Ace of Spades HQ

November 11, 2012

Bad Movie Vs B-Movie Thread (with Bacon)
— CAC

Today's B-Movie: Without Warning. A young David Caruso and friends are the unfortunate victims of an alien who hunts for sport. Plot sound familiar? The actor playing the alien, Kevin Peter Hall, also played the original Predator. Nothing new in Hollywoodland. Also Jack Palance and Martin Landau play their pre-Oscar selves, their salaries gobbling up 90% of the movie's budget. The remaining 10% went into blood-sucking ninja stars. Film also features a van.

Today's Bad Movie: Prophesy. Some guy from Falcon Crest, Rocky's girlfriend, and a bunch of bad special effects show us what happens when we combine John Frankenheimer's alcoholism with an environmental message: exploding sleeping bags and dog-sized sperm.

Today's bacon-themed item: Jameson Bacon and Egg Martini, recipe below. Without Warning

Prophecy

Jameson Bacon and Egg Martini (skip to about the 45-second mark)

Posted by: CAC at 12:22 PM | Comments (150)
Post contains 149 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Greydon Clark also did the hilariously awful "Uninvited," about a mutant kitty-cat who kills some really unlikeable characters on a boat. Recommended if you can find it.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at November 11, 2012 12:24 PM (i0App)

2 Try watching Diary of the Dead. If you get threw it let me know I failed

Posted by: Mr pink at November 11, 2012 12:26 PM (UuMTV)

3 A few weeks ago, back before my heart was a cold, dead cinder, I went to the theater to see the Rifftrax guys (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett) riff on a film called "Birdemic." Made Ed Wood look like Orson Welles. The riffs were epic.

Imagine clip art birds menacing horrible actors. And yes, the birds explode when shot.

Posted by: Palandine at November 11, 2012 12:26 PM (g7D8V)

4 Meanwhile... SkyFall was pretty darn good.... the nods to Bond's of Old were a treat...

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 11, 2012 12:27 PM (lZBBB)

5 COMBAT! is on MeTV now, the over the air channel

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 11, 2012 12:30 PM (xnrlV)

6 I keep reading it as "Jason Bateman."

Posted by: Truman North at November 11, 2012 12:32 PM (I2LwF)

7 Recently was flipping around cable and saw parts of "Predator 2"

Pretty damned awful.

We make no judgement, Adam Baldwin. Young actors have to pay the rent.

Posted by: fluffy at November 11, 2012 12:33 PM (z9HTb)

8 Last night I watched X Men 2 with the Rifftrax. I love those guys.

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 11, 2012 12:34 PM (rGEm7)

9 I watched about 10 min. of some mutant bi-pedal human sized shaved kitty-cat movie....really bad.....thing wouldn't die....guy threw a bear trap at it which closed on the back of it's head....didn't work....then a bunch of cats attacked the thing....I didn't have enough mind altering substances to continue watching.

Posted by: BignJames at November 11, 2012 12:35 PM (7jCWY)

10 If we had smarts we'd set up the liveblog and synchronize the start of one of these lousy movies and then riff on it.

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 11, 2012 12:36 PM (39q3n)

11 B movies are better

Posted by: ConservativeCrank at November 11, 2012 12:37 PM (RG4AM)

12 My liberal buddy just jumped on the liberal hollywood bandwagon.

Posted by: ConservativeCrank at November 11, 2012 12:37 PM (RG4AM)

13 I also went to see the RiffTrax take on Birdemic.

Two facts that will show how bad this movie truly is -
1. Manos The Hand of Fate had better special effects.
2. Plan 9 from Outer Space had better acting.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 12:37 PM (B9up3)

14 Can we bitch about the Republic being dead on this thread or is that off limits here too? I can't get through my day without a daily dose of "woe is me". Especially because in this case it's true.

Posted by: Mr pink at November 11, 2012 12:37 PM (UuMTV)

15 I'm more of a porn fan

Posted by: Truman North at November 11, 2012 12:38 PM (I2LwF)

16 If we had smarts we'd set up the liveblog and synchronize the start of one of these lousy movies and then riff on it.

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 11, 2012 04:36 PM (39q3n)

Just don't let the AOSHQ Decision Desk run it.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 12:38 PM (BuSM8)

17 The Caruso movie is the 'B' movie, not the 'Bad' movie?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 11, 2012 12:38 PM (piMMO)

18 Am I the only one who found the bartender creepy?

Posted by: walkers! at November 11, 2012 12:38 PM (YEG/L)

19 9 I watched about 10 min. of some mutant bi-pedal human sized shaved kitty-cat movie....really bad.....thing wouldn't die....guy threw a bear trap at it which closed on the back of it's head....didn't work....then a bunch of cats attacked the thing....I didn't have enough mind altering substances to continue watching. Posted by: BignJames at November 11, 2012 04:35 PM (7jCWY) Steven Kings Sleepwalkers?

