Ace of Spades HQ

May 08, 2011

Things I Learned from Popular Music (Open Thread)
— CAC

There is, indeed, water at the bottom of the ocean.

JayZ may not have women problems, but he's got way too many others. (At least that's what I got out of the song. I am a deep, deep thinker afterall. My shorts prove that.)

A Maserati can go 185 but don't test it or else you will lose your license and be forced to ride in a limo.

Little Jack Horner is homeless because he did cocaine.

God did in fact make man but he used a monkey (who supplied the glue) to do it.

You cannot eat pudding before you eat your meat. That is just preposterous.

Governor Jerry Brown's aura smiles and never frowns; and his zen fascists will control all of us someday.

Lastly, I learned that Friday comes after Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Open Thread, and if you can figure out every song I am referencing, your life is as sad as mine. Uplifting thought of the day.

Posted by: CAC at 11:39 AM | Comments (781)
Post contains 181 words, total size 1 kb.

1
in

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 11:40 AM (IeVVe)

2 I've learned that if you play a typical country song backwards, you can get your wife, your dog, and your truck returned to you.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 11:41 AM (c0A3e)

3
Stupid lyrics?

"shoot an apple off my head"

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 11:41 AM (IeVVe)

4 You cannot eat pudding before you eat your meat. That is just preposterous.

Word. I mean, how can you have have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 11:42 AM (Rwudm)

5 I know what that last one was. Just got their greatest hits CD.

Now I'll have to go find some.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 11:42 AM (M9Ie6)

6 Stupid lyrics? "shoot an apple off my head" Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 03:41 PM Stupid lyrics? Anything sung by Lady Gag-a.

Posted by: Clyde Shelton at May 08, 2011 11:42 AM (NITzp)

7 There is water underground.

Posted by: R at May 08, 2011 11:43 AM (lxmyC)

8 How 'bout really gross lyrics?

Like "snot is running down his nose"?

I hate that song.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 11:43 AM (Rwudm)

9
Lady Gaga's lyrics are poetry. For retarded retards.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 11:43 AM (IeVVe)

cold clocks , sooth.

Kapow!

: }

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 11:44 AM (h+qn8)

11 This thread is off to a stellar start.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 11:44 AM (HzXiS)

ring my bell

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 11:44 AM (h+qn8)

13 "Sad Whale, Baby."

Posted by: garrett at May 08, 2011 11:45 AM (37eb6)

14 I still haven't figured out who let the damn dogs out.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 11:45 AM (c0A3e)

15 You cannot eat pudding before you eat your meat. That is just preposterous.

my x spouse used to think that said , "you can't have any pudding till you wash your feet."

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 11:46 AM (h+qn8)

16
Coldplay's "Clocks" shows us what happens when you're desperate for a rhyming verse in a stanza:

Lights go out and I canÂ’t be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead

SinginÂ’, come out if things arenÂ’t said
Shoot an apple off my head
And a, trouble that canÂ’t be named
Tigers waitinÂ’ to be tamed

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 11:46 AM (IeVVe)

as you watched yourself gavotte.

I learned that gavotte is a dance. Also that there weren't clowns in her coffee, there were clouds in them.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 11:46 AM (RZ8pf)

18 I've got the cool shoeshine.

Posted by: Scarlett at May 08, 2011 11:47 AM (/2q4C)

19
Dave Chappelle's R Kelly's I Piss On You

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 11:47 AM (IeVVe)

20 Also that there weren't clowns in her coffee, there were clouds in them.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 03:46 PM (RZ8pf)

Cloudy clowns?

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 11:47 AM (MtwBb)

Kratos, the man behind blue eyes?

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 11:47 AM (h+qn8)

22 Lady Gaga's lyrics are poetry. For retarded retards. Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 03:43 PM Agreed. Now THIS is true poetry.

Posted by: Clyde Shelton at May 08, 2011 11:48 AM (NITzp)

23 I learned that if you eat biscuits, corn, and potatoes, along with a lot of other stuff until you are morbidly obese you will be a man some day.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 11:48 AM (M9Ie6)

24 Foreign policy cover of a Beach Boys tune: Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 11:48 AM (vXr7p)

25 SinginÂ’, come out if things arenÂ’t said
Shoot an apple off my head
And a, trouble that canÂ’t be named
Tigers waitinÂ’ to be tamed

sooth you trying to say the song is lame?

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 11:49 AM (h+qn8)

26 Like "snot is running down his nose"?

I love that song.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 11:49 AM (M9Ie6)

27
Send in the clouds
Don't bother, they're here

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 11:49 AM (IeVVe)

28 stevo , have you ever seen that beach boys remix about kosovo?

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 11:50 AM (h+qn8)

29 Lady Gaga is a dumb young twit that cannot comprehend that teh gheys are completely manipulating her. They like to dress her up in all the clothes they could never wear. And then they expect her reinvent herself for the next 'shocking' music video. It's sad really because I think she has the ability to succeed on the merits - not the shock value. Her voice isn't half bad.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 11:50 AM (HzXiS)

30 "I wanna rock 'n' roll all night And part of every day" "No, it's rock n roll all night and PARTY every day" "No, I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3."

Posted by: Clyde Shelton at May 08, 2011 11:51 AM (NITzp)

31 Hey, is "Johnsonville" the food processing company that is owned by the evil Koch Bros.? I was grocery shopping and wanted to support the cause, but I had a brain freeze when I got to the cooler. Anyhoo, I've got a pkg of "Smoked Beef Brats" ready to go.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 08, 2011 11:51 AM (xMT+4)

32 Osama Bin Laden as Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard:

http://tinyurl.com/OsamaNorma

Posted by: Lawrence Person at May 08, 2011 11:52 AM (eRpHv)

33 Fitting for today.

This is a man's world!

Posted by: Zombie James Brown at May 08, 2011 11:52 AM (GZitp)

34 I love that song.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 03:49 PM (M9Ie6)

Ick. ***sigh*** Maybe I pay too much attention to lyrics.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 11:52 AM (Rwudm)

really love your peaches , want to shake your tree.

sheesh that was horrible.

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 11:52 AM (h+qn8)

36 Are we not men ?
We are DEVO!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 08, 2011 11:52 AM (UMRL3)

37 your life is as sad as mine.

Oakley makes the shades that can transform you.

Posted by: Porky at May 08, 2011 11:53 AM (Qh/Y5)

38 Hey, is "Johnsonville" the food processing company that is owned by the evil Koch Bros.? I was grocery shopping and wanted to support the cause, but I had a brain freeze when I got to the cooler. Anyhoo, I've got a pkg of "Smoked Beef Brats" ready to go.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 08, 2011 03:51 PM (xMT+4)

They are not owned by the Koch's but they contributed to Scott Walker so they are being boycotted by the union goons.

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 11:53 AM (MtwBb)

39 If you are interested in some great new independent pop music (think Justin Timberlake, John Mayer, Coldplay, Jason Mraz, or Maroon Five) and hot music videos, check out DavePatten.com
There is plenty to look at there and the music is available for free download, too.

Posted by: dave clark at May 08, 2011 11:53 AM (VFYKw)

40 "I've got...
two chickens to paralyze."

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 11:53 AM (Rwudm)

41 There is no dark side of the moon, it's all dark.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 11:53 AM (HBqDo)

42 I still haven't figured out who let the damn dogs out.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 03:45 PM (c0A3e)

LOL!

I hate that fucking song.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 11:53 AM (ve3s8)

43 31 Yup, as well as Sargento cheese products IIRC.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 11:53 AM (HzXiS)

44 Willow, no but will look it up later.

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 11:54 AM (vXr7p)

Posted by: robtr

Ahh, thanks. As long as it annoys the Libs, it's well worth the choosing.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 08, 2011 11:54 AM (xMT+4)

46 I did it all for the nookie So you can take that cookie And stick it up your, yeah!

Posted by: Clyde Shelton at May 08, 2011 11:54 AM (NITzp)

47 You can keep my things they've come to take me home.

Vera, what has become of you?

Mother did it need to be so high?

Posted by: mer at May 08, 2011 11:54 AM (WM7U2)

48 Doh! Let's try that again, without so much incompetence on my part:

http://tinyurl.com/OsamaNorma

Posted by: Lawrence Person at May 08, 2011 11:54 AM (eRpHv)

49 I learned that a cephalopod mollusk lives in a garden in the shade.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 11:54 AM (M9Ie6)

I like this type of music thread. It's not just about posting your favorite songs and then insulting other people for their picks.

Speaking of clowns, I learned it's actually "ground control to major tom" not "clown control to major tom"

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 11:55 AM (RZ8pf)

They are not owned by the Koch's but they contributed to Scott Walker so they are being boycotted by the union goons.

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 03:53 PM (MtwBb)

Mental note: Stop and pick up some Johnsonville Cheddar brats this afternoon. MMMMMMMmmmmmmm.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 11:55 AM (Rwudm)

They make good stuff too, I buy their brats all the time.

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 11:55 AM (MtwBb)

53 Any OH morons in here watch Ryan Witmer on Dateline Friday night?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 11:55 AM (HzXiS)

54 I ain't no Senator's son. But that's all right by me. A boy named Sue taught me to let it be.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 11:56 AM (BgUOV)

55 Obama - "We are building a religion."

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 11:56 AM (fh2Y7)

56 Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round.

My personal anthem.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 11:56 AM (Rwudm)

There is, indeed, water at the bottom of the ocean. ???

JayZ may not have women problems, but he's got way too many others. (At least that's what I got out of the song. I am a deep, deep thinker afterall. My shorts prove that.)I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one.

A Maserati can go 185 but don't test it or else you will lose your license and be forced to ride in a limo. Sammy Hagar "I can't drive 55"

Little Jack Horner is homeless because he did cocaine. Ice Cube "Ice Cube' 'll tell you how the story really ends"

God did in fact make man but he used a monkey (who supplied the glue) to do it. ???

You cannot eat pudding before you eat your meat. That is just preposterous. Pink Floyd "Leave them kids alone/brick in the wall"

Governor Jerry Brown's aura smiles and never frowns; and his zen fascists will control all of us someday. Dead Kennedy's "California Uber Alles"

Lastly, I learned that Friday comes after Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. That little 14 year old youtube girl, "Friday".

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 11:56 AM (Y2WVW)

58 I learned that submarines are larger if you paint them yellow.

Posted by: Anachronda at May 08, 2011 11:57 AM (6fER6)

59 I learned the Walrus was Paul.

Posted by: garrett at May 08, 2011 11:57 AM (37eb6)

A Maserati can go 185 but don't test it or else you will lose your license and be forced to ride in a limo. Sammy Hagar "I can't drive 55"

Nope..."Life's Been Good To Me", Joe Walsh

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 11:58 AM (Rwudm)

61 You got to fight For the right To Parrrrrrrrrrty

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 11:58 AM (roFKc)

62 This goes against everything you learn in Sunday School, but Paradise apparently exists by a dashboard light.

This Paradise needs further elaboration. For starters, which dashboard is this light on? A vehicle dashboard? Some other dashboard in a building? And which light is it, the one that supposedly signals where Paradise is? For somebody who is sincerely seeking Paradise, these are important questions that need to be answered, lest they wonder in ignorance for all eternity.

Also, this Paradise seems limited. I've always thought of Paradise as being a dimensionless place, which spans out infinitely in all directions. If Paradise is located by a dashboard light, it is most likely very limited. Or is the dashboard light just an entry point for Paradise, something you have to touch or manipulate to enter?

Inquiring minds need to know!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 11:58 AM (c0A3e)

63 I learned that this gun's for hire, even if it's just dancing in the dark.

Posted by: Alex at May 08, 2011 11:58 AM (kwNeL)

64 BEAT IT

Posted by: BARNEY FRANK at May 08, 2011 11:58 AM (EL+OC)

65
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 11:58 AM (IeVVe)

A Maserati can go 185 but don't test it or else you will lose your license and be forced to ride in a limo. Sammy Hagar "I can't drive 55"

BZZT! Joe Walsh.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 11:58 AM (ve3s8)

67 I learned the Walrus was Paul.

Posted by: garrett at May 08, 2011 03:57 PM (37eb6)

And also the Taxman.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 11:59 AM (Rwudm)

A Maserati can go 185 but don't test it or else you will lose your license and be forced to ride in a limo. Sammy Hagar "I can't drive 55"

Wrong, Joe Walsh, Lifes Been Good to Me.

Posted by: lowandslow at May 08, 2011 11:59 AM (GZitp)

69
I learned the police take a dim view of loud red cars.

Posted by: irongrampa at May 08, 2011 11:59 AM (ud5dN)

peaches come from a can, they are put there by a man in a factory downtown.

also there are 525,600 minutes in a year

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:00 PM (RZ8pf)

71 Anticipation is making me wait. Keeping me waiting. Sitting on the dock of the bay.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:00 PM (BgUOV)

72 I need to dress sharper if I want to attract the girls.

Posted by: Alex at May 08, 2011 12:00 PM (kwNeL)

73
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.

...?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:00 PM (IeVVe)

74 I was but a mere child when I got my first transistor radio! All my allowance was spent on 9-volt batteries for the damn thing, and I would go to sleep at night holding that little radio to my ear and listening to the hits on KALE.

I learned he'd never dance with another, when he saw me standing there!

The earth would move me if my boyfriend to have was a son of a preacher man.

Boys loved flower girls.

All of which did little to help me in terms of understanding the finer points of men and women and dating and marriage.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 08, 2011 12:00 PM (CYH6v)

75 Let me tell you how it will be;
There's one for you, nineteen for me.
'Cause IÂ’m the taxman,
Yeah, IÂ’m the taxman.

Should five per cent appear too small,
Be thankful I don't take it all.
'Cause IÂ’m the taxman,
Yeah, IÂ’m the taxman.

(if you drive a car, car

- IÂ’ll tax the street;
(if you try to sit, sit

- IÂ’ll tax your seat;
(if you get too cold, cold

- IÂ’ll tax the heat;
(if you take a walk, walk

- I'll tax your feet.

Taxman!

Posted by: Barack Obama at May 08, 2011 12:01 PM (EL+OC)

76 I learned that rainy days and Mondays suck.

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 12:01 PM (fh2Y7)

77 I learned Daniel is my brother.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:01 PM (BgUOV)

78 o-man ,but i love sitting on the dock of the bay.

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:02 PM (h+qn8)

79 Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.

...?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 04:00 PM (IeVVe)

"Silly Love Songs". Paul McCartney.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:02 PM (Rwudm)

BZZT!

ErikW at May 08, 2011 03:58 PM (ve3s

Heh.

Hey Erik, you don't have the right to BZZT! me. Only antisocialist does. Yer a day late and a dollar short in your correction.

And a huge disapointment to your mother...

So you got that going for you...

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 12:02 PM (Y2WVW)

81
I wish I was in Tijuana Eating barbequed iguana

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:02 PM (IeVVe)

82 I learned that when I was down on my luck I should just find a girl with far away eyes

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 12:02 PM (MtwBb)

83 Letting the days go by - Talking Heads

Posted by: tonyjt at May 08, 2011 12:02 PM (xYyxR)

84 Oh, and one of my best girlfriends learned that CCR was not, in fact, singing about "the bathroom on the right."

Posted by: Theresa D at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (CYH6v)

Lastly, I learned that Friday comes after Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. That little 14 year old youtube girl, "Friday".

I thought that was Never On A Sunday-The Chordettes

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (M9Ie6)

86
"Silly Love Songs". Paul McCartney.

you're supposed to sing the next line!!!

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (IeVVe)

87 8675309

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (BgUOV)

LOL!

I hate that fucking song.

Everybody else shares that opinion, which is why the Baha men remain a one-hit wonder group.

