July 15, 2011
— LauraW Chicks dig songwriters. The sensitive wordsmith type, you know. Quite appealing.
Plus, there's a chance you'll be the subject of the next My Sharona or Come On Eileen, which is supernifty.
Authorities say that when a Pennsylvania woman complained that her songwriter boyfriend [Jason Banks] had never written a song about her, he choked her and hit her in the face.
She was jealous because he had written songs about his previous girlfriends; Shut Up Diane, and I Don't Want To Hear Your Shit, Lisa.
Posted by: LauraW at
05:22 AM
| Comments (264)
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.
Posted by: Jean at July 15, 2011 05:26 AM (WkuV6)
Posted by: Chuck Z at July 15, 2011 05:26 AM (Ig+B0)
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at July 15, 2011 05:30 AM (LH6ir)
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at July 15, 2011 05:31 AM (jx2j9)
Posted by: no good deed at July 15, 2011 05:31 AM (mjR67)
I'm sorry, but the stupid is strong with both of them.
And her family should look him up and kick the crap out of him.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 05:32 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Olivia Newton John at July 15, 2011 05:33 AM (mjR67)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 15, 2011 05:35 AM (UlUS4)
She was jealous because he had written songs about his previous girlfriends; Shut Up Diane, and I Don't Want To Hear Your Shit, Lisa.
Posted by: LauraW. at 09:22 AMHeh.
Always wondered which girls inspired these lovely tributes from Weird Al:
One More Minute: http://tinyurl.com/6egoq2x
I Was Only Kidding: http://tinyurl.com/ygbdwjh
Posted by: there's something in my eye *snif* at July 15, 2011 05:36 AM (whMsz)
I got a tune for you. It's mostly percussion.
Posted by: Zombie Ike Turner at July 15, 2011 05:36 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 15, 2011 05:37 AM (UlUS4)
Posted by: Van "I'm sick of taking your crap" Morrison at July 15, 2011 05:38 AM (DrWcr)
Posted by: Procol harem at July 15, 2011 05:38 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 15, 2011 05:38 AM (UlUS4)
IKE BEATS TINA TO DEATH
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 15, 2011 09:37 AM (UlUS4)
Always the High Road for the NY Post
Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 15, 2011 05:39 AM (84oau)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 15, 2011 05:40 AM (UlUS4)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 15, 2011 05:40 AM (UlUS4)
Boys who hit girls deserve no better- and really far, far worse.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 05:40 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 05:45 AM (Vqush)
Boys who hit girls deserve no better- and really far, far worse.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 09:40 AM (8y9MW)
Anyone who hits another person in that manner deserves worse. Add 20 years to that story and Ike would have done major prison time for what he did.
Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 15, 2011 05:46 AM (84oau)
I love the part where the family says he's not a criminal, he's just been "plagued by paranoid schizophrenia for years."
I'm sorry, that might explain why he's a criminal, but it makes him no less a criminal.
Crime isn't so much concerned with motivation as with action. Juries like "motive," but motive certainly isn't necessary to prove the crime in the first place.
Which is why I despise the Insanity defense.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 05:47 AM (8y9MW)
I love how they say he's been suffering from paranoid-schizophrenia like that's some sort of reason for leniency. For me, that just bolsters the argument that he needs to be put away before he succeeds in hurting someone.
Posted by: mpurinTexas supports Rick Perry, bitch at July 15, 2011 05:47 AM (OonVm)
Posted by: Larry Dickman at July 15, 2011 05:47 AM (u2rWt)
Posted by: Truman North at July 15, 2011 05:49 AM (K2wpv)
And I still say her friends and family should have looked him up and made sure he was confined to a wheelchair for several years.
I'm an old-fashioned Texas Boy. Boy's don't get to hit girls. It's just one of the rules. The first guy who hits my baby girl (if any guy is that stupid once she starts dating) is going to find that out the hard way.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 05:49 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Trollie McTrollisson at July 15, 2011 05:49 AM (84oau)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 09:49 AM (8y9MW)
More power to you. People in this country have become to dependent on the government to solve problems.
Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 15, 2011 05:52 AM (84oau)
Posted by: Trollie McTrollisson
I thought he died at the end of his life?
Posted by: Procol harem at July 15, 2011 05:52 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 05:52 AM (Vqush)
Posted by: Douchey McDoucherson at July 15, 2011 05:53 AM (6wTTZ)
HEY...that's what LOL means??
...how about “Put It In Your Mouth” by Akinyele
Posted by: beedubya at July 15, 2011 05:53 AM (AnTyA)
Posted by: Marmo the Greater at July 15, 2011 05:54 AM (InrkQ)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 09:49 AM (8y9MW)
I think there's a rule about girls no chopping off a boy's wang and putting it down a garbage disposal too, but alas, society has collapsed.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 15, 2011 05:55 AM (FkKjr)
LOL. Boosting the self-esteem of metro-sexuals everywhere.
Posted by: Retread at July 15, 2011 05:56 AM (G+7cD)
Posted by: Kal Penn at July 15, 2011 05:56 AM (9hSKh)
....It's a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, put in a blender, force fed through a goose and shat out in a wind tunnel
Just who the eff is this guy we have as POTUS????
Posted by: beedubya at July 15, 2011 05:56 AM (AnTyA)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 15, 2011 05:57 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: Cat Stephens at July 15, 2011 05:58 AM (Ig+B0)
DonÂ’t Make Me Smack You, Louise:
You want a little sweet romance?
Well, how about an ambulance,
A stretcher, and an ER nurse?
Now open up your goddam purse.
I need your cash, your car, and beer...
Um... canÂ’t you tell IÂ’m joking here?
IÂ’m begging, baby, from my knees:
Put down that Ruger please, Louise.
Posted by: lyle at July 15, 2011 05:59 AM (/0D5i)
Well, yes, there is. But since the rule "Boys don't get to hit girls" trumps the rule "Girls don't get drug their husbands and cut off their wang," he'll have to git his mother and any sisters or female cousins to beat her up.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 05:59 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Kal Penn at July 15, 2011 09:56 AM (9hSKh)
It was his career that was dead at the end of Hudson Hawk. Also, Soylent Green is people.
Posted by: Trollie McTrollisson at July 15, 2011 05:59 AM (84oau)
Posted by: beedubya
He is who I tell him to be. Unfortunately that varies on what some libtard jackass force feeds me at the time.
Posted by: TOTUS at July 15, 2011 05:59 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: Bizarro Spoiler Dude at July 15, 2011 05:59 AM (FkKjr)
Posted by: Douchey McDoucherson at July 15, 2011 06:00 AM (6wTTZ)
Bullshit, next you're going to tell me Old Yeller dies.
Posted by: huerfano at July 15, 2011 06:00 AM (vwk4n)
Posted by: Marlee Maitlin at July 15, 2011 09:53 AM (Ig+B0)
Sounds like you have something to spit out, Marlee
Posted by: Trollie McTrollisson at July 15, 2011 06:00 AM (84oau)
Posted by: Bizarro Spoiler Dude
It ends with the scrolling of the credits.
Posted by: TOTUS at July 15, 2011 06:01 AM (6rX0K)
It was his career that was dead at the end of Hudson Hawk.
It was pining for the fjords.
Posted by: huerfano at July 15, 2011 06:02 AM (vwk4n)
That's all I'm sayin'.
Posted by: Anna Graham at July 15, 2011 06:02 AM (wOaLi)
Bullshit, next you're going to tell me Old Yeller dies.
Posted by: huerfano at July 15, 2011 10:00 AM (vwk4n)
Or that they really landed back on Earth
Posted by: Trollie McTrollisson at July 15, 2011 06:03 AM (84oau)
Posted by: Douche McSpoiler at July 15, 2011 06:03 AM (JxMoP)
Are you the lyle that makes it dangerous to read Tim Blair's comment section while drinking coffee?
