Completely, 100% OT, but I seriously love Bo Snerdley. 

I return you to your regularly scheduled Moronity.

Manipulate a couple of markets, make the case for more "emergency measures"

Won't be long now...

This is yet another example of those evil speculators lopping off the legs of patients and needlessly removing tonsils for money.

The Vapid One™ told me so.

My inventory of baby oil is getting perilously low.

If vegetable oil comes from squeezing vegetables, then where does baby oil come from?

Well, can't get TinyUrl/linking to work again, so someone else may want to do it. Sarah Palin just dropped a FB post (4 minutes ago) regarding NLRB/Boeing/SC.

Pretty good.

I'm not bullish on gas prices in the next few years. The global economic recovery has been sluggish (as in the US). The dollar is not as weak as people make it out to be short-term, long-term weakness is the real concern.

We actually have time to stall on our energy problems, which seems like a bad thing to me. It makes people think that we can wait to increase domestic supply, when the actions we take now will be what determines domestic supply five, ten years from now.

Posted by: $5 a gallon gas prices at May 11, 2011 01:34 PM (/FqjZ)

When I kick in people will miss you too

Keep in mind that Obama's AP 60% approval is from a poll with:

 party ID: 46 percent identify as Democrat or leaning Democrat, 29 percent identify as Republican or leaning Republican, 4 percent identify as purely independent leaning towards neither party, and 20 percent answered, “I donÂ’t know.”

So he should have the democrats at 46%. He should have the fuckingidiots at 20%. Therefore this is really bad news for him because he's either losing democrats or fuckingidiots(same dif)  at 6 points in this poll.

This is really bad news for him because if fuckingidiots (not independents, people who "don't know" what their party is) are abandoning him, he has very few people left.

This is really bad news for him because if fuckingidiots (not independents, people who "don't know" what their party is) are abandoning him, he has very few people left.

We are still with President Obama

Posted by: Dead People at May 11, 2011 01:40 PM (OWjjx)

So are we.

Posted by: Ken Mach 2 at May 11, 2011 01:44 PM (Q1lie)

Just bestiality. My Friend Flicka - indeed!

We are still with President Obama

Posted by: Dead People at May 11, 2011 01:40 PM (OWjjx)

So are we.

Posted by: Never Existed People at May 11, 2011 01:43 PM (LdYLm)

Somos Tambie'n.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 01:44 PM (pLTLS)

I do not think Reuters knows what an "adult" is...

We are still with President Obama

Posted by: Dead People at May 11, 2011 01:40 PM (OWjjx)

So are we.

Posted by: Never Existed People at May 11, 2011 01:43 PM (LdYLm)

Somos Tambie'n.

Posted by: Illegal aliens at May 11, 2011 01:46 PM (ujg0T)\

Click-click-zoink-click-clavin (TRANSLATION: So are we!)

Why would Mr Obama suggest a moat with alligators on the border with Mexico?

He should support MY idea:  SHARKS WITH LASER BEAMS ON THEIR HEADS!!!

Imagine being asked: Do you self define as a democrat, a republican, an independent, a greenie, some other party or "don't know".

They found 20% that responded "don't know".

Imagine being asked: Do you self define as a democrat, a republican, an independent, a greenie, some other party or "don't know".

They found 20% that responded "don't know".

Posted by: dagny at May 11, 2011 01:51 PM (23y25)

You have a problem with Lady Gaga fans?

I've asked the Networks for time during the dinner hour this evening to announce to America that my crack team of snipers has taken out a cell of oil speculators.

70% approval baby!

Click-click-zoink-click-clavin (TRANSLATION: So are we!)

So much for the idea of outer space aliens being more advanced than we are....

Lovely.

Sounds like an amazing guest list they have there.

Deportation, anyone?

Expected time until we can get EPA/FDA approval???

Never in this century.

