Ace of Spades HQ

October 26, 2011

Speed Thrills: Nearly-Naked Chick Leads Cops On 128 MPH Chase
— Ace

She was charged with three counts of Aggravated Haftin' To Be Uproared.

Authorities arenÂ’t sure where Â– or how Â– Erin Holdsworth, 28, of Hiram, started her night on Oct. 11. All they know is that it ended with a car chase down Route 422 that, at its fastest, reached 128 mph.
Officers also know that, when they found her, she was wearing nothing but fishnet stockings, g-string panties and a pair of high heels.
Police say Holdsworth was seen speeding, but refused to pull over. She instead led cops on the harrowing high-speed chase.

Spot the error:

WJW-TV reports that a docket filed at Chardon Municipal court lists Holdsworth as being charged with one count each of Â“OVI, refusing a blood alcohol content test, fleeing and alluding, criminal damaging, driving under a suspended license, speeding and reckless operation.Â”

I got the picture from this account, which disagrees with the first: It says the "fishnet" in question was not in the form of stockings, but a see-through top.

Either way.

Thanks to Monty.

Posted by: Ace at 01:22 PM | Comments (294)
Post contains 193 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Maybe she had to pee REALLY badly.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:24 PM (UlUS4)

2 And Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:25 PM (UlUS4)

3 Okay, which one of the 'ettes lives in Ohio?

Posted by: Cheri at October 26, 2011 01:25 PM (G+Wff)

4 Obligatory: I'd hit it.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:25 PM (AZGON)

5 Somedays it's good to be a cop!

Posted by: Arresting Officer at October 26, 2011 01:26 PM (Xm1aB)

6 I'DHI

Posted by: ParisParamus at October 26, 2011 01:26 PM (dij/b)

7 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at October 26, 2011 01:26 PM (8y9MW)

8 That link seems to be configured wrong, somehow.

Posted by: Grey Fox at October 26, 2011 01:26 PM (MSCON)

9 when they found her, she was wearing nothing but fishnet stockings, g-string panties and a pair of high heels. Resist we not much.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:27 PM (AZGON)

10 I'll represent her for free.

Posted by: Pro Boner at October 26, 2011 01:27 PM (Xm1aB)

11 Compare and contrast: Erin Holdsworth and Rachael the cosmetology student.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:27 PM (UlUS4)

12 I blame Will Folks.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:27 PM (AZGON)

13 And what's the story wit the photo? What is that background?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:28 PM (UlUS4)

14 Maybe the cops didn't give her a blood test because they got their "blow test" at the scene.

Posted by: Soona - haftin to puke at October 26, 2011 01:28 PM (fexDM)

15 She was just upset about a camera shadow in Deep Space 9.

Posted by: nickless at October 26, 2011 01:28 PM (MMC8r)

16 Look, if I'm forced to drive through Cleveland, I'd go 128 mph as well.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at October 26, 2011 01:29 PM (pLTLS)

17 Third time's the charm gentlemen, and when I say that I really mean the Barak Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable sad failure.

Posted by: Max Power at October 26, 2011 01:29 PM (q177U)

18 I blame shaved bush.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:29 PM (UlUS4)

19 Compare and contrast: Erin Holdsworth and Rachael the cosmetology student. One made her life a dangerous, life-threatening disaster that holds no hope for her future, and the other likes driving drunk and naked.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:29 PM (AZGON)

20 Is it Friday? Did I sleep through three days?

Posted by: sTevo at October 26, 2011 01:30 PM (VMcEw)

21 Good thing the coppers got her before I did!

Posted by: Bitch Pimp at October 26, 2011 01:30 PM (Xm1aB)

22 White, drunk and naked. I am going to go ahead and assume she was coming from OWS.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at October 26, 2011 01:30 PM (C2//T)

23 No full length picture? Didn't happen.

Posted by: Barbarian at October 26, 2011 01:31 PM (EL+OC)

24 128 miles an hour? Thats faster than Steven Weber's thesaurus.

Posted by: Max Power at October 26, 2011 01:31 PM (q177U)

25 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at October 26, 2011 01:31 PM (fyOgS)

26 Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 05:29 PM (AZGON) I thought I could induce people into witty comparison riddle answers, ie: One's a cunning runt, the other's a...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:31 PM (UlUS4)

27 Cunning Stunt Bonus?

Posted by: DarkLord© sez Obama is a stuttering clusterf--- of a miserable failure
Oh, and F--- Nevada! at October 26, 2011 01:31 PM (GBXon)

28 Wonder what she was 'alluding' to?

Probably meant eluding. Or, there's a whole subtext to her arrest we aren't privy to.

Posted by: GruntDoc at October 26, 2011 01:31 PM (j2pwv)

29 she definitely fits the ace of spades lifestyle

Posted by: Village Idiot at October 26, 2011 01:32 PM (utXSy)

30 Curse you, JJ!

Posted by: DarkLord© sez Obama is a stuttering clusterf--- of a miserable failure
Oh, and F--- Nevada! at October 26, 2011 01:32 PM (GBXon)

31 "fleeing and alluding"? Did she allude to the officers proclivities? Or did she perhaps attempt to 'elude' capture?

Posted by: Pitt at October 26, 2011 01:32 PM (f7ylG)

32 Maybe she had a Rick Perry sex tape wrapped inside Obama's birth certificate.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:32 PM (UlUS4)

33 Cupid stunt?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at October 26, 2011 01:32 PM (1Jaio)

34 One made her life a dangerous, life-threatening disaster that holds no hope for her future, and the other likes driving drunk and naked. Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 05:29 PM (AZGON) They're both rough as shit to look at.

Posted by: CAC at October 26, 2011 01:32 PM (JEVge)

35 What was her ride?

Posted by: boniface ballers at October 26, 2011 01:32 PM (bPbwB)

36 One is a pissy drunk, the other is a dizzy punk.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:32 PM (AZGON)

37 I texted her.

Posted by: Will Folks at October 26, 2011 01:33 PM (nj1bB)

38 She only looks good in comparison to Racael.

Posted by: steevy at October 26, 2011 01:33 PM (fyOgS)

39 36 What was her ride? Posted by: boniface ballers at October 26, 2011 05:32 PM (bPbwB) A Chevy Volt powered by the LOVEMASTER, baby! YEAH!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:33 PM (UlUS4)

Just imagine if the pictures between this and the last Ace post (OWS cosmetologist) were swapped.

Posted by: wooga at October 26, 2011 01:33 PM (vjyZP)

41 I don't see a problem here.

Posted by: Lindsey Lohan at October 26, 2011 01:33 PM (GBXon)

I'm sure some of you morons can come up with some #Occupy jokes over this one.

