August 03, 2011
— Slublog We've all been there. It's been a long day at the
Cereal. In the pantry. A box of sugary love from a cardboard box. Apple Jacks, Cocoa Crispies, Frosted Flakes...heaven in a bowl. You know where this is going, right? Where you see something beautiful bureaucrats see...an opportunity to take it away from you.
The Obama administration is after your Lucky Charms, or at least your children’s. The public comment period closed on July 14 for a set of “voluntary” guidelines for the marketing of food to children. If adopted, these rules will transform the advertising of breakfast cereals.Wait...what? Cheerios?Put forward by an interagency working group, the guidelines will establish nutritional standards that most cereals flunk—and not just those of the “Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs” variety. Corn Flakes will not be advertisable to children, along with Raisin Bran, Special K, Rice Krispies, and Wheaties. Plain Cheerios squeak by the proposed 2016 rules but fall foul of the “ultimate goal” for sodium effective in 2021.
These Cheerios? The bland yet delicious little circles that have placated toddlers for decades? That nutrition data, by the way, is for a 28 gram serving size. Sometimes, food manufacturers set the serving size low to keep the numbers down. This is not one of those times.
I did a little experiment to demonstrate what 28 grams of Cheerios looked like. Here's what 28 grams of Cheerios looks like, weighed on a food scale:
That is not a small serving. That's enough Cheerios to keep a nursery quiet for at least an hour. This is what our government considers unhealthy. To comply with the new regulations, these companies will be forced to spend millions of dollars to re-engineer their products, and will do so at a particularly bad time for the industry.
Sales of ready-to-eat cereals fell 2.55% in the 52 weeks ending April 17 to $6.41 billion, according to data from Symphony/IRI which covers retail outlets such as supermarkets. Sales of cheap, private label cereals dropped 7.2% to $637.5 million during that same time frame. Sales and units shipped have been lackluster since at least 2007, predating the Global Recession and the recent rise in grain prices.A drop in sales combined with these new regulations should do wonders for these companies, and the profits they use to keep people employed and pay farmers for the raw materials.
Now, some of the more Frumian among the morons may be saying...'Wait...the regulations only prevent these companies from advertising their unhealthy products. Surely, we should prevent such horrible things from being marketed to children, right?'
Back to the Weekly Standard.
The definition of “marketing to children” is broad. A television show is deemed “targeted to children” if 20 percent of the audience is 18 or under. Any child-oriented theme, like education or parenting or T-ball, cannot be mentioned in the advertising of foods that don’t meet the standards. Frosted Flakes will no longer be allowed to sponsor Little League baseball. The Coca Cola Company will have to give up its Coca Cola Scholars Foundation (which provides $3.4 million a year in scholarships) or perhaps rename it after one of the company’s bottled waters. General Mills’s “Box Tops for Education” program will be barred from kid-friendly cereals. The slogan “Choosy moms choose Jif” will be forbidden as too “targeted.”So no more money for educational programs, T-ball leagues, Little League, Scholars, and schools around the country. Add that to the potential job losses in the cereal industry, the lost advertising revenue for television stations and those regulations are just looking better and better, huh?
Really, what would we do without the federal government?
Other than prosper and enjoy a nice bowl of cereal, that is.
(Thanks to the Twitter feeds of @nathanwurtzel and @baseballcrank for the links)
Also, via Gabe Malor, Members of Congress...you know what needs to be done.
Posted by: Slublog at
02:53 PM
| Comments (255)
Post contains 703 words, total size 5 kb.
Posted by: huerfano at August 03, 2011 03:59 PM (iezIp)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at August 03, 2011 04:00 PM (/zYUh)
Posted by: 18_1 at August 03, 2011 04:00 PM (aGNrF)
Otherwise, leftists will continue their march of destruction.
Posted by: cherry π at August 03, 2011 04:01 PM (OhYCU)
Why don't they establish guidelines for toilet paper?
Better still, why doesn't Congress impeach the Traitor-in-Chief before he and the eunuchs in Congress reduce us to granola-eating slaves whose only function is to toil for the greater glory of the government and sing endless hymns of praise to the Chicago Jesus?
Posted by: MrScribbler at August 03, 2011 04:02 PM (YjjrR)
What the fucking fuck makes these people think this is any of their goddamn business?
Posted by: mongo78 at August 03, 2011 04:02 PM (2b46R)
Posted by: Gregory of Yardalre at August 03, 2011 04:03 PM (azHfB)
Posted by: Standard Leftist at August 03, 2011 04:03 PM (IhzyJ)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 03, 2011 04:03 PM (7wmOW)
Posted by: 18-1 at August 03, 2011 04:03 PM (aGNrF)
Posted by: cherry π at August 03, 2011 04:03 PM (OhYCU)
Posted by: Fallen Sparrow at August 03, 2011 04:04 PM (9ZJI6)
I felt dirty just looking at the advertisement. I didn't want to become part of the bureaucracy. I didn't apply. I'm stupid, right? I just couldn't do it. I didn't want any part of it.
