1
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2 The Superman thing doesn't bother me, but seeing Jughead in a Ché t-shirt was the last straw.

3
Who's writing this crap? Jack Stuef?

Gotta be some dorky 20-something year old know-it-all ignoramus who was educated by Adult Swim.

4 I'm waiting for Palin Steele to weigh in on this...

5 Remember it's Superman, not Supersmart

6 I want to know why Marvel has a character who is a lawyer, dresses up like the devil and is supposed to be the good guy.

7

Yes, but will Superman need work Visas when he goes around saving everybody in the future. It wouldn't be good to give millions of people the idea that it's alright to work in the United States without the proper papers if you're not a citizen.

And for the record, the renunciation of citizenship won't make it any harder for Superman to get a work Visa; there's no black mark against his name for renouncing citizenship.

 

8 I have switched to anime and manga. American Comics haven't been fun in a very long time.

9 Not sure what they'd do about Metropolis, since the Marvel Universe has avoided the Madeupopolis syndrome that was big at DC.


you mean like NYC in Marvel where everyone lives?


Gotta be some dorky 20-something year old know-it-all ignoramus who was educated by Adult Swim.

Posted by: crouching soothsayer, hidden soothsayer at April 28, 2011 03:05 PM (uFokq)

David S Goyer (writer for the Nolan Batman movies and a huge list of other stuff)

10 Superman was always the worst superhero anyway. He had every power in the book, and was basically a god. A hero is also defined by his villians, Batman and Joker, Spiderman and Venom, ect ect. Who the fuck does Superman have? A bald rich guy and a midget who dies if he says his name backwards. Talk about stupid.

11 By the way, he could have avoided all this. Didn't Superman see his (fourth) movie?

I mean, he'd be the only one, but still...

12 Yeah. Tony Stark renounced weapons manufacturing. And spent the next few years perfecting his new line of Murder Suits. Liberals are fucking STOOPID.

13
The Batman movies, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Batman Queefs, all suck.

Okay, Batman Begins was good.

The Dark Knight sucked eggs.

14

Stuipd.  If I was an Iranian protestor getting slaughtered, I don't think I'd have much use for a Superman who would sit and watch me get slaughtered while not actively overthrowing my slaughterers.

By sitting with them, he chose a side.

Then he chose to do nothing for that side.

He should renounce himself.

15 Superman was always the worst superhero anyway. He had every power in the book, and was basically a god. A hero is also defined by his villians, Batman and Joker, Spiderman and Venom, ect ect. Who the fuck does Superman have? A bald rich guy and a midget who dies if he says his name backwards. Talk about stupid.

Posted by: Mr Pink at April 28, 2011 03:08 PM (TSzW4)

Doomsday though looked retarded was a good villain for Supes. Sure, the aftermath was complete shit but the actual death of Superman storyline was really good

16 In related news Bizarro Superman jumped the fence on our southern border and applied for a green card

17 The vast majority of popular entertainment has a baldfaced leftist bent. Defund anti-piracy enforcement now. Make these fuckers' copyrighted holdings worthless.

18 I used to collect Spiderman comics when I was a kid. I have a bunch, probably a fair amount of valuable ones too. If the economy picks up I'll probably sell most of them off.

19 Ok, I really this is not the big issue of the day but this pisses me off. As someone who was old enough to grow up with the original Superman series on TV this is slap. Superman was always about "The American Way" not the multi-culti citizen of the world crap. Of course, way back then when the dinosaurs walked he earth there actually was an American way and people were proud to stand for it. Now it seems the American way is dressing up like Jesus and swinging your dick in the breeze. When you stop by the UN, Superman, by sure to say hi to the newest member of the UN Human Rights Council, Syria.

20 Just what I've been trying to tell you idiots for awhile - Supes is a big, dumb Boy Scout. 

21 I want to see Supermans Birth Certificate.

22 If Superman goes to Marvel, I'm never buying anything Superman again. They'll "Captain America" him. Marvel is without a doubt got a Liberal agenda.

23

Yeah. Tony Stark renounced weapons manufacturing.

And spent the next few years perfecting his new line of Murder Suits.

Liberals are fucking STOOPID.

Also, the opening scene in Iron Man 2 is a mix of a speech from Atlas Shrugged and the congressional inquiry of Howard Hughes.

I can't imagine that was lost on anyone with a brain.

24 Okay, Batman Begins was good.

You're just saying that because we get to see Katie's nips in that tight sweater near the end.

25

I don't care how those clowns spin it, Superman used to stand for truth, justice, and the American way. Now he stands for lies, social justice, and the anti-American way. People aren't that stupid, they will see the obvious. Screw Marvel, and the bitch Disney they ride on.

BTW, more good news.

26 I hear that Superman tried to claim he lives full-time in Canada (Northwest Territories), but New York State is taxing him for the time he spent saving a school bus from falling off the Brooklyn Bridge.

27

Ummmmmm, Superman is clearly not even possible in our universe, otherwise he would be the king of the world, either as a tyrant or at the very least as a beneficint dictator.  He's freaking SUPERMAN, for crying out loud.  He could overthrow the Iranian gov't in about 3.2 seconds, and put himself or his puppet in charge, with no doubt better results than if the US military did the same.  One by one, he would find a justification for doing the same with all other earthly governments, including the US one.  Since he's immortal, he would sooner or later establish worship of himself as a kind of a God-King Pharoah of Earth.

And we're getting all hissy-fitted because he is renoucing his US citizenship?  Sheesh!

28 He's renouncing his US citizenship at the UN!! It doesn't get much dumber than that. Then, he's holding a big rally in Berlin. Posted by: iknowtheleft at April 28, 2011 03:13 PM (G/MYk) Reminds me of someone, but I just can't put my finger on it?

29 22 Hahaahahah

30 >>>Ok, I really this is not the big issue of the day but this pisses me off. As someone who was old enough to grow up with the original Superman series on TV this is slap. Superman was always about "The American Way" not the multi-culti citizen of the world crap. Yeah, it annoys me too, and is clearly designed to appeal to liberals or foreigners who apparently resent America so much they won't consume media containing an American citizen as hero. I'm just saying, they did contrive a way to avoid making it a blatant announcement of politics.

31 What next? Steve Canyon revived to pass military secrets to Wikileaks?

In fairness, as Ed "Poppin' Fresh" Morrissey would say, we have to respect Superman's right to freely express his political beliefs. First Amendment, you know. And he could be President, too, what with the requirements for natural-born citizens having been flushed down the sewer in '08....

The poor bastard is probably just confused, what with Osama Obama -- a particularly awful comic-book figure himself, suckin' on the toes of terrorists and tin-pot dictators who would dearly love to put the screws to the USA.

Someone needs to stick some Kryptonite up the Supe's posterior.

32 I used to collect Spiderman comics when I was a kid. I have a bunch, probably a fair amount of valuable ones too. If the economy picks up I'll probably sell most of them off.

Posted by: Ben at April 28, 2011 03:12 PM (wuv1c)

even before the economy took a shit, the only things worth anything were first appearances. Their collect ability has gone the way of sports cards. Some people blame Valiant and others blame Image in the early 90's

33 sick

34 Never trust a man who runs around in a cape and tights.

35
Captain Marvel.
Where do I begin?

Hydrox^® cookies.