Posted by: Max Power at October 26, 2011 01:34 PM (q177U)

43 Another bright future destroyed by the AoS Lifestyle.

Posted by: toby928© at October 26, 2011 01:34 PM (GTbGH)

44 One's fast and furious, the other is slow and uncurious?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:34 PM (UlUS4)

45 What's "fleeing and alluding"? Both reports say that.

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 26, 2011 01:35 PM (mjSSA)

46 #OccupyTheShiftKnob

Posted by: Barbarian at October 26, 2011 01:35 PM (EL+OC)

47 #occupymydreamgirl

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:35 PM (4CSeG)

48 The only thing that would have made this better is if she had been riding a motorcycle.

Posted by: toby928© at October 26, 2011 01:35 PM (GTbGH)

49 46 The police are as dumb as the rest of our society.

Posted by: steevy at October 26, 2011 01:35 PM (fyOgS)

And I imagine that after she was finally caught, her beaming personality was both pithy and charming.

Posted by: Soona - haftin to puke at October 26, 2011 01:35 PM (fexDM)

51 Allusion is a crime in Ohio?

Posted by: real joe at October 26, 2011 01:35 PM (xovnt)

52 41 Just imagine if the pictures between this and the last Ace post (OWS cosmetologist) were swapped. Posted by: wooga at October 26, 2011 05:33 PM (vjyZP) AAH! Eye bleach! That's like envisioning Helen Thomas doing Barney Frank with a strap-on.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:35 PM (UlUS4)

53 WJW-TV reports that a docket filed at Chardon Municipal court lists Holdsworth as being charged with one count each of Â“OVI, refusing a blood alcohol content test, fleeing and alluding, criminal damaging, driving under a suspended license, speeding and reckless operation.Â”

It will be up to the prosecutors will decide whether to add charges of felonious boob-flapping and sweater puppy endangerment to the case.

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at October 26, 2011 01:36 PM (QKKT0)

54 That's Daryl Hannah!

Posted by: real joe at October 26, 2011 01:36 PM (xovnt)

55 Yeah, the police definitely acted stupidly when they pulled her over.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:36 PM (UlUS4)

56 55 That's Daryl Hannah! Posted by: real joe at October 26, 2011 05:36 PM (xovnt) More like Darrel Hammond in drag.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:36 PM (UlUS4)

57 "While in the police cruiser, deputies said she kicked the passenger side window of the car out of its track."

Classy.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 26, 2011 01:37 PM (L8TIZ)

58 Is there a specific complaint here? sounds like a regular tuesday evening for a 28 year old. I am a little suspicious of the claim that she was going 128 mph, kph maybe; have you driven on the roads in cleveland. I would guess the biggest problem is the "alluding" - what was she alluding to exactly?

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 01:37 PM (loM0R)

She only looks good in comparison to Racael.

I don't know, this one looks like she might clean up well. The other one, no chance.

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at October 26, 2011 01:37 PM (JxMoP)

60 Wait, this was Ohio. Maybe she wasn't drunk, only dizzy after all the spinning coming out of the labor union photo-op.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:37 PM (AZGON)

61 WJW-TV reports that a docket filed at Chardon Municipal court lists Holdsworth as being charged with one count each of Â“OVI

More like one count of "oy vey!", amirite!?

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 26, 2011 01:38 PM (mjSSA)

62 #OccupyHerPanties

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:38 PM (AZGON)

63
Wasn't Ace on vacation around that time?

Posted by: YIKES! at October 26, 2011 01:38 PM (70TBD)

64 Wait, this was Ohio. Maybe she wasn't drunk, only dizzy after all the spinning coming out of the labor union photo-op.

Or maybe she woke up, said, "What the Hell? How am I in Cleveland?" and decided to leave as quickly as possible.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at October 26, 2011 01:39 PM (8y9MW)

65 WTF?! That's MY 'hood...take 422 to work every day. And this is the first I've heard about it. There's a lot of drunk driving in these parts...one hit my wife and killed my ma-in-law.

Posted by: Jeffrey Quick at October 26, 2011 01:39 PM (g9neE)

66 Before I forget it, Mitt sux.

Posted by: maddogg at October 26, 2011 01:39 PM (OlN4e)

67 63 #OccupyHerPanties Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 05:38 PM (AZGON) 10,000 crabs cannot be wrong.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:39 PM (UlUS4)

68 Grab onto that one and tell her that her sister is twice the lay she is. Rodeo time!

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:39 PM (4CSeG)

69 Was alcohol involved?

Posted by: toby928© at October 26, 2011 01:39 PM (GTbGH)

70 I'm pretty sure I made out with that chick at Dino's Rock Box in 1999.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at October 26, 2011 01:40 PM (XE2Oo)

71 the good news is she was still able to make our dinner date.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 01:40 PM (loM0R)

72 She looks and, according to the report, acted like she voted for the SCOAMF.

Posted by: Soona - haftin to puke at October 26, 2011 01:40 PM (fexDM)

73 62 WJW-TV reports that a docket filed at Chardon Municipal court lists Holdsworth as being charged with one count each of Â“OVI More like one count of "oy vey!", amirite!? Posted by: Waterhouse at October 26, 2011 05:38 PM (mjSSA) with an additional count of fartrunkiner shiksa courvah.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:40 PM (UlUS4)

74 I'm pretty sure I made out with that chick at Dino's Rock Box in 1999. You too?

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:41 PM (AZGON)

75 Pretty sure that one is still after me for child support.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:41 PM (4CSeG)

76 I seem to recall a Morris Day and the Time song called "Fishnets."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:41 PM (UlUS4)

77 Does anyone want to bet that she's probably the daughter of a rich lawyer?

Posted by: Soona - haftin to puke at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (fexDM)

78 O/T: Rick Perry aide says yes to Michigan debate, but maybe not beyond

Posted by: Do.I.Make.My.Self.Clear?!!11!! at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (B0LGd)

79 I like all those charges. It is the typical shit they do now. Charge the "accused" now with everything they can think up or makeup. 50 years ago she would have been charged with DUI and failure to stop for a blue light. With those charges you don't need the rest of all of that crap.

Posted by: Vic at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (YdQQY)

80 76 a girl at dinos?

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (loM0R)

81 I wish I could watch the dash cam tape. You know thats a winner.

Posted by: maddogg at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (OlN4e)

82 Flipping lightweight!!!

Posted by: Amy Winehouse from the Crypt at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (D93tX)

83 OWS just called and said that the Wall Street Jews made her do it.

Posted by: soots at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (Y4TdB)

84 A face like that says pimples on the butt. Meth-mouth in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Posted by: Dang at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (BbX1b)

85 No tellin' how many years in the joint she would be facing had she spoken metaphorically.

Posted by: Dave at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (Xm1aB)

86 Occupying a police car

Posted by: phoenixgirl at October 26, 2011 01:42 PM (q9Vqn)

87 Maybe her allusion was to diffuse the situation.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at October 26, 2011 01:43 PM (2Oas0)

88 one count each of Â“OVI, refusing a blood alcohol content test, fleeing and alluding, For a moment I read "alluring," and immediately thought "They arrested her for being a prick tease?"