Posted by: bonhomme at August 03, 2011 04:04 PM (niMr9)
What the fucking fuck makes these people think this is any of their goddamn business?
Come on. These people are totally committed to making every possible sexual perversion the norm. Banning cereal is simply something to keep their claws sharpened.
Personally, I want them to go after chocolate. That is the line that can never be crossed and will indeed cause The Revolution.
Posted by: shibumi at August 03, 2011 04:07 PM (z63Tr)
What the hell is wrong with kids these days?
BTW - fuck with my CrunchBerries at your peril.
Posted by: eastvalleyphx at August 03, 2011 04:09 PM (qiOph)
We must ban the internet. The peons are onto our master plan....
Posted by: The Democratic Congress at August 03, 2011 04:09 PM (z63Tr)
Pron will become transformed. We will watch videos of Obama and Michelle gulping down cheeseburgers and ice cream cones for our thrills.
Seriously, if there is something enjoyable in life, they will seek to ruin it, because they hate people.
They have ruined courtship, childhood, fashion, movies, television, art, traditional religion, novels, sports (both professional and amateur), the Olympics opening ceremonies, Broadway musicals, lemonade stands, NASA, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, working on your car at home, cartoons, toys, schools, etc. etc. etc.
Anything they can get their hands on to destroy for the purpose of making us miserable, they will grab and destroy.
I despise them. And I don't even like cereal.
Posted by: Miss Marple at August 03, 2011 04:09 PM (Fo83G)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 04:09 PM (cbyrC)
Posted by: Y-not the filtered at August 03, 2011 04:10 PM (5H6zj)
I loved the movie Thank You for Smoking and I can't help but laught everytime shit like this happens.
We're not changing history, we're improving it.
We're not destroying you're freedoms, we're improving them
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:11 PM (DKV43)
There's the gumbermint for you, screwing you in every way they possibly can.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 03, 2011 04:11 PM (c0A3e)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at August 03, 2011 04:11 PM (0f7gD)
Posted by: Laura Castellano at August 03, 2011 04:11 PM (fuw6p)
The real purpose is to destroy companies while making us miserable.
Posted by: Miss Marple at August 03, 2011 04:12 PM (Fo83G)
This is the sort of crap we get when those bastards breed like rabbits.
"Hey, Moe, what say we get together after our 90 minute lunch in the taxpayer subsidized cafeteria and cobble together a little interagency working group magic?"
"Gotcha! I'll bring the lube."
Posted by: No Whining at August 03, 2011 04:12 PM (7GfKM)
Posted by: CoolCzech at August 03, 2011 04:12 PM (kUaEF)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 03, 2011 04:12 PM (7wmOW)
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:12 PM (DKV43)
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 03, 2011 04:12 PM (SY2Kh)
Hot Fun, and Cold Fun.
Posted by: Meiczyslaw at August 03, 2011 04:13 PM (bjRNS)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 03, 2011 04:14 PM (7wmOW)
Obama doesn't know. He and his kids have expensive fresh fruit and likely some kind of amazing designer cereal with their french toast.
But normal Americans will notice this crap.
Posted by: Dustin at August 03, 2011 04:14 PM (519+h)
Posted by: Dick_Nixon at August 03, 2011 04:14 PM (QiudF)
Kids are making a fortune sneaking "contraband" food into schools. So what is the typical response? Ban stories from selling "unhealthy" food to kids at certain hours.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 03, 2011 04:14 PM (c0A3e)
But I'm mostly a Wheat Chex gal myself these days.
Posted by: Y-not the filtered at August 03, 2011 04:14 PM (5H6zj)
I use it for cooking.
What I cook, of course, is between me and my customers...er...family.
Posted by: Slublog at August 03, 2011 04:15 PM (J6oOl)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at August 03, 2011 04:15 PM (jucos)
Posted by: CoolCzech at August 03, 2011 04:15 PM (kUaEF)
eastvalleyphx at August 03, 2011 08:09 PM (qiOph)
They weren't toughened up with all the lead based paint and mudpies like we were. Course we actually used to go outside (without sunscreen) and soak up all the vitamin D and play all day long till it was too dark to see.
Posted by: ranger117 at August 03, 2011 04:16 PM (OYylI)
I'll eat whatever cereal I please, thank you very much. It's my responsibility to see that I'm healthy.
Posted by: 80sBaby at August 03, 2011 04:16 PM (o2lIv)
Posted by: steevy at August 03, 2011 04:16 PM (zSEO5)
Close, but ...
I actually lived in a communist country (Prague 78-80 -- bad old days. Dad was with the Embassy). The food stores had milk. Not this brand or that choice. Milk. Same with all other products, by and large.
You could buy what they had (when they had it), or not. Market-segmentation ain't all that important to commerce in a communist country, ya dig?
So, Ben, it's really Cereal Brand X, Milk Brand X, and so on.
This is where this is headed.