Enough said.

36

1. He was standing with, and in support of, Iranian protesters, who were, I guess, not being supported by the US government.

Yeah, but isn't he supporting the protesters, um, nonviolently?  Thanks Supes, thanks a whole lot - the mullahs will undoubtedly respect your stands while they gun down the resistors as you look on. 

Maybe they unwittingly are using Superman as a metaphor for American ineptness and inaction under the reign of Sissypants?

37 Maybe Superman is no getting laid enough?

38
Never trust a man who runs around in a cape and tights.

How else will we conquer Dr Evil Unemployment?

39

I figured Superman already had renounced his citizenship the first time he went an apologized to the dictator of Krapistan. Besides, I liked calling him SuperDude instead.

Wait. We're not talking about Obama?

40 Also, Superman comics exist with the fucking biggest plot holes ever. Much like horror mivies have to have a mysterious cell phone dead zone sprong up whenever the murderer is close, Superman villians all most have a supposedly super rare meteorite that blasted down to earth in the 50s. I mean wtf do they pass that shit around like a joint?

41 "You've got to be carefully taught....."

42

even before the economy took a shit, the only things worth anything were first appearances. Their collect ability has gone the way of sports cards. Some people blame Valiant and others blame Image in the early 90's

I have a bunch of first appearance ones.

I probably have a sh*tload of worthless ones two, but I was a fairly avid collecter.  I bought the ones where new villans appeared or old villans were killed off.

This is in the early 1990s.

43

I switched to girls. Then women.

Sadly, after marriage, I have just switched to getting blindly blasted after the end of a long day.

Thread winner

44 DC famously sued Captain Marvel/Shazam! out of existence in like the 50s. I no expert on this but I think I saw him in something just recently.

45

Not really sure why this bothers me so much, but it does. It also surprises me that Superman didnt renounce his citizenship when Bush was president, like so many other liberals did. It saddens me that (even though Superman is fictitious) a character whose writers his career fighting crime and then went on to fight Hitler and Tojo now has writers that find it necessary (under the very same umbrella of protection provided by the grandsons of those Superman "fought" Hitler with) to denounce this country.

Or maybe I just think too much.   

46 And we're getting all hissy-fitted because he is renoucing his US citizenship?  Sheesh! Your a fag LOL

47

Posted by: Mr Pink at April 28, 2011 03:08 PM (TSzW4)

I agree with you about a hero being defined by the villains he fights. The 90's (?) cartoon Superman had some good villains that used to kick Superman around a lot.

Justice League also had powerful villains too. However, any Justice League villain that the team was fighting had to be as strong or stronger than Superman. That just makes Batman even more amazing since he's going into the same fights at Superman minus the powers. That's why Batman rules.

48 Typing on my cell phone makes me look retarded.

49

That's right. You didn't say it.

Integrative Complexity

Because, like it or not, the audience for these comics is comprised of the living-in-Mom's-basement, Doritos-knoshing and Dew-swilling twenty-somethings who have ceased looking for work (after one half-hearted attempt) and these stories offer them hope: hope for a brighter future in which superhero powers are redistributed among us all and even they can become somebody at long last.

50 I'm guessing Superman will be beating up a pastor who burned the koran in the near future.  Since he's a world citizen now he can adopt the rest of the world's more progressive views on freedom of speech.

51 Would that make Clark Kent an illegal alien? Freaking space back.

52 DC famously sued Captain Marvel/Shazam! out of existence in like the 50s.







I no expert on this but I think I saw him in something just recently.


He's been in the new Batman cartoon, this much I know.

53 Hummmm, Voice of Reason troll rings a bell, much search memory banks.........

54 A superman that does not stand for America as an ideal is like straight-edge rock. It means it is time to fire the marketing consultants.

What I want to know is when will barry renounce his citizenship?

55 Seriously, Voice of Douche. Did you just tell us to calm down because Superman isn't real? Dynamite reasoning, sooper jeanyuss! That philosophy degree is really paying off.

56 44 Also, Superman comics exist with the fucking biggest plot holes ever. Much like horror mivies have to have a mysterious cell phone dead zone sprong up whenever the murderer is close, Superman villians all most have a supposedly super rare meteorite that blasted down to earth in the 50s. I mean wtf do they pass that shit around like a joint?

And he always has a new super-power to whip out for plot convenience.  (Famous reference: Superman 2, when Superman threw his chest emblem at one of the enemies to wrap him up - WTF power was that?). 

57

I cannot believe people are trying to defend this utter nonsense..  The goal of the lefty's is they want Superman to be a defender of illegal aliens in their conquest to destroy the evil white man.

This whole plausible Iranian protest BS is just a device to take us there.  The people writing this comic are not your friend.  They hate you.  They hate everything about the US.  I would think after the Captain America beating up tea party members would have been a clue to this fact.

 

Superman is no longer a fun little comic book.  Its now being used by marxists to overthrow their white oppressors.  (yeah.. considering 75% of the people defending him are white is pure eye gouging comedy)

58
Posted by: the halfhearted hooting of a mournful owl

heheh

Originality: 10
Pith: 5

59

Eh. I am thinking way too much about this.

Posted by: Ace at 02:59 PM

Yes.....yes you are.

Movies are produced in Hollywood.  Hollywood is ashamed to be in America, so it's only natural that they would strip the American Pride angle from everything it does.  That being said, much like honey badger, I give a shit......

60 I just hope he holds the koran in two hands...

before he RIPS IT IN HALF!


Oh,  man.  Would that be awesome or what?

61 52
Typing on my cell phone makes me look retarded.
Posted by: Mr Pink at April 28, 2011 03:20 PM (TSzW4)

Yeah, and if you'd stop using the hammer to do it, it may last longer, too.

62 OT on immigration talks - this will surely turn your stomach

63 yeah Billy Batson and Captain Marvel have always been around with some off years due to legal troubles. Batson has always been akin to Prince Adam to Captain Marvel's He-Man, the little shits can go fuck themselves while the biggies kick ass

64

What would happen if Superman used VIAGRA and had a steel erection that lasted more than 4 hours????

Is there KrYptonite lotion???

65 Next he should renounce his superpowers since it is not really fair. Make him walk really fast instead of fly.

66 Next episode of the Supes he will be wearing an Obama tshirt with the O symbol and beating the shit out of racist tea partiers with his new sidekick, Racheal "the Martian WomanHunter" Maddow.

67 Meh.  This is pushing the needle into red territory on the Bore-O-Meter.  Not enough momentum to knock Kate & Wills out of top spot though.

68

Superman didn't renounce his U.S. citizenship because of anything Iran did; that's just a pretext.  He renounced it because he can't stand the fact that a black man is president!  Superman is a raaaaacist!

69 Voice of Reason.....nodrog?

70 >>>And he always has a new super-power to whip out for plot convenience. (Famous reference: Superman 2, when Superman threw his chest emblem at one of the enemies to wrap him up - WTF power was that?). yeah, that was the Silver Age version, I think. Since the Crisis (don't ask), they addressed that problem and limited superman's powers to the known ones and reduced his strength and such. They also took away his super-intelligence and super-kryptonian-science-expertise, mostly. He used to be the All Being, smarter than Batman too, but they realized that's a dead end and tried to make him less powerful and in more consistently defined ways.