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:43 PM (AZGON)

89 #OccupyBettyFord's

Posted by: nickless at October 26, 2011 01:43 PM (MMC8r)

90 A face like that says pimples on the butt.

I'll check tonight.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:43 PM (4CSeG)

91 Was alcohol involved?
Posted by: toby928Â© at October 26, 2011 05:39 PM

You are one cynical bastard. When a nice girl can't drive down a country lane at nearly 130mph damn near naked then the communists have won.

Posted by: patroit at October 26, 2011 01:43 PM (ay6+/)

92 Somewhere, some guy is tired of putting up with her shit.

Posted by: Dave at October 26, 2011 01:44 PM (Xm1aB)

93 Can't wait to find out she's somehow related to a distant 3rd cousin, twice removed, of John Boehner.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:44 PM (UlUS4)

94 "While in the police cruiser, deputies said she kicked the passenger side window of the car out of its track."

Mom?

Posted by: CUS--an AOS moron at October 26, 2011 01:44 PM (84pE9)

95 One other thing, I have no idea about this town in Ohio but I had a friend here in SC who had had similar charges made against him. High speed 110 mph, running a stop sign and failure to stop. It was all bogus crap. He was driving an international harvester scout.

The cops screwed up though, they pulled the same shit on the son of a State Senator a few days later and SLED shut them and their little racket down.

Posted by: Vic at October 26, 2011 01:45 PM (YdQQY)

96 What's "fleeing and alluding"? Both reports say that.

I thought that said "feeling and alluring." Shit.

Posted by: lonely cop at October 26, 2011 01:45 PM (BbX1b)

97 Damn straight. I do that myself, a couple of times a month. Can't say I look good in fishnet, though.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:45 PM (AZGON)

98 Friends don't let friends drive on gardisil

Posted by: phoenixgirl at October 26, 2011 01:45 PM (q9Vqn)

99 She looks like Ann Coulter on AoSHQ Lifestyle.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:45 PM (4CSeG)

100 Jason says you're all Statists for believing the cops on this. Obviously a woman should be able to drive as fast and as recklessly as she likes without being harassed by the police.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at October 26, 2011 01:45 PM (8y9MW)

101 She was instructed by the TSA to 'get her freak on.'

Posted by: nickless at October 26, 2011 01:45 PM (MMC8r)

102 96 bastard. you just made me do a spit-take all over my keyboard.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 01:45 PM (loM0R)

103 94 Somewhere, some guy is tired of putting up with her shit. Posted by: Dave at October 26, 2011 05:44 PM (Xm1aB) Opening scene of "The Longest Yard" but with a chick driving instead of Burt.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:46 PM (UlUS4)

104

@17 Look, if I'm forced to drive through Cleveland, I'd go 128 mph as well.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at October 26, 2011 05:29 PM (pLTLS)

-----------------------------------------------------

Absolutely. She was dressed for speed. Geauga County, drunks and nuts.

Posted by: Drillanwr at October 26, 2011 01:46 PM (z+Dxj)

105 I bet she was listening to Journey's Any Way You Want It turned up to Chinese 9 and smoking a Backwoods Sweet and Mild.

At least she will be in my dreams.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:47 PM (4CSeG)

106 Maybe she was late for a lesbian hookup with Rachel.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:47 PM (AZGON)

107 Somewhere, some guy is tired of pumping up with her shit. Posted by: Dave

You know it, bro!

Posted by: That fat kid popping a zit on his forearm at the mall food court at October 26, 2011 01:47 PM (BbX1b)

108

Damn straight. I do that myself, a couple of times a month. Can't say I look good in fishnet, though.

Did you enjoy making out with EoJ?

Posted by: fluffy at October 26, 2011 01:47 PM (4pSIn)

109

I like all those charges. It is the typical shit they do now. Charge the "accused" now with everything they can think up or makeup. 50 years ago she would have been charged with DUI and failure to stop for a blue light. With those charges you don't need the rest of all of that crap.

They're bargaining chips for the eventual plea deal. The state will agree to drop X, Y, and Z in exchange for a guilty plea on something else. At the end of the day she'll get community service and a big fine, the DA's office gets an easy addition to their conviction rate, and the defense attorney gets a nice paycheck.

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at October 26, 2011 01:47 PM (JxMoP)

110 Eluding

Posted by: phoenixgirl at October 26, 2011 01:47 PM (q9Vqn)

111 50 years ago she would have been charged with DUI and failure to stop for a blue light.

Nah. 50 years ago, the cop would've told her to get a shirt on, and be careful driving home. And try to slow down a little.

Posted by: CUS at October 26, 2011 01:48 PM (84pE9)

112 bastard. you just made me do a spit-take all over my keyboard. Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 05:45 PM

Well, dammit. I actually posted the same exact thing sat the article and it seems to have not been approved yet.

*Dons tinfoil hat*

Posted by: patroit in fishnets at October 26, 2011 01:48 PM (ay6+/)

113 Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 05:47 PM (4CSeG) Thin Lizzy, "Jailbreak." Once that Prius gets cranking, boy, watch out!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:48 PM (UlUS4)

114 @111 Justice , baby!

Posted by: Defense Lawyer at October 26, 2011 01:48 PM (Xm1aB)

115 Damn straight. I do that myself, a couple of times a month. Can't say I look good in fishnet, though. -- Did you enjoy making out with EoJ? A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:49 PM (AZGON)

116 sure she creates a lot of drama but you only need to know two things abuut her - golf ball, garden hose.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 01:49 PM (loM0R)

117 At the end of the day she'll get community service and a big fine, the DA's office gets an easy addition to their conviction rate, and the defense attorney gets a nice paycheck.

You say that like it's a good thing. Or at least like it's not a bad thing.

Throw her in jail for the speeding (reckless endangerment?) and failure to stop (or whatever they call it). The rest is stupid.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at October 26, 2011 01:49 PM (8y9MW)

118 Here's another account. She was in a 2002 Mazda 626, has two priors for OVI and this report also says fishnet tube top, not stockings.

