Ace of Spades HQ

March 20, 2012

Alan Grayson Beclowns Himself, Again
— Ace

See if you can spot where he runs a red light and crashes into a bus.

He's trying to pretend that Democrats stand for liberty, contrasting himself with Santorum's statements which he'd characterize as anti-liberty.

Is this pro-liberty? Mostly, it can be argued. But watch for it.

Rick, if you're against pornography, then don't watch it.
You see how that works? Let me give you some more examples.
If you're against contraception, don't use it.
If you're against abortion, don't have one.
If you're against Moslems, don't become one.
If you're against gay marriage, don't have one.
If you're against unions, don't join one.
If you're against universal health care, just keep your distance from doctors and hospitals.
If you're against homosexuality, then feel free to limit your sexual interest to the 3 billion human beings of the opposite gender.
What I'm basically trying to say to Rick Santorum, and everyone like Rick Santorum, is this: mind your own business.
Courage,
Alan Grayson

Politico, which published this, didn't even notice, of course.

A case could be made for many of Grayson's statements being, essentially, pro-choice.

Until he gets to universal health care -- a top-down, mandated-enrollment, government-controlled, no-escape-clause dream of the socialist left.

And there? There is his recommendation is, essentially, don't go to doctors or hospitals. In other words, never get sick.

You don't have to be a libertarian. But don't pose as pro-liberty and then smuggle in your support for socialized, statist government control.

Mark Oxner is taking on this shaved gorilla.

Posted by: Ace at 11:42 AM | Comments (214)
Post contains 264 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Mind your own business (but pay for mine).

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at March 20, 2012 11:44 AM (+lsX1)

2 Well, ole Alan isn't exactly famous for thinking things through.

Posted by: joncelli at March 20, 2012 11:44 AM (RD7QR)

3 If you're for murdering babies too stubborn to be aborted, then don't murder babies too stubborn to be aborted.

Posted by: Alan Hussien Grayson at March 20, 2012 11:44 AM (Vg4Vv)

4 wait. I mean, let's murder those fucking kids

Posted by: Alan Hussien Grayson at March 20, 2012 11:45 AM (Vg4Vv)

5 Alan....Your 15 minutes of fame are over. Please go away quietly.

Posted by: © Sponge at March 20, 2012 11:45 AM (UK9cE)

6 Don't like the constitution? Don't run for congress asshole.

Posted by: Ms Choksondik at March 20, 2012 11:45 AM (fYOZx)

7 Grayson should add "If you don't want to be elected, don't run red lights and ram buses with your Mercedes."

Posted by: Penfold at March 20, 2012 11:46 AM (1PeEC)

8 Other shit Grayson might have said:

If you're against Democrats, don't vote.

If you're against CO2 emissions, don't breath.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 20, 2012 11:47 AM (xKC/c)

9 Holy Prozac! To the Batpole!

Posted by: Dick Grayson at March 20, 2012 11:47 AM (iAUf+)

10 If you're against crashing into buses, don't drive through a bus terminal.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at March 20, 2012 11:47 AM (+lsX1)

11 >>If you're against contraception, don't use it.

But you're stuck paying for other people to use it. So not really a "pro-liberty" statement there.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 20, 2012 11:47 AM (ZKzrr)

12 Hey Alan how is your mercedes ?

Posted by: William Amos at March 20, 2012 11:48 AM (Ahyv0)

13 Don't want to get hit by former Congressmen driving their Mercedes Benzes? Don't ride the bus.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 11:48 AM (DrWcr)

14 Another one you forgot to Highlight: "If you're against unions - Don't join one." Unless you don't live in a right to work state and you are forced to join one, even if you are a Stay at home mom taking care of your disabled daughter and get Medicaid payments.

Posted by: Montana Girl at March 20, 2012 11:48 AM (OqmyH)

15 Yeah, as they used to sing on Sesame Street, "One of these things is not like the other!"

Posted by: Optimizer at March 20, 2012 11:48 AM (As94z)

16 If you're against injuring people whilel running on a red light on the way to a campaign rally, don't be Alan Grayson. You meant to tell me that he's still doubling down being an idiot after his accident?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 20, 2012 11:48 AM (t6b44)

17 "Courage"-- They cannot, NOT pat themselves on the back at every given turn.

Posted by: ktgreat at March 20, 2012 11:49 AM (TCTPY)

18 Rick Santorum has the better pro choice argument.

If you're in favor of contraception, buy your own. Don't force religions to pay for it to rub it in that the government is very powerful these days. Pro choice.

The health care gaffe is even nastier. But Grayson is unintentionally correct in a sense. Folks who want freedom are being forced into this by nannies who pretend we have a say.

Posted by: Dustin at March 20, 2012 11:49 AM (T9fdn)

19 >>But you're stuck paying for other people to use it. So not really a "pro-liberty" statement there.

Goes for his statement on unions, too. I'm not interested in joining SEIU, but they're really fucking interested in taking money from me.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 20, 2012 11:49 AM (ZKzrr)

20 MYOB can cut pretty hard going the other way, too. Politico pith. What a joke.

Posted by: I am the egg man, . . . at March 20, 2012 11:49 AM (tkAFc)

21 If you don't like your pets being raped, move out of my district.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 11:49 AM (Sh42X)

22 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at March 20, 2012 11:49 AM (8y9MW)

23 17 "Courage"--

They cannot, NOT pat themselves on the back at every given turn.

Posted by: ktgreat at March 20, 2012 03:49 PM (TCTPY)

Of course not. It's the Participation Trophy Party.

