January 15, 2012
— Ace Sorry, guys, there's nothing really here except a thread. Maet couldn't do it tonight, and our back-up, Dave, ran into a snag.
So, um: Overnight Open Thread.
Added [rdbrewer]: From John Huntsman's speech tomorrow, a few words in his native tongue, Chinese:
他妈的你愚蠢的人。Also, there's this thing I found on the internet with dogs and squirrels.
[Added (without permission) by wiserbud, who is still riding high on the Giant's defeat of the Packers.]
Omni Magazine, one of the coolest non-pron magazines ever published by a Guccione, has a tribute site
If you've never read Omni magazine, now's your chance. At least one of the revived Outer Limits episodes was based on a really good, and truly scary, short story that was originally published in Omni.
Posted by: Ace at
06:41 PM
| Comments (718)
Post contains 113 words, total size 1 kb.
Posted by: Pecos, hates Obama, don't like Mitt much either at January 15, 2012 06:42 PM (2Gb0y)
Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at January 15, 2012 06:43 PM (yQwq5)
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 06:43 PM (7yvLv)
'If I had focused I'd have an acting career like Kate Winslet,' says Kelly Brook
Suuure.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 06:43 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: Pecos, hates Obama, don't like Mitt much either at January 15, 2012 06:44 PM (2Gb0y)
Posted by: Just Sayin' at January 15, 2012 06:45 PM (gVqQ3)
Posted by: Ostral B Heretic at January 15, 2012 06:45 PM (9pdFK)
Posted by: Iowa Bob at January 15, 2012 06:46 PM (LMHub)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 06:47 PM (JKNDp)
We blame the Greeks.
Posted by: Europe at January 15, 2012 06:47 PM (2IW5Q)
FYI, I just found the bottom of my bottle of scotch. Damn.
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 06:48 PM (JKNDp)
Wing that Mother!!!
Posted by: Portnoy at January 15, 2012 06:48 PM (1P9Wb)
All my work to grab the # 1 sockpuppeteer will not be recognized.
I will now go and sulk. Anyone like to join me?
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 06:49 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 06:49 PM (7yvLv)
Posted by: DAve at January 15, 2012 06:49 PM (NENS6)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 06:50 PM (niZvt)
Who wouldn't want to be able to do this to Nicole Kidman
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 06:50 PM (GULKT)
Posted by: DAve at January 15, 2012 06:51 PM (NENS6)
Perhaps you have not glimpsed what comes next in my plan
Signed, Nature
Posted by: Ice Age at January 15, 2012 06:51 PM (2IW5Q)
Posted by: eman at January 15, 2012 06:51 PM (dWuuB)
Posted by: sithkhan at January 15, 2012 06:51 PM (EjtN/)
Ace will be watching the game, not going to see Red Tails and writing up the review
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 06:51 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: USS Diversity at January 15, 2012 06:51 PM (PddVe)
Clooney (blech) just made a penis joke and Meryl Streep joked about her accepting the role of Thatcher only after Gervais turned it down.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 06:52 PM (piMMO)
Because commies love maintaining a status quo. Dynamism is one of their greatest foes and must be brutally squashed.
Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston training for the ONT mudwrestling match at January 15, 2012 06:53 PM (ijjAe)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 06:53 PM (JKNDp)
Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2012 06:53 PM (I2LwF)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 06:53 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 15, 2012 06:53 PM (V6fqC)
Muhammed Ali?
Seriously? When's the last time you saw him?
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 06:53 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: TomH at January 15, 2012 06:54 PM (vAJ/g)
Anybody seen this? Plan to move oil south from Canada on railroad owned by Warren Buffett in place of of Keystone XL pipeline. http://tinyurl.com/7qevxyh
Posted by: Wm T Sherman at January 15, 2012 06:54 PM (NBPbB)
Ok..serious golf clap!!
You saved many pointless lives with that post...well done!!
Posted by: Portnoy at January 15, 2012 06:54 PM (1P9Wb)
Posted by: screenwriter for The Artist commenting on Gervais at the GGs at January 15, 2012 06:54 PM (sHY5w)
Because of the arrogant leftist cockholsters endless attempt to control life, liberty, and the god damn universe.
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 06:55 PM (FMbng)
That robot has built a huge reputation all due to her ability to be wooden in 35 different accents
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 06:55 PM (Y+DPZ)
Fine. Grace Park.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 10:53 PM (UR5vq)
She's not exactly well endowed in that area no matter how smoking hot and flawless her body may be so I'm not sure she fulfills the requirements.
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 06:55 PM (GULKT)
1985 called, and it wants its questions back.
Posted by: Splunge at January 15, 2012 06:56 PM (2IW5Q)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 06:56 PM (niZvt)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 06:56 PM (JKNDp)
Seriously? When's the last time you saw him?
It's been awhile--I knew he was messed up but I just saw some piece on a party they had for him or something; looks like he's gotten even worse.
Posted by: USS Diversity at January 15, 2012 06:56 PM (PddVe)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 06:56 PM (j+Izh)
That first video is hysterical! Love the music they chose.
Posted by: Tami at January 15, 2012 06:56 PM (X6akg)
::just kidding::
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 06:58 PM (E+E+p)
Because of the arrogant leftist cockholsters endless attempt to control life, liberty, and the god damn universe.
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 10:55 PM
They know they can't control it and it always does nasty things. That's why they'll always need more of our money and more control over our lives because they still haven't mastered the universe
How else does Geraldo Cantore ratchet up the drama in a summer rain shower to plead for us to help him combat global warming so he doesn't have to witness death and destruction
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 06:59 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 06:59 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: DAve at January 15, 2012 06:59 PM (NENS6)
Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston training for the ONT mudwrestling match at January 15, 2012 06:59 PM (ijjAe)
Dogs. Squirrels. We've got a Sheltie (instinctive herding dog) and about an acre of oak trees with lotsa squirrels. As a pup, she tried to herd them, I guess; wouldn't run right after them. Squirrels would chatter away from just out of reach, like in the video above. After a couple of years, she figured it out and started to kill 'em with verve. Alas, she's now almost 12 yrs old and slowing down and deaf. The tree rat population has rebounded.
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 06:59 PM (7yvLv)
Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 15, 2012 06:59 PM (kqqGm)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 06:59 PM (JKNDp)
Trauma induced.
So, yeah, the hard hits in football can also leave a lasting legacy.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 07:00 PM (piMMO)
70 See, people? Maet and CDR M are professionals. This is what happens when amateurs do the ONT.
::just kidding::
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 10:58 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 07:01 PM (GULKT)
Sort of.
Posted by: andycanuck at January 15, 2012 07:01 PM (sHY5w)
That's worse than sharp elbows....gahh!!
Posted by: Portnoy at January 15, 2012 07:01 PM (1P9Wb)
I would so marry you if you bought me a Corgi.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:01 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: Jon Huntsman at January 15, 2012 11:00 PM (2IW5Q)
Oh hey, is that a menu? I love pork fried rice!
Posted by: Meghan McCain at January 15, 2012 07:01 PM (3aXbg)
I LMAO watching It's Complicated, but it had nothing to with her. Alec Baldwin (geez) and Steve Martin were really good in it.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 07:02 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 07:02 PM (JKNDp)
That's worse than sharp elbows....gahh!!
Posted by: Portnoy at January 15, 2012 11:01 PM (1P9Wb)
Ok, on behalf of the moron horde, I'll offer to take care of Ms Park, since I'm sure the calves make her a non starter with every other man on earth.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 07:03 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:03 PM (loM0R)
That's not veiny, it's defined muscles.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 07:03 PM (piMMO)
Think they'd need any government funding?
Posted by: Safe Schools Czar Jennings at January 15, 2012 07:03 PM (3aXbg)
Do we have a Provisional and Political ONT like the IRA?
Posted by: Michael O'Donnell at January 15, 2012 07:04 PM (Y+DPZ)
All you need is a mouthful.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 07:04 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 11:00 PM (piMMO)
I'm gonna go with that one in tomorrow's presser....
Posted by: Arron Rodgers at January 15, 2012 07:04 PM (1P9Wb)
Heh. Kathy Ireland.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 07:04 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 07:04 PM (niZvt)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 11:02 PM (JKNDp)
Wait. What? Uh...what's the number of that website...I need to have it shut down.
Posted by: Joe Biden at January 15, 2012 07:04 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Donald Trump at January 15, 2012 11:01 PM (PKotO)
Sorry, we'll try to get some more crystal chandeliers and put some gold-colored chrome on all the fixtures for you. And maybe some fountains that look like statues of cupids pissing on each other.
Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2012 07:05 PM (I2LwF)
Has anyone ever seen a rocket scientist/boxer?
How about doctor? Way back, mid to late 70s, there was a California welterweight named Pete Ranzani (sp?) who was a premed student at UCD. Damned good boxer; I think Carlos Palomino is the only guy to ever beat him.
Generally, though, no. But most of 'em weren't Rhodes Scholar candidates before they stepped into the ring. At least Clay/Ali had his wit in his youth.
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 07:05 PM (7yvLv)
I would so marry you if you bought me a Corgi.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 11:01 PM (E+E+p)
Heh, I think that's a bar I could actually clear 
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 07:05 PM (GULKT)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:05 PM (wfjys)
Posted by: the Mayans at January 15, 2012 07:05 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: Dear Leader is a dipstick at January 15, 2012 07:06 PM (FEdVy)
Are you disrespecting our national symbol?
Posted by: The Belgians at January 15, 2012 07:06 PM (2IW5Q)
Think they'd need any government funding?
Posted by: Safe Schools Czar Jennings at January 15, 2012 11:03 PM
Britain has understudies on the West End of London who could out-act Meryl Streep before their morning tea
Judy Densch, Helen Mirren, Helena Bonham-Carter, Emma Thompson ... why choose a mannequin from New Jersey for the part of the Iron Lady?