Posted by: eastvalleyphx at August 03, 2011 04:17 PM (qiOph)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 03, 2011 04:17 PM (7wmOW)
Posted by: elspeth at August 03, 2011 08:04 PM (clwS9)
{ * looks up * } Man, those upper levels haven't got a single effin' moron in them here at AoSHQ, have they?
Posted by: Level 5: what the eff are YOU lookin' at? at August 03, 2011 04:17 PM (7GfKM)
Must. Refrain. From. Making. Decadent. Joke. About. Eating.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 03, 2011 04:17 PM (c0A3e)
Posted by: nerdygirl at August 03, 2011 04:18 PM (fHjuj)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 04:18 PM (cbyrC)
Well to be fair Speacial K's mascot Ketamine the Cow does have a bad influence on kids.
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:18 PM (DKV43)
She wanted to pick hers. I knew if she did it would be chocolate frosted sugar bombs of some sort.
So i turned to my partner and told Mr Grim to go with her and make sure she picked a "Good Cereal."
He made sure she got Cookie Crisp.
I didnt kill him but i learned that many people have a different Yardstick for good than i have. Wish these busybodies would learn the same.
Posted by: Gushka still hasnt settled down at August 03, 2011 04:18 PM (QNeKQ)
You want funny? (Well, funny hmm, not funny ha-ha ...) The wife has a major attachment to organic food, and we hadn't noticed the food inflation that everyone's been talking about. And then we went to our non-organic store (for the stuff you can't get otherwise), and noticed the price of the industrial produce.
The industrial stuff is almost as expensive as the organic, now. (Obviously, the organic farmers had a bigger profit margin, but I already knew that.)
Posted by: Meiczyslaw at August 03, 2011 04:19 PM (bjRNS)
Posted by: steevy at August 03, 2011 04:19 PM (zSEO5)
Posted by: x11b1p at August 03, 2011 04:19 PM (nVLlM)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 03, 2011 04:19 PM (c0A3e)
Posted by: palerider at August 03, 2011 04:20 PM (dkExz)
The definition of “marketing to children” is broad. A television show is deemed “targeted to children” if 20 percent of the audience is 18 or under.
That's probably every show, with the possible exception of forty year old reruns on TV Land.
Posted by: Secundus at August 03, 2011 04:20 PM (glzJ1)
Anybody keeping a list of all the things we must stockpile? 2-ply TP, Edison Light Bulbs (*ahem*, heat lamps), ammo, gold, sweetened cereal, what else?
Expensive Cancer drugs that work but aren't affordable and are therefore banned by the FDA
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:20 PM (DKV43)
The one good scene in Moscow on the Hudson:
"Coffee. Coffee. Coffee! ... Coffee."
Posted by: Meiczyslaw at August 03, 2011 04:20 PM (bjRNS)
I can't stand pretentious "healthy" cereal that tastes like cardboard.
As a side note, those "healthy" cereals are about two-three times as expensive, per ounce.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 03, 2011 04:20 PM (71Fka)
FIFY
Posted by: No Whining - who only wishes he had thought of this first! at August 03, 2011 04:21 PM (7GfKM)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 03, 2011 08:19 PM (c0A3e)
Beans, Band-Aids, and Bullets. Variation of the themes is left to the individual.
Posted by: eastvalleyphx at August 03, 2011 04:22 PM (qiOph)
Posted by: CoolCzech at August 03, 2011 04:22 PM (kUaEF)
That reminds me. I need to pick up some arrows.
Posted by: Meiczyslaw at August 03, 2011 04:22 PM (bjRNS)
A group called the Sensible Food Policy Coalition is pushing back. Former Obama White House communications director Anita Dunn has teamed up with 17 companies, including Kellogg, General Mills, and PepsiCo, to counter the proposed rules.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 03, 2011 04:22 PM (c0A3e)
Posted by: x11b1p at August 03, 2011 04:23 PM (nVLlM)
Hell, just imagine describing any part of today's reality to someone just a few years ago. Even we wouldn't have believed it all.
Posted by: weew at August 03, 2011 04:23 PM (7RbIF)
They can pry my unpasteurized home brew beer from the cold dead fingers.
Posted by: Bob Saget has not been banned yet at August 03, 2011 04:24 PM (NLWij)
Posted by: garrett at August 03, 2011 04:24 PM (tmdlA)
Oh, and btw, the Wheat Chex I buy is "Western Family" brand. I haven't yet resorted to buying things like cereal in bulk, but that time may come.
Posted by: Y-not the filtered at August 03, 2011 04:24 PM (5H6zj)
Wait a second, didn't Scientific American report on a big study that showed that salt (a.k.a. sodium) wasn't that bad for you?
Once again, the federal government is enforcing bad science.
Posted by: DelD at August 03, 2011 04:24 PM (oAZ1S)
It would be nice to see the fiscal note on this effort. I suspect that the reason for doing this is to save Medicaid money that would normally go toward childhood obesity problems.
A great fiscal argument for smoking as well. It will save medicare money in the long run as a good percentage of smokers won't live to benefit from medicare.... or SS either. Plus, they are taxed out the ASS for the privaledge OF smoking. It's a win/win/win from a nanny state perspective.