And while we don't know who let the dogs out, there is a monster loose as well. Hope it doesn't eat the dogs.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (c0A3e)

89 I learned that Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids. Bad school district, I guess.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (Rwudm)

90 I've learned there are cheeseburger in paradise.

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (EL+OC)

91 i got a brand new pair of roller skates, he's got a brank new key?

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (h+qn8)

If you wear a raspberry beret you should go in through the out door.

And then go in a little red corvette to party like it's 1999 because doves cry when little Nikki dances in the purple rain.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:03 PM (RZ8pf)

i learned:

you can't push Willie 'round, Willie won't go.

Posted by: Shoey at May 08, 2011 12:04 PM (m6OUa)

94 you're supposed to sing the next line!!!

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 04:03 PM (IeVVe)

Oops..."i look around me and I seeeee it isn't so. Oh no."

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:04 PM (Rwudm)

95 That having my baby is a lovely way of saying how much you love me?

Posted by: Paul Anka at May 08, 2011 12:04 PM (sJfMO)

96 Don't tell anyone, but Sheena is a punk rocker.

Posted by: Joey Ramone at May 08, 2011 12:05 PM (zgZzy)

97 I learned horses sometimes have no name.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:05 PM (BgUOV)

98 Oh, and one of my best girlfriends learned that CCR was not, in fact, singing about "the bathroom on the right."

Kind of like Kenny Loggins wasn't singing about 'ham on rye' as I used to sing it when I was a wee lil lass.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 12:05 PM (HzXiS)

99
No no no!

try again

Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:05 PM (IeVVe)

100 We need to Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Iran, or we'll all experience Christmas at Ground Zero.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:05 PM (c0A3e)

101 Mickey's so fine he blows my mind.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:05 PM (RZ8pf)

102 Apparently, there's president gas on everything but roller skates.

Posted by: The Psychedelic Furs at May 08, 2011 12:05 PM (zgZzy)

103

I learned that...

We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 08, 2011 12:06 PM (xMT+4)

104 I learned it was my own damn fault.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:06 PM (BgUOV)

105

lowandslow at May 08, 2011 03:59 PM (GZitp)

The line to kiss my ass starts to the left. Look for ErikW and get behind him...

And don't get me started on your mother. She's a fine woman. You on the other hand...

You are a symbol of everything going to hell in a handbasket in this country.

And get off my lawn!

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 12:06 PM (Y2WVW)

106
What do you NEVER do when you're sittin at the table?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:06 PM (IeVVe)

107 The Shins taught me that caring is creepy.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 12:07 PM (HzXiS)

108 I learned about the King of Pain from a message in a bottle.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:07 PM (BgUOV)

109 I've learned that Alice is ten feet tall.

Posted by: Moonbeam at May 08, 2011 12:07 PM (EL+OC)

110

What do you NEVER do when you're sittin at the table?

count your money because there'll be time enough for countin when the dealin's done.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:07 PM (RZ8pf)

111 I learned that my dog's got 3 legs.

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 12:08 PM (fh2Y7)

112 They call the wind Mariah Sharia.

A three step lead might be good enough to beat a 44.

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 12:08 PM (yrGif)

113 I told you all that the bird is the word!

Posted by: The Trashmen at May 08, 2011 12:08 PM (zgZzy)

114 I'll tell you what I didn't learn: how magnets work.

Posted by: Damn Dirty RINO at May 08, 2011 12:08 PM (hSwL0)

115

i learned it was 25 to 6 or 4

and woops Sooth i said coldclocks : { didn't make sense when it was coldplay-clocks )

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:08 PM (h+qn8)

116 Open Thread, and if you can figure out every song I am referencing, your life is as sad as mine. Uplifting thought of the day.

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 12:08 PM (auR3B)

117 113 I told you all that the bird is the word!

Isn't "Grease" the word?

*shivers*

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:09 PM (c0A3e)

118

I learned what not to do when a bird shits on you...

Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Posted by: garrett at May 08, 2011 12:09 PM (37eb6)

119 I learned it's just a step to the right.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:09 PM (BgUOV)

120 I learned that you can sing 'baby' 17 times in a row.

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 12:09 PM (fh2Y7)

121
What is war good for?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:09 PM (IeVVe)

122

Hey Erik, you don't have the right to BZZT! me. Only antisocialist does. Yer a day late and a dollar short in your correction.

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 04:02 PM (Y2WVW)

I ain't no genius but it looked like the same time stamp to me.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 12:09 PM (ve3s8)

123 I learned that Baby did a bad, bad thing. Apparently it was a wicked game...

Posted by: Alex at May 08, 2011 12:09 PM (kwNeL)

124 From Rush, and probably already posted here, but: "The Man Who Shot Osama Bin Ladin" by Paul Shanklin.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 08, 2011 12:10 PM (CYH6v)

125 Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs. next line: What's wrong with that, I'd like to know.

Posted by: m at May 08, 2011 12:11 PM (7ewkW)

126 Big ol' Jed left the light on.

Posted by: Steve.Miller at May 08, 2011 12:11 PM (hyP1j)

127
finally

well done

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:11 PM (IeVVe)

128 I learned it was a dirty lowdown, not a dirty down low.

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 12:11 PM (fh2Y7)

129 I learned on Saturday night I ain't got nobody, but I do have a fever. You see, Darkness is my old friend, and I'm just stayin' alive.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:11 PM (BgUOV)

130 I learned that Janie got a gun.
And why.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:12 PM (Rwudm)

131 I was but a mere child when I got my first transistor radio!

LOL, my first radio came when I was in the 3rd grade and it was among the first transistor radios at the time. It was a Sears 3 transistor with an earphone instead of a speaker. I still have it.

But my first radio period was one of the old Rocket Radio crystal sets. If I remember correctly you could get them from the old five and dime for a dollar (which was expensive then). I wish I still had that in the original box. They are worth a fortune now.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:12 PM (M9Ie6)

132 One apparently can be too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan. How about Afghanistan?

121
What is war good for?

Except for ending slavery, fascism, and keeping communism at bay, what is war good for?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:12 PM (c0A3e)

133 absolutely nothin

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:12 PM (h+qn8)

134

I learned that Katy Lied.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 08, 2011 12:12 PM (yQWNf)

135 buzzion, blast it, i was close.

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:13 PM (h+qn8)

136

What is war good for?

absolutely nothin, huh (imagine that as a grunting man)

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:13 PM (RZ8pf)

137 I learned that this shirt makes me less sexy.

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 12:13 PM (fh2Y7)

138 136

I learned that Katy Lied.

She lied when she said she Kissed a Gurl to Fireworks.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:13 PM (c0A3e)

139
absolutely nothin

say it again!

(Note to self: Kratos does not play well with the other kids)

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:13 PM (IeVVe)

140 I've learned that you can't starve us out and you can't make us run.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 12:13 PM (ve3s8)

141 I learned that you're a firework.

Posted by: Rum, Goddess of Doom & Sith Lord at May 08, 2011 12:14 PM (YxBuk)

142 I learned there is a corner in Winslow, AZ

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 12:14 PM (EL+OC)

143 i've learned that some boots are made for walking.

Posted by: Shoey at May 08, 2011 12:14 PM (m6OUa)

144 I learned that there ain't no cure for the summertime blues.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:14 PM (Rwudm)

145 I learned that they call Alabama The Crimson Tide, and they call me Deacon Blues.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 08, 2011 12:14 PM (yQWNf)

146 I learned there's a darkness at the edge of town. Anyway, the thing is, I was born to run and born in the USA.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:14 PM (BgUOV)

147 I learned that some aged hipster is coming to my emotional rescue.

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 12:14 PM (fh2Y7)

148
If a picture paints a thousand words...

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:15 PM (IeVVe)

149

but you've gotta have the grunt in it, Soothsayer!

The ink is black, the paper is white...

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:15 PM (RZ8pf)

150 Take off that party dress.

Posted by: wildwood at May 08, 2011 12:15 PM (VSWPU)

151 You cannot eat pudding before you eat your meat. That is just preposterous.

Yes! You laddie! Now leave me alone.

Posted by: Uncle Pink at May 08, 2011 12:15 PM (yPTcS)

152 I got my first 6 string at the five and dime.

Posted by: Rum, Goddess of Doom & Sith Lord at May 08, 2011 12:16 PM (YxBuk)

153 I learned not to eat yellow snow.

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 12:16 PM (fh2Y7)

154

At seven p.m. a main hatchway caved in

he said 'fellas it's bin good to know ya'

The captain wired in he had water comin' in

and the good ship and crew was in peril

and later that night when 'is lights went out of sight...

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:16 PM (IeVVe)

155 I learned that Cecilia is a bitch who will hop into bed with another guy while the first one is in the bathroom washing his face.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:16 PM (RZ8pf)

156 I learned that you've been running and hiding much too long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:16 PM (Rwudm)

157 you can leave your hat on

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:16 PM (h+qn8)

158 I learned that soul music makes you teh homosexual.
I made Marvin Gaye.

Posted by: wildwood at May 08, 2011 12:16 PM (VSWPU)

159 I learned he shot the Sheriff, but did not the shoot the Deputy.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:17 PM (BgUOV)

160 I've learned that blondes have more fun

_obligatory

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 12:17 PM (HzXiS)

161 I learned to be a happy idiot and struggle for the legal tender.

Posted by: Damn Dirty RINO at May 08, 2011 12:17 PM (hSwL0)

162

i've learned it is possible to take the money and run... woo hoo hoo

Posted by: Shoey at May 08, 2011 12:17 PM (m6OUa)

163 I learned that the hottest women live in brick houses.

Posted by: Corona at May 08, 2011 12:18 PM (fh2Y7)

164

ErikW at May 08, 2011 04:09 PM (ve3s

Errr...yes, in terms of minutes. But I guess seconds counted here.

Ace's place is like that CobraKai Dojo in "Karate Kid II"

Second place is no place. Yer off the team.

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 12:18 PM (Y2WVW)

165 Nightmares come from an Otto Dix...

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at May 08, 2011 12:18 PM (6IReR)

166

Playing with the Queen of Hearts?

It Ain't Really Smart.

Posted by: Juice Newton at May 08, 2011 12:18 PM (37eb6)

167 Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 04:17 PM (HzXiS)

*fistbump*

I learned he should put the bottle down because he's got too much talent.

Posted by: Rum, Goddess of Doom & Sith Lord at May 08, 2011 12:18 PM (YxBuk)

168 I learned there is a corner in Winslow, AZ

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 04:14 PM (EL+OC)

I had to Google that because it drove me nuts.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 12:18 PM (ve3s8)

169 I've learned that money's for nothing and your chicks are free.

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 12:18 PM (EL+OC)

170

You want to do it in my butt? In my butt?

Posted by: ned Beatty at May 08, 2011 12:18 PM (DPM1U)

171 I learned we built this city.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:19 PM (BgUOV)

172 70 also there are 525,600 minutes in a year
_________

More like 525,966. Everyone always forgets about leap years.

Posted by: Anachronda at May 08, 2011 12:19 PM (6fER6)

173

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Actually I have absolutely no earthly idea what that means.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:19 PM (RZ8pf)

174

Second place is no place. Yer off the team.

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 04:18 PM (Y2WVW)

I'm glad you have a sense of humor. For a minute there I thought you were an asshole.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 12:20 PM (ve3s8)

175 I learned we built this city.

Okay you're grounded. Go to your room and think about what you just did.

Posted by: laceyunderalls thinks that's the worst song every produced at May 08, 2011 12:20 PM (HzXiS)

176

ink is black, paper is white...
must. resist. google.

i'm playing the damn tune in my head and I can't get the next verse

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:20 PM (IeVVe)

177 I learned girls just want to have fun.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:20 PM (BgUOV)

178

More like 525,966. Everyone always forgets about leap years.

I don't think that would've rhymed in the song very well.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:20 PM (RZ8pf)

179 I realized ,just living for today, might not be a great idea.

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:21 PM (h+qn8)

180

Music can save my mortal soul....yeah, mortal soul.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at May 08, 2011 12:21 PM (DPM1U)

181
What do I want you tell the most beautiful girl in the world (if you happen to see her)?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:21 PM (IeVVe)

182 I love music. Well, except rap music, just can't get too much out of that. Guess it's because I can't always understand the words, kids today sing 'em so damn fast. (Insert YDKGOML here)

You know those deep conversations you get into, usually with various 'substances' involved, where you ask burning questions like "If you could only have 5 senses, which one would you choose?" I always say mine would be hearing. I could not stand it if I couldn't hear music.

Unfortunately, I can't carry a tune and I have absolutely no musical talent myself. I do sound pretty good singing in the shower, though, IMHO.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 08, 2011 12:21 PM (CYH6v)

183 if you want to get down, down on the ground...

Posted by: Slowhand at May 08, 2011 12:21 PM (m6OUa)

184 I learned that the devil is a damn fine fiddle player, but the son of a bitch ain't the best.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 08, 2011 12:22 PM (tJBi7)

185 Dude, together we learn to read and write of course!

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:22 PM (RZ8pf)

186 Best lyrics ever.

I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said "You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away"

I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin' punches around
And preachin' from my chair

I took the tube back out of town
Back to the Rollin' Pin
I felt a little like a dying clown
With a streak of Rin Tin Tin

I stretched back and I hiccupped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan
God, there's got to be another way

This is what the morons around here call a typical Tuesday night.

Posted by: The Who at May 08, 2011 12:22 PM (GZitp)

187 I learned the borderline is like a prayer as long as daddy don't preach.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:22 PM (BgUOV)

188 on rock and roll

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:22 PM (h+qn8)

189 I learned to sha na na na na na live for today, and not worry bout tomorrow hey hey hey...so I went back to college and got my worthless degree about 15 years too late.

Posted by: jeanne! jeanne! at May 08, 2011 12:22 PM (ei1sw)

190 I've learned to substitute my coke for gin

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 12:22 PM (auR3B)

191 I learned that some women had organs made from SiO₂ and it caused them to go blind.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:22 PM (M9Ie6)

192

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Actually I have absolutely no earthly idea what that means.

That you're Stacy's mom, and you've got it going on.

Posted by: Alex at May 08, 2011 12:23 PM (kwNeL)

193 I learned that the shit has hit the fan.

--- get me outa this

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:23 PM (xgtN5)

194

I learned that broken hearts were for assholes

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 12:23 PM (MtwBb)

195 187if you want to get down, down on the ground...

Posted by: Slowhand at May 08, 2011 04:21 PM (m6OUa)

More to the point, Glunten Glieben Glouben

Globen.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at May 08, 2011 12:23 PM (DPM1U)

196 I learned I'm turning Japanese. I really think so.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:23 PM (BgUOV)

197 I learned that the devil is a damn fine fiddle player, but the son of a bitch ain't the best.

I used to love that song but they played it to death here and I got tired of it.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:24 PM (M9Ie6)

198 I realized the best part of the love is the thinnest slice and I don't care for much but I'm not letting go I believe there's still much to believe in
_{and with that, I'm grounding myself to my room}

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 12:24 PM (HzXiS)

199 eman, I'm crazy for you.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:24 PM (RZ8pf)

200
I've learned to take a load off Fanny.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 12:24 PM (auR3B)

201

I feel sick thinking of "Watching Scotty Grow".

Posted by: tonyjt at May 08, 2011 12:24 PM (xYyxR)

202 i dunno was she crying?

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:25 PM (h+qn8)

203
We learned that she's a maniac on the floor.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:25 PM (IeVVe)

204

also,

you can't speak a word, with a mouth full 'ludes, and Oak trees sometimes get in your way.

Posted by: Slowhand at May 08, 2011 12:25 PM (m6OUa)

205 I learned stray cats strut.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:25 PM (BgUOV)

206 do I tell the girl your sorry?

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:25 PM (RZ8pf)

207 62 This goes against everything you learn in Sunday School, but Paradise apparently exists by a dashboard light.

