August 23, 2012
— LauraW Longtime AOSHQ'er Empire of Jeff launched himself a podcast, and it is hilarious.
Tree bark soup. I'm dying.
Light content warning for the F-bomb.
He's right too; in a couple years we're going to be hyperventilating about something entirely new and stupid.
Posted by: LauraW at
06:41 AM
| Comments (339)
Post contains 48 words, total size 1 kb.
Posted by: The Mega Independent at August 23, 2012 06:49 AM (pUOs2)
Posted by: grease monkey at August 23, 2012 06:50 AM (VSWPU)
The Labor Department reported Thursday that seasonally-adjusted initial claims rose 4,000 to 372,000. That's compared to a decline of 1,000 that economists on average had been expecting.
The data keeps pressure on President Barack Obama ahead of his November re-election bid. His Republican challenger is trying to focus voters' attention on a lofty unemployment rate that has dogged Obama's presidency.
When Obama loses .. that will be "unexpected" as well.
Posted by: Theodoric of York at August 23, 2012 06:51 AM (e8kgV)
Posted by: Vic at August 23, 2012 06:52 AM (YdQQY)
I've rarely posted here. The dark is so much more enlightening. But, this... made my summer. Yes, that's how bad it's been. I might be on my way to six pack abs from laughing so much. Thanks Laura W and EoJ... really thanks.
Btw, six-pack abs... never gonna happen.
Posted by: LAW at August 23, 2012 06:52 AM (sthQG)
Posted by: SpongeBob Saget at August 23, 2012 06:53 AM (SDkq3)
Posted by: grease monkey at August 23, 2012 06:53 AM (VSWPU)
Posted by: Vic at August 23, 2012 06:54 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: mama winger in Paul Ryan's district at August 23, 2012 06:54 AM (P6QsQ)
Posted by: phoenixgirl, team dagny at August 23, 2012 06:54 AM (Ho2rs)
Posted by: Infidel at August 23, 2012 06:54 AM (O/fK8)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 23, 2012 06:56 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: theworldisnotenough at August 23, 2012 06:56 AM (JpqtI)
clubbing a neigbor with a femur bone over the last of the tree bark soup really was
'let's bring a moment to SMOD almost forgotten but lurking in our future.' said in my best announcment voice.
Posted by: willow at August 23, 2012 06:57 AM (TomZ9)
Posted by: Debbie Weaselwords Schultz at August 23, 2012 06:57 AM (e8kgV)
Posted by: Mr. Dahmer at August 23, 2012 06:58 AM (/YJYi)
Posted by: Captain Hate (dagny solidarity) at August 23, 2012 06:58 AM (sA73R)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmo1rATDE00
Posted by: Shiggz RoketSturgeon at August 23, 2012 06:59 AM (RfvTE)
Posted by: GnuBreed at August 23, 2012 06:59 AM (ccXZP)
Posted by: Lizzy at August 23, 2012 06:59 AM (hSm+F)
Posted by: phoenixgirl, team dagny at August 23, 2012 06:59 AM (Ho2rs)
Posted by: FU52 at August 23, 2012 07:01 AM (NZu+i)
He could prolly sell certain select bourbons as well.
btw what's a podcast?
Do I have to go out and buy a damn pod now?
Looking forward to more of whatever the fuck that was, and I must say that I don't have a flipping clue as to why.
Posted by: ontherocks at August 23, 2012 07:02 AM (aZ6ew)
“It is very rare I come to an event where I’m like the fifth or sixth most interesting person. Usually the folks want to take a picture with me, sit next to me, talk to me. That has not been the case at this event and I completely understand.”
Can we please get rid of him now?
Posted by: Lizzy at August 23, 2012 07:03 AM (hSm+F)
Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at August 23, 2012 07:04 AM (aqfuo)
Posted by: Lizzy at August 23, 2012 11:03 AM (hSm+F)
People who aren't offended by that dickhole are too stupid to live.
Posted by: Captain Hate (dagny solidarity) at August 23, 2012 07:04 AM (sA73R)
And I'm on such a high right now, I can't believe I got linked in the sidebar! I feel like a groupie that finally got laid by the lead guitarist, thanks for making my day guys. So elated, so flushed with happiness, so...
Wait, why do I suddenly feel a burning sensation "down there?"
Posted by: LizLem at August 23, 2012 07:05 AM (8wqqE)
Posted by: Sandra Fluke at August 23, 2012 07:05 AM (zyaZ1)
Well, once you beat your neighbors to death with a femur bone, you won't have to go on eating tree bark soup.
Just sayin'.
