September 12, 2011

Turns Out, Obama Is Sort of Mock-Worthy
— Ace

I don't watch any of the late-night talk show hosts, so I didn't know that they actually are making fun of Obama (or rather, his SCOAMF on the economy/jobs front). Even bitter old lefty Letterman.

Leno has a good one:

Leno: The NFL season kicks off Thursday night right here on NBC. We are all very excited. The game will be on right after the season finale of President Obama.

Some of these jokes aren't even funny. Which is a good sign that Obama's in trouble. Joblessness is so prominent in the public consciousness that they have to mention it, even when they don't have a good joke about it. The jokes are made because they're obligatory, not chosen because they're riotously funny.

Like this Leno line:

Leno: Government statistics show the U.S. economy created zero jobs in August. President Obama now says he's confident this month he can double that.

Not a good joke. But he felt he had to address the top political story, whether he had a good joke about it or not.

Leno: President Obama's jobs speech was tonight: A guy whose job nobody approves of giving a speech about jobs that don't exist to people who don't have any jobs.

Fallon: President Obama's $447-billion spending plan is called the American Jobs Act. It would have had a cooler name, but the name guy was laid off six months ago.

Same thing.

Leno: President Obama named his new $447-billion legislation the American Jobs Act. Better than the original name, the Save My Ass Act.

This isn't even a joke, really. This is just what everyone's thinking. This is less a "joke" and more of a straightforward if cynical analysis of the actual political positioning going on here. He gives it a joke format, but this is really no different than what Charles Krauthammer said about it the same day. It just has a joke-like rhythm and joke-like casual glibness.

These are almost all "clappers" -- "jokes" whose main appeal is not funniness, but simply the pithy expression of what the audience thinks. Such jokes don't get laughs; they get claps of approval. Not chuckles, but nods of assent.

It's one thing if a comic dares to make a truly funny joke at Obama's expense. But offering a series of clappers about him isn't about comedy, it's about genuine frustration, disappointment, and disapproval.


Posted by: Ace at 11:02 AM | Comments (300)
Post contains 410 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:03 AM (8y9MW)

2
* golf claps *

Posted by: EC at September 12, 2011 11:03 AM (GQ8sn)

3 Is this a challenge to make better jokes?

Posted by: fb at September 12, 2011 11:04 AM (JVEmw)

4 Leno clearly was not watching SNL at age ten.

Posted by: fluffy at September 12, 2011 11:05 AM (nxTmu)

5 Leno is easily the most conservative of the "big 3" night show types (him, letterman, conan).  He's actually been cracking jokes at the expense of SCOAMFOTUS for several months (if not a year or more) now.

That said: someone needs to get Leno's old writers back- the new ones suck.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:05 AM (8y9MW)

6 Paging President Obama.  Please pick up the black and white phone in the lobby; you have a message from a Mr. Cee Lo Green.

Posted by: dogfish at September 12, 2011 11:05 AM (N2yhW)

7 Those "jokes" are why I don't watch late-night talk shows.

Well, that and all the Internet pr0n.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 12, 2011 11:06 AM (3p99J)

8 7 Waterhouse,


amen to that....late night fridays are often funnier here....


Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:07 AM (AEIYh)

9 Leno: Government statistics show the U.S. economy created zero jobs in August. President Obama now says he's confident this month he can double that. Not a good joke. But he felt he had to address the top political story, whether he had a good joke about it or not. -Ace This is funny!!

Posted by: Joejm65 at September 12, 2011 11:08 AM (tpK0A)

10

Bobby Jindal is endorsing Perry. Pawlenty endorses Romney. I endorse Perry but would vote for Romney or anyone over Obama.

Obama is a joke. He knows it. Guess he will continue to speechify anyway.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at September 12, 2011 11:08 AM (baL2B)

11 Obama -only- lost the country 500 jobs today. He heralded this as a sign of progress.

Posted by: Jay Leno at September 12, 2011 11:08 AM (usXZy)

12

Paging President Obama.  Please pick up the black and white phone in the lobby; you have a message from a Mr. Cee Lo Green.

 

This one?

Posted by: fluffy at September 12, 2011 11:09 AM (nxTmu)

13 It probably sounds like I'm being contrarian just for it's sake but I didn't think those jokes were bad.

Posted by: polynikes Texan for Romney at September 12, 2011 11:09 AM (PCEZn)

14 That is encouraging. I stopped watching a few years back when that Bush jokes just got so incredibly vicious. And especially the Cheney jokes. They weren't really even jokes, just "Hey, Cheney is an evil vampiric piece of dirt, am I right?", "Cheney vows to lose weight, announces he will cut back to eating just two living souls at dinner, and only a single dead baby soul for lunch."

Posted by: Clubber Lang at September 12, 2011 11:09 AM (QcFbt)

15 5 AllenG,

well I'd say fiscal moderate, social libertarian but yeah definitely....

he was rather guarded early on because he knew that Barry's backers would go nuts on him....

that he is no longer afraid tells me he and his handlers have been leaked the real democratic polling data and he now knows it's "safe"......

better than the "passion index" because his risk/reward evaluation cannot be gamed like a poll can.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:09 AM (AEIYh)

16 But it's a sign the base is wandering away.
Just like Carter.
Everybody liked him, but when time comes to vote - well, I have to shampoo my hair.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at September 12, 2011 11:09 AM (p+mzQ)

17 So Obama's EPA regulations cost us another 500 jobs today. He announced a $50 billion plan to get 10 of them back to work.

Posted by: Jay Leno at September 12, 2011 11:10 AM (usXZy)

18 When you've lost the late-night talkers......

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:10 AM (UOM48)

19

It's one thing if a comic dares to make a truly funny joke at Obama's expense. But offering a series of clappers about him isn't about comedy, it's about genuine frustration, disappointment, and disapproval.

 

Hey, idiots in the MFM:

CLAP ON, CLAP OFF!!ELEVENTY!!!

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 11:10 AM (0fUOB)

20 I am still waiting for Leno to call him a SCoaMF.  When that happens I'll know he is done for.

Posted by: Marie at September 12, 2011 11:11 AM (H50jQ)

21 Has Wanda Sykes started making jokes about our half-white President yet?

Posted by: gebrauchshund at September 12, 2011 11:11 AM (iYwUw)

22 If Johnny Carson were still around, he'd be ripping a hole into Obama.

Posted by: EC at September 12, 2011 11:11 AM (GQ8sn)

23 President Obama needs to come back on The View.  We'll all have our presidential knee pads and everything!  He's dreamy!!

Posted by: The scrunts on The View at September 12, 2011 11:11 AM (UOM48)

24

When it comes to the SCoaMF:

"But offering a series of clappers about him isn't about comedy, it's about genuine frustration, disappointment, and disapproval."

And that's a good thing.

Posted by: Martha Stewart at September 12, 2011 11:11 AM (VxqUc)

25

That is encouraging. I stopped watching a few years back when that Bush jokes just got so incredibly vicious. And especially the Cheney jokes. They weren't really even jokes, just "Hey, Cheney is an evil vampiric piece of dirt, am I right?", "Cheney vows to lose weight, announces he will cut back to eating just two living souls at dinner, and only a single dead baby soul for lunch."

 

A lot of the Cheney/Bush "jokes" wished their permament demise.  I didn't find that funny.  Still don't.

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 11:11 AM (0fUOB)

26 it has been easier to watch late night tv lately.

Posted by: trailortrash at September 12, 2011 11:12 AM (xllDV)

27 Posted by: polynikes

I don't think they were "bad," I just don't think they were good.  Anyone (well, most people) can tell a joke that isn't bad- especially if a professional joke writer wrote it.  Telling a good joke, on the other hand, is quite hard.

I agree with Ace's point- these aren't even jokes designed to get laughs- they're statements to acknowledge how far out of favor Barack Obama, who is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure, has fallen.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:12 AM (8y9MW)

28

Stupid President Tricks

Posted by: Ben at September 12, 2011 11:12 AM (wuv1c)

29 21 Marie,
and we all have to work to get it viral so the chance is there....

the first time a late night talker uses SCoaMF I am buying you all a virtual Sam Adams

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:12 AM (AEIYh)

30
I'd like to see the rump-swab media try to pull that funemployment crap again.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 12, 2011 11:13 AM (sqkOB)

31 If Johnny Carson were still around, he'd be ripping a hole into Obama.

That's absolutely true.  I miss Carson.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:13 AM (8y9MW)

32 Now, how can I show confidence in that Congress will pass my jerbs bill?

I know, I'll go to Australia in November!

Posted by: Pres. Obaka at September 12, 2011 11:14 AM (s1vtf)

33 I may actually watch The View when Cheney's on just to see him bitch-slap the whole table with his War Cock.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:14 AM (UOM48)

34 When Maher finally tells one of these, the bill will be passed.

Posted by: Roy at September 12, 2011 11:14 AM (bm4vI)

35 Damn, if only Obama could craft a speech using words, or grunts really, that could penetrate mi brainmind, to let me understand the genius behind his actions. You know, maybe he needs to have a primetime speech, and Charlie Gibson could ask him rocksolid hard questions like "You're obviously working harder than any president has on issues harder than any other president has faced and yet your opponents constantly stop you. Can I fellatiate you?"

