Ace of Spades HQ

May 25, 2011

Who Did This?!!
— Ace

I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.

Which of you did this?

Look, you can use a pseudonym (like me turning out the lights and asking for my watch back), but I need to know: Who's responsible here?

Posted by: Ace at 10:15 AM | Comments (285)
Post contains 43 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Good grief, at least buy the $2 nappy blanket to cover yourself in the act.

Posted by: logprof at May 25, 2011 10:17 AM (BP6Z1)

2 Was he humming the Air Force Anthem at the time?

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:17 AM (Di3Im)

I was releasing my second chakra for the lady next to me. She said her sandwich was dry so I was helping her out with my MAN-naise.

Posted by: Al Gore at May 25, 2011 10:18 AM (UciSl)

4 I'm amazed that the max penalty is a tiny fine and 90 days in jail.

Wow.

Posted by: Dustin at May 25, 2011 10:18 AM (Q3nWV)

5 Oh wait, I got that from the MSM. It's probably wrong.

Posted by: Dustin at May 25, 2011 10:19 AM (Q3nWV)

Wonder if this Kyle guy is going to get the nickname "Fozzie"?

"Whacka whacka whacka!"

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:19 AM (Di3Im)

7 There's nothing like being in a crowded plane of smelly people and lavatory air freshener to get you in the mood.

Posted by: Ms Choksondik at May 25, 2011 10:19 AM (UciSl)

8 It's almost worth it. It's like they're telling you to do it. Let me see, I can watch "The Ugly Truth" for $6 or I can wack off for free. Hmmmmm....

Posted by: ace at May 25, 2011 10:19 AM (nj1bB)

9 Some take the free carry-on idea too far. He clearly needs to check it next time.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at May 25, 2011 10:20 AM (FnRYN)

10 I'm amazed that the max penalty is a tiny fine and 90 days in jail.

Wow.

Posted by: Dustin at May 25, 2011 02:18 PM (Q3nWV)

So the fine is assessed the same way gold chain is sold -- by the inch?

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:20 AM (Di3Im)

11 Please return your penis to the fully flaccid position before landing.

Posted by: EC at May 25, 2011 10:20 AM (GQ8sn)

12 Does this qualify him for the mile high club ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at May 25, 2011 10:20 AM (npr0X)

13 As detailed by Daniel, an 18-year-old woman told investigators that she was seated in row 18 next to Pearce, who was in an aisle seat. Â“I sat next to a man on a plane who was masterbating [sic]. I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis,Â” the teenager recalled in a written statement. She added, Â“He ejaculated & got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time.Â”

"I was outraged and after 15 minutes, I thought about telling him to stop."

Posted by: AmishDude at May 25, 2011 10:21 AM (T0NGe)

14 Ok, I admit it. My name is Kyle, I like Fosters beer, douchebag hipster clothes, and TIRING OUT MY SNAKE ON THIS FUCKING PLANE.

Posted by: Kyle at May 25, 2011 10:21 AM (ldUCK)

15 Old

Posted by: davisbr at May 25, 2011 10:22 AM (uCShA)

16 This is what the airlines get for charging for checked luggage.

He had no choice but bring it as a carry-on.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 25, 2011 10:22 AM (T0NGe)

I call bullshit.

PearceÂ’s MySpace page describes him as a junior college student who has been a bull rider for eight years.

Right, like any college student has a MySpace page.

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:22 AM (Di3Im)

18 >>>"I was outraged and after 15 minutes, I thought about telling him to stop." 15 minutes? I call bullshit.

Posted by: Damiano at May 25, 2011 10:22 AM (3nrx7)

19 Wait a second! When did jerking it on a plane become illegal?

Posted by: mugiwara at May 25, 2011 10:22 AM (dAQ6t)

20 I didn't do it. This time.

Posted by: objectionsustained at May 25, 2011 10:23 AM (ZYVkS)

21 I'm sick and tired of these motherfucking (trouser) snakes on this motherfucking plane!

Posted by: Samuel L (F'ing) Jackson at May 25, 2011 10:23 AM (9hSKh)

22 That's why I always get some "help" before a flight.

Posted by: Dominique Strauss Kahn at May 25, 2011 10:23 AM (bwV72)

23 It's okay! I'm with the IMF!

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 10:23 AM (OeeQo)

24 Maybe I DO need to let the TSA grope me. It seems it can be quite stimulating.

Now we are calling out the FBI for fapping cases? What's next, pudding dipping?

Yeah, probably.

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 25, 2011 10:23 AM (ENKCw)

25 Seems Allahpundit wanted to become part of the mile-high club.

Posted by: Flapjackmaka at May 25, 2011 10:23 AM (u8JAM)

26 that's so sad, there was no one on board interested in joining the mile high club or is there a rule about two in the laboratory?

If you have a chance, watch this video, discussing Roger doger and Beck and fox news in general. The only show worth watching on MSNBC is morning joe and now that he has gotten control of the dumb blond that share the spotlight with him, Joe looks as though he's heading for more interesting stuff. In fact, lately joe looks like he's auditioning for fox. link (scroll down the video is on the left about 3/4 way down)

Posted by: curious at May 25, 2011 10:23 AM (k1rwm)

27 It's Dave in Texas. Or Monty. One of those two, for sure. OK, kinda sorta sounds like something Warden would do. Lots of suspects, that's for sure.

Posted by: Fred at May 25, 2011 10:24 AM (xWGQr)

28 Cum fly the friendly skies.

Posted by: Jet Blew at May 25, 2011 10:24 AM (OeeQo)

29 From the comments over there....punishment could include up to one year of supervised release :-)

Posted by: MostlyRight at May 25, 2011 10:24 AM (gjRqD)

30 7 There's nothing like being in a crowded plane of smelly people and lavatory air freshener to get you in the mood.

Posted by: Ms Choksondik at May 25, 2011 02:19 PM (UciSl)

Sky West Magazine had a tasty centerfold.

Posted by: logprof at May 25, 2011 10:24 AM (BP6Z1)

31 who hasn't done this?

Posted by: X at May 25, 2011 10:25 AM (mr695)

32 The woman reported that Pearce was wearing jeans tucked into cowboy boots, introduced himself as Kyle, and said he was connecting on to Orlando, Florida. PearceÂ’s MySpace page describes him as a junior college student who has been a bull rider for eight years.

That's DaveinTexas!

I would never do this. You can't smoke on planes anymore. What are you supposed to do afterwards? Cuddle?

Posted by: Rocks at May 25, 2011 10:25 AM (Q1lie)

33 For the record, he is NOT one of ours.

Posted by: A.Bull.Riding.Organization at May 25, 2011 10:25 AM (gQLr2)

34 Please return your penis to the fully flaccid position before landing.

Posted by: EC at May 25, 2011 02:20 PM (GQ8sn)

Maybe he had it in the upright and locked position for takeoff and couldn't get it unlocked any other way. (Although Spokane to Denver isn't more than four hours, so he could have safely waited until the men's room at Denver International.