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 07:06 PM (Y+DPZ)
If we are specifically raising temperature by burning fossil fuels we should be burning more for that reason alone.
Oh, Mr Gore, when it was warmer in the 1100s, the sea levels did not inundate the coasts world wide...
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 07:06 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 11:05 PM (wfjys)
Well yeah!! She probably can't run too fast with those bird legs...
Posted by: Portnoy at January 15, 2012 07:07 PM (1P9Wb)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:07 PM (loM0R)
(true story) Trump stiffed the last merchant in Palm Beach who sold him a chandelier and got sued over it. Fuck Donald Trump, give him the lava lamp with the bad switch.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:08 PM (wfjys)
Posted by: Jon Huntsman's Voter at January 15, 2012 11:06 PM (Bm4Hv)
Oh come on dude.
Posted by: Some Former Huntsman Voter Putting an Obama 2012 sticker on his car at January 15, 2012 07:08 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 07:08 PM (niZvt)
RAT Senator James Webb was a boxer...there might be something to this trauma thing.
Posted by: USS Diversity at January 15, 2012 07:08 PM (PddVe)
Posted by: Manchuria Bureau of Trade and Tourism at January 15, 2012 07:08 PM (j+Izh)
I think hanging was a very common way the Chinese committed suicide. Have fun!
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 07:08 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 11:07 PM (loM0R)
The water...its freezing. Its like...70 degrees.
Posted by: Some Natural Flotation Device excaping the ship at January 15, 2012 07:08 PM (3aXbg)
Yeah, but they were growing wine grapes in Britain. We can't have that competition.
Now, if you'll pardon us, we have a high-speed rail link to build, to some clapped out places in the Central Valley that no one ever goes.
Posted by: California at January 15, 2012 07:09 PM (2IW5Q)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:09 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 07:09 PM (7yvLv)
Posted by: DAve at January 15, 2012 07:09 PM (NENS6)
If I was a Brit, I'd have found it bloody offensive an English actress wasn't chosen to play Madam Thatcher.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:09 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 10:47 PM (JKNDp)
Damn skippy. And we have the tube socks that look like they have been starched to prove it.
Posted by: MrCaniac at January 15, 2012 07:09 PM (uuOfy)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 11:08 PM (Y+DPZ)
Hey, he's like, uh, a 1% and like ran Pain Capital n'stuff.
Bam's the real conservative in this race. Oh - are you gonna finish those ribs?
Posted by: Meghan McCain at January 15, 2012 07:10 PM (3aXbg)
I am really tired of everyone comparing it to the titanic. It really is nothing like the titanic. what a bunch of pantywaists. Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 11:07 PM
The Titanic was 400 miles from land in 12,000 ft of water
This tub was 400 feet from land in 12 ft of water. Half of them probably waded to shore
I'm sure we'll hear that the Captain was just like Hitler
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 07:10 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: Lady Mary Crawley at January 15, 2012 07:11 PM (sHY5w)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 11:08 PM (niZvt)
Chubby and delicious...
Posted by: Michael Vick at January 15, 2012 07:11 PM (1P9Wb)
Man inserts zucchini in rectum in failed suicide attempt
Rectum? Damn near killed him!
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 07:11 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:11 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:13 PM (wfjys)
Well, this might be a bit of an understatement of the situation but, nonetheless, point taken.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 07:13 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:13 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: California Bureau of Trade and Tourism at January 15, 2012 07:14 PM (j+Izh)
Man inserts zucchini in rectum in failed suicide attempt
Kratos, be damned if I'll open that link, but there must have been something else involved in the suicide attempt or it was one hell of a BIG zucchini!
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 07:14 PM (7yvLv)
Posted by: DAve at January 15, 2012 07:14 PM (NENS6)
Judy Densch, Helen Mirren, Helena Bonham-Carter, Emma Thompson ... why choose a mannequin from New Jersey for the part of the Iron Lady?
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 11:06 PM (Y+DPZ)
The producers know that putting her name on the poster will get them at least one nomination for the Golden Globes or Academy Awards. I haven't seen the movie, but I bet Bonham-Carter would have been better.
Posted by: MrCaniac at January 15, 2012 07:14 PM (uuOfy)
Man inserts zucchini in rectum in failed suicide attempt
Rectum? Damn near killed him!
Suicide attempt? This is part of my daily health regimen, along with the HGH.
Say, have you seen my Newsweek cover story?
Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at January 15, 2012 07:14 PM (2IW5Q)
Say what?
Posted by: Bridget Jones at January 15, 2012 07:15 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 07:15 PM (JKNDp)
Well, I bet if he wasn't 100% sure about the suicide thing before he is now.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 07:15 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:15 PM (wfjys)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 07:15 PM (niZvt)
How scandalous!
Posted by: Vivien Leigh at January 15, 2012 07:16 PM (piMMO)
Russia: Attack on Tehran is Attack on Moscow
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 07:16 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:17 PM (wfjys)
Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at January 15, 2012 07:17 PM (bxiXv)
Patriots: Bellicheat's an asshole
Giants: Manning is overrated and most of them are also assholes
Ravens: Ray Lewis should be in jail with OJ instead of being deified
49ers: Willis came up from abject poverty and seems to have a good story so I could probably root for them, but they likely won't get past the damned Giants
I hate football
Posted by: USS Diversity at January 15, 2012 07:17 PM (PddVe)
Or at least people wouldn't fall asleep...
Posted by: Some Anglohpile at January 15, 2012 07:18 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Teddy Roosevelt at January 15, 2012 07:18 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: Chuckit at January 15, 2012 07:18 PM (+O8rB)
She was terrific playing Queen Elizabeth's mum in The King's Speech
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 07:18 PM (piMMO)
Well, I do need a dog that will keep up with me when I walk fast so I'll keep it from getting chubby. My poor pit was dragging behind me today while the German shepherd and I walked briskly.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:18 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: Mr. Plinkett, Red Letter Media at January 15, 2012 07:19 PM (digkk)
Undoubtedly the Russians haven't been paid yet for some work they were doing. The Iranians are apparently notoriously slow to pay contractors.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:19 PM (wfjys)
So, Tehran's in Russia? Learn something new every day.
Posted by: Joe Biden at January 15, 2012 07:19 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Joe Biden at January 15, 2012 07:19 PM (niZvt)
We have her partially to thank for all the demonization of the nuclear industry due to her role in "Silkwood". She also starred in other propaganda flicks such as "Rendition" and "Lions for Lambs".
It is not surprising that she would gladly use her talents to help smear the reputation of the Iron Lady.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 07:19 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 07:19 PM (JKNDp)
how's the lotto?
According to our local news just a couple of minutes ago, Powerball is raising the ticket prices. Just a little, though: 100% or to $2. Seems their revenues are dropping. Let's see, what kind of thinking does that represent?
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 07:19 PM (7yvLv)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 07:20 PM (piMMO)
That's disgusting.
Posted by: Andi Sullivan at January 15, 2012 07:21 PM (3aXbg)
Perhaps it is the Russians who are helping knock off those Iranian scientists. It does make sense in a macabre way. You help train up those engineers then kill them so that the Iranians will pay you to train more engineers. Rinse, lather, repeat. The last assassination was inefficient, yet showy. *shrugs*.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 07:22 PM (UR5vq)
ËûÂèµÄÄãÓÞ´ÀµÄÈË¡£
Translation: These are great days we're living, bros. I'm a jolly green giant, walking the Earth with campaign funds. The money I wasted here today came from the finest sheep I will ever know. After I rotate back to the private sector, I'm gonna miss not having anyone around that's worth fleecing.
Posted by: John Huntsman at January 15, 2012 07:22 PM (2xfbm)
Son of a bitch!
Now I've got fucking porn popups!
Off to clean my computer now.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 07:22 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 11:19 PM (UR5vq)
I loved that movie. I cried and cried when the robot got shot.
Oh damn, I gotta return it. That new muppets movie is out!
Posted by: Joe Biden at January 15, 2012 07:22 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:22 PM (loM0R)
Smart gamblers bet the numbers with the mob. The mob pays fast, doesn't report winnings to the IRS, and pays back money per dollar invested than state run lotteries. Advantage: mob.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:23 PM (wfjys)
Streep never impressed me. She's OK, but that's about it.
That Meryl Streep is such a phoney-baloney!
Posted by: Jerry at January 15, 2012 07:23 PM (PKotO)
Corgies are cute but tend to get chubby.
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 11:08 PM (niZvt)
only if you feed them like pigs and dont keep em busy. OTOH... if YOU dont keep them busy they will find ways to amuse themselves. The are smart enough to do your taxes and full of mischief.l Neighbor has a new puppy thats just running all over him and the aussies already there.
its hilarious to me listening to him yell at her for terrorizing the 50-60 lb dogs. I think she weighs all of 5 lbs soaking wet. but shes cute as a bug, even when shes being troublesome. lotta horse people have corgis. I like the red pembrokes best.
Posted by: gushie goes ginger by request at January 15, 2012 07:23 PM (QNeKQ)
if you could work something out for me.. that would be great.
SLEEP WITH TRUMAN! BRING YOUR SISTER!
Posted by: God at January 15, 2012 07:23 PM (I2LwF)
Shit Women Do
Shit Guys Do
Kitten Video
Nasty, horrible plastic surgery
Retro booze ad
Throw in some Johnny Cash and a weapon and we have a deal.
Posted by: model_1066 at January 15, 2012 07:23 PM (PWwbk)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 07:23 PM (niZvt)
RAT Senator James Webb was a boxer...there might be something to this trauma thing.
Posted by: USS Diversity at January 15, 2012 11:08 PM (PddVe)
So was Harry Reid, if you need another data point.
Posted by: long toss at January 15, 2012 07:23 PM (beG/L)
Not going to click it. Wouldn't be prudent.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 07:23 PM (4q5tP)
You help train up those engineers then kill them so that the Iranians will pay you to train more engineers. Rinse, lather, repeat.
