD at February 24, 2011 04:59 PM (ezdtY)

77 Down in Lagos Nigeria wealthy Nigerians used to guard their compound with tribesman from Benin and the Ivory Coast who used poison tipped spears and arrows. I hope some bowman did this booger in. And that the poison is sorta slow acting.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at February 24, 2011 05:02 PM (3ESDJ)

Back from the dead, assholes!

*fires into the crowd while flying around with his rocket pack*

*ignites lightsaber*

Uh-oh, Mohammar's got a lightsaber

*ignite*

...two....

*slashes people in the crowd as they flee*

red and blue make purple rain!!!!

*holds lightsabers together and stands in the shower of sparks*

*spots fleeing protestor*

Uh-oh, he's getting away....

*looks at wrist*

Wait? What's this button that says "long range missile"? Do you think? He couldn't possibly....

*fires missile, detonating protestor*

Oh-ho-ho-ho...the quarterback is toast!

Posted by: Mohammar Khaddafy in Boba Fett armor at February 24, 2011 05:13 PM (xy9wk)

79 Khaddafy shot? Oswald acted alone.

Trust me.

Posted by: The man on the grassy knoll at February 24, 2011 06:37 PM (ZTn9N)

80 Switzerland considers former president Bush a war criminal

Posted by: Meg Mass at February 24, 2011 07:52 PM (f4Ndo)

The UN needs to call on Lionel Richie to intervene.

For many years he has served as Qadaffi's court entertainer and ambassador from America. Can't he be persuaded to visit his terrorist pal now that America and the world need him??!

Obama could throw him a WH gig by way of thanks.

Posted by: Sail On at February 25, 2011 02:56 AM (d7Px0)

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