Ace of Spades HQ

November 05, 2011

Toughest Art Critic Ever
— CAC

German cleaner/honorary moron took their job too seriously in a museum and ruined a million-dollar work of art in the process.

Footage of the bumbling art killer can be found below.

Props to rdbrewer for the story.

Posted by: CAC at 02:51 PM | Comments (115)
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I liked him in Black Adder.
Mr Bean - not so much.

Posted by: Pecos at November 05, 2011 02:56 PM (2Gb0y)

2 Cleaner to Mona Lisa - wipe that smile off you face.

Posted by: Deli Llama at November 05, 2011 02:57 PM (k20/P)

... and there are even more desecrations corrections to what the artist thought:

"Damien Hirst lost a pile of beer bottles, ashtrays and coffee cups, meant to represent the life of an artist, when a caretaker at the Eyestorm Gallery in London cleared it away."

Sometimes, art is too eclectic for its own good. Oh, the humanity.

Ok, I'm over it

Posted by: Arbalest at November 05, 2011 02:57 PM (fIjWc)

4 An improvement all the way round!

Posted by: Zelda Starr at November 05, 2011 02:59 PM (kOHul)

5 It looks like the crate a real piece of art came in. Like that lamp from A Christmas Story.

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at November 05, 2011 03:00 PM (Ys0KI)

6 I love these acts of accidental art criticism. Full of rich, dark irony.

Posted by: joncelli at November 05, 2011 03:00 PM (+MbqG)

7 After looking at the ruined art I think my garage must be art. Worth at least $900,000. I call it robtr's garage.

Posted by: robtr at November 05, 2011 03:00 PM (MtwBb)

8 Maybe they can do a half-off sale.

Posted by: tommygun at November 05, 2011 03:00 PM (T2ydq)

9 That's not a trucker bomb. That's my opus magnum.

Posted by: Andre Serrano at November 05, 2011 03:01 PM (Ys0KI)

10 When your art is not distinguishable from trash.....

One man's trash is another man's badger urine and tequila hangover of regrets.

Posted by: CeeloBadger at November 05, 2011 03:03 PM (opFg/)

11 I can fix that. No problem. My dad has an awesome set of tools. He's a TV repairman. It'll buff right out. Ja.

Posted by: Herr Spicoli at November 05, 2011 03:03 PM (4q5tP)

12 And nothing of value was lost...

Posted by: The Political Hat at November 05, 2011 03:04 PM (XvHmy)

13 Where are there big juggs?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 03:04 PM (WPGfJ)

14 I have some "art" work in the pasture out back.......

Posted by: TypicalWhitey at November 05, 2011 03:04 PM (xeVap)

15 "are the"

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 03:04 PM (WPGfJ)

16 When the only tool in your toolbox is a hammer, every work of art looks like The Pieta.

Posted by: Laszlo Toth at November 05, 2011 03:06 PM (Ys0KI)

Anyone going to watch the Newt/Herman debate tonight?

I hear Newt killed it in Iowa last night. I watched his speech and it was very very good.

Posted by: TypicalWhitey at November 05, 2011 03:06 PM (xeVap)

18 so the head honcho and the associate honchos are all at AFP? Being wined and dined by A. Breitbart, while watching a weiner?

Posted by: surprised at November 05, 2011 03:06 PM (k1rwm)

19 Pah, just randomly spray it with a few different colored cans of Krylon, it'll be good as new.

Posted by: CanaDave at November 05, 2011 03:07 PM (8xecr)

20 Where are there big juggs?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 07:04 PM (WPGfJ)

If you had snuck in a "them" between are and there it would've been perfect.

Posted by: CAC at November 05, 2011 03:07 PM (l67jU)

21 I still don't understand why Cain and Romney weren't there last night.

Posted by: TypicalWhitey at November 05, 2011 03:07 PM (xeVap)

An overzealous cleaner in Germany has ruined a piece of modern art worth Â£690,000 after mistaking it for an eyesore that needed a good scrub.