This. And after the fomented war which the Iranians cannot win, who goes into Iran to straighten things up?
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 07:25 PM (7yvLv)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 07:25 PM (j+Izh)
The Iranian birth is probably nothing. She was born there in 1956, long before the nation went Islamist-crazy.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 07:25 PM (UR5vq)
Distinct possibility. They're not above manufacturing job security via unconventional means and milking a job. Times are tough, and they gotta keep their nuke geeks employed.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:26 PM (wfjys)
I am really tired of everyone comparing it to the titanic. It really is nothing like the titanic.
Titanic? Never heard of it.
Posted by: SS Californian lookout at January 15, 2012 07:26 PM (PddVe)
Posted by: Theresa at January 15, 2012 07:26 PM (ejSrN)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 07:26 PM (JKNDp)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 11:23 PM (wfjys)
State run lotteries don't break your kneecaps for being a little behind. Advantage: Not Gambling.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 07:27 PM (4q5tP)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:28 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 15, 2012 07:29 PM (V6fqC)
Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2012 07:29 PM (I2LwF)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 11:28 PM (loM0R)
Heh, someone hasn't been following my recent history.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 07:29 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2012 07:30 PM (I2LwF)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 15, 2012 07:30 PM (wfjys)
We endorsed Huntsman yesterday and he is going to quit tomorrow.
What will you all pay us to endorse Obama?
I'm sure it won't take much.
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 07:30 PM (7yvLv)
Did you read the weekly standard piece on the sidebar today?
I liked how they broke down Obama's team between survivalists and revivalists. Seems like he's got too much internal strife, it also sounds incredibly dangerous from "it's my damn country" perspective.
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 15, 2012 07:30 PM (tKFT6)
Posted by: Li Ying Zhi at January 15, 2012 07:30 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2012 07:31 PM (I2LwF)
Posted by: The State Newspaper at January 15, 2012 11:29 PM (hXJOG)
Y'all will do it for free and like it.
Posted by: In Exile at January 15, 2012 07:31 PM (0401c)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:31 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: bergerbilder, Stafford "financial aid" recipient at January 15, 2012 07:31 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: AmishDude at January 15, 2012 07:32 PM (73tyQ)
Well, I do need a dog that will keep up with me when I walk fast so I'll keep it from getting chubby. My poor pit was dragging behind me today while the German shepherd and I walked briskly.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 11:18 PM (E+E+p)
The poor little corgi will be jogging to keep up with you with his short little stubs. 
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 07:33 PM (GULKT)
Posted by: eman at January 15, 2012 07:33 PM (dWuuB)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 07:34 PM (niZvt)
The bengals had a player named Bob Trumpe who went on to become a radio personality. One of his stories was at training camp the players were complaining about not having an air conditioner in their room. They were given one. Then they complained it didn't work. Someone came to check it. It was sitting on a chair in the center of the room, plugged in and running.
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 07:35 PM (JKNDp)
From Twitter - I guarantee that if Streep had won 4 playing Eleanor Roosevelt,Hillary or Madame Mao,she wouldn't have "forgotten" to thank her inspiration.
She didn't even thank Lady Thatcher? Hell, Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada is better than the real-life Streep. At least the former valued initiative and hard-work.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 07:35 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2012 11:31 PM (I2LwF)
Old girlfriends were mentioned on a recent ONT as a particularly fertile field to plow, so to speak.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 07:35 PM (4q5tP)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:36 PM (loM0R)
They're raised to be sheep herders. They ought to be fast little buggers!
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:36 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: SS Californian lookout at January 15, 2012 11:26 PM (PddVe)
--------------------
Shut up! Shut up! I am busy! I am working Cape Race!
Posted by: Jack Phillips, RMS Titanic at January 15, 2012 07:36 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: derit at January 15, 2012 07:36 PM (FQlFL)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 07:36 PM (JKNDp)
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 07:38 PM (7yvLv)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 07:38 PM (niZvt)
Old girlfriends were mentioned on a recent ONT as a particularly fertile field to plow, so to speak.
Sounds risky, not sure I want to go to a place I've already been.
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 15, 2012 07:39 PM (tKFT6)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:39 PM (loM0R)
FF+NoScript+Adblock Plus. Don't leave homepage without it.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 11:23 PM (3aXbg)
Appended.
Posted by: Jew janitor's mop bucket at January 15, 2012 07:39 PM (jV57q)
Umm, wouldn't most single guys prefer to seed a barrenfield, as it were?
I find it best to avoid plowing fields where grass grows.
Posted by: Roman Polanski at January 15, 2012 07:41 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 11:36 PM (loM0R)
Yep. Did I meet you at the meet up under a slightly different name perchance?
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 07:41 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 11:36 PM (E+E+p)
cattle. they are low so that the cow kicks and hooves go right over their little heads. they are heel nippers. and people nippers too if you dont teach them not to. im getting some real ROFLMAO moments watching this p0up0py grab my cowboy friends beard and run, hes got battle scars on his hands wrists nose and chest. Rum you sure you want a vicious beast to scar you up like that?
Posted by: gushie goes ginger by request at January 15, 2012 07:41 PM (QNeKQ)
Posted by: bergerbilder, Stafford at January 15, 2012 07:42 PM (j+Izh)
Putting your accomplishments into perspective:
World's youngest Microsoft Certified Professional dead at 16
Arfa Karim had an astonishing knowledge of technology, so much so that she became a Microsoft Certified Professional seven years ago, at the age of 9. News Pakistan reports that Arfa passed away after spending 26 days in a hospital.
The 16 year old Arfa suffered an epileptic seizure and went into cardiac arrest on December 22, and had been in a coma since then.
Although she was born in Pakistan, a country that's not exactly thought of a a technological powerhouse, that didn't stop Arfa from mastering technologies that many adults struggle with before her 10th birthday. Back in 2005, she met Bill Gates while visiting the Microsoft campus in Redmond. If that isn't enough of an accomplishment, she was received certification to fly a plane in Dubai when she was just 10.
Gates got into contact with Arfa's parents a few days ago and offered to help pay for her treatment, and assembled a team of American doctors to oversee Arfa's treatment via video conference, and they had discussed bringing her to the US for further treatment. Unfortunately, it was not to be.
Arfa passed away yesterday in Lahore, Pakistan. Although she was already representing Pakistan in global technological forums, it's hard not to wonder what Arfa might have accomplished if given more time. The whole world should mourn what could have been one of the great minds of the 21st century.
Neowin.net
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 15, 2012 07:42 PM (3wBRE)
Posted by: rickl at January 15, 2012 07:42 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 07:42 PM (niZvt)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:43 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: eman at January 15, 2012 11:41 PM (dWuuB)
I don't want to get married...again.
Dating though? Sure.
And my ex's are not a particular good choice. Moved away or married. And the bar scene really isn't for me.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 07:43 PM (3aXbg)
To be honest, you'd probably have decent luck simply going bar hopping with your wedding band on.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 07:43 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Corona at January 15, 2012 07:43 PM (fh2Y7)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 11:43 PM (loM0R)
Actually brought the ex to a meet up a while ago.
See, I knew something was wrong when she didn't get into it.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 07:44 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 11:43 PM (+1TUS)
I have to say that is the damnedest thing - the more attached you are, the more women are likely to hit on you.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 07:44 PM (3aXbg)
She probably would have ended up third wife somewhere, rigging up new and ingenious detonators for IEDs to be used in Afghanistan.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 07:45 PM (+1TUS)
Oh here's some fun stuff. Last week I was talking to a guy at work about computers and on Friday he says how he got a virus on his computer, and it brought up a warning about it. Well he doesn't have any virus software, and isn't exactly computer savvy. And when he tried to restart it, it would stop at the xp load screen. I told him how to start it in safemode, and also a recomendation to get a free virus scanner.
Well the reason he's got viruses is because his wife goes to all the coupon sites and just installs everything off them so that's the likely source. So at lunch he got a call from his wife, and she said the computer started up and that warning about a virus came up and so she installed the virus protection that was bringing up the warning and bought a 2 year subscription to it....
Now everyone with some general computer/internet/virus knowledge should be screaming a few things.
It does say all the viruses are gone now. So maybe tomorrow I'll get an update on what all went down.
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 07:46 PM (GULKT)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 11:39 PM (loM0R)
So True. If you never got to the back 40 on the first go 'round well, now's your chance.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 07:46 PM (4q5tP)
I have to say that is the damnedest thing - the more attached you are, the more women are likely to hit on you.
Women want what they can't have, they're freakin insane.
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 15, 2012 07:47 PM (tKFT6)
Heh, I brought my now ex-bf to a meet up and he wasn't so into it either...
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:47 PM (E+E+p)
It's a couple of things:
1) You've already been prescreened to be marriage, or at least relationship material.
2) The unconcious rivalry that most women have with each other means that stealing you is a win for her, even if she doesn't even know your wife.
3) If she's not looking for a relationship, you are safer since you are not likely to want a relationship either.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 07:48 PM (+1TUS)
See. Sheep.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:48 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: eman at January 15, 2012 07:49 PM (dWuuB)
Obviously an inferior model. You should know better, missy.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 07:49 PM (+1TUS)
I read it in a sci-fi anthology book. Scared the shit out of me. Still creeps me out if I think about it.
Posted by: rdbrewer at January 15, 2012 07:49 PM (/0Ku/)
I have to say that is the damnedest thing - the more attached you are, the more women are likely to hit on you.
Yep. It is the damnedest thing. I'm always like, "where the hell were you when I was single"?
Posted by: USS Diversity at January 15, 2012 07:50 PM (PddVe)
Posted by: On the wrong blog at January 15, 2012 07:50 PM (j+Izh)
Women want what they can't have, they're freakin insane.