Posted by: joncelli at March 20, 2012 11:49 AM (RD7QR)

24 But Alan, why are you telling what I can and can't eat, what I can and can't own, where I can and can't start a union free business......

YOU sir.....YOU can mind your own business, asshole.

Posted by: © Sponge at March 20, 2012 11:50 AM (UK9cE)

Alan.

If you are against sharks, then stop jumping over them.

Posted by: Roy at March 20, 2012 11:50 AM (VndSC)

26 if you can't afford contraception or to raise kids, don't fuck and get pregnant or you get sterilized.

Posted by: X at March 20, 2012 11:50 AM (8Yc/9)

27 If you don't want to be called a communist asshole, don't be one.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] at March 20, 2012 11:50 AM (WdKsY)

If you're against universal health care, just keep your distance from doctors and hospitals.

I hate to point this out, but he's also saying "Pay for something you don't plan to use." (i.e. waste your hard earned dollars to support the freeloaders and illegals, but I repeat myself, in the US of A).

Posted by: Scott_T at March 20, 2012 11:50 AM (NmR1a)

29 Mr. Grayson:

I'm fine with avoiding pornography. Don't make me pay for yours.
I'm fine with avoiding birth control. Don't make me pay for yours.
I'm fine with avoiding abortion. Don't make me pay for yours.

Do you see how this is going?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at March 20, 2012 11:51 AM (8y9MW)

30 If you're against being robbed, don't let me put my hand in your pocket.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at March 20, 2012 11:51 AM (+lsX1)

31 If you're against douchebags, don't vote for Grayson.

Posted by: EC at March 20, 2012 11:51 AM (GQ8sn)

32 If you don't like the Alice Cooper song, "Under My Wheels", don't get in front of my Mercedes.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 20, 2012 11:51 AM (xKC/c)

How about:

Against slavery? Don't own slaves!

I want that on a bumper sticker.

Posted by: Grey Fox at March 20, 2012 11:51 AM (wMtef)

34 I think the funniest thing is that Grayson looks a LOT like that pic of Jessica Simpson posted yesterday.

Posted by: © Sponge at March 20, 2012 11:51 AM (UK9cE)

35 Now thats funny. A leftard, (as we all know leftards want to stick their noses into everyones business, if they can't run it, ruin it), telling somebody to mind their own business. I'll tell ya whut Grayson, you imbecile; When you leftard idiots mind your own business, and stop trying to mind everybody elses, I'll mind mine. Until that happens (not fucking likely) You can roast in Commie Hell. Minding your own business includes not taking my money to fund your latest lame brained scheme to save the world that really only needs you to STFU. If you want birth control You pay for it. If you get sick You pay for it. If you want to wear a white veil and take one up the hersey highway, then you pay for it. The best thing you could do for the world is just get the fuck outta it.

Posted by: maddogg at March 20, 2012 11:52 AM (OlN4e)

Wait, what about this??

"If you're against Moslems, don't become one." First of all the presumption is that "you're against Moslems". Second, even if the point is ceded that someone is "against Moslems" (which also presumes 'all' Muslims), this issue isn't "don't become one", but rather how we as non-Muslims can push back against sharia in our country, ask Muslims to denounce terror from their co-religionists, to give women equal rights, to stop advocating the murder of gays, apostates, non-'believers', etc etc etc, without us being branded as islamophobes.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at March 20, 2012 11:53 AM (+3fAP)

37 Evidently, Grayson was in the same logic, critical thinking and rational thought class as Obama.

Posted by: mare at March 20, 2012 11:53 AM (A98Xu)

And then there's that other thing, about how his party is not simply in favor of ALLOWING those various things - they equate "freedom" with FORCING other people to PAY FOR them.

Not to mention ObamaCare, where you are forced to pay, whether you go to those hospitals or not.

Posted by: Optimizer at March 20, 2012 11:54 AM (As94z)

39 Don't like mandated, government controlled health care?
FYNQ.

Posted by: real joe at March 20, 2012 11:54 AM (6RqG0)

40 If you don't like strawman arguments, don't quote me.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 20, 2012 11:54 AM (xKC/c)

41 "33 How about: Against slavery? Don't own slaves! I want that on a bumper sticker." HA! Against fat asses? Don't have one!

Posted by: mare at March 20, 2012 11:54 AM (A98Xu)

42 If you're against me rubbing myself on your leg, don't wear shorts.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at March 20, 2012 11:54 AM (+lsX1)

43 Alan Greyson is a bi-pedal anal polyp.

Posted by: garrett at March 20, 2012 11:55 AM (RBX/o)

44 If your against using baby brains for research, shoot your self

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 11:55 AM (Sh42X)

......"If you're against unions, don't join one.

Uh.....does this dickhead not know that union membership is mandatory in a lot of states? .....I guess he doesn't understand what a "Closed Shop" means.

Posted by: wheatie at March 20, 2012 11:55 AM (4GgJq)

I suppose part of my point is we are trying to avoid becoming "moslems".

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at March 20, 2012 11:56 AM (+3fAP)

47 Don't like stopping for red lights? Then don't stop!

Posted by: mare at March 20, 2012 11:56 AM (A98Xu)

48 >>Not to mention ObamaCare, where you are forced to pay, whether you go to those hospitals or not.

And no guarantee that the system you pay for will let you have treatment if you seek one.

Millions for Ortho-Slutcyclin, not one penny for neurosurgery for seniors.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 20, 2012 11:56 AM (ZKzrr)

Alan Grayson?