71
redrum

72 Did Superman ever become a citizen in the first place? Otherwise he's pretty much an illegal alien. In both senses of the word.

And, if that's the case, how can you renounce what you never had?

73 The New Superman: Now fighting for Truth, Justice, and Combating Negative Stereotypes of Islam Wherever They Occur.

74 62 -- I get the feeling race is sort of high on your subjects-of-interest list.

75 1
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Posted by: crouching soothsayer, hidden soothsayer at April 28, 2011 03:03 PM (uFokq)

That's the lower tier of service, try standing up straight

76 Oh my gosh1  How awesome would it be if Superman keeps taking shit from the Iranians, like "Why don't you renounce being... a dude!" and shit like that so he finally gets all frustrated and shit and flies over mecca and hovers while he RUBS ONE OUT!  I would totally buy that!

77 54 I'm guessing Superman will be beating up a pastor who burned the koran in the near future.  Since he's a world citizen now he can adopt the rest of the world's more progressive views on freedom of speech.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 28, 2011 03:20 PM (FkKjr)

So if Supergirl's in a burkha, does she have to...close the bottom somehow?

78
remember CLARK bars?

They're like $100,000 bars except crunchy...

like FIGS.

79 This is the problem with liberals.  They don't know where the line is between reality and make-believe. 

Also, the Joker is racist.

80 Superman is gay, and so is that Clark Kent squish at work.

81

I saw this black superman once.    His cape was so finely creased.    Hmmmmmmmmmm.   Couldn't be.

82 Now fighting for Truth, Justice, and Combating Negative Stereotypes of Islam Wherever They Occur.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 28, 2011 03:27 PM (W7Ddq)

His most formidible opponent in that quest is....................Islam.

83 >>>Did Superman ever become a citizen in the first place? Otherwise he's pretty much an illegal alien. In both senses of the word. I just read about this, I think in the first article I linked -- actually, they changed his origin story so he was placed in the krypton rocket not as a BABY but as an EMBRYO in a shipboard 'birthing matrix." Long story short: He was born, actually born, upon the rocket's crashing on Earth, in Kansas... so technically he was born in America and thus a citizen by birth. Yeah, just read that. I don't know this crap off the top of my head, please believe that.

84 Posted by: ace at April 28, 2011 03:26 PM (nj1bB)

I read that a lot of the powers -- heat vision, cold breath -- were invented as deus ex machina in the radio serial.

85 I read the first three paragraphs trying to puzzle out to whom the Superman metaphor was being applied. Until it dawned on that you were really talking about ... um ... Superman.

86 The most interesting thing about Superman, Batman, and all the Disney characters, as far as politics, is how the government always extends copyright protection whenever these key corporate properties are going to lose IP protection.

Well lets see.
*Does magic math*
That would mean Superman (Action comics 1) loses copyright in 2033. Well they only have another 20 or so years with this property anyway.

87 f'ing sock....

88 The new superhero is Prolixman.

Because I have never read so many words, sideline drama and intellectual meandering on a stupid superhero. 

89 Kinda odd timing when they're about to allow caped dandies in the military.

90 72
Next he should renounce his superpowers since it is not really fair. Make him walk really fast instead of fly.
Posted by: trump's weasel at April 28, 2011 03:24 PM (uz3hs)

This reminds me of an episode of Family Guy in which exposure to toxic waste imparted superhero powers to the Griffin family and daughter Meg's power was ... her fingernails grew really fast ... that's it.

91 Speaking of the UN... >>The head of the International Atomic Energy Agency said for the first time that a target destroyed by Israeli warplanes in the Syrian desert in 2007 was the covert site of a future nuclear reactor, countering assertions by Syria that it had no atomic secrets. http://tinyurl.com/6au3cpk Huh, who woulda guessed? I wonder what those trucks leaving Iraq for Syria right before the war were up to?

92

Since the US won't let you go stateless, it'd be nice if Superman rails against the oppressively large, tyrannical Obama government after they deny him his renunciation papers.

Since that won't happen, the next cover could be Superman handing the government his check for $495 to get his papers after waiting in a very long line in Iran's American embassy.

93

Are they letting the woman who played Lois Lane in the movies write these comics?

94 I lost respect for Superman when he needed help from Richard Pryor to beat Lex Luthor, or whatever.

95

I thought this thread was about me for a minute.

Wasn't I awesome last night ?

96 He was standing with, and in support of, Iranian protesters, who were, I guess, not being supported by the US government.

And he's fucking Superman, so he could smite yon (and subsequent) enemies of freedom in about .0000000000000000001 seconds—and he never, ever does, so he can adopt the boring real-world poses his writers would adopt if they were given the barely imaginable superpower of not being cowering nerdo jackbags.

I know they give other excuses. But that's the reason.

Worst. Mary Sue. Ever.

97 Yeah, just read that. I don't know this crap off the top of my head, please believe that.

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2011 03:30 PM (nj1bB)

hell, neither do I, that's why I ask a smart military blog this stuff.

98 Is it an attempt to make Superman "politically relevant" in a way that is designed to appeal to liberal bien pensants?

I think it's less about American liberals than it is about international markets.  How do you get sneering Euros to take their kids to a Superman movie if the character is so identified with the US?

This way he's not an American at all.  They can have him move to Paris and date a Moroccan.

99 Kneel before Zod!

100 Comics?  Really?  I thought the only use for those were for boys to enjoy until they found their dad's pron stash.  I could be wrong . . .

Anyway - OT:

For Wisconsin docs, fake sick notes mean real trouble

101 If Superman goes stateless, does that mean Supergirl will inevitably go topless? I think we could all agree on Superboobs.

102 This reminds me of an episode of Family Guy in which exposure to toxic waste imparted superhero powers to the Griffin family and daughter Meg's power was ... her fingernails grew really fast ... that's it.

lol, I remember that episode (Season 2 or 3, I think), when Family Guy was actually good and didn't, um, how shall I say it,  insist on itself so much? 

Oh, and kneel before Zod! 

103 When capes become standard issue at the unemployment office, everyone is a superhero.

104 What will Muslim-friendly Superman do next? I hope he offers laser-clitorectomies with his heat-vision to all the happy little Muslim girls for FREE! Superman: Now with Free Health Care!

105 Good novel with lots of direct parallels to the Superman lawsuits/artists rights stuff: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon. I'm sure many of you have read it, and I heartily recommend it to everyone else who enjoys historical novels of any bent.

106 Ha Kratos

107

How long before Superman shows up at the Folsom Street Festival, getting a hand job on stage in front of 5000 screaming perverts?

108 >>>I read that a lot of the powers -- heat vision, cold breath -- were invented as deus ex machina in the radio serial. yeah... and flying was invented for TV. Before that, as the radio show said, he could only "leap tall buildings in a single bound." But it's very hard to show someone jumping long distances and relatively easy to hang him from wires and make a sssshhhh--ssshhh sound. So tv made him fly. Certain rights to these powers are in DC's hands, because they invented them... Siegel an Shuster are apparently arguing about the original version of superman, the non flying one.