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 15, 2012 11:47 PM (tKFT6)
I've had this theory for a long long time that women are meticulous and thrifty shoppers but only when it comes to men.
They want what they perceive as the most valuable product on the market.
Posted by: AmishDude at January 15, 2012 07:50 PM (73tyQ)
I'm going to guess it's the kind of women you don't actually want to keep around.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:50 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: rdbrewer at January 15, 2012 07:50 PM (/0Ku/)
Hahaha, clearly! That's why he's the ex.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:51 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: Li Ying Zhi at January 15, 2012 07:51 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 11:50 PM (E+E+p)
Yeah, that's the problem. You think they're good old fun time girls (what with not being down with monogamy and all) but they're like a dryer without fabric softener, you drop a load in them and it's cling, cling, cling.
Posted by: AmishDude at January 15, 2012 07:51 PM (73tyQ)
Posted by: marybel at January 15, 2012 07:52 PM (QGwv0)
Posted by: derit at January 15, 2012 07:52 PM (FQlFL)
I am being serious now. I stopped at a bar to meet a couple buddies and one of them, always a wild ass and flirt, is making out with a bar hog. Then he takes off with her. I really have no use for that shit. I know his wife and kids. I have told him he's an idiot. Guess I have to scratch him off my friend list. I don't want to watch this train wreck.
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 07:52 PM (JKNDp)
so if you go with a wedding band and you do strike up a conversation, how do you argue away the ring?
Posted by: chemjeff at January 15, 2012 11:51 PM (7FadD)
[sigh] It's complicated. [stares off into distance]
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 07:52 PM (4q5tP)
Heh, sounds like my mom, she installs all the crap she comes across, toolbars, weather thingies, coupon stuff, whatever and then she calls me saying that the computer i gave her is terrible because it doesn't start up.
Posted by: booger at January 15, 2012 07:53 PM (EjNp5)
Posted by: rdbrewer at January 15, 2012 07:53 PM (/0Ku/)
Well, chances are that if she's hitting on a married guy, she's not going to care that you're married. If you mean how does he explain his divorce, he can easily say that he isn't ready to remove his ring, because he was always faithful to his vows.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 07:54 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 07:55 PM (loM0R)
Heh, sounds like my mom, she installs all the crap she comes across, toolbars, weather thingies, coupon stuff, whatever and then she calls me saying that the computer i gave her is terrible because it doesn't start up.
Posted by: booger at January 15, 2012 11:53 PM (EjNp5)
Yeah, to me that warning he mentioned just screamed "virus pretending to be a warning" and she fracking bought it! Paid money for it. Didn't even wait to check with her husband to see if that would be the best course of action.
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 07:55 PM (GULKT)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 07:55 PM (niZvt)
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 11:48 PM (E+E+p)
I have actually owned one. she used to herd ducks too. i would never have called her a duckdog. be careful, their knees are fragile.
Posted by: gushie goes ginger by request at January 15, 2012 07:56 PM (QNeKQ)
See, AmishDude, that's just the sort of romantic poetry sure to win the heart of nice girls like Rummy!
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 15, 2012 11:55 PM (niZvt)
Actually to win her heart you need to play with superhero action figures and buy her a corgi.
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 07:57 PM (GULKT)
It baffles me people can be this freaking clueless in this day in age, but maybe it shouldn't surprise me. My mom is the most technologically illiterate person I know, but my dad has reinforced "don't click on pop ups" rule on her enough that she's almost afraid to click on anything.
Phishing scams too. Those are just so bloody obvious to me but people get taken in all. the. damn. time.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:57 PM (E+E+p)
Nah, get something medium size and zoom in on the girls with big dogs. Especially if she admits to letting it sleep on her bed. As a friend's wife put it while he was deployed, "I'm sleeping next to a warm body. It can either be the dog, or someone from the bar." '
Rat dogs will attract the wrong kind of women.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 07:58 PM (+1TUS)
Yep. So I haven't actually been on a date since 2009...
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 07:59 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: Roman Polanski at January 15, 2012 11:41 PM (+1TUS)
---------------------
If it bleeds, it breeds, so just punch her in the nose.
Posted by: Zombie Errol Flynn at January 15, 2012 07:59 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: marybel at January 15, 2012 07:59 PM (QGwv0)
Man inserts zucchini in rectum in failed suicide attempt
Kratos, be damned if I'll open that link, but there must have been something else involved in the suicide attempt or it was one hell of a BIG zucchini!
Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 11:14 PM (7yvLv)
I'm not opening that either, but I'm thinking maybe a zucchini plant.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 07:59 PM (kaalw)
Posted by: eman at January 15, 2012 08:00 PM (dWuuB)
but "faithful to his vows" is rather incongruent with hanging out at the bars...
I mean that he tells her that his wife filed for divorce, but that *he* was always faithful. He plays the heartbroken husband who just needs to be comforted.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:00 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Theresa at January 15, 2012 08:01 PM (ejSrN)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 08:01 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: rdbrewer at January 15, 2012 08:01 PM (/0Ku/)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:02 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: eman at January 15, 2012 08:02 PM (dWuuB)
IIRC, it's usually retirees who are lonely and want to believe it's true. Plus, they're less likely to be familiar with technology and the kind of people that can exploit it.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:02 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:02 PM (digkk)
Posted by: chemjeff at January 15, 2012 11:55 PM (7FadD)
Lol'd. Looked like the kids' computer when I got tasked to fix it because it wouldn't connect to the internet anymore.
Me: Who loaded all this crap on the PC?
Chorus: Not me. Not me. Not me. Not me.
Me: Who unistalled BitDefender that was preventing you from downloading all this junk?
Chorus: Not me. Not me. Not me. Not me.
Me: Get out of my face.
4 hours and 9 virus-kills later, we're back in business
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 08:03 PM (4q5tP)
I always figured the bad grammar was the giveaway, but I guess not.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 08:04 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: Alex at January 16, 2012 12:02 AM (+1TUS)
Indeed. My grandmother almost fell prey to those type of scams, but luckily her computer-literate son got her to use some common sense on the Internets.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 08:04 PM (UR5vq)
And my ex's are not a particular good choice. Moved away or married. And the bar scene really isn't for me."
Perhaps I can be of assistance. Have you met my friend, Air Force Amy? A face you might not wanna wipe your feet on, but peaks that would make Edmund Hillary stand up and salute.
Posted by: Dennis Hof at January 15, 2012 08:04 PM (2xfbm)
Rat dogs will attract the wrong kind of women.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 11:58 PM (+1TUS)
freakin insightful and totally true.
if you think you ar3e smart and strong willed get a blue heeler (Australian cattle dog) nice medium sized dog, strong smart stubborn, but insanely loyal and utterly charming. Very much not a sissy dog, but girls melt over them. Best do9g i ever had was a blue heeler. My red heeler was great too but not like the red one. he was not pretty but he was a charmer. the corgi might be a good option too.
small dogs dont impress me with a man.
Posted by: gushie goes ginger by request at January 15, 2012 08:06 PM (QNeKQ)
Just an aside.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 08:06 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 08:06 PM (JKNDp)
Posted by: USS Diversity at January 15, 2012 11:50 PM (PddVe)
-----------------
Busy banging a few younger, hotter, wealthier guys - sorry.
Posted by: Sweet Young Thing At The Bar at January 15, 2012 08:07 PM (2xfbm)
On a serious note, I'd recommend finding a new interest that allows you to meet women. Do something that looks interesting and will give you a shared interest with her. For example, I've had a lot of success with Argentine Tango. They are always hurting for single men to help balance out the number of leads/followers, and the women are usually from a better off income/social bracket.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:07 PM (+1TUS)
Iran receives US letter over Strait of Hormuz
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 08:07 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:08 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 16, 2012 12:06 AM (JKNDp)
This summarizes the problem with attempting to go up to a girl at a bar. They travel in massive packs.
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 08:08 PM (GULKT)
Posted by: marybel at January 15, 2012 08:08 PM (QGwv0)
Posted by: JCELEPHANT at January 15, 2012 08:08 PM (TYm2g)
@283: "huh, just read 272
so if you go with a wedding band and you do strike up a conversation, how do you argue away the ring"
You don't. Talk up your wife and how much you love her. Just leave it open that you're open to options.
Posted by: Sweet Young Thing At The Bar at January 15, 2012 08:09 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 08:10 PM (JKNDp)
Posted by: garrett at January 15, 2012 08:10 PM (PKotO)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:12 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:12 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 16, 2012 12:11 AM (JKNDp
The hill is Little Round Top. And you're the Confederates.
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 08:13 PM (GULKT)
@315: "I mean that he tells her that his wife filed for divorce, but that *he* was always faithful. He plays the heartbroken husband who just needs to be comforted"
Be sure to say: "Do you know anything about addiction? Because I didn't. I did everything I could think of to help. But in the end, you just can't help someone who doesn't *want* help."
Makes it 100% clear that you're the good one in the relationship and she didn't leave because of something you did.
Posted by: Sweet Young Thing At The Bar at January 15, 2012 08:13 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 08:14 PM (j+Izh)
This summarizes the problem with attempting to go up to a girl at a bar. They travel in massive packs.
Posted by: buzzion at January 16, 2012 12:08 AM (GULKT)
Woo Hots! Big grain o' truth in that vid.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 08:14 PM (4q5tP)
All three of the dogs I've owned have been rescues. I only adopt adult dogs. They tend to come pre-trained already and are mellower.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 08:15 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: eman at January 15, 2012 08:16 PM (dWuuB)
Posted by: Caesar and Napoleon at January 15, 2012 08:16 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2012 12:10 AM (PKotO)
you just described my red one! she also liked to bite faces.
the blue one i got from a shelter was the best damn dog and probably was so so grateful he escaped death eh was willing to forgo the anklebiting. he even loved my cats.
Posted by: gushie goes ginger by request at January 15, 2012 08:17 PM (QNeKQ)
@346: "oh yeah, if you do get a dog rescue it from a kill shelter."