Posted by: Jaws at August 23, 2012 07:10 AM (4I3Uo)
Posted by: Penfold at August 23, 2012 07:10 AM (1PeEC)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 07:10 AM (8y9MW)
Pack of Pitbulls Demolish Minivan!
http://nydn.us/MNQ3kV
Finally, someone putting pit bulls to good use.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 23, 2012 07:12 AM (SY2Kh)
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 07:13 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: Flatbush Joe at August 23, 2012 07:13 AM (ZPrif)
Posted by: Blacksheep at August 23, 2012 07:14 AM (8/DeP)
Posted by: logprof at August 23, 2012 07:14 AM (Khf/F)
Posted by: Lemmenkainen at August 23, 2012 07:14 AM (ZWvOb)
Posted by: eastvalleyphx at August 23, 2012 07:15 AM (GRvW4)
Posted by: whoppi at August 23, 2012 07:15 AM (e8kgV)
You need more drinking, but the theme music is perfect.
Posted by: Jay in Ames at August 23, 2012 07:15 AM (UEEex)
Posted by: Hobbitopoly at August 23, 2012 07:15 AM (yISZ8)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at August 23, 2012 07:15 AM (kDokH)
Posted by: logprof at August 23, 2012 07:16 AM (Khf/F)
Posted by: Whoever this is, it's definitely not Michael at August 23, 2012 07:16 AM (qA5G4)
Posted by: Dick Nixon, circa 1968 at August 23, 2012 07:17 AM (RD7QR)
Posted by: phoenixgirl, team dagny at August 23, 2012 07:19 AM (Ho2rs)
sixth most interesting person. Usually the folks want to take a picture
with me, sit next to me, talk to me. That has not been the case at this
event and I completely understand.”
Dude get over yourself!
Posted by: Narcissus at August 23, 2012 07:20 AM (0q2P7)
so which comes first stomach cancer, poisoning trying to reverse engoneer berry identification skills, or SMOD?
Posted by: sven10077 at August 23, 2012 07:20 AM (LRFds)
Posted by: Lemmenkainen at August 23, 2012 07:21 AM (ZWvOb)
Loved it, Jeff. Keep 'em comin'.
Tree bark soup. Roving cannibal packs. Former Georgetown students scavenging the corpse-strewn wastelands hunting for free contraception. Can't wait.
Posted by: troyriser at August 23, 2012 07:21 AM (vtiE6)
Posted by: grease monkey at August 23, 2012 07:22 AM (VSWPU)
Rassmusen's poll is reputable, and devastating, hopefully the idiot himself or someone on his staff sees writing on wall before we have to spend valuable treasure putting up a write in candidate.
Posted by: LizLem at August 23, 2012 07:22 AM (8wqqE)
What's in Hobbs, you ask? Good question. Nothing.
It's on the TX/NM border. Mesquite, other scrub, some grass and oil wells. I thought about taking the two hour drive over there except that'd take too much of my day.
I will say the team Mitt is humming along. I got 3 solicitations for donations yesterday and an email about going to the event. I suspect it's some sort of big event. It's the last solo event for him until after the convention. He joins Ryan in MI than down to Tampa.
Posted by: RoyalOil at August 23, 2012 07:22 AM (imtbm)
Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at August 23, 2012 07:23 AM (RD7QR)
Signed up, subscribed, and followed. But if you ever try to put your audio inside me again, I will flounce, guaranteed.
Posted by: Mongerel at August 23, 2012 07:23 AM (YqWfw)
Explosive dysentery.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 07:23 AM (8y9MW)
Potash mining.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 07:24 AM (8y9MW)
I'm working on Cirrhosis
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 07:24 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: Time Travelling Mulcter at August 23, 2012 07:26 AM (ay6+/)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 07:26 AM (05RcU)
Posted by: p1gvomit at August 23, 2012 07:27 AM (FYkO+)
Apocalypse tip: Humans can carry diseases, some even while cooked. To avoid this in your diet go from long to short, feed the humans to pigs then eat the pigs.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 07:27 AM (0q2P7)
http://tinyurl.com/d7s6o7k
Posted by: Lemmenkainen at August 23, 2012 07:28 AM (ZWvOb)
I think I read somewhere that the Mitt was in Midland fundraising. Which means he was hitting up GWB's oil buddies. Who are flush with cash right now from the boom going on down there.
Posted by: RoyalOil at August 23, 2012 07:28 AM (imtbm)
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Whiteboard 2012 at August 23, 2012 07:28 AM (VtjlW)
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at August 23, 2012 07:29 AM (AD7g/)
Posted by: My Ass Burns...stick it out the window and cool it off at August 23, 2012 07:29 AM (t2z5E)
Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro,Vt at August 23, 2012 07:30 AM (48wze)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 07:30 AM (05RcU)
Posted by: real joe at August 23, 2012 07:30 AM (PD2ad)
Posted by: RoyalOil at August 23, 2012 11:28 AM (imtbm)
--
No kidding. Try to get a hotel room there.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at August 23, 2012 07:30 AM (AD7g/)
Posted by: Redd at August 23, 2012 07:30 AM (2Srxr)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 07:31 AM (05RcU)
Posted by: phoenixgirl, team dagny at August 23, 2012 07:32 AM (Ho2rs)
Welcome back from A-Stan, D'oh Boy. Now you get to deal with this. And we're looking at a very likely hit from Isaac here.