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Posted by: dananjcon at March 20, 2012 11:56 AM (8ieXv)

50 The end of his rant is the best part. "Mind your own business." If Democrats were the party of minding their own business, I'd join them.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 20, 2012 11:56 AM (jUytm)

51 It's almost too close to call but I think Grayson is even dumber than Biden. Plus he looks like a fucking perv.

Posted by: Captain Hate at March 20, 2012 11:56 AM (KpqgW)

52 If you're against universal health care, just keep your distance from doctors and hospitals

fine, but we still have to pay for it and everyone elses'

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (TomZ9)

53 Against racism? Don't dress up in blackface.

Posted by: garrett at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (RBX/o)

54 If you don't like high-speed rail, don't ride it!

Posted by: Special Joey Biden at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (UOM48)

55 Grayson won in 2008 based on a heavy commie turnout. Although this district is almost totally urban it is still considered a slight R advantage. Despite polls showing the race relatively close in 2010 the Republican won by a landslide.

Grayson hasn't got a chance, particularly after that auto accident.

Posted by: Vic at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (YdQQY)

56 I wonder if the Obamas are rethinking that Sasha Mexico trip. The report I heard said the earthquake was centered in Oaxaca where she is vacationing.

Posted by: caunotaucarius at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (SHvfC)

57 Ace isn't stealing all his content from HotGas anymore.... he doesn't have to; they've really nose-dived in the past few months. Allah may be a Chamberlain-esque RINO candy-ass, but he's the most entertaining blogger on the site and rarely posts anymore. Maybe he's getting ready to retire again.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is that HotAir should steal all of Ace's posts today; he's been on fire like a Tasmanian devil hopped up on Red Bull, meth, and several boxes of Cap'n Crunch.

Posted by: fiatboomer at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (Zmgiu)

58 Against showing ID when you vote? Don't vote!

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (ZKzrr)

59
Alan Grayson, D-Uranus

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (TkGkA)

60 Hey, Sandra Flute Fluke, If you don't like Georgetown U's insurance coverage, Don't Fucking Go There. /alan grayson approved

Posted by: soothsayer at March 20, 2012 11:57 AM (jUytm)

61 On another note, Ace...what's with the Grayson ads showing up here? WTF?!?!

Posted by: EC at March 20, 2012 11:58 AM (GQ8sn)

62 If you're against a bloated government, FUCK YOU!

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 11:58 AM (Sh42X)

63 Please don't send Alan Grayson back to Washington!

Sightings of Bigfoot in Florida will shrink to an infinitesimal level if he leaves... and we need the publicity or it's the old heave-ho for us from Animal Planet!

Posted by: B.F.R.O. at March 20, 2012 11:58 AM (UzjcV)

64 Don't like your doctor? Don't worry. You won't be keeping him.

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 20, 2012 11:58 AM (RBX/o)

65 Mr. Grayson, i agree , but shouldn't it be that the decision among that we don't participate is we don't Have to give up stuff (religious tenants) or pay for it for everyone else??

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 11:58 AM (TomZ9)

66 If you're against guns, don't own one.

Posted by: Brendan at March 20, 2012 11:59 AM (2jQGY)

67 Against conceal carry laws? Then don't carry.

Posted by: mare at March 20, 2012 11:59 AM (A98Xu)

68 If you don't like Obamacare, then don't....

.....oh wait....

Posted by: Princess Barry McPrissypants at March 20, 2012 11:59 AM (UOM48)

69 If you're against what I am about to do in your mouth, don't open it.

Posted by: mofo at March 20, 2012 11:59 AM (/7HVT)

if you're against moslems don't get killed by one

Posted by: kj at March 20, 2012 11:59 AM (zdvxY)

71 Grayson looks like he could be the CEO of a local Planned Parenthood chapter.

If you know what I mean....

Posted by: EC at March 20, 2012 11:59 AM (GQ8sn)

72 If you don't want to get killed by me while you're riding on a bus, stop riding on buses.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at March 20, 2012 11:59 AM (+lsX1)

73 Serious question? Why are the most bombastic, nanny-state loving democrats so fucking ugly? Waxman, Frank, Pelosi, Grayson, Maxine Waters, etc... just fucking revolting, hideous freaks and colossal assholes. Does being fugly make you an asshole?

Posted by: Ms Choksondik at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (fYOZx)

74 I'm really genuinely surprised not to see this one: If you don't like paying taxes, don't drive on the roads and don't call the fire department when your house is on fire! Because that one is the Left's favorite idiotic illogical argument. They love that one.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (jUytm)

75 If you're against president Obama, then stop being a racist.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (Sh42X)

76 If you don't like a capitalistic, free America, get the fuck out!

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (WdKsY)

What? Are all states right to work now?

I was under the impression that there are still states that require you to join a union if you work apply to work in a union shop.

Posted by: Alamo at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (FD6Hy)

78
If you're against a bloated government, FUCK YOU!

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 03:58 PM (Sh42X)

Is that you Cee Lo?

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (TkGkA)

79 If you're against rape, don't come down here.

Posted by: Occutards at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (UOM48)

Posted by: fiatboomer at March 20, 2012 03:57 PM (Zmgiu)

Prolly bled to death from beating his meat raw over Meggy Mac's playboy shoot.