Then piss off the shelter staff by naming it Wiesenthal
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 15, 2012 08:17 PM (2xfbm)
I recommend a crossbow. Easier to maneuver in a crowded nightclub.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:18 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 16, 2012 12:11 AM (JKNDp
---------------------------
The hill is Little Round Top. And you're the Confederates.
-------------------------
Nah, we're Hamburger Hill, and you're the 101st. After heavy (financial) losses, you'll get us, then immediately abandon us and wonder what the point was.
Posted by: The "Ladies" You Meet In Bars at January 15, 2012 08:20 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:21 PM (loM0R)
Awww! I prefer going through rescue orgs but they seem to think even if you owned a dog you're not worthy to adopt one. Shelters are pretty much a gamble, but we lucked out with the two we got from the shelter. Plus the shelter offered them as a buddy deal, so it was buy one get one half off.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 08:22 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:24 PM (digkk)
Omni is the finest pseudo-science and fantasy magazines ever published by a pornographer. The finest quality inks and paper. Even the staples holding it together were top of the line. Oh, the content? Uh...
Anyway, as a lad I used to occasioanlly borrow a copy from under my older brother's bed. The pages weren't stuck together like the other Guccione publications. Usually. Which was nice.
Posted by: Wm T Sherman at January 15, 2012 08:25 PM (NBPbB)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:25 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 11:47 PM (E+E+p)
We should fix them up. HAHAHAHAHA
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 08:26 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:26 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:26 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:28 PM (digkk)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:28 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 16, 2012 12:11 AM (JKNDp
The hill is Little Round Top. And you're the Confederates.
Posted by: buzzion at January 16, 2012 12:13 AM (GULKT)
And the girl's internal standards keeper, which will not soberly settle for less than Thomas Magnum/James Bond/Fabio, is the 20th Maine.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 08:28 PM (4q5tP)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:28 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 15, 2012 10:56 PM
Well ... I am over-fuckin'-whelmed !!
Posted by: Vincent Hanna at January 15, 2012 08:29 PM (Y+DPZ)
Mancard. Now.
I keed, I kid!
You might be able to pick up more women with a doggeh. Just sayin'.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 08:30 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 08:30 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:30 PM (loM0R)
Wow, flashback to the 80s. I loved that story.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 08:30 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:30 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 16, 2012 12:26 AM (digkk)
i know exactly what you mean!
i do rescues like that with difficult horses. some personalities were not meant for everyone.
Posted by: gushie goes ginger by request at January 15, 2012 08:30 PM (QNeKQ)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 08:32 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 11:50 PM (E+E+p)
Hmm, this does bring up the amusing possibility of wearing the wedding ring while not being married. I can already feel the evil course through me just thinking about it. Muhaha. Ok, not so much.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 08:32 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:32 PM (loM0R)
And Perry is on fire: Hit the NLRB ( and the justice dept), welfare abuse, taxes, manufacturing...
Too damned bad virtually nobody was watching it last night!!!! WTF, Huck?!
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 08:32 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: rdbrewer at January 15, 2012 08:33 PM (/0Ku/)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:34 PM (loM0R)
I've known guys who do that.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:34 PM (+1TUS)
Ha! Has she found anyone yet? I noticed my ex had no trouble replacing me.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 08:34 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:34 PM (digkk)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 08:35 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 08:35 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: Theresa at January 16, 2012 12:01 AM (ejSrN)
Meh, not really.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 08:35 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:35 PM (loM0R)
Dear Omni forum,
I never thought this would happen to me, but I was was alone in the Transporter plasma diffuser tunnel when suddenly a young Orion materialized in front of me .....
Posted by: Scotty, USS Enterprise at January 15, 2012 08:36 PM (Y+DPZ)
What say the moronettes?
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 08:37 PM (3aXbg)
Actually I take that back. I was probably better informed with Omni.
Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at January 15, 2012 08:37 PM (QQAJP)
Well, most people are not honest with themselves when it comes to love. Often times your friends and family can tell before you when you're in an unhealthy relationship. They also may know you well enough to know the kind of person who would be a good match for your personality. I would guess as well that arranged marriages occur in social circles where there is a greater emphasis on maintaining the marriage through hardship and subsequently there is significant pressure from families on both sides for the couple to work out any differences.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:38 PM (+1TUS)
Peter Dinklage might have started off his Golden Globes acceptance speech Sunday night with a charming anecdote about his mother telling him Guy Pearce was going to beat him for the best supporting TV actor award, but he ended it on a serious note. The "Game of Thrones" star gave a shout-out to fellow dwarf Martin Henderson but, rather then elaborating, he just said "Google him."
Within minutes, Henderson's name was a trending topic on Twitter. The aspiring actor was partially paralyzed on his birthday after a drunk stranger picked him up and threw him while he was having a cigarette outside a pub in the U.K. Henderson blames the English rugby team players who recently attended a dwarf-tossing contest during the rugby World Cup in New Zealand for inspiring the attack.
British authorities are currently looking for the man who assaulted Henderson.
By rolling for Detect Evil.....
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 15, 2012 08:38 PM (3wBRE)
You will immediately embarrass her with the compliment. You have a nice smile or pretty eyes is a little better.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2012 08:39 PM (piMMO)
@395: "Ha! Has she found anyone yet? I noticed my ex had no trouble replacing me."
No offense, but you're Chinese. There's like a billion of you.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 15, 2012 08:39 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Alex at January 16, 2012 12:07 AM (+1TUS)
The local school system offers adult classes in things like that.
But...my hobbies and interests really lean towards the stereotypical male things. So, the question is try something to meet the other sex, or try something fun.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 08:39 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:39 PM (digkk)
Ha! Has she found anyone yet? I noticed my ex had no trouble replacing me.
Posted by: Rum at January 16, 2012 12:34 AM (E+E+p)
Some cheesy line about him finding another girl but there being no replacement for you seems appropriate
Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2012 08:39 PM (GULKT)
It's all the same to you Raykon, but I'll stay with having sex with humans
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 08:39 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:40 PM (loM0R)
@399: "Girls and guys, humans and animals, we are all the same. Face the facts."
This message brought to you by PETA.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 15, 2012 08:40 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: marybel at January 15, 2012 08:40 PM (QGwv0)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 08:40 PM (k/83o)
Find the most masculine thing that allows you to meet the other sex. Here's the thing, it doesn't really matter what you choose. Diving headlong into it, learning how to do it well, and conquering it is masculine, no matter what the activity is.
That said, ballroom/tango/swing dancing is actually quite manly. If you don't believe me, watch Scent of a Woman.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:42 PM (+1TUS)
@411: "But...my hobbies and interests really lean towards the stereotypical male things. So, the question is try something to meet the other sex, or try something fun."
Just get a plain white van, dress shabbily, and ask them "Does this rag smell like chloroform?" Works *every* time.
Posted by: Bed Tundy at January 15, 2012 08:43 PM (2xfbm)
I say, go for it, Chemjeff!
Posted by: Theresa at January 16, 2012 12:33 AM
I have two kittehs and they'll have to pry my Man Card from my cold dead hands.
You'll be surprised how much love a kitteh can return if you pay attention to it.
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 08:44 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:44 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 08:44 PM (k/83o)
See lines feel...wrong... to me. I'm confident enough. But picking something, probably corny, to say to someone? Ugh.
Put me in a social setting where I don't have to do that and I do fine.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 08:44 PM (3aXbg)
I always thought that Clark Griswold handled this situation perfectly.
http://tinyurl.com/5k727e
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 16, 2012 12:35 AM (j+Izh)
Can't see the line, can you Russ?
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 08:44 PM (4q5tP)
The next year, my roommates and I were having a party, and that collage was on the wall of our living room. Three guys I didn't know came in, and they were obviously tripping on some hallucinogenic. They saw that collage and stood in front of it for hours. They must have said "wow" a hundred times.
Posted by: rdbrewer at January 15, 2012 08:44 PM (/0Ku/)
@414: "It's all the same to you Raykon, but I'll stay with having sex with humans"
So, how you doing? And I see by your name that you're a bear. I like a hairy man.
Posted by: Barney Frank at January 15, 2012 08:45 PM (2xfbm)
Put me in a social setting where I don't have to do that and I do fine.
The point of lines is to merely break the ice. Your supposed to use them to get her attention, but that's it. The rest of it is up to you.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:46 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Alex at January 16, 2012 12:42 AM
Or listen to it in my case ...
And if you don't believe him ... FUCK YOU TOO !!!!
Posted by: Lt Col Frank Slade at January 15, 2012 08:46 PM (Y+DPZ)
Ha! Has she found anyone yet? I noticed my ex had no trouble replacing me.
Posted by: Rum at January 16, 2012 12:34 AM (E+E+p)
There is just no way he "replaced" you. He just found someone that was a different fit for the place that women occupy in his life.......someone more pliable, perhaps, with less stompy boots.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 08:47 PM (kaalw)
Well played, well played.
But he replaced with me with a white girl. Maybe I was too much Asian for him.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 08:47 PM (E+E+p)
@421: "That said, ballroom/tango/swing dancing is actually quite manly. If you don't believe me, watch Scent of a Woman"
I call bullshit! I watched two movies with "Tango" in the title: Last Tango In Paris and Tango & Cash. The first turned me gay, the second gave my "friend" a business idea, but neither were exactly manly.
Posted by: Barney Frank at January 15, 2012 08:47 PM (2xfbm)
I've always hated that movie. I thought it was insulting to both straights and gays.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:48 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: marybel at January 15, 2012 08:48 PM (QGwv0)
Posted by: chemjeff at January 16, 2012 12:43 AM (7FadD)
Politics (and I live in a blue state)
History
Astronomy/Physics
Video Games
Football
Stereotypically guy movies (LotR, 300, Various Superhero flicks, etc)
And I work in the software industry, so a pretty male dominated field.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 08:48 PM (3aXbg)
Men do NOT dance.