Posted by: joeindc44 at September 12, 2011 11:14 AM (QxSug)

36 >>>It probably sounds like I'm being contrarian just for it's sake but I didn't think those jokes were bad. I wouldn't say they were bad. I'd say they were easy, obvious, and uninspired. My point is that these jokes were not selected due to their inherent comedy value. They were selected because the topic itself must be addressed, and then, having decided you need at least 1-2 Obama/jobs/SCOAMF jokes, you pick the best from a weak lot.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:14 AM (nj1bB)

37 About time comics found the cojones to ridicule Obama. Obama has enjoyed a ridicule free late night since 2007.

Posted by: oldsalt at September 12, 2011 11:14 AM (f3GW1)

38 Uh... Ace, for Leno these jokes actually are the funny ones. Man, you really don't watch late night tv any more.

Posted by: William at September 12, 2011 11:15 AM (dE2JB)

39 All Democrats are Clappers.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at September 12, 2011 11:15 AM (71LDo)

40 I'd like to see the rump-swab media try to pull that funemployment crap again.

They don't know it, but that's where they started his downfall.  By trying to play down how bad unemployment was, they showed themselves indifferent to human suffering.  Why would people seek the opinions of organizations they knew were indifferent to human suffering?

So every puff piece the print is now just a waste of paper.  Well, except for being used to line bird-cages or wrap fish. (Mmmm... salmon...)

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:15 AM (8y9MW)

41 People are realizing that SCOAMF's stuttering and clusterfucking is bad for the country. And they did it without jokey jokes by Tina Fey or Jon Stewart, and now they cannot hide it because the preference cascade is cascading.

Posted by: joeindc44 at September 12, 2011 11:16 AM (QxSug)

42 Obama, today, announced a $447 billion dollar stimulus bill to get his previous $800 billion stimulus bill a job.

Posted by: Jay Leno at September 12, 2011 11:16 AM (usXZy)

43 If Johnny Carson were still around, he'd be ripping a hole into Obama.

Johnny: The president is such a stuttering cluster of a miserable failure ...
Audience: How much of a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure is he?
Ed: (laughs)
Freddie: We'll need to bleep that.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at September 12, 2011 11:16 AM (bjRNS)

44
Isn't it nice to have Jay Leno back at the Tonight Show?
I don't watch the show. And I don't dislike Conan O'Brien.

But Jay belongs in that chair.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 12, 2011 11:16 AM (sqkOB)

45

About time comics found the cojones to ridicule Obama. Obama has enjoyed a ridicule free late night since 2007.

 

remember we were told that there was nothing funny about obama?  we were told that he is too smart, too handsome, too perfect and unflawed by our betters in the MFM.

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 11:16 AM (0fUOB)

46 I can't believe none of the late-night writers have gone after the "Summer of Obama."  That's a comedy goldmine right there.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:16 AM (UOM48)

47 Maybe they were a bit of a warm up. When you've been carrying a guys water for years and your audience is in the tank for him you gotta take a few baby steps. I expect the tenor of jokes to amp up as Obama's approval rating amps down.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 12, 2011 11:17 AM (TMB3S)

48 More than just being a punchline he knows he's about to be tossed out on his bony ass next fall.

What other explanation could there be for this?

Why another vaca of course. Gimme an effing break w/this crap already.

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 11:17 AM (pLTLS)

49 Obama has led to a revival in gallows humor. I'm glad to see it make its way off the AoS pages and onto TV. So is Andrew Breitbart.

Posted by: t-bird at September 12, 2011 11:17 AM (FcR7P)

50 Bobby Jindal is endorsing Perry. Pawlenty endorses Romney. I endorse Perry but would vote for Romney or anyone over Obama.

I would vote for a turkey sandwich over King Putt.  (Turkey instead of ham to avoid Muslim backlash).

Posted by: dfbaskwill at September 12, 2011 11:17 AM (71LDo)

51 Ahhh, shit. Don't stroke out. That'll take you to Politico.

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 11:17 AM (pLTLS)

52 Better "Shecky" Obama jokes:

- Take my Lybian war.  Please.

- I told my chief of staff I wanted to go someplace I'd never been before - he said try the Constitution.

- No, but seriously, my wife's ass is so big she has to wash it Niagra Falls.

Posted by: Blacksheep at September 12, 2011 11:17 AM (8/DeP)

53 On this line... Has Conan started making fun of Barky, yet?  The last time I watched (caught the monologue while I was on vacation) he was still bashing bush and Cheney.  Yes, it was a current episode.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:17 AM (8y9MW)

54

Bellwethers.  Preference cascade.  Tipping point.

I guess I could add some verbs and make sentences, even paragraphs out of those five words, but I'm too laz

Posted by: Lance McCormick at September 12, 2011 11:18 AM (zgHLA)

55 Craig Fergson had a good line last week, I only heard it in passing. "The virus in the movie “Contagion” is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I’m talking about President Obama."

Posted by: yankeefifth at September 12, 2011 11:18 AM (loM0R)

56 I'm saying they're just sort of wise-cracks. I end a lot of posts with wise-cracks. Not because the wise-crack is so funny, but just because I figure, "Eh, I need a joke to end this dumb post.' Compare to, say, Cheney shooting his friend in the face. This is a subject bursting with pure comedy. You can get a lot of seriously funny jokes out of that. Where do you start? Guy shot someone in the FACE!!! In this case, the subject itself doesn't really lend itself to humor. Economic misery? Not an inhernetly funny topic. You get bitter, gallows-humor jokes like Letterman's crack, "Today is take your daughter to the Unemployment Office day." That joke is fairly good, but more on the dark, bitter level than the ha-ha level. They're covering this not because of the first function of a comic (be funny) but the second function (act as a frustration-release-valve for the audience).

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:18 AM (nj1bB)

57 but we'll know the tide has really turned when they stop slandering the tea party.

Posted by: joeindc44 at September 12, 2011 11:18 AM (QxSug)

58

Humor needs two things to be funny, an element of truth and an element of surprise.

The Bush /Cheney jokes never had either one, they were always based on blatant lies, and you always knew what the punchline was going to be halfway into the setup. Same with the Sarah Palin jokes.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at September 12, 2011 11:18 AM (iYwUw)

59
I forgot who said it but some comedian was asked why Obama wasn't the butt of jokes.

The comic said, "It's hard to make fun of hope."

true story

Posted by: soothsayer at September 12, 2011 11:19 AM (sqkOB)

60 From CNN: Jindal to endorse Perry.

Posted by: Joffen at September 12, 2011 11:19 AM (EPcuy)

61 49 Jane D'oh,

you could superimpose Barry's head on various pratfalls....


"no no folks really we should just bask in him...he's HELPING!"

*cue pie in the face*

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:19 AM (AEIYh)

62 well I'd say fiscal moderate, social libertarian but yeah definitely....

he was rather guarded early on because he knew that Barry's backers would go nuts on him....

His "Jay Leno's Garage" clips are refreshingly apolitical, and he actually gets his hands dirty with the cars.  No sermons about carbon footprints when he's shredding the tires on a Porsche or Lambo, and he scolded an engineer from Bugatti for designing a car that only the dealer can service.

And his interview with Dick Cheney was probably the most interesting of any of the ones I've heard.  His audience loved the War Cock.

Posted by: Ian S. at September 12, 2011 11:19 AM (tqwMN)

63 Knock, knock.
  Who's there?
Obama sucks.

*applause*

Posted by: sandy burger at September 12, 2011 11:20 AM (5OEha)

64 I'll bet both Cheney and the guy he shot have both told "shot in the face jokes".  It's what separates Man from the animals (or Dems!).

Posted by: dfbaskwill at September 12, 2011 11:20 AM (71LDo)

65 59 Ace,

well there is the seedcorn of some carlinesque humor....

people BOUGHT the pig in a poke.....

and what they got was a democRAT

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:20 AM (AEIYh)

66 Posted by: polynikes Texan for Romney at September 12, 2011 03:09 PM (PCEZn)

Pathetic -- you even like RINO jokes!


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative)) at September 12, 2011 11:21 AM (LH6ir)

67 Leno: Government statistics show the U.S. economy created zero jobs in August. President Obama now says he's confident this month he can double that.

Not a good joke. But he felt he had to address the top political story, whether he had a good joke about it or not. -Ace

This is funny!! Posted by: Joejm65

Scoamf McJugears' fans won't get the math. 2 x 0 = 0 and will think well that's not funny, he can double the number of jobs. That's a good thing.

Posted by: kansas at September 12, 2011 11:21 AM (mka2b)

68 All Democrats are Clappers.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at September 12, 2011 03:15 PM (71LDo)

VD is nothing to clap about.

Posted by: The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention at September 12, 2011 11:21 AM (tQHzJ)

69 "Today is take your daughter to the Unemployment Office day." That joke is fairly good, but more on the dark, bitter level than the ha-ha level. That one's funny too.

Posted by: Joejm65 at September 12, 2011 11:21 AM (tpK0A)

70 Joke: Americans can't get jobs, but Obama is working hard on fixing the situation.

Posted by: Mjim at September 12, 2011 11:22 AM (rN9Na)

71

remember we were told that there was nothing funny about obama?  we were told that he is too smart, too handsome, too perfect and unflawed by our betters in the MFM.

Even his barn-door ears are unfunny.

Posted by: fluffy at September 12, 2011 11:22 AM (nxTmu)

72
that reminds me...
we need to make an Obama Gag Reel -- clips of all the times made inappropriate jokes

For instance: ""Shovel-ready was not as ... uh .. shovel-ready as we expected."

/hahahahaha!

Posted by: soothsayer at September 12, 2011 11:22 AM (sqkOB)

73 Yeah and T-Paws endorsement of Romeny wasn't out of confidence.

Of course how could it be -- he coined Obamneycare.

Anyway, it's (maybe) all about the money, honey.