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:25 AM (Di3Im)

35 I was about to say that the last trip I was on was to Denver, which is true, but then read the story and decided against it.

But I was on American, unfortunately, flying out of Dallas.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 25, 2011 10:25 AM (UK9cE)

36 I just want you to know that we are working on this. We have to go through a few processes, but under the radar...

Posted by: Prezident Killah B. at May 25, 2011 10:26 AM (3Okgs)

37 Masterbatin' Pete?

Posted by: toby928™ at May 25, 2011 10:26 AM (GTbGH)

38 For the record, he is NOT one of ours.

Posted by: A.Bull.Riding.Organization at May 25, 2011 02:25 PM (gQLr2)

He's probably part of a criminal ring selling faux champion bull semen. He just needed to make some extra merchandise.

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:26 AM (Di3Im)

39 First they charged for checked luggage, and I said nothing...

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 10:27 AM (OeeQo)

40 He isn't an AoSHQ Moron, if he was he would've nutted _on_ her.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 25, 2011 10:27 AM (PNjl1)

41 Joan, the transgender sock - fap, fap, fap. By the way, what's in that can of Foster's?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 25, 2011 10:27 AM (UlUS4)

42 I'm wearing you.

Posted by: N843UA at May 25, 2011 10:27 AM (Rq1/g)

43 $25 to check a bag? You bet I'm going to leave a little Dominique Straus-Kahn on the back of the seat.

Posted by: MJ at May 25, 2011 10:27 AM (BKOsZ)

44 Also, who wants to gamble and fly United and possibly get the seat with the "blessing" all over it?

Posted by: EC at May 25, 2011 10:28 AM (GQ8sn)

that's so sad, there was no one on board interested in joining the mile high club or is there a rule about two in the laboratory?

Your chemistry teachers must have yelled at you a lot.

Posted by: buzzion at May 25, 2011 10:28 AM (oVQFe)

46 I doubt he comes on here (no pun intended). He looks like "The Situation".

Posted by: yinzer at May 25, 2011 10:28 AM (/Mla1)

47 Who HASN'T done that?

Posted by: DSK at May 25, 2011 10:28 AM (UK9cE)

48 Great new anti-terror strategy. That is definately going to be my tactic if my plane is ever hijacked. Just get a bunch of dudes to pound and girls to diddle and those goatfuckers will be all freaked out.

Posted by: swamp_yankee at May 25, 2011 10:28 AM (hInJ6)

49 Wait a second! When did jerking it on a plane become illegal?

Posted by: mugiwara at May 25, 2011 02:22 PM (dAQ6t)

On my face I wear a silly smirk
'Cause you know I'm the king of the Cool Jerk

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:28 AM (Di3Im)

50 You ever see the models in that Sky Mall magazine??

I mean, it's almost entrapment!!

Posted by: Kyle Pearce at May 25, 2011 10:29 AM (3Okgs)

51 The TSA have offered him a job already.

Posted by: Roy at May 25, 2011 10:29 AM (bm4vI)

52 He was just confused and looking for the bathroom. He's only been on a plane three times before in his life.

Wait? The guy is white? Nevermind.

Posted by: CAIR at May 25, 2011 10:29 AM (2p0e3)

It's not me. I've never been caught. So. There.

Posted by: joejm65 at May 25, 2011 10:29 AM (BDB5n)

54 PearceÂ’s MySpace page describes him as a junior college student who has been a bull rider for eight years.

And by bull rider he really means he fucks cows.

Posted by: Rocks at May 25, 2011 10:29 AM (Q1lie)

55 >>>I'm wearing you. what is that from? damn tip of the tongue.

Posted by: ace at May 25, 2011 10:30 AM (nj1bB)

56 oh, assange! Damn.

Posted by: ace at May 25, 2011 10:30 AM (nj1bB)

57 This is morally corrupt, disgusting, and sinful!

Posted by: Christine O'Donnell at May 25, 2011 10:30 AM (3nrx7)

58 Hope they don't ban it while blogging.

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 10:30 AM (OeeQo)

59 hah on CAIR.

Posted by: ace at May 25, 2011 10:30 AM (nj1bB)

60 What a rookie. The barf bag doubles as a cum catcher.

Posted by: MJ at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM (BKOsZ)

61 Sometimes when you smile.....someone may see you smile and smile with you.

Sometimes when you do a good deed.....someone may see you doing that good deed and may acknowledge you with an appreciative smile and a nod.

Sometimes when you work hard...someone notices your work and may give you a pat on the back.

...but every goddamn time you pull your johnson out in a crowded airplane and start to jack it off every fucking body sees you.

Send bail, please.

Posted by: beedubya at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM (AnTyA)

62 Maybe he was a terrorist and he's was attempting to light a pants bomb by rubbing a stick.

Posted by: Rocks at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM (Q1lie)

63 90 days?

Thanks a lot Bin Laden.

Posted by: Alan at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM (EjkX1)

64 It wasn't me. I got grandkids and I'm trying to set an example.

Posted by: Peter Fonda at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM (Rq1/g)

65 He's a bull rider, oh well then that explains it, poor guy has sustained irreparable damage to his male member and has lost control and feeling. (the jury will be crying when I'm done with this one)

Posted by: the defense at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM (k1rwm)

66 Add that to the list of "Things I've never thought of trying to pick up chicks" and move on.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM (UK9cE)

67
Airport '11: The Jerkening

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM (QMtmy)

68 Maybe there was some turbulence, and he just thought the plane was spinning out of control on its way to crashing. That happened to my cousin Walter once....

Posted by: Brodie Bruce at May 25, 2011 10:32 AM (JourR)

69 what is that from? damn tip of the tongue.

Wikileaks douche?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at May 25, 2011 10:32 AM (0q2P7)

70
Maybe the in-flight movie involved gladiators?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 25, 2011 10:32 AM (QMtmy)

71 If the stupid bitch next to him had named her own price on priceline, none of this would have happened.

Posted by: William Shatner at May 25, 2011 10:32 AM (2p0e3)

72 FIFTEEN MINUTES?!?!? I THOUGHT SUPERMAN WOULD FLY HIMSELF!

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 10:32 AM (OeeQo)

73 Nobody masturbated on planes until 60 years ago, when pron became popular in the US.

Posted by: Ken, arbeiter of morality! at May 25, 2011 10:33 AM (9hSKh)

74 He should have bought the First Class ticket. We give out steaming towels up there.

Posted by: Flight Attendant at May 25, 2011 02:29 PM (Zs83Q)

Plus in First Class, they warm up your nuts. (Or is that only on American?)