Posted by: Masculinity tape from In and Out at January 16, 2012 12:45 AM
Says you !!!!
Posted by: Gene Kelly at January 15, 2012 08:48 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:50 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 08:50 PM (digkk)
Posted by: marybel at January 16, 2012 12:40 AM (QGwv0)
Don't know any pits, I gather.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 08:50 PM (kaalw)
Agreed - it was a horrible, horrible movie and because of it, I cannot look at Tom Selleck the same way ever again.
The only somewhat funny part of that movie was the tape session. Even then it got it wrong, as Arnold *did* (maybe still does?) dance.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 08:51 PM (UR5vq)
@428: "See lines feel...wrong... to me. I'm confident enough. But picking something, probably corny, to say to someone? Ugh.
Put me in a social setting where I don't have to do that and I do fine."
Try AA meetings. You know that they party, and you'll already have a topic to talk about. And to quote myself: "It's social. Demented and sad, but social."
Posted by: John Bender at January 15, 2012 08:51 PM (2xfbm)
You mean, like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkaaOei6oZ8
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:52 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 15, 2012 08:52 PM (ULADD)
Posted by: Rum at January 16, 2012 12:47 AM
David Bowie - China Girl
Posted by: Gene Kelly at January 15, 2012 08:52 PM (Y+DPZ)
I had to watch it for school. Yes, for school.
I don't remember that much about it, only that Kevin Kline was the lead.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 08:52 PM (E+E+p)
@437: "But he replaced with me with a white girl. Maybe I was too much Asian for him"
Ahh, I see. Stupid gwai lo bitches are the worst.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 15, 2012 08:53 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 08:53 PM (k/83o)
----
The bitch set me up! I did not have have sex with that dog!
Posted by: Jack Russell at January 15, 2012 08:54 PM (ULADD)
what are your hobbies, 18-1?
Posted by: chemjeff at January 16, 2012 12:43 AM (7FadD)
Politics (and I live in a blue state)
History
Astronomy/Physics
Video Games
Football
Stereotypically guy movies (LotR, 300, Various Superhero flicks, etc)
And I work in the software industry, so a pretty male dominated field.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 16, 2012 12:48 AM (3aXbg)
18-1 looks like you'll need to move in next door to a pretty blonde girl who waits tables at the Cheesecake Factory while waiting for her big break. Invite her over to share Chinese with you, your genius but socially maladapted roomate, and some other loveable goofballs from work. It'll work, trust me.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 15, 2012 08:54 PM (4q5tP)
Posted by: Football and Cats at January 15, 2012 08:54 PM (HEL24)
He'll give you the thumbs up as he passes you on the Atlanta freeways in his Mercedes AMG
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 08:54 PM (Y+DPZ)
@442: "Astronomy/Physics"
Find a local astronomy club. Social, and there are often a surprising number of ladies.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 15, 2012 08:55 PM (2xfbm)
I don't remember that much about it, only that Kevin Kline was the lead.
Kevin Kline is a teacher living a quiet life with his fiance when a former student 'outs' him on national television. Tom Selleck plays a journalist who decides to convince Kline's character that he is in fact gay. It's a horrible film.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 08:55 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Rum at January 16, 2012 12:47 AM (E+E+p)
I can well believe that you were too much woman for him, but too much Asian?.......er.......
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 08:56 PM (kaalw)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:56 PM (loM0R)
Hahaha! I refer back to last night's sock I had on.
I did freak him out by ordering a steamed fish at a Chinese restaurant. He didn't like that the fish came out with head and fins attached.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 08:57 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:58 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Rum at January 16, 2012 12:56 AM (E+E+p)
If trolls are outlawed, only outlaws will have trolls.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 08:59 PM (kaalw)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 08:59 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:00 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:01 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: Alex
This is actually how one of my dear nephews met his now wife, and she's pretty awesome.Seriously, there are lots of women who share your same hobbies and interests, so joining a group in your area sounds like a pretty great idea.
Posted by: Theresa at January 15, 2012 09:02 PM (ejSrN)
Posted by: Rum at January 16, 2012 12:56 AM (E+E+p)
No more new laws, banning pretty much anything, except for that one. What's your stand on the preservation and display of collected trophies under said proposed law? I may subscribe to your newsletter.
Posted by: StPatrick_TN at January 15, 2012 09:03 PM (lJJMb)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:04 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: joncelli at January 15, 2012 09:05 PM (+MbqG)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:05 PM (digkk)
You mean these type of trolls?
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 16, 2012 01:04 AM (UR5vq)
It's too bad we can't associate a specific one with a specific hashtag.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 09:06 PM (kaalw)
Posted by: Theresa at January 15, 2012 09:07 PM (ejSrN)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 16, 2012 01:00 AM (digkk)
Heh, I've got an ex that wouldn't complain about Planetarium time.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 09:08 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:08 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 09:08 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:09 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Max Power at January 15, 2012 09:09 PM (+wxCD)
Posted by: Allstate Mayhem Guy at January 15, 2012 09:09 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 09:09 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 09:10 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at January 15, 2012 09:10 PM (eFnXz)
Women who are into that kind of stuff are usually somewhat geeky, and don't have the stuck up princess attitude. They're also really handy, since they often learn how to cook and sew and do whatever else is necessary.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 09:11 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:11 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: Theresa at January 15, 2012 09:11 PM (ejSrN)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 09:12 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:12 PM (digkk)
I saw that a while ago. I am not sue which is more frightening, that a company is offering this program or that people might agree to participate in the program.
If someone wants to volunteer to participate in order to lower their insurance payments, more power to them. I just fear that it'll give some politician the bright idea to mandate it.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 09:13 PM (+1TUS)
I'm your kinky sex therapist and I've just inserted the Geico lizard up Flo's squeakhole and now all hell has broken loose.
Think your 15 minute insurance will cover that?
Get Allstate and protect yourself from Mayhem ... like me
Posted by: Allstate Mayhem Guy at January 15, 2012 09:15 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: AM at January 15, 2012 09:15 PM (UR5vq)
The last time I met a woman in a coffee shop (it was a blind date), she told me Hitler wasn't all bad - and then wondered why I wasn't calling her back.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 09:16 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 09:16 PM (loM0R)
Flo seems like the kind of gal who drives past your house at 2am because you didn't return her phone calls and so she's spent the last four hours building up an increasingly disturbing fantasy in her head where you are having a torrid affair with some slut you met in the bar when in reality you just left your phone in your car and are currently passed out on the couch in your underwear.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 09:16 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:16 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:17 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: AM at January 16, 2012 01:15 AM (UR5vq)
Nice literary reference.
Posted by: I have no nose and I must sneeze. at January 15, 2012 09:17 PM (kaalw)
Both of my sisters-in-law have actually told me how difficult getting used to our family was for them when they first got married to my brothers.
Posted by: Theresa at January 15, 2012 09:18 PM (ejSrN)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 09:18 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2012 09:19 PM (I2LwF)
Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2012 12:10 AM (PKotO)
I have an American Pit/Border Collie `bout 90 lbs and he aint no ankle biter. Friend of mine has Blue Heelers to work his cows with and I can assure you his male will catch your ass and not by the ankle.
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 15, 2012 09:19 PM (EP6th)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:20 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:20 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 09:20 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:22 PM (digkk)
Posted by: the naddler at January 15, 2012 09:23 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:26 PM (k/83o)
Think your 15 minute maritime insurance will pay for this?
Get Allstate and protect yourself from Mayhem ... like me
Posted by: Allstate Mayhem Guy at January 15, 2012 09:26 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 16, 2012 01:22 AM (digkk)
You would think that a Sweater Full of Mischief might get trolls with more than a 'C' cup......and you might be right.
Pity that it doesn't guarantee them being female, though.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 09:27 PM (kaalw)
I have no bloody idea. You'd think they'd tire of the abuse, but they keep coming back for more. Ack, I've expended enough effort on the subject...
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 15, 2012 09:28 PM (UR5vq)
Posted by: the naddler at January 15, 2012 09:28 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:28 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: Allstate Mayhem Guy at January 16, 2012 01:26 AM (Y+DPZ)
Hey, don't blame us. That's a DNV classed vessel.
Posted by: ABS at January 15, 2012 09:30 PM (Ba7Wl)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:30 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: the naddler at January 15, 2012 09:31 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 09:32 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: the naddler at January 15, 2012 09:33 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:33 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 09:35 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Gillette at January 15, 2012 09:35 PM (j+Izh)
I'm a troll with an affinity for bestiality and I've just sneaked into the monkey cages at the zoo for some fun with Cheetah. Unfortunately I'm not only a monkey fucker but I'm also an idiot and I've left the cage doors open. Now the face ripping chimps are out on the street and even the gangbangers are running indoors
Think your 15 minute insurance will cover this perv's idiocy?
Get Allstate and protect yourself from Mayhem .. like me
Posted by: Allstate Mayhem Guy at January 15, 2012 09:35 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 16, 2012 01:32 AM (j+Izh)
You wouldn't happen to look like a pastey faced fat guy with a beard, would ya?
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 09:36 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: the naddler at January 16, 2012 01:33 AM (loM0R)
The cheese maiden will be mine!
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 09:39 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:40 PM (digkk)
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 15, 2012 09:41 PM (EP6th)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:41 PM (digkk)
In my case it was 180 degrees opposite, probably just to piss her father off. lol
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 09:42 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 09:43 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 16, 2012 01:41 AM (digkk)
That's what she said...oh wait, that is what she said.
Posted by: 18-1 at January 15, 2012 09:44 PM (3aXbg)
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 09:45 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 09:45 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 01:45 AM (FMbng)
Why hello there.