*stomach in knots*
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 23, 2012 07:34 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: Lincolntf at August 23, 2012 07:34 AM (HethX)
Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro,Vt at August 23, 2012 11:30 AM (48wze)
I agree! Why should we let these disgusting people post whatever they want on a website that no one is forcing people to go to. Fuck the 1st Amendment and the rest of the Constitution as well. Unless you agree with us, you don't deserve free speech.
Posted by: Typical liberal hypocrite at August 23, 2012 07:35 AM (/YJYi)
----------------
Bless your heart! I'm a woman and I get to decide for myself, as an individual, what I think is insulting and what I can do about it. Not all women look to Obama to protect their precious sensibilities (or take care of their ladybits).
Sheesh!
Posted by: Lizzy at August 23, 2012 07:35 AM (hSm+F)
Posted by: wow at August 23, 2012 07:36 AM (aRwtY)
Posted by: B. Clinton at August 23, 2012 07:36 AM (MMC8r)
I'd almost forgotten about that. Do you have the direct link?
The actual issue is that the city apparently has a gang problem, and most of the gangs were using sports teams as their 'colors.' So instead of red or blue bandanas (or whatever) one gang might wear Raiders shirts, another might wear Cowboys gear. The policy was supposed to address that.
Of course, if they'd address the actual problem- gang violence- worrying about what kids are wearing to school (beyond basic decency) wouldn't matter.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 07:36 AM (8y9MW)
That was a test run.
Remember, there were no prosecutions, there was no investigation and there was no actual group who claimed responsibility.
They were testing what they could get away with and they were testing our response.
Guess what?
There is going to be 10 times the number of illegal robocalls in October.
Posted by: RoyalOil at August 23, 2012 07:36 AM (imtbm)
Related...
Obama Fundraises with Maker of Pro-Drugs 'Stop Snitchin' Video
http://is.gd/FYGC54
Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 23, 2012 07:37 AM (/kI1Q)
Posted by: LAW at August 23, 2012 10:52 AM (sthQG)
Hey... I already got 6 pack abs... yep.... got these Gut from drinking 6 packs...
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 07:37 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: Mama AJ at August 23, 2012 07:38 AM (SUKHu)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 07:38 AM (05RcU)
But now the BIG question....
Is it better to take the Bark from the Mossy North Side of the tree? Does it give a more piquant Flavor?
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 07:38 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: Brother Cavil, covering his bases at August 23, 2012 07:38 AM (GBXon)
A couple years? If this flap makes it to Monday I'll be surprised. No this is old news now. A new an improved crisis is coming our way. And it had better get here quick before we collectively start going through crisis withdrawal.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 07:39 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 07:39 AM (05RcU)
Posted by: Kim Kardashian at August 23, 2012 07:39 AM (Io7hX)
Posted by: Mama AJ at August 23, 2012 07:39 AM (SUKHu)
“It is very rare I come to an event where I’m like the fifth or
sixth most interesting person."
Lately, it's very rare that you come to an event where there are more than five or six people, Doucheolini.
Posted by: 66chevelle at August 23, 2012 07:39 AM (QjSgY)
Posted by: jewells45 at August 23, 2012 07:40 AM (l/N7H)
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 11:38 AM (lZBBB)
--
Check with a North Korean, maybe they can remember the good old days when their trees had bark on them.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at August 23, 2012 07:40 AM (AD7g/)
You know what's odd? EoJ sounds exactly like I imagined he sounded like.
Does that mean EVERYONE at the HQ sounds like what I imagine they sound like?
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 07:40 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: Ian S. at August 23, 2012 07:41 AM (B/VB5)
Where's the New Orleans accent? Canada take that away from you as a condition for letting you stay there? Oh and salt soup is much better than tree bark soup.
Posted by: polynikes at August 23, 2012 07:42 AM (m2CN7)
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Whiteboard 2012 at August 23, 2012 07:42 AM (VtjlW)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 11:26 AM (05RcU)
And the UN Peacekeepers just sat there, and watched....
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 07:42 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 11:39 AM (05RcU)
The fact that Obama likes the NBA is just another reason why I can't stand him. The fact that he likes Carmelo Anthony -- who, from everything I've heard of him, is a spoiled brat -- just adds to that.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 07:43 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 07:43 AM (05RcU)
Posted by: Mama AJ at August 23, 2012 07:43 AM (SUKHu)
Posted by: Lincolntf at August 23, 2012 11:34 AM (HethX)
___
if you're having trouble try downloading it to your PC
Posted by: kallisto at August 23, 2012 07:43 AM (jm/9g)
http://tinyurl.com/9wymupz
Well played, sir. Well played.
Posted by: Dang at August 23, 2012 07:43 AM (Ky1+e)
Posted by: Infidel at August 23, 2012 07:43 AM (O/fK8)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 07:43 AM (05RcU)
Do I sound mumbly in your head?