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:33 AM (Di3Im)

75 Must have been a hell of an in flight movie.

Posted by: polynikes - Romney supporter at May 25, 2011 10:33 AM (T8iAI)

76 "Thanks a lot Bin Laden!!!"

Posted by: Baxter Greene at May 25, 2011 10:33 AM (i3vbE)

77
"I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis.Â”

Well, there you go. A noisy penis will give you up, every time.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 25, 2011 10:33 AM (uFokq)

78 Welcome to every male's life from age 14-25.

Posted by: Just.Saying at May 25, 2011 10:33 AM (gQLr2)

79 Jared Loughner isn't standing trial. He is mentally incompetent. I blame Sarah Palin and the Tea party

Posted by: Paul Krugman at May 25, 2011 10:33 AM (u8JAM)

80 If the stupid bitch next to him had named her own price on priceline, none of this would have happened.

Posted by: William Shatner at May 25, 2011 02:32 PM (2p0e3)

She DID. Priceline doesn't let you specify a no-fapping seat.

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 10:33 AM (Di3Im)

81 He was just cleaning out the build up from his pitot tube

Posted by: Air France Flight 447 at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (2p0e3)

82 was this a gang initiation thing? or a fraternity dare?

Posted by: curious at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (k1rwm)

83 Wasn't Dave in Texas . He wouldn't have lasted that long .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (npr0X)

84 nickless, awesome.

Posted by: ace at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (nj1bB)

Come on, y'all.

He just really, really, really likes airplanes.

Kinda like that girl who does bows...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (d0Tfm)

86 He's a bull rider, oh well then that explains it, poor guy has sustained irreparable damage to his male member and has lost control and feeling. (the jury will be crying when I'm done with this one)

Posted by: the defense at May 25, 2011 02:31 PM (k1rwm)

Stick with the Belushi defense. It never fails.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (UK9cE)

87 FIFTEEN MINUTES?!?!? I THOUGHT SUPERMAN WOULD FLY HIMSELF!

That's a whole different kind of flying alltogether.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (QMtmy)

88 Oh, come on, why do you think we invented the damn thing anyway?

Posted by: Wilbur and Orville Wright at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (OeeQo)

89 @34: Yes, there was a hijacking in progress...

Posted by: The Peanut Gallery at May 25, 2011 10:34 AM (Y5I9o)

90 Have they checked whether he was trying to detonate something? Other than the obvious, that is?

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 25, 2011 10:35 AM (Gzv/o)

91 78 Must have been a hell of an in flight movie. Posted by: polynikes - Romney supporter at May 25, 2011 02:33 PM (T8iAI) "Stewardesses in 3-D"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 25, 2011 10:35 AM (UlUS4)

92 Masturbation is a serious problem facing this country. I stand before you on this United flight today with stiffened spine to tell you that as your president, I will make the hard choices on masturbation before the costs rob our country blind.

Posted by: Christine O'Pawlenty at May 25, 2011 10:35 AM (FYCiJ)

93 The worse part was the squeaking noise. 15 minutes of squeaking. I couldn't take it. I tapped his sholder to offer him some hand lotion but he freaked and ran to the bathroom.

Posted by: Guy in the row behind him at May 25, 2011 10:35 AM (Q1lie)

94 He obviously has a very vivid imagination. He should try his hand at creative writing or start blogging before blindness overcomes his native abilities.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 25, 2011 10:35 AM (HBqDo)

95
Â“He ejaculated & got some on the seat."

okay.

"Then he went to the bathroom for a long time.Â”

To cuddle with himself. Perfectly normal.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 25, 2011 10:35 AM (uFokq)

96 "From the comments over there....punishment could include up to one year of supervised release :-) Posted by: MostlyRight"

Bwahahahahahahaa

And I formally request more Snakes on a Plane references.

Posted by: Dustin at May 25, 2011 10:35 AM (Q3nWV)

97 This would have been okay if he was wearing a condom.

Posted by: Typical Libtard at May 25, 2011 10:36 AM (BP6Z1)

98 I'm gonna choke this mutha fuckin snake on this mutha fuckin plane!

Posted by: Samuel JACKson at May 25, 2011 10:36 AM (/Mla1)

99 When a man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiams, enthusiasms... What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Masturbation. A man sits next to a hot piece of barely legal ass on a plane. This is the time for what? For Individual Achievement.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 25, 2011 10:36 AM (W7Ddq)

100 I don't really b;ame him. I mean the TSA security agents already get you partway there by feeling you up, might as well finish the job

Posted by: Jollyroger at May 25, 2011 10:36 AM (NCw5u)

101

This kid is hating facebook, the internet and social media so much right now.

Posted by: swamp_yankee at May 25, 2011 10:36 AM (hInJ6)

102 Wait!

Did he get to the happy ending in the seat...or did he paint the restroom? There is conflicting info in the story.

Posted by: beedubya at May 25, 2011 10:37 AM (AnTyA)

103 If ever a post called for "Did It In a Minute".

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 25, 2011 10:37 AM (jPPat)

104 First they came for the masturbaters, and I said nothing...

Posted by: EC at May 25, 2011 10:37 AM (GQ8sn)

105 He obviously has a very vivid imagination. He should try his hand at creative writing or start blogging before blindness overcomes his native abilities.

Posted by: ontherocks

He'd best be careful, or he'll be as hairy as an ewok.

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 25, 2011 10:37 AM (Gzv/o)

106 Dear Penthouse:
I thought all these stories were made up. Then I was on a plane out to Washington next to this hot chick and couldn't help myself. I started a test flight with my own equipment. To my surprise she said nothing and started to watch me work my control stick...

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at May 25, 2011 10:37 AM (0q2P7)

107 Joycelyn Elders for head of the FAA!

Posted by: Wilbur and Orville Wright at May 25, 2011 10:37 AM (OeeQo)

108
So the airlines are banning penis and peanuts?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (QMtmy)

109 I understand why he went to the bathroom for a long time after. Shooting your wad causes an immediate change of perspective that makes something that seemed like a good idea into something to be embarrassed about. He was probably back there hiding and saying over and over again "I can't believe I just did that".

Posted by: nate at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (4nxhP)

110 Okay ace, it was me. Just don't tell anybody, okay?

Posted by: Absolutely Not joncelli at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (RD7QR)

111 "Court records do not include the name of PearceÂ’s attorney." Geez, even the lawyer is embarrassed. When even the perp's lawyer is ashamed to be associated with the perp, you know the guy is really scum.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (j/5DA)

112 I was going to say, smart money was on Empire of Jeff, but I noticed this guys name wasn't Jeff.

Posted by: Jollyroger at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (NCw5u)

113

Orlando... A strange cross between megachurches and megawankers. He's probably a neighbor.