Posted by: Retread at July 15, 2011 06:03 AM (G+7cD)
It was his career that was dead at the end of Hudson Hawk.
It was pining for the fjords.
Posted by: huerfano at July 15, 2011 10:02 AM (vwk4n)
Pining for the fjords? If he wasn't nailed to the perch, he'd be pushing up the daisies!
Posted by: Norwegian Blue - Beautiful Plumage! at July 15, 2011 06:03 AM (DrWcr)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 15, 2011 06:04 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 06:04 AM (Vqush)
Posted by: Douchey McDoucherson at July 15, 2011 06:05 AM (6wTTZ)
Posted by: Teddy Pendergrass, BITCH at July 15, 2011 09:32 AM (UvEsG)
I loved Teddy Bear. I don't even care that he was discovered wearing wimmins' clothing in that tragic car accident. If people would just listen to "Turn Out the Lights," there would be no need for sekshul meds.
Posted by: RushBabe at July 15, 2011 06:05 AM (Ew27I)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 15, 2011 10:04 AM (9hSKh)
You left out the most important part. That it was Neville Longbottom not Harry who was to defeat Voldemort. Dumbledore used Harry to protect Neville.
Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 15, 2011 06:05 AM (84oau)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 15, 2011 06:06 AM (lbo6/)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 06:07 AM (Vqush)
Posted by: jimmah at July 15, 2011 06:07 AM (TfRqk)
Posted by: Big McLargeHuge (F/K/A Large McBigHuge) at July 15, 2011 06:08 AM (a2u0o)
Posted by: Captain America at July 15, 2011 06:09 AM (GvYeG)
You left out the most important part. That it was Neville Longbottom not Harry who was to defeat Voldemort. Dumbledore used Harry to protect Neville.
By George, you're right! It all makes sense now!
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 15, 2011 06:09 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 06:09 AM (Vqush)
Posted by: Liam McSpoil at July 15, 2011 06:12 AM (DrWcr)
Posted by: AoSHQ's *second* worst commenter, DarkLord© at July 15, 2011 06:13 AM (GBXon)
Posted by: God at July 15, 2011 06:14 AM (6wTTZ)
Posted by: I wield the punch that makes my girlfriend sting at July 15, 2011 06:16 AM (6rX0K)
Can't watch TV / streamed video at work.
How's he doing?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:16 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Chris Brown at July 15, 2011 06:17 AM (zgZzy)
Posted by: Wayne Brady at July 15, 2011 06:17 AM (zgZzy)
let me rap about the House Committee on Oversight
and Government Reform
a platform to perform
for congressmen deformed
to brainstorm a hailstorm
pretending to inform
insisting that I conform
the judge bring a firestorm
and shit in their shrimp cocktails..... Waxman, how my ass taste?
Posted by: Roger 'romantical lyrisist' Clemens at July 15, 2011 06:17 AM (le5qc)
Posted by: Truman North at July 15, 2011 06:17 AM (K2wpv)
How's he doing?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 10:16 AM (8y9MW)
As soon as he came on, my husband called from Singapore so I missed the entire thing.
Posted by: Tami at July 15, 2011 06:18 AM (X6akg)
Posted by: Mel Gibson at July 15, 2011 06:19 AM (zgZzy)
He said the difference between the parties is about $6,2T over 10 years versus "maybe-- maybe" $1.5T "but the number keeps changing" for them.
Posted by: Truman North at July 15, 2011 06:19 AM (K2wpv)
No. That's just the last thing that happens.