Posted by: toby928© beating memes to death since 2006 at August 23, 2012 07:44 AM (QupBk)
See it while you can. Kidnap an Obamabot or two and duct-tape them to their theater chairs.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 23, 2012 07:44 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 07:45 AM (05RcU)
Posted by: perplexiglass at August 23, 2012 07:45 AM (6DTFM)
*fap fap fap* WHAT DID YOU SAY? *fap fap fap* I CAN'T HEAR A THING! *fap fap fap*
Posted by: Dang at August 23, 2012 07:46 AM (Ky1+e)
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Whiteboard 2012 at August 23, 2012 11:42 AM (VtjlW)
Honestly, you write exactly the way my friend in Colorado talks (and writes), so I imagine her voice when I read your posts. Which means nothing to anyone but me, but I assure you she has a very nice alto voice.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 07:46 AM (4df7R)
"Show us on the Curious George doll where the bad researcher touched you...."
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 23, 2012 07:46 AM (/kI1Q)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 11:45 AM (05RcU)
Hmmmm.... need to check his video collection, for old Tarzan movies?
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 07:47 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: toby928© beating memes to death since 2006 at August 23, 2012 11:44 AM (QupBk)
In my head you sound bombastic. Probably because of the "THE BALLS ON THESE GUYS!" meme.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 07:48 AM (4df7R)
It is most likely that the Akin episode will have the Democratic Party go full on as the "Abortion Party" at the convention in Charlotte. The Dems have flirted with coming out of the abortion closet for a while now, but I think Akin will make them pull back the curtain and go "full vagina"
I wonder if this has the potential to sound as bad for them as Buchanan did for the Republican convention 20 years ago. He was awesomely awesome for the truly hardcore but cringeworthy for everyone else.
Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at August 23, 2012 07:49 AM (JxMoP)
Monkeys?
I LIKE MONKEYS I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad. I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 23, 2012 07:49 AM (TIIx5)
Posted by: SurferDoc at August 23, 2012 07:50 AM (6H6FZ)
Mitchell was booked into Richmond County jail on charges of public intoxication. The monkeys were examined and found to be unharmed.
So, are they using "monkeys" as some kind of pseudonym for the guy's testicles? He had his pants down and his "lab monkeys" were swinging around free?
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 07:50 AM (4df7R)
Well I have a habit of occasionally sluring, and have a subconscious nervous laugh, so you'll never hear a moose podcast.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 07:51 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: HoboJerky, profit of DOOM! at August 23, 2012 07:51 AM (MrM2k)
Posted by: soothsayer at August 23, 2012 07:52 AM (CXoSL)
EoJ's voice kind of reminds me of....Christian Slater.
Hey, EoJ,
I think you should bring back that Primal Scream thing that Sam Kineson used to do.
It would be a nice touch.
Posted by: wheatie at August 23, 2012 07:53 AM (mtRB0)
Well, Goddamn. I'm in a meeting and my cell phone's buzzing in my pocket like Roseanne Barr's vibrator taking a lightning strike. So this is the "Ace-o-lanche." Humbling. Thank you all very much. Wasn't sure how it would be received and this was better than I hoped.
Shit. Y'all expect me to keep capering for your amusement, don't you?
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 23, 2012 07:53 AM (nxyLn)
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Whiteboard 2012 at August 23, 2012 11:42 AM (VtjlW)
an unmade bed ( stole that from a Burt Lancaster movie )
Posted by: Josef Djugashvili ( call me Stalin ) at August 23, 2012 07:54 AM (Dll6b)
Posted by: logprof at August 23, 2012 07:54 AM (Khf/F)
200 monkeys would be great for my monkey gun. MONKEY GUN!! but I don't know if it fires dead monkeys. Worth a try.
Posted by: polynikes at August 23, 2012 07:54 AM (m2CN7)
Posted by: TheOtherJay at August 23, 2012 07:54 AM (nojhZ)
Posted by: theCork at August 23, 2012 07:54 AM (hbAdE)
Shit. Y'all expect me to keep capering for your amusement, don't you?
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 23, 2012 11:53 AM (nxyLn)
Well, you ARE our profane little monkey on a string.
Dance, monkey. Dance.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 23, 2012 07:55 AM (TIIx5)
Posted by: Ammo Dump at August 23, 2012 07:55 AM (YYyqq)
Posted by: Ian S. at August 23, 2012 07:56 AM (B/VB5)
Posted by: Femur Bone Collection Society at August 23, 2012 07:56 AM (YYyqq)
Dance!!! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 07:57 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: RichRif at August 23, 2012 07:57 AM (Uhd9X)
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Wonders what Dagny thinks at August 23, 2012 07:57 AM (9TTOe)
Posted by: jewells45 at August 23, 2012 07:57 AM (l/N7H)
“Well, absolutely, we’re prepared to call it off,” [Mayor Bob] Buckhorn said on the network’s Early Start with John Berman. “I mean, safety and human life trump politics. I think the RNC recognizes that. The organizers, certainly Gov. (Mitt) Romney, recognize that.”