Posted by: Truck Monkey at August 03, 2011 04:24 PM (jucos)
Posted by: buzzion at August 03, 2011 04:25 PM (oVQFe)
Posted by: x11b1p at August 03, 2011 04:25 PM (nVLlM)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 04:25 PM (cbyrC)
Posted by: BuddyPC at August 03, 2011 04:26 PM (N/Bgb)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 03, 2011 04:26 PM (7wmOW)
Posted by: Bob Saget has not been banned yet at August 03, 2011 04:26 PM (NLWij)
Posted by: steevy at August 03, 2011 04:27 PM (zSEO5)
Posted by: x11b1p at August 03, 2011 04:27 PM (nVLlM)
First they came for Tony the Tiger and I said nothing, for I wasn't a quadruped.
Then they came for Captain Crunch and I said nothing......
On a side note, does anyone remember when Smacks came with foreign coins in them as the prize? It could be a Ruble or a Deutschmark? I still have a few of those coins. Could you imagine them doing that now? Most of the foreign currencies would be more valuable than the food itself.
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:27 PM (DKV43)
Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at August 03, 2011 04:27 PM (MyByM)
Posted by: palerider at August 03, 2011 04:28 PM (dkExz)
Posted by: t-bird at August 03, 2011 04:28 PM (FcR7P)
Posted by: Commissar Obama at August 03, 2011 04:28 PM (kUaEF)
Posted by: the cap'n at August 03, 2011 04:28 PM (Ncpw7)
Posted by: mpfs, Cereal Tea Party Terrorist at August 03, 2011 04:29 PM (3TjSM)
How do you resolve Darwin and the Peanut Allergy precautions that we are forced to follow?
While we are at it, how do you resolve Darwin and Homosexuality?
The Left loves 'The Origin of Species', no?
Apparently, they don't understand it, they just love it.
Posted by: garrett at August 03, 2011 04:29 PM (tmdlA)
That's why sugar will become a rationed substance also.
You're sugar ration has been increased to 20mg from 30mg.
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:29 PM (DKV43)
I think he might be getting smacked around on the last thread. For a while there he was engaging with curious who, incidentally, is getting the shit kicked out of 'them' by AmishDude and buzzion.
Posted by: Y-not the filtered at August 03, 2011 04:30 PM (5H6zj)
My favorite cereal.
Posted by: Kal Penn at August 03, 2011 04:30 PM (c0A3e)
My dream slogan for unknown-R 2012: "Vote For Me, and I'll Leave You the Fuck Alone".
Posted by: StPatrick_TN is a suspected TEAhadist at August 03, 2011 04:31 PM (D+phB)
Anybody keeping a list of all the things we must stockpile?
2-ply TP, Edison Light Bulbs (*ahem*, heat lamps), ammo, gold, sweetened
cereal, what else?
Expensive Cancer drugs that work but aren't affordable and are therefore banned by the FDA
Correction: Cancer drugs that work and prolong life and are therefore banned by the FDA.
Posted by: The Death Panel at August 03, 2011 04:31 PM (hZqYp)
Posted by: Calvin at August 03, 2011 04:31 PM (ENKCw)
Posted by: cherry π at August 03, 2011 08:03 PM (OhYCU)
The new meme as proposed by the congressional black caucus.
I know that comment is racist, but the only reason is that it was made by a member of the CBC.
Posted by: Jack at August 03, 2011 04:31 PM (8IAHO)
Posted by: Lauren at August 03, 2011 04:31 PM (oOs0p)
Shit, get one of em on Darwinism, then bring up the topic of public assistance. Gets em every time.
Posted by: eastvalleyphx at August 03, 2011 04:32 PM (qiOph)
Damn terrorist!
Posted by: Joe Biden at August 03, 2011 04:32 PM (JEvSn)
Posted by: lowandslow at August 03, 2011 04:32 PM (GZitp)
Posted by: Comrade Arthur at August 03, 2011 04:32 PM (/62i9)
Posted by: Comrade Arthur at August 03, 2011 04:32 PM (/62i9)
Is oatmeal o.k.? Cause I always liked a little oatmeal with my brown sugar.
Oatmeal, blueberries and robatussin. It's the best breakfast around.
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:33 PM (DKV43)
While we are at it, how do you resolve Darwin and Homosexuality?
I heard a lib honesty say that homosexuality is a genetic way to keep the population down, *slaps forehead*.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 03, 2011 04:33 PM (c0A3e)
What the effin'ty eff? They're working both sides of the aisle, now?
This isn't boned; this is boned-boned!
Posted by: No Whining at August 03, 2011 04:33 PM (7GfKM)
Of course its fine '''and even moral and righteous when gun nuts , pro lifers ,pot heads , tobacco users ,gear heads ,farmers , construction workers and the like get fucked by big gov but touch my cereal or my dish washing detergent and its on .
It's like being ruled by totalitarian baptist grandmothers .