How it ends is that the guy in the projection booth hits "Stop" and sets the first can (which is now just a DVD) back up.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:19 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: apb at July 15, 2011 06:19 AM (Ljbw1)
Posted by: SurferDoc at July 15, 2011 06:20 AM (STdkO)
What? You think your family is more important than my political voyeurism? I'm shocked.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:20 AM (8y9MW)
It's Hump Day, Hump Day, Hump Day!
Awesome post LauraW! You guys have me LOLing and spewing granola all over my laptop!
I just ran into the bathroom, cackling at hubby:
"Oh my gosh this one is really funny, "Morning Has Broken...Just Like Your Nose."
Poor guy was just trying to brush his teeth. I think I scared him!
Posted by: runningrn at July 15, 2011 06:20 AM (ihSHD)
Posted by: Haiku Guy at July 15, 2011 06:21 AM (J6F73)
Posted by: Countrysquire at July 15, 2011 10:19 AM (1hLHC)
THREAD WINNER
Posted by: Peter North at July 15, 2011 06:22 AM (K2wpv)
Exactly how badly do you have to screw up to introduce evidence which had explicitly been disallowed? Lawyer types?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:22 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Chuck Z at July 15, 2011 06:22 AM (Ig+B0)
Cantor talking
Crap, and Rush is off today. He has one of the lesser Marks filling in today, bleh! Although Steyn will be there on Monday and Tuesday!
Posted by: runningrn at July 15, 2011 06:22 AM (ihSHD)
No, I don't think she'll ever finish that- thus I was excluding the event from consideration.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:22 AM (8y9MW)
Oh my gosh, I'm going to have to get the canned air and spray out my keyboard! You guys are killing me!
Thanks! I could really use a good laugh now!
Posted by: runningrn at July 15, 2011 06:24 AM (ihSHD)
Posted by: JackStraw at July 15, 2011 06:24 AM (TMB3S)
Posted by: The Other Guy Who Didn't Read the Comments at July 15, 2011 06:24 AM (DoNKJ)
Hey, can anyone tell me how Deathly Hallows ends?
They run the credits.
Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at July 15, 2011 10:18 AM (OWjjx)
It ends with the scrolling of the credits.
Posted by: TOTUS at July 15, 2011 10:01 AM (6rX0K)
So good of you to join us. Simply fontabulous.
Posted by: I wield the punch that makes my girlfriend sting at July 15, 2011 06:24 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 06:25 AM (Vqush)
I'm on your side (this is nowhere near a bannable offense!) but asking you to knock it off, out of courtesy to the other Morons.
Posted by: lauraw at July 15, 2011 06:26 AM (rxf7y)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 10:20 AM (8y9MW)
I know, right! Sheesh...the nerve of him.
My son was on mid-deployment leave and spent it with him in Singapore. He just put him back on a plane heading back to Afghanistan....he was bummed.
Posted by: Tami at July 15, 2011 06:27 AM (X6akg)
.........
How was it? Richard Roeper, the columnist and movie reviewer is on afternoon radio here in Chicago now. He gave a very glowing review.. A+ he said.
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 15, 2011 06:27 AM (f9c2L)
Posted by: Countrysquire at July 15, 2011 06:27 AM (1hLHC)
Posted by: My Name is Fucking Luka at July 15, 2011 06:27 AM (6wTTZ)
"I used to love her,
but I had to kill her,
she b****ed so much,
she drove me nuts
and now I'm happier this way"
Romance and all, so yea, love hurts, biznitches
Posted by: The Other Guy Who Didn't Read the Comments at July 15, 2011 06:28 AM (DoNKJ)
Hey, I understand. The hardest part of my brother's deployment to Iraq was the end of his mid-deployment leave. It wasn't even as hard to send him in the first place as it was to get to see him for a day (he spent the rest of the time with my S-i-L, not surprisingly) and then for him to leave again.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:29 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 06:29 AM (Vqush)
....It's a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, put in a blender, force fed through a goose and shat out in a wind tunnel
Just who the eff is this guy we have as POTUS????