109 I lost respect for Superman when he needed help from Richard Pryor to beat Lex Luthor, or whatever.

Posted by: © Sponge at April 28, 2011 03:33 PM (UK9cE)

I lost respect for him when he chose Margot Kidder over Valerie Perrine. I mean not even a quick motorboat? Come on!

110 I thought he fell off a horse and broke his neck. That and he ate embryos. I saw this on TeeVee so it must be true. Didn't 60 Minutes cover it or something? Some super powers.

111

I lost respect for him when he chose Margot Kidder over Valerie Perrine. I mean not even a quick motorboat? Come on!

Posted by: Rocks at April 28, 2011 03:36 PM (Q1lie)

Good point.

He has a super penis...how he wasn't laying super pipe, I'll never know...the fucking homo.  

112 Superman also has the dumbest alter ego of anyone. I mean the guy could be anything he wanted but he picked a fucking pussy left wing journalist. Then he moons around after a raging bulldyke named Loius Lane who treats him like shit.

113 Yeah, just read that. I don't know this crap off the top of my head, please believe that.

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2011 03:30 PM (nj1bB)

I LOLed when I read 'Please believe that'

Too funny. Is that part of the Integrative Complexity you were talking about?

114

Posted by: Someone had to say it at April 28, 2011 03:35 PM (2zIm+)

Damn, you beat me to it by a matter of seconds. 

c'est la vie

Are they letting the woman who played Lois Lane in the movies write these comics?

Worse, the guy writing these comics is the same guy that directed Superman Returns, Bryan Singer.

115

It's a muddle. It probably should be a muddle, because when you're writing for a mass audience who doesn't really look to comic book stuff for their politics

 

Hammer on the nail.  That's why I come to AoSHQ for my daily dose of clear political commentary and fresh hobo meat. 

116

Posted by: Rocks

 

Are you implying that he's "AC-DC"?

117 'Superman' didn't renounce citizenship.  An editorial board, a company, and a bunch of fleabag writers renounced his citizenship.  Like the whole 'Murphy Brown's baby' furor, this is an editorial decision.  And, therefore, a statement.

Fuck them.

118 Next, Superman is going to lead the freedom flotilla into Gaza.

119

Got my three friends who had DCUO to cancel their subscriptions and explain to DC exactly why - that playing around a traitorous disloyal bitch (Supes without America) is sickening.

Cancelled my Station Pass as well and explained to SOE that since they collect money and run DC Universe Online, that they can pound sand up into their gaping rectum.

F#ck these motherf#cking America-hating c*ntish commie writers. First Captain America, then Wonder Woman, now Superman - all ruined by tiny-dicked marxists. Fuck them.

120 omics? Really? I thought the only use for those were for boys to enjoy until they found their dad's pron stash. I could be wrong . . . Anyway - OT: For Wisconsin docs, fake sick notes mean real trouble Posted by: momma Our toys are more powerful than most countries' weapons.

121

Ace!!  Stanley Ann Dunham was born in Kansas.

 

Just sayin'

122 actually DC doesn't own the copy right to the name captain marvel. marvel comics does, that's why the DC book is called shazam. even though it's hero is named captain marvel...

123 If Superman goes stateless, does that mean Supergirl will inevitably go topless?

I think we could all agree on Superboobs.

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 28, 2011 03:35 PM (kUaEF)

I.L.B.T's!!!!!! 

124 Ace, you are aware, of course, that Charles Johnson is really into comic boots too?

125

I've never been into superman, but I remember when i was like 12 or 14 that they killed superman didn't they?

It was in a comic that was the size of a book.

So did he come back to life or something?

126 116
>>>I read that a lot of the powers -- heat vision, cold breath -- were invented as deus ex machina in the radio serial.
yeah... and flying was invented for TV. Before that, as the radio show said, he could only "leap tall buildings in a single bound."
Posted by: ace at April 28, 2011 03:36 PM (nj1bB)

So, when he got to the city limits of Metropolis, beyond which there were no tall buildings, he had to walk like the rest of us? That's as humiliating as ... as ... as being Barky and having to show your birth certificate!

127

They still make comics?

128 Superman is a dick.

129

Superman doesn't emit CO2.    If we could only harness his power.

Think of all the green jobs.

130 Right on, Mr. Pink. If I was the Man of Steel, my Fortress of Solitude would have shag carpet and hot n' cold running bitchez.

131 61 44 Also, Superman comics exist with the fucking biggest plot holes ever. Much like horror mivies have to have a mysterious cell phone dead zone sprong up whenever the murderer is close, Superman villians all most have a supposedly super rare meteorite that blasted down to earth in the 50s. I mean wtf do they pass that shit around like a joint?

And he always has a new super-power to whip out for plot convenience.  (Famous reference: Superman 2, when Superman threw his chest emblem at one of the enemies to wrap him up - WTF power was that?). 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at April 28, 2011 03:23 PM (9hSKh)

No, the worst was in Superman IV when he literally rebuild the Great Wall of China that just got screwed up by looking at it with his... building shit by looking at it vision. WTF?

At least Fonzie  theoretically had the ability to  jump the goddamn shark

132

" First Captain America, then Wonder Woman, now Superman - all ruined by tiny-dicked marxists. "

Yeah, but we get to keep Gleek, The Wonder Twins AND The Atom!!!

133

Are you implying that he's "AC-DC"?

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 28, 2011 03:38 PM (xMT+4)

No. I always saw Superman as looking for a dominatrix. Lois Lane is a high maintenance bitch.

134

You know how you can see a twitter timeline and trending topics? I'd be interested to see that for these types of posts - more specifically on the male to female ratio.

Observational, not judgmental you understand....

135 supermans next gig will be quiting the Daily Planet and going to replace Keith Olberman on MSNBC

136 So did he come back to life or something?

The only people who can't ever come back from the dead in a comic book are Bruce Wayne's Parents and Spiderman's uncle.

137

Back when Superman stopped standing for "the American way" (in favor of all that stuff), I concluded that he had been retconned to be from Uranus, rather than Krypton.

So I don't really care.

138 Can we call this "unAmerican"?

139

Ten bucks says he wears a pink cape for next year's Women's Health Day.

140 Why all this talk of Superman Renouncing Citizenship.  I thought he loved being President and reveled in the power?

141 the only good story featuring Superman was when Batman beat his pansy ass to a standstill in "The Dark Knight Returns"

142

The wonder twins were teh gay.

It could have been cool, lilke if the wonder twins were hot blondes and every so often one used thier powers to the form of a vibrator....

I don't know whats worse in that joke. The incest perversion or the fact I know what thier powers are...

143

No, the worst was in Superman IV when he literally rebuild the Great Wall of China that just got screwed up by looking at it with his... building shit by looking at it vision. WTF?

Thankfully, the only part I saw of Superman IV was when Nuclear Man (I think that was his name) got dropped into a nuclear reactor.  But that made-up power beats the "emblem bondage" power in terms of sheer absurdity. 

144 Can we call this "unAmerican"?

Posted by: cherry π at April 28, 2011 03:45 PM (+sBB4)

No, but taking over day to day operations of a failing baseball organization by force can be. 

145 I hope he offers laser-clitorectomies with his heat-vision to all the happy little Muslim girls for FREE!

Superman: Now with Free Health Care!

Posted by: Empire of Jeff

you have the oddest thoughts I've ever read.