Posted by: Beagle at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (sOtz/)

114 "Then he went to the bathroom for a long time.Â” Gotta make sure to shave your palms afterwards. It's tricky work, getting in between your fingers and all.

Posted by: Christine O'Donnell at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (3nrx7)

115 His defense should be 'the TSA pat-down aroused me, but they wouldn't finish the job, so I had to'. I mean, why not? What's he got to lose? He's already been publicly outed as a mile-high fapper. It's not like he can do anything else to make the situation worse for himself. Blame the TSA. Sue them, too. Again, why not?

Posted by: joejm65 at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (BDB5n)

116 Can't blame Kyle for missing his bull. But fantasizing about it inflight to the point of ejaculation is a little extreme.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (mHQ7T)

117 I would not do it on a plane,
I would not do it on a train,
Nor would I do it in the rain.

I would not do it in a jet,
I haven't even started yet.

I would not do it with a friend,
Not with Peter, Paul or their room mate Ken,
I do not care if you complain,
I would not do it with the Ace of Spades.

Posted by: Jack at May 25, 2011 10:38 AM (kCT7A)

118 Florida..hahahaha...MySpace...hahahahaha... bull rider..hahahahahahaa

Posted by: Chellita at May 25, 2011 10:39 AM (+vyxE)

119 The least he could have done is kept his tray down.

Posted by: Socratease at May 25, 2011 10:39 AM (vaIln)

120 The whole damn plane is his cockpit.

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 10:39 AM (OeeQo)

121 Let me be clear, if you like your brand of hand lotion, you can keep your brand of hand lotion.

Posted by: El JEFé at May 25, 2011 10:39 AM (/Mla1)

122 The guy violates me in public and all you can talk about is who SAW it??

Posted by: the dude's raped right hand at May 25, 2011 10:39 AM (XF91n)

123 We have strict rules about bringing liquids aboard airliners. No. Exceptions.

Posted by: TSA, your last best grope for safe skies at May 25, 2011 10:39 AM (GBXon)

124 I am Spurtacus!

Posted by: Cerebral Paul Z. at May 25, 2011 10:40 AM (cQhQZ)

125 He got turned on watching the guy shit on the drinks cart.

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 10:40 AM (OeeQo)

126
It was really Ace who did that.

He who smelt it, dealt it.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 25, 2011 10:40 AM (QMtmy)

127 He's already been publicly outed as a mile-high fapper.

Do you get a solo signoff and pin for that one?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at May 25, 2011 10:40 AM (0q2P7)

128 Right, like any college student has a MySpace page.

Bull rider, cow college, you do the math.

Posted by: Bob Saget talking shit about Total at May 25, 2011 10:40 AM (F/4zf)

129 "Does this qualify him for the mile high club ?" Yeah, right. The mile high club for guys who can't manage to get an actual woman to do it with them. Guess we should be thankful he didn't bring a blow up doll.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 25, 2011 10:40 AM (j/5DA)

130 Has anyone seen Kyle Pearce and ace together? Mystery solved.

Posted by: Zombie Perry Mason at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (BKOsZ)

131 Good Lord ! Its becoming a trend http://tinyurl.com/32qkljq

Posted by: cdajoe at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (Y/1Xk)

132 I can feel it coming in the air tonight....

Posted by: Phil.Collins at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (gQLr2)

133
You arrogant Americans. You ignoramuses. You have once again embarrassed yourselves in front of the world.

How dare you prosecute this good man. He represents the hope of millions of French people. You stupid Americans should be so lucky to have this wonderful man ejaculate on your daughters.

Posted by: Pierre Le Frog at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (uFokq)

134 You're doing it wrong, young man.

Posted by: Larry Craig at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (3Okgs)

135 He should have joined TSA. He could be doing this to other people, and get paid for it.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (T0MgD)

136 Not me. Who tucks their britches into their boots ?

Posted by: the Charlie Daniels of the torque wrench at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (le5qc)

137 It couldn't have been a Moron. There was no mention of a pudding cup.

Posted by: rabidsquirrel at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (RuF8n)

138 If this guy does time and Kahn walks, there is no justice in this world.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM (0q2P7)

139 Look at the pic. Foster's Lager. Says it all.

Posted by: De' Debil Hisself at May 25, 2011 10:42 AM (H+LJc)

140 It's illegal to take care of your business on a plane?

I guess the terrorists have won, after all!

Posted by: pbrown at May 25, 2011 10:42 AM (vUpp0)

141 Here's betting that happy hands knows what year it is. Does that put things into perspective?

Posted by: Sub-tard at May 25, 2011 10:42 AM (Q5+Og)

142 Sorry, I was thinking about Laura Ingraham and...and I just couldn't stop myself.

Posted by: Ed Schultz at May 25, 2011 10:42 AM (GvSpB)

143 Mommas don't let your babies grow up to be masturbating cowboys.

Posted by: polynikes - Romney supporter at May 25, 2011 10:42 AM (T8iAI)

144 If this guy does time and Kahn walks, there is no justice in this world.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose

He already did; about 15 minutes. Says so in the article.

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 25, 2011 10:42 AM (Gzv/o)

145 And hearing that, "some got on the seat" makes me glad that I'm not flying in the near future. And now I'm going to have nightmares about sitting in the seats at the movie theater. Thanks a lot, Pearce, you selfish asshole.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 25, 2011 10:42 AM (j/5DA)

146 Undead: which is worse, a candidate who says negative things about masturbation and has never tried to enact laws against it, or a candidate who never missed an opportunity to make unconstitutional gun control laws, or for that matter, unconstitutional "campaign finance" laws against the First Amendment? That election was never about O'Donnell. It was about Castle.

Posted by: Ken at May 25, 2011 10:42 AM (dvQqE)

147 85 was this a gang initiation thing? or a fraternity dare?

Posted by: curious at May 25, 2011 02:34 PM (k1rwm)

In gang initiations, they don't beat themselves.

Posted by: NC Ref at May 25, 2011 10:43 AM (/izg2)

148

I THOUGHT SUPERMAN WOULD FLY HIMSELF!

Hands forward, for aerodynamic purposes.

(Besides, it's gotta land somewhere if I'm outside. Think about it. little men of steel, terminal velocity. I haven't done that since Belgrade back in '99.)

Posted by: Kal-El at May 25, 2011 10:43 AM (Rq1/g)

149 130He's already been publicly outed as a mile-high fapper.

Do you get a solo signoff and pin for that one?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at May 25, 2011 02:40 PM (0q2P7)

Nope. Frequent Fapper Miles.

Posted by: joejm65 at May 25, 2011 10:43 AM (BDB5n)

150 "I was so offended! I watched for 15 minutes!" The only thing that offended this girl was the fact that he wasn't looking at her while he spanked it.