Posted by: beedubya at July 15, 2011 09:56 AM (AnTyA)
Jeebus. The further you get into that article, the kleepier it gets. Stanley Ann Dunham's mother, an instant bank VP in Hawaii after leaving the mainland, oversaw gray/black ops' $$ for the CIA? "Hippie" Stanley Ann is shown wearing the insignia of an elite French language institute? I'm only partially through it. My ADD gets in teh way.
Posted by: RushBabe at July 15, 2011 06:29 AM (Ew27I)
D*mn. That must mean it sucks.
My rule of thumb- the entertainment value of a movie is inversely proportional to the rating given by professional critics.
This rule rarely fails.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:30 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 06:31 AM (Vqush)
Breakfast Tastes Like Crap, Bernice:
Bernice, I warn you, change that dress,
And change it pronto, babe, unless
You really think somebody cares
If you fall down a flight of stairs.
And just who told you, you could buy
A brand new shovel? DonÂ’t you lie;
Plus, this ainÂ’t how I like my eggs...
Um... Bernice, I canÂ’t feel my legs.
Posted by: lyle at July 15, 2011 06:32 AM (/0D5i)
Posted by: Kenny Rogers' Psychotic Cousin at July 15, 2011 06:32 AM (CTLAJ)
Posted by: JackStraw at July 15, 2011 06:32 AM (TMB3S)
Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at July 15, 2011 06:33 AM (Vqush)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 10:29 AM (8y9MW)
Yeah, he's taking this harder than when we sent him off after the holidays. And from what my husband said, so is my son.
Posted by: Tami at July 15, 2011 06:33 AM (X6akg)
Someday we'll find it, the elbow connection . . .
The lovers, the dreamers, and your cheek . . .
Posted by: Paul Wllliams at July 15, 2011 06:34 AM (zgZzy)
All of sudden, an epiphany of some sort strikes various reporters and networks of varying importance and we've got a real crisis on our hands, a theocracy in the making and we just can't have that. So, yea, I've got no more Love Bites, Love Bleeds comments.
Posted by: The Other Guy Who Didn't Read the Comments at July 15, 2011 06:34 AM (DoNKJ)
Another photo, published in a Honolulu newspaper in 1959, shows Stanley Dunham escorted by uniformed U.S. Navy officers, greeting Barack Obama, Sr., as he arrived in Hawaii from Kenya.
Posted by: RushBabe at July 15, 2011 06:36 AM (Ew27I)
Posted by: USA at July 15, 2011 06:36 AM (6Cjut)
We'll let 'em both know I'm praying for them. They don't know me (and probably don't much care), but maybe it'll help.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:36 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Chrissie Hynde at July 15, 2011 06:37 AM (zgZzy)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 10:36 AM (8y9MW)
Thank you! They care and it will definitely help.
Posted by: Tami at July 15, 2011 06:37 AM (X6akg)
Exactly how badly do you have to screw up to introduce evidence which had explicitly been disallowed? Lawyer types?
I want to know, just out of professional curiosity, what you say to your boss after you've messed up that bad. Where do you even start?
Also, if it were me, I'd start checking under my car each moring for a "present" from the FBI agents who spent 4 years on this case. They've gotta be ready to kill over a cock-up like this.
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at July 15, 2011 06:38 AM (NfIvb)
Harry Potter spoiler:
The deathly hollows was published in 2007. Spoilers generally involve new information.
Posted by: JKRowling at July 15, 2011 06:38 AM (Ig+B0)
Posted by: JackStraw at July 15, 2011 06:38 AM (TMB3S)
Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at July 15, 2011 06:38 AM (6wTTZ)
I had to put her
Six feet under
And I can still hear her complain
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I knew I miss her
So I had to keep her
She's buried right in my back yard
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
She bitched so much
She drove me nuts
And now I'm happier this way
This only took me about six minutes to write, so yea, you could call me a hopeless romantic and all.