Taking away our food supply threatens us!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 02:00 PM (pLTLS)

I'm sure the College Board is already incorporating all of her poems into the SAT.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 11, 2011 02:06 PM (pLTLS)

Well, they've realized that "social" is an adjective that gives irony to the noun that follows. (social justice, social security, social promotion, etc.)

He's a "socially conscious" rapper. Meaning, he raps about politics.

Posted by: dagny

Michael Moore and Barney Frank spring to mind.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 11, 2011 02:07 PM (9hSKh)

I hear Tijuana is a sanctuary city.  Also Mexico City.

Anyone who purchases a financial instrument that does not have a defined return is a speculator. This separation of speculators from the rest of us is an artificial construct for the purpose of demonizing successful investors.

Bingo. It amazes and saddens me how many people fall for this crybaby Commiecrat Demunist demogoguery. Any investor is to some extent a speculator. Even those who buy up defined return bonds on the hope that a future Republican Prez/Congress will halt or reverse inflation, as happened in the 1980's, is speculating.

meanwhile he said Bush should be lit on fire.

Oh I did not hear this part. Jesus. So let's see. This guy under the Bush administration was proably paid a visit by the Secret Service. Yet he gets to walk right into the Oval Office with the current President in office. Mkay, yeah that makes sense.

Posted by: Lady in Black at May 11, 2011 02:13 PM (XK4nA)

To make sure you appreciate Him...

"Why did God make jerks, incompetents, imbeciles and douchbags? "

So conservatives would have someone to mock. He's a generous God.

Posted by: Dr Evil

You forgot the "FRICKEN"

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 11, 2011 02:16 PM (9hSKh)

Ya know, I never got that movie. I thought it was pron and it was about some stupid whale..

Think of how proud Moo will be to hear this great orator 'Common'. It only happens a few times a year that she's proud - so this is kind of a BFD.

I'm gonna speculate short on Telstar. But at least some 'green' jobs were created when these were mandated (created in China that is) :

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Caveats: FOUO

Below is a product recall issued by the U.S. CPSC.  If you are in possession of this product, please stop using it immediately and follow the instructions in the recall notice.

There have been numerous articles regarding problems with these type of bulbs.  If you are using these type of blubs in your home or workplace no matter who the manufacturer is, it is best to investigate whether there have been any problems with the lights you are using.

Please make this information available to those who do not have access to email.

Installation Safety Office

Subject: News from CPSC - Recall

NEWS from CPSC

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

May 10, 2011

Release #11-219

Firm's Recall Hotline: (88 828-1680

CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772

CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Telstar Recalls Energy-Saving Light Bulbs Due to Fire Hazard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed. It is illegal to resell or attempt to resell a recalled consumer product.

Name of Product: Light Bulbs

Units: About 317,000

Manufacturer: Telstar Products d/b/a Sprint International Inc., of Brooklyn, N.Y.

Hazard: The light bulbs can overheat, posing a fire hazard to consumers.

Incidents/Injuries: Telstar Products has received two reports of fires. In one incident, the fire was contained to the light fixture. The other reported incident resulted in a residential fire.

Description: This recall involves energy-saving light bulbs sold under the Telstar and Electra brand names. The bulbs were sold in two styles: spiral and the "3-Us" shape. The Telstar bulbs were sold in 20 and 23 watts with model number LB-1020 and LB-1023 printed on the packaging. The Electra bulbs were sold in 18, 20, 23, 26, 28, 30, 34, 36, 38 and 40 watts with model numbers LB-18, LB-20, LB-23, LB-26, LB-28, LB-30, LB-1018, LB-1020, LB-1023, LB-1026, LB-1134, LB-1136, LB-1138 and LB-1140 printed on the packaging. "CE 110V," "China" and the wattage number are printed on the bulb.