Did they forget to mention that Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn is a Democrat ?
Posted by: Theodoric of York at August 23, 2012 07:57 AM (e8kgV)
Posted by: jewells45 at August 23, 2012 07:58 AM (l/N7H)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 07:59 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 23, 2012 11:53 AM (nxyLn)
Depends. Will you caper like a monkey?
(The answer to your question is "Yes," btw)
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 07:59 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: thunderb at August 23, 2012 07:59 AM (Dnbau)
no it is the usual NAME THAT PARTY!
Hey so long as BAM! agrees to call of the Vagina Vault In there in NC I'm game....
Posted by: sven10077 at August 23, 2012 08:00 AM (LRFds)
I hate, hate, hate hurricane season. As much as I love it here, I'd love to retire to the mountains some day.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 23, 2012 08:00 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: thunderb at August 23, 2012 08:01 AM (Dnbau)
Posted by: logprof at August 23, 2012 08:01 AM (Khf/F)
Posted by: Lincolntf at August 23, 2012 08:01 AM (HethX)
Tree Bark Cooking Tips has been a running gag in our Steelhead Camp (kooskia, Id.) for a decade or so.
It's nothing to find a hunk of bark with a single piece of steelhead roe on it waiting for you at the breakfast table over there.
Posted by: garrett at August 23, 2012 08:01 AM (0GonM)
the Sikhs will tell her to go rut with a bova if she tries to noblesse oblige them on race....
Posted by: sven10077 at August 23, 2012 08:01 AM (LRFds)
They're dead, they're going to vote for her husband regardless.
Have their families not suffered enough?
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 23, 2012 08:02 AM (/kI1Q)
the battlefield has been chosen, vaginas and race babies, vaginas and race
Posted by: thunderb at August 23, 2012 11:59 AM (Dnbau)
I don't know how much it will matter. I'm twitter buddies with a couple of Sikhs and according to them the Sikh community is overwhelmingly conservative. Second hand knowledge, yeah, but that's what I've heard.
Posted by: Adam at August 23, 2012 08:03 AM (/YJYi)
There are days I hate being that guy. Yes tree bark soup is not outside the box. Tree bark soups are kind of like tea, you are trying to extract medicinals from the bark. For instance using Quakie Aspen bark in a soup imbues it with aspirin. That knowledge may come in handy.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 08:04 AM (0q2P7)
170
>>kind of reminds me of....Christian Slater.
Happy Harry Hardon?
Heh.
Pump Up The Volume was ahead of it's time.
"They think you got attitude?....You show em some real attitude."
Posted by: wheatie at August 23, 2012 08:04 AM (mtRB0)
Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro,Vt at August 23, 2012 08:04 AM (48wze)
Posted by: logprof at August 23, 2012 08:05 AM (Khf/F)
Posted by: thunderb at August 23, 2012 08:06 AM (Dnbau)
Posted by: jewells45 at August 23, 2012 11:58 AM (l/N7H)
That's a REALLY old joke.....and one of my favorites. Wish I'd written it.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 23, 2012 08:06 AM (TIIx5)
I wanted his voice to sound like the guy on the Allstate commercials.
Posted by: polynikes at August 23, 2012 08:07 AM (m2CN7)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:08 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: Berserker at August 23, 2012 08:08 AM (FMbng)
Hey guys? Guys.
Why are you still posting? The thread was already won.
Way back.....here:
Vegetables are what food eats.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 23, 2012 11:28 AM (/kI1Q)
Posted by: reason at August 23, 2012 08:09 AM (CGjum)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:09 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: Andrew at August 23, 2012 08:09 AM (HS3dy)
Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro,Vt at August 23, 2012 12:04 PM (48wze)
Me too. She's like a modern day Marie Antoinette. The country is in shambles but that doesn't stop her from taking dozens of million dollar vacations and wearing $20,000 outfits paid for by the taxpayers. What's not to be proud of?
Posted by: Adam at August 23, 2012 08:10 AM (/YJYi)
Posted by: Lizzy at August 23, 2012 08:10 AM (hSm+F)
Posted by: booger at August 23, 2012 08:11 AM (HI6wa)
We owe Empire of Jeff a debt of gratitude for alerting the nation to a peril which we must oppose with good government: Register all human femur bones! Weapons like these must not be allowed to infiltrate our streets and across borders into the hands of Mexican drug cartels. Every person who possesses a human femur bone must register their weapon. This is no great burden. So if you have, say, three femur bones, you merely must fill out, notarize, duplicate, archive, register and deliver the permit forms three times. Do it. For the children.