Posted by: awkward davies at August 03, 2011 04:33 PM (YCW1b)
Don't agree with the nanny state regs, but the shit really is bad for you. It's teh carbs!
Posted by: cassandra in MT at August 03, 2011 04:33 PM (//Jn/)
Posted by: nerdygirl at August 03, 2011 04:33 PM (fHjuj)
Posted by: robtr at August 03, 2011 04:34 PM (MtwBb)
Posted by: Terrorist, according to Joe Biden at August 03, 2011 04:34 PM (6Cjut)
That said, why on earth would an adult eat breakfast cereal when God gave us bacon and eggs?
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 03, 2011 04:34 PM (SY2Kh)
Posted by: t-bird at August 03, 2011 04:34 PM (FcR7P)
Canada's looking at mandating maximum IPod volume levels now...for the children.
Posted by: Stateless Infidel at August 03, 2011 04:34 PM (GKQDR)
Posted by: Chairman LMAO at August 03, 2011 04:35 PM (9eDbm)
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:35 PM (DKV43)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 03, 2011 08:33 PM (c0A3e)
ALL mutations are good mutations?
Posted by: garrett at August 03, 2011 04:35 PM (tmdlA)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 04:35 PM (cbyrC)
Thanks, Moochelle, and our Marxist overlords. We'll be eating grass and gruel while you douchebags gobble up your cheeseburgers, fries, and shakes.
Hey, Michelle. Show us again how you un-hinge your jaw and swallow a guinea pig. It's amazing.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 03, 2011 04:35 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: ...And noodles at August 03, 2011 04:36 PM (bMlVI)
Posted by: mpfs, Cereal Tea Party Terrorist at August 03, 2011 04:36 PM (3TjSM)
Posted by: lifeisdeath at August 03, 2011 04:36 PM (pP+D1)
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 03, 2011 08:34 PM (SY2Kh)
Dude, you're assuming that breakfast is the only occasion where the choice must be made.
Post bong hits, nothin beats the Cap'n.
Extra points in a wake'n'bake situation.
Posted by: eastvalleyphx at August 03, 2011 04:37 PM (qiOph)
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 03, 2011 08:34 PM (SY2Kh)
Same reason he invented instant coffee, cause at 6 in the morning, I'm a lazy fuck.
Posted by: lowandslow at August 03, 2011 04:37 PM (GZitp)
Posted by: cherry π at August 03, 2011 08:03 PM (OhYCU)
Try to keep up with the memos, people!
Posted by: No Whining at August 03, 2011 04:37 PM (7GfKM)
It depends on the cereal and you do need some carbs.
Posted by: Y-not the filtered at August 03, 2011 04:37 PM (5H6zj)
Wow, you folkf muft have handf of iron to ftill be holding the red-hot barrelf of your mufketf and riflef after fhooting all of the memberf of thif tyrannical goverment - people who have betrayed everything we fought and died for.
Wait, you mean you aren't?
Fuck it. Forry, George! You can have it all back. We'll build our own gallowf, ok?
Posted by: The Founding Fathers, Continental Army, and colonial militias at August 03, 2011 04:38 PM (xy9wk)
You mess with my cocoa krispies, shit is gonna get real!
They changed those in the last year or two...I was addicted to those for 30+ years. I liked them more than ice cream.
Now, I can't stand them.
Posted by: garrett at August 03, 2011 04:38 PM (tmdlA)
If this is coming from the so-called 'educated' ... then we better rethink what that means. This is cookoo for coco puffs
The pederist-democrat party will go down in '12 or the sane among us should break Texas off as our own
Posted by: Reid and Pelosis' xanax dealer at August 03, 2011 04:39 PM (eXQfZ)
Posted by: nerdygirl at August 03, 2011 04:39 PM (fHjuj)
Time to update my resume, I guess. Either that or I turn pirate and start raping, pillaging, plundering and raping up & down the Eastern Seaboard. But I wanna be a rusty Kalashnikov and flipflops pirate rather than a gay drunken dreadlocks pirate. More manly.
Posted by: Cap'n Crunch at August 03, 2011 04:39 PM (71Fka)
Same reason he invented instant coffee, cause at 6 in the morning, I'm a lazy fuck.
Indeed and it's so much easier to clean up after eating cereal. Am I the only one who thinks that bacon is an extremely labor intensive food to make? I spend like 20 minutes wiping up grease after making it.
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:39 PM (DKV43)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 04:40 PM (cbyrC)
Why don't they establish guidelines for toilet paper?
Ssssh - the new regs allowing only 1 single ply sheet per use will be unveiled shortly.
Posted by: needs to know at August 03, 2011 04:40 PM (R0aHf)
@8: "What the fucking fuck makes these people think this is any of their goddamn business?"
They don't. They're just fucking with us now, since they know that no one will ever call them on it.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at August 03, 2011 04:40 PM (xy9wk)
Posted by: Minuteman at August 03, 2011 04:40 PM (hbAPu)
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 08:39 PM (DKV43)
Bacon is worth every second of cleanup!