Posted by: Axl Rose at July 15, 2011 06:38 AM (DoNKJ)
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be stalking you
Posted by: SurferDoc at July 15, 2011 06:39 AM (STdkO)
Amy, what'choo wanna do?
I think, I could batter you,
for a while, then I'll write a song for,
you-hoo
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:39 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: Kenny Rogers' Psychotic Cousin at July 15, 2011 06:40 AM (CTLAJ)
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . .
A bullet wound in the left knee.
Posted by: Rihanna
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
two hearty shoves...
and a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:41 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 09:47 AM (8y9MW)
Exactly. Or are we supposed to just say, "Oh, he's a paranoid schizophrenic? Oh, then it's okay when he chokes people and hits them in the face. Never mind!"
Posted by: MWR at July 15, 2011 06:41 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: SFGoth at July 15, 2011 06:41 AM (dZ756)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 15, 2011 06:43 AM (UlUS4)
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:43 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: JackStraw at July 15, 2011 06:43 AM (TMB3S)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 15, 2011 06:44 AM (UlUS4)
A portent, perhaps, of impending doom?
Posted by: GW McLintock at July 15, 2011 06:44 AM (DoNKJ)
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:44 AM (6rX0K)
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . .
three wrenched joints
two hearty shoves...
and a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Rihanna at July 15, 2011 06:45 AM (zgZzy)
Really? I can't believe anyone actually gives a flying fuck whether Clemens is a juicer, let alone found it necessary to spend law enforcement and Congressional time on it.
Posted by: Waterhouse at July 15, 2011 06:45 AM (3JLPR)
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden shower!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:46 AM (6rX0K)
Is it sad that Rush's "off days" are when I plan my life?
Ha! I hear you sistah! I really hope I'm not working on Monday and Tuesday so I can listen to Steyn!
Posted by: runningrn at July 15, 2011 06:47 AM (ihSHD)
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Four backhand slaps,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Retread at July 15, 2011 06:47 AM (G+7cD)
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Seven stabs a plunging,
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden showers!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:47 AM (6rX0K)
If I were ever on a jury that had a defendant presenting the insanity defense, i would push as hard as I could to ignore the defense completely. It sometimes enrages me that the defense exists in the first place.
Now, before anyone (probably none of the Morons, but in case a troll is lurking) starts crying about "But they're sick!" or whatever: I say convict them, give them the maximum sentence, and then- once they're safely incarcerated- give them psychological treatment to try to help them. But it happens all too often that someone with Depression, or Paranoid Schitzophrenia, or Bi-polar disorder, or whatever gets their meds and starts feeling better, and then stops taking their meds because, "hey, I'm better." And then we're back to square one.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 15, 2011 06:47 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: runningrn
I'm gonna be your sledgehammer (if you don't shut the fuck up bitch).
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:49 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:50 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 15, 2011 06:50 AM (zgZzy)
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at July 15, 2011 06:51 AM (jx2j9)
Posted by: Waterhouse at July 15, 2011 06:51 AM (3JLPR)
Posted by: Jim Morrison at July 15, 2011 06:52 AM (CTLAJ)
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Eight slugs a tapping
Seven stabs a plunging,
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden showers!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Retread at July 15, 2011 06:53 AM (G+7cD)
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Ladies bleeding
Eight slugs a tapping
Seven stabs a plunging,
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden showers!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 15, 2011 06:54 AM (zgZzy)
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Lords leapin' (on the beyotch)
Ladies bleeding
Eight slugs a tapping
Seven stabs a plunging,
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden showers!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 06:55 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 15, 2011 06:56 AM (8Oe5v)
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Ten Lords a-beating
Nine ladies bleeding
Eight slugs a tapping
Seven stabs a plunging,
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden showers!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 15, 2011 06:56 AM (zgZzy)
OT, but this is an interesting blog post at MSNBC (*shudder*).