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 12:08 PM (AZGON)
Beware of those high-capacity cop-killer femur bones, the preferred choice of criminals and drug dealers nationwide.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 23, 2012 08:11 AM (TIIx5)
Posted by: Adam at August 23, 2012 12:03 PM (/YJYi)
Sikhs are pro LIFE, believe in self defense and defense of the innocent... and consider themselves a warrior culture...
Michele has NO idea what kind of audience she is going to speak to.
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 08:12 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: soothsayer at August 23, 2012 08:12 AM (g8WYH)
Posted by: willow at August 23, 2012 08:13 AM (TomZ9)
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 08:14 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: thunderb at August 23, 2012 08:14 AM (Dnbau)
Posted by: typical commenter at August 23, 2012 08:14 AM (kycA/)
Not funny, unless one considers repeated use of F-wordto somehow make things that we already knowfunny?!?
Posted by: Andrew at August 23, 2012 12:09 PM (HS3dy)
What the fuck? That's fucking rude.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 23, 2012 08:14 AM (TIIx5)
He certainly sounded concerned didn't he?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:14 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: thunderb at August 23, 2012 08:15 AM (Dnbau)
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 08:15 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: Truman North, iPhone rapscallion at August 23, 2012 08:15 AM (I2LwF)
Posted by: thunderb at August 23, 2012 08:16 AM (Dnbau)
Of course they are high capacity femur bones! They have to support us high capacity obese Amerikkkans!
Posted by: Jay in Ames at August 23, 2012 08:16 AM (UEEex)
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 08:16 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:16 AM (8y9MW)
i was listening to some podcast with a verrry rude man, that spoke ill of vagina monologues , my daughter said why are you so sad mother? I said there is a man, a verrry indecent man that doesn't want to speak of my uterus, But wants to speak of inne things instead!
o mother men are so horrid!
Posted by: willow at August 23, 2012 08:17 AM (TomZ9)
Well maybe she should get a seat on the next mars probe so they can enjoy her too.
Posted by: Berserker at August 23, 2012 08:17 AM (FMbng)
I think I know whose femur bone will be the first to be used in the upcoming Tree Bark Soup Feud.
*cough* Andrew's *cough*
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 08:17 AM (4df7R)
So that one new voter that you register in your precinct -- think about it -- that one neighbor that you get to the polls on November the 2 I want you to understand, that could be the one that makes the difference. That one conversation, that one new volunteer you recruit, that could be the one that puts this over the top.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 23, 2012 08:17 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: B. Clinton at August 23, 2012 08:17 AM (MMC8r)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 23, 2012 08:18 AM (UOM48)
i guess Andrew is appalled, APPALLED at the rude wording!
He certainly sounded concerned didn't he?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 12:14 PM (8y9MW)
Actually, I'm thinking that would make for a good blog post topic. If only there was someone here who had their own blog..........
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 23, 2012 08:18 AM (TIIx5)
Posted by: Nukie at August 23, 2012 08:18 AM (QH36x)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:19 AM (AZGON)
Okay, so, provided we are all still in possession of our legs, and provided those legs contain their femur bones, does that mean we're all carrying concealed weapons?<<<<
I dont have all the answers. That's why it's important we have a national conversation on femurs.
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 23, 2012 08:19 AM (Ia1Mh)
Posted by: Color me confuzedud at August 23, 2012 08:19 AM (1ZF7c)
Hmmm... I think BackwardsBoy does.
BTW, there are a few new posts at my place (things I've been meaning to get to for most of the week).
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:19 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at August 23, 2012 08:19 AM (Q/1Jp)
I've got a femur and the only cure is treebark soup.
Posted by: Dirks Strewn at August 23, 2012 08:19 AM (D9CxV)
The latest development in illicit weapons is a sharpened tibia.
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 12:19 PM (AZGON)
Bullshit. Tibias as weapons fucking SUCK. Femurs rule, bitchez.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 23, 2012 08:20 AM (TIIx5)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:20 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Rahm Emanuel at August 23, 2012 08:20 AM (/YJYi)
See? If we could pull off that kind of shit you "people" would be toast.
Posted by: Hey hey, we're the Monkeys at August 23, 2012 08:20 AM (Ky1+e)
If you like your formatting you can keep. . . Who am I f*king kidding!? All your formatting are belong to us!
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 08:21 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:21 AM (AZGON)
Bullshit. Tibias as weapons fucking SUCK. Femurs rule, bitchez.
I disagree. The tibia's smaller size makes it a weapon faster to use and easier to conceal.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:21 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Warden at August 23, 2012 08:22 AM (0DlnM)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:22 AM (AZGON)
Why, I have an inkling they had the temerity to permit Catholics and even the Irish darken their door.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 23, 2012 08:23 AM (SY2Kh)
Posted by: willow at August 23, 2012 08:23 AM (TomZ9)
Well, warp me more
Just got an email (part of a chain) at work that simply said "Adding Ron." I had to restrain myself from replying with, "So we need More Ron?"