146

How can I renounce my citizenship when I'm not really a citizen?

Oh, you meant the other "Superman"....

147

Oh Wait: Captain Marvel is now non-infringing only because the same company owns the original character and the character a lawsuit found to be infringing.

If Superman and all rights thereto pass to the Siegel/Shuster families, that means... they could sue over Captain Marvel, alleging the same infringement DC once did. And DC would have to argue... Shazam was infringing when we had Superman but now that we don't he's not.

Eh. I am thinking way too much about this.

Posted by Ace at 02:59 PM   Integrative Complexity: Now availible in tights!

148 Superman participates in a non-violent protest?  OK.  That's nothing.  In the next issue, he hands out condoms in front of Planned Parenthood and announces he's bisexual.  And he cries just a little, like the indian in the pollution commercial.  For mankind.  And the environment.   

149 That would be an ice vibrator, right...?

150 NERDS!!!!!

151 I suggest that everyone find and read the short story, "Man of Steel, woman of kleenex" by Larry Niven.

152 Half assed way to separate Superman from American Patriotism, which is espoused by those dumb, redneck,racist tea baggers. More assholes in the entertainment industry, big surprise. Anyway, the real question is: does Superman use his x-ray vision to see women naked? Well, maybe not Helen Thomas or Rosie O'Dumbell.

153 144 So did he come back to life or something?

The only people who can't ever come back from the dead in a comic book are Bruce Wayne's Parents and Spiderman's uncle.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 28, 2011 03:45 PM (FkKjr)

The rule also used to include Bucky, but.... fuck he did.

Also ashamed to know this.

154 OT, but WTF, did I miss something?

President Obama lauds Leon Panetta's management skills as `exactly what we need' for next defense secretary - AP

Wonderful. 

155

I don't know whats worse in that joke. The incest perversion or the fact I know what thier powers are...

Posted by: JollyRoger at April 28, 2011 03:46 PM (NCw5u)

They're both pretty equal there.....you should be ashamed either way.

156 I guess Superman is all iconic and such, but as a kid I never really got into him. I much preferred Sgt Rock and Sgt Fury. Those guys were mere mortals but were able to down NAZIs by the dozens. Each and every month. I doubt they would be renouncing their citizenship. But then again, in NYC anything is possible. You really don't want to be hassled by your cab driver and all.

157 I gave up on comic books when Marvel turned Captain America into a platitude-spewing leftist turd. Fuck that noise. (Besides, Green Arrow was always the leftist hippie of the bunch; turn Cap into a hippie and what's Oliver going to do then? Sell cookies?) But at least we'll still have Batman. The Batman does. not. placate. In fact, in The Dark Knight Returns book, Batman kicked Superman's ass. Therefore Batman > Superman anyway.

158 OFF damn sock.

159 156 Superman participates in a non-violent protest?  OK.  That's nothing.  In the next issue, he hands out condoms in front of Planned Parenthood and announces he's bisexual.  And he cries just a little, like the indian in the pollution commercial.  For mankind.  And the environment.   
Next thing you know, Superman will become DC's version of "Captain Planet". 

160

You know how you can see a twitter timeline and trending topics? I'd be interested to see that for these types of posts - more specifically on the male to female ratio.

Observational, not judgmental you understand....

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 28, 2011 03:43 PM (pLTLS)

 

Oh yeah?  Your point being.......??

161 Actually, Green Arrow is in the DC stable; who am I thinking of on the Marvel side?

162 144
The only people who can't ever come back from the dead in a comic book are Bruce Wayne's Parents and Spiderman's uncle.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 28, 2011 03:45 PM (FkKjr)

Do you mean to tell me that Peter Parker's Aunt May has not yet assumed room temperature? Jeebus! She looked as old as Mary Worth does now when Mary Worth was still hawt! Ol' May must have a second job in one of those series of vampire "graphic novels", IYKWIMAIKTYD.

163

Wussy Superman is trying to be Captain Planet?

Call in Wonder Woman to tie him up and school his sorry ass.

164 Superman doesn't mix well in the real world.  Should an invulnerable god-like being decide to defend American values, there wouldn't be any Islamic theocracies, Communist dictatorships, and the like. 

165 Superman? What a homo.

166 "Remember it's Superman, not Supersmart" No shit. There was that movie where he gave up all of his superpowers just to pork Lois Lane. What a loser.

167 The next thing you know, Rock Hudson will be gay.

168 150
I don't know whats worse in that joke. The incest perversion or the fact I know what thier powers are...
Posted by: JollyRoger at April 28, 2011 03:46 PM (NCw5u)

I'd say it would be your consistent misspelling of "their"

169

But at least we'll still have Batman. The Batman does. not. placate. In fact, in The Dark Knight Returns book, Batman kicked Superman's ass. Therefore Batman > Superman anyway.

I've always found Batman much more appealing that Superman.

Batman represents the pinnacle of human achievement in both body and mind. Every "power" he had is something he worked for, whereas superman was just kinda born with those powers.

170 My parents wouldn't let me read comic books.  They made me read shit like Hemmingway and Melville.  I wail for my lost childhood.

171 Marvel version of Green Arrow: Green Lantern, maybe? And Spiderman/Peter Parker was always kind of a whiny leftist douche....

172 I got my virginity back reading this thread.

173

120Superman also has the dumbest alter ego of anyone. I mean the guy could be anything he wanted but he picked a fucking pussy left wing journalist.>>>>>>>>>

 

Yep.  And his amazing disguise?  Glasses.  I never understood that.  If you walk down the street and see Clint Eastwood wearing glasses, you'd say 'Hey, there's Clint Eastwood.  I didn't know he wore glasses.'  But Lois Lane sees both Superman and Clark Kent constantly, and she never seems to make the connection.  Just fucking stupid...

174 "Superman? What a homo." Well, the outfit pretty much gives that away, doesn't it? The porking Lois Lane was probably just denial of his true self.

175

Heh!  At least Superman is smart enough not to offend the large swath of Americans who are involved in the carnival industry.  From Huff Post via HA:

 

When discussing the lingering “birther” controversy, Obama remarked: “We’re not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers".

Many in the carnival community were not amused by the mention of their industry.

“I am extremely upset by the reference,” said Frank Zaitshik, who runs Wade Shows, a carnival business with over 100 amusement rides and attractions that entertains over 15 million people each year.

Zaitshik, a second generation carnival worker — a term he prefers to the word “carny,” which is used as a pejorative — has spent much of his life battling negative stereotypes about his industry.

“I think what Obama said is the same type of stereotype that has been placed on African Americans.” Zaitshik said. “You wouldn’t expect those comments from someone who is a minority and has faced prejudice.”

 

Oh, and rememer that pic of Obama standing in front of the Superman statue?

176 The next thing you know, Rock Hudson will be gay.

Posted by: cherry π at April 28, 2011 03:51 PM (+sBB4)

Rock Hudson was gay before he was Gay.

177
If Superman is renouncing his citizenship, what is Bizzarro Superman doing? Running for President?

178

For any fellow superhero nerds out there,  go to You Tube "It's Just Some Random Guy" site.    He started with 'Marvel vs DC' and expanded from there.

Kinda Robot Chickenish  but VERY well done.