Posted by: Damiano at May 25, 2011 10:43 AM (3nrx7)

151 He was probably back there hiding and saying over and over again "I can't believe I just did that".

Posted by: nate at May 25, 2011 02:38 PM (4nxhP)

Sorry man, but I'm REALLY doubting that.

If anything, he was sitting back there saying "I can't believe she didn't start blowing me right there!"

Posted by: © Sponge at May 25, 2011 10:44 AM (UK9cE)

152

I can't get over the fact he masturbated, and THEN went to the bathroom. Missed it by THIS [fingers close together] much.

Posted by: Beagle at May 25, 2011 10:44 AM (sOtz/)

153 In Soviet Russia, plane cums on you!

Posted by: Jackoff.Smirnoff at May 25, 2011 10:44 AM (gQLr2)

154 The girl next to me was bitching that she didn't get any free penis like they used to hand out on flights. Then she complains when I offer to give her mine. Women- you just can't please them.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 25, 2011 10:44 AM (ZQBUz)

155 47 that's so sad, there was no one on board interested in joining the mile high club or is there a rule about two in the laboratory?

Your chemistry teachers must have yelled at you a lot. Posted by: buzzion at May 25, 2011 02:28 PM (oVQFe)

HAHAHA ...thread winnah!

Posted by: davisbr at May 25, 2011 10:45 AM (uCShA)

156

"Out the right side of the plane, you can see Pike's Peak and to the left you can see a peeking spike."

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 25, 2011 10:45 AM (B+qrE)

157 They were test screening Sarah Palin's movie? Man her fans are getting out of hand.

Posted by: Rocks ( in confrontational bastard mode) at May 25, 2011 10:46 AM (Q1lie)

158 145: I actually do think a lot of the left-wing hatred of conservative women is due to men like Ed Schultz who could always score with leftist women who were aesthetically and hygienically subpar, but who see beautiful conservative women who wouldn't have sex with them if their lives depended on it. In their minds, conservative women are uptight bitches who won't put out, and who need to get "taught a lesson."

Posted by: Ken at May 25, 2011 10:46 AM (dvQqE)

159 Threatening an aircrew member with a protruding body part is a federal crime.

Posted by: Cicero at May 25, 2011 10:46 AM (QKKT0)

160

Masturbation? What's that?

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at May 25, 2011 10:47 AM (O2mn8)

161 Wasn't me. I never get caught.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 25, 2011 10:47 AM (TMB3S)

162

"Out the right side of the plane, you can see Pike's Peak and to the left you can see a peeking spike."

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here)

And out the righthand side of the plane you can see Mt. Hood, while on the left you can see a hooded........

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 25, 2011 10:47 AM (Gzv/o)

163 I'm not saying what he did was right. All I'm saying is don't be confiscatin' a playa's liquids at security and nobody'll have to whip up a batch in flight, dig?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 25, 2011 10:47 AM (W7Ddq)

164

Posted by: Ken at May 25, 2011 02:42 PM (dvQqE)

Congratulations, Ken. You have discovered an entirely new dimension of humorlessness.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead Kens at May 25, 2011 10:47 AM (FYCiJ)

165 Funny that none of his seat-mates thought to alert one of the flight attendants.

Posted by: Sassy at May 25, 2011 10:47 AM (KWUy3)

166 So he was allowed to bring a loaded pecker snot bomb on the plane?

Posted by: IE Con at May 25, 2011 10:48 AM (/COcn)

167 You live your life between your legs, Mav.

Posted by: Goose at May 25, 2011 10:48 AM (3Okgs)

168 When air traffic security doesn't finish what they started, what's a guy to do?

Posted by: Stateless Canadian Infidel at May 25, 2011 10:48 AM (GKQDR)

169 I won't lie. It was me.

Posted by: Rosie "Beatbox" McWhipperson at May 25, 2011 10:48 AM (FMUMi)

170 If I was 25 again with a working dick, I'might try it. The ol' popcorn container with a hole in the bottom worked at the movies.

Posted by: trainer at May 25, 2011 10:49 AM (Rojyk)

171

Every time I see a messed up headline, I think to myself, "please don't be Florida, please don't be Florida..."

and then I see that it has something to do with Florida.

Fuck.

Posted by: Floridian Moron at May 25, 2011 10:49 AM (mS1ai)

172 ... a year of supervised release.

Who says crime doesn't pay.

Posted by: Grandpa Munster at May 25, 2011 10:49 AM (xuoy+)

173

And just a couple of days ago some of you were worried about the unity of the Moron Horde^tm.

A simple penis story heals all wounds. So to speak.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 25, 2011 10:49 AM (B+qrE)

174 171 So he was allowed to bring a loaded pecker snot bomb on the plane?

If only TSA had frisked him prior to the flight...

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 25, 2011 10:49 AM (9hSKh)

175 This isn't so bad. I mean, hell, I could've ended up as one of his kids.

Posted by: Spermatozoa.Drying.Underneath.The.Seat.In.Front.Of.You at May 25, 2011 10:50 AM (gQLr2)

176 Congratulations, Ken. You have discovered an entirely new dimension of humorlessness. Yeah. It's the one that contains your posts.

Posted by: Ken at May 25, 2011 10:52 AM (dvQqE)

177 Aren't you glad Nancy Pelosi doesn't fly commercial???

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 10:52 AM (OeeQo)

178 What's wrong with it? I mean, he was just expressing his right to free speech!!!

Fucking asshole right wing retards.........

Posted by: UC Berkley Suma Cum Loudy at May 25, 2011 10:52 AM (UK9cE)

179 I feel the need.......

Posted by: Maverick at May 25, 2011 10:52 AM (3Okgs)

180 I heard on Air France you can smoke and masturbate.

Posted by: Jean at May 25, 2011 10:52 AM (WkuV6)

181 175: I hope you weren't sharing the popcorn.

Posted by: Ken at May 25, 2011 10:53 AM (dvQqE)

182 Congratulations, Ken. You have discovered an entirely new dimension of humorlessness.

Yeah. It's the one that contains your posts.

Posted by: Ken at May 25, 2011 02:52 PM (dvQqE)

Do not make me stop this car.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 25, 2011 10:53 AM (B+qrE)

183 So was his flight classified as being on instruments or IFR (I Fap Randomly)?

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 25, 2011 10:53 AM (Gzv/o)

184 Why can't it ever be hot 18 year old women caught masturbating.

Posted by: Stateless Canadian Infidel at May 25, 2011 10:53 AM (GKQDR)

185 If he'd just shouted Allah Akbar when the spooge spewed we'd never heard about this.

Posted by: IE Con at May 25, 2011 10:54 AM (/COcn)

186 Stewardess, please don't mind my son. He's been holding this in since 1960.

Posted by: Ken's Mom in the Adjoining Seat at May 25, 2011 10:54 AM (FYCiJ)

187 Yeah. It's the one that contains your posts.

Posted by: Ken at May 25, 2011 02:52 PM (dvQqE)

Bah dum......TISHHHHH!!!!!