(yeah that link will take you to Politico as well).

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 11:22 AM (pLTLS)

74 #22 Wanda Sykes made a great joke about Obama previously. Kind of. It was during the Tiger affair breaking and a bad week for Obama. Sykes said it was a bad week for half black guys. She hoped Lenny Kravitz wasn't releasing an album this week.

Posted by: polynikes Texan for Romney at September 12, 2011 11:22 AM (PCEZn)

75 Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Obama.

Standing Ovation.

Posted by: kansas at September 12, 2011 11:22 AM (mka2b)

76 President Obama named his new $447-billion legislation the American Jobs Act. Better than the original name, the Save My Ass Act.

Leno has a delivery that can make that funny.

Posted by: toby928™ at September 12, 2011 11:22 AM (GTbGH)

77 56 conan has been in the van of obama jokes.

Posted by: yankeefifth at September 12, 2011 11:23 AM (loM0R)

78
or maybe it was, "there's nothing funny about hope."

Posted by: soothsayer at September 12, 2011 11:23 AM (sqkOB)

79

OT

I've been reading online that people have been reading Michelle Bachmann and Mitt Romney's books and found that both of them refered to social security as a fraud and that romney said the people in charge of it were criminals.

Tonight should be interesting.

Posted by: Ben at September 12, 2011 11:23 AM (wuv1c)

80

Comics are like the financial markets - leading indicators.

Looks like the comics are already pricing in the 2012 election.

Posted by: Roy at September 12, 2011 11:23 AM (VndSC)

81 OT: OMFG My local radio guy who was anti-perry because he thought his praying was creepy just interviewed him, sounds like he's seeing the light

Posted by: AuthorLMendez (Romneybot, The New Stupid) at September 12, 2011 11:23 AM (yAor6)

82 So Obama managed to create some jobs today. Too bad they were in China, replacing jobs from Chicago.

Posted by: Jay Leno at September 12, 2011 11:23 AM (usXZy)

83 77 soothsayer,

you know add in a running tally of the national debt stopping during the gag and adding the amount per interval...


*ka-ching!*

add another 100 bill to the fire

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:24 AM (AEIYh)

84

This one?

Posted by: fluffy at September 12, 2011 03:09 PM (nxTmu)


I believe Mr. Green has a couple that are fitting.

Posted by: dogfish at September 12, 2011 11:24 AM (N2yhW)

85 I just flew in from Cleveland, and boy is Obama a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: . at September 12, 2011 11:24 AM (gQLr2)

86

remember we were told that there was nothing funny about obama? 

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 03:16 PM (0fUOB)

There isn't anything even remotely funny about him.

Cringe-worthy? Absolutely.

Deserving of mockery? Oh, yes.

Vomit inducing? Unfortunately!

But he has done too much to our wonderful country for me to laugh.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative)) at September 12, 2011 11:24 AM (LH6ir)

87 A decent late-night comic could have had a couple of good jokes about Obama figuring our the umbrella/gate problem.

Or the fly on the lip.

Or the rat running in front of the podium in the Rose Garden.

Or the presidential seal falling off the podium, and the limo

If he were a republican, that is.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:24 AM (UOM48)

88 Posted by: kansas

Heh. So simple. So true. And so clean! I can even teach my little niece and nephews that and they can share at school - heh.

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 11:24 AM (pLTLS)

89 There is a great, untapped mother-in-law joke market out there too.

Posted by: Breaker19 at September 12, 2011 11:25 AM (WCm02)

90 Posted by: . at September 12, 2011 03:24 PM (gQLr2)

Okay, I did chuckle at this one.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative)) at September 12, 2011 11:25 AM (LH6ir)

91 Last week, Obama gave a $500 million loan to a company promising to create 1200 green jobs. Today, 1200 lawyers are overseeing its bankruptcy case.

Posted by: Jay Leno at September 12, 2011 11:26 AM (usXZy)

92

A priest, a rabbi and President Obama go into a bar. Obama tells the clergymen, "Grab some seats, but give me fifty dollars first. I'll put it with fifty of my own and tell the bartender to run a tab." 

Wanting to start in with the drinks, they each give the presdient a fifty dollar bill.

Two hours later, a teetering, empty-handed Obama finds them in a booth. "Hey guys, this is really important. Jus'sec, I know this guy ... Hey, my man!! No problemo! Anything for my union bros! Just go up to the bar. It's paid for all night! ... Anyway, the bartender sees you guys sitting here not drinking anything, so he tells me to tell you that you gotta order something. So here's what I think. If you each give me forty bucks, I can tell the bartender to run a tab...."

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 11:26 AM (F5OMl)

93 Hey I laughed.
Did you see the ears on that guy? Is Barack the Arabic word for Dumbo?
I will be here all week, folks. Try the veal.

Posted by: real joe at September 12, 2011 11:26 AM (CXS7r)

94 I feel sorry for Presadant Obama. He is trying hard people. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE have respect for the Office Wingnuts !!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: LaQuisha Johnston at September 12, 2011 11:26 AM (48wze)

95 I swear CharlieDildo if I could ever find that middle finger emoicon I would let you have it. You RINO hater!

Posted by: polynikes Texan for Romney at September 12, 2011 11:26 AM (PCEZn)

96 Raise Taxes Now or our entire Universe will be upended.

Posted by: Jogging Shrimp at September 12, 2011 11:27 AM (71LDo)

97 Speaking of jokes, CNN is "sponsoring" (that's their words) the Republican Tea Party (Express) debate?! How stupid can we get?

Posted by: t-bird at September 12, 2011 11:27 AM (FcR7P)

98

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SCOAMF:  That wasn't a chicken.  That was my wife.

Posted by: Soona - Tearorrist at September 12, 2011 11:27 AM (zK4pP)

99 Hey, let's throw Mubarak under the bus and see how that works out.  I mean history proves that crazy mobs won't attack embassies, right?

I'm getting that Revelations vibe again.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at September 12, 2011 11:27 AM (7utQ2)

100
more from the Obama Gag Reel:

"The only thing less popular than putting money into banks is putting money into the auto industry."

/hahahahahaha!

(March 2009)



Posted by: soothsayer at September 12, 2011 11:27 AM (sqkOB)

101 I'm really not knocking these jokes per se. I'm just pointing out that of all the various jokes they were pitched in the writer's meeting, these were probably among the weakest. But they had to be told, they figured, because the *topic* compels it be covered. Let me give you an example. Suppose Leno says, just as an embarrassed aside, "Gee, I guess we kind of blew it in 2008, huh?" Now, would that really be a *joke*, per se? Or would that me more him saying something that's on everyone's mind, in a sort of joke-like manner? What I'm saying is that most of these jokes are more the latter. The regular media can ignore this, but these guys have instant feedback from audience, every single day. They essentially run an ad-hoc focus group with random americans every single day. If they're now doing clapper material on Obama, then something has changed. And while the rest of the media is insulated from this (they never face an audience or real americans), these guys are sort of canaries in the coal mine for the rest of the media. Or at least they *should* be. I doubt that Jimmy Fallon *wants* to goof on Obama.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:27 AM (nj1bB)

102 91 CBD,

eh...you gotta luagh...look he is great gallows humor fodder.

"President Barack Obama told his Cabinet yesterday to insure that every taxpayer dollar is spent wisely. But there was one embarrassing moment when he had to explain to the Cabinet what a taxpayer was." --Jay Leno

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:27 AM (AEIYh)

103

Let us never forget the momentus occasion where a MSM blogger (Andrew Malcolm for the L.A. Times) created perhaps the snarkiest article with the snarkiest photo/caption/title/ending/middle/everything about O (and Crist and Biden and Emmanuel and ...) ever.

June 16, 2010. What is truly sad is to see just how lower the President has sunk since.

Posted by: CAC at September 12, 2011 11:27 AM (8xUhs)

104
60 Minutes' Steve Kroft then asked,

“Are you punch-drunk?”


/hahahahahahaha!

Posted by: soothsayer at September 12, 2011 11:28 AM (sqkOB)

105 So the single conservative in the White House press corps asks, "why, Mr. President, why treat the country that elected you this way"?

And the President says, "because fuck 'em, that's why."

That one gets me right in the wheelhouse.


Posted by: Blacksheep at September 12, 2011 11:28 AM (8/DeP)

106 79-- that's not bad.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:28 AM (nj1bB)

107 Take my stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.
Please.

Posted by: jonsten at September 12, 2011 11:28 AM (8JDFj)

108 We have the same respect for the office you guys did when Bush was President. See how you like it now.

Posted by: kansas at September 12, 2011 11:28 AM (mka2b)

109 Take the president....please.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 12, 2011 11:29 AM (1Jaio)

110 Jokes about Obama warms the soul, I think the left's vacuous pleas for respecting the dignity of the office are the your tears taste like sugar moment.

Posted by: joeindc44 at September 12, 2011 11:29 AM (QxSug)

111 106 Ace,

exactly my point....Leno politically is likely the only guy that may not have voted for him, BUT he is also extremely sensitive to his audience.  He was mocked for it during the "tonight Show War" with Letterman.

For Leno to start going harder means he senses the honeymoon is over and 2010 was more than a tantrum.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:30 AM (AEIYh)

112 Is Don Rickles still around?

Posted by: SFGoth at September 12, 2011 11:30 AM (dZ756)

113 Seriously man, you're funnier, but that is about as funny as it gets for Leno.

Posted by: William at September 12, 2011 11:30 AM (dE2JB)

114
Ass this swill.
Right away.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at September 12, 2011 11:30 AM (p+mzQ)

115 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Nope. Still not a joke.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:30 AM (8y9MW)

116

Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away.