This Paradise needs further elaboration. For starters, which dashboard is this light

Clearly, to tie in with an earlier thread -- it is the dashboard of a '62 new yorker. The best car I ever owned. Like driving a waterbed on the highway, but with a 440 big block and bench seats I can lie (6'3" )without bending it is the only car that gave me memories worth a damn. I could fill a book.

Posted by: nine coconuts at May 08, 2011 12:25 PM (uz3hs)

208 That shit was B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:26 PM (c0A3e)

209 A Maserati can go 185 but don't test it or else you will lose your license and be forced to ride in a limo.

I can't drive 55 either, but don't you ever drive over 80 in Virginia.

Holy fuck that costs money.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at May 08, 2011 12:26 PM (CMx/T)

210 Diamonds can rust, from what i've heard

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:26 PM (h+qn8)

211 I learned that Sting is kind of a creepy stalker.

Posted by: lowandslow at May 08, 2011 12:26 PM (GZitp)

212

ErikW at May 08, 2011 04:20 PM (ve3s

I'm not an asshole. A lot of people think I'm an asshole. But I'm not.

I'm just a socially maladjusted, paste eating shut-in with poor hygene, lack of impulse controll and a bad case of Tourettes syndrom.

I don't know why people think I'm an asshole.

It's just my cross to bear.

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 12:26 PM (Y2WVW)

213 I learned that The things that pass for knowledge I can't understand.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 12:26 PM (HBqDo)

214 All our times have come here but now they're gone

but only if you have more cowbell.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:27 PM (M9Ie6)

215 I learned I either have to do more of it, or less of it. I'm not sure which one.

Posted by: nine coconuts at May 08, 2011 12:27 PM (uz3hs)

216

"I wanna rock 'n' roll all night
And part of every day"

"No, it's rock n roll all night and PARTY every day"

"No, I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3."

My problem is, now that I'm somewhat older, I can only rock and roll up till 10 or so, and I can party only every few days.

I'm waiting to see if Kiss performs on stage with walkers.

Posted by: Bill H at May 08, 2011 12:27 PM (q8CmE)

217
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, what should you do?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:27 PM (IeVVe)

218 If Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back, then I don't want it, even with proof of purchase.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:27 PM (c0A3e)

219 I learned his anaconda don't.want.none.unless.you.got.buns hun.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 12:27 PM (HzXiS)

220 With 14 people in a two bathroom house
"You had to fight,, for your right,, to potty"

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 12:28 PM (H+LJc)

221 I learned that ferric oxide suffers from insomnia

Posted by: nine coconuts at May 08, 2011 12:28 PM (uz3hs)

222 I learned that when I imagine there's no heaven, no countries and no possessions, that's actually Hell on Earth and I don't want to live in such a place.

Posted by: Canadian Infidel at May 08, 2011 12:28 PM (GKQDR)

223 meatloaf is best with mashed potatos and gravy.

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:28 PM (h+qn8)

224
We know that you can't start a fire without a spark.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:28 PM (IeVVe)

225 I learned they can Kickstart Your Heart!

Posted by: Nicky Sixx at May 08, 2011 12:29 PM (37eb6)

226 PGiS, all my lovin', I give to you.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:29 PM (BgUOV)

227 I'm just a socially maladjusted, paste eating shut-in with poor hygene, lack of impulse controll and a bad case of Tourettes syndrom.

I think I'm in love.
So...what are you wearing right now...?

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:29 PM (Rwudm)

228
Smoke pot
Smoke pot
Everybody smoke pot

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 12:29 PM (VMcEw)

229 she's dancing liek never before?

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:29 PM (h+qn8)

230 Peaches come in a can
They were put there by a man

Posted by: brak at May 08, 2011 12:29 PM (nIoiW)

231 I learned that it's too late to play the bleeding heart's show.

Posted by: jcjimi - lusting for Neko at May 08, 2011 12:30 PM (xgtN5)

232 I learned that if you try to lay a divorcee in new york city you'll have to put up some kind of a fight. Eventually she'll cover you with roses right before blows your nose and your your mind.

Posted by: Keef at May 08, 2011 12:30 PM (yPTcS)

233 Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 04:27 PM (IeVVe)

I should let you know. Sugar!

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:30 PM (Rwudm)

234 I learned that Lump was in my head.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:30 PM (xgtN5)

235 Oh shit! Speaking of Sting, I heard this song on the radio this morning and the DJ came on after the song and said it was one of Obama's favorite songs

(!!!)

Don't infer that he plays for the other team though - nope- don't do that.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 12:30 PM (HzXiS)

236 I was bummed to learn that short people got no reason to live. But I turn to Jenny at 867-5309.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 12:31 PM (FcR7P)

237 let me know?

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:31 PM (h+qn8)

238

I learned that I don't live today.

Posted by: garrett at May 08, 2011 12:31 PM (37eb6)

239
I should let you know. Sugar!

Yes, yes you should.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:31 PM (IeVVe)

240 I learned that it's nobody's business but the Turks.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:31 PM (xgtN5)

241 I learned some shit about eating cereal before going to school. But, you know, it's all right.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:31 PM (BgUOV)

242 Thank Gaia runningrn isn't here, else she would be gracing us with the soundtrack from Footloose, *shivers*. That's one thing I'm going to add on the list of "Things that God Should Destroy by Direct Intervention."

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:31 PM (c0A3e)

243
It's just a jump to the left,
And then a step to the right

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 12:31 PM (VMcEw)

244

c'mon baby let me know

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:32 PM (h+qn8)

245

Hold your hoses, I'll be right over!

Posted by: Eileen at May 08, 2011 12:32 PM (DPM1U)

246 I learned that life is a rock. But the radio rolled me.

(From my childhood. A very, very bad song...)

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:32 PM (Rwudm)

247 What happened over that cryptic post by ktnxbai *cough* on this mornings open thread?

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 12:32 PM (H+LJc)

248
I was gonna clean my room, get a job, and do a lot of other stuff. But I didn't.

Why?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:32 PM (IeVVe)

249 It's just a jump to the left,
And then a step to the right

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 04:31 PM (VMcEw)

It's really kind of insane

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:32 PM (xgtN5)

250 I've learned that in the desert you can remember your name for there ain't no one for to give you no pain.

Posted by: Michele at May 08, 2011 12:33 PM (m+ooU)

251
Johnny Rivers:

I wanna jump but I'm afraid I'll fall
I wanna holler but the joint's too small
Young man rhythm's got a hold of me too
I got the rockin' pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 08, 2011 12:33 PM (ndqJC)

252 I learned that Can't buy me love.

_{and also that free samples have their place}

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 12:33 PM (HBqDo)

253 I learned about the hand jive, the crazy hand jive.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:33 PM (BgUOV)

254 I learned that everyone's gone to the Moon.

Witnessed it myself Nov. '08.

Posted by: Bean Blossom at May 08, 2011 12:33 PM (T1d4e)

255 253 I learned that life is a rock.

No, life is a lemon and you should ask for your money back.

Still, Rock and Roll Dreams Comes through...for you.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:33 PM (c0A3e)

256 I would have referenced Baby Got Back in my original thread, but I find Sir Mix-A-Lot's Put Em On The Glass the far superior song, but the lyrics a bit hard to snark on since it is an endearing subject to me.

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 12:33 PM (JEVge)

257 I learned that the world is comin' to an end, I don't even care.
As long as I can have this limo and this orange hair.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:33 PM (Rwudm)

258 I learned about the average caveman, a long time ago, at home, listening to his stereo, had needs. I also learned about Bertha Butts and her sisters.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (CYH6v)

259
I don't bring you flowers.

(What don't you do?)

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (IeVVe)

260 I learned that Triangle Man hates Particle Man.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (xgtN5)

261 ^{Something I learned today
Black and white is always grey
Looking through the window pane
I'm not inside your brain}

Posted by: Husker Du at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (37eb6)

262 eman, oooh baby, baby, oooh baby.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (RZ8pf)

263 You don't own me.

Posted by: Lesley Scissors Gore at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (RMlr1)

264

Hey! I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.

Posted by: Kenny R at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (UoOT+)

265 Today, I just read that the Man was shot dead by a gun that didn't make any noise.

Posted by: Bill H at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (q8CmE)

266
The suds are in the bucket
And the clothes are hangin out on the line

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (VMcEw)

267 I learned not to get angry when my mom smokes pot, or cry when my dog runs off. Because what I've got is Love.

Posted by: buzzion at May 08, 2011 04:33 PM (oVQFe)

But what if she hits the bottle and goes right for the rock?

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 12:34 PM (JEVge)

268 I learned that Admiral Haley had to take a bath or he couldn't go to sea.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:35 PM (I49Jm)

269 Here's a one hit wonder that was being played to death out in the Bay Area

I learned that bartenders named after liquor were judged to be the best women in the area, especially by those people who worked on the ocean.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:35 PM (M9Ie6)

270 I learned that I'm listening to a Mexican radio while eating barbequed iguana.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at May 08, 2011 12:35 PM (/U/Mr)

271 The White Zone is For Loading and Unloading ONLY!

Posted by: Central Scrutinizer at May 08, 2011 12:35 PM (37eb6)

272 I learned that it was yellow.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:35 PM (I49Jm)

273 273 Today, I just read that the Man was shot dead by a gun that didn't make any noise.

Was that zombie Johnny Cash, and was this is in Reno, just so he could watch a man die?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:35 PM (c0A3e)

274 Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 04:34 PM (IeVVe)

I don't sing you love songs, either.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:35 PM (Rwudm)

275 I learned the calliope crashed to the ground.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:36 PM (BgUOV)

276

Fish,

or turned cartwheels across the floor

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:36 PM (h+qn8)

277 No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women? Yeah, I learned that I'm turning Japanese.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 12:36 PM (FcR7P)

278 He was only a lad and you really can't blame him.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:36 PM (I49Jm)

279 I'm not sure about all of this, but I would like to know, where you got the notion. I said I 'd like to know where you got the notion to rock the boat, baby.

Posted by: laceyunderalls donning platforms at May 08, 2011 12:36 PM (HzXiS)

280

You don't bring me flowers .

sniff

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (h+qn8)

281 I learned that out on the edge of darkness,there rides a peace
train!

-Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again.

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (yPTcS)

282 you are supposed to tell her "I'm sorry" if she's crying.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (RZ8pf)

283
Watch out where the huskies go...

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (VMcEw)

284

I don't bring you flowers.

(What don't you do?)

I hardly talk to you anymore, when I come thru the door at the end of the day.

Posted by: stillwater at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (0GpN4)

285
Life is a highway...

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (IeVVe)

286 I learned that Lucille picked a fine time to leave...

Bitch.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (Rwudm)

287 o someone already did flowers anymore.

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (h+qn8)

288 Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 04:33 PM (Rwudm)

Har! I've still got that 45! Nuh-da-dut, nuh-da-dut, nut-nut-naaaah! My sisters and I used to love to sing that together.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (CYH6v)

289 Of course, everyone knows that all the young dudes carry the news.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:37 PM (I49Jm)

290 Did anyone learn that life is a highway and you're going to ride it all night long?

Posted by: lowandslow at May 08, 2011 12:38 PM (GZitp)

291 I learned to just follow the magic footprints.

Posted by: stillwater at May 08, 2011 12:38 PM (0GpN4)

292 I know that the Kasbah has jet Fighters and that dont like it when you rock the Kasbah.

Posted by: William Amos at May 08, 2011 12:38 PM (6+YfO)

293 293
Life is a highway...

If life is just a highway, than the soul is just a car.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:38 PM (c0A3e)

294 PGiS, shake it, baby, shake it all night long!

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (BgUOV)

295

Something I've learned since moving to North Carolina...

"...Rain is a good thing. Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey. Whiskey makes my baby, feel a little frisky...

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (xMT+4)

296

Let's hear it for the boy, he's gotta cut loose, because its almost paradise.

(I thought I'd step into the breach since runningrn isn't here)

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (RZ8pf)

297 Now the ads are double posting.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (qIHlG)

298 Today, I just read that the Man was shot dead by a gun that didn't make any noise.

Was that zombie Johnny Cash, and was this is in Reno, just so he could watch a man die?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 04:35 PM (c0A3e)

Could have been , but zombie Johnny Cash wasn't known as Mr Fantasyman.

Posted by: Bill H at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (q8CmE)

299
"Love Will Keep Us Together," if you stop humping the pool boy babe!

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (ndqJC)

300

haha, you should read all of it

They are approaching the Imperial Navy airbase at Bougainville, right on schedule, at 9:35. A shadow passes overhead and Yamamoto glances up to see the silhouette of an escort, way out of position, dangerously close to them. Who is that idiot? Then the green island and the blue ocean rotate into view as his pilot puts the Betty into a power dive....

They enter the jungle in level flight, and Yamamoto is astonished how far they go before hitting anything big. Then the plane is bludgeoned wide open by mahogany trunks, like baseball bats striking a wounded sparrow, and he knows itÂ’s over.... As his seat tears loose from the broken dome and launches into space, he grips his sword, unwilling to disgrace himself by dropping his sacred weapon, blessed by the emepror, even in this last instant of his life....

He realizes something: The Americans must have done the impossible: broken all of their codes. That explains Midway, it explains the Bismarck Sea, Hollandia, everything. It especially explains why Yamamoto Â— who ought to be sipping green tea and practicing calligraphy in a misty garden Â— is, in point of fact, on fire and hurtling through the jungle at a hundred miles per hour in a chair, closely pursued by tons of flaming junk. He must get word out! The codes must all be changed! This is what he is thinking when he flies head-on into a hundred-foot-tall Octomelis sumatrana.

http://tinyurl.com/3u7enev

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (MtwBb)

301 Har! I've still got that 45! Nuh-da-dut, nuh-da-dut, nut-nut-naaaah! My sisters and I used to love to sing that together.

Posted by: Theresa D at May 08, 2011 04:37 PM (CYH6v)

Seriously...we used to sing it on the school bus. Made the cranky old bus driver nuts.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (Rwudm)

302 I learned that frogs arm themselves before trying to get a little somthin somthin from mice.

Posted by: nine coconuts at May 08, 2011 12:39 PM (uz3hs)

303 Popular music is a tool to educate the masses!

One and one = we're havin' some fun!

Posted by: Luther Campbell at May 08, 2011 12:40 PM (/izg2)

304 I love it...it's a way of life.

Posted by: stillwater at May 08, 2011 12:40 PM (0GpN4)

305
If life is just a highway, than the soul is just a car.

...the fuck?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:40 PM (IeVVe)

306

@ 268 and 304

I learned there is an exquisite dead guy outside my high-rise apartment.

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 12:40 PM (JEVge)

307

I'm just a socially maladjusted, paste eating shut-in with poor hygene, lack of impulse controll and a bad case of Tourettes syndrom.

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 04:26 PM (Y2WVW)

So you're a typical Moron, then.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 12:40 PM (ve3s8)

308
"Boy Named Sue," a/k/a Barack

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at May 08, 2011 12:41 PM (ndqJC)

309 eman, I already brought my milkshake to the yard, if you liked you shoulda put a ring on it.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:41 PM (RZ8pf)

310 I learned I'm leavin', leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:41 PM (BgUOV)

311 I know that I ain't always right but I've never been wrong

Posted by: laceyunderalls now sporting Birkenstocks at May 08, 2011 12:41 PM (HzXiS)

312 I learned that muskrats whirl, twirl and tango

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:41 PM (xgtN5)

313 Unfortunately, radio killed the video star. And apparently he was murdered in my car. Try explaining that to the police.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:41 PM (I49Jm)

314 I realized that Tin soldiers and Nixon were coming and we're finally on our own.

Posted by: Hillary at May 08, 2011 12:41 PM (yPTcS)

315 I learned to just follow the magic footprints.

Only if they are in the snow

Posted by: Bill Monroe at May 08, 2011 12:42 PM (M9Ie6)

316 I learned that the only card you need is....the Ace of Spades.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie (with a huge mole) at May 08, 2011 12:42 PM (DPM1U)

317 Lady Gaga is a dumb young twit

Something I've read before implied it's the other way round. She wasn't making any money/headway til she went pop/weird dress up.