He's here all week, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress for the 2 drink minimum.....

Posted by: © Sponge at May 25, 2011 10:54 AM (UK9cE)

188 When the stewardess said put my tray in an upright position, I could've sworn she said put your penis in a straight and upright positon. I didn't want to get in trouble. So I did what she said.

Sue me.

Oh wait. You are.

Posted by: Airplane Masturbation Gauy at May 25, 2011 10:54 AM (usXZy)

189 Ok...just how much money did his dick owe him?

Posted by: beedubya at May 25, 2011 10:54 AM (AnTyA)

190 I heard on Air France you can smoke and masturbate.

On Air Frahn-say you can smoke, masturbate, and rape!

Posted by: DSK at May 25, 2011 10:54 AM (tqwMN)

191

Do not make me stop this car.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here)

Calm down and keep your one hand on the wheel. We don't want to know what the other hand is doing.

Posted by: Blue Hen at May 25, 2011 10:54 AM (Gzv/o)

192 Aren't you glad Nancy Pelosi doesn't fly commercial???

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 02:52 PM (OeeQo)

D-I-S-T-U-R-B-I-N-G

Also, cool hash.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 25, 2011 10:54 AM (B+qrE)

193 Geez, poor guy goes on an airplane, has a stroke, and all you people can do is mock him.

Posted by: Doofus at May 25, 2011 10:55 AM (YEelc)

194

.... I heard a noise.

Not me, I'm silent.

Posted by: mark x at May 25, 2011 10:55 AM (plLN9)

195 "Democrats in the U.S. Senate plan a 5 p.m. (2100 GMT) vote on Wednesday to force their Republican opponents to take a stand on a budget plan that would scale back the Medicare health program for future retirees."

Posted by: curious at May 25, 2011 10:55 AM (k1rwm)

196 A mis-da-wiener?

Posted by: wrg50 at May 25, 2011 10:55 AM (mB2ub)

197 I was pleasantly surprised to find Kyle didn't have a mullet. He had that recruit shaved head thing that is so popular with the kids. Don't ask me why they like wearing a PI welcome aboard haircut.

Posted by: Sub-tard at May 25, 2011 10:55 AM (Q5+Og)

198 Kyle is obviously unclear on the Mile High Club membership requirements.

Posted by: Max Entropy at May 25, 2011 10:56 AM (lH6z9)

199 180 This isn't so bad. I mean, hell, I could've ended up as one of his kids.

He should have recycled his ejaculate!

/That's how I keep all my potential children.

Posted by: Chris-chan at May 25, 2011 10:56 AM (9hSKh)

200 Aaaaaand, thanks, curious. Have you met Ken?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 25, 2011 10:56 AM (B+qrE)

201 On Air Frahn-say you can smoke, masturbate, and rape!

Well, it has to be sophisticated rape.

Posted by: strict Air France rules at May 25, 2011 10:56 AM (jPPat)

202 Takes a little pressure off me...IYKWIMAIITYD

Posted by: The Chicken at May 25, 2011 10:57 AM (AnTyA)

203 There was a guy I knew in high school who would walk into businesses with a boom box and pick out a secretary or some woman and say that he was there to deliver a strip-o-gram. He wouldn't say who ordered the strip-o-gram, it was always anonymous. He would then play music and strip down to a g-string and dance for her. Problem was, he didn't work for any entertainment firm and he didn't know the women he was dancing for. He just...did it. For fun, I guess. He got away with it for a while, then he finally got caught. This airplane guy sounds like the same type of personality. And, I think his friends will revere him, because no one will ever out-do what he did on an airplane. He'll be drinking for free for a while....

Posted by: joejm65 at May 25, 2011 10:57 AM (BDB5n)

204 Penis??

*blink*

Masturbation?

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at May 25, 2011 10:57 AM (AnTyA)

205 Bill Maher's trotting out the whole 'I'm a bull rider' schtick again, I see...

Posted by: nickless at May 25, 2011 10:58 AM (OeeQo)

206 Kyle is obviously unclear on the Mile High Club membership requirements.

Posted by: Max Entropy

You mean that there isn't an entrance fee?

Posted by: Kyle is rereading the club rules at May 25, 2011 10:59 AM (Gzv/o)

207 209 There was a guy I knew in high school...

Uh huh. Don't be coy.

Posted by: EC at May 25, 2011 10:59 AM (GQ8sn)

208

...When the pilot turns on the "no fapping" light, please return your penis to it's fully upright but stowed position.

...A reminder that Federal regulation bans bukkake on all domestic flights.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 25, 2011 10:59 AM (Z05lF)

209
Savoir faire in the air.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 25, 2011 10:59 AM (QMtmy)

210 No means Yes!11!!11 Yes means anal!!1!!11!!!

Posted by: Delta Kappa Sigma at May 25, 2011 10:59 AM (le5qc)

211 I don't get the "turning out the lights and asking for my watch back" joke/reference.
Anyone want to help me out?

Posted by: nine c at May 25, 2011 11:00 AM (uz3hs)

212 The airlines are at fault. If they only served food again it would give men something to do besides masturbating.

Posted by: Defense Team at May 25, 2011 11:00 AM (TiURi)

213 "Why can't it ever be hot 18 year old women caught masturbating."

And getting some on the seat when she's finished...

Posted by: Kensington at May 25, 2011 11:00 AM (uaEZS)

214 Yes I did just share my DNA with your seat. And don't call me Shirley.

Posted by: Kyle Pearce at May 25, 2011 11:00 AM (/Mla1)

215 I swear, this must be what it's like to fuck a girl with Aspergers. "Ooohhh, yeah, baby. That feels so good. Do you like it when I do that?" ""Democrats in the U.S. Senate plan a 5 p.m. (2100 GMT) vote on Wednesday to force their Republican opponents to take a stand on a budget plan that would scale back the Medicare health program for future retirees." "What?"

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 25, 2011 11:00 AM (hlY6R)

216 Like I told my wife, when you start adding up those $5000 fines, you will find that my NetJets membership has been a pretty sound investment.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at May 25, 2011 11:00 AM (+lsX1)

217 He finished THEN went to the bathroom for 15 minutes? He went to smoke a joint.

Posted by: Rocks at May 25, 2011 11:01 AM (Q1lie)

218 213 209There was a guy I knew in high school...

Uh huh. Don't be coy.

Posted by: EC at May 25, 2011 02:59 PM (GQ8sn)

LOL!

Posted by: joejm65 at May 25, 2011 11:01 AM (BDB5n)

219

The airlines are at fault. If they only served food again it would give men something to do besides masturbating.

WHO TOLD YOU TO APPLY THE PALM?