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 26, 2011 01:49 PM (mjSSA)

119 The cops should have just left her alone. She was just uproarin'.

Posted by: Soona - haftin to puke at October 26, 2011 01:50 PM (fexDM)

120 Bizzaro Ann Coulter is pretty damn hawt. Fuck that little black dress noise. Gimme some fishnets!

And the song that was playing was Candy-O by the Cars.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:50 PM (4CSeG)

121 Early Halloween party?

Posted by: Max Wedge at October 26, 2011 01:50 PM (D93tX)

122 Put this woman on Top Gear, driving the reasonably priced sedan.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:50 PM (AZGON)

123 Aaron was alluding that he was a she and Ohio gets upoared about that shit

Posted by: phoenixgirl at October 26, 2011 01:50 PM (q9Vqn)

124 Did you enjoy making out with EoJ? Who wouldn't? I taste like bacon, scotch and bravery.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at October 26, 2011 01:50 PM (vzFJV)

125 @120 I'm trying to figure out which version is hotter.

Posted by: Dave at October 26, 2011 01:50 PM (Xm1aB)

126 I like bad, bad, bad girls.

Posted by: ZombieVoterRegistrar at October 26, 2011 01:51 PM (kUCIm)

127 "fleeing and alluding"? Did she allude to the officers proclivities?

I figure she attempted to excuse her conduct with reference to The Dukes of Hazard but mistakenly alluded to Andy of Mayberry.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 26, 2011 01:51 PM (Hx5uv)

128 Sounds to me like she wanted to "get some" and got the brush off. Hell hath no fury ...

Posted by: crosspatch at October 26, 2011 01:51 PM (AdYoA)

129 I could still fap to her as long as she doesn't have meth mouth.

Posted by: Do.I.Make.My.Self.Clear?!!11!! at October 26, 2011 01:51 PM (B0LGd)

130 I bet she was listening to Journey's Any Way You Want It turned up to Chinese 9 and smoking a Backwoods Sweet and Mild.

At least she will be in my dreams.
Posted by: sifty haftin

LOL! For reals! I don't know what the hell "Chinese 9" is, but for some reason, I like it!

Enlighten me, master.

Posted by: Dang at October 26, 2011 01:51 PM (BbX1b)

131 The prison lesbian sex will be amazing.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at October 26, 2011 01:51 PM (GKQDR)

132 Under Sharia, she wouldn't be driving at all!

Posted by: Hrothgar at October 26, 2011 01:52 PM (i3+c5)

133 And the song that was playing was Candy-O by the Cars.

Nah. Bad Habit--Offspring.

Posted by: CUS at October 26, 2011 01:52 PM (84pE9)

134 Romeo Void, "I Might Like You Better If We Slept Together," with 300W subwoofers in the trunk.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:52 PM (AZGON)

135 speed we much!

Posted by: joeindc44 at October 26, 2011 01:52 PM (QxSug)

136 SheÂ’s next scheduled to appear in Chardon Municipal Court at 10 a.m. on Nov. 2, according to the courtÂ’s website Ummm, since I live in CLE, I may have to attend that hearing....

Posted by: Max Wedge at October 26, 2011 01:53 PM (D93tX)

137 I'm guessing she was listening to Hall & Oates. Chicks dig 'em.

Posted by: Do.I.Make.My.Self.Clear?!!11!! at October 26, 2011 01:53 PM (B0LGd)

138 And she was listening to Meatloaf's "Bat out of Hell"...

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at October 26, 2011 01:53 PM (GKQDR)

139

They're bargaining chips for the eventual plea deal. The state will agree to drop X, Y, and Z in exchange for a guilty plea on something else. At the end of the day she'll get community service and a big fine, the DA's office gets an easy addition to their conviction rate, and the defense attorney gets a nice paycheck.

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at October 26, 2011 05:47 PM (JxMoP)

.....and a dynamite blow job.

Posted by: Soona - haftin to speed at October 26, 2011 01:53 PM (fexDM)

140 131 trust me, she was on the way to get some. she is a freakin' addict

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 01:53 PM (loM0R)

141 Depends on the size of the net.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:53 PM (4CSeG)

142 The ol' Women Behind Bars genre. Never gets old.

Posted by: soots at October 26, 2011 01:54 PM (BUcLz)

143 Probably jamming to Sammy Hagar's "I Can't Drive 55!"

Posted by: Dave at October 26, 2011 01:54 PM (Xm1aB)

144 I'm guessing she was listening to Hall & Oates. Chicks dig 'em. No, Enya. Definitely. "Orinoco Flow."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:54 PM (AZGON)

145 okay I give up, what does Chinese 9 mean?

Posted by: ace at October 26, 2011 01:54 PM (nj1bB)

146 Urgent. BY foreigner

Posted by: phoenixgirl at October 26, 2011 01:54 PM (q9Vqn)

147 142 well if it was meatloaf it certainly was not I would do anything for love because there is no way she won't do that

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 01:55 PM (loM0R)

148 Rebecca Black, Friday

Posted by: nickless at October 26, 2011 01:55 PM (MMC8r)

149 "Nearly-Naked Chick Leads Cops On 128 MPH Chase" Eh. The puppeh in the sidebar went 50 mph on top of a boxcar and she was as naked as the day her bitch mother gave birth to her and her 8 siblings.

Posted by: mike at October 26, 2011 01:55 PM (rN8vT)

150 She was in a 2002 Mazda 626, has two priors for OVI and this report also says fishnet tube top, not stockings.
Posted by: Waterhouse

I just saw an account that says fishtop tube net and nut stickers. WTF?

Posted by: Dang at October 26, 2011 01:55 PM (BbX1b)

151 Warren Zevon, "Lawyers, Guns and Money."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:56 PM (AZGON)

152 Enya or James Taylor. Possibly, "Shower the People".

Posted by: Do.I.Make.My.Self.Clear?!!11!! at October 26, 2011 01:56 PM (B0LGd)

153 okay I give up, what does Chinese 9 mean?

Don't know but it sounds cool.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 26, 2011 01:56 PM (9TXA3)

154 Meh. Just an average night.

Posted by: Nick Nolte at October 26, 2011 01:56 PM (usXZy)

155 How do you make a hormone?

Don't PAY HER!!!!!

Posted by: © Sponge at October 26, 2011 01:56 PM (UK9cE)

156 Hank's "Are You Ready for Some Football?"

Posted by: Dave at October 26, 2011 01:56 PM (Xm1aB)

157 Soundtrack - whatever song that is in "Planes Trains and Automobiles" where they're bombing down the road in the burnt-out K-car.

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 26, 2011 01:57 PM (mjSSA)

158 I hope her tires were properly inflated

Posted by: phoenixgirl at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (q9Vqn)

159 157 Enya or James Taylor. Possibly, "Shower the People". Posted by: Do.I.Make.My.Self.Clear?!!11!! at October 26, 2011 05:56 PM (B0LGd) Shower the People with Blue Frozen Airplane water!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (UlUS4)

160 the whole 2002 mazda 626 thing explains why she got arrested. she actually lost the cops until the engine fell out and they caught her hitchhiking.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (loM0R)

161

You say that like it's a good thing. Or at least like it's not a bad thing.