No, she was correct.

Posted by: Count de Monet at November 05, 2011 03:08 PM (4q5tP)

23 Spare me. If it looks like trash or a stain then it's not "art". Idiots. Pedantic, sanctimonious, didactic, supercilious idiots.

Posted by: dagny at November 05, 2011 03:08 PM (S+bHJ)

24 Were Cain and Romney invited. Cain can't turn down any invitation like MO can't turn down french fries.

Posted by: surprised at November 05, 2011 03:08 PM (k1rwm)

Doctor Fish

Who do you think will be the winner?

I think it will be Newt.

Posted by: TypicalWhitey at November 05, 2011 03:09 PM (xeVap)

26 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 03:09 PM (fyOgS)

If you had snuck in a "them" between are and there it would've been perfect.

Probably. Although "dem" would have been even better.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 03:10 PM (WPGfJ)

Probably. Although "dem" would have been even better.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 07:10 PM (WPGfJ)

and change there to "thar"

Posted by: CAC at November 05, 2011 03:10 PM (l67jU)

Were Cain and Romney invited. Cain can't turn down any invitation like MO can't turn down french fries.

They were all invited. Romney sent his son.

Posted by: TypicalWhitey at November 05, 2011 03:11 PM (xeVap)

30 I can fix it.

Posted by: Laszlo Toth at November 05, 2011 03:12 PM (Ys0KI)

31 I can't see Cain doing well with an unlimited amount of time. He seems to screw up, like in his interviews.

Posted by: TypicalWhitey at November 05, 2011 03:14 PM (xeVap)

32 Just give me a bottle of windex and fifteen minutes in the Louvre.

Posted by: mghorning at November 05, 2011 03:14 PM (Q4Edg)

33 Plenty of horrendous "art" out there that deserves destruction out there.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at November 05, 2011 03:14 PM (r4wIV)

34 Althouse had a post about this a couple of days ago. She thinks it may be a stunt for publicity. Kind of sounds right to me.

Posted by: Y-not at November 05, 2011 03:15 PM (5H6zj)

35 I think this is the best analysis of modern art. It's even funnier when you know that Martin's a world class art collector.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 05, 2011 03:16 PM (Gk3SS)

36 When a piece of "art" looks like dirt to the hoi polloi; it's not art.

Too much so called art is actually shite. The "artists" who "create" that, aren't.

Posted by: Valar Dohaeris at November 05, 2011 03:19 PM (EntKW)

37 I call this opus "Still Life With Police Car and Poop". Where's my $800,000?

Posted by: Zimri Monophthalmos at November 05, 2011 03:20 PM (U4LNz)

38 "Modern art"= shit(sometimes literally)

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 03:20 PM (fyOgS)

I'm all for art, as long as the Chinese ain't payin for it.

(Just trying my Mittens on)

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 03:22 PM (WPGfJ)

40 I call this opus "Still Life With Police Car and Poop". Where's my $800,000?

I was just thinking that OWS could apply for NEH funding as performance art.

Posted by: Basement Cat at November 05, 2011 03:22 PM (zujW4)

41 Old school Nose Art from WWII.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at November 05, 2011 07:21 PM (Lt/Za)

There is some good Zippo art out there from Vietnam

Posted by: robtr at November 05, 2011 03:23 PM (MtwBb)

42 From another intersection of art and janitorial services
<blockquote>The bag filled with discarded paper and cardboard was part of a work by Gustav Metzger, said to demonstrate the "finite existence" of art.

It was thrown away by a cleaner at the London gallery, which subsequently retrieved the damaged bag.</blockquote>
See, if I was an artist and my work of commentary on the transient nature of artistic expression had been mistakenly tossed in a garbage bin by a maid, I'd laugh and revel in its fitting end. I certainly wouldn't replace or repair its missing components, as such rejuvenation would betray its OH MY GOD I'M TALKING LIKE AN ART STUDENT!