Sold at: Discount stores throughout New York and New Jersey from August 2010 through March 2011 for between $1 and $1.50

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should immediately stop using the light bulbs and return it to the store where purchased for a full refund.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Telstar Products toll-free at (88 828-1680 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. ET Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's website at www.telstarpro.com

Posted by: Chuckit

All I know is I'd donate a pearl necklace for the cause.

Posted by: Lady in Black at May 11, 2011 02:13 PM (XK4nA)

False premise.  God didn't make them.  It's the default setting of fallen man.  The only way to end the production of those types is for human breeding to stop.  Which I think would be a worthy trade.

Speculators in Cap'n Crunch futures have driven grocery prices through the roof.

Dare I have yet another Johnsonville brat? That would make three-out-of-four days with a dose of porky, spicy, mustardy deliciousness.

Yup, I think I'm ready for another one.

I'm not in the Demonize the Speculators camp, but the system could stand some changes- right now the potential risk/reward ratio is too low.

I'd increase themargin requirement to match that of stocks; a $5 investment shouldn't allow one to influence the price of $100 in oil futures.

Before BeckÂ’s review, Meghan confirmed that she was not actually naked for the filming of the video. And now after BeckÂ’s commentary, Cindy has responded:

IÂ’m so glad Glenn Beck is leaving Fox. Enough vitriol and hate. Glenn you are no rodeo clown. They are decent and nice. You arenÂ’t.

I'd increase themargin requirement to match that of stocks; a $5 investment shouldn't allow one to influence the price of $100 in oil futures.

Before we try to fix the futures market, why don't we start with the zero margin requirements offered by FANNIE and FREDDIE? Turning the real estate market into a zero margin account crippled this country. You can thank Bill Clinton and his CBC for this "progressive" approach to home ownership. Remember Welfare Reform?

Not really, the people who actually use the commodity do that quite well without the people who create those wide swings by short term buying and selling.

For instance A&B can elect to buy broccoli futures from farm bureaus in CA months ahead of time. Farmers can sell at what ever they offer or hold out for more later down the road. That performs the same function.

Sorry, but no. Do airlines hedging their exposure to jet fuel costs ever plan to take delivery of the barrels of crude oil they order? Too funny that it was these liberal political asshats petioning the public to remove "the speculator" from the markets. Speculator defined as one not taking possession of physical barrels. (And yes, for every airline or trucking company trying to hedge against future oil price spikes, there's a so called "evil speculator" who has to buy or sell in the opposite direction.)

Seriously, folks, the futures and options trading market for oil is NO different than the ones for gold, silver, wheat, pork bellies, or frozen concentrated orange juice (for those of you who remember the comedy "Trading Spaces").

I'd increase themargin requirement to match that of stocks; a $5 investment shouldn't allow one to influence the price of $100 in oil futures.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 11, 2011 02:27 PM (SY2Kh)

Yeah maybe, but that isn't how margins work. Margin=borrowing, usually against other assets in your trading account. Oil is considered a lower risk than stocks as it is not as volital. It doesn't usually lose all its value like stocks have been known to do.

If some loans to traders are made with no collateral than I would agree with you, otherwise if someone wants to put up collateral to borrow some money I don't have a problem with it.

Why does he wear a wedding ring in his college photos?

Srsly? Haven't seen that. Was he also wearing a gold hoop in only his left ear?

Telstar Products

Probably one of the best instrumental songs ever.

I'm not in the Demonize the Speculators camp

I am.  They add absolutely nothing of value to the oil-to-consumer chain.  They are vermin.

Oil is like real estate, and not too dissimilar from the stock market.  You have speculators drive up the cost, totally detached from real supply-and-demand.  However, eventually, economic reality sets in and supply-and-demand necessarily reasserts itself into the equation.  When that happens, bubbles burst...but not before some have gotten rich and some have lost their butts.  We saw it with the real estate run-up before the bubble burst in 2007.  We saw it with the dot-com stock market run-up, before the bubble burst in 2000.  We saw it with oil in 2008, and again this year.  There is NO WAY oil should be this high right now, with 9% unemployment and less disposable income.