Everyone didn't.  Just the feckless twits like you, Craig.

Get your stink off me, laddy.

Posted by: eleven at September 12, 2011 11:30 AM (7DB+a)

117 President Obama created some jobs today.

(That's it. That's the joke)

Posted by: Jay Leno at September 12, 2011 11:30 AM (usXZy)

118 Joe Biden walks face first into a plate glass window.

....

Yes, that's it.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at September 12, 2011 11:30 AM (7utQ2)

119 116 Did anyone read the NY Slime story about Jackie O's book?

She says what everyone knows, that MLK was a fucking around,

And she said he beat up white hookers.  Whoa, Jackie O.  Caroline must need the money.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:31 AM (UOM48)

120 105 soothsayer,

cue 200 billion

*ka-ching*

then at the end a solemn....sadly the joke's been on us let's laugh for a change and vote for "fill in x"

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:31 AM (AEIYh)

121 Is Don Rickles still around?

He's on a bender in Phuket with Abe Vigoda.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at September 12, 2011 11:32 AM (7utQ2)

122 Is Don Rickles still around?

Why yes... yes he is. Though I think he is too old to care.

Posted by: Mjim at September 12, 2011 11:32 AM (rN9Na)

123 Oh shit.

Brace yourself for the EO's. - safe link to Roll Call

(sorry I keep going OT. I have v. little time here today and I'm just vomiting links all over the joint)

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 11:32 AM (pLTLS)

124 Leno: Government statistics show the U.S. economy created zero jobs in August. President Obama now says he's confident this month he can double that. That is great, the Dims cant do that kind of math - so they take it as a positives for Obama, and the Pubs love irony - so a perfect everyone wins joke. clap, clap, drink

Posted by: Jean at September 12, 2011 11:32 AM (WkuV6)

125
more from Shecky-O

“What do you think a stimulus is? It’s spending — that’s the whole point! Seriously.”

/hahahahahaha!

seriously! hahahahahaha!

Posted by: soothsayer at September 12, 2011 11:32 AM (sqkOB)

126 Fallon: President Obama is refusing to give specifics about his jobs plan because he wants people to tune in on Thursday. That’s not how you handle the economy -– that’s how you handle the ‘American Idol’ results show. 'I have a plan that could put millions back to work. You’ll find out more…after the break.'


That actually made me giggle....

Posted by: © Sponge at September 12, 2011 11:32 AM (UK9cE)

127 So a president goes to an agent ans ays, "I got this new act."

"Fine," says the agent. "Let's see it."

So the president passes an $800 billion stimulus that fails.
Then he passes stimulus 2, taking it over a trillion.
Then he and his party pass a 2,300-page attempt to nationalize one-fifth of the economy over the vociferous objection of 60% of the public. They call such objectors "evil-doers," "nazis" and "racists."
Then he helplessly contemplates his navel while the Gulf of Mexico is bathed in oil.
Then he passes a financial "reform" bill no one has ever read.
Then he goes golfing while real unemployment reaches 16.2%, and caps it off by going to war without congressional authorization.

The agent is disgusted. "What do you call it?" he asks.

"The 'Aristocrats.'" (*jazz hands*)

Posted by: . at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (gQLr2)

128 Obama and Balky from Perfect Strangers walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Take the effeminiate, ineffectual has been out of here, immediately!" Balky says, "But the President needs to do Number Ones-ies." Thank you, I'll be here next week too.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (nj1bB)

129 129 Oh shit.

Brace yourself for the EO's. - safe link to Roll Call

(sorry I keep going OT. I have v. little time here today and I'm just vomiting links all over the joint)

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 03:32 PM (pLTLS)

That's okay, curious.  *ducks and runs*

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (UOM48)

130 "President Obama" is the biggest joke in American History.

Posted by: Breaker19 at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (WCm02)

131

"So this Michelle and Barack act, what do they call themselves?"

"The Aristocrats!"

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (w41GQ)

132 131 soothsayer,

show quick clip of rioting union workers and add the tally

*ka-ching*

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (AEIYh)

133 >>>Why another vaca of course. Gimme an effing break w/this crap already. Inquiring minds want to know, will M'Chelle Antoinette be taking a separate plane?

Posted by: nightwitch at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (11j7G)

Posted by: Blacksheep at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (8/DeP)

135 Comedy is hard, snark is easier.

I wonder if Snark Week be on the discover channel or history channel.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 12, 2011 11:33 AM (PEwFJ)

136

My point is that these jokes were not selected due to their inherent comedy value.

Dude, I specialize in no inherent comedy value!

Q: Why did President Obama cross the road?
A: Well, he didn't really cross the road. But he will if he's re-elected!

 

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 11:34 AM (F5OMl)

137 That's okay, curious.  *ducks and runs*

Cold, Jane.  That was cold.
But well-played.  I give it a 9.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:34 AM (8y9MW)

138

Hey, did you hear Obama locked his keys in his car? Yeah, poor guy panicked because his family was trapped inside.

Wocka Wocka Wocka! 

Posted by: Foz E Bear at September 12, 2011 11:34 AM (boNGU)

139 So, Rush says all the candidates are going after Perry over SSI in the debate tonight.  I say the media and the other GOP candidates are in the beginning stages of the 5 steps of coping with grief:

Five Stages Of Grief
1. Denial and Isolation.
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Right now, I think the GOP and the media in general is still at Step 1.  Perry is at step 5.

Posted by: ugknown at September 12, 2011 11:35 AM (YUwuZ)

140 Behold: The God Who Stutters.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 12, 2011 11:35 AM (YYUcU)

141

136  Where's my gas money?

Posted by: Peggy Joseph at September 12, 2011 03:33 PM (hXJOG)

I'll pay you 50 cents to release your methane way over there, instead of here. That's your gas money.

 

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at September 12, 2011 11:35 AM (w41GQ)

142 The President was asked if he was worried about next November and said, "don't worry I've got me!"


//ka-ching

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:36 AM (AEIYh)

143 Obama walks into a bar carrying a slab of asphalt under his arm and says "A beer please, and one for the road".

Bartender says, "sorry, I can't, it's not shovel-ready."

Posted by: Blacksheep at September 12, 2011 11:36 AM (8/DeP)

144 *ducks and runs*

Ouch. Accurate and funneh. But still ouch

*slinks away*

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 11:36 AM (pLTLS)

145 Has Wanda Sykes started making jokes about our half-white President yet?

Posted by: gebrauchshund at September 12, 2011 03:11 PM (iYwUw)



That racist bitch can take a long walk off a short pier, for sure.


Posted by: © Sponge at September 12, 2011 11:36 AM (UK9cE)

146 A Secret Service agent wants to move Obama to another building, without a crowd collecting and protesting him. So the Secret Service agent tucks Obama into his pants. The Secret Service agent figures Obama might be hungry, so he buys some popcorn. When he thinks no one is looking, he unzips his fly and lets Obama's head out. Obama munches on the popcorn. Two old ladies walk along, and one sees this. "Oh my God!," One old lady says. "That man just unzipped his fly and let his manhood out!" "Don't get so shriek-y," the other one says. "If you've seen one, you've seen them all." "Yes," the first old woman agrees. "But this one had a 9.1% unemployment rate and extended our spending-to-GDP ratio to a harrowing 90%!!!" Thank you, thank you. Tip your waitress.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:36 AM (nj1bB)

147 152 *ducks and runs*

Ouch. Accurate and funneh. But still ouch

*slinks away*

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 03:36 PM (pLTLS)

Come back here!  {{hug}}

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:37 AM (UOM48)

148 Brace yourself for the EO's. - safe link to Roll Call

I don't need congress, I just needed an audience for my speech like Mao forces his guys to do.

Posted by: King Barack at September 12, 2011 11:37 AM (PEwFJ)

149

I got this email a couple of weeks ago:

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. 
--Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like 
Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. 
--Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's'
new Obama Value Meal? 
A: Order anything you like
and the guy behind you has to pay for it. 
--Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama 
call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. 
--Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between
Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers,
and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners. 
--David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat
in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink,
who would be saved?
A: America ! 
--Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between
Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. 
--Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of
the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper 
stickers off the road. 
--David Letterman 

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at September 12, 2011 11:38 AM (baL2B)

150 What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?

One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.

Ka-ching

roll next clip

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:38 AM (AEIYh)

151 What we need now is another wave of Obama worship songs. For the children. Via late night television. But that would  probably be hitting far too close to home for all of the hope and change useful idiots.

Posted by: Blue Hen at September 12, 2011 11:38 AM (6rX0K)

152 ace @154

Okay, I chuckled. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:39 AM (UOM48)

153 Don't you mean "sponge-worthy"?

Posted by: chrissy matthews at September 12, 2011 11:39 AM (Ou4YC)

154 Ok my first question is to Gov Perry, all of your opponents say you hate old people, why is it that you hate old people?

Posted by: Wolf is Blitzer at September 12, 2011 11:39 AM (PEwFJ)

155 "President Obama" is the biggest joke in American History."

Thank God someone noticed!

Posted by: President Buchanan at September 12, 2011 11:39 AM (71LDo)

156

was  a big fan of conan...his funniest stuff was when his contract was running out he was one of the first to do obama jokes....but when he came back...on tbs........his first jokes were at gwb's expense ....i gave him a couple months and now i refuse to watch him

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work s.o.b. barbarian tea party terrorist at September 12, 2011 11:39 AM (IpiZb)

157 Jane I actually do have to run, heh It's all good. And you were right. Don't think I didn't think of that by like the third link.