Afghan women rally, turning men red-faced with anger
1) Good on these women for rallying in protest of sexual harassment. It can't have been easy for any of them, and I'm sure they faced a backlash.
BUT
2) Read the blog and boggle at the parochial views of the blogger.
I watched with a smile as one woman, whose husband was standing next to a nearby fruit stall, read the leaflet she was handed. Furtively, she folded the paper and hid it up her sleeve. She caught my eye, blushed profusely and was seemingly riddled with guilt. I smiled and pressed my forefinger to my lips in an act of mutual and friendly conspiracy.
Yeah, until that woman goes home and gets the stuffing beaten out of her by her fruit seller husband for having the audacity to try and read. And heaven help her if her husband finds out she made eye contact with a man. Way to go, Sebastian Rich.
...mouths were agape with incredulity (and I suspect possibly jealousy from under swiftly passing burkas).
Or those "swiftly passing burkas" were in fact debating the best way to get the women convicted of public indecency and sentenced to death by stoning.
Posted by: MWR at July 15, 2011 06:56 AM (4df7R)
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Eleven snipers sniping
Lords leapin' (on the beyotch)
Ladies bleeding
Eight slugs a tapping
Seven stabs a plunging,
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden showers!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 15, 2011 06:57 AM (zgZzy)
Imagine a knuckle sandwich
Knocking out your teeth
Posted by: John Lennon at July 15, 2011 10:57 AMThat's an improvement.
Posted by: huerfano at July 15, 2011 06:58 AM (vwk4n)
Girl.... you'll be a victim.... soon
Ground.... under my hand
Girl.... you'll be in traction.... soon
Soon.... you'll hate all men.
Posted by: Neil Diamond at July 15, 2011 06:59 AM (Bul24)
Gimme three steps Gimme three steps mister Gimme three steps
Towards the door
And you won't see me no more
Posted by: Zombie Lynrd Skynrd at July 15, 2011 07:00 AM (neKzn)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 15, 2011 07:01 AM (zgZzy)
Posted by: Chuck Z at July 15, 2011 07:01 AM (Ig+B0)
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Twelve homeboys gunning (you down)
Eleven snipers sniping
Lords leapin' (on the beyotch)
Ladies bleeding
Eight slugs a tapping
Seven stabs a plunging,
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden showers!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 15, 2011 07:02 AM (zgZzy)
On the twelvth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....
Twelve Drumsticks to the temple
Eleven snipers sniping
Ten Lords leapin' (on the beyotch)
Nine Ladies bleeding
Eight slugs a tapping
Seven stabs a plunging,
Six goose egg bumps,
five golden showers!!
Four calls to 911,
Three French garrotes,
two hearty shoves,
And a bullet wound in the left knee!
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 07:03 AM (6rX0K)
Yikes! Barky is on time for his presser.
Yeah he probably has a tee time this morning and he's never late for those.............
Posted by: Boots at July 15, 2011 07:04 AM (neKzn)
There's something fundamentally wrong with us
Look at the bright side: if we're ever accused of a crime, we can plead insanity.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 15, 2011 07:04 AM (zgZzy)
Yikes! Barky is on time for his presser.
Yeah he probably has a tee time this morning and he's never late for those.............
Posted by: Boots
Or the news is even crappier. The quicker he does this, the quicker he's outta there.
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 07:05 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: JackStraw at July 15, 2011 07:05 AM (TMB3S)
Oh, geez
President just said "millionaires and billionaires" "unnecessary tax breaks for oil companies" and "unnecessary tax breaks for corporate jet owners" right in a row
Posted by: Truman North at July 15, 2011 07:05 AM (K2wpv)
There's something fundamentally wrong with us
Look at the bright side: if we're ever accused of a crime, we can plead insanity.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp
True.
It was lovely working with you. Though I doubt that the songwriting team of Wyatt Earp and Impure Prairie League of Evil will ever challenge Gilbert and Sullivan or the rest.