Posted by: maddogg at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (OlN4e)

81 If you're against waterboarding terrorists, don't become a CIA Interrogator.

Posted by: Brendan at March 20, 2012 12:00 PM (2jQGY)

82 If you don't like a Temples or Church's tenants or commandments don't go to them and expect everyone including rabbis and priests, pastors to shut up

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:01 PM (TomZ9)

83 If you're for contraception, don't make other people pay for it If you're for abortion, don't make other people pay for your perceived right to murder a human being. If you're for Muslims, don't complain when the claim Sharia law and kill their children, beat their wives and stone homosexuals. If you're for gay couples, don't force people to change the definition of marriage to satisfy 2% of the population. If you're for unions, don't force people to pay dues to pay for political advocacy of one party over another. If you're for Universal Healthcare, don't force other people support it with a national mandate. If you're for homosexuality, feel free to suck my dick.

Posted by: polynikes at March 20, 2012 12:01 PM (VhNgo)

84 How do you beclown an asshat?

Posted by: ruserious at March 20, 2012 12:01 PM (W2qJe)

85 If you don't like the food served at McDonald's, don't fucking go there, asshole Grayson and Obama's ugly wife.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 20, 2012 12:01 PM (jUytm)

86 "Does being fugly make you an asshole?" Why yes, yes it does.

Posted by: mare at March 20, 2012 12:01 PM (A98Xu)

87 Moslems, Pockystan, Rootherfurd B. Hayes...... We really need to keep a list, Z Ryan.

Posted by: ktgreat at March 20, 2012 12:01 PM (TCTPY)

88 Against the Palestinian State? Go back to Poland.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at March 20, 2012 12:01 PM (RBX/o)

89

I dare and double-dog dare anyone to try and Baker Act me.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:01 PM (TkGkA)

90 If you're against sanity, vote Grayson.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:02 PM (Sh42X)

If you don't want your plane to be hijacked and flown into a building, don't fly with Muslims.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 20, 2012 12:02 PM (GS98D)

92 If you're for Universal Healthcare, don't force other people support it with a national mandate.

Umm... that fails to work. Otherwise: nice.

It doesn't really amaze me anymore, but someone should point out that the default setting of the left is "F*ck you. Pay me."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at March 20, 2012 12:02 PM (8y9MW)

93
If you're for clean energy wing-nuts, buy a Chevrolet Volt.

Posted by: Baraka O'Stumblefuck at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (TkGkA)

94 If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (GS98D)

95 Alan Greyson is a bi-pedalanal polyp.

I don't know what that is but I bet it's nasty.

Posted by: eleven at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (KXm42)

96 sooth, i know they don't get that some gvt projects are actually necessary . they assume we mean no gvt at all.

we are saying reduce the size and scope it is unweildy so many regulations and laws we are likely breaking a law everyday by existing. and taxing has become burdensome and un-understandable when you have to pay another to understand all the tax laws.

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (TomZ9)

97 Now I have to have a facebook account to comment on Politico? Yeah, that ain't happening.

Posted by: lowandslow at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (GZitp)

Isn't he the asswipe who said on teh floor of the House that the alternative to Obamacare was that if you got sick to die and die quickly?

Hilarious, now he is giving practically the same advice.

Posted by: levi at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (bQiFu)

99 O/T. What if Rubio were to do the keynote this summer, slam-dunk it way better than ANYONE ever, the convention goes brokered, and Rubio gets it? Just wondering.

Posted by: I am the egg man, . . . at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (tkAFc)

100 If you're against unions, don't buy union made, don't join one, and don't pay your taxes, essentially.

Posted by: fb at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (wQ1iq)

101 Against Car accidents? Don't drive near me!

If you're against Mexican Drug Crime, sell them guns and send your daughter there on a "break" from 7th grade! (In my time, 7th grade WAS the break._

Don't get me started.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (71LDo)

102 also Mr. Grayson, would you agree we Shouldn't have to eat peas if we don't want to?

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:04 PM (TomZ9)

103 59 Ace isn't stealing all his content from HotGas anymore.... he doesn't have to; they've really nose-dived in the past few months. Allah may be a Chamberlain-esque RINO candy-ass, but he's the most entertaining blogger on the site and rarely posts anymore. Maybe he's getting ready to retire again.

Posted by: fiatboomer at March 20, 2012 03:57 PM (Zmgiu)

Yeah, as much as he can annoy me, he's the best writer there. Tina Korbe isn't good, to be kind. Ed is a solid writer but I miss AP's posting on a lot of the meatier political issues. I get the feeling he's leaving too.

Posted by: Ms Choksondik at March 20, 2012 12:05 PM (fYOZx)

104 Dim-oc-Rats reflexively open their wallets at the mere mention of Rick Santorum, so the shaved gorilla acts as though he's running against RS.

Posted by: Mit Still Sux, But Preznit Barky Sux More at March 20, 2012 12:05 PM (5CXCY)

105
If you're against Mexicans, don't eat tacos.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:05 PM (TkGkA)

106 If you're against Moslems,
They might cut your head off 2nd, if you're armed.

Posted by: DaveA at March 20, 2012 12:06 PM (TcY34)

107 In other words, never get sick.

So Alan Grayson's plan for your health care is now- officially- "Don't get sick." I wonder if his plan for if you do get sick is "Die," and if his followup plan to that is "Die quickly."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at March 20, 2012 12:06 PM (8y9MW)

108
If you're against women, marry Barney Frank.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:06 PM (TkGkA)

109 Reminds me of all those liberal wiseasses who say "oh you don't like big government? then don't call the fire dept when your house is on fire!!!". Real winning logic.