Posted by: lu at September 12, 2011 11:40 AM (pLTLS)

158 159 Blue Hen,

or....show a bunch of downtrodden looking workers, managers, and fat cat investors singing the

"he's gonna spread happiness, he's gonna spread freedom" song in front of a closing factory

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:40 AM (AEIYh)

159 I doubt that Jimmy Fallon *wants* to goof on Obama.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 03:27 PM

If Fallon makes me laugh about anything it'll be the first time

No one did late night like Conan

Posted by: kbdabear at September 12, 2011 11:41 AM (Y+DPZ)

160 Geez, Ace.. you a joke writer now?

Almost every current events type gag follows that same format.. but you wouldn't know that because you don't watch those shows!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at September 12, 2011 11:41 AM (f9c2L)

161 Timeout in honor of the solemness of yesterday officially over!

Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of miserable failure!

And, this. 

Posted by: Theresa D., TPT--SCOAMF is one and done! at September 12, 2011 11:41 AM (Zgfnd)

162 ~ tap tap tap tap tap ~ This microphone, it is active? Yes? You can hear me in the back? Yes? So good to be you .... It is I, Hadji the Muslim Comic here to make the fun at the nondeductible expense of your President Obama ... Did you hear the one about President Obama inheriting the Worst Economy in the History of Your Western Civilization When He Took Office? So did he. What Is Black and White and Doubles When You Spend One Trillion Dollars On It? The Unemployment Rate as Published by The New York Times. What Is The Difference Between a Beer Summit and a Presidential Address on Jobs to a Joint Assembly of Congress? Vice President Biden wears underwear to the Beer Summits, I'm told. Thank you thank you thank you, you have been an audience worthy of my bombing. attend to your waitresses.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at September 12, 2011 11:41 AM (h6mPj)

163 169 KBdabear,

dunno I think Carson was better...

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:41 AM (AEIYh)

164 ChristyBlinky, Some of those are funny, but I'm 99.99% sure few if any of them are accurately attributed. I think someone just collected Obama jokes and appended "-- Jimmy Kimmel" to them.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:41 AM (nj1bB)

165

Q: What do you get when you cross Barack Obama with a polar bear?

A: A stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable bear.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 11:42 AM (F5OMl)

166
A old buddy of mine used to write material for Leno. (He may still.)
Definitely wasn't a lib.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at September 12, 2011 11:42 AM (QMtmy)

167 "President Obama" is the biggest joke in American History."

+100

Posted by: Jimmy Carter at September 12, 2011 11:42 AM (GTbGH)

168 178 BM,

Ford

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:43 AM (AEIYh)

169 "Obama really isn't that funny. It's not a liberal bias thing. Clinton was made fun of as much as any politician, even Gore was. Obama just doesn't have something that you could really make easy jokes on."
Posted by: palin steele at June 11, 2009 11:30 AM (VDj74)

I always love the classics

Posted by: kbdabear at September 12, 2011 11:43 AM (Y+DPZ)

170 175 Q: What do you get when you cross Barack Obama with a polar bear? A: A stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable bear. Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 03:42 PM (F5OMl) See, this is funny....

Posted by: Joejm65 at September 12, 2011 11:44 AM (tpK0A)

171 Edgy, timely humor there, late night TV. Really on the ball. To get you up to speed, did you know there's now sliced bread? Google it! What, you've not heard of the intertubes?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 12, 2011 11:45 AM (r4t7/)

172 Posted by: kbdabear at September 12, 2011 03:43 PM (Y+DPZ)

Oh lord.  I'd forgotten that one.
Of course, I try to forget virtually everything dum-dum says, so I guess that shouldn't be too surprising.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:45 AM (8y9MW)

173 173 169 KBdabear,

dunno I think Carson was better...
Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 03:41 PM

Carson was early late night, the mainstream stuff. Yes, he was the King

The Late Late Night stuff is where the humor gets a lot edgier, and it was when Letterman was actually funny

Posted by: kbdabear at September 12, 2011 11:45 AM (Y+DPZ)

174 I like the bear one.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:46 AM (nj1bB)

175 This is what you do when you want to say a truth, but don't want to get the subject mad at you - you just add a little kidding to it.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at September 12, 2011 11:46 AM (hLRSq)

176 God help me, but I enjoy Hadji the Muslim Comic.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 12, 2011 11:46 AM (YYUcU)

177 Is it my imagination or are the crowds that sit behind Obama when he is giving his campaign speeches getting darker?  I mean, it used to be the crowd consisted of 1 african american lady, two hispanic ladies, 4 white guys and 5 white women. Oh, and one japanese guy.  Now its about 60% african american and the rest of the crowd is white women. 

Posted by: Marie at September 12, 2011 11:46 AM (H50jQ)

178

On January 21, 2013, Barack Obama enjoys his first day as Former President of the United States. He sighed loud enough for his wife to hear.

Michelle said, "You're officially retired, dear. Put your feet up and try to relax."

Barack did what his wife suggested and sighed again.

"Now what's wrong?" Michelle asked.

Barack said, "This feels too much like work."

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 11:46 AM (F5OMl)

179 Government statistics show the U.S. economy created zero jobs in August. President Obama now says he's confident this month he can double that.

Actually, I thought that was pretty funny.  Lame, yeah, but funny.

Posted by: blue star at September 12, 2011 11:46 AM (11cwq)

180 174 ChristyBlinky,

Some of those are funny, but I'm 99.99% sure few if any of them are accurately attributed. I think someone just collected Obama jokes and appended "-- Jimmy Kimmel" to them.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 03:41 PM (nj1bB)

Sorry! I was hoping they were realz. My bad.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at September 12, 2011 11:46 AM (baL2B)

181 180 "Obama really isn't that funny. It's not a liberal bias thing. Clinton was made fun of as much as any politician, even Gore was. Obama just doesn't have something that you could really make easy jokes on."
Posted by: palin steele at June 11, 2009 11:30 AM (VDj74)

I always love the classics

Posted by: kbdabear at September 12, 2011 03:43 PM (Y+DPZ)

I wish I could remember what he said, in regards to Iran I think that just spurred on an entire thread of mocking his idiocy about history.  It might have been about revolutions.

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2011 11:47 AM (GULKT)

182 Someone needs to get Hadji a network showcase.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:47 AM (nj1bB)

183 Yeah, the "laughter" is of the "if I didn't laugh, I'd cry" variety.

This SCOAMF goes to eleven.

Posted by: K~Bob, who says "This SCOAMF goes to eleven." at September 12, 2011 11:47 AM (ydjiB)

184 184 KBdabear,

ah so you were watching TV back in 1776 when Washington gave a speech declaring war on the fwench?"

//Biden

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:47 AM (AEIYh)

185 Reagan was an actor who became President, Obama is a president who acted stupidly.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 12, 2011 11:48 AM (PEwFJ)

186 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at September 12, 2011 11:48 AM (fyOgS)

187 Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 12, 2011 03:45 PM (r4t7/)

Don't deride your allies- however late to the party.

As Ace mentions, the idea at this point is that they know these "jokes" are going to be well received.  Their jobs aren't to be funny, they're to get ratings.  If they'd been making these same jokes 2 years ago, they wouldn't have gotten good ratings.

The fact that even ultra-liberal David "Rape of a minor is funny" Letterman is getting in on the act is yet further proof that Barack Obama, that stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure, is (likely) one-and-done.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 11:48 AM (8y9MW)

188 Obama is visited in his dreams by former presidents.

The first night George Washington appears, and when Obama asks him how best to govern, Washington says, "never lie to the American people."

The next night he is visited by Thomas Jefferson, who advises that he "should obey the constitution in all decisions.

The third night Abraham Lincoln comes to him in a dream and suggests, "Go see a play."

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative)) at September 12, 2011 11:48 AM (LH6ir)

189 I remember when Conan had a fake W constantly snorting everything like a coke-head Yosemite Sam. Has he ever done an Obama doing coke joke? A single one? Cause it was kinda in Obama's autobiography. About scoring some blow. And pot. And how he liked to suck cock. Ok, the first two were in his "autobiography".

Posted by: Clubber Lang at September 12, 2011 11:49 AM (QcFbt)

190 A jew, a priest and Obama go to a bar for drinks. Two of them pay. One says that a super committee will vote on whether his drinks will be paid for. The bartender tells him "you are a Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure." All three agree that this is common knowledge.

Posted by: Sub-Tard at September 12, 2011 11:49 AM (0M3AQ)

191 193 Someone needs to get Hadji a network showcase.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 03:47 PM (nj1bB)

Isn't there an actual Muslim comic out there?  I seem to recall someone.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:49 AM (UOM48)

192 Hey, remember when Obama promised there would be no boots on the ground in Libya?  Well, there wasn't, - until we needed them.

Thank you, and please try the lamb.

Posted by: Fritz at September 12, 2011 11:49 AM (/ZZCn)

193 Barack Obama and Jesus are playing golf. Jesus is faced with an impossible shot, 250 yards, out of the rough, with a stand of trees blocking his only approach. "This is going to be a tough one," Obama says. Jesus smiles. "Why did you blow half a billion of taxpayer money on Solyndra?" he quips, and then makes the shot.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:49 AM (nj1bB)

194 The Obama Happy Meal-Order what you want the guy behind you pays....

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:50 AM (AEIYh)

195 Barack said, "This feels too much like work."

Nice.  I chuckled out loud.