It's not a good thing; she should go to jail if she was driving that fast. Someone could very easily have been killed. It's just that I don't think she will actually be punished but instead have her wrist slapped. I am somewhat of a cynic when it comes to our legal system.

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (JxMoP)

162 okay I give up, what does Chinese 9 mean?

really really really loud. Like redneck loud where the car speakers are crackling and you're too drunk to notice loud.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (4CSeG)

163 Chinese 9 . You don't wanna know .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (npr0X)

164 okay I give up, what does Chinese 9 mean?

Don't know but it sounds cool.
Posted by: lowandslow

Hell yeah! I'm startin' a band called Chinese 9!

Posted by: Dang at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (BbX1b)

165 yous hear the clip of that fool TX congresswoman SJL remark about Gov Perry's problem with seriousness?

Posted by: soots at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (j7IJ7)

166 Born to be Wild. Jeez, so obvious.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (UlUS4)

167 I think "Chinese 9" is in the same realm as EoJ's classic "bozack deep," as in "I was bozack deep in her ham wallet."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 01:58 PM (AZGON)

168 I couldn't be more proud to be a Buckeye! Go Bucks! O-H...

Posted by: Rod at October 26, 2011 01:59 PM (ORbz7)

169 Holiday Ro-o--o-oad....

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 01:59 PM (UlUS4)

170 This woman should help me find camera shadows in DS9 episodes.

She can even help me make my bed and wear tin-foil hats while we LARP.

Posted by: pokesomi at October 26, 2011 01:59 PM (UR5vq)

171 I'm harder'n Chinese algebra.

Posted by: fluffy at October 26, 2011 01:59 PM (4pSIn)

172

"Nah. 50 years ago, the cop would've told her to get a shirt on, and be careful driving home. And try to slow down a little."

You forgot: ...and have a nice day.

Posted by: Butwhatdoiknow at October 26, 2011 02:00 PM (BvTwT)

173 i am actually going to take her case pro boner

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 02:00 PM (loM0R)

174 Tonight I'm going to Netflix "Chained Heat" in this gal's honor, crank Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" and beat my dick like an asteroid's heading for Earth. This pud's for you, Erin.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at October 26, 2011 02:00 PM (PLHIl)

175 It does sound cool, that's why I want to know what it means.

Posted by: ace at October 26, 2011 02:00 PM (nj1bB)

176 I think I saw that woman in a mens stall with someone at the chick'n shack in 1987

Posted by: Flapjackmaka says anybody but Mutt Romney at October 26, 2011 02:00 PM (kUkyB)

177 I think "Chinese 9" is in the same realm as EoJ's classic "bozack deep," as in "I was bozack deep in her ham wallet." Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure

Ham wallet? I though that was her fish tank!? Gross, I gotta shower...

Posted by: Dang at October 26, 2011 02:00 PM (BbX1b)

178 Meh. Just an average night.

Posted by: Nick Nolte at October 26, 2011 05:56 PM (usXZy)

Except for all the teeth, that could be me.

Posted by: Margot Kidder at October 26, 2011 02:01 PM (QKKT0)

179 She resembles Sybil Danning after a week-long crank bender.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 02:01 PM (UlUS4)

180 Ham wallet? I though that was her fish tank!? Gross, I gotta shower... Posted by: Dang at October 26, 2011 06:00 PM (BbX1b) Piss flaps by any other name would not smell so sweet.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 26, 2011 02:02 PM (UlUS4)

181 Ima runnin down the road tryin to loosen my load...

Posted by: soots at October 26, 2011 02:02 PM (dVBif)

182 Our amplifiers go to Chinese 11. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven.

Posted by: Nigel Tufnel at October 26, 2011 02:02 PM (QKKT0)

183
What?
No facial sores?

At least she's been commemorated onto a piece of cheap jewelery.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at October 26, 2011 02:02 PM (Qxdfp)

184 Chinese 9? That's the group of moderate Chinese senators who prevent the filibuster of nominees to the position of Cashew Chicken Inspector.

Posted by: Dave at October 26, 2011 02:03 PM (Xm1aB)

185 I think I saw that woman in a mens stall with someone at the chick'n shack in 1987 WAS. NOT . ME . I think .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at October 26, 2011 02:03 PM (npr0X)

186 It does sound cool, that's why I want to know what it means.

First time I heard it was from my landlord complaining about my stereo.

Why do you have to turn that thing up to Chinese 9 every night?!

I think it comes from the belief that the Chinese have more of everything. Even numbers.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 02:04 PM (4CSeG)

187 Odds are she buys Sudafed by the gross, and not for allergies.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 02:05 PM (AZGON)

188
Has anybody noticed a sort of "theme" running across today's posts?

Or is this what happens when Ace is the only one posting?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at October 26, 2011 02:05 PM (Qxdfp)

189
I like fast girls.

But it don't help if you don't let me catch you...

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at October 26, 2011 02:05 PM (1hM1d)

190 First time I heard it was from my landlord complaining about my stereo. Not cool . Not donkey punch cool .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at October 26, 2011 02:06 PM (npr0X)

191 Chelsea Clinton considering run for New York 18th district, Westchester county. And you thought the mutt was neutered?

If only Webb could have lived to see this.

Posted by: Hillary! at October 26, 2011 02:06 PM (QKKT0)

192 Hiram, where the girl is from, is basically just a small Christian college that President Garfield was once the president of. 1 stop light, one blinker. Doesn't vibe like a college girl. Don't know how Geauga Co. is about drunks.

Posted by: Jeffrey Quick at October 26, 2011 02:06 PM (g9neE)

193 Hey, that chick emailed me pics of HER junk!

Posted by: brett favre at October 26, 2011 02:06 PM (+56Bh)

194 Chelsea Clinton considering run for New York 18th district, For those of you who can't get enough of privileged Demotards with less experience than it takes to run a hot bath.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 02:07 PM (AZGON)

195 At least she wasn't riding her hardtail.

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at October 26, 2011 02:07 PM (m8ARs)

196 Not cool . Not donkey punch cool .

I know, huh. It deserves better.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 02:08 PM (4CSeG)

197 Chelsea Clinton considering run for New York 18th district, Westchester county. And you thought the mutt was neutered?

Posted by: Doctor Fish at October 26, 2011 06:05 PM (Lt/Za)

Like someone quoted Rush in the last thread, as long as there's a Clinton breathing, they're going to be running.