Posted by: GergS(Dirty Scandi Dog Whistle) at March 20, 2012 12:06 PM (dptRY)

110 76 Serious question? Why are the most bombastic, nanny-state loving democrats so fucking ugly? Waxman, Frank, Pelosi, Grayson, Maxine Waters, etc... just fucking revolting, hideous freaks and colossal assholes. Does being fugly make you an asshole? Posted by: Ms Choksondik Seriously, though, I've wondered that myself. Politics is the refuge of the ugly, "no one liked me in high school and I'm still mad my roommate in college made me leave when she had her boyfriend over" people.

Posted by: mare at March 20, 2012 12:06 PM (A98Xu)

111 Kin we overload his Twitter feed?

Posted by: I am the egg man, . . . at March 20, 2012 12:06 PM (tkAFc)

112 If you want buses full of school children to remain unscathed, then keep them away from intersections while I run the red light in my Mercedes.

Posted by: Alan Grayson (ex Congressman, still dipshit) at March 20, 2012 12:06 PM (TCgGe)

113

If you don't want to go out of business, don't tell me it's "All you can eat"

If you don't want to have to wear rubber gloves to work, don't be my barber.

If you don't want to be watched while you change clothes, pull down the shades and I'll go somewhere else.

Alan Grayson

Posted by: UGAdawg at March 20, 2012 12:06 PM (jShXB)

114 Mr Grayson. if i don't want to pay for others health care, housing , food ,abortions or condoms , transportation
I don't have to, right?

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (TomZ9)

115

Ummmm. Wow. Grayson does comprehend that if health care coverage is universal than Santorum will not have any choice at all whether or not to participate in the plan, right? He does get that right? I mean he's not that utterly utterly fucking idiotic, right?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (VtjlW)

116
If you like big asses, date Michelle Obama.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (TkGkA)

117 #99 for the win. It combines the literal and figurative snark that explains the logic of Grayson.

Posted by: polynikes at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (VhNgo)

118 If you're against fapping then why are you clapping?

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (8ieXv)

119 I'm happy to mind my own business - just don't ask me to pay for YOUR business.

Posted by: Lily at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (zfWLC)

120
You meant to tell me that he's still doubling down being an idiot after his accident?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 20, 2012 03:48 PM (t6b44)

Idiot would be a step up.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (XCHGh)

121 Reminds me of a line Terry Pratchett has used in several variants:

"I'm not interested in X."

"That is fine but X is very interested in you."

Posted by: epobirs at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (kcfmt)

122 It's good to see that Grayson hasn't changed his "Republicans want everyone to die" mantra. That'll make it far easier to kick his ass when he tries to run again. The GOP/NRSC won't have to cut a whole new set of commercials in their entirety.

On another note, my latest "WTF, Over?" moment came when I saw a Grayson ad on RealClearPolitics, and almost said a YHGTBSM out loud at work.

Posted by: Smokey Behr at March 20, 2012 12:07 PM (QyeW7)

123 If you're against being abducted and kept in my tool shed, then stop hitchiking between Oak Ridge and Kissimmee.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:08 PM (+lsX1)

124
If you dislike oral sex, don't call Monica Lewinsky.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:08 PM (TkGkA)

125 If your a male who doesn't like the taste of penis, don't become a Democrat.

Posted by: Drew in MO at March 20, 2012 12:08 PM (BDGkt)

126 The Left , "If you don't like stuff, don't do it, but pay for the rest of us to do and have anything we want"

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:09 PM (TomZ9)

127 I don't even go over to Hot Gas anymore

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 20, 2012 12:09 PM (jucos)

128
If you dislike female mustaches, don't be seen with Helen Thomas or Barbra Streisand.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:09 PM (TkGkA)

129 so free choice in everything

but government will own all the doctors and hospitals

so no choice there, pay us or DIE QUICKLY

Which of these is not like the others?

individual choice
individual choice
individual choice
individual choice
individual choice
individual choice
individual choice
GOVERNMENT HEALTH CARE ONLY
individual choice
individual choice
individual choice
individual choice

Posted by: Illini bill at March 20, 2012 12:09 PM (BFMU6)

130 If you don't want to be a braying jackass, then don't act like me.

Posted by: Alan Grayson (ex Congressman, still dipshit) at March 20, 2012 12:10 PM (TCgGe)

131
If you dislike sucking Obama's cock, get a real job out of government.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:10 PM (TkGkA)

132 103 Beat me to it.

Posted by: nickless at March 20, 2012 12:10 PM (MMC8r)

133 If you don't like seamen in your mouth, you should not trust me.

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 20, 2012 12:10 PM (dptRY)

134 If you don't like death, then don't die.

Posted by: polynikes at March 20, 2012 12:10 PM (VhNgo)

135

If you don't like having feces thrown at you, then don't go to one of my speeches.

Alan Grayson

Posted by: UGAdawg at March 20, 2012 12:10 PM (jShXB)

136 "We're not asking you to participate in a union or have an abortion or use condoms and the pill, we however want you to pay for ours"

because we want way more stuff than we can afford to buy.

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:11 PM (TomZ9)

137 You could add "(But you're gonna pay for it anyway)." to almost all of those.

Posted by: nickless at March 20, 2012 12:11 PM (MMC8r)

138
If you're looking for a good time, call Sandra Fluke.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:11 PM (TkGkA)

139 If you're an obnoxious idiot, move in my house.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:12 PM (e8kgV)

140
If you don't like the love stick up your squeaker, leave Hollywood.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:13 PM (TkGkA)

141 If you don't like watching two or more men consummating a loving relationship, then stop going to that rest stop on I95 just north of Titusville.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:13 PM (+lsX1)

142 147 If you don't like watching two or more men consummating a loving relationship, then stop going to that rest stop on I95 just north of Titusville. That's just good advice!