Posted by: Dave at May 08, 2011 12:42 PM (i+n69)

318 I learned I'm leavin', leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again.

Careful of those Imams in religious garb. They'll sic CAIR on your ass if you tell them to get lost.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 12:43 PM (HzXiS)

319 Everybodys gone away, said they're moving to LA

Posted by: Bamster at May 08, 2011 12:43 PM (CZBRL)

320 I learned not to get angry when my mom smokes pot, or cry when my dog runs off. Because what I've got is Love.

Posted by: buzzion at May 08, 2011 04:33 PM (oVQFe)

Looovin! Is what I got! Just remember that!

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 12:43 PM (ve3s8)

321 The first song i heard was on a neighbor's 45

I learned that there are advantages to the railroad using eminent domain to bisect your property. Especially when the bill collector visits.

Posted by: nine coconuts at May 08, 2011 12:43 PM (uz3hs)

322

Did you also learn that Instanbul was once Constantinople?

Posted by: buzzion at May 08, 2011 04:39 PM (oVQFe)

Yes, but it's none of your business unless you're a Turk.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:43 PM (xgtN5)

323
and, also, tell her I need my baby...

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:43 PM (IeVVe)

324 I learned that a next door with a daughter had a favor, so he gave her just a little kiss...

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:44 PM (Rwudm)

325 Did you also learn that Instanbul was once Constantinople?

LOL, I'll bet not many of the younger Morons know that one.

Posted by: Bill Monroe at May 08, 2011 12:44 PM (M9Ie6)

326 Vic, I raise you because I don't think there are any Russians, nor any Yanks, just corporate criminals, playing with tanks. (but, to be honest, I haven't figured out your song yet)

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 12:44 PM (FcR7P)

327 They said they'd buy me a pizza...

Posted by: stillwater at May 08, 2011 12:44 PM (0GpN4)

328 334 I learned that a next door with a daughter had a favor, so he gave her just a little kiss...

Remember though that good girls go to heaven, and bad girls go everywhere.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:44 PM (c0A3e)

329 It's just another manic monday. wish it was sunday, that's my fun day.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:45 PM (RZ8pf)

330
I'll put it another way:

Why do "I want to ride it all night long?"

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:45 PM (IeVVe)

331

I learned that the modern man hides behind a mask so no one else can see their true identity.

oh, and how to say thanks to an automoton in Japanese.

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 12:45 PM (JEVge)

332
If you see Kay
Will you tell her that I love her

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 12:45 PM (VMcEw)

333 I learned that everybody's learning a brand new dance now.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:45 PM (I49Jm)

334 PGiS, is you is or is you ain't my baby?

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:45 PM (BgUOV)

335

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:45 PM (M9Ie6)

336 I know this much is true...

Posted by: laceyunderalls sporting mall hair bangs at May 08, 2011 12:45 PM (HzXiS)

337

You cannot eat pudding before you eat your meat>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sigh. The good old days.

Posted by: joejm65 at May 08, 2011 12:46 PM (BDB5n)

338 Everybodys gone away, said they're moving to LA

Posted by: Bamster at May 08, 2011 04:43 PM (CZBRL)

They better get used to it fast.

Nobody walks there, you know.

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 12:46 PM (JEVge)

339 eman, fly me to the moon.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:46 PM (RZ8pf)

340 I'm hungry like the wolf. Seriously, it's about time to grill those brats.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 08, 2011 12:46 PM (xMT+4)

341 Jenny played guitar, Johnny played bass.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:46 PM (xgtN5)

342 Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto (yeesh, I burned out on that one....)

Posted by: stillwater at May 08, 2011 12:46 PM (0GpN4)

343 (but, to be honest, I haven't figured out your song yet)

Which one?

And I don't know the one about the Russians either.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:47 PM (M9Ie6)

344 I learned that I'm going to a dead man's party. Who could ask for more?

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:47 PM (I49Jm)

345

oh, and how to say thanks to an automoton in Japanese.

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 04:45 PM (JEVge)

Ah, yes. That would be "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto".

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:47 PM (Rwudm)

346 Ohhhh. It's EAT your meat. That clears it up.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 12:47 PM (H+LJc)

347 You call someplace paradise, kiss it goodbye.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 12:47 PM (HBqDo)

348 I learned that silver threads and golden needles suck to repair a ruptured coronary artery. And that Carmelita is a selfish bitch.

Posted by: jasonj at May 08, 2011 12:47 PM (rlvr/)

349 Inquiring minds need to know!

I'm assuming that's missing a /satire.
Repeat question if you need your ears defiled.

Posted by: Dave at May 08, 2011 12:47 PM (i+n69)

350 They will if they watched Tiny Tunes

Tiny Tunes???

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:48 PM (M9Ie6)

351 I learned Roxanne don't need to put on the red light.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:48 PM (BgUOV)

352 41 There is no dark side of the moon, it's all dark. Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 03:53 PM (HBqDo) ... as a matter of fact, it's all dark

Posted by: ya2daup, an iPhone iMpeded iPosting at May 08, 2011 12:48 PM (saYMt)

353 I learned that yuppies will yell at you like you like you did something wrong. They'll give you the finger and then they're gone.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 12:48 PM (ve3s8)

354 Ohhhh. It's EAT your meat. That clears it up.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 04:47 PM (H+LJc)

Huh. Beat has been working for me for years.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 12:48 PM (xgtN5)

355

I know that 173rd Airborne troopers were dropped in the jungle where the choppers would rumble with the smell of napalm in the air.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 08, 2011 12:48 PM (RPYjQ)

356 According to this, Ziggy played guitar. Who knew?

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:48 PM (I49Jm)

357 I should have learned to keep my head out of the window of the Train to Bangkok.

Posted by: Dave at May 08, 2011 12:49 PM (i+n69)

358 Speaking of Tom Cochrane, I also learned that the Lunatic Fringe is out there, I believe they live in my computer at a place called AoSHQ.

Posted by: lowandslow at May 08, 2011 12:49 PM (GZitp)

359 I learned that everybody's learning a brand new dance now.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 04:45 PM (I49Jm)

So come on, come on, and do the Locomotion with me...

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:49 PM (Rwudm)

360 I learned you can get a fever from a cat scratch.

Posted by: Nuge at May 08, 2011 12:49 PM (EL+OC)

361 268 I learned that Triangle Man hates Particle Man. I learned that the sun is a mass of incandescent gas like a gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is turned into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees. (helped my kid in science with that bit of info.)

Posted by: Michele at May 08, 2011 12:49 PM (m+ooU)

362

I learned that I'm in the jungle baby...and apparently I'm going to diiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeoooooooowwww!!!

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at May 08, 2011 12:49 PM (DPM1U)

363 Sen. Schumer (Asshole, N.Y.) proposes a no ride list for Scamtrack. I volunteer 'Sheriff Joe' Biden to head up that list.

Posted by: torabora at May 08, 2011 12:50 PM (eggRg)

364 Chinese women don't want you to talk.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 12:50 PM (H+LJc)

365 The greatest Red Eye pregame bit was when Andy Levy would recite gangsta rap lyrics in his deadpan style.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at May 08, 2011 12:50 PM (Klxrr)

366 Brandy is a fine girl.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 12:50 PM (7utQ2)

367 358 You call someplace paradise, kiss it goodbye.

Well, if it's the last kiss, you'd better make it last all night.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:50 PM (c0A3e)

368 Tiny Tunes???

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 04:48 PM (M9Ie6)

Baby Bugs Bunny cartoon. With some grown-up references thrown in.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:50 PM (Rwudm)

369 Some caught a freight some caught a plane find the sunshine leave the rain

Posted by: Ronster at May 08, 2011 12:50 PM (CZBRL)

370 I learned to not cry for the wasted years 'cause she ain't worth the salt in my tears.

Posted by: slug at May 08, 2011 12:50 PM (cPuUo)

371 Apparently music lyrics keep morons on topic.

Posted by: laceyunderalls sporting mall hair bangs at May 08, 2011 12:51 PM (HzXiS)

372 I learned that Kenneth knows the frequency.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:51 PM (I49Jm)

373 PGiS, I just met a girl named Seattle.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:51 PM (BgUOV)

374
She'd make a good wife.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:51 PM (IeVVe)

375 I'd like to meet his tailor.

Sometimes things are exactly as they seem.

All she wants to do is dance.

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 12:51 PM (yrGif)

376 I learned you can get a fever from a cat scratch.

Posted by: Nuge at May 08, 2011 04:49 PM (EL+OC)

And you get it from the kitty next door.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:51 PM (Rwudm)

377 Oh helllllllll no! Off bad 80's hair sock. Take your can of Rave hairspray with you.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 12:52 PM (HzXiS)

378 354 The bartenders one. Same song - they stood there laughing. They're not laughing anymore! (we could be doing completely different genres and eras). Anyways, I know that Jenny's got a gun.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 12:52 PM (FcR7P)

379 I learned there's a lot of doh ray me in selling myself as a sex crazed skanky vixen.

Posted by: Lady Gaga at May 08, 2011 12:52 PM (eggRg)

380 "Banging a gong" has neither now, nor never met my crieria for "getting it on".

Posted by: ya2daup, an iPhone iMpeded iPosting at May 08, 2011 12:52 PM (saYMt)

381 wish it was sunday, that's my fun day.

And people laugh at the Friday girl? I think Prince wrote that in five minutes.

Posted by: lowandslow at May 08, 2011 12:52 PM (GZitp)

382 Baby Bugs Bunny cartoon. With some grown-up references thrown in.

LOL, they did a Four Lads song from 1953 on a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Wonders will never cease.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 12:52 PM (M9Ie6)

383 I learned that you can eat a chili dog, or just suck on it.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 12:52 PM (Txl/u)

384 I learned that Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite...

THE WORST FUCKING POP SONG EVER!

Posted by: Puking Just Remembering This Song at May 08, 2011 12:52 PM (yPTcS)

385 There is someplace called Paradise you can get tickets to.
Or maybe he had two dicks and a pair of dice?

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 12:53 PM (H+LJc)

386 i learned that Venus was her name. Oh, and she'd got it.... Hopefully, the "it" isn't genital warts.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:53 PM (I49Jm)

387 They call me Dr. Love.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 12:53 PM (7utQ2)

388 Thunder only happens when it's raining.

Posted by: Clueless at May 08, 2011 12:53 PM (piMMO)

389 There's a man down there, might be your man I don't know.

Posted by: ontherocks gone galting at May 08, 2011 12:53 PM (HBqDo)

390

Also, I learned that she's too fat for me.

An old polka...

Posted by: Canadian Infidel at May 08, 2011 12:53 PM (GKQDR)

391 Jenny played guitar, Johnny played bass.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 04:46 PM (xgtN5)

Whatever. For fucks sake wear a hat.

Oh, I learned your friends suck.

Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine.

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (JEVge)

392 I've learned that girls like laying out on the top deck, rubbing in the 15 SPF.

Posted by: ErikW at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (ve3s8)

393 I learned I can't get no. No satisfaction. But, I try, and I try and I try.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (BgUOV)

394 Anyways, I know that Jenny's got a gun.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 04:52 PM (FcR7P)

I thought Janie got a gun...?

Jenny's the skank with the phone number on the men's room walls.

And Jamie's cryin.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (Rwudm)

395

eman, is that a song lyric or for real?

I've been Nice, and the isle of Greece and I sipped champagne on a yacht.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (RZ8pf)

396 I do know that they paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (yQWNf)

397

I learned that...

"Caterpillar sheds his skin to find a butterfly within.
First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is."

And then I realized that when I've been reduced to pasting lame-ass Donovan lyrics, my time would be better spent slicing onions and peppers in preparation for dinner.

And that's one to grow on!

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (xMT+4)

398 I learned that poor Rubin Hurricane Carter was framed for murder by a bunch of racist prosecutors and jurors.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (Txl/u)

399 "Banging a gong" has neither now, nor never met my crieria for "getting it on".

You never knew Angie Gong.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 12:54 PM (7utQ2)

400 I learned that some agent dude has double O soul, baby.

Posted by: Bean Blossom at May 08, 2011 12:55 PM (T1d4e)

401 There's a man down there, might be your man I don't know.

Posted by: ontherocks gone galting at May 08, 2011 04:53 PM (HBqDo)

Hellooooo!

Posted by: Little Man in the Boat at May 08, 2011 12:55 PM (xgtN5)

402 Or maybe he had two dicks and a pair of dice?

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 04:53 PM (H+LJc)

No, he's got two chickens to paralyze.

But your way might be fun, too.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:55 PM (Rwudm)

403 It's been scientifically proven that big-legged women ain't got no soul. More typically, they have diabetes.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at May 08, 2011 12:55 PM (DPM1U)

404
I want you to pack your bags; we're leaving tonight.

What do I have in my pocket?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:55 PM (IeVVe)

405 There's a man down there, might be your man I don't know.

Posted by: ontherocks gone galting at May 08, 2011 04:53 PM (HBqDo)

Gimme three steps mister

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 12:55 PM (yrGif)

406 Country Western fans know that the people of Luckenbach, Texas ain't feeling no pain.

Posted by: lowandslow at May 08, 2011 12:56 PM (GZitp)

407 I learned the mid-west farmers daughter really makes you feel alright.

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 12:56 PM (EL+OC)

408 @368 I should have learned to keep my head out of the window of the Train to Bangkok. Posted by: Dave at May 08, 2011 04:49 PM (i+n69) True, but one night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 12:56 PM (I49Jm)

409

Growing up, for some reason I thought "Afternoon Delight" was about getting ice cream for a snack.

I'm still just about that naive actually.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 12:56 PM (RZ8pf)

410 I learned that fat-bottomed girls they make the rockin' world go round.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 12:56 PM (Txl/u)

411 Anyways, I know that Jenny's got a gun.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 04:52 PM (FcR7P)

I thought Janie got a gun...?

Jenny's the skank with the phone number on the men's room walls.

And Jamie's cryin.

Also, Josie is on vacation. Far away.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 12:56 PM (7utQ2)

412 I've learned that nearly every person that wears skinny jeans just shouldn't.

Good Christ. _{not a song lyric; just an observation}

Posted by: laceyunderalls sitting at Starbucks and shaking her head at some of these girls at May 08, 2011 12:57 PM (HzXiS)

413 I learned to wear my sunglasses at night.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 12:57 PM (BgUOV)

414 What do I have in my pocket?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 04:55 PM (IeVVe)

Two tickets to paradise.

Or a pickle.

Or you're just glad to see me.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:57 PM (Rwudm)

415
When this old world starts gettin me down...

where do I go?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 12:57 PM (IeVVe)

416 I'm still just about that naive actually.

Sell it somewhere else, Ms. Cherry Stem.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 12:57 PM (7utQ2)

417

dooontooon!

Posted by: Slowhand at May 08, 2011 12:58 PM (m6OUa)

418 Country Western fans know that the people of Luckenbach, Texas ain't feeling no pain.

Posted by: lowandslow at May 08, 2011 04:56 PM (GZitp)

They also know that Lonely Women Make Better Lovers.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 08, 2011 12:58 PM (yQWNf)

419 I learned that fat-bottomed girls they make the rockin' world go round.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 04:56 PM (Txl/u)

Yes. Yes we do.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:58 PM (Rwudm)

420 I wonder if anyone ever brought Steve Winwood his hired love.

Posted by: Uncle Mikey at May 08, 2011 12:58 PM (umot9)

421
You're out of touch.

I'm out of time.