Posted by: Soona - haftin to speed at October 26, 2011 02:08 PM (fexDM)

198 I just can't help but think it would be fun to absorb her shock.

Posted by: Dave at October 26, 2011 02:08 PM (Xm1aB)

199 ...pretty sure i found her facebook page...

Posted by: billygoat at October 26, 2011 02:09 PM (R3k3C)

200 Such a terrifying manjawÂ…I need some brain bleach.

Posted by: CrisisEraDynamo at October 26, 2011 02:10 PM (cKuXf)

201 Odds are she buys Sudafed by the gross, and not for allergies. She certainly doesn't meth around.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at October 26, 2011 02:10 PM (vzFJV)

202

I know a B+ is an Asian "F".

Explains Barky's grading system.

Posted by: dagny at October 26, 2011 02:11 PM (rmDVL)

203 Was she on her way to or running away from #Occupy Cleveland? If she was trying to escape then obviously her actions were justified.

Posted by: Boots at October 26, 2011 02:11 PM (neKzn)

204

You can tell that happens to be not a particularly flattering pic of her, and she's actually quite lovely and doable in person.

Posted by: Reggie1971 at October 26, 2011 02:11 PM (b68Df)

205 OK, so where the hell was she going?
You know, for the local "points of interest" travel info books like AAA and The Mobil Travel Guide reference.
_{Prolly can rule out church and the public library}

Posted by: ontherocks at October 26, 2011 02:13 PM (HBqDo)

206 Prison penpals Ohio boys. I'm telling ya, she'll be clean for six to eight months and looking for a man.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 26, 2011 02:13 PM (9TXA3)

207 ...pretty sure i found her facebook page...

Posted by: billygoat at October 26, 2011 06:09 PM (R3k3C)

Yeah. I think I have too. She likes rubbing ewok fur on her cooter. No wonder Ace posted this.

Posted by: Soona - haftin to speed at October 26, 2011 02:13 PM (fexDM)

208 This website is good: http://majorityleader.gov/JobsTracker/

The comments are moronic, but good for the House GOP for publicizing their jobs bills.

Posted by: Y-not at October 26, 2011 02:13 PM (5H6zj)

209 I'm inspired to write another song.

Posted by: Amanda Fucking Palmer at October 26, 2011 02:14 PM (4pSIn)

210 Of course, I'd hit it.

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 02:14 PM (niZvt)

211 Was she wearing NASA brand astronaut diapers?

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 02:15 PM (niZvt)

212 Wistful .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at October 26, 2011 02:15 PM (npr0X)

213 219 Beat me to it.

Posted by: fb at October 26, 2011 02:16 PM (JVEmw)

214 Officers also know that, when they found her, she was wearing nothing but fishnet stockings, g-string panties and a pair of high heels. Dear Penthouse, You are not going to believe this, but...

Posted by: Officer Bob at October 26, 2011 02:18 PM (niZvt)

215 She's actually kinda hot...in a dirty crack-whore way I mean.

Posted by: RickS at October 26, 2011 02:18 PM (MR3QJ)

216 Nah. Ted Nugent's "Wango Tango".

Posted by: Drillanwr at October 26, 2011 02:19 PM (z+Dxj)

217 Officers also know that, when they found her, she was wearing nothing but fishnet stockings, g-string panties and a pair of high heels. What was she driving, a Sybian?

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 02:19 PM (niZvt)

218 think this is her on facebook - can kinda make out same facial features in dark photo

http://on.fb.me/uijSGm

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 26, 2011 02:20 PM (PK7oq)

219 214 Prison penpals Ohio boys. I'm telling ya, she'll be clean for six to eight months and looking for a man.
Fresh as a daisy and hornier than a hoot

Posted by: Reggie1971 at October 26, 2011 02:20 PM (b68Df)

220 OK. Likes Tyler Perry movies and Akon. Pass. I have my standards.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 02:22 PM (4CSeG)

221 Hmmm.... shall I friend her or not? Decisions, decisions...

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 02:23 PM (niZvt)

222 Oh, great, it never makes news when I get arrested for driving crazy w/the fishnets on.

Posted by: that guy sad re: lack of attention at October 26, 2011 02:23 PM (ay6+/)

223 Hmmm.... shall I friend her or not? Decisions, decisions... Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 06:23 PM

Friend her. Friend her HARD.

^{*but use fake phone# and address}

Posted by: that guy sad re: lack of attention at October 26, 2011 02:26 PM (ay6+/)

224 OK. Likes Tyler Perry movies and Akon. Pass. I have my standards. You gotta wonder how many complete strangers will friend her after this. Dozens, maybe more.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 02:26 PM (AZGON)

225

The pic is reminiscent of the quintessential epically plastered girl at the bar you think you are totally going to score with....and then

her cockblocking entourage swoop-in and remove her from the bar.

Posted by: Reggie1971 at October 26, 2011 02:31 PM (b68Df)

226 Same chick? Looks like her, and her high school graduation date puts her at 28.

http://tinyurl.com/3fzz3t9

Posted by: Kurt at October 26, 2011 02:34 PM (/DG71)

227 You gotta wonder how many complete strangers will friend her after this. Dozens, maybe more.

I kinda want to friend her just to see if she has any friends as slutty and drunk as she is.

She may smell like Skoal and Budweiser, but this is the woman you want at the party.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 02:35 PM (4CSeG)

228 She may smell like Skoal and Budweiser, You say that as if it is a problem.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 02:36 PM (AZGON)

229 the skoal taste is not so bad if you ask her to take the dip out while you are kissing her

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 02:37 PM (loM0R)

230 You say that as if it is a problem.

I prefer the straight Wind Song scent from the 5 & Dime.

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 02:38 PM (4CSeG)

231 also who would not hit that? hitting this, http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/michigan/autoerotic-senior-cops-plea-435218 now that takes stones

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 02:38 PM (loM0R)

232 i am just offering solutions. the thing that worries me about her is what she is trying to cover up wit the skoal flavor

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 02:40 PM (loM0R)

233 Pollutico: Rick Perry, who made clear during his Bill OÂ’Reilly interview last night that he finds the debate formats geared toward promoting a fight, is going to the No. 9 one after that Â– but is a question mark for some of the glut of face-offs after that. Not exactly brash confidence, that. Nevertheless... is not that sentence one of the most tortured examples of English you've read in months? Do you even need writing skills to earn a job at Pollutico?

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 02:40 PM (AZGON)

234 242 well, obviously the wrong thread must be because I'm drunk in fishnets

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 02:41 PM (AZGON)

235

the skoal taste is not so bad if you ask her to take the dip out while you are kissing fellating her

^{_{now its aoshq approved}}

Posted by: garrett at October 26, 2011 02:42 PM (8zofi)

236

I'm female. Once I got her safely off the road, I doubt that I could stop laughing.