Posted by: JSchuler at November 05, 2011 03:23 PM (SmZQt)

43 So between Junkpile as art and anarchists complaining about communist takeovers at occupyla the toobz have broken my ironymeter. Good thing I don't may by the bwah-ha-ha.

Posted by: DaveA at November 05, 2011 03:24 PM (fTMsl)

44 Where are there big juggs?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 07:04 PM (WPGfJ)

Pam Geller has them.

Posted by: garrett at November 05, 2011 03:25 PM (zjtch)

Rule Number One when it comes to old valuables and art is do not clean it!

Patina is the rule, nuff said.

Posted by: ErikW with the obligatory random Caddyshack reference at November 05, 2011 03:28 PM (ZnMjM)

Pam Geller has them.

As an ass man, if I'm going to bother to care about a giant rack, they better be perky....

I'll pass.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 03:29 PM (WPGfJ)

47 35 Just give me a bottle of windex and fifteen minutes in the Louvre.

Posted by: mghorning at November 05, 2011 07:14 PM (Q4Edg)

Or a hose and a vat of liquid soap in front of the Louvre.

Posted by: dagny at November 05, 2011 03:29 PM (S+bHJ)

48 they recently had a disappointing art auction at Sotheby's and bloomberg was saying because the wealthy bought the art in the last couple of years at "bargain basement prices" and their desire for it is now saturated. Or maybe people just weren't willing to pay the kind of prices they were insisting they should get.

Posted by: surprised at November 05, 2011 03:29 PM (k1rwm)

49 Even on a young woman a giant rack can't be very perky.Damn gravity.

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 03:31 PM (fyOgS)

50 I'd buy a Picasso or a Garfunkel.

Posted by: If I had A Million Dollars at November 05, 2011 03:32 PM (5o3kG)

51 bÃ©gaiement clusterfuck d'un Ã©chec lamentable commet un faux pas idiote

Posted by: joeindc44 at November 05, 2011 03:32 PM (u9B7L)

52 Posted by: surprised at November 05, 2011 07:08 PM (k1rwm)

sniff sniff ... ammonia ?

Posted by: not clicking just to be safe at November 05, 2011 03:33 PM (RL7U1)

53 It ain't art unless the eyes follow you around the room.

Posted by: nickless at November 05, 2011 03:33 PM (MMC8r)

54 I'm going to apply for a grant to study "Giant titties in micro gravity."

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 03:33 PM (fyOgS)

55 What's all this about Pam Geller's spatchcocks having a patina?

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 05, 2011 03:33 PM (5o3kG)

56 This looks like a job for the Great White Tornado!

Posted by: Mr Clean at November 05, 2011 03:34 PM (m8ARs)

57 Kitteh art: http://tinyurl.com/6fs8q2a

Posted by: Basement Cat at November 05, 2011 03:35 PM (zujW4)

58 >>bÃ©gaiement clusterfuck d'un Ã©chec lamentable commet un faux pas idiote

_{The LSU fans are restless I see}

Posted by: ontherocks at November 05, 2011 03:35 PM (HBqDo)

59 She tried to polish a turd.

As ever, still a 100% failure rate in the endeavor.

Posted by: logprof at November 05, 2011 03:36 PM (QaKuj)

60 Oh great, the Gotham Princess is back.

Posted by: Zimri Monophthalmos at November 05, 2011 03:37 PM (U4LNz)

61 I liked him in Black Adder.
Mr Bean - not so much.

The episode where Mr Bean is in the receiving line for the Queen may be the funniest thing I've ever seen on tv.

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at November 05, 2011 03:37 PM (HtUdo)

62 I'd buy a Picasso or a Garfunkel.

Posted by: If I had A Million Dollars at November 05, 2011 07:32 PM (5o3kG)

That was actually my buddy's wedding song.

Posted by: ErikW at November 05, 2011 03:37 PM (ZnMjM)

63 69 Yes!The shirt tail.