But I'm out of my head when you're not around.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 08, 2011 12:58 PM (FYCiJ)

422 Country Western fans know that the people of Luckenbach, Texas ain't feeling no pain.

Bob Wills is also still the King.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 12:59 PM (7utQ2)

423 where do I go?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 04:57 PM (IeVVe)

Up on the roof, J.T.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 12:59 PM (Rwudm)

424 427
When this old world starts gettin me down...

where do I go?

Wonder down the ancient hallway, take the stairs only one at a time... go to the room at the top, you're at the end of the line...

Open the door and lay down on the bed...

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 12:59 PM (c0A3e)

425

i've learned:

it's.. dog, dog, dog eat dog.. out there.

Posted by: Slowhand at May 08, 2011 12:59 PM (m6OUa)

426

I'm just a socially maladjusted, paste eating shut-in with poor hygene, lack of impulse controll and a bad case of Tourettes syndrom.

I think I'm in love.
So...what are you wearing right now...?

antisocialist at May 08, 2011 04:29 PM (Rwudm)

Oh no, I'm not falling for this again.

First come a few messages back and forth, the excitement builds, email adresses are exchanged, and finally, as the anticipation builds to unbearable levels, plans to meet are made, travel plans are executed, and contact achieved.

At which point I discover that the andogenous "nic" isn't for a hot looking nerd girl, but a hairy, aggressively amorous bear named "Earl".

I'm not going through that hell again.

Pics of your boobs, right now, or I'm wiping and shredding my hard drive, deleting all my online profiles, and getting a new internet provider.

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 01:00 PM (Y2WVW)

427

I want a horny little jewish princess, with a garlic aroma that could level tacoma.

don't blame me zappa made me do it

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 01:00 PM (MtwBb)

428 When smuggling Coors, one must be east bound.

And down.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:00 PM (7utQ2)

429 406: You may be right, but it sure sounds like 'Jenny' in my head right now. But you can't deny that it was like lightning, everybody was frightening, the music was soothing, and they all started grooving.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:01 PM (FcR7P)

430 TRUE:
Lady calls the country station here in Austin and asks "Who is Bob Wells and why is he the king"?

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:01 PM (H+LJc)

431
You just go where your sneakers sneak
And don't forget to use your head

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 01:01 PM (VMcEw)

432 AH HEARH IH THRU TEH GRAHVIH. THAH NOH MUH LONGAH WUH YU BE MAH. OH YEH, AH HEARH IH THRU TEH GRAHVIH! ANH AHM JUH ABOUH TU LOOSH MAH MIH!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Marlee Matlin at May 08, 2011 01:01 PM (FYCiJ)

433 Well ya'll got my Looking Glass song so here is one from 1964

I learned that a gambler from the South needs two things; a suitcase and trunk and he is ill unless he's on a drunk

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 01:02 PM (M9Ie6)

434

dooontooon!

That's where I go when I'm alone and life is making me lonely.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 01:02 PM (IeVVe)

435 Tell them all that Groucho said You're just another onion head

Posted by: Runt at May 08, 2011 01:02 PM (Fr8N6)

436
444 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:02 PM (H+LJc)

437 I larned that Oye como va

means what's cooking good lookin'

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 01:02 PM (HBqDo)

438 I learned that for a good time, you can call Jenny at 867-5309.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:02 PM (Txl/u)

439 I've learned that if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last.

Posted by: Entropic Drifter at May 08, 2011 01:03 PM (jnTOq)

440 Absolutely, one must burn that mutha down.

Ya'll.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:03 PM (7utQ2)

441 vaa vee blee en se babaveh vee see la co bala dala dee ve bee go flabee!

Posted by: Bob Dylan at May 08, 2011 01:03 PM (JEVge)

442

it's.. dog, dog, dog eat dog.. out there.

Posted by: Slowhand at May 08, 2011 04:59 PM (m6OUa)

It's also a Free-for-All.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 01:03 PM (xgtN5)

443 i've learned that before the cream sets out too long you must whip it, whip it real good.

Posted by: Shoey at May 08, 2011 01:03 PM (m6OUa)

444

kratos listens to way different music than the rest of us.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:03 PM (RZ8pf)

445 I've learned you get a good job with good pay and you're okay

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 01:03 PM (EL+OC)

446

At which point I discover that the andogenous "nic" isn't for a hot looking nerd girl, but a hairy, aggressively amorous bear named "Earl".

I'm not going through that hell again.

Pics of your boobs, right now, or I'm wiping and shredding my hard drive, deleting all my online profiles, and getting a new internet provider.

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 05:00 PM (Y2WVW)

Welllllll...I'm not THAT hairy!!

Posted by: Earl at May 08, 2011 01:04 PM (Rwudm)

447 eman, is that a song lyric or for real? I've been Nice, and the isle of Greece and I sipped champagne on a yacht. Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 04:54 PM (RZ8pf) The real lyric is "I just met a girl named Maria" from West Side Story. I took liberty with it.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:04 PM (BgUOV)

448 I learned that little boxes used to be made of Tic-Tacs. Now, of course, they're made of skittles.

Posted by: ya2daup, an iPhone iMpeded iPosting at May 08, 2011 01:04 PM (snhlu)

449 AH HEARH IH THRU TEH GRAHVIH. THAH NOH MUH LONGAH WUH YU BE MAH. OH YEH, AH HEARH IH THRU TEH GRAHVIH! ANH AHM JUH ABOUH TU LOOSH MAH MIH!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Marlee Matlin at May 08, 2011 05:01 PM (FYCiJ)

WORD!

Posted by: Zombie Marvin Gaye at May 08, 2011 01:04 PM (yQWNf)

450 i learned Tom Sawyer is a modern day warrior.

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:05 PM (93zw2)

451 Standing on her mama's porch, she told me that she'd wait forever.

^{_{That lying fucking bitch!}}

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 08, 2011 01:05 PM (FYCiJ)

452 If the roof is on fire, do not attempt to extinguish it because it has an Oedipus complex.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:05 PM (H+LJc)

453 Welllllll...I'm not THAT hairy!!

I'll take statements of dubious comfort for $800, Alex.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:05 PM (7utQ2)

454 I learned that a gambler from the South needs two things; a suitcase and trunk and he is ill unless he's on a drunk

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 05:02 PM (M9Ie6)

House of the Rising Sun.

Ugh. Hubby sings that all. the. time.

Posted by: antisocialist at May 08, 2011 01:05 PM (Rwudm)

455 eman, OK then "Tonight, tonight, there's only you tonight"

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:06 PM (RZ8pf)

456 How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat... "We Don't Need No Education" from Pink Floyd's album "The Wall". The very end of the song where the schoolmaster scolds the students. Am I right?

Posted by: parteagirl at May 08, 2011 01:06 PM (Gh/nn)

457

Posted by: ya2daup, an iPhone iMpeded iPosting at May 08, 2011 05:04 PM (snhlu)

You're giving away our postition to the tonsil stealers with that thing

Posted by: robtr at May 08, 2011 01:06 PM (MtwBb)

458 Country Western fans know that the people of Luckenbach, Texas ain't feeling no pain.

But only if you are from Littlefield (my wife is from there as well)

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 01:06 PM (M9Ie6)

459 Just in case anyone doubted it--I'm so vain.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:06 PM (7utQ2)

460 I learned that the trick to being a pinball wizard is a really supple wrist. A limp wrist can also be invaluable if you're ghey.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:06 PM (Txl/u)

461 Never go to bed with a bottle of whiskey and sleeping tablets by your head.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:06 PM (H+LJc)

462 i also learned Istanbul is Constantinople.

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:07 PM (93zw2)

463
Don't stop believing.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 01:07 PM (auR3B)

464 Ugh. Hubby sings that all. the. time.

Got it in one

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 01:07 PM (M9Ie6)

465 Shot through the heart head, and you're to blame!

Posted by: Osama bin Laden at May 08, 2011 01:07 PM (FYCiJ)

466 Disco ducks need to be hunted and killed That is all

Posted by: Elmer at May 08, 2011 01:08 PM (Fr8N6)

467 i also learned Istanbul is Constantinople.

WAS

WAS!!!

Sheesh, a failing grade on a meaningless Sunday afternoon thread is hard to accomplish.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:08 PM (7utQ2)

468 I learned that One of These Days I'm going to get cut into little pieces by old psychedelic hippies.

Posted by: jrg at May 08, 2011 01:08 PM (yPTcS)

469 I learned Oye como va means Hey, what's up?

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 01:08 PM (EL+OC)

470 Oh, and the wheel in the sky keeps on turning.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 01:08 PM (auR3B)

471 Let me tell you son, well it ain't no fun starin' straight down a .44.

Posted by: Fella Wit' The Hair Colored Yella at May 08, 2011 01:08 PM (Txl/u)

472 eman, OK then "Tonight, tonight, there's only you tonight"

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 05:06 PM (RZ8pf)

LOL, that was the only song in that entire musical that was WAS.

And that was in the day when musicals were actually about music.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 01:09 PM (M9Ie6)

473

I learned that if there one thing that makes Joey sick, is when someone tries to hide behind politics. He wished their time would go by fast, but somehow they manage to make it last.

Clearly he wrote that about the Clintons _{I know, I know}

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 08, 2011 01:09 PM (RPYjQ)

474 I learned Ol' Neil put her down.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:09 PM (BgUOV)

475 I learned that Ruby is just about fixin' to take her love to town.

Posted by: Bean Blossom at May 08, 2011 01:09 PM (T1d4e)

476 I heard it turned into a barroom blitz.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:09 PM (BgUOV)

477 Hollywood sells Californication

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:10 PM (H+LJc)

478 And so I drank enough till she looked good to me In the morning, I was sorry that I drank it. Waking up where I did not I tend to be, Cheek to cheek,with A pig in a blanket.

Posted by: Fern wood denizen at May 08, 2011 01:10 PM (Fr8N6)

479 I learned Ol' Neil put her down.

Corollary: A southern man don't need him around anyhow.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:10 PM (7utQ2)

480 well Nikki was a sex fiend.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:10 PM (RZ8pf)

481 'Back from an outing with the hubby - Costco (where we got some really sweet lamb chops for $9.99/lb, plus dog food and manchego cheese) and then to a local sports grill. The latter was playing all of the oldies but baddies, such as Boston. My sister used to listen to that crap - ugh!

Re ktnxbai, I wonder if we could get a hold of ace or someone through Twitter?

Posted by: Y-not at May 08, 2011 01:10 PM (pW2o8)

482 I learned somewhere over the rainbow
blue birds fly

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 01:11 PM (EL+OC)

483 PGiS, but you're so far away.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:11 PM (BgUOV)

484 I leaned that I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing, 'til they got a hold of me.

Posted by: Entropic Drifter at May 08, 2011 01:11 PM (jnTOq)

485 488 I learned that Ruby is just about fixin' to take her love to town.

Well, Rouges do it from behind...

/Wait, that isn't a song-song!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:11 PM (c0A3e)

486 Oh and I learned about busting up a Starbucks.

Posted by: Y-not at May 08, 2011 01:11 PM (pW2o8)

487
Bet you didn't know that a, b, c is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 01:11 PM (auR3B)

488 I leaned there's a bathroom on the right.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 08, 2011 01:12 PM (VRPYo)

489 I learned that Iran... Iran's so far away.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 08, 2011 01:12 PM (5I0Yr)

490 I learned that Ruby is just about fixin' to take her love to town.

Yes, and the dude singing the song didn't start the Crazy Asian War.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:12 PM (H+LJc)

491 I've been told, repeatedly, that there's no sunshine when she's gone.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:13 PM (FcR7P)

492 OK, I'm in Seattle and it's sunny. I'm getting the f*ck out of the house. Later 'rons.

Posted by: jcjimi at May 08, 2011 01:13 PM (xgtN5)

493 I know eman, why doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore. It would be so fine to see your face at my door.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:13 PM (RZ8pf)

494 Bet you didn't know that a, b, c is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

But are they easy as Sunday morning?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:13 PM (7utQ2)

495 I was reminded of my old friend Jerry. He was a race car driver. He drove so Goddamned fast.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 08, 2011 01:13 PM (FYCiJ)

496 Ok, here's a question for the more experienced Moronettes...
Is it hard to love a man whose legs are bent and paralyzed?

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:14 PM (H+LJc)

497 . . .that Alexander the Great died of fever in Babylon.

Posted by: Damn Dirty RINO at May 08, 2011 01:14 PM (hSwL0)

498 AH HEARH IH THRU TEH GRAHVIH.

Fuck. Now I have the giggle fits and they won't stop.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 01:14 PM (HzXiS)

499 479 i also learned Istanbul is Constantinople.

WAS

WAS!!!

Sheesh, a failing grade on a meaningless Sunday afternoon thread is hard to accomplish.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 05:08 PM (7utQ2)

hey I had to work today and started at 6 Am teaching a horse not to fear paper towels. gimme a break daywalker...

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:14 PM (93zw2)

500 Also, this Paradise seems limited. I've always thought of Paradise as being a dimensionless place, which spans out infinitely in all directions. If Paradise is located by a dashboard light, it is most likely very limited. Or is the dashboard light just an entry point for Paradise, something you have to touch or manipulate to enter? Inquiring minds need to know! Let me sleep on it, and I'll give you an answer in the morning.

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 08, 2011 01:14 PM (eOsx/)

501 I learned that Iran... Iran's so far away.

Clever.

Now drop and give me five hundred for puns against humanity.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:14 PM (7utQ2)

502 I learned Jeremiah was a bullfrog.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:14 PM (BgUOV)

503 I learned that they don't write 'em like that anymore. Of course, neither does he. He's a local DJ.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:14 PM (FcR7P)

504 I've learned you've gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 08, 2011 01:15 PM (tJBi7)

505 teaching a horse not to fear paper towels

And how much Stimulus funding did you receive?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:15 PM (7utQ2)

506 "Posted by: buzzion: 508 Well she was masturbating in a hotel lobby when I met her."

She probably came in through the bathroom window, too.

Posted by: Entropic Drifter at May 08, 2011 01:15 PM (jnTOq)

507 Apparently, no one can stop the rain but folks do wonder about that.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:15 PM (H+LJc)

508 I heard about a guy who's been around the world, from London to the Bay.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:16 PM (FcR7P)

509 PGiS, gonna take a fast train.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:16 PM (BgUOV)

510
I don't know, but I've been told
A Big legged woman ain't got no soul

Posted by: BHO at May 08, 2011 01:16 PM (auR3B)

511 If I've got a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul.

Posted by: The Atom Bomb of Loving Kindness at May 08, 2011 01:16 PM (jqHOY)

512 Primus sucks. Really.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 08, 2011 01:16 PM (RPYjQ)

513 You have got to keep your eyes upon the road and your hands upon the wheel.

Posted by: Dave at May 08, 2011 01:16 PM (i+n69)

514 nothing compares to you

Posted by: td at May 08, 2011 01:16 PM (w7TI0)

515 It was the end of summer. I was banging my best friend's mom. Late September rolled around. Thought I should get back to school. Wished now I had never seen her face. Can't remember her name though. Think it starts with M.

Posted by: Carnoustie at May 08, 2011 01:17 PM (CDtZU)

516 I learned we have fought in every clime and place

Posted by: Barbarian at May 08, 2011 01:17 PM (EL+OC)

517 Gollum steals girlfriends.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:17 PM (7utQ2)

518 511 . . .that Alexander the Great died of fever in Babylon.

It could have been all those chemicals rushing though his bloodstream (it has been alleged that Alexander was poisoned)...

Or maybe he didn't admit to some of those bad mistakes he made (like not having a clear method of succession upon his death).