Seriously, that's pathetic.

Posted by: JR at October 26, 2011 02:43 PM (SgDaI)

237 Fleeing and alluding at 128mph? Obviously she was playing hard to get.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at October 26, 2011 02:45 PM (FabC8)

238 She may smell like Skoal and Budweiser, but this is the woman you want at the party. You don't spend the whole night at her place either. You leave her the library's phone number and your name, "McLovin," on a piece of paper and ease your car down her driveway in neutral.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 02:48 PM (AZGON)

239 dude it is cleveland, she is the librarian

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 02:49 PM (loM0R)

240 http://tinyurl.com/3fzz3t9 Posted by: Kurt at October 26, 2011 06:34 PM (/DG71) She actually looks kind of sweet in that photo. All kidding aside... this is really a sad story.

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 02:51 PM (niZvt)

241 it is cleveland, she is the librarian

awwwww yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Posted by: sifty haftin to be uproared up in this biotch at October 26, 2011 02:51 PM (4CSeG)

242 I was nowhere near Ohio when this incident occurred.

Posted by: mpfs at October 26, 2011 02:53 PM (iYbLN)

243 This reminds me of a time when I had my learners' permit and I had to be home before midnight. It was also on Rt. 422, but in Pennsylvania. My father built stock cars, and I inherited the family car, a Plymouth Fury III with glass pack (?) mufflers and a rebuilt 500 something engine. (I don't know much about cars and it was a long time ago) I got that car up to 125 before I got scared and slowed back down. That was fun, even though I was fully dressed and sober. I also made it home on time.

Posted by: Lisa at October 26, 2011 02:53 PM (3AnLn)

244 CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 06:51 PM (niZvt) you just had to go and do that. It is all over now. incidentally, those posts read like a bad jerry springer episode. did you read the dialogue with the baby daddy? what a loser

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 03:01 PM (loM0R)

245 64
Wasn't Ace on vacation around that time?

Posted by: YIKES! at October 26, 2011 05:38 PM (70TBD)

I was just thinking how convenient that Monty knew all about this....not sure if Ace was involved, but I'm guessing Monty was riding shotgun....or riding dirty, as the Rev. Wright would say.....

Posted by: the Butcher at October 26, 2011 03:04 PM (8g9qq)

246 So how many of you Morons scanned the story to see if she was single?

Posted by: logprof at October 26, 2011 03:07 PM (QaKuj)

247

OK, morons.

Look at your left hand. Look at your right hand.

.

.
.
.
.
.
.
OK, that's this girl's competition.

Neither one of your hands is anywhere near as attractive as this girl, neither of them have tits, and neither one of them can land you in traction with a smile on your face.

I'm really curious what the backstory is on this one.

Posted by: imp at October 26, 2011 03:09 PM (UaxA0)

248 MOM????

Posted by: prouddonkeyshow at October 26, 2011 03:13 PM (+F1KP)

249 Everybody knows that police cameras always add 10 pounds of ugly.

Posted by: PugBoo TeaPug Jihadist Mastermind at October 26, 2011 03:13 PM (TJu3U)

250 This is one of those times I wish I weren't so law-abiding. Somewhere on a sever in Ohio is some hilarious dash cam footage just begging to be hacked.

Posted by: Scott J at October 26, 2011 03:16 PM (Ip8Ph)

251 why hack? for $50, a playboy, and a pack of ding dongs you can probably get a copy.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 03:21 PM (loM0R)

252

Officers also know that, when they found her....

----

Oh here she is! In this car with the flat tires and smoking hood! Call off the search.

Posted by: Jimmah at October 26, 2011 03:22 PM (dW0Dp)

253 again this is cleveland, no chance this didgtal, probably super 8 or courtroom sketch artist

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 26, 2011 03:23 PM (loM0R)

254 Fuck, there is not a moron that wouldn't do her AND take her home.

Hell with that shit, wouldn't have to worry about chemo, wife would shoot my ass about 50 times.

Posted by: Vic at October 26, 2011 03:23 PM (YdQQY)

255
This reminds me of Psycho-Ex.
I'd almost forgotten.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at October 26, 2011 03:23 PM (Qxdfp)

256

Spot the error:

WJW-TV reports that a docket filed at Chardon Municipal court lists Holdsworth as being charged with one count each of Â“OVI, refusing a blood alcohol content test, fleeing and alluding, criminal damaging, driving under a suspended license, speeding and reckless operation.Â”

--What error? Maybe her outfit was an allusion to Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Posted by: logprof at October 26, 2011 03:24 PM (QaKuj)

257 I have a pretty good friend at that court house...I'm going to try and find out the back story on this one.

Posted by: billygoat at October 26, 2011 03:24 PM (R3k3C)

258 FWIW, Hiram, Bainbridge, Chardon...Geauga County. These are far from da CLEVO hood. In fact, Middlefield is nearby...which is home to the largest Amish community in Ohio...

Posted by: billygoat at October 26, 2011 03:29 PM (R3k3C)

259

Bailiff: "Call the next case!"

Clerk: "County of Geauga v. Erin Holdsworth, cause number CV-11-01069; speeding, and public indecency."

Judge: "The Defendant will rise."

[Defendant rises, wearing an ankle-length gray trench coat]

Judge: "To the charges of speeding and public indecency, how do you plead, Ms. Holdsworth?"

Defendant: "Guilty of speeding, your Honor, but mitigating circumstances exist. Not guilty on the charge of public indecency."

Judge: "Oh, what are the mitigating circumstances on the speeding charge?"

Defendant: "I didn't want them coppers seeing THIS!"

[The Defendant whips open her coat, to reveal herself standing in all of her glory, wearing nothing but fishnet stockings, g-string panties and a pair of high heels.]

Judge: "I see your point. There certainly isn't anything indecent about that! As they say, one man's art is another man's pornography. I'd say that's closer to art. Case dismissed! [Bangs gavel, and later in chambers, Ms. Holdsworth.]

Posted by: Sharkman at October 26, 2011 03:29 PM (wMsKw)

260 Maybe she was just didn't want to be seen nude in fishnet stockings by someone she wasn't sleeping with. and that's why she took off the road at rip roaring speeds.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 26, 2011 03:31 PM (ZNlCL)

261 Gosh, Ace is turning this joint into Esquire Alley Version, with one doable skank after another.

Posted by: Rex the Wonder God at October 26, 2011 03:32 PM (vahvH)

262

Poor reporting.

The local Fox TV website has the police cruiser video up.

She was NOT wearing high heels, but instead had on tennis shoes.

She was NOT wearing fishnet stockings, but she was topless/braless beneath her white fishnet top.