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 03:38 PM (fyOgS)

64 **>>bÃ©gaiement clusterfuck d'un Ã©chec lamentable commet un faux pas idiote The LSU fans are restless I see** haha, no...I refer to our divine godhead who insulted Sarkozy's looks.

Posted by: joeindc44 at November 05, 2011 03:38 PM (u9B7L)

65 Some insurance company will have to pay the bill and all our rates will go up, as the insurance exec will still need his bonus.

Posted by: Herman Cain at November 05, 2011 03:39 PM (O+loN)

66 This would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

link to Part 1

link to Part 2

Posted by: surprised at November 05, 2011 03:40 PM (k1rwm)

67 35 Just give me a bottle of windex and fifteen minutes in the Louvre.

Posted by: mghorning at November 05, 2011 07:14 PM (Q4Edg)

--Forget the Louvre, the Centre Papendreu is the place to hit. The building itself is cool, but aside from one artist (WWI era, from Belgium, name escapes me) who did some pretty good sketches and primitive-inspired art, the "works" there are total shit.

Posted by: logprof at November 05, 2011 03:40 PM (QaKuj)

68 I'd buy a Picasso or a Garfunkel.

How about a Linkletter?

Posted by: Basement Cat at November 05, 2011 03:42 PM (zujW4)

69 "62 What's all this about Pam Geller's spatchcocks having a patina?"

Are you gay?

Posted by: Herman Cain at November 05, 2011 03:42 PM (O+loN)

70 For tonight's Lincoln/Douglas style debate, Politico will be playing the part of John Wilkes Booth...

cnredd
Political Wrinkles

Posted by: cnredd at November 05, 2011 03:42 PM (XdXvF)

71 Fight in the Jets game!

Posted by: logprof at November 05, 2011 03:43 PM (QaKuj)

72 Well folks, time to grab your nachos and beer.

Posted by: joncelli at November 05, 2011 03:46 PM (+MbqG)

73 Yeah well, if half these turds ended up in a shitpile where they should have been instead of being labeled "art", maybe they wouldn't be mistaken as garbage in the first place.

Posted by: Berserker at November 05, 2011 03:46 PM (FMbng)

74 Carla Bruni at 9 months pregnant still way hotter and skinnier than Moochelle.

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 03:47 PM (fyOgS)

75 Any pipefitters here?Gabe doesn't even come around on Weekends.

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 03:48 PM (fyOgS)

Alert! Calling all moronettes forward with fixed bayonets. Ladies, it's imperative, we must not lose the blog. Tora Tora Tora!

I will help!

Posted by: TypicalWhitey at November 05, 2011 03:48 PM (xeVap)

77 what Huntsman said

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at November 05, 2011 03:49 PM (m8ARs)

78 84 Carla Bruni at 9 months pregnant still way hotter and skinnier than Moochelle.

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 07:47 PM (fyOgS)

--Pics or it didn't happen.

Posted by: logprof at November 05, 2011 03:52 PM (QaKuj)

79 Newt/Cain debate about to start

LIVE STREAM

Posted by: Jose at November 05, 2011 03:54 PM (oMY/5)

80 87 what Huntsman said

I'm surprised the Chinese don't have a character for "clusterfuck".

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 05, 2011 03:55 PM (5o3kG)

81 Get thee to the football thread!

LSU-'Bama almost ready!

Posted by: logprof at November 05, 2011 03:55 PM (QaKuj)

82 Carla Bruni at 9 months pregnant still way hotter and skinnier than Moochelle.

Posted by: steevy at November 05, 2011 07:47 PM (fyOgS)

You spend way too much fucking time here.

And so do I.

Also, I like The Judds.

Posted by: ErikW at November 05, 2011 03:56 PM (ZnMjM)

LSU-'Bama almost ready!

Backs/Cocks til it starts.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at November 05, 2011 03:56 PM (WPGfJ)

84 I'm surprised the Chinese don't have a character for "clusterfuck".

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 05, 2011 07:55 PM (5o3kG)

They probably do, but Uncle Ho banned it because it was written on his giant posters so many times.