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:17 PM (c0A3e)

519
Where does Luca live?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 08, 2011 01:17 PM (IeVVe)

520 You can drive an old truck home with one headlight.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:18 PM (H+LJc)

521 AHL AH EVAH WANHED.... AHL AH EVAH NEEHED.... IH HEAH! IH MAH AHMS! WUHS AH VEHEE!! UHNESUSEHEE!!! THEH CAH ONHEE DO HAHM!!!!

Posted by: Marlee Matlin at May 08, 2011 01:18 PM (FYCiJ)

522 519 teaching a horse not to fear paper towels

And how much Stimulus funding did you receive?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 05:15 PM (7utQ2)

none. I had to shell out to the horse trainer, who is younger and faster on her feet than i. plus a friend bought me the paper towels. So i am taxed to death but paper products are privately subsidized. Trainer is funded thru a philanthropic grant. Could call the horse a communal project... that would make my far a Kolkhaus?

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:18 PM (93zw2)

523

I learned that Gina works for The Man, who owns a diner. On coming home from The Man's diner, Gina turns her meager pay over to that bum Tommy, whose union's been on strike.

Tommy used to play the guitar but he had to hock it. Now he doesn't do shit.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:19 PM (Txl/u)

524

Posted by: Marlee Matlin at May 08, 2011 05:18 PM (FYCiJ)

LOL. You almost owed me a laptop screen...

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:19 PM (c0A3e)

525 Ooom Pompa Ooom Pompa Mow Mow.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:19 PM (7utQ2)

526 I learned not to waste my money on a new set of speakers because I'd get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers.

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 01:19 PM (JEVge)

527 I learned what "Eek Op Ork Ah-Ah" means.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:20 PM (FcR7P)

528 I learned about the reflex while stuck in the middle of a bad romance.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:20 PM (BgUOV)

529 540 Ooom Pompa Ooom Pompa Mow Mow.

Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:20 PM (c0A3e)

530 526 Primus sucks. Really.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 08, 2011 05:16 PM (RPYjQ)

i knew those guys in my misspent youth. This statement really cannot be overstated.

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:20 PM (93zw2)

531 The bird is the word, too.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:21 PM (7utQ2)

532

Well she was masturbating in a hotel lobby when I met her.

I understand, she asked if wanted to waste some time and you couldn't resist when you saw little Nikki grind.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:21 PM (RZ8pf)

533 I learned:
Music of rebellion make you wanna rage
But it's make by millionaires who are nearly twice your age

Posted by: Shannow at May 08, 2011 01:21 PM (nkofU)

534 Another flight diverted. An "unruly" customer tried to open a door midflight.

If I were a betting type, I might bet that he had been over-served.

Posted by: Clueless at May 08, 2011 01:21 PM (piMMO)

535 I think I'm turning Japanese.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:21 PM (Txl/u)

536 On Ventura Highway, you can find:

--longer days
--nights stronger than moonshine
--alligator lizards in the air
--the days surround your daylight
--seasons crying "no despair"

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 08, 2011 01:21 PM (VRPYo)

537

546 The bird is the word, too.

Damned if that wasn't the next thing I was going to write.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 08, 2011 01:22 PM (RPYjQ)

538 I think I'm turning Japanese.

That only works if American women stay away from you.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:23 PM (7utQ2)

539 Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:23 PM (Txl/u)

540 I went under the boardwalk to get out of the sun and have some fun but guys with knives robbed me. The singer dude lied.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:23 PM (H+LJc)

541 I learned, "Bye-bye paste. Bye-bye yuckiness. So long ooziness. Give sea bond a try-y".

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 08, 2011 01:23 PM (5I0Yr)

542 I learned she's got Betty Davis eyes.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:23 PM (BgUOV)

543 I learned that I can keep right on messing with the danger zone, because there ain't no law against it yet.

Posted by: Clueless at May 08, 2011 01:23 PM (piMMO)

544 504 I've been told, repeatedly, that there's no sunshine when she's gone.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 05:13 PM (FcR7P)

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know i know I know I know I know I know

I ought to leave the young thing alone.

Posted by: Bill Withers at May 08, 2011 01:24 PM (uz3hs)

545
Stay inside if there's a sharp dressed man about because if they step out they will do you in.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:24 PM (H+LJc)

546 --alligator lizards in the air

I for one am glad that winged alligators are extinct.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:24 PM (7utQ2)

547 I learned there's a midnight train to Georgia.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:24 PM (BgUOV)

548 I found out that Katty Lied.

Posted by: Dan at May 08, 2011 01:24 PM (yPTcS)

549

"You cannot eat pudding before you eat your meat. That is just preposterous."

Ace doesn't eat his pudding. It's there for cooling and celebratory purposes.

Posted by: Ghost of John Brown at May 08, 2011 01:25 PM (cBcNP)

550 I got a voice
I love to sing
I sing like a girl
And I sing like a frog
I'm a lonely boy
I ain't got a home

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 08, 2011 01:25 PM (yQWNf)

551 Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:14 PM (93zw2)
Is this your latest acquisition that you wrote about a few weeks back? Sounds like you are having good times!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:25 PM (yrGif)

552
You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
If you wanna play the saxophone!

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2011 01:25 PM (VMcEw)

553 You may be right I may be crazy But it just may be a lunatic youre looking for............

Posted by: Carnoustie at May 08, 2011 01:26 PM (CDtZU)

554 I learned that life's the same except for my shoes.

Posted by: Rik at May 08, 2011 01:26 PM (yPTcS)

555 I learned to hate the song Armageddon It.

Posted by: Raggot the Gerbil at May 08, 2011 01:26 PM (DPM1U)

556 I learned there's a midnight train to Georgia.

Being a Pip: Quite possibly the easiest gig in the history of not just music, but everything.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:26 PM (7utQ2)

557 I learned she was just seventeen, if you know what I mean.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:26 PM (BgUOV)

558 Why is she always gone too long, anytime she goes away?
You're clinging too much.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:26 PM (H+LJc)

559

Your body will never be the same buzzion.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:27 PM (RZ8pf)

560 From The Sound of SEAL BlackOp Trips

Helos on rooftops and long ropes a hangin'
footsteps in hallways dead muzzies they're draggin'
when we found the room that bin Laden was in
we finally new that the shots could begin.
Thru the TV, and the bookshelf, like fine music it sings,
silencers muffle my favorite things.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 01:27 PM (HBqDo)

561 Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 08, 2011 05:25 PM (yQWNf)

Do that be you Clarence Henry?

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:27 PM (yrGif)

562 eman, I'm on the top of the world and the only explanation I can find is the love that I found ever since you been around, your love's put me at the top of the world.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:27 PM (RZ8pf)

563 I learned to stay out of hotels in California. Apparently, they don't let you leave.

Posted by: dagny at May 08, 2011 01:28 PM (sZJTK)

564 Jack hit the road and didn't come back no more.

Posted by: Snafu at May 08, 2011 01:28 PM (8d28r)

565 Being a Pip: Quite possibly the easiest gig in the history of not just music, but everything.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 05:26 PM (7utQ2)

Word.

Posted by: Vanna White at May 08, 2011 01:28 PM (yQWNf)

566 573
I learned she was just seventeen, if you know what I mean.

Don't worry - Captain Jack will get you by tonight.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:28 PM (c0A3e)

567 @ 532 -- Perhaps. But, I'll just stick with Iron Maiden's version because they're Iron Maiden.

Posted by: Damn Dirty RINO at May 08, 2011 01:28 PM (hSwL0)

568 When the lights go out in Georgia, watch yourself if you are an innocent man.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:28 PM (7utQ2)

569

At seventeen I learned the truth.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:28 PM (RZ8pf)

570 I learned that putting the lime in the coconut will make you feel like shit, and you won't see any improvement if you drink more lime in the coconut, no matter that the idiot doctor says.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:29 PM (Txl/u)

571 Don't buy a big waterbed if you want to have a successful marriage.

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:29 PM (H+LJc)

572 I learned she's lost that lovin' feelin'. Whoa Whoa Whoa

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:29 PM (BgUOV)

573 Chuckie is in love.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (7utQ2)

574 I still don't know the money and glue one from the original post

Posted by: nine coconuts at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (uz3hs)

575 While some bodies here might be wonderlands...

I'll stay living here (near) Allentown.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (c0A3e)

576 Speaking of songs, prepare to be sickened.

You just know his whore mother is probably filming this for him to put on youtube.

I hope Child Protective Services removes him from his parents' home.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (HzXiS)

577 So was Billy Ray McCalister gay?

Posted by: dagny at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (sZJTK)

578 I learned to tally me bananas before sunrise

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (yrGif)

579 567 Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:14 PM (93zw2)
Is this your latest acquisition that you wrote about a few weeks back? Sounds like you are having good times!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 05:25 PM (yrGif)

totally wild group project. WE LOVE THIS HORSE!!!! shes super smart but has a mind of her own and is not willing to trust on faith. you gotta convince her.

Lisa is playing rubber dummy for the crazy shit. Today she was kicking and striking at the paper towels like a warhorse! But she love standing on a block (prep training for X rays) and will go back to the block and beg to just stand there safely and be a good girl rather than be attacked by those scary satanic paper towels and have to take it!!!!

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (93zw2)

580 I realized that I, too, wanna be sedated.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (8WTzC)

581 I learned that any lovin's good lovin', so I took what I could get. But I hadn't seen nuthin' yet.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:30 PM (FcR7P)

582 572 I learned there's a midnight train to Georgia. But it was a rainy night in Georgia.

Posted by: Snafu at May 08, 2011 01:31 PM (8d28r)

583 PGiS, bee bop a loo la, she's my baby, bee bop a loo la, don't mean maybe.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:32 PM (BgUOV)

584
590 nine coconuts
DEVO, "Jocko Homo"

Posted by: Beto at May 08, 2011 01:32 PM (H+LJc)

585 I have many powers. But, I can't get next to you.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:32 PM (7utQ2)

586 Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-o...

Posted by: Ronster at May 08, 2011 01:32 PM (CZBRL)

587 And lest ye forget: Lime in the coconut will make you feel better.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at May 08, 2011 01:32 PM (8WTzC)

588 594 I learned to tally me bananas before sunrise

What do you have, about thirty thousand pounds of bananas?

/That song was based of a truck accident near Scranton PA.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:32 PM (c0A3e)

589 I learned that for a woman, a diamond ring is no substitute for an able man on a wedding night

Posted by: nine coconuts at May 08, 2011 01:33 PM (uz3hs)

590 But it was a rainy night in Georgia.

Rains like hell in Kentucky, too.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:33 PM (7utQ2)

591 I learned there's a midnight train to Georgia. But it was a rainy night in Georgia. And the lights went out.

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 08, 2011 01:34 PM (eOsx/)

592 I learned that you're no good for me and that I'm no good for you. So, I'm going to look you right in the eye and then tell you what I'm going to do.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 01:34 PM (I49Jm)

593 576 From The Sound of SEAL BlackOp Trips

Helos on rooftops and long ropes a hangin'
footsteps in hallways dead muzzies they're draggin'
when we found the room that bin Laden was in
we finally new that the shots could begin.
Thru the TV, and the bookshelf, like fine music it sings,
silencers muffle my favorite things.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 05:27 PM (HBqDo)

i know someone who likes this one better:

Somewhere in a lonely hotel room There's a guy starting to realize That eternal fate has turned his back on him It's 2 A.M. the fear has gone I'm sitting here waiting the gun still warm Maybe my connection is tired of taking chances Yeah there's a storm on the loose Sirens in my head Wrapped up in silence all circuits are dead Cannot decode my whole life spins into a frenzy Help, I'm stepping into the twilight zone Place is a madhouse feels like being cloned My beacon's been moved under moon and star Where am I to go now that I've gone too far? Help, I'm stepping into the twilight zone Place is a madhouse feels like being cloned My beacon's been moved under moon and star Where am I to go now that I've gone too far?

So you'll come to know When the bullet hits the bone So you'll come to know When the bullet hits the bone I'm falling down a spiral, destination unknown Double crossed messenger, all alone Can't get no connection, can't get through, where are you? Well the night weighs heavy on his guilty mind This far from the borderline When the hitman comes he knows damn well he has been cheated And he says Help, I'm stepping into the twilight zone Place is a madhouse feels like being cloned My beacon's been moved under moon and star Where am I to go now that I've gone too far?

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:34 PM (93zw2)

594 I learned I will survive.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:34 PM (BgUOV)

595 Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:30 PM (93zw2)
We had a horse like that--smart as a whip, but with a mind of her own. Also had absolutely no idea how powerful she was, and thankfully she was sweet enough that she never really used her power.

Towels do sound evil and traumatic. Good luck with your training!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:34 PM (yrGif)

596 606 I learned that for a woman, a diamond ring is no substitute for an able man on a wedding night

That's defective - never built to really last.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:34 PM (c0A3e)

597 That song was based of a truck accident near Scranton PA.

Insert gratuitous Joe Biden joke here.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:34 PM (7utQ2)

598 I don't worry with being coy when breaking up anymore. It's easy. I can just slip out the back or hop on a bus. There really isn't much to discuss so...here's the key.

Posted by: Clueless at May 08, 2011 01:35 PM (piMMO)

599 you ain't seen nothin yet,,babababy

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 01:35 PM (h+qn8)

600 But it was a rainy night in Georgia. Was that the night they tore old Dixie down? What miserable working conditions.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:35 PM (FcR7P)

601 When your with a snuff queen it's better to get drunk before screwing

Posted by: Jimmy B at May 08, 2011 01:35 PM (yPTcS)

602 I learned that for a woman, a diamond ring band of gold is no substitute for an able man on a wedding night

fixed it. sorry

Posted by: nine coconuts at May 08, 2011 01:35 PM (uz3hs)

603 You? Hound dog.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:35 PM (7utQ2)

604 Rains like hell in Kentucky, too. Is that where the Love Shack is located.

Posted by: Snafu at May 08, 2011 01:35 PM (8d28r)

605 Fuzzy trees make you itchy.

Posted by: delmar at May 08, 2011 01:35 PM (d9sox)

606 Posted by: Mr. Dave at May 08, 2011 05:30 PM (8WTzC)
I just want to be comfortable, and if sedation helps, well...

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:36 PM (yrGif)

607 621 Rains like hell in Kentucky, too.
Is that where the Love Shack is located.

Is that why the tin roof was rusted?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 08, 2011 01:36 PM (c0A3e)

608 Well MIL is here for Mother's Day dinner. Time to go folks.

Posted by: Vic at May 08, 2011 01:36 PM (M9Ie6)

609 I learned not to step on his blue suede shoes.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:36 PM (BgUOV)

610

she's like the wind through my tree?

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 01:37 PM (h+qn8)

611 Kentucky rain is COLD If you want to keep a secret only tell a cat.

Posted by: palerider at May 08, 2011 01:37 PM (ITaIZ)

612 You know, I never did learn what man (if we're still alive) or woman (if she can survive) may find in the year 2525. Sure, I know all sorts of stuff about 3535, etc., but nothing about 2525.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:37 PM (FcR7P)

613 I found out I had to relax - don't do it - if I wanted to get to it

Posted by: Ma Bell at May 08, 2011 01:38 PM (8qxAW)

614

eman, you are a hard habit to break.

But, my son is taking me out for a mother's day lunch so I'll say good-bye to love for now.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at May 08, 2011 01:38 PM (RZ8pf)

615 Do yo ever get the feeling that the co-bloggers are just fucking with us?

We are waaay too easy.

Posted by: Clueless at May 08, 2011 01:38 PM (piMMO)

616

I learned that twenty-six thousand tons of iron ore is too big a load if you get caught in the Gales of November. At least, that's what the Chippewa legends say.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:39 PM (Txl/u)

617 612 Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:30 PM (93zw2)
We had a horse like that--smart as a whip, but with a mind of her own. Also had absolutely no idea how powerful she was, and thankfully she was sweet enough that she never really used her power.