Posted by: Jackie Chiles at May 25, 2011 11:02 AM (B+qrE)

220 One time...at flight school...

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 25, 2011 11:02 AM (Z05lF)

221 Give a new meaning to the term Sky Jack!

Posted by: Michelle's Runaway Truck Ramp at May 25, 2011 11:02 AM (zvnQe)

222

"So, how was your flight?"

"White knuckles the whole way..."

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 25, 2011 11:03 AM (Z05lF)

223

"So, how was your flight?"

"White knuckles the whole way..."

Posted by: Lincolntf

Well after the first 15 minutes anway.

Posted by: Kyle is rereading the club rules at May 25, 2011 11:03 AM (Gzv/o)

224 Just think, this thread followed the one on 'gun control'.

Go figure.

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 25, 2011 11:03 AM (ENKCw)

225 I swear, this must be what it's like to fuck a girl with Aspergers.

That's an ender....

Bartender!!!! New thread please!!!!!

Posted by: © Sponge at May 25, 2011 11:03 AM (UK9cE)

226 It was me. I was thinking about Mitt Romney, and I just couldn't help myself. The good news is that I finally found a use for all the unsold pages of my book "A Mormon In The White House Question Mark." Very absorbent.

When I was in the lavatory afterward, I shoved one of Dennis Prager's cigars up my keister.

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt at May 25, 2011 11:04 AM (uaEZS)

227 Wasn't me ... this time.

Posted by: Pee Wee Herman at May 25, 2011 11:04 AM (AbmsP)

228 This cannot be tolerated, how dare he fondle himself!! He's only to be fondled by the trained agents with the TSA!!!

I hope he wasn't whacking off to a picture of me ...

Posted by: Big Sis Napolitano at May 25, 2011 11:05 AM (vdfwz)

229 What, you're not supposed to do that on a flight?

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at May 25, 2011 11:06 AM (6IReR)

230 Hey, the liquid fit into a 3/8 ounce container. What's the probs?

Posted by: Matt at May 25, 2011 11:06 AM (1ha9G)

231 Stupid yob!! A bloke has to have a hit song before he wanks in public!

Posted by: George Michael at May 25, 2011 11:06 AM (vdfwz)

232 I hope he wasn't whacking off to a picture of me ...

Posted by: Big Sis Napolitano at May 25, 2011 03:05 PM (vdfwz)

This coming from someone that wears a mask when she masterbates......If YOU won't masterbate to you, what makes you think anyone ELSE will?!?

Posted by: © Sponge at May 25, 2011 11:06 AM (UK9cE)

233 The guy certainly made a big splash.

Posted by: Cherry π at May 25, 2011 11:06 AM (+sBB4)

234 I wonder what the 18 year old next to him looked like? I bet she was tasty.

She's lovely. And a darling figure... supple, pouting breasts... firm thighs...

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 25, 2011 11:06 AM (QMtmy)

235 No flights out of Texas?

Posted by: curious at May 25, 2011 11:07 AM (k1rwm)

236 Ace convinced us to give the place another chance. Things couldn't be as bad as yesterday....So we'll take antother lookie-loo. Hmm... slice of life, airplane ride.............oh Heavens to Betsy.

Posted by: Nutmeg state morons at May 25, 2011 11:07 AM (Gzv/o)

237 He'll be drinking for free for a while....

Posted by: joejm65 at May 25, 2011 02:57 PM (BDB5n)

No, he would be drinking for free if he did the 18 year-old.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 25, 2011 11:07 AM (T0MgD)

238 What, no you tube link?

Posted by: nine c at May 25, 2011 11:08 AM (uz3hs)

239 Was it hanging from his ear when he came back out of the bathroom? I thought so, just "cleaning the old pipes" was all. No harm, no foul.

Posted by: mikeyslaw at May 25, 2011 11:09 AM (QMGr1)

240 It's one thing to be easily amused but if this guy ever went to a strip joint he'd probably maim himself.
Prolly had one too many of the blue m&ms.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 25, 2011 11:10 AM (HBqDo)

241 I don't get the "turning out the lights and asking for my watch back" joke/reference.
Anyone want to help me out?

It's an old trick teachers would use to guilt a kid who stole something from them into giving it back.
1. Tell them you noticed it was gone, and you have ideas about who took it.
2. They expect you to be angry. Tell them you're not angry, you are *disappointed* ; that you had thought they were better than that. Apply shame to the act.
3. Give them opportunity of redemption by returning the stolen item.
4. "Turn out the lights" so no one can see who is doing the returning, so no one will know who did it.

Hopefully the little thief will feel shame and use the cover of darkness to undo it.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at May 25, 2011 11:10 AM (0q2P7)

242 sometimes those TSA pat downs can get arousing. whats a fellow to do?

Posted by: exceller at May 25, 2011 11:11 AM (jx2Td)

243 Kyle?

Red Rocket! Red Rocket! Red Rocket!!

Posted by: Eric Cartman at May 25, 2011 11:11 AM (vdfwz)

244

It's one thing to be easily amused but if this guy ever went to a strip joint he'd probably maim himself.

I did that on my birthday one year at the Doll House in Orlando.

It got better.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 25, 2011 11:12 AM (B+qrE)

245 Shame on him! I always put the blanket over my lap when I watch Obama on my i-Phone during the flight

Posted by: Chris Matthews at May 25, 2011 11:12 AM (vdfwz)

246 Kyle?

Red Rocket! Red Rocket! Red Rocket!!

Posted by: Eric Cartman at May 25, 2011 03:11 PM (vdfwz)

"Beating off? No, I was just choking the shit out of Kenny!"

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 11:13 AM (Di3Im)

247 Posted by: MikeTheMoose at May 25, 2011 03:10 PM (0q2P7)

Thanks.

Posted by: nine c at May 25, 2011 11:13 AM (uz3hs)

248 So, I got my guys to dismantle the GPS and bribe the security guard, and I get on the plane and you think I can just get the fuck out of this shitty country once and for all? Nooooooooooo. They gotta arrest me, all over again! Stupid Americans.

Posted by: DSK at May 25, 2011 11:13 AM (1ha9G)

249 Sorry, sir, all seats are non smoking. Have been for quite a while. But would you prefer splooging or non-splooging?

Posted by: Airline Reservation Agent at May 25, 2011 11:13 AM (XBM1t)

250
You could almost swap headlines with the concealed weapons post.....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 25, 2011 11:13 AM (7YzRS)

251

I did that on my birthday one year at the Doll House in Orlando.

It got better.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here)

Wait one. That's where "Kyle" was headed........

Posted by: Kyle and his onboard refreshments at May 25, 2011 11:14 AM (Gzv/o)

252 Beta male: "I was just moisturizing"

Posted by: Cherry π at May 25, 2011 11:15 AM (+sBB4)

253 Stupid American! Now he's just being laughed at by the entire world. Had he bent a stewardess over the beverage cart while shouting "do you know who I am", they'd be giving him a golden parachute on the taxpayer's dime.