I LOVE capitalism.  But dude, when oil speculators can drive up oil in a way that is temporarily detached from supply and demand, I have to think that's not capitalism.  Jack up the margin requirements on these speculators to at least 50% and make them take delivery (since they only want the paper and not the oil), then we'll see how much of a hurry they are to buy it.

Personally I do not think they perform a useful function.

Market liquidity?

But dude, when oil speculators can drive up oil in a way that is temporarily detached from supply and demand

When our supply margins (no pun intended) are so razor-thin, is this such a surprise?

Why did crude oil futures run up in 2007? Because futures contract traders (rightly) believed long-term demand would continue to outstrip supply, leading to an increase in price. This is why all it took was President Bush getting rid of the executive order banning U.S. offshore drilling to give the market the perception that we were about to get serious and increase the supply a little, to drive the price back down a little. If it took crude oil futures topping $145/barrel and gasoline hitting $4.50 per gallon to get our weenie politicians off their asses and allow us to go after our own natural resources, and "the speculators" were 100% at fault for driving prices to these levels, then they should be given medals and have heroic folk songs written about them.

Unfortunately, the Obamunists have reversed this again....

IÂ’m so glad Glenn Beck is leaving Fox. Enough vitriol and hate. Glenn you are no rodeo clown. They are decent and nice. You arenÂ’t.

Posted by: The morons/ettes at May 11, 2011 02:29 PM (penCf)

Whoever the fuck you are, you don't speak for me, asshole.

#159: That was a quote from Bimbo Mommy/Wife Cindy, not the posting of one of us. Sorry for the confusion.

The sooner McLame, his bimbo wife and slut daughter go off into the sunset, the better. As the Vietnamese themselves say, "qua roi" (past enough).

IÂ’m so glad Glenn Beck is leaving Fox. Enough vitriol and hate. Glenn you are no rodeo clown. They are decent and nice. You arenÂ’t.

Posted by: The morons/ettes at May 11, 2011 02:29 PM (penCf)

Fuck you. He reveals the vitriol and hate. It's you people who are so fucking dumb you don't know the difference. So go visit Chavez you Van Jones wannabe.

Yeah maybe, but that isn't how margins work. Margin=borrowing, usually against other assets in your trading account. Oil is considered a lower risk than stocks as it is not as volital. It doesn't usually lose all its value like stocks have been known to do.

You are partly correct (but this is mostly nit-picking).   While margin accounts involve borrowing, the term "margin" actually refers to the "equity" in the account (i.e. taking a $10,000 position with a required margin of 60% would involve posting collateral of $6,000 and borrowing $4,000).  In a futures account, the margin required is typically set based on the volatility of the underlying asset (i.e. if oil futures contracts were more volatile than wheat contracts, they'd require a greater margin). 

As for speculators, they do provide a valuable role.  If not for speculators, a producer wishing to hedge risk by taking a short position would have to enter into a forward contract with a user of the same commodity who wanted to take the long side at the same price/maturity.   Since finding the other side could be a problem, there's not nearly as much liquidity in the forward market.   Also, since forward contracts are less standardized, they're harder to exit, since there's not as much of a market or them.

You mean that supply and demand forces might have something to do with the price of gasoline? The deuce you say!

It's always funny when they throw in an actual fact that they generally choose not to believe in, and which tends to refute what they're saying.

But on a technical note, the price of oil they quote is a futures thing, and the price volatility comes when crazy things happen and they get nervous about a future disruption, a couple months ahead, in supply. Probably, it takes that couple months for the oil to get where its going.

They talk about "demand" changing, but the quantity bought vs price curve doesn't change - just the point where it intersects the supply curve (which is what determines the price). The change in price in this case is due to a changed supply curve, not a change in the demand curve. At least that's the way I remember how it works, from my macroeconomics class a thousand years ago. Journalists.