179 180 Marvel version of Green Arrow: Green Lantern, maybe? And Spiderman/Peter Parker was always kind of a whiny leftist douche....

Posted by: Monty at April 28, 2011 03:52 PM (/0a60)

Green Lantern is DC too, and he used to be a test pilot.

I think the whole marvel stable was more or less lefty. Look no further than the Xmen, an allegory about race. And I loathe Spiderman as a whiny leftist doucher.

180 Whatever.

Citizen or not, my butt still hurts.

181 But Lois Lane sees both Superman and Clark Kent constantly, and she never seems to make the connection.  Just fucking stupid...

To be fair, if a man who can throw people into the sun wants to put on glasses and say he's Clark Kent, are you going to tell him he isn't?

182 I told Superman, hey why not toss an asteroid down on Tehran and just clean out that little rat's nest? He just mumbled something about a scheduling conflict with a semen-chugging contest or something and flew off. What? Oh, HA-HA, asshole. Because there's no fucking FISH in Tehran, that's why.

183 Where's the Supergirl pron?

Or scenes of Superman getting it on with Wonder Woman?

184

Whatever.

Citizen or not, my butt still hurts.

hahah. great reference

185

At least we've still got Anderson Pooperman.  He's proud of his country.

186 I never liked Superman.  I much preferred Spider Man, The Silver Surfer, The Fantastic Four, and Sheena Queen of The Jungle.  I also liked Archie, and Richie Rich was one of my favorite comics too (because I knew some day I wanted to grow up and be an evil capitalist). 

187 "179 My parents wouldn't let me read comic books.  They made me read shit like Hemmingway and Melville.  I wail for my lost childhood."     Soona, didn't you ever discover Classics Illustrated comics? Shoosh, you could knock out a classic in about 2 hours if you read the text. Twenty minutes if you just read the pictures. Man, did I ever have a crush on Joan of Arc. Hot babe. To bad about the fire thingy.

188

Oh, and rememer that pic of Obama standing in front of the Superman statue?

Posted by: runningrn at April 28, 2011 03:53 PM (ihSHD)

When it comes to offending anyone and everyone, JEF knows NO BOUNDS.....Damn you to HELL you 52%'ers.

189

Who cares? DC Comics are for basement-dwelling neckbeards anyway. Make Mine Marvel!

190 If Superman is renouncing his citizenship, what is Bizzarro Superman doing? Running for President? Oh my God I would so buy that comic. It bears repeating that DC "reimagined" Supes as a Commie in Red Son. They've been inching him to the Marxist True Path for a long time now. I've got some friends who work in the comics biz, and you may rest assured that nowhere on earth is there a worse hive of scum and villainy. Comic book writers and artists are not just your garden-variety leftists; they are the shrill, Daily Kos-reading, Kool-Aid-drinking, Che-Guevara-T-Shirt-wearing, Obama-venerating leftists. (Alan Moore is often called "libertarian", but that's not quite the case; he's just strange.)

191 Superman, like Lebron James, is just trying to be a 'Global Icon'.

192 192 Where's the Supergirl pron?

Or scenes of Superman getting it on with Wonder Woman?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at April 28, 2011 03:55 PM (/U/Mr)

Google it. You know its there.

193 Or scenes of Superman getting it on with Wonder Woman? SPOILER ALERT! Don't laugh. In Kingdom Come, Supes and Wonder Woman get married and have babies.

194 Alert: Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot has been arrested for leading a Ponzi scheme and not paying his fair share of taxes

195 Look at his shit. Superman just emails me to say he's moving to Vancouver with Jack Stuef, his homo life-mate.

196 "You're just saying that because we get to see Katie's nips in that tight sweater near the end." It just amazes me how brilliant you morons are in noticing the most relevant details in a movie. A moron like Waterhouse would be a great replacement for Ebert.

197

Is there any moral icon or value the left won't try to destroy? Short answer, No!  Self loathing is a national sport to them.  Even as they elevate a new icon the begin to destroy it. 

Remember, when you were a kid, you wanted to sit with the cool kids or be picked first for whatever game they were playing?  As you grew you found them to be a pack of self absorbed losers for the most part.  That is the left today.

198 If Superman is renouncing his citizenship, what is Bizzarro Superman doing? Running for President?

Oh my God I would so buy that comic.

It bears repeating that DC "reimagined" Supes as a Commie in Red Son. They've been inching him to the Marxist True Path for a long time now.

Posted by: Monty

 

So who would he be banging then? Walter Duranty?

199 And we're getting all hissy-fitted because he is renoucing his US citizenship?  Sheesh!

It's spurious and unrealistic. (I don't believe I said that about a superman comic)

Any sensible human knows that the US can control Superman about as well as a mouse can control a wild buffalo, and that any Iranian hostility based on Superman's actions is a good way to make non-violent protesting Superman into violent ass kicking Superman.

In a realistic (arrgh! the PARADOX) scenario it would have went like.

Iranian Ambassador: Superman's actions are an act of war.
US Ambassador: We totally agree, he was out of line, go ahead and arrest him while he is in your country.

Story ends.

This contrived BS about how he just *has* to renounce Citizenship in the first Constitutional freedom loving republic of the modern world is meaningless in effect and ultimately is just symbolic. Symbolic of rennouncing Citizenship in the first Constitutional freedom loving republic of the modern world, and pretending being a citizen of the "universe" without higher authority is somehow a more virtuous position, symbolic of the virtue of unity above sovereignty even if something as important as freedom which only holds on in small niches might be compromised by doing so.

It would be similarly symbolic if he turned away from the US' faults became a citizen of New Genesis and an unfailing follower of the Source.

200

Wow, will Superman be able to save Barack?  From latest Quinnipiac poll:

 

President Barack Obama’s job approval rating in Pennsylvania is a negative 42 – 53 percent, an all-time low and a major drop from his 51 – 44 percent approval February 17, according to a Quinnipiac University poll released today. Pennsylvania voters say 52 – 42 percent he does not deserve a second term, his worst showing on that measure also. In a mythical matchup, he gets 40 percent to an unnamed Republican challenger’s 41 percent in the 2012 presidential race…

President Obama, who carried Pennsylvania 55 – 44 percent in the 2008 election, is underwater mostly because of his deterioration among independent voters, who disapprove of his performance 57 – 37 percent, compared to 50 – 46 percent approval in February. His 89 – 9 percent disapproval among Republicans is up from 80 – 15 percent disapproval in February. Democrats back him 76 – 18 percent, compared to 81 – 14 percent in February.

201

“I think what Obama said is the same type of stereotype that has been placed on African Americans.” Zaitshik said. “You wouldn’t expect those comments from someone who is a minority and has faced prejudice.”

 

Lighten up Zaitshik. So a geek has a low opinion of carnies, so what? Its not like you have to bite the heads off of chickens everday.

202 One annoying thing about comics is the writers all tend to be leftist douche bags. Not all, but most. And they are very vocal about it and love to insert their left-wing assholeness in the story lines.

Which is stupid and has helped marginalize comics. They keep writing for themselves - urban, hipster leftwing assholes who enjoy comics ironically and self-consciously. When they should be writing for young, middle american kids getting comics at Wal-mart.