She also seems to have an account on every social media site ever conceived. With some really interesting friend requests I bet.

Posted by: RS at October 26, 2011 03:38 PM (oHiHj)

263 Posted by: RS at October 26, 2011 07:38 PM (oHiHj)

--Would it have killed ya to put up the link???

Posted by: logprof at October 26, 2011 03:41 PM (QaKuj)

264 Fuck, there is not a moron that wouldn't do her AND take her home. So? What's your point??

Posted by: Julie Andrews at October 26, 2011 03:44 PM (niZvt)

265 228 OK. Likes Tyler Perry movies and Akon. Pass. I have my standards.

I've seen some Tyler Perry movies, um, back in the day.

The Medea character comes out when the movie is rotten and Mr Perry has to step in and save it. In T. Perry movies which are actually good (Why Did I Get Married, and especially Precious) either Perry shows up as a male character or else he sticks to directing / producing / promoting.

So, there's your helpful tip for the evening!

As for Akon, can't help you there. You know it's bad when its regular voice sounds like autotune.

Posted by: Zimriel at October 26, 2011 03:44 PM (6GvAC)

266 She was NOT wearing fishnet stockings, but she was topless/braless beneath her white fishnet top. Go on...

Posted by: Julie Andrews at October 26, 2011 03:45 PM (niZvt)

267 off, sock

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 03:45 PM (niZvt)

268 AAH! Eye bleach! That's like envisioning Helen Thomas doing Barney Frank with a strap-on.
Good. So I got off easy then, thanks be to Allah's nuts.

Posted by: zombie qaddafi at October 26, 2011 03:45 PM (OKhgI)

269 Julie Andrews at October 26, 2011 07:45 PM (niZvt) 277 off, sock

Not that there's anything wrong with that sock

Posted by: Zimriel at October 26, 2011 03:46 PM (6GvAC)

270 She looks like a nice girl. Probably had a bad night.

Got her number?

Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: Adjoran at October 26, 2011 03:56 PM (HJBJB)

271

is there a search feature on ace of spades.....i`m late to the game(was an old follower over at lgf before the brain eating amoeba crawled into both of charles` ears simultaneously)....

muchos gracias in advance....

Posted by: russ hines at October 26, 2011 03:56 PM (GkHqV)

272 Why the hell is this worthy lass not running for President, for Pete's Sake? I've LOVE to see her run... in her fishnet top, and no bra...

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 03:58 PM (niZvt)

273 281 is there a search feature on ace of spades.....i`m late to the game(was an old follower over at lgf before the brain eating amoeba crawled into both of charles` ears simultaneously).... muchos gracias in advance.... Posted by: russ hines at October 26, 2011 07:56 PM (GkHqV) Not really, but you know, all we do around here is have the same Perry is/is not going to be the nominee, and discussions of Tits and Ass, not to mention an endless stream of double posts by Ace himself... so we don't need no stinkin' search feature!

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 04:00 PM (niZvt)

274 Well, at least she gave the cops some eye candy after all that adrenaline.

Posted by: KG at October 26, 2011 04:01 PM (LD21B)

275 Also, is this going to be on COPS?

Posted by: KG at October 26, 2011 04:03 PM (LD21B)

276 Once I see the actual evidence, I may be willing to represent her pro bono. Hell I might pay her.

Posted by: CMU VET at October 26, 2011 04:05 PM (F+1Cp)

277 Not to go all technical on you or anything, but that (red + blue) would be purple. Well, you see, my spectrum has shifted all Doppler-like. All the red wavelengths now look green, and green looks indigo. Blue is a blazing ultraviolet. Damn fine mushrooms, these are.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 04:05 PM (AZGON)

278 287 Man, that's twice I've posted on the wrong thread.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure at October 26, 2011 04:14 PM (AZGON)

279 Man, that's twice I've posted on the wrong thread.

Don't sweat it. I just accidentally slammed the SCFOAMF on a children's book thread at pbs.org.

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at October 26, 2011 04:19 PM (HtUdo)

280
Not really, but you know, all we do around here is have the same Perry is/is not going to be the nominee, and discussions of Tits and Ass, not to mention an endless stream of double posts by Ace himself... so we don't need no stinkin' search feature!

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 26, 2011 08:00 PM (niZvt)

s`okay......thanks for the respnse....btw,loved your work in "the night stalker"....

Posted by: russ hines at October 26, 2011 04:20 PM (GkHqV)

281 1) To what was she alluding? 2) I demand an FOIA request for the dash cam footage of the lead patrol car. We must know for sure what parts of the body were wearing the fishnets. Our journalistic integrity requires it.

Posted by: NukemHill at October 26, 2011 04:33 PM (7WLzC)

282 Bill Clinton was involved somehow. I can feel it.

Posted by: Stu-22 at October 26, 2011 04:37 PM (k4bdL)

283 For your viewing pleasure: http://tinyurl.com/6c45c8g Mostly fuzzed out, but there are a coupla nip-slips.

Posted by: NukemHill at October 26, 2011 04:43 PM (7WLzC)

284 I'm in love.

Posted by: The Atom Bomb of Loving Kindness at October 26, 2011 04:54 PM (jqHOY)

285 Just one crazy, big-old bag of hot mess!

Posted by: billygoat at October 26, 2011 04:56 PM (R3k3C)

286

just how i like them... drunk and crazy.

it's an aquired taste...

Posted by: shoey at October 26, 2011 05:09 PM (m6OUa)

287 You really make it seem so uderstandable with your presentation but I find this topic before really hard to understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me.

Posted by: Momofuku Milk Bar ePub at October 26, 2011 05:34 PM (q96T2)

288 Need to hook her up with the Crazy Astronaut Woman . .

Posted by: FireNWater at October 26, 2011 05:36 PM (6YLGl)

289

Woman driving 128 mph in a highspeed chase. Nothing on but panyhose.

JAGER!

Posted by: JW at October 26, 2011 05:44 PM (1BWj1)

290 Thanks for sharing, please keep an update about this info. love to read it more. i like this site too much.

Posted by: Halo: Glasslands epub at October 26, 2011 05:58 PM (HBD0q)

291 I donÂ’t usually add my comments, but I will in this case. Nice work. I look forward to reading more.

Posted by: Fear and Loathing at Rolling Stone AudioBook at October 26, 2011 06:09 PM (zn084)

292 Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?

Posted by: El Narco ePub at October 26, 2011 07:47 PM (76RWm)

293 http://framemay.en.alibaba.com/

Posted by: Petter at October 26, 2011 07:48 PM (A8Qhn)

294 Here's why this story sucks. It has a topless woman, but no photos of it!

Posted by: Kevin at October 27, 2011 02:46 PM (8wwlf)

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