Posted by: Dominique Strauss-Kahn at May 25, 2011 11:15 AM (vdfwz)

254 I spilled Tabasco.

Posted by: Cherry π at May 25, 2011 11:17 AM (+sBB4)

255 Why can't it ever be hot 18 year old women caught masturbating.

Because it would last for about 10 seconds before someone jumped up and said something like.

"Miss I couldn't help but notice you seem a little preoccupied, I was wondering if there was anything I could help you with? "

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at May 25, 2011 11:17 AM (0q2P7)

256 Two things will get a thread to 250+ comments in an hour; Sarah Palin or Masturbation

Posted by: kbdabear at May 25, 2011 11:17 AM (vdfwz)

257 What's wrong with it? I mean, he was just expressing his right to free speech!!!

Fucking asshole right wing retards.........

Posted by: UC Berkley Suma Cum Loudy at May 25, 2011 02:52 PM (UK9cE)

It... doesn't... speak.

Put down the bag of 'shrooms, man.

Posted by: stuiec at May 25, 2011 11:17 AM (Di3Im)

258
Pearce was wearing jeans tucked into cowboy boots

And in 200+ comments, no one has stated the obvious yet. He's GAY.

Posted by: arhooley at May 25, 2011 11:19 AM (+/eKV)

259 Well, cdajoe, regarding your link to the Irish guy and his indiscretion on a flight, in fairness, what can you expect on an airline called Aer Lingus? How long be for some drunken Irish CEO of the airline says, "Hey, let's change the first part of the name to Cunni, people will think it's Gaelic."

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 25, 2011 11:21 AM (j/5DA)

260 264 Two things will get a thread to 250+ comments in an hour; Sarah Palin or Masturbation

Posted by: kbdabear at May 25, 2011 03:17 PM (vdfwz)

One in the same.

Posted by: wrg50 at May 25, 2011 11:22 AM (mB2ub)

261 Press Release from Kyle's spokesperson: "Enough is enough! All I did was whip out my motherfucking snake on that motherfucking plane!"

Posted by: Sgt. York at May 25, 2011 11:23 AM (uLilQ)

262 Way back in the 90s, when I was in Navy flight school, the tradition was to join the mile high club on your first solo flight. This guy did it wrong.

Posted by: Bomber at May 25, 2011 11:25 AM (qzoN5)

263

Bull rider's rarely last 8 seconds.

Posted by: rightzilla at May 25, 2011 11:28 AM (SPVfc)

264 Not me.
Different flight.

Posted by: Hank Often at May 25, 2011 11:29 AM (NNf5U)

265

Congratulations, Ken. You have discovered an entirely new dimension of humorlessness.

Yeah. It's the one that contains your posts.

Forget about a sense of humor. I don't think he has testicles. He sounds like a dried up priggish old biddy.

Posted by: Dumb_Blonde at May 25, 2011 11:31 AM (VL0Rm)

266 I only make wall babies in x-rated movie theaters.

Posted by: peewee herman at May 25, 2011 11:33 AM (mObhN)

267

Unseen from Hotair has a MySpace page, is in Junior College and rides bulls?

Yeah, that actually sounds about right and explains much.

Posted by: nora at May 25, 2011 11:35 AM (VxqUc)

268 The last time I flew, I was too engrossed in Qantas' brand-new entertainment system to find the time to beat the bishop.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at May 25, 2011 11:38 AM (1rHeD)

269 It will be on xvideos.com soon enough. He was likely filming it. They say he had a red bag with him. There is no way he does that without filming it.

Posted by: KOW at May 25, 2011 11:45 AM (TbM8N)

270 The system worked.

Posted by: Big Sis at May 25, 2011 11:48 AM (Y5W94)

271 Reminds me a little of the Japanese videos with a penis in a box. They get a girl to stick their hand into a box on the street a guy is holding, they are a little afraid at first, they nervously reach around in the box, they eventually find an object, they are at first a little scared, then they touch it again, they start to feel it, then they start to stroke it trying to figure out what it is, they eventually are told to lift the top of the box to see that it is, some get mad and stomp off, some finish the guy off.

Hot stuff.

Posted by: KOW at May 25, 2011 11:51 AM (TbM8N)

272 Was that wrong? Because when the attendant went through the flight instructions, she said don't smoke on the plane, don't sit in the exit row if you can't open the door, don't give your oxygen mask to a kid before you're squared away, don't put both of your carryons in the overhead bin. But she didn't say anything about no slapping the monkey. Conscious oversight? I think not.

I mean, don't they have cockpits on airplanes?

Posted by: km at May 25, 2011 12:04 PM (iFQkz)

273 I wish I could have read this in the dentist's office today while I was under nitrous oxide. (Then again, I might have peed myself.)

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 25, 2011 12:20 PM (UOM48)

274
I think this guy posts as "Ace". Maybe that was pudding she saw??

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at May 25, 2011 12:24 PM (1hM1d)

275 I just wanted to tell you both good luck; weÂ’re all counting on you.

Posted by: Corona at May 25, 2011 12:32 PM (fh2Y7)

276 In my Navy days we called this "hand to gland combat" Seen a good movie lately

Posted by: PeeWeeHarris at May 25, 2011 12:41 PM (bjjN9)

277 Excuse me stewardess, I speak wanker

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 25, 2011 12:42 PM (1Jaio)

278 Hey, you're not gunna catch anything unless you get your tackle in the water.

Posted by: moemo at May 25, 2011 12:51 PM (jYoCE)

279 It's like when your ears won't "pop," so you chew gum, or yawn over and over? Yeah, that's it, - you gotta relieve that pressure or serious personal injury may result.

Posted by: Fritz at May 25, 2011 01:13 PM (AN8d5)

280 In fairness to the guy, it was a long flight, he was tired, and some men need to rub one out before they can fall asleep.

Posted by: MrCaniac at May 25, 2011 02:05 PM (eKuOw)

281 Okay! I admit it. It was me. At least I didn't whip out the video bonus round.

Posted by: The Guy From Cash Cab at May 25, 2011 02:34 PM (20jXV)

282 Lucky for the other passengers it was not Dick Cheney, what with his mighty War Co.....

Posted by: GWB at May 25, 2011 02:35 PM (u+8qs)

283 I'm not saying he did it but FUBAR just entered the Fapperal Witness Protection program.

Posted by: David at May 25, 2011 02:42 PM (+ztuU)

284 ...some finish the guy off.

Hopefully with a gun.

Posted by: Way Old Dude at May 25, 2011 02:47 PM (JEvSn)

285 Your blog is one of a kind, i love the way you organize the topics