203 Next, Superman will denounce his gender and become Superperson.

204 I don't read comic books. But I wonder, has any character ever done something that seemed shocking, only for it to turn out to be a totally benign and explainable attention-getter?

205 Superman, sadly never took Edna Most's advice: "No Capes!"

206 Superman is racist

207 @209: I'll believe Barak is truly in trouble when his approval ratings drop below 40%.

208 I still have a 1970's Hertz O.J. Simpson Coloring & Activity Book in my "collection.".

209 The most interesting thing about the Big Blue Boy Scout was why he didn't (in the modern era) intervene in 'normal' crises.  Ignoring the 'choosing one over another' issue, he didn't want the world getting to overly dependent on him to solve all its problems.  Nicely conservative viewpoint, that...

But yeah, I suspect a fair bit of this will get backtracked in short order.  Likely with a fair bit of Red Kryptonite involved (the stuff that makes him act all weird).  One other thing, of course...unless he also renounces as Clark Kent, the actual meaning is questionable...

210 @209: I'll believe Barak is truly in trouble when his approval ratings drop below 40%.

Posted by: CoolCzech

 

Did you notice that 42 % still approve, but only 40% would vote for him against a Reublican To Be Named Later? He's damned close.

211 Has Captain America become Captain Europa yet?

212
In the next issue, he hands out condoms in front of Planned Parenthood and announces he's bisexual.




Wasn't that the plot of Singer's Superman Returns?

213 Next, Superman will denounce his gender and become Superperson.

Nah, just skip ahead to denouncing his species.

Up in the sky, it's SuperGerbil!

214

Marvel's Green Arrow is Hawkeye.

I was never into the Avengers before but the new cartoon is great. Fantastic theme song "The world is about to break..." - It could be the DOOM post anthem.

215
Next, Superman will denounce his gender and become Superperson Woman of Kleenex..

216

Remember, when you were a kid, you wanted to sit with the cool kids or be picked first for whatever game they were playing?  As you grew you found them to be a pack of self absorbed losers for the most part.  That is the left today.

 

No, the left is those bitter, untalented losers who always got picked last.  The know it alls who were never wrong.  The supposedly "smart set".  I am constantly amazed to see (oh the joys of Facebook) how many of the kids I went to H.S. with are smart conservatives now.  It's shocking.  And yeah, some of them were the most popular kids in school who were only into sports and partying.  Something happened along the way.  They grew up and started raising their own families. 

217

@7: "I want to know why Marvel has a character who is a lawyer, dresses up like the devil and is supposed to be the good guy."

He's handi-capable.  In PC-land, he's automatically a good guy.

218

Next, Superman will denounce his gender and become Superperson Woman of Kleenex..

 

With an highly vascularized vagina--(a little nod to Mark Steyn today).

219

Posted by: Goober at April 28, 2011 03:56 PM (Q5+Og)

 

The only cartoon chick I ever had the hots for was Snow White.  Every time she sang the song "I'm Wishing" I'd cum in my plastic Roy Rogers toilet training pants.  It was her living with all those dwarfs that always ruined it, though.  The fuckers. 

220 Christ. Are they going to make him turn in his man card at the same time?

This is why I read G.I. Joe.

221 Superman is a pussy.

222 205
It just amazes me how brilliant you morons are in noticing the most relevant details in a movie.
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 28, 2011 04:00 PM (1ckSh)

That reminds me of the time, a dozen or so years back, when the missus-to-be dragged me to the U.S. Women's Figure Skating finals in Philly. The final five contestants were about to take the ice. She could recall the names of only four of them, but couldn't name the fifth, so I told her, "Tonia Kwiakowski". In response to her inquiry how I knew that, I said, "Because she's the only one among the five that has noticeably visible boobs."

223

Did you notice that 42 % still approve, but only 40% would vote for him against a Reublican To Be Named Later? He's damned close.

 

I think he's even lower.  I think people are afraid to tell pollsters they disapprove because they don't want to be labeled racist.  They say one thing, but will hopefully pull the lever for the other.

224

"The only cartoon chick I ever had the hots for was Snow White.  Every time she sang the song "I'm Wishing" I'd cum in my plastic Roy Rogers toilet training pants.  It was her living with all those dwarfs that always ruined it, though.  The fuckers. "

 

I know the drill. I was Sneezy in my first grade play. The bitch plays hard to get Soona. Hard to get. She will bob for apples however.

225

@24: "Marvel is without a doubt got a Liberal agenda."

*ahem*

226 "Maybe Superman is no getting laid enough?" Can't be easy getting out of those tights AND the speedo.

227

Did you notice that 42 % still approve, but only 40% would vote for him against a Reublican To Be Named Later? He's damned close.

 I think he's even lower.  I think people are afraid to tell pollsters they disapprove because they don't want to be labeled racist.  They say one thing, but will hopefully pull the lever for the other.

Posted by: runningrn

 

We thought that in 2008, and he pulled it off. But this! he went from 55 to 40? If i recall, he cannot afford to lose PA. If he does, he's done. This is now at least a batleground state. Sned GOTV to the rest of the state and lawyers into Philly. Challenge everything and anything that moves in Philly.

228 I TOLD that dumbass not to protest in Iran. What's he thinking? Sure, it didn't even bruise him when the Revolutionary Guard opened up on him with machine guns. But those bullets made a more lasting impact on the crowd he was standing in when they fucking BOUNCED OFF HIM at thousands of feet per second. Nice going, physics major. Maybe you can go peacefully protest inside a North Korean orphanage for your next trick.

229 228
The only cartoon chick I ever had the hots for was Snow White.  Every time she sang the song "I'm Wishing" I'd cum in my plastic Roy Rogers toilet training pants.  It was her living with all those dwarfs that always ruined it, though.  The fuckers. Posted by: Soona at April 28, 2011 04:07 PM (AIqwL)

But were they bumping uglies with her on the kitchen counter? (H/T: tcn).

230 I am thinking way too much about this.

not really 'thinking', is it, hmmmmmmmmm??

231

Superman should sue Kazaam(Shaquille O'Neil), for all he's worth. A man that big should average more than 10 bebounds/game.

Dwight Howard is a much better representative for the Man Of Steel.

232

"I think he's even lower.  I think people are afraid to tell pollsters they disapprove because they don't want to be labeled racist.  They say one thing, but will hopefully pull the lever for the other."

 

I never understood that perspective. A stranger calls you and asks you questions. How many times do you just make shit up to goof on them? I do it with phone salesmen. My wife is a champion at consuming 45 minutes of a telephone salesmans time just for the shear joy of annoying them. I'm thinking the only ones that don't want to be called a racist is the polling firm. So they just make it look nicer than it is for public consumption. I really think behind the scenes the polls are much worse for bamster than they are letting on. See recent punk job by Trump.

233

Superman Renounces Citizenship

Coming soon:

Hulk Attends Anger Management Class
Spider-Man Praised by Liberal Media Daily Bugle
Daredevil Switches to Mob Lawyer

234

Dwight Clint Howard is a much better representative for the Man Of Steel.

235

Coming soon:

Hulk Attends Anger Management Class
Spider-Man Praised by Liberal Media Daily Bugle
Daredevil Switches to Mob Lawyer

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 28, 2011 04:17 PM (QMtmy)

 

The Silver Surfer sees the market trends and becomes Gold Surfer.