Posted by: mare at March 20, 2012 12:13 PM (A98Xu)

143
If you don't want to know about Hillary's cooter conquests, don't consort with Bill.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 20, 2012 12:14 PM (TkGkA)

144 Alan Grayson , " We want you to pay for our stuff, now shut up"

that was quicker.

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:14 PM (TomZ9)

145

Rick, if you're against pornography, then don't film yer hanky panky!

You see how that works? Let me give you some more examples.

If you're against contraception, have lots of kids

If you're against abortion, don't get aborted!

If you're against Moslems, don't get killed by one...

If you're against gay marriage, you are evil...

If you're against unions, don't mind if the Government gives them YOUR money.

If you're against universal health care, just don't be born!

If you're against homosexuality, thats OK, I don't find you attractive anyway.

Posted by: Hmmmm.... what he was thinkin? at March 20, 2012 12:14 PM (lZBBB)

146
Remember, every click of a Grayson ad costs him $. So click! Click like the wind!

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 20, 2012 12:14 PM (XCHGh)

147 Uh!
Fire BAD!

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:14 PM (Qxdfp)

148 If you're against birth control, then I'm sorry, you'll have to use a different hole.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at March 20, 2012 12:15 PM (2jQGY)

149 Alan Grayson says mind your own busienss.

wow, wouldn't that be nice if they actually wanted that?

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:17 PM (TomZ9)

150

Against the feel of stubble scraping on your scrotum? I'll shave.

Posted by: Alan Greyson at March 20, 2012 12:19 PM (RBX/o)

151 Hey, this is fun.

If you're against Rush Limbaugh, then don't listen to him.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 20, 2012 12:19 PM (6RnvM)

152 Against rape? Don't wear short skirts!

Posted by: Grey Fox at March 20, 2012 12:21 PM (wMtef)

153 If you're against Galactic Health Care, then move to another galaxy.

Posted by: Alan Grayson, Despicable, Scumbag Leftist at March 20, 2012 12:21 PM (X3lox)

154 If you're against tickling the pee pees of 9 year old boys, then don't sign yours up for the Little League team I'm coaching.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:22 PM (HzhBE)

155 If you don't like my ugly, Simian-like face then pay for my plastic surgery.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:23 PM (HzhBE)

156 If you don't like the EPA, then don't breathe.

Posted by: Alan Grayson, Despicable, Lying, Scumbag Leftist at March 20, 2012 12:24 PM (X3lox)

157 If you want a girl child, keep trying. If you have a boy, cut its hair.

Posted by: dagny who loved andrew at March 20, 2012 12:24 PM (u50z0)

158

If the glove don't fit...you must...Er, Oh sorry wrong thread, decade, scumbag.

Carry on.

Posted by: Johnny CockRing's roasting nuts at March 20, 2012 12:24 PM (8ieXv)

159

If you don't like Legos that smell like they've been up my butt, then don't come to the Toys R Us in my neighborhood!

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:24 PM (HzhBE)

160 Mr. Grayson, i believe every adult should own a gun.

please pay for it, If you disagree you don't have to own one. still i want you to Pay for mine.
thanks. also dirtbikes , and roses make me FEEL good, please send quickly.

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:26 PM (TomZ9)

161 If you don't want a grunting scumbag as congressman, don't vote for Alan Grayson....

Posted by: nickless at March 20, 2012 12:27 PM (MMC8r)

162 156 Alan Grayson says mind your own busienss.

wow, wouldn't that be nice if they actually wanted that?

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 04:17 PM (TomZ9)

But says it while giving Unsolicited advice? Thus its just OTHER people who have to mind their own business... not Grayson...

The cognitive disconnect is strong in this one...

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 20, 2012 12:27 PM (lZBBB)

163 Romeo, yes.

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:28 PM (TomZ9)

164 167 Mr. Grayson, i believe every adult should own a gun.

please pay for it, If you disagree you don't have to own one. still i want you to Pay for mine.
thanks. also dirtbikes , and roses make me FEEL good, please send quickly.

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 04:26 PM (TomZ9)

Hmm.... if Birth Control is a Right, so others must pay for them even though it is NOT explicit in the Constitution....

And as the Right to Keep and Bear Arms IS Explicit in the Constitution...

They need to buy me guns, so I can carry!

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 20, 2012 12:29 PM (lZBBB)

165 Alan Grayson: If you don't like intelligence, don't have a brain like me!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 20, 2012 12:29 PM (1Jaio)

166 If you don't like rich people, don't be one

Posted by: E. Holder at March 20, 2012 12:30 PM (SO2Q8)

167

Sounds like Mr. Grayson's position is that people should "Die Quickly".....

http://is.gd/krjSDJ

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at March 20, 2012 12:31 PM (0xqzf)

168

If you don't like Christina Hendricks' boobies then...then...

Hell we all LUV UM

Posted by: E. Holder at March 20, 2012 12:32 PM (SO2Q8)

169 I find the absence of the word homunculus in this thread disturbing.

Posted by: AoSHQ Stylebook at March 20, 2012 12:32 PM (GTbGH)

170

If you don't want to be raped, then stitch that thing up.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:32 PM (xQ47I)

171 If you don't want your toilet clogged, then don't invite me over for dinner parties.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:33 PM (xQ47I)

172 I kinda missed this guy. Gonna be lots of fun with him and DWS competing for air time...

Posted by: Affenhauer at March 20, 2012 12:33 PM (ujsIB)

173

If You don't like your sock puppet, then take it off

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at March 20, 2012 12:34 PM (SO2Q8)

174 If you want to live don't become one of my patients.

Posted by: alan grayson at March 20, 2012 12:34 PM (nj7LO)

175 And as the Right to Keep and Bear Arms IS Explicit in the Constitution...

They need to buy me guns, so I can carry!