Towels do sound evil and traumatic. Good luck with your training!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 05:34 PM (yrGif)

this one is big and powerful and knows it. Thats why i got her free.

She has a powerful hate on for the Before People. But she gratefully loves us. So shes never ever been mean, but her answer to every problems is: BLOW RIGHT THROUGH IT.

good times my friend, and totally amusing. She does her thing and we sidestep and chse her around the pen laughing. Never spank her, just chase her off

The mare is always visibly stunned. We give her nothing to fight. Just a choice-- do it our way or run in circles. After a while she gets tired and just look at us like DAYUM! OK I GUESS

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:39 PM (93zw2)

618 I learned life sucks, then you die.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:39 PM (BgUOV)

619 Posted by: Clueless at May 08, 2011 05:38 PM (piMMO)
Perhaps it is time to send in the clones?

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:40 PM (yrGif)

620 I learned that Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman. But was mistaken in that belief.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 01:40 PM (I49Jm)

621 629 Men and women are either going to thrive or fight in the year 2525--I could never tell which.

Posted by: delmar at May 08, 2011 01:40 PM (d9sox)

622 Do yo ever get the feeling that the co-bloggers are just fucking with us?

Wait, don't tell me.....

Phil Collins?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:40 PM (7utQ2)

623 @ 598 -- That was like being lured down an alley.

Posted by: Damn Dirty RINO at May 08, 2011 01:41 PM (hSwL0)

624 I learned that the best way to find out if your old lady is cheating on you is to post a personal ad in the newspaper in which she enjoys fru-fru girly drinks, getting drenched in a downpour, could care less about Indian stretching techniques, proclaim that you desire someone with at least a 2kg cerebellum, that 12 am is the optimal time for sexual intercourse and the optimal place to do said activity is on a beach mound someplace in California. Then when you discover you are both cheating, you can laugh all about it while you head down to the courthouse to begin divorce proceedings.

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 08, 2011 01:41 PM (eOsx/)

625 I'm up again.

Posted by: Zombie Joan Crawford at May 08, 2011 01:41 PM (i+n69)

626 PGiS, the waiting is the hardest part.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:42 PM (BgUOV)

627 After a while she gets tired and just look at us like DAYUM! OK I GUESS

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:39 PM (93zw2)

A powerful training technique--wear them out and let them decide that maybe there is a better way.

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:42 PM (yrGif)

628 I learned that Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman.
But was mistaken in that belief.

Funny, I made the same mistake with Lola.

Posted by: Ray at May 08, 2011 01:43 PM (yPTcS)

629 >>Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:34 PM (93zw2)

Sweet
_{no wonder your horse is nervous}

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 01:43 PM (HBqDo)

630 257 I've learned that in the desert you can remember your name for there ain't no one for to give you no pain.
_________

Yeah, well, it's a shame the guy who wrote that song didn't know much about deserts. Just because the riverbed is dry doesn't mean the river is dead.

Posted by: Anachronda at May 08, 2011 01:43 PM (6fER6)

631 The devil is a good, but not great fiddle player when in Georgia.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:43 PM (7utQ2)

632 I learned something interesting about Lola.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 01:43 PM (BgUOV)

633 I learned that Betty Davis donated her corneas for transplant after her death.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 01:44 PM (I49Jm)

634 Funny, I made the same mistake with Lola.

Posted by: Ray at May 08, 2011 05:43 PM (yPTcS)

How do you spell that?

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:44 PM (yrGif)

635 edmund fitzgerald

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 01:44 PM (h+qn8)

636 Liar, liar, liar

Three Dog Night tune.

Posted by: Joe Wilson at May 08, 2011 01:44 PM (auR3B)

637 How do you spell that?

G-L-O-R-I-A

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 08, 2011 01:45 PM (7utQ2)

638 I learned that if you break into the captain's trunk, you're probably off the crew of the sloop John B for good.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:46 PM (Txl/u)

639 I learned that Jeremiah the Bullfrog was an alcoholic. But a generous one.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 01:46 PM (I49Jm)

640 I realized that I, too, wanna be sedated.
A buddy of mine's Americana band covers that. It's hilarious.

Posted by: Dave at May 08, 2011 01:47 PM (i+n69)

641

L_O_L_A

looooolaa

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 01:47 PM (h+qn8)

642 I learned that there are "smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go!"

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:47 PM (yrGif)

643 I learned that Jeremiah the Bullfrog was an alcoholic. But a generous one. Problem was he was a bit of a mumbler.

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 08, 2011 01:47 PM (eOsx/)

644 L-O-L-A Lola

Posted by: Ray at May 08, 2011 01:48 PM (yPTcS)

645 645 After a while she gets tired and just look at us like DAYUM! OK I GUESS

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:39 PM (93zw2)

A powerful training technique--wear them out and let them decide that maybe there is a better way.

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 05:42 PM (yrGif)

She is too beautiful a horse to die or live scared.

so she keeps expectin a spankin, and we keep laughing and just dont give her anything to fight, but dont give in either.

First time she pointed her ass at me i scratched the dock instead of running, and i thought her knees would buckle from shock. EVERYONE ran before. NOBODY had ever scratched her like that. Now she gets cased off for such disrespect, but in the beginning before we got the halter on it was a great way to prove you were not only NOT scared you were also friendly.

Its gonna be so fun to ride her i can HARDLY WAIT.

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:48 PM (93zw2)

646 Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 05:46 PM (I49Jm)
I helped him out on various occasions.

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:48 PM (yrGif)

647 i always wanted to know what PLP meant...how come he don't come PLP with me down at the meter no more?

anyone? anyone? bueller?

Posted by: elspeth at May 08, 2011 01:49 PM (f624v)

648 I learned that the wind cries Mary.

Posted by: rtw at May 08, 2011 01:50 PM (Spm+1)

649 Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:48 PM (93zw2)
I envy you the first ride!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:50 PM (yrGif)

650 647 >>Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 05:34 PM (93zw2)

Sweet
_{no wonder your horse is nervous}

Posted by: ontherocks at May 08, 2011 05:43 PM (HBqDo)

heh.

he always has treats in his pockets and is not really dangerous to animals of the four legged sort.

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 01:50 PM (93zw2)

651 I also learned that there a purple people eaters out there

Posted by: Ma Bell at May 08, 2011 01:51 PM (8qxAW)

652 Posted by: rtw at May 08, 2011 05:50 PM (Spm+1)
Where are you going with that gun in your hand?

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 08, 2011 01:51 PM (yrGif)

653 Just found out some senior citizen in Pasadena has a super stock Dodge as a daily driver.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 01:51 PM (auR3B)

654 I learned that the kid is not Michael Jackson's son, notwithstanding Billie Jean's lies and trash talking. I find Michael's position highly credible.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 01:51 PM (Txl/u)

655 I learned that I don't want to set the world on fire.... Awww, hell who am I foolin'? Burn that sucker down.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 01:52 PM (I49Jm)

656 sometimes one can be as fresh as a bright as a bright blue sky

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 01:52 PM (h+qn8)

657 646 I learned that Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman.
But was mistaken in that belief.

Funny, I made the same mistake with Lola.

Posted by: Ray at May 08, 2011 05:43 PM (yPTcS)

It's perfectly understandable. Sometimes a dude looks like a lady.

Posted by: Steven at May 08, 2011 01:52 PM (QgI7g)

658

Lastly, I learned that Friday comes after Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. That little 14 year old youtube girl, "Friday".

I thought that was Never On A Sunday-The Chordettes

....and I always thought it was the theme from Happy Days

Posted by: Bill R. at May 08, 2011 01:53 PM (EhlQq)

659 I've learned if you drive up the Bruce peninsula to the ferry across Lake Superior you'll hear the Wreck at least once. It's a regional favorite apparently.

Posted by: Dave at May 08, 2011 01:53 PM (i+n69)

660 I learned to call it research.

Posted by: Anachronda at May 08, 2011 01:54 PM (6fER6)

661 I learned that you shouldn't bother requesting or sending in any creepy ass clowns, cause those mutha f*ckas already be all up in dis place.

Posted by: ed at May 08, 2011 01:54 PM (Y2WVW)

662 I learned that one is the loneliest number that you'll ever know. But it seems kind of obvious, when you think about it.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:55 PM (FcR7P)

663 I learned that "You shouldn't kiss me like this, unless you mean it like that"

Posted by: Museisluse at May 08, 2011 01:55 PM (a8aqn)

664 I learned that the kid is not Michael Jackson's son, notwithstanding Billie Jean's lies and trash talking. I find Michael's position highly credible. I thought it was a chair.

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 08, 2011 01:56 PM (eOsx/)

665
Mama's, if you live near a levee and it break, move to Chicago.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 01:56 PM (auR3B)

666 Mama's, if you live near a levee and it break, move to Chicago. No problem. I drove over there, and the levee was dry.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 01:57 PM (FcR7P)

667
I talk to the trees
But they don't listen to me

Posted by: palin steele at May 08, 2011 01:58 PM (auR3B)

668 Apparently, the bridge is either invisible or has somehow been misplaced.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 01:58 PM (I49Jm)

669 Love bites.

Posted by: Mike Tyson at May 08, 2011 01:58 PM (FYCiJ)

670 I learned there's a whole lotta shakin' goin' on.

Posted by: Michael J. Fox at May 08, 2011 01:59 PM (FYCiJ)

671 I would not be telling the truth if I said that we couldn't get much higher.

Posted by: rtw at May 08, 2011 01:59 PM (Spm+1)

672 i also learned that better not grow up to be a cowboy

Posted by: Ma Bell at May 08, 2011 02:00 PM (8qxAW)

673 I learned that Johnny Walker has two brothers, Black and Red. In addition, it should be noted that when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 02:00 PM (FcR7P)

674

don't want your kiss's that's for sure.

Posted by: willow at May 08, 2011 02:00 PM (h+qn8)

675

I learned that papa got a brand new bag, but I never heard an explanation about what happened to the old one.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 02:00 PM (Txl/u)

676 I was astonished to find that Jean the genie saves all my dead hair for making up underwear.

Posted by: Ziggy at May 08, 2011 02:01 PM (yPTcS)

677 Wait, don't tell me.....

Phil Collins?

LOL

Posted by: Clueless at May 08, 2011 02:01 PM (piMMO)

678 I talk to the trees But they don't listen to me Posted by: palin steele And neither does anyone else.

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 08, 2011 02:02 PM (eOsx/)

679 I learned that I am either Hades or Satan and as a consequence of that, I've brought you a gift...fire.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 02:02 PM (I49Jm)

680 Ooh, ooh, yeaha,a,yeaha. Ooh, ooh,yeaha,a,yeaha.

Posted by: Robert, in every damn song at May 08, 2011 02:02 PM (8WTzC)

681 Did you know my mother has a squeezebox that she wears on her chest? Surprised the hell out of me.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 02:02 PM (FcR7P)

682 also there are lunatics in the grass

Posted by: Ma Bell at May 08, 2011 02:04 PM (8qxAW)

683 Ok this was one of the BEST things i learned for Thanksgivings, and i hope you remember it:

You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them. And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.
And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the guitar. With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and sing it when it does. Here it comes.

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 02:04 PM (93zw2)

684 @695 I was astonished to find that Jean the genie saves all my dead hair for making up underwear. Posted by: Ziggy at May 08, 2011 06:01 PM (yPTcS) He also has an unusually strong interest in architecture. Specifically, chimneys.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 02:04 PM (I49Jm)

685 Posted by: Robert, in every damn song at May 08, 2011 06:02 PM (8WTzC)

A ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang might smooth it out.

Posted by: palin steele at May 08, 2011 02:05 PM (auR3B)

686 If you watch TV, a man will tell you how white your shirts can be.

Posted by: rtw at May 08, 2011 02:05 PM (Spm+1)

687 Now she's with one of my good time buddies, they're drinking in some crosstown bar.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at May 08, 2011 02:07 PM (8WTzC)

688 One is a lonelier number than twenty seven.

Posted by: TexasJew at May 08, 2011 02:07 PM (L8Let)

689 I learned that when ordering bottle of red,or a bottle of white, it all depends on your appetite.

Posted by: Jack M. at May 08, 2011 02:07 PM (ZRH+A)

690 I learned that I'm going to cry 96 tears. Not 95. Not 97. Nor even 98. But exactly 96 tears.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 02:08 PM (I49Jm)

691 If you tie a yellow ribon around an old oak tree, strange people on buses will applaud.

Posted by: TexasJew at May 08, 2011 02:09 PM (L8Let)

692 I've learned that I can get by, and get high, with a little help from Billy Shears.

Posted by: Jack M. at May 08, 2011 02:09 PM (ZRH+A)

693 This entire nation is actually for Richard Stands.

Posted by: TexasJew at May 08, 2011 02:10 PM (L8Let)

694
BOOM! BOOM!
OUT GO THE LIGHTS!

Posted by: Seal Team Six at May 08, 2011 02:10 PM (auR3B)

695 705 If you watch TV, a man will tell you how white your shirts can be.
_________

The kilocycles
The kilohertz
The passage of my life is measured out in shirts.

Posted by: Anachronda at May 08, 2011 02:10 PM (6fER6)

696 #713 We have a winner.

Posted by: Dave at May 08, 2011 02:11 PM (i+n69)

697 I learned that the stores in heaven are not open 24 hours, but if you've got the right connections you can still get service even when they're closed.

Posted by: Cicero at May 08, 2011 02:14 PM (Txl/u)

698 I learned to check the weather report before setting baked goods outside. Especially if the dog just ate the recipe.

Posted by: rtw at May 08, 2011 02:15 PM (Spm+1)

699 I learned that when discussing transcontinental transvestism, all the colored girls say "doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo do do dooo, doooo"

Posted by: Jack M. at May 08, 2011 02:18 PM (ZRH+A)

700
Baking tip.
Don't leave a cake out in the rain.

Posted by: Donna Summer at May 08, 2011 02:18 PM (auR3B)

701 According to this, when a young lady walks into the room and she has a rather thin waist and rather large round buttocks the polite thing to do is pop a boner.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 08, 2011 02:22 PM (I49Jm)

702 I learned that in order to sing a certain song, you must have a little bit of class. Or so a captain told me. He denied being a sailor.

Posted by: wtp at May 08, 2011 02:26 PM (4RFKN)

703

Everbody funny, now you funny too!

Werewolves drink pina coladas at Trader Vics and have perfect hair!

Posted by: boned to the bone at May 08, 2011 02:28 PM (0ba8c)

704 When the sign says you've got to have a membership card to get inside, deal with it. Don't go home and write a pissy song about how you jump on fences and yell at people's houses because they don't want you trespassing on other people's property. Oh, and you can't even wash, so you can't eat, you ain't supposed to be here. You dumb smelly hippie, you.

Posted by: Donna V. at May 08, 2011 02:28 PM (duwIQ)

705 I also leaned to go crazy with the cheese wiz and that I'm crazy to complain about knocking up someone and dribbling on my shirt at the same time.

Posted by: wtp at May 08, 2011 02:28 PM (4RFKN)

706 If I had played games with everyone in Cherry Hill park til way after dark, maybe a man with money would have said "C'mon, honey." Crap, too late now.

Posted by: Donna V. at May 08, 2011 02:34 PM (duwIQ)

707 I learned that French girls want Cartier, Italian girls want cars, American
girls want everything in the world, English girls are prissy,
White girls will drive you mad, Black girls just want to get
fucked all night, and Chinese girls are really just teases.

Posted by: Mick at May 08, 2011 02:34 PM (yPTcS)

708 I learned to ask politely to be taken to Funky Town. I also learned that we got the beat. Yeah.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 02:35 PM (BgUOV)

709 Jenny's number is 867-5309

Posted by: boned to the bone at May 08, 2011 02:36 PM (0ba8c)

710 . . .that one night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.