236 Why don't we rip off their superheroes in china? They can keep the long underwears.

237

@51: "Justice League also had powerful villains too. However, any Justice League villain that the team was fighting had to be as strong or stronger than Superman. That just makes Batman even more amazing since he's going into the same fights at Superman minus the powers. That's why Batman rules."

By that token, Aquaman rules, too, sine he only has useless powers outside of very limited circumstances.  Batman at least has body armor and gadgets.

238
Somebody needs to get Chucky J's opinion here, him being a comic fanatic and all.  Im sure you could get a well reasoned screed about the GOP being to blame--along with the teabaggers.

239 It's fun to stand in "solidarity" with a crowd of Iranian goat molesters when you're the only one that doesn't worry about getting shot or hurt. Heh, heh...

240 Daredevil Switches to Mob Lawyer

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 28, 2011 04:17 PM (QMtmy)

This one's actually plausable. Leftists do support the unions you know...

241 You made me start paging through www.superdickery.com again, you bastiches.

242

The Silver Surfer sees the market trends and becomes Gold Surfer.

It's fun to stand in "solidarity" with a crowd of Iranian goat molesters when you're the only one that doesn't worry about getting shot or hurt.

Heh, heh...

 

 

It's comments like this that make it impossible for me to get anything done!

243

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at April 28, 2011 04:22 PM (xy9wk)

Good point. Aquaman wasn't part of the Justice League in the cartoon though. Batman was the only member without powers.

They did show Aquaman. He was ruler of Atlantis and pretty bad ass. He sawed off his own forearm to save his child. Apparently self-mutilation is all it took for him to gain some respect from me.

244 www.superdickery.com I lost about three days of my life to that website, and nearly laughed myself into a hernia.

245 Superman, Shuperman...I read Super Joo. 

246 Aquaman: It's Not Easy To Be Me

247

I know the drill. I was Sneezy in my first grade play. The bitch plays hard to get Soona. Hard to get. She will bob for apples however.

Posted by: Goober

Jeez Goober, do you think a chick like Snow White wants you sneezing and blowing boogers all over here?  Ewwwww.

248 "No, the left is those bitter, untalented losers who always got picked last." Have you been watching Joyless Behar?

249

Good point. Aquaman wasn't part of the Justice League in the cartoon though. Batman was the only member without powers.

What about Wonder Dog? Or that purple monkey?

250 He isn't American, he came illegally...

251

Posted by: Monty at April 28, 2011 04:35 PM (/0a60)

 

Ha! Ha!  That's funneh--"I guess they don't want their superheros looking like John Tesh." 

I always preferred brunettes to blonds.  Too many blond men looked like Ken dolls to me.

252 Comics died over ten years ago, zombie comics drag themselves across the battlefield of the culture wars, spreading pestilence.

It really is kind of horrifying, when you think about it. What was once meant to be inspiring, to lift up spirits and aspirations, is now largely a tool to drag them down.

Entropy is what happens when men lose their will to build.

253

You know who else Disney owns?

 

The Harlem Globetrotters.

 

Coincidence? 

254 Three separate times between 1940 and 1980, DC made substantial settlements with Siegel and Shuster, buying once and for all for the rights to the character. The second settlement included an annuity for life.

Sometimes a sharp dealer gets you to sell your birthright for $24 worth of beads and trinkets. You don't see the heirs of the Manhattoes whining.

How is it that neither of these brilliant guys ever had another home-run idea in the course of their long lives?

255 Even more irony: Superman plaque stolen in Cleveland.

256 "what with the requirements for natural-born citizens having been flushed down the sewer in '08...." Superman was a foundling under 5 years old, with residency in the US for more than 14 years. He qualifies.

257 I disagree with Ace, I think they did this in an explicitly left-wing way.

Superman goes out and says, "Truth justice and the American Way just aren't enough anymore."

No shit?  So what is?  Lies, injustice and the Obama Way?  Gender queer wymyn's studies, redistributionism and the Socialist Internationale? 

Let us set aside the notion of the American Way for a second.

How can Superman abondon truth and justice?  These are supposed to be universal principles.  People want truth, people want justice, are they suddenly partisan interests of a single world power?

And the American Way...ya know, the reason an alien from another world chooses to represent American values is because he saw that America represented the best of humanity.  America, the nation of nations.  Where men abandon the tribalism and sectarianism of the old world and begin anew and live in peace and prosperity.  A nation of people who choose who they are because they desire to be so, not because of an accident of birth.  A country where life liberty and the pursuit if happiness are the highest ideals.

But I guess that's not good enough anymore.  Fuck truth, to hell with justice and goddamn America, WOO!

Every day the cultural rot gets worse.  The scum of society spit in our faces and exect to be rewarded for it.  To hell with them all.

258 Has Captain America become Captain Europa yet?

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 28, 2011 04:04 PM (kUaEF)

Captain America is currently a guy named Bucky Barnes, a former brainwashed Soviet spy.

259 Well, I can't say I'm exactly shocked by this development. It wasn't all that long ago that Superman declared his hatred of Christianity. Here's a quote on that from the Ambiguously Jewish page at TV Tropes: "Nowadays, Superman is sort of ethnically Space Jewish, Jewish in the same way the Martian Manhunter is black: not directly, but allegorically. He was raised by Kansas Protestants, but doesn't practice anymore; he confesses to Lois that he hasn't practiced (but still believes in God) since his powers developed because he could see and hear how hypocritical the churchgoers were."

260 Give him a good dose of kryponite like maybe the red kind that has a different effected he then can turn into a big fat hog

261 "Jughead in a Ché t-shirt"? Okie, I hafta look that one up... I know they did the token gay guy not long ago, so I wasn't expecting something else so soon.

As for this Superman thing... yes, it's totally a publicity stunt. Issue 900, at 12 issues a month that marks 75 years. So, yeah, they had to do something to get attention.

In addition to all the dodgy bits Ace mentioned, I also notice that this little piece was presented all by itself alongside some other padding to the issue that may indicate it is not to be canon in future comics anyway. Just making direct mention of Iran, rather than some made-up stand-in (like Bailya for Libya, fi) sticks out like a sore thumb.

262 "Doomsday though looked retarded was a good villain for Supes. Sure, the aftermath was complete shit but the actual death of Superman storyline was really good"

No. It was not. Holy... UGH!

Go get your Death of Superman funnybook out of the long-box, open up the mylar and remove the backing board, carefully roll up the comic tightly. Then, gripping the rolled-up comic-book at one end, firmly and swiftly swat yourself across the nose while repeating: "Bad Fanboy! Bad!"

263 In the 21st century, it's more important for everyone to be a citizen of the world, than the usual mindless tribal chest thumping. The future will be owned by people who can take a global perspective on morality, finance, culture, etc, rather than being locked into a provincial mindset. So it's a timely plot twist that I agree with.
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264 In the 21st century, it's more important for everyone to be a citizen of the world, than the usual mindless tribal chest thumping. The future will be owned by people who can take a global perspective on morality, finance, culture, etc, rather than being locked into a provincial mindset. So it's a timely plot twist that I agree with.
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265 I have switched to anime and manga. American Comics haven't been fun in a very long time.

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