Posted by: toby928™ at September 12, 2011 11:50 AM (GTbGH)

196 What does a disgraced, repudiated, and defeated Messiah do after he gets booted from Office? Disney World?

Posted by: nevergiveup at September 12, 2011 11:50 AM (i6RpT)

197 "Why did you blow half a billion of taxpayer money on Solyndra?" he quips, and then makes the shot.

Now that is funny!

Posted by: Mjim at September 12, 2011 11:50 AM (rN9Na)

198 There is a muslim comic named Azmar Usman.  He was a Chicago attorney who quit to become a comedian. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 11:50 AM (UOM48)

199 I remember watching FDR on late night comedy shows.  Man, I gotta tell you, I laughed.

Posted by: Joey Biden at September 12, 2011 11:51 AM (PEwFJ)

200 "Why did you blow half a billion of taxpayer money on Solyndra?" he quips, and then makes the shot.

What's even funnier is that I didn't even notice that was Ace

Posted by: Mjim at September 12, 2011 11:51 AM (rN9Na)

201 You'll know SCOAMF is finished when he makes a lame joke at a photo-op, speech, or press conference and instead of uproarious laughter from the MBM, just a few nervous titterings

Posted by: kbdabear at September 12, 2011 11:51 AM (Y+DPZ)

202

@154

Has there been another president that was a lame duck as quick as this?

Posted by: Beefy Meatball at September 12, 2011 03:43 PM (yn6XZ)

I'm not (*cough*) sure, but I think you may (*cough*) be correct.

Posted by: Zombie William Henry Harrison at September 12, 2011 11:52 AM (ydjiB)

203 Osama bin Laden walks into a bar.....

and then I killed him.

Try the veal it's halal.  I'll be here all week.

Posted by: Shecky SCOAMF at September 12, 2011 11:53 AM (UOM48)

204 @202 His name is Ahmed Ahmed.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 12, 2011 11:53 AM (YYUcU)

205 The SCOAMF is cold and humorless.  Rush asked the audience once if anyone had ever seen him laugh out loud.  I couldn't remember then and I can't remember now.  Humorless people in power are scary and dangerous.  Maybe that's why no one has been making that many jokes about him. 

Posted by: Soona - Tearorrist at September 12, 2011 11:53 AM (zK4pP)

206

I wish I could remember what he said, in regards to Iran I think that just spurred on an entire thread of mocking his idiocy about history.  It might have been about revolutions.

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2011 03:47 PM

Just google vdj74 site:minx.cc or "palin steele" site:minx.cc

You'll get all the greatest hits

Posted by: kbdabear at September 12, 2011 11:54 AM (Y+DPZ)

207 I'm not (*cough*) sure, but I think you may (*cough*) be correct.

Lame duck, not dead duck.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 12, 2011 11:54 AM (3p99J)

208 I would like to have Obama for dinner. Fava beans and Valu-Rite. I am not so sure I could stomach it, however.

Posted by: Bluimic Donner Partier at September 12, 2011 11:54 AM (Pir3k)

209

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 03:46 PM (F5OMl)

 

Wow, that's funny!

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 11:55 AM (0fUOB)

210 So let me get this straight: if they don't mock Obama, it's because they're biased. If they do, then they're only doing it out of obligation, and they're not funny in any case. Whatever....  Give credit where it's due.

Personally, I like Leno. (Hate Letterman and never watch him.) His  jokes are not always the most sophisticated, and yes he was late to the party as far as starting to dig into Obama, but I, for one, sure am enjoying him slamming The One for a change. And the audience doesn't gasp in horror either....the jokes are resonating. THAT's an ever bigger deal.

Posted by: Cornfed at September 12, 2011 11:55 AM (BcYZo)

211

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: We'll put 16 million Americans to work screwing in this lightbulb. Pass this bill!

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 11:55 AM (F5OMl)

212 Hey guys, his joke about the Special Olympics was a knee slapper. My sides still hurt. The man is nothing but humor.

Posted by: Sub-Tard at September 12, 2011 11:56 AM (0M3AQ)

213 Isn't there an actual Muslim comic out there? I seem to recall someone. Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 03:49 PM (UOM4 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ There was, but he chose a new profession after getting stoned too often.

Posted by: Countrysquire at September 12, 2011 11:57 AM (neP+b)

214

What does a disgraced, repudiated, and defeated Messiah do after he gets booted from Office? Disney World?

 

Like Rush says, failure is a resume enhancer in the Democrat Party.  I'm sure the world will be his oyster.  I'm imagining Sec. Gen. of the U.N.

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 11:57 AM (0fUOB)

215 A Polack, a Kraut, and Barack Obama are captured by cannibals. Before eating them, the cannibal chief turns to Obama and says, "You are a rigidly ideological, anti-American leftist who lied about writing his own autobiography, lied about being friends with unrepentant left-wing terrorists, attended a virulently racist church for over a decade, and in general are sub-human progressive trash. I hate you and everything you stand for, you vile, despicable maggot. May your soul rot in hell."

Posted by: Clubber Lang at September 12, 2011 11:57 AM (QcFbt)

216 Does it shit in the woods?

Of course.

Posted by: The Pope at September 12, 2011 11:57 AM (GTbGH)

217

Isn't there an actual Muslim comic out there?  I seem to recall someone.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Party terrorist, and proud of it at September 12, 2011 03:49 PM (UOM4

 

Bahgdad Bob comes to mind.

Posted by: Soona - Tearorrist at September 12, 2011 11:57 AM (zK4pP)

218 Barack and Michelle decide to buy some new shoes.

Here's the funny part: eleven planes, a full hotel full of secret service and retainers, and it turns out that no one in France makes women's shoes that big.

Posted by: K~Bob, who says, "This SCOAMF goes to eleven." at September 12, 2011 11:57 AM (ydjiB)

219 A duck walks into the bar, to see Barack Obama serving drinks. The duck orders a Gin Rickey. Obama makes it, and then the duck drinks it. "How much will that be?" the duck asks. "Sixteen trillion dollars," Obama says. The duck pays his tab. As he's leaving, Obama says, "Hey, we don't get many ducks in here." The duck says over his shoulder, "We made a horrible mistake in 2008, and I shudder to think our grandchildren's grandchildren will still be paying for it eighty years hence."

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 11:58 AM (nj1bB)

220 AllenG (Dedicated Tenther): "Don't deride your allies- however late to the party."

The thing is I don't think of them as allies... pretty much ever. They're filters and they've been concealing truths. That they're doing it know speaks to how far behind the public they are. The public already knows the facts and truth. The comics are trying to play catchup to save their reputations and not to be allied with "us." I can't even consider them mere canaries in the coalmine of the body politic. Were we to wait for their signal, we'd all be dead. The masses are already getting their messaging from elsewhere which is practically death to comedians. More than anything, these late night comedians are in self-preservation mode.


And Hadji is Da Bomb. Always been a fan.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 12, 2011 11:58 AM (r4t7/)

221 231 Barack and Michelle decide to buy some new shoes.

Here's the funny part: eleven planes, a full hotel full of secret service and retainers, and it turns out that no one in France makes women's shoes that big.

lol

Posted by: Shecky SCOAMF at September 12, 2011 11:58 AM (UOM48)

222

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SCOAMF:  That wasn't a chicken.  That was my wife.

Posted by: Soona - Tearorrist at September 12, 2011 03:27 PM (zK4pP)

Dragging two hogs in a sack.

Posted by: Havedash at September 12, 2011 11:58 AM (sFD5n)

223 I remember when Conan had a fake W constantly snorting everything like a coke-head Yosemite Sam.


Wasn't Conan the one who got in trouble for the "Snipers Wanted" caption on a picture of Bush?

Or was that some other talentless hack?

Posted by: mpurinTexas, Evil Conservanatrix, supports Rick Perry, bitch at September 12, 2011 11:59 AM (pY3GI)

224 ''President Obama's response to this economic crisis was to meet with some small business owners at a soda shop in Martha's Vineyard this week,''  ''Well, the bad news? The small business owners are now General Motors, General Electric, and Century 21.''

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 11:59 AM (AEIYh)

225 O/T, but have you all seen this photo?  It's very heartbreaking.  Yes, Paul Krugman, we should feel shame.  Yes, Obama, 9/11 is about working in soup kitchens. 

9/11 Photo of Grieving Dad Goes Viral  (link to ABC)

Posted by: Lady in Black at September 12, 2011 11:59 AM (ycuSb)

226

Isn't there an actual Muslim comic out there?  I seem to recall someone.

No. No, there isn't.

Posted by: Albert Brooks at September 12, 2011 11:59 AM (O6q63)

227

The duck pays his tab. As he's leaving, Obama says, "Hey, we don't get many ducks in here."

 

Should have been "duck pays his bill", yuck, yuck!


Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 11:59 AM (0fUOB)

228 "I'm imagining Sec. Gen. of the U.N." That ought to put some legs under the "US out of UN" movement.

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at September 12, 2011 12:00 PM (cbyrC)

229 231   They went to the wrong farrier. 

Thank you and don't forget to tip your stable boy.

Posted by: Fritz at September 12, 2011 12:00 PM (/ZZCn)

230

A Polack, a Kraut, and Barack Obama are captured by cannibals. Before eating them, the cannibal chief turns to Obama and says, " ... I hate you and everything you stand for, you vile, despicable maggot. May your soul rot in hell."

Then the Kraut saw a way out, but he had to go across the Polack.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 12:01 PM (F5OMl)

231 If they do, then they're only doing it out of obligation, and they're not funny in any case.

That's not what he said. 