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 20, 2012 04:29 PM (lZBBB)

see.

but i think we should make an amendment to incluse roses and dirtbikes.

not really.

still it would really screw em up thinking about it.

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:35 PM (TomZ9)

176 If you don't want to get killed in traffic, then stay out of my way.

Posted by: Alan Grayson at March 20, 2012 12:36 PM (MMC8r)

177
Obama, Grayson & Fluke...

Name a Prog, a Trog and a Dyke

Posted by: B.F.R.O. at March 20, 2012 12:36 PM (UzjcV)

178 And as the Right to Keep and Bear Arms IS Explicit in the Constitution...

They need to buy me guns, so I can carry!

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 20, 2012 04:29 PM (lZBBB)

--------------------

Isn't it amazing that the 'right to an attorney" means the State has to pay for one if you are indigent (or a black Democrat's wife) and yet the right to keep and bear arms can be denied and there has never been any thought to forcing the State to buy them for you.

Amazing how 16 years of Democrat court packing can screw up the judicial system.

Posted by: Vic at March 20, 2012 12:36 PM (YdQQY)

179 if you don't want universal health care , don't get cancer.

but please pay for my girlfriends pills and abortions , OK?

Posted by: willow at March 20, 2012 12:36 PM (TomZ9)

180 If you're in favour of having baby girls, then don't get the sex-selection abortions.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 20, 2012 12:37 PM (6RnvM)

181 If you're not in favor of coprophagia, then you'd best stand clear of libtard talking points.

Posted by: B.F.R.O. at March 20, 2012 12:37 PM (UzjcV)

182 Freakin' sock...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at March 20, 2012 12:38 PM (UzjcV)

183 The phrase "universal health care" doesn't even make sense. What the hell is universal health care? Can you use your Aetna card on one of the planets around Alpha Centauri? What he really means is single payer, with the gov't being the payer and making decisions about which health care procedures you can have done and which ones you can't. And when you express it like that, people are less likely to support it. But when have the Dems every been upfront about what they are trying to do.

Posted by: Jon in TX at March 20, 2012 12:48 PM (lRqIF)

184 Mr. Grayson, sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. If you don't like America and our traditions and laws, don't live here.

Posted by: Cato at March 20, 2012 12:51 PM (eaUlI)

185 Even if you never get sick, you still wind up paying for Obamacare.

Posted by: Haiku Guy at March 20, 2012 12:55 PM (4pFCl)

186 Against racism?   Don't be racist.

Against discrimination? Don't judge people.

Against slavery? Don't own slaves.

Against war?   Don't fight in one.

Against genocide?   Don't mass murder people.

The absurdity, it writes itself.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 20, 2012 12:57 PM (sGtp+)

187

This list isn't original. I've been seeing variations of it on Facebook for a couple of years now.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at March 20, 2012 12:58 PM (YmPwQ)

188
"If you're against unions, don't join one."

Sure, no problem - if you live in a right-to-work state.

But if you're in, say, California, or New York, or Illinois: not so easy. Especially if you want to work for the government.

The notion that, in order to work for *our* government, you have to join *their* union, is the quintessential anti-choice position. Yet that compulsion, and others similar to it, are at the heart of the "progressive" enterprise.

Posted by: Brown Line at March 20, 2012 12:59 PM (Hc1gD)

189 Against air pollution?   Don't breathe.

Against excess profits?   Don't buy anything.

Against public nudity?   Close your eyes.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 20, 2012 01:01 PM (sGtp+)

190

Against life? Don't live.

Against death? Don't die.

Posted by: Jon in TX at March 20, 2012 01:05 PM (lRqIF)

191 Against salty food? Force other people not to eat salty food.

Posted by: fb at March 20, 2012 01:10 PM (wQ1iq)

192 In this attitude, in this set of brayings from Mr. Grayson, we see the true character of the Left displayed for all to see. Liberal ideas require compulsion and cannot compete in a fair contest. In most if not all of his scenarios, your only choice is to not participate in something you are made to pay for no matter how morally repugnant. Liberalism is inimical to Liberty and the health of our Republic, and we cannot waver in our efforts to debunk it and show it to the world as the disgrace it is.

Posted by: Cato at March 20, 2012 01:13 PM (eaUlI)

193 Its always funny to read or hear someone demand everyone else follow their code of ethics and behave the way they order... then say "stay out of everyone else's business."
Whatever you say, comrade.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 20, 2012 01:14 PM (r4wIV)

194 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2012 01:17 PM (7W3wI)

195 Can Grayson and Maher just But-cork until expired?

Posted by: rectal exam at March 20, 2012 01:22 PM (O7ksG)

196 There's an internet meme going on Facebook with basically the same talking points that Grayson uses. Instead of Santorum it says "citizen" and in Grayson's role is "Government." In responding to my friend who posted it, I asked if by citizen she meant tax payer. In that case, the personal choice argument doesn't' work. If, instead of government, the meme said "society" I'd pretty much agree. But government equals force and although the tax payer may not choose abortion, contraception, etc, I think they should be vocal in not wanting to fund it by way of government force.