Posted by: Hot creepy chick with a carving knife at January 15, 2012 09:46 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:47 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:48 PM (digkk)
Posted by: 18-1 at January 16, 2012 01:40 AM (3aXbg)
===
So, are you looking for fun or some sort of a real deal?
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 09:49 PM (ufJKx)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:50 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Gillette at January 15, 2012 09:51 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 09:52 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 09:53 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 16, 2012 01:52 AM (digkk)
===
I know one really good way for a guy looking for the real deal. Looks like I'm too late. Maybe some other time.
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 09:54 PM (ufJKx)
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 01:50 AM (ufJKx)
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 09:54 PM (4ixH5)
Still here. Just had nothing to add to the current topic.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 09:56 PM (E+E+p)
Why hello there.
No carving knives, but every once in a while it would involve scissors or wardrobe.
Did you ever think of cutting your hair?
um...no bitch, not gonna cut my hair, oh btw, your hair is shorter than mine, you look like a dyke... next
Hey how come you don't wear nice shirts, instead of black T shirts with skulls, or creepy shit?
Um... you do know what I do for a living right? I seen the way you dressed your last boyfreind, yeah he look retarded btw, maybe you need a fucking ken doll or a mannequin to play with...next
etc etc
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 09:58 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 09:58 PM (+1TUS)
Think your 15 minute insurance will pay for all that?
Get Allstate and protect yourself from Mayhem ... like me
Posted by: Allstate Mayhem Guy at January 15, 2012 09:59 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 01:54 AM (4ixH5)
I thought it was "begin the candles, light the prisoners, gag the ritual."
All these years I've been steering the cultists wrong......
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 10:02 PM (kaalw)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:02 PM (digkk)
I can imagine. I was talking about that last night. That is a tough ass instrument to master. I fix them, and that I'm good at, but I never had the urge to play one, and if I even attempt to drag a bow on the strings to test one it sounds like 2 cats fucking and 2 dogs watching.
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 10:03 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 10:04 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:04 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 10:05 PM (k/83o)
Probably not, but I'll have fun trying.
I can imagine. I was talking about that last night. That is a tough ass instrument to master. I fix them, and that I'm good at, but I never had the urge to play one, and if I even attempt to drag a bow on the strings to test one it sounds like 2 cats fucking and 2 dogs watching.
Yeah, mine sounds more like two cats making love. A very subtle difference
.Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 10:06 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 10:06 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 10:07 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:07 PM (digkk)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 10:08 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Rum at January 16, 2012 01:56 AM (E+E+p)
Are those new boots?
Posted by: Monty Python at January 15, 2012 10:09 PM (1ECZx)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:09 PM (digkk)
All these years I've been steering the cultists wrong......
Posted by: cthulhu at January 16, 2012 02:02 AM (kaalw)
You drive people into madness. I guess they assume it's all part of the deal.
um...no bitch, not gonna cut my hair, oh btw, your hair is shorter than mine, you look like a dyke... next
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 01:58 AM (FMbng)
The bowl cut, the official hairstyle of manhating lezzies everywhere.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 10:09 PM (4ixH5)
@569: "Ladies, Vera is pretty but she also has a truth"
That's a tale for another time. Now, if you'll excuse me, my ice cubes are getting dry....
Posted by: Joe Odom, heading for the door at January 15, 2012 10:10 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 16, 2012 02:07 AM (digkk)
I miss Skinemax. Taught me all about the birds and the bees.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 10:11 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 10:11 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:12 PM (digkk)
Dagnabbit, half y'all's prollem is that yer jest too damn uppity. That thar's a fiddle, boy.
Posted by: Billy Joe Jim Bob at January 15, 2012 10:13 PM (2xfbm)
The ad agency probably has people googling the internet to steal the good stuff.
Dennis Miller said he found out the extent of comics stealing material from unknowns when he went to L.A. with jokes he told in Pittsburgh and was accused of ripping off jokes some comic stole from him
Posted by: kbdabear at January 15, 2012 10:14 PM (Y+DPZ)
Think your 15-minute space mining insurance will pay for that?
Get Allstate and protect yourself from Mayhem ... like me.
Posted by: Allstate Space Mayhem Guy at January 15, 2012 10:15 PM (6SKSx)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 10:15 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 16, 2012 02:04 AM (j+Izh)
Takes all 6 min. to hear all the chickin pickin going on. LOL
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 15, 2012 10:15 PM (EP6th)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:15 PM (digkk)
@595: "Why cant we all just love each other?"
Orgy etiquette is a tricky thing to master, and most folks fuck it up, leading to hurt feelings.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 15, 2012 10:16 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 10:16 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 16, 2012 02:14 AM
Hey homes, I went back to the guys in Chino I stole my jokes from and told them they sucked!
Posted by: Carlos Mencia at January 15, 2012 10:17 PM (Y+DPZ)
lol, don't worry about it. It doesn't bother me at all. It took me awhile to even want to consider dating again. I'm glad he's some other girl's problem and not mine.
Posted by: Rum at January 15, 2012 10:18 PM (E+E+p)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 10:18 PM (j+Izh)
Nah, I'm not such a perfectionist that everything sounds like crap to me.
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 10:19 PM (+1TUS)
@603: Takes all 6 min. to hear all the chickin pickin going on
I was sittin' pickin' chickens
And I'm looking through the pickins'
When suddenly these goys break down my walls
I didn't even know them
And they grab me by the scrotum
And they started playing ping-pong with my balls
Oy the agony
Oh the shame
To make your privates public for a game!
Posted by: Jackie Mason in manacles at January 15, 2012 10:20 PM (2xfbm)
All the leading challengers for the White House have staked out positions on global warming that defy the international scientific consensus, causing what Thomas Legge, a climate officer for the German Marshall Fund, called “exasperation” in Brussels.
Climate Action Commissioner Connie Hedegaard said in September she was concerned for her own job and that there may be no future for hundreds of government sycophants in climate related activities.
Posted by: Al Gore at January 15, 2012 10:20 PM (e8kgV)
Posted by: Alex at January 15, 2012 10:21 PM (+1TUS)
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 10:21 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: Bick at January 15, 2012 10:22 PM (k/83o)
Posted by: vika ut sig at January 15, 2012 10:23 PM (gvlTU)
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 02:21 AM
Ye ain't 'eard nothin', laddie!
Posted by: The Bagpipes at January 15, 2012 10:23 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:23 PM (digkk)
@616: "Violin is the easiest instrument on the planet to make sound really frigging bad."
To quote John Bender from Breakfast Club: "Not even close, bud."
Posted by: Bagpipes at January 15, 2012 10:25 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:25 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 02:21 AM
Ye ain't 'eard nothin', laddie!
Posted by: The Bagpipes at January 16, 2012 02:23 AM (Y+DPZ)
=========
maybe we could find a way to cross a violin with bagpipes. we could use it to torture people who piss us off.
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 10:25 PM (ufJKx)
@621: "As we speak, my violin is sitting in its stand mocking me with a screech that only I can hear "
You should play solo. So low we can't hear you.....
Posted by: Old Joke at January 15, 2012 10:26 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: vika ut sig at January 15, 2012 10:27 PM (gvlTU)
The 2 things that screw me up is how damn close the notes are to each other. I'm used to 40 years of guitar, and 2 of my fingers crammed together spans 3 notes.
the other thing is the damn bow, it has to track perfectly at the right distance from the bridge. Just a shitload of stuff going on.
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 10:27 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 02:21 AM
Meme pas proche!
Posted by: Accordions at January 15, 2012 10:27 PM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:28 PM (digkk)
What would we call it? A voilpipe.....vilepipe? or a baglin? lol
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 10:29 PM (FMbng)
maybe we could find a way to cross a violin with bagpipes. we could use it to torture people who piss us off.
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 02:25 AM (ufJKx)
The bagolin?
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 10:30 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:31 PM (digkk)
@634: "But 5 year old Aisian kids do it. What I really need is a Tiger Mother."
And a haircut like Moe from the Three Stooges!
Posted by: Older Joke at January 15, 2012 10:32 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:34 PM (digkk)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 10:36 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: Area Bassist Fellated at January 15, 2012 10:37 PM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 15, 2012 10:38 PM (2xfbm)
Billy & The Boingers, muthafucka!!!!
Posted by: P. Opus
Please. Only the electric tongue held that band together.
Posted by: Bill the Cat at January 15, 2012 10:39 PM (6SKSx)
Posted by: Area Bassist Fellated at January 16, 2012 02:37 AM (2xfbm)
That's ridiculous, everyone knows bass players don't get laid.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 10:40 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Keef Richards at January 15, 2012 10:40 PM (1ECZx)
Loved Gettysburg.
Gods and Generals could have been better. Do really want to see this new director's cut, though.
Damn, I wish I were a slutty teenage girl so I could flash my tits and get someone to buy it for me.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 10:41 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: EXCITED! at January 15, 2012 10:43 PM (H3nQ6)
Posted by: Area Bassist Fellated at January 16, 2012 02:37 AM (2xfbm)
===
I've owned a lot of basses for a long time and I've never tried to fuck even one of them.
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 10:44 PM (ufJKx)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:45 PM (digkk)
@644: "That's ridiculous, everyone knows bass players don't get laid. "
Allow me to correct your misapprehension.
Posted by: Gene Simmons at January 15, 2012 10:46 PM (2xfbm)
@649: "I've owned a lot of basses for a long time and I've never tried to fuck even one of them."
Then you, my friend, have never *really* lived.
Posted by: Derek Smalls at January 15, 2012 10:47 PM (2xfbm)
Allow me to correct your misapprehension.
Posted by: Gene Simmons at January 16, 2012 02:46 AM (2xfbm)
Well it's not a firm rule.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 10:49 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 16, 2012 02:45 AM (digkk)
I do really like the opening song with all the flags waving.