He's pointing to these specific jokes and, further, pointing out that the very fact that they aren't all that funny is very, very bad for Obama.

Consider- a TV Comic's #1 job is not to be funny, it's to get ratings.  Two things are bad for ratings- not relating enough to the audience and not being funny.  The former is far worse than the latter.

So, when comics like Letterman (who is as dyed-in-the-wool a lib as you'll find) is making really weak jokes about Obama, you know that he's in danger of not relating enough to his audience if he doesn't say something about it.

It's more about the audience than the comic, IOW.  The comics were probably willing (if not too happy about it, in some cases) to make the jokes early on (see also: TV Comic's #1 job).  Now we've reached the point where it makes economic sense for them to make them- even when they're weak-tea jokes that won't really get laughs.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 12:01 PM (8y9MW)

232 The problem is that what O'bama is doing to this country is not really that funny. 

As a matter of fact it is downright depressing.


Posted by: Lord Monochromicorn at September 12, 2011 12:01 PM (CAArl)

233 Q. Why don't they have ice cubes in Poland? A. Because Barack Obama is a rich, prep school kid from an elite white family who maliciously abused the Affirmative Action system put in place to help descendants of American slaves.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at September 12, 2011 12:02 PM (QcFbt)

234 What's worse than roaches on your piano? A stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure in the White House.

Posted by: Countrysquire at September 12, 2011 12:02 PM (neP+b)

235

"You don't want to get between Michelle and a tamale."

Posted by: Standout Stand Up Comedian Barack Obama at September 12, 2011 12:02 PM (0fUOB)

236 Moochelle, Barack and Joe Biden walk into a taco bar...

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 12:03 PM (0fUOB)

237 Mock we much.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at September 12, 2011 12:03 PM (gakCe)

238 "You don't have to be on television every minute of every day. You're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'..."

-Maher

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 12:04 PM (AEIYh)

239

A blonde, a brunette and Barack Obama walk into a bar. Over the first few rounds, President Obama explained his Jobs Creating Stimulus bill to the two ladies. When he got done, the blonde said, "That won't work."

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 12:04 PM (F5OMl)

240 252 Moochelle, Barack and Joe Biden walk into a taco bar...

Three enter, two leave.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 12, 2011 12:04 PM (UOM48)

241 Honestly, I laughed out lough at the second Leno joke, because it really strikes me as something Obama would in fact say.

Posted by: KG at September 12, 2011 12:05 PM (LD21B)

242 255 Firehorse,

don't forget to tip the stylist you've all been great goodnight

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 12:05 PM (AEIYh)

243 255

A blonde, a brunette and Barack Obama walk into a bar. Over the first few rounds, President Obama explained his Jobs Creating Stimulus bill to the two ladies. When he got done, the blonde said, "That won't work."

 

That's funny.

Posted by: Sub-Tard at September 12, 2011 12:05 PM (0M3AQ)

244 255

A blonde, a brunette and Barack Obama walk into a bar. Over the first few rounds, President Obama explained his Jobs Creating Stimulus bill to the two ladies. When he got done, the blonde said, "That won't work."


thread winner

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 12, 2011 12:05 PM (UOM48)

245 Hi. My name is Barack Obama and I'm your President.

Posted by: Joke-A-Day Calendar at September 12, 2011 12:06 PM (r4t7/)

246 O/T Darth Cheney is on Cavuto.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 12, 2011 12:06 PM (UOM48)

247 Q. Why do Mexicans eat so many tortillas? A. Barack Obama is a liar, a socialist, and a traitor.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at September 12, 2011 12:06 PM (QcFbt)

248 The comics are trying to play catchup to save their reputations and not to be allied with "us."

No, they're not.  They're trying to maintain their audiences.

There is only one kind of comic who's job is to be funny- a stand-up guy still working clubs.  Once he's hit TV, or the Movies, or Late Night, then he's no longer supposed to be funny, he's supposed to get and maintain an audience.

Had they made these jokes even a year ago, a large piece of their audience would have left them, and they'd have gotten cancelled.  Making them now is a "lagging indicator" for the rest of culture, but it is a leading indicator for the rest of the media.

If they're making these jokes fairly regularly, that's telling the rest of the media that their god-king has fallen from public favor- and it's time to find a new god-king.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 12, 2011 12:06 PM (8y9MW)

249

A blonde, a brunette and Barack Obama walk into a bar. Over the first few rounds, President Obama explained his Jobs Creating Stimulus bill to the two ladies. When he got done, the blonde said, "That won't work."

Ha! Ha!  Too funny!

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 12:06 PM (0fUOB)

250

Just google vdj74 site:minx.cc or "palin steele" site:minx.cc

You'll get all the greatest hits

Posted by: kbdabear at September 12, 2011 03:54 PM (Y+DPZ)

Well yeah, I know that.  The problem is that it was a one line thing and wasn't that great.  The greatness came in the form of everyone's responses to his idiocy proving him wrong.  So not that easy to find.

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2011 12:07 PM (GULKT)

251

Yeah, I remember back in 2007 the 'comics' claiming Obama was soooooo intelligent and it would be impossible to write any good material about him.

I guess they missed that umbrella photo, and 57 states, Penn State Littly Lions, Cominsky Park, corpseman etc. Yup, nothing but supra intelligence. Not a single joke anywhere. Think of the crap SNL made of a single slip by President Ford.

Posted by: Schwalbe : The © at September 12, 2011 12:07 PM (UU0OF)

252 I feel another "you're not funny, stop trying to be funny" lecture coming on.....

Posted by: mpurinTexas, Evil Conservanatrix, supports Rick Perry, bitch at September 12, 2011 12:07 PM (pY3GI)

253 You can't boil the First Lady; she's a fryer.

Posted by: a cannibal standing by a large cooking pot at September 12, 2011 12:08 PM (Ou4YC)

254

MATT DAMON!!!ELEVENTY!!

 

Posted by: Matt Damon at September 12, 2011 12:08 PM (0fUOB)

255 You know why its called he American Jobs Act.  Because Americans get jobbed.

Buzz.  Buzz.  Buzz.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes on Americas got talent at September 12, 2011 12:08 PM (PEwFJ)

256 Cavuto's got a bit of a sad joke going on right now.  He's got a speed reader trying to read stacks upon stacks upon stacks of new regulations.

Posted by: Soona - Tearorrist at September 12, 2011 12:09 PM (zK4pP)

257 James Cameron decides to go take another look at Titanic for the sequel he's been kicking around in his mind, as his sub approaches the ocean floor he sees Barack Obama with flippers on swimming in and out of a hole in the side.  Curious Cameron asks, "what the hell are you doing here Mr. President?"

"My whole term has been a shipwreck!" replied Obama....



thanks enjoy the bends...you've been great good night

Posted by: sven10077 at September 12, 2011 12:09 PM (AEIYh)

258 Good evening, kuffirs! It is to being my pleasure to entertain you this evening. What is difference between your Lindsay Lohan and Barack Obama? No one knows this? One of them is unchaste whore, while the other wishes toWASTE. MORE. Yes?! You see?! The suicide vest it goes BOOM, correct?! Blessings upon you, sons of pigs and apes! Ensure to pay the baksheesh to the infidel whore who fetches your forbidden libations.

Posted by: Empire of Achmed, Hadji Tribute Comic at September 12, 2011 12:09 PM (YYUcU)

259

"Hey, did you hear Obama locked his keys in his car? Yeah, poor guy panicked because his family was trapped inside."

Not only that, but it was starting to rain and the windows were all rolled down!

Posted by: gebrauchshund at September 12, 2011 12:10 PM (iYwUw)

260 How does Barack stay awake during one of his own speeches?

SCOAMF-etamines

Posted by: K~Bob, who says, at September 12, 2011 12:10 PM (ydjiB)

261 Ace - the duck one was pretty funny - but only if you know the original.

Like someone said.. day job.. hang on to it.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at September 12, 2011 12:10 PM (f9c2L)

262 What did the illegal with two penises call them?
The president and the vice president.

Posted by: an old joke at September 12, 2011 12:10 PM (Ou4YC)

263 Wait.. I just realized what your day job is.. holy fuck! You could be president!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at September 12, 2011 12:11 PM (f9c2L)

264 Q. Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings? A. Barack Obama is using burdensome EPA regulations to systematically hobble the American energy sector in order to raise the price of all forms of energy for American consumers, thus lowering their standard of living and quality of life.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at September 12, 2011 12:13 PM (QcFbt)

265

Michelle Obama:

"Barack Obama will require you to work. He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your divisions. That you come out of your isolation, that you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed."

 

Got that right, sister!  I think a lot more people are getting informed and involved now because of your husband. 

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 12:15 PM (0fUOB)

266 Q. What did Rick Perry say to Obama after a 10-minute long circus joke? A. Fuck you, clown.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at September 12, 2011 12:15 PM (QcFbt)

268 Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 04:15 PM (0fUOB) What in the hell could possess an *American* even to *think* that--let alone put it into words and *speak* it?

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at September 12, 2011 12:18 PM (cbyrC)

269 What's the difference between Obama and a horse's ass? A: The horse's ass could win Ohio.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 12:18 PM (nj1bB)

270

Has there been another president that was a lame duck as quick as this?

 

Evan Jimmeh Cahtah  took longer.

He sucked just as much, but took longer to get there.

Posted by: MrObvious at September 12, 2011 12:18 PM (2uovW)

271

Ahha, found it.  Comment 99.  Just keep reading from that point on.

99 methos, what popular uprising has ever toppled a tyrant regime?