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:23 AM (8y9MW)
This just keeps popping in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ML1OZCHixR0
skip to 5:10 for the good part.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 08:23 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 23, 2012 08:24 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: Dang at August 23, 2012 08:25 AM (Ky1+e)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 12:23 PM (8y9MW)
You're damn right you need more of me, I'm the only one who can save you from the chem trails!
Posted by: Ron Paul at August 23, 2012 08:25 AM (/YJYi)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 12:23 PM (8y9MW)
Well.... if you warp enough, you start to bend into a circle... and if you bend enough.... you eventualy get back to where you started.... sooooo
Just watch out who is around, when your bent....
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 08:26 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:26 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Whiteboard 2012 at August 23, 2012 11:42 AM
------------------------------
I'm thinking China Blue as played by Katleen Turner in Crimes of Passion.
Posted by: Time Travelling Mulcter at August 23, 2012 08:27 AM (ay6+/)
Posted by: Clueless Know-it-all at August 23, 2012 08:27 AM (x9V2A)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 23, 2012 12:18 PM (UOM4
What would it cost to buy Ace a real website, like other people use?
Posted by: jwest at August 23, 2012 08:27 AM (ZDsRL)
"Just got an email (part of a chain) at work that simply said "Adding Ron." I had to restrain myself from replying with, "So we need More Ron?""
If this response is wrong, I don't want to be right.
I also find myself starting to add "enter-space" between hard-returns in email messages, and superfluous spaces between words that I delete and retype.
Typing at AoS has warped me.
Posted by: reason at August 23, 2012 08:28 AM (V40IZ)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 12:26 PM (AZGON)
Dick Dialogue? Penis Perspectives?
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 08:28 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 08:28 AM (0q2P7)
I also find myself starting to add "enter-space" between hard-returns in email messages, and superfluous spaces between words that I delete and retype.
This. I am afraid we'd all fail a written psych test thanks to pixxy. My emails look like they came from Michael J. Fox these days.
Posted by: garrett at August 23, 2012 08:29 AM (0GonM)
hands alex her tea.
sorry for tardiness i was laughing hysterically at EOJ podcast, classless person that i've become.
Posted by: willow at August 23, 2012 08:30 AM (TomZ9)
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 08:30 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:30 AM (AZGON)
You've completely forgotten shift-7 has any use at all haven't you?
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 23, 2012 08:30 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: the black monolith at August 23, 2012 08:30 AM (QupBk)
Blabberin' Balls
Cock Talk
For the gays:
Pucker Prose
Posted by: Dang at August 23, 2012 08:31 AM (Ky1+e)
ATC - "Dare I ask what you think I sound like?"
You said yourself that you look like Edna Mode.
So I pretty much extrapolate that you sound like Edna Mode.
It really makes reading some of your more salty rants all the more hilarious.
Posted by: reason at August 23, 2012 08:31 AM (5npD/)
You should only use your tibia to fight your way back to your femur.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at August 23, 2012 08:32 AM (YEelc)
Posted by: McGuyver at August 23, 2012 08:32 AM (AZGON)
http://preview.tinyurl.com/8h85oud
It does explain a number of things but at this point I've got to think that they've exceeded their limit.
Posted by: WalrusRex at August 23, 2012 08:32 AM (Hx5uv)
I frequently catch myself doing formatting w/ old BBS code instead of just highlighting what I want to change. Unfortunately, that doesn't work, and I've actually sent at lest one email with [ b]filepath[ /b] (but without the spaces), instead of actually making it bold.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:32 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 08:34 AM (05RcU)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:35 AM (8y9MW)
But are any of them trannies?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:35 AM (8y9MW)
"My emails look like they came from Michael J. Fox these days."
That is awful. Awful, I say. And I am infuriated that I cannot stop laughing.
---
"You've completely forgotten shift-7 has any use at all haven't you?"
All of the shifties are dead to me. Dead.
One of these days, we're actually gonna get some quality commenting here at this site. And we're gonna spend the next four months afterwards looking like a bunch of computer-illiterate boobs for continuing to type with our old habits.
Posted by: reason at August 23, 2012 08:36 AM (5npD/)
Posted by: alexthechick -f u autocorrect at August 23, 2012 08:36 AM (pBvEb)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 12:34 PM (05RcU)
Uh... don't they know it IS still against Federal Law, to knowingly help an Illegal Alien stay in this country?
In fact, a case can be made that the Obama Administration is in a Conspiracy to commit multiple Felonies, with his immigration policy... which IS a High Crime or Misdemeanor...
And unless he blanket pardons himself? He CAN be prosecuted once out of office.
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 08:36 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 23, 2012 12:37 PM (/kI1Q)
OH.... the new Romeny Attorney General in a few months?
Posted by: Romeo13 at August 23, 2012 08:38 AM (lZBBB)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:38 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at August 23, 2012 08:39 AM (AZGON)
That's even more amusing when you remember that Edna mentions "hobo suits".