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 07:06 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: garrett at July 15, 2011 07:07 AM (QoILB)
Oh, geez
President just said "millionaires and billionaires" "unnecessary tax breaks for oil companies" and "unnecessary tax breaks for corporate jet owners" right in a row
Posted by: Truman North
I refuse to believe that even he is stupid enough to bitch about corporate jet owners again. No one wearing long pants is that petulant.
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 07:08 AM (6rX0K)
Posted by: RushBabe at July 15, 2011 07:09 AM (Ew27I)
Posted by: RushBabe
Satan himself wouldn't be so evil as to drag religion into political matters!
Posted by: Nancy Pelosi (D-Botox) at July 15, 2011 07:10 AM (6rX0K)
One poke over the eye sweet jesus one poke over the eye
Sittin downtown in a po-leece station
One poke over the eye
Posted by: Brewer and Shipley at July 15, 2011 07:10 AM (neKzn)
Posted by: Luther Ingram at July 15, 2011 07:13 AM (u2rWt)
Momma's got contusions on her neck and her chest
when Daddy comes home she's gonna get his best
She's been complaining all night,
About the Music he writes....
Posted by: garrett at July 15, 2011 07:15 AM (QoILB)
There's something fundamentally wrong with us
Posted by: Impure Prairie League of Evil at July 15, 2011 11:03 AM (6rX0K)
Judging by how screwed up the world is at this moment in time, I see this as a feature, not a bug. ^_~
Posted by: MWR at July 15, 2011 07:19 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: CoolCzech at July 15, 2011 07:31 AM (kUaEF)
Oh, Moscow girls I really knock them out,
they leave their teeth behind,
and the Ukraine girls make me scream and shout
That the damn bitch won't shut the fu-u-u-u-u-uck up
Posted by: j lenin at July 15, 2011 07:42 AM (Joerg)
John Wayne Bobbitt wrote a song, song too:
One girl makes you larger
And one girl makes you small
And the schlong that you were born with
Is now a penal-severed maul
Go ask Bobbitt
Now a half-inch tall.
Posted by: SFC MAC at July 15, 2011 07:51 AM (WB46i)
Posted by: SFC MAC at July 15, 2011 07:52 AM (WB46i)
Tommy had a passion for firearms,His confidence they really seemed to bolster, He bought a ninety dollar pistol for his Mar-Mar, She kept it in her little girlie holster
Sometimes on the weekends they'd be fighting, And Tommy thought his girl was telling lies. He thought that she was thumpin' with the bass player, Smoking all his dope and all his crystal...Meth
Then Tommy started suffering from delusions, After five nights without any sleep. He rammed his fist through Marla's bedroom window, He shoved his car keys through her dirty little teeth.
But Marla got her fingers on the trigger. She grabbed her little Tommy by the hair. The pistol was still smoking on the counter. The sirens were screaming through the air Scream on and on.
The Rugburns, The Ballad of Tommy & Marla, fyifwiw
Posted by: MD at July 15, 2011 08:05 AM (AGPJz)
Posted by: OxyCon at July 15, 2011 08:09 AM (Kmnf5)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 15, 2011 08:09 AM (WvXvd)
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, she's done been told twice..............
Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at July 15, 2011 10:25 AM (37uev)
Spike Jones "You always hurt the one your love"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRqWWRCT5Cs
Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at July 15, 2011 10:28 AM (37uev)
Jeff Dowder:
"In the blink of an eye,
I blackened her eye.
I feel bad, yes I do.
Don't interrupt,
When I'm workin' on my stuff,
Or I'll split your lip in Two."
Classic Phil Hendrie
Posted by: 666chevelle at July 15, 2011 12:13 PM (QjSgY)
Posted by: joe at July 15, 2011 12:37 PM (eHcwB)
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Poker Face?
Posted by: Chuck Z at July 15, 2011 05:26 AM (Ig+B0)