Posted by: palin steele at June 17, 2009 05:13 PM (VDj74)

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2011 12:19 PM (GULKT)

272 How many Barack Obamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Lightbulbs have been outlawed.

Posted by: ace at September 12, 2011 12:19 PM (nj1bB)

273

How many Barack Obamas does it take to screw America?

Just Teh Won.

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 12:22 PM (0fUOB)

274 The comics are trying to play catchup to save their reputations and not to be allied with "us."

AllenG (Dedicated Tenther): "No, they're not. They're trying to maintain their audiences."

Two sides of the same coin. Lack of reputation as a comedian (because they've lost their "edgy") diminishes audience. And they need to be funny and have been validated as funny to stay relevant. Sure, guests and all are part of the package, but comedy is the raison d'être. It's there where they have their power and prestige. Lose it because they've been determined to be behind the audience or at odds with it and they're toast. First, professionally, then economically.

And I think that key to these late night venues. Just by having the position, they're "deemed to be funny." Keep up the funny and the audience will stay. Don't and they'll leave. Stay relevant or they'll also leave. The self-preservation is the horse before the "keeping an audience" cart because the self-preservation as a comic is so essential to the job. But at this point, we're probably talking past each other. As I said this is all two sides of the same coin.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 12, 2011 12:22 PM (r4t7/)

275 I know what you are saying - "Stop, Achmed! You are killing me!" Yes, Zionist pig - that is the point! So, kuffirs, I am again wondering what is yet another difference between this Lindsay Lohan and your President of the Great Satan? You are wondering, yes? One of them will sniff the cocaine from your penis, while the other starred opposite Michael Keaton in Herbie: Fully Loaded! Yes! A thousand and one of these Achmed has!

Posted by: Empire of Achmed, Hadji Tribute Comic at September 12, 2011 12:22 PM (YYUcU)

276 After 14-trillion bucks fly out the door the customer turns to the bartender and says, "Yeah, he's a little deaf. Do you really think I wanted a 12-inch president?"

Posted by: an old joke at September 12, 2011 12:22 PM (Ou4YC)

277

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

RAWN PAWL!!!1!

Posted by: The Guy Who Brings Up RAWN PAWL!!!1! at September 12, 2011 12:23 PM (Vy1lZ)

278 Question: What do you get when you cross Obama with a Honey Badger? Answer: A stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure that doesn't give a shit.

Posted by: Osama bin Truck Monkey, TEArrorist at September 12, 2011 12:24 PM (jucos)

279

Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Barack Obama walk into Paddy O'Toole's pub.  They order numerous rounds of drinks until closing time.  From single malt scotches to top shop tequilas, no expense is spared.  At the end of the evening, Paddy presents Al Sharpton with the bill. 

Al tells him, "My esteemed colleauge here, Mr. Jackson makes a lot more money than I ever have, please give this bill to him."

Paddy hands the bill to Jesse who replies "Ah, my earnings have been a mere pittance compared to a man who has written several best sellers, is the President of the U.S and is rumoured to have an enormous stash."

So Paddy gives the bill to Barack who replies

"Uh...remember those...um... relatives of mine...in...ah...Ireland?  You are...um...going to have to take it...ahhh...up with...them."

 

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 12:27 PM (0fUOB)

280 Obama walks into a soup kitchen....

Posted by: Breaker19 at September 12, 2011 12:30 PM (WCm02)

281 Barack Obama decides to take the day off.

So he has to fly back to the White House to let them know.

And no one there saw any difference.

cue crying clown from Pagliacci

Posted by: K~Bob, who says, This SCOAMF goes to eleven. at September 12, 2011 12:31 PM (ydjiB)

282 Ahha, found it.  Comment 99.  Just keep reading from that point on.

Good times.

Posted by: toby928™ at September 12, 2011 12:39 PM (GTbGH)

283 ~ tap tap tap tap tap ~ Yes! Hello! It is I, Hadji the Muslim Comic - again. What is the difference between an Obama Jobs Speech and Ramadan? Ramadan happens once a year and lasts a month. An Obama speech about jobs happens once a month and feels like a year. Your President Obama, he talks, the Dow Jones Industrial Average - it drops. Has anybody considered getting President Obama a RosettaStone program and having him give a speech in Chinese? Hadji is just asking ... What is the difference between a Thomas Friedman column and Chinese Take-Out? Nothing - neither make a lasting impression. Hadji has been watching the Republican debates. Like most Muslim men, Hadji prefers the strong horse in the field. Unlike most Muslim men, Hadji does not prefer to have sex with that horse. I keed. I keed. wait ... no ... Hadji must think for a moment ...

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at September 12, 2011 12:40 PM (h6mPj)

284 Barry went to confession and said to the priest, "l'm pregnant."
He asked,
"How did this happen, my child?"
Barry said,
"I think it must be the second coming."
The priest, shocked by this reply asked,
"What makes you think it's the second coming?".
 Barry replied,
"Because I swallowed the first one......."

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at September 12, 2011 12:40 PM (WUWb9)

285 Obama walks into a soup kitchen....

Posted by: Breaker19

 

What's the difference between Obama walking into a soup kitchen and the rest of us?

A: For him it was a choice, not a necessity.

Posted by: Blue Hen at September 12, 2011 12:41 PM (326rv)

286

Comicus:  Have you heard of this new sect, the Christians?  They are a laugh riot.  First of all, they are so poor...

Tonight Show crowd:  How poor are they?

Comicus:  Thank you!  They are so poor ... that they only have *one* god!

[Buddy Rich drums out a rim shot]  [Crowd laughs]

Comicus:  But we Romans are rich.  We've got lots of gods.  We've got a god for everything.  The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation ... but I hear that's coming quickly...

[crowd laughs]

Comicus:  [rolling] Hey, our President is such a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure ...

[crowd groans in apprehension]

Swiftus:  [gesturing madly]  Get off scoamf!  Get off scoamf!!

SCOAMF:  Seize him!

Comicus:  Boy, when you die at the Palace, you really *die* at the Palace!!

Posted by: Count de Monet, Tea Partying Sons of Bitches Martyrs Brigade at September 12, 2011 12:44 PM (4q5tP)

287

Q: Why does President Obama wear red suspenders?

A: The Republican obstructionists won't let him wear a belt.

[crickets]

Is this thing on?

Posted by: FireHorse at September 12, 2011 01:03 PM (F5OMl)

288 I killed it.  Sorry.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Tea Partying Sons of Bitches Martyrs Brigade at September 12, 2011 01:10 PM (4q5tP)

289

These are almost all "clappers" -- "jokes" whose main appeal is not funniness, but simply the pithy expression of what the audience thinks. Such jokes don't get laughs; they get claps of approval. Not chuckles, but nods of assent.

What's encouraging is that these are very similar to the jokes that would get told about Bush during his administration... not funny, but simply confirming for the audience that they are on the right side of opinion.   Right-thinking people (read: liberals and, more importantly, independents who simply want to belong to the right side) thought Bush was stupid, so Bush-is-stupid jokes got nods of approval and claps, signifying that the audience members were the cool kids.   Nowadays, Obama-is-incompetent or Obama-is-a-blowhard jokes get the same kind of confirming nods and claps, but the key thing is that they are coming from the same people, including those same independents who don't really know what they think but know that they want to fit in with what the cool kids think.

 

Posted by: The Regular Guy at September 12, 2011 01:42 PM (qHCyt)

290 Stop me if you heard this one before. 52% of Americans elect a completely unqualified, demagogue, empty suit SCOAMF president...

Posted by: runningrn at September 12, 2011 01:49 PM (0fUOB)

291 What does a disgraced, repudiated, and defeated Messiah do after he gets booted from Office? Disney World?

Don't worry.  Barky already has something lined up...

Posted by: Foole In The Rain at September 12, 2011 01:50 PM (BkQvr)

292 The President walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We have a drink here named after you." The President says, "Obama?"

The bartender says, "No, it's called the SCOAMF."

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at September 12, 2011 02:22 PM (HtUdo)

293 You know Obama is in trouble when liberal comedians are no longer afraid of making fun of him for fear of being called racist.

Posted by: hadsil at September 12, 2011 02:25 PM (HlBcl)

294 Rush has mentioned a few times that Carson never made fun of something until he was sure the greater public already thought it was a joke. I think that's what is going on with today's "edgy" late night comedians. They don't want to clown on the SCOAMF, but they have no choice now. When you've lost Conan and Letterman, you've lost America. Leno, I think, is a closet Republican.

Posted by: Holygoat at September 12, 2011 02:33 PM (XnwWl)

295

On this clapper stuff--as in it isn't really funny, but it's appropriate?---I'd clap if I saw a mangy mutt lifting his leg and peeing on the  perfect crease in Obama's trousers.

 

Why a thrill would run right up my leg when I saw that.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at September 12, 2011 03:02 PM (3ESDJ)

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Posted by: My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business AudioBook at September 12, 2011 05:24 PM (3Qi/d)

297 Fallon: President Obama's $447-billion spending plan is called the American Jobs Act. It would have had a cooler name, but the name guy was laid off six months ago.

THIS (in stark contrast to the others) is a bonafide, good joke. It contains the proper elements.


Posted by: mike bell at September 12, 2011 10:14 PM (iDs7d)

Posted by: christine at September 13, 2011 12:56 AM (UE+Pv)

299 Nuts.  Every single one of the jokes was hilarious.  Reading them made me sorry I don't get TV.  I was laughing out loud at the put downs.  Too good!

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Posted by: christine at September 13, 2011 08:48 PM (RkJ5/)

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