Posted by: Waterhouse at August 23, 2012 08:40 AM (xr29d)
Posted by: Tami at August 23, 2012 08:41 AM (X6akg)
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 23, 2012 08:41 AM (8y9MW)
Posted by: garrett at August 23, 2012 12:35 PM (0GonM)
You forget that this is Massachusetts. The same Massachusetts where Martha Coakley, Mass AG, famously said, "It's not technically illegal to be illegal in Massachusetts."
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter [/i][/u][/b] at August 23, 2012 08:41 AM (4df7R)
AllenG - what is worse, the realization that you have potentially outed yourself as a Member of the Moron Horde to the people you emailed...
...or the possibility that one of them might email you back saying, "Gee, Allen, that was a pretty SCOAMFy thing to say." ?
Also - it is probably only my work pooter, but whenever I hit Post on this thread, explorer stalls out and dies, and then I have to reload the entire site. My posts are still made (poats are still maed?), but the page doesn't refresh.
I blame the embeddedness of EoJ.
Posted by: reason at August 23, 2012 08:42 AM (l2max)
Biden-Carter slashfic. Set in the present day. Someone pass me an ice pick, I need to lobotomize myself.
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 23, 2012 08:42 AM (/kI1Q)
301....Cerullo teaches classes on social movements, feminism and the Occupy Wall Street Protests. She hopes to increase the endowment to $1 million.
Which prepares those students for all those high-paying imaginary jobs out there that Barky keeps talking about.
Eesh.
I still think that colleges should have to co-sign for Student Loans.
Or something...some way to make them accountable for all these bullshit degrees they are cranking out.
Posted by: wheatie at August 23, 2012 08:42 AM (mtRB0)
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at August 23, 2012 08:44 AM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: tired at August 23, 2012 08:44 AM (wWFt6)
"That's even more amusing when you remember that Edna mentions "hobo suits"."
It is a sign!
Anyone who will try to enter Alextopia will first be confronted by a security monitor filled with alex's fantastic nostrils.
Posted by: reason at August 23, 2012 08:46 AM (l2max)
>>Awful, I say. And I am infuriated that I cannot stop laughing.
...and on the Spacebar, you loved him as Alex Keaton.
Ladies and Gentleman, give it up for Michael J. Fox.
(Band starts playing 'Shakin' all Over')
Knock it off, guys.
Thank You. Thank You.
(Band starts playing 'Hippie Shake')
NO. Really, stop it guys. That's not funny.
Posted by: Band Intros at August 23, 2012 08:47 AM (0GonM)
Posted by: Warden at August 23, 2012 08:47 AM (0DlnM)
Maybe Plugz will out himself on the air and he and Barry will exchange vows, "I have been intimate with three Presidents"....
Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush, Ogabe....
*phew* I was worried there for a minute a GOPer had stepped out on us with Slo Joe
Posted by: sven10077 at August 23, 2012 08:47 AM (LRFds)
Posted by: moki at August 23, 2012 08:50 AM (dZmFh)
Posted by: Richard Nixon at August 23, 2012 08:51 AM (l2max)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 23, 2012 08:56 AM (05RcU)
Posted by: sTevo's work around at work. at August 23, 2012 09:00 AM (OzLGu)
Posted by: 66chevelle at August 23, 2012 09:01 AM (QjSgY)
Posted by: RoyalOil at August 23, 2012 11:36 AM (imtbm)
This is pretty much what the SCOAMF and co. have been doing from the gate.
Oh and bravo, EoJ!
Posted by: baldilocks at August 23, 2012 09:02 AM (6kWFm)
Shit. Y'all expect me to keep capering for your amusement, don't you?
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 23, 2012 11:53 AM (nxyLn)
Damn skippy, my friend!! I was so pumped to see the podcast bar and to find out you had finally taken to telling the world how it should be by voice. The theme music, drink sponsor, and your 'deep thoughts' make a lovely, hilarious concoction. You had me at "Welcome, fake internet friends".. . . . . .
Please keep these coming - that WhiskeyPhonic 2D audio can't be that hard to compile. THANKS!!
Posted by: dwagyak at August 23, 2012 09:26 AM (MTNft)
Posted by: BigGator5 at August 23, 2012 10:17 AM (k/jYM)
Let Democrats continue to contribute to the Akin campaign, and let them think that there is no way in hell that he is ever going to drop out. Let them invest fully in a strategy built around these 'rape' comments.......then switch candidates.
Let's drain every last dime of extra cash that Democrats have on contributions to the opposing candidate, then let's change the candidate.
Posted by: gastorgrab at August 23, 2012 10:23 AM (FX38i)
Posted by: more bourbon at August 23, 2012 11:04 AM (IPhbB)
Posted by: steevy at August 23, 2012 02:12 PM (6o4Fb)
Posted by: LGoPs at August 23, 2012 06:11 PM (rKuFE)
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Posted by: toby928© beating memes to death since 2006 at August 23, 2012 06:44 AM (QupBk)