Posted by: OceanusRex at March 20, 2012 01:24 PM (yAI5q)

197 If you're against child molesting, don't molest children. If you're against armed robbery, don't hold up liquor stores. If you're against mass murder, don't commit mass murder. If you're against rape, don't join Occupy Wall Street.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardaleq at March 20, 2012 01:26 PM (azHfB)

198 Alan Grayson just wants people to lay down and die. His halitosis is one of the main causes for death in Florida, if you can believe it. Right behind sniffing Debbie Wasserman-Shithead's panties.

Posted by: Anson Mitchell at March 20, 2012 01:32 PM (IhUxK)

199

It's not just "stay away from doctors and hospitals." A lot of healthy Americans could do that for much, if not all, of their lives.

But Obamacare doesn't give Americans the option of opting out of their socialistic health care behemoth just by "staying away from doctors and hospitals." It forces Americans, under penalty of law, to purchase health insurance -- and if you don't, you get fined. Every year.

That's some weird "liberty," eh Grayson?

Posted by: Doc who delivered Grayson (with apologies to everyone) at March 20, 2012 01:39 PM (WvS06)

200 If you don't like taxes, don't pay them.

Posted by: Tim Geitner at March 20, 2012 02:27 PM (Vg4Vv)

201

Don't like the 2000-year-old teachings of the Catholic Church?

Don't work for it.

Posted by: Palandine at March 20, 2012 02:40 PM (g7D8V)

202 Since Grayson wants me to help pay for someone else's healthcare, he is no less a fascist than Santorum. Hey Alan, If you're against fascists, don't be one.
If you're against guns, don't buy one.
if you're against the wealthy, don't get rich.
If you're against capitalism, don't buy anything.
If you're against Big Oil, don't buy any gas.
If you're against Global Warming, don't breathe.
If you're against the spread of AIDS don't catch it.
If you're against unwanted pregnancy, don't have sex.
If you're against poverty, don't be poor.
If you're against unemployment, get a job.
If you're against traffic lights...don't drive.
See how that works?

Posted by: Sgt. York at March 20, 2012 02:52 PM (YENt0)

203

If you dont like muslims then dont be sired by one, raised by one, or bow to one.

Wait, what?

Posted by: meleager at March 20, 2012 02:58 PM (wFQxh)

204 Out here in Commiefornia, if you are an hourly worker in a school district, you will join/pay dues to a union. It's a closed shop. So bite me Grayson. You remind me of dog shit on my shoe.

Posted by: torabora at March 20, 2012 02:59 PM (dQfKD)

205 Don't like America? Then leave it!

Posted by: torabora at March 20, 2012 03:05 PM (dQfKD)

206 Or, as my mom said on Facebook,. "I don't understand your problem with the health care law, no one's forcing you to get an abortion."

Posted by: Elizabethe from elsewhere at March 20, 2012 03:16 PM (AjBtt)

207 Yeah - I recall that argument in the mid-1800's. If you don't like slavery, don't own one. Very popular with Democrats at the time. We all know how well that argument worked out, eh?

Posted by: Michel at March 20, 2012 04:15 PM (6ZrMO)

208 The most powerful ~~logic~~ sophistry you'll find this side of a bumper sticker in Berkeley. Don't like slavery? Don't own a slave. Don't like murder? Don't murder anyone. Don't like the molestation of children? Don't like theft/rape/arson? Remember how the Left always claims we want "no government" i.e anarchy? So who's down for morally neutral anarchy by our society when rapin and pillaging is on the line?

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at March 20, 2012 04:40 PM (xkFlk)

209 The left wing propagandists at Politico are soooooo stupid.

Posted by: pat at March 20, 2012 05:11 PM (UFxap)

210 not joining a union isn't always possible, if you want to work at all.

Posted by: Dave at March 20, 2012 08:30 PM (3f5JE)

211 the original post completely misses the point and predictably only complains about O-Care (The Only Issue reasonable humans are allowed to oppose now i guess.) it doesn't matter that Grayson's arguments are "pro-choice" (a fallacy anyway, neutrality does not exist,) they're the sentiments of a 5-year old.

Posted by: JDP at March 20, 2012 08:31 PM (8HhF2)

212 Someone probably said this already, but the "don't join a union" idea is nonsense is well. What if you live in a closed shop state? What if 50% of your fellow workers vote for form a union? You end up with not much choice.

Of course, you can just find another job where there is no union. But isn't that what we are saying to those individuals who work for Catholic institutions who want free contraception from their employer? Go find another job?

As far as abortion - the human baby doesn't get a choice. So, if I believe life begins at contraception, you are essentially saying to me "don't like murder? just ignore it."

As far as porn goes - what about child porn? Bestiality? Other kinds of stuff that even liberals would be against? Do we just ignore it? Is that the answer Alan?

How is this different than saying "don't like the poor? Don't be poor!"

"Don't like when America uses military action against Iraq? Don't watch the news!"

"Don't like the 10 commandments on the wall at the courthouse? Don't read the plaque!"

"Don't like prayer in school? Don't pray in school."

I could go on and on with responses to such idiocy. The thing that really bothers me about it is that liberals actually think this is clever reasoning.

Posted by: Monkeytoe at March 21, 2012 03:36 AM (sOx93)

213 If you dont like pedophilia, dont have sex with kids......... Oh, my, that almost sounds like something other than just a hands off approach should happen.

Posted by: DHSmonkey at March 21, 2012 07:31 AM (1kvqG)

214 ok alan.....how about....telling old meddling bloomburg that if he doens't want to eat salt....then he shouldn't eat salt and leave the homeless in nyc alone..........

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at March 21, 2012 09:29 AM (h8UT+)

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