Posted by: Hrothgar at August 03, 2011 04:41 PM (yrGif)
We wish to sue for damages!
Posted by: The Law Offices of Class Action Shakedown, Inc. at August 03, 2011 04:41 PM (ijjAe)
Are they even allowed to make Count Chocula anymore? I remember eating all of the crunchy bits first and saving all the marshmallows for several last delicious bites. I always thought they should have had an option for an all marshmallow cereal.
I have dangerous thoughts...
Posted by: Stateless Infidel at August 03, 2011 04:42 PM (GKQDR)
I spend like 20 minutes wiping up grease after making it.
Try using the Oven. Baking rack on a shallow pan.
Posted by: garrett at August 03, 2011 04:42 PM (tmdlA)
Posted by: The Zetas at August 03, 2011 04:43 PM (xy9wk)
Posted by: Moochelle at August 03, 2011 04:44 PM (oOs0p)
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 08:39 PM (DKV43)
I thought you were single?
Posted by: lowandslow at August 03, 2011 04:44 PM (GZitp)
Posted by: lolhomo at August 03, 2011 04:44 PM (tmdlA)
.....WTF???
Perhaps a Tea Partier will eventually lurk in the heart of Malia or Sasha.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 03, 2011 04:44 PM (UOM48)
Or get a splatter guard for the pan. Works well, and allows the sweet, sweet smell of bacon to permeate the house.
Oven-cooked bacon is really good, though. Crispy, no grease...heaven+.
Posted by: Slublog at August 03, 2011 04:45 PM (J6oOl)
Posted by: USA at August 03, 2011 04:45 PM (6Cjut)
Posted by: Commissar Obama at August 03, 2011 04:46 PM (kUaEF)
Poor cheerios. I wonder if they will have to stop printing/selling the "Cheerios" board book. It's a toddler board book with two pictures on each page that have two little circle cut outs that a cute little cheerio fit's perfectly in, i.e. the truck picture with cheerios for wheels, the animal with cheerios for eyes, etc.
That book was a lifesaver at times for me - some days in the middle of a tantrum I'd pop the kid in the highchair with the Cheerio book and some truly zen toddler moments trying to fit the cheerios in the page left me time to open another bottle of value rite ....
good times, good times.
Posted by: needs to know at August 03, 2011 04:46 PM (R0aHf)
Posted by: USA at August 03, 2011 08:45 PM (6Cjut)
Not anymore. You'll tell parents what we tell you to tell parents.
(Awkward sentence construction ... sue me)
Posted by: Obamacare at August 03, 2011 04:47 PM (qiOph)
Posted by: Boss Moss at August 03, 2011 04:47 PM (jucos)
It never occured to me. I will have to try this.
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 04:48 PM (DKV43)
I am, but I'm also extremely clean.
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 08:47 PM (DKV43)
Uhhuh. We all know what that means. NTTAWWT.
Posted by: Obamacare at August 03, 2011 04:48 PM (qiOph)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 03, 2011 04:48 PM (UOM48)
No matter how you cook it save the grease, it's soap, fuel, lubricant. Probably lots of other uses I can't think of at the moment.
Posted by: Bob Saget has not been banned yet at August 03, 2011 04:49 PM (NLWij)
Posted by: Igor at August 03, 2011 04:50 PM (kUaEF)
Posted by: bho at August 03, 2011 04:50 PM (RStQc)
What the hell are you cooking it with? A clay pot and campfire?
I pour out the grease, give the pan a quick wipedown with a paper towel, give it a quick once-over with a soapy sponge, rinse, done. Takes all of 20 seconds. Less if I just set the pan on the floor when I'm done eating and let the dog take care of it.
I refuse to acknowledge any amount of food as a "meal" if at least 50% of it isn't meat.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 03, 2011 04:50 PM (SY2Kh)
This is how I make all my bacon now. Comes out great and easy clean-up. 25 minutes at 350oF; a little longer if you want extra crispy.
Posted by: GnuBreed at August 03, 2011 04:52 PM (ENKCw)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 04:52 PM (cbyrC)
Posted by: nerdygirl at August 03, 2011 04:52 PM (fHjuj)
Boy, I hope you aired out his room once in a while!Posted by: CoolCzech at August 03, 2011 04:52 PM (kUaEF)
I had a large, badly trained welsh pony when I was a kid. I can't even count the number of times I fell off that lunatic. Cereal was nothing by comparison.
Posted by: nerdygirl at August 03, 2011 08:33 PM (fHjuj)
you just described my childhood in two paragraphs. My pony was named Midnight and we were hellions. We did terrible things to each other, and to the neighborhood.
Posted by: Gushka still hasnt settled down at August 03, 2011 04:53 PM (QNeKQ)
Posted by: gm at August 03, 2011 04:53 PM (K0tm3)
Posted by: The Law Offices of Class Action Shakedown, Inc. at August 03, 2011 04:53 PM (ijjAe)
I refuse to acknowledge any amount of food as a "meal" if at least 50% of it isn't meat.