Posted by: Damn Dirty RINO at May 08, 2011 02:38 PM (hSwL0)

711 I learned that Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman. But was mistaken in that belief. Funny, I made the same mistake with Lola. ---------------------------- Hey, tell me about it

Posted by: Jo-Jo at May 08, 2011 02:39 PM (duwIQ)

712 I learned that trucks from the quarry primarily deliver to a business on Electric Avenue.

Posted by: Anachronda at May 08, 2011 02:41 PM (6fER6)

713 I learned that I needed to relax while not doing it if I wanted to cum!

Posted by: boned to the bone at May 08, 2011 02:41 PM (0ba8c)

714 We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a brighter day. Of course, that doesn't stop people in Africa from starving to death, but it sure made us feel good!

Posted by: Donna V. at May 08, 2011 02:42 PM (duwIQ)

715 I learned that I'm going to cry 96 tears.

It would have been only 69 but the censors made me spill a few more.

Posted by: Bill R. at May 08, 2011 02:43 PM (EhlQq)

716 @ 733 -- Yeah, we were pretty awesome about all that.

Posted by: Damn Dirty RINO at May 08, 2011 02:44 PM (hSwL0)

717 When the sh!t hits the fan, I need lawyers, guns, and money!

Posted by: boned to the bone at May 08, 2011 02:44 PM (0ba8c)

718 Hey, tell me about it

Posted by: Jo-Jo at May 08, 2011 06:39 PM (duwIQ)

Both you and Loretta had it coming.

Posted by: All The Girls at May 08, 2011 02:47 PM (yPTcS)

719 I learned that when you send a third-generation moonshinin' cracker off to two tours of duty in Vietnam, he comes home with a brand new plan, involving seeds from Colombia and Mexico and planting in a holler.

And then he has a run-in with Marshall Raylan "The Beverly Killbilly" Givens. But that's what I learned from TV.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 08, 2011 02:51 PM (dUKEs)

720 I learned that the world moves on a woman's hips, the passion of lovers is for death, we all live in a yellow submarine, and no body does it better than california girls but if you cant be with the one you love , then...we'll put a boot in yer ass, its the American way ( well I already knew most of that)

Posted by: meleager at May 08, 2011 02:51 PM (Wc4BO)

721 I learned that the Kids are Alright.

Posted by: Pete Townsend, Internet Researcher at May 08, 2011 02:52 PM (ZRH+A)

722 I learned that a street peddler will sell you a detachable penis for $23, but you can talk him down to $17.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 08, 2011 02:56 PM (dUKEs)

723 I learned that if I put a quarter in the juke, I can boogie til I puke!

Posted by: boned to the bone at May 08, 2011 03:01 PM (0ba8c)

724 I learned you can go coast to, LA to Chicago.

Posted by: Minuteman at May 08, 2011 03:05 PM (gqqCJ)

725 Don't get drunk the day your mom gets out of prison.
And don't pick her up in the rain.
Because before you get to the station in your pickup truck,
she'll get runned over by a damned old train.

Posted by: D. Allen Coe at May 08, 2011 03:06 PM (yPTcS)

726 I learned she's a man eater and her boyfriend's back and I'm gonna be in trouble.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 03:06 PM (BgUOV)

727 I also learned when a problem comes along, you must whip it.

Posted by: Minuteman at May 08, 2011 03:06 PM (gqqCJ)

728 I learned this is the end, my friend, the end.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 03:08 PM (BgUOV)

729 I learned she came from Planet Claire, when we were at the beach, everybody matching towels!

Posted by: Minuteman at May 08, 2011 03:08 PM (gqqCJ)

730 I learned busting a move is very important.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 03:09 PM (BgUOV)

731 I learned Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea.

Posted by: eman: Japanese Babe Rescue Team at May 08, 2011 03:10 PM (BgUOV)

732 741 I learned that a street peddler will sell you a detachable penis for $23, but you can talk him down to $17.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 08, 2011 06:56 PM (dUKEs)

its not my usual style but i ABSOLUTELY love that song... dont know why. well i do. people who know me well and for a long time might guess. (snicker)

Posted by: Gushka at May 08, 2011 03:10 PM (93zw2)

733 I learned at a young age about the risk STDs from"I'll never fall in love again."

Posted by: Minuteman at May 08, 2011 03:13 PM (gqqCJ)

734 I learned that for me and for you the world is a ghetto, and that your enemy won't do you no harm, 'cause you know where he's coming from.

Posted by: Gasoline Gus at May 08, 2011 03:15 PM (1WKuV)

735 I learned that in status symbol land, that charcoal is burning everywhere and all the houses look the same, and no one seems to care.

Posted by: boned to the bone at May 08, 2011 03:18 PM (0ba8c)

736 [[quote]676 646 I learned that Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman. But was mistaken in that belief. Funny, I made the same mistake with Lola. Posted by: Ray at May 08, 2011 05:43 PM (yPTcS) It's perfectly understandable. Sometimes a dude looks like a lady Have you met Candy, from Miami Florida?

Posted by: Res Judicata at May 08, 2011 03:19 PM (97PfH)

737 I learned that some slowly groovin flattop joker with joo joo eyeballs, knee length hair is a honey badger who do as he please!

Posted by: boned to the bone at May 08, 2011 03:23 PM (0ba8c)

738 I learned who to call if there's something strange in my neighborhood.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 08, 2011 03:25 PM (tJBi7)

739 I learned that, try as hard as you might, you can't touch this.

Posted by: CAC at May 08, 2011 03:29 PM (JEVge)

740 I learned that I don't want anybody else and that when I think about you, I touch myself.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at May 08, 2011 07:33 PM (OWjjx)

Do tell...

Posted by: Barney Frank at May 08, 2011 03:41 PM (yPTcS)

741 Joe Walsh is chock full o' excellent lyrics, course you got the classic I Like Big Tits, but my favor is from Ordinary Guy -

And every Saturday we work in the yard
Pick up the dog do
Hope that it's hard

Posted by: booger at May 08, 2011 03:47 PM (9RFH1)

742 That's supposed to be doo, not do.

Posted by: booger at May 08, 2011 03:48 PM (9RFH1)

743 I learned that when the dogs do find her, I've got time -- time to wait for tomorrow.

Posted by: Damn Dirty RINO at May 08, 2011 04:01 PM (hSwL0)

744 542 I learned what "Eek Op Ork Ah-Ah" means.

Posted by: t-bird at May 08, 2011 05:20 PM (FcR7P)

I take it you're still working on "Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang"?

Posted by: Bill H at May 08, 2011 04:05 PM (q8CmE)

745 I learned the same old song, just to drop a quarter in an embassy.

Posted by: Dustin Nguyen at May 08, 2011 04:08 PM (rrkE9)

746 Posted by: boned to the bone at May 08, 2011 06:28 PM (0ba8c)
I'd like to meet your tailor while eating beef chow mein.

Posted by: Hrothagr at May 08, 2011 04:20 PM (yrGif)

747 I learned that when the spam shows up, the thread is pretty much over.

Posted by: rtw at May 08, 2011 04:21 PM (Spm+1)

748 "Donuts make my brown eyes blue" -Crystal Gale

"There's a baboon on the right" - CCR

Posted by: rls at May 08, 2011 04:41 PM (ITve6)

749 They don't smoke Marijuana in Muskogee

Posted by: Bill at May 08, 2011 04:49 PM (1/MI0)

750 I learned that while we may install appliances and deliver kitchen components for a living, that apparently homosexual gentleman is wealthy.

Posted by: Mike at May 08, 2011 05:22 PM (S30JG)

751 "There's a baboon on the right" - CCR A baboon, huh? For years, I thought it was there's a bathroom on the right. Now, 'cuse me while I kiss this guy.

Posted by: Donna V. at May 08, 2011 05:25 PM (duwIQ)

752 I've learned that it won't be long 'til summer comes, now that the boys are here again.

Posted by: jas at May 08, 2011 05:30 PM (ZM2Bn)

753 Things I've learned:
I should move to Beverly Hills if I want to learn how to travel in the manner of a famous person, specifically, like a round object.

In order to preserve the lineage of equine mammals, women should be encouraged to travel on workers in the cattle industry.

I am to keep my hands away from M.C. Hammer. Fortunately, that is easy.

Posted by: TheLastDJ at May 08, 2011 05:32 PM (ofeYG)

754 I learned that you meet him on a Monday, then he kissed me and it's in his kiss, but since he was just a sweet talkin' guy, it's my party so I'll cry if I want to, and you don't own me any way.

Posted by: Deanna at May 08, 2011 05:38 PM (Vw8Qy)

755 Oh and don't leave a cake out in the rain.

Posted by: Deanna at May 08, 2011 05:39 PM (Vw8Qy)

756

I learned that Tuesday is gone, but the good news is that in 27 hours it'll be back again.

I also found out that counting flowers on the wall doesn't bother me at all, even when I'm smoking cigarettes & watching Captain Kangaroo.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at May 08, 2011 06:11 PM (/MEFr)

757 774 They don't smoke Marijuana in Muskogee

Posted by: Bill at May 08, 2011 08:49 PM (1/MI0)

I'm proud to be an asshole from El Paso.

Posted by: J at May 08, 2011 06:27 PM (auR3B)

758 Posted by: Russ from Winterset at May 08, 2011 10:11 PM (/MEFr)

Ever try playing solitary with a deck of 51?

Posted by: YIKES! at May 08, 2011 06:29 PM (auR3B)

759 I've learned that there is nothing finer than an Irishman who worked an honest day.

Also that there is an avenue in London where you can drink the night away and forget about everything.

Posted by: cthulhu at May 08, 2011 06:51 PM (kaalw)

760

Another thing I've learned? All the kids will hold a grudge, because their minds are logged on to the net. Yeah, that's right, all the kids will hold a grudge: You fail them and they won't forget it.

All your crap won't save you from the kids.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at May 08, 2011 07:02 PM (/MEFr)

761 And when you're drinking with Jesus? It's hard to tell the difference between his heavenly warm touch and urinating in your pants again.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at May 08, 2011 07:03 PM (/MEFr)

762 Elvis, much like The Force, is everywhere. He's in all things, except Michael J. Fox.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at May 08, 2011 07:04 PM (/MEFr)

763 And how did we go 790 deep without someone sharing the fact that all the best cowboys have Chinese eyes?

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at May 08, 2011 07:08 PM (/MEFr)

764 I learned quite a bit about genealogy, seeing as I somehow resulted from an encounter between stuff contained in glassware in the back of a fridge and an incubator. In "The Factory of Birth", so I hear.....

Then, again, everything I know is what I need to know.

Posted by: cthulhu at May 08, 2011 07:30 PM (kaalw)

765 294 I used to think it was You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel...

Posted by: cathy at May 08, 2011 07:30 PM (wKOBo)

766 You can't have something for nothing, including freedom for free. The trees are all kept equal by being cut to the same size, to the detriment of all. We can walk together if we have the same goals; we can run alone if we don't; either way, it's all cool.

Posted by: mgd at May 08, 2011 07:40 PM (Jf8lM)

767 ^{790
Elvis, much like The Force, is everywhere. He's in all things, except Michael J. Fox.}

-------
He is also in Joan Rivers, but he's trying to get out....

Posted by: TheLastDJ at May 08, 2011 08:33 PM (ofeYG)

768 Everybody is so clever and witty. What are you going to do when you realize the hokey pokey IS what it's all about?

Posted by: Tank at May 08, 2011 08:39 PM (Iw0eb)

769 Mama talkin' to me, tryin' ta tell me how ta live, but I don't listen to her 'cause my head is like a sieve.

Posted by: My ear hurts at May 08, 2011 08:52 PM (fV/Cv)

770 You cannot petition the Lord with prayer.

Posted by: cthulhu at May 08, 2011 09:20 PM (kaalw)

771 I still don't know who counts the money underneath the bar.

Posted by: CrankyOldster at May 08, 2011 09:36 PM (o8iIu)

772 " Country Western fans know that the people of Luckenbach, Texas ain't feeling no pain." Neither are the guys around La Grange, Texas. Well, not right away anyway. Wear a condom! Oh, for f*cks sake, tie a knot in it!

Posted by: Case at May 09, 2011 02:08 AM (0K+Kw)

773

OK, it's sad, but I know a bunch of these (an no, I didn't Google any of them):

"JayZ may not have women problems, but he's got way too many others. (At least that's what I got out of the song. I am a deep, deep thinker afterall. My shorts prove that.) "

99 Problems (but a b#tch ain't one)

"A Maserati can go 185 but don't test it or else you will lose your license and be forced to ride in a limo."

I Can't Drive 55

"Little Jack Horner is homeless because he did cocaine. "

I think this one is Peter Piper by Run DMC. Back in my high school days.

"God did in fact make man but he used a monkey (who supplied the glue) to do it. "

This one, I do not know.

"You cannot eat pudding before you eat your meat. That is just preposterous. "

Pretty sure everyone here knows it's Another Brick in the Wall.

"Governor Jerry Brown's aura smiles and never frowns; and his zen fascists will control all of us someday."

No clue.

"Lastly, I learned that Friday comes after Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday."

Many songs, but I think of I've Got a Feeling by The Blackeyed Peas.

Posted by: Crush Liberalism at May 09, 2011 05:19 AM (8NiWI)

774

"A Maserati can go 185 but don't test it or else you will lose your license and be forced to ride in a limo."

OK, a friend corrected me on this one. It was Life's Been Good To Me by Joe Walsh.

Posted by: Crush Liberalism at May 09, 2011 05:49 AM (8NiWI)

775

Â“I DonÂ’t Want To Get Caught Up In Any Of That Funky Shit Going Down In The CityÂ”

Posted by: Old Marine at May 09, 2011 06:29 AM (K5g5u)

776 I learned after all these years that it is spelled A-N-G-I-E, not I-E-N-J. Either way Angie, I still love you baby.

Posted by: Mick Jagger at May 09, 2011 06:55 AM (rrkE9)

777 "God did in fact make man but he used a monkey (who supplied the glue) to do it. "
"Jocko Homo," Devo

"Governor Jerry Brown's aura smiles and never frowns; and his zen fascists will control all of us someday."
"California Uber Alles," Dead Kennedys

"Little Jack Horner is homeless because he did cocaine. "
Run-DMC was close. "White Lines," Gmaster Flash and the Furious Five.

For the Friday song, I thought of "Police on my Back" by the Clash, but I think he means that internet song that everybody hates that I've avoided thusfar.

Posted by: Bender Bending Rodriguez at May 09, 2011 07:46 AM (1H47k)

778 Everything I've learned came from 80's one hit wonders:

I've learned to NEVER turn around when the Kommissar is in town.

I've learned to never EVER step on a crack! Think of your poor mother.

I've learned that having a house is the middle of the street turns out to be nicer than it sounds.

I've learned that it does that two to make everything alright..and outta sight.

I've learned that Amadeas ROCKS!

I've learned Mickey is FINE!

I've learned not to look at her or she will blind you...with SCIENCE!

I've learned that I should relax and don't do it before I come on Eileen. (Twofer!)

Posted by: DewyK at May 09, 2011 12:08 PM (hR3AF)

779 "Little Jack Horner is homeless because he did cocaine. "
Run-DMC was close. "White Lines," Gmaster Flash and the Furious Five.

For the Friday song, I thought of "Police on my Back" by the Clash, but I think he means that internet song that everybody hates that I've avoided thusfar.

Posted by: Bender Bending Rodriguez at May 09, 2011 11:46 AM (1H47k)

We have a weiner.

Posted by: CAC at May 09, 2011 03:31 PM (DoK+0)

780 I learned that a dancer for money will take deuchmarks or dollars or American Express.

Posted by: vivi at May 09, 2011 06:23 PM (fHPjz)

781 Canaries and red created cardinals and be best pals at times

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at May 09, 2011 08:42 PM (vA9ld)

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