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at November 05, 2011 03:57 PM (m8ARs)

85 Too much spatchcocking been going on . . .

Posted by: That Chicken at November 05, 2011 03:57 PM (QaKuj)

86 America's culture took another step toward Idiocracy; there was just an ad for Sheets energy sheets. "I took a sheet in the pool!" Yuck yuck yuck. OW MY BALLS

Posted by: Zimri Monophthalmos at November 05, 2011 03:59 PM (lo4Dz)

87 You can make anything into modern art. All that is required is some fancy BS explanation of the purpose.

Posted by: Miss Marple at November 05, 2011 04:00 PM (GoIUi)

88 There was a fellow being interviewed on NPR last year about this translucent cube he'd made that contained a small processor and a USB port. He put it up for sale on eBay and whoever won it was supposed to hook it up to their computer where it would connect to the web & create another auction of itself on eBay.

The 'artist' got (gets) a percentage of whatever it sold for each time. I think the first time it sold it was around $2,000.

Can't find a link for it for the story, though.

Posted by: Baroque at November 05, 2011 04:01 PM (B0LGd)

89 This is the best testament to what "modern" art really is. Ever.

Posted by: kdny not a Mittwit at November 05, 2011 04:02 PM (SrCor)

90 Ah! Found a link. Here you go:
Artwork selling itself on eBay

Posted by: Baroque at November 05, 2011 04:06 PM (B0LGd)

91 101 Ah! Found a link. Here you go:
Artwork selling itself on eBay

Posted by: Baroque at November 05, 2011 08:06 PM (B0LGd)

--Fuck that weak Ponzi-scheme-as-art shit.

Posted by: logprof at November 05, 2011 04:08 PM (QaKuj)

92 Ha! It's on eBay right now for $7500.00 and zero bids.

Just search for A Tool to Deceive and Slaughter.

Posted by: Baroque at November 05, 2011 04:09 PM (B0LGd)

93 Posted by: logprof at November 05, 2011 08:08 PM (QaKuj)

Heh, agreed. I can't believe it's up to almost 8k not including shipping.

Posted by: Baroque at November 05, 2011 04:10 PM (B0LGd)

94 We need a thread on modern thread.
_{.....with water and stain resistant nano comments}

Posted by: ontherocks at November 05, 2011 04:12 PM (HBqDo)

95
You need to read the "artist's justification and explanation of this little scam. It appears in the comments section of the linked article.

Posted by: irongrampa at November 05, 2011 04:19 PM (SAMxH)

96 It is a scam and, I must admit, an inventive, high-tech one. It's slightly more honest than a Nigerian (419) scam.

Posted by: Baroque at November 05, 2011 04:42 PM (B0LGd)

97 I love what you guys are frequently up too. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the terrific works guys IÂ’ve added you guys to my blogroll.

Posted by: The Prague Cemetery ePub at November 05, 2011 04:44 PM (ra2/h)

98 That is useful information and its quite easy to come a croper if you are not vigilant.

Posted by: The Alloy of Law iBooks at November 05, 2011 04:52 PM (yfoPD)

there was once a time when an artist was someone who had the talent and ability to create a work that was worth describing as art, someone who was a master of his field. To some extent, Schoenberg and James Joyce saved modern classical music and the novel. In the old days, some of the best critics were pretty good as creators (Berlioz and Schumann come to mind.)

And now? Any idiot with a box of crayons and a pad of paper can get away with calling himself an artist, an illiterate who can rhyme is a poet, and an idiot with a degree in God-knows-what who doesn't know the difference between Schoenberg, Sternberg and Bloomberg gets to be a "critic".

I think the defining moment when I knew that Western Civ was doomed was when Time (or Newsweek, forget which) included in its milestones of the week the fact that Hulk Hogan had regained his WWF world championship.

and now we're stuck with this stuttering sprocketclock of a minestrone failure in the WH...