Just needs double bass and some death grunts and it would be perfect.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 10:50 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:50 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Jypsea Rose at January 15, 2012 10:52 PM (digkk)
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 10:56 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 15, 2012 10:58 PM (loM0R)
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2012 02:58 AM (loM0R)
Why can't I have problems like this?
When will I get to see the GOD! DAMNED! SAILBOAT?!?!?
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:00 PM (4ixH5)
Quick, someone invoke the incantation that summons Gushie and Tammy!
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:04 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 16, 2012 03:04 AM (kaalw)
I think we're alone now.
There doesn't seem to be any one aroo-hhouund!!!
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:04 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 11:06 PM (kaalw)
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 03:04 AM (4ixH5)
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"Oh, wait -- that's me.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 15, 2012 11:08 PM (kaalw)
Posted by: epobirs at January 15, 2012 11:08 PM (kcfmt)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 11:10 PM (j+Izh)
Quick, someone invoke the incantation that summons Gushie and Tammy!
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 03:04 AM (4ixH5)
===
seem to be missing the bean, too.
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 11:11 PM (ufJKx)
Oh, wait -- that's me.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 16, 2012 03:08 AM (kaalw)
Maybe...Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Gushie Calibonedya wgah'nagl fhtagn
*Crosses fingers*
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:12 PM (4ixH5)
Hmm, nothing. Guess it only works for insurance agents.
Posted by: epobirs at January 15, 2012 11:12 PM (kcfmt)
Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2012 03:08 AM (kcfmt)
Tell us about the kind of socks you wear.
seem to be missing the bean, too.
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 03:11 AM (ufJKx)
Probably picking up some hot boating babes.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:13 PM (4ixH5)
I started it a couple of months ago but haven't touched it for a few weeks.
Posted by: epobirs at January 15, 2012 11:13 PM (kcfmt)
Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2012 03:12 AM (kcfmt)
I wonder what would happen if...
Like a good neighbor, Allstate is there!
*Black hole opens, consumes France*
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:15 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 03:14 AM (FMbng)
I imagine boating babes need luvins year round. 
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:16 PM (4ixH5)
@678: "(Warning: Mandatory and gratuitous Happy Ending to follow.)"
This one time, at band camp.....
Posted by: Alyson Hannigan at January 15, 2012 11:18 PM (2xfbm)
yeah I was just imagining hanging around the docks in 20 degree weather saying shit like hey babe I got a boat. lol
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 11:20 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2012 03:19 AM (kcfmt
==
State Farm is a good name for a chain gang.
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 11:21 PM (ufJKx)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 11:23 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 11:26 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 03:20 AM (FMbng)
Snow bunnies!
State Farm is a good name for a chain gang.
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 03:21 AM (ufJKx)
Progressive is a good description of a gang bang.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:26 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:27 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:27 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 11:29 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 11:34 PM (j+Izh)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 16, 2012 03:34 AM (j+Izh)
Here is your coupon for one free internet.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:37 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 03:37 AM (ufJKx)
You have ventured into the recesses of my brain and plucked out the very thing staring ino my mind's eye.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:39 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:41 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 03:41 AM (4ixH5)
===
they seem to get stuck on the step where they have to make amends to everyone that didn't get it good enough.
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 11:48 PM (ufJKx)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 15, 2012 11:49 PM (j+Izh)
they seem to get stuck on the step where they have to make amends to everyone that didn't get it good enough.
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 03:48 AM (ufJKx)
The spankings will continue until morale improves?
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:50 PM (4ixH5)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 16, 2012 03:49 AM (j+Izh)
Being forced to browse through nude photos of Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah.
Posted by: Robert at January 15, 2012 11:51 PM (4ixH5)
Being forced to browse through nude photos of Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah.
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 03:51 AM (4ixH5)
===
but that does give you a chance to think about what kind of a new sofa you might like.
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 11:54 PM (ufJKx)
good god man. That would make your dick pull such a quick 180 it would look like you had a vayjay. lol
Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2012 11:55 PM (FMbng)
Posted by: EBL at January 15, 2012 11:56 PM (UwxZ1)
@706: "What would be "the patch" equivalent of sex? I think we already know that it's not masturbation."
Saltpeter. To quote the old WWII joke:
Saltpeter, it goes in my coffee
Saltpeter, it goes in my tea
Lord, bring back my manhood to me.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 15, 2012 11:58 PM (2xfbm)
Which in turn would make you far more interesting to Rosie and Oprah.
Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2012 03:57 AM (kcfmt)
===
And, it would make him far more interesting than Rosie and Oprah as well.
Posted by: jc at January 15, 2012 11:59 PM (ufJKx)
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 16, 2012 12:01 AM (EP6th)
but that does give you a chance to think about what kind of a new sofa you might like.
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 03:54 AM (ufJKx)
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 12:02 AM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 03:55 AM (FMbng)
That doesn't happen until you get to the threeway between them and Whoopi Goldberg.
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 12:03 AM (4ixH5)
Did you work at Abu Grahib or Guantanamo Robert? Quite a mean streak you have there.
Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2012 12:04 AM (BhuDE)
I think at that point the self destruct would be counting down
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 12:06 AM (FMbng)
Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2012 04:04 AM (BhuDE)
That guy that had the car battery hooked up to his nipples and standing on a box?
Yeah, that was me.
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 12:06 AM (4ixH5)
Posted by: Berserker at January 16, 2012 04:06 AM (FMbng)
When it gets to 0, Joy Behar jumps in with a bottle of baby oil.
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 12:07 AM (4ixH5)
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 16, 2012 04:01 AM (EP6th)
===
didya know they have a facebook page? strikes me really goofy.
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 12:08 AM (ufJKx)
Party time.
As you can tell, I'm all broken up over this.
Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2012 12:12 AM (BhuDE)
But what if you drive head first into a brick wall? At the age of 22?
Would that be considered timely or untimely? I mean, suicide in general, you would think the people that do it die right when they mean to and not a minute later. So...timely.
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 12:12 AM (4ixH5)
Posted by: vanderleun at January 16, 2012 12:13 AM (P2Yba)
Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2012 04:12 AM (BhuDE)
We all handle grief differently.
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 12:14 AM (4ixH5)
The whole thing makes other weird shit jump in my head, too. Do proctologists have Assbook pages? Do plastic surgeons have Faceliftbook pages? Or maybe Boobjobbook pages?
Posted by: jc at January 16, 2012 12:18 AM (ufJKx)
@723: "Ya know, what would qualify as a timely death?"
Astronaut in a rocket that detonates on the pad right at the count of zero?
Billionaire who dies immedately after spending his final penny, having blown the lot on wine, women, and song?
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 16, 2012 12:20 AM (2xfbm)
Posted by: Robert at January 16, 2012 04:10 AM (4ixH5)
Cant sell it without a disqualifier.
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 16, 2012 12:22 AM (EP6th)
Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2012 12:23 AM (kcfmt)
@729: "The whole thing makes other weird shit jump in my head, too. Do proctologists have Assbook pages? Do plastic surgeons have Faceliftbook pages? Or maybe Boobjobbook pages?"
I have a Facesbook page
Posted by: Rod Stewart at January 16, 2012 12:24 AM (2xfbm)
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 16, 2012 12:26 AM (EP6th)
Go 41 rounds with me, then see what shape your head is in.
Posted by: Joe Frazier at January 16, 2012 12:29 AM (tRFjx)
Maybe they`re trying to hook up some conjugal visits, jc
They have had that pen-pal shit going on for years.
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 16, 2012 12:31 AM (EP6th)
Something to show your kid if he announces he want to take up getting pummeled for a living.
Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2012 12:46 AM (kcfmt)
Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2012 04:46 AM (kcfmt)
main reason why MMA is a hell of a lot safer
Posted by: The Dude at January 16, 2012 12:49 AM (M8yfa)
I read that wrong, a timely death in Raiford was when you had your last meal, then were strapped down in the chair at 4:45 P.M., then the switch was pulled. Timely.
Posted by: rightlysouthern at January 16, 2012 12:50 AM (EP6th)
Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2012 12:51 AM (kcfmt)
Desk officer says, "Can you describe them?"
Turtle says, "I dunno. It all happened so fast."
That's all I got.
Posted by: Hammersmith Police at January 16, 2012 02:01 AM (Onw8c)
Could someone please pass me a piece of chocolate cake? No, not that one. The big one with frosting. Chocolate cake! It's what's for breakfast.
Kinda like stop smoking commercials. I light a cig every time one comes on.
Posted by: Hammersmith Police at January 16, 2012 02:08 AM (Onw8c)
Come here Skippy. Let me show you how to type. You are gonna really dig
the ONT at Ace's place.
ghjgggggghj;wawAGHJGKhgwgE;enk;leneffeehj;vkcnvn:AFN.
Good dog.
Posted by: Hammersmith Police at January 16, 2012 02:12 AM (Onw8c)
Why, yes I would, thank you. My comment is, Dogs are so dumb.
Posted by: Hammersmith Police at January 16, 2012 02:17 AM (Onw8c)
Posted by: Hammersmith Police at January 16, 2012 02:36 AM (Onw8c)
Posted by: Kitty at January 16, 2012 02:47 AM (Onw8c)
teh eating. Who would piss in their food? Ummm, shoes. They're what's for breakfast"
I think that is what he said. But I could be wrong. It is kind of hard understanding Skippy when he's got a mouthful of my Sunday shoe.
Posted by: Hammersmith Police at January 16, 2012 02:55 AM (Onw8c)
Why didn't someone tell me this before? It's lights out then.
Posted by: Hammersmith Police at January 16, 2012 03:05 AM (Onw8c)
even while your stupid dog, Skippy is chewing on it.
Posted by: Kitty at January 16, 2012 03:09 AM (Onw8c)
(Mumble, mumble. Turning off the lights along the way).
Posted by: Hammersmith Police at January 16, 2012 03:18 AM (Onw8c)
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Posted by: L Rob in OK at January 15, 2012 06:42 PM (7yvLv)