You'd love my pie.
Posted by: Roseanne Barr at August 03, 2011 04:54 PM (tmdlA)
Posted by: needs to know at August 03, 2011 04:54 PM (R0aHf)
@107: "I only eat Colon Blow® anyway. It has twice the fiber of raw twine."
Good old Dennis Wolfberg. Went waaaay to soon.
*pours out a 40 for him and Richard Jeni*
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at August 03, 2011 04:55 PM (xy9wk)
It was suggested to me that maybe they're trying to dumb down our kids by taking away the sugar that powers their (and our) brains.
Nah... it can't be that premeditated, can it?
Posted by: soulpile is... expendable, gop b., s.a. at August 03, 2011 04:57 PM (afWhQ)
Posted by: gm at August 03, 2011 04:57 PM (K0tm3)
Posted by: nerdygirl at August 03, 2011 04:57 PM (fHjuj)
I am, but I'm also extremely clean.
Posted by: Ben at August 03, 2011 08:47 PM (DKV43)
Thanks for keeping the population in check.
Posted by: garrett at August 03, 2011 04:58 PM (tmdlA)
Maybe the unpasteurized milk conspiratorists (is that word) are more powerful than they want us to know about so they'll get rid of the cereal as a way of combating the raw milk cartels???
Posted by: needs to know at August 03, 2011 04:58 PM (R0aHf)
Posted by: Chairman LMAO at August 03, 2011 04:59 PM (9eDbm)
Hell, they've already taken away the fat.
Posted by: Moochelle at August 03, 2011 05:01 PM (oOs0p)
Posted by: CoolCzech at August 03, 2011 05:02 PM (kUaEF)
Posted by: nerdygirl at August 03, 2011 05:03 PM (fHjuj)
Posted by: garrett at August 03, 2011 05:03 PM (tmdlA)
LOL. So true.
Posted by: Retread at August 03, 2011 05:05 PM (BO5ap)
No matter how you cook it save the grease, it's soap, fuel, lubricant.
Bacon and deviant sex? Decadent.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 03, 2011 05:06 PM (71Fka)
Yeah, I used to eat cocoa krispies, but then I grew pubic hair and started eating big boy food :p
Actually, it's more a matter of having lost my taste for sweet stuff- I almost never eat candy, cake, pie, or other sugary foods unless it's served at a family dinner or something like that. Not out of a concern for my health, but just lack of interest. Hell, I don't even like sweetened chewing tobacco or honey-wheat beers for being too sweet.
The last time I bought raw sugar was a box of sugar cubes about 3 years ago that's still in my cabinet.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 03, 2011 05:09 PM (SY2Kh)
I hope Indra Nooyi loses her middle finger to a bottling machine.
Could not have said it better myself. Did you know that Pepsi is flavored with the crushed hopes and dreams of their employees? It's true.
Oh, and Indra, you can take those worthless stock options and shove them.
-10 Year Pepsi (former) guy who now drinks only Coke
Posted by: Duke Lowell at August 03, 2011 05:10 PM (z1uR7)
@190: "No matter how you cook it save the grease, it's soap, fuel, lubricant. Probably lots of other uses I can't think of at the moment."
Have you learned nothing from me?
Posted by: Zombie Tyler Durden at August 03, 2011 05:10 PM (xy9wk)
Posted by: nerdygirl at August 03, 2011 05:11 PM (fHjuj)
Posted by: 2549 at August 03, 2011 05:11 PM (kvxPn)
I don't know about that, but it does use aborted fetal cells for its diet soda research.
Posted by: Lauren at August 03, 2011 05:12 PM (oOs0p)
Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at August 03, 2011 05:14 PM (MyByM)
The next president needs to scrub these Big Brother agencies clean and throw out anything with a date after Jan. 20, 2009.
Obama and his activist departments, czars, et al have been issuing non-democratic edicts in furtherance of their radical agenda, and it's time to junk it all and put these bureaucrats on the breadline.
Posted by: nickless at August 03, 2011 05:15 PM (MMC8r)
Not entirely true. Urban legend...Oh, what am I saying? Anything that speeds the demise of Satan's Soda is a good thing. Did you know that every time you drink a Pepsi God kills a kitten?
Posted by: Duke Lowell at August 03, 2011 05:18 PM (m7Pub)
I don't know about that, but it does use aborted fetal cells for its diet soda research.
What a waste...you can make an entire Shaky's Pizza franchise out of those!
Posted by: Eric Cartman at August 03, 2011 05:21 PM (tmdlA)
Guys, this could be a win. Can't market Wheaties to kids? Fine, just show Christine Hendricks rolling naked in a giant tub of them.
Posted by: arhooley at August 03, 2011 05:22 PM (j85aA)
Posted by: Brendon Carr at August 03, 2011 05:22 PM (BxkOB)
Posted by: As IF... at August 03, 2011 05:24 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: dogfish at August 03, 2011 05:33 PM (r8dGE)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 05:34 PM (cbyrC)
Posted by: rockmom at August 03, 2011 05:44 PM (lSyyU)
Postings like this one make me look at those parts of Ann's book as an instruction manual.