Posted by: mallfly at November 05, 2011 04:52 PM (W6bJb)

100 and I agree with whoever said that Black Adder was funnier than Mr Bean. There was the Blackadder 3rd episode in which he accidently burns the only copy of Dr Johnson's Dictionary.

Posted by: mallfly at November 05, 2011 04:55 PM (W6bJb)

101 If I can't tell whether it's art or trash... it ain't art.

She cleaned a million dollar piece of trash. I'm not sure who paid for or insured their garbage; but I'm not thinking future generations will mourn the loss of a pile of garbage.

Posted by: gekkobear at November 05, 2011 05:01 PM (HuU51)

102 Wow this is soo helpful I have been trying to figure this out on my own for a long time now. Hopefully making this change will help encourage discussion on my blog.

Posted by: How to Speak Money Audiobook at November 05, 2011 05:03 PM (yfoPD)

103 ooh, I like that thing on ebay. I have a laptop that every two minutes shows a video of Hitler getting whacked on the head by Daffy Duck. (It's on YouTube, look it up.) Maybe I'll add a Wagner soundtrack and paste some blutwurst to the powercord and offer it for $50k.

Posted by: mallfly at November 05, 2011 05:04 PM (W6bJb)

104 This wouldn't have happened to a Rembrandt. Just sayin'.

Posted by: everyone's a critic at November 05, 2011 06:01 PM (TJ3A6)

105 As with many things, the best commentary on art criticism comes from History Of The World Part I. http://tinyurl.com/3ccmq9b And it was Baldrick that burned the only copy of Dr. Johnson's dictionary......along with the only copy of Blackadder's seven-year-in-the-making novel (which Dr. Johnson tried to pass off as his own).

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 05, 2011 06:07 PM (9Lm5R)

106 This web site is my breathing in, really fantastic pattern and perfect subject matter.

Posted by: The Ecstasy of Influence ePub at November 05, 2011 06:48 PM (sZQpF)

107 Yep! I was agreed, I'll keep in touch to your blog.

Posted by: Diary of a Player ePub at November 05, 2011 07:07 PM (iLDMm)

108 Blackadder's third season was to me the only season. The "rotten boroughs" episode was a scream. (Of course there is absolutely no connexion with districts like Sheila Jackson Lee's.)

Posted by: Zimriel at November 05, 2011 08:31 PM (6GvAC)

109

OK, let me know if I have this right. I'm an engineer and in my head, things are usually rational or can be improved.

You just throw some stuff together, give it a name and declare it art. Anyone who doesn't like it is "judgemental" and should be scorned.

Posted by: Max Entropy at November 05, 2011 08:54 PM (NwTXA)

110 This info is a terrific read. Thanks for the info.I am looking forward for more updates
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Posted by: doumaduo at November 06, 2011 01:38 AM (RoIum)

111 Seems telling, that your typical person would mistake it for trash....

Posted by: SentWest at November 06, 2011 09:35 AM (pn3j4)

112

When It Starts Dripping From The Ceiling, consists of a trough under a wooden tower of slats.

That's considered "art"??? It should have been tossed in the fucking dumpster.

Posted by: SFC MAC at November 06, 2011 12:21 PM (h1hkE)

113 In 2004, a cleaner threw away part of a work by another German artist, Gustav Metzger, after mistaking it for rubbish. The cleaner failed to realise that a plastic bag containing discarded paper and cardboard was an integral part of Recreation of First Public Demonstration of Auto-Destructive Art, and not just some litter. The bag was later recovered, but it was too damaged to display, so Metzger replaced it with another bag. This made me laugh so hard....imagine the fools digging through the trash...." is this it?" " No, you twit, that is just a bag of trash.". "This whole dump is full of Art!!". And the last line .. .. How do you damage garbage?

Posted by: Big Harry Johnson at November 06, 2011 03:19 PM (fuzot)

114

www.genset-china.com

Posted by: christine at November 07, 2011 10:34 PM (ow0gJ)

115 www.parts-machining.com

Posted by: bsdbsn at November 07, 2011 10:51 PM (ow0gJ)

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