Posted by: snookered at August 03, 2011 05:56 PM (0cBMc)
I had to switch from Cope to Skoal Classic Long Cut (unflavored) about ten years ago because it takes me over a week to get through a tin, and a fiber tin won't last that long. I can get that only at Costco, though.
Nope- I stick with unflavored. Tried a couple flavored kinds, didn't care for them. I once made the mistake of buying the long cut pouch tobacco, the sweet molasses flavor was way too overpowering. Think I ended up tossing it out.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 03, 2011 05:59 PM (SY2Kh)
Posted by: Cop Acting Stupidly at August 03, 2011 06:08 PM (+6REq)
It's true. They contract with Senomyx, who use human embryonic kidney cells in their "flavor development" dpt.
Posted by: Lauren at August 03, 2011 06:15 PM (qgh2P)
And the first bulb company or cereal company that makes a commercial detailing what the government is doing to them and how they do not intend to comply will get a ton of support.
We have reached a tipping point and I expect to see some sort of defiance crop up along these lines. Eventually when you take, and take, and take you reach a point where people don't have anything to lose anymore. When you criminalize working you shouldn't be surprised if the unemployment rate skyrockets.
Posted by: Voluble at August 03, 2011 06:30 PM (JKX4x)
Posted by: Jean at August 03, 2011 06:44 PM (7P7Ij)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 06:48 PM (cbyrC)
Posted by: OxyCon at August 03, 2011 06:55 PM (Kmnf5)
Really, what would we do without the federal government?
Other than prosper and enjoy a nice bowl of cereal, that is.
On my days off, when I get up in the morning, depending on which one I have a Jones for, I'll down a big bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, Cocoa Krispies, or Corn Pops.
Fuck the government.Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at August 03, 2011 07:03 PM (UF15p)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at August 03, 2011 07:19 PM (cbyrC)
Since when is RAISIN BRAN marketed to children?!
Posted by: Steve the Pirate's wife at August 03, 2011 07:20 PM (B0893)
Am I wrong?
Posted by: MayBee at August 03, 2011 07:44 PM (PLixr)
Posted by: California Doomin at August 03, 2011 08:10 PM (8DdAv)
You need to email these companies and refuse to buy any government-tainted food.
Posted by: PJ at August 03, 2011 08:15 PM (FlVA8)
Posted by: that's Hedley, Hedley at August 03, 2011 08:45 PM (pnDL7)
Posted by: Hopp at August 04, 2011 02:16 AM (/uZmq)
Posted by: Case at August 04, 2011 03:01 AM (DYR2Q)
Has it worked? No, McDonald's is doing great. Despite decades of government telling us how bad their food is for us, people still go to McDonald's in record numbers. Their revenues, unlike a lot of restaurant chains in this recession, are up.
So, this doomsaying about billions and trillions lost to cereal companies is a lot of overwrought hyperbolic hand-wringing.
I'm sure everyone will abruptly stop eating cereal because of these voluntary guidelines. Without Lucky the Leprechaun and Tony the Tiger on every day, cereal will disappear from shoppers' minds. They'll wheel their carts past the cereal aisle in the supermarket, and wonder 'what are THOSE things?' because there are no more commercials on Disney and Nick.
Cereal. Antique light bulbs.
Conservatives sure pick funny things to worry about.
Posted by: JEA at August 04, 2011 04:10 AM (LTquJ)
"Really, what would we do without the federal government?"
Silly, didn't you realise that after all the new regulations come in the only place to go for a job will be the government. Game, set, match. The ratbags have won.
Posted by: davod at August 04, 2011 04:34 AM (C5U9L)
Posted by: davod at August 04, 2011 04:38 AM (C5U9L)
Posted by: deadrody at August 04, 2011 06:33 AM (GJhuj)
Posted by: Running Hobo at August 04, 2011 07:47 AM (l1oyw)
Cheerios: I recall a test of cereals by ...I think it was Consumer Reports ...in the 70's or '80's comparing various cereals. With lab rats (not people).
The rats were fed ONLY [one type of] boxed cereal.
After varying amounts of time, the lab rats all died. They couldn't breed viable embryos. Regardless of the brand & cereal.
Well, almost all died.
The ones fed Cheerios? They not only didn't die, they thrived. They grew fat. They had babies.
Cheerios?
Frelling government spawn from hell idjits. I'd buy 'em a clue, but they wouldn't know what to do with it.
Fire.Them.All.
Posted by: davisbr at August 04, 2011 08:26 AM (uCShA)
Posted by: Jimmy Choo at August 04, 2011 06:48 PM (ms78E)
Posted by: Alan Kellogg at August 05, 2011 11:32 AM (kN/gH)
Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top
64 queries taking 0.215 seconds, 383 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.
Posted by: izoneguy at August 03, 2011 03:57 PM (i6Neb)