Posted by: Mr pink at November 11, 2012 12:38 PM (UuMTV)

20 Remember when SGT TROY would say "Alright, SHAKE IT!" to his men on RAT PATROL?

Posted by: Soothsayerwing Plover at November 11, 2012 12:39 PM (ATP6u)

21 Birdemic has a wiki page. Sounds hilarious.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 12:39 PM (BuSM8)

22 Hilarious if your definition of hilarity is watching about 30 minutes of a cheap Chinese knock-off of a Keanu Reeves clone try to act.

Don't forget kids, he sold solar cells!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 12:41 PM (B9up3)

23 Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie

Apparently this one is coming soon. Can't wait.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 12:43 PM (BuSM8)

24 Many of the B movies from post WW2 into the 50's were film noir. Because they had very low budgets, directors had to improvise and in so doing created a whole new language of film, lighting and camerawork that can still be seen today - ironically in A pictures when they are good.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 11, 2012 12:43 PM (XkWWK)

25 In the first HALF of Birdemic, nothing at all happens. Then the lousy clip-art birds attack (in rows, like in an arcade game).

The birds also vomit acid.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at November 11, 2012 12:44 PM (i0App)

26 Steven Kings Sleepwalkers?

Posted by: Mr pink at November 11, 2012 04:38 PM (UuMTV)

Nah....that's not it...this movie was REALLY bad

Posted by: BignJames at November 11, 2012 12:45 PM (7jCWY)

27 10 If we had smarts we'd set up the liveblog and synchronize the start of one of these lousy movies and then riff on it. Posted by: Soothsayer at November 11, 2012 04:36 PM (39q3n) Like "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" but good!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 11, 2012 12:45 PM (XkWWK)

28 I am proud to say I voted for President Obama, so proud! But, I am confused now because something strange happened at work yesterday. I was told I can keep my job, but only part time and no benefits. I don't know what changed and none of my friends here in Compton, CA do either. Something not right, but cannot figure it out. Does anyone have any ideas why this happened shortly after President Obama was re-elected ?

Posted by: LaQuisha Pipintski at November 11, 2012 12:46 PM (lJ3rV)

29 I'm more of a porn fan

Posted by: Truman North at November 11, 2012 04:38 PM (I2LwF)

Would that be a B porn movie, or a DD porn movie?

Posted by: Bruce at November 11, 2012 12:46 PM (z4eur)

30 Watched Witness For The Prosecution then Night To Remember on TCM. Now watching the Unsuspected. Love the old BW films.

Posted by: mpfs at November 11, 2012 12:46 PM (Mkhiu)

31 Sounds like Steve Irwin goes to Gilligan's Island, guest starring Don Knotts...

Posted by: model_1066 at November 11, 2012 12:46 PM (nuLjn)

32 Worst film in recent memory: War of the Worlds. with Tom Cruise.

The massive gobs of trademarked Spielbergian cheese hurled at the audience combined with the bluish CGI look and stick-figure characters made it agonizing.

And the way Dakota Fanning was filmed lends a lot of credence to Crispin Glover's accusations about Spielberg.

During the filming Cruise set up a tent for the millions of actors and extras to get free massages. The only caveat was they had to listen to a Scientology recruitment speech in order to participate.

Posted by: Llarry at November 11, 2012 12:46 PM (iA6gJ)

33 First Review of Breaking Dawn Part 2.

If you saw the first part be prepared for more crap only shittier...much like the Obama presidency.

Twilight...So Bad its Good.

FOR FUCK SAKE STOP HIRING THAT NO TALENT ONE EXPRESSION USELESS TURD OF AN ACTOR.

No Not Barack, Kristen Stewart.

Thank god i will get to see the finale before the world ends...not sure i could have gone to the afterlife without knowing what exactly came out of Kristen Stewarts vagina in that last film.

Rumor has it that Barry O is making a cameo in the film.

Posted by: jeremiah God Damn Barack Obama the Mother Fucking SCoaMF wright at November 11, 2012 12:46 PM (ovpNn)

34 wha?? MST3K is a national treasure

Posted by: soothie at November 11, 2012 12:47 PM (ATP6u)

35 MST3K is Smithsonian quality.

'nuff said.

Posted by: mpfs at November 11, 2012 12:48 PM (Mkhiu)

36 I'm really on the fence between which is worst--Manos or Birdemic. I still think it's Manos, because at least in Birdemic there was some amusement to be had from the exploding birds and tree-hugging hippie who warns of mountain lions.

Apparently, the MST3K guys say "The Beast of Yucca Flats" was the worst movie they ever saw. I think I have it in my collection, but have never watched it. I may break down and do so--it might help with me being all dead inside.

Posted by: Palandine at November 11, 2012 12:48 PM (g7D8V)

OK, since it was linked here on the side-bar, I watched the trailer for WWZ.

Jesus H. Looks like they totally screwed it up.

Posted by: HH at November 11, 2012 12:49 PM (v+ExF)

MST3K is a national treasure

There should be a wing on the Library of Congress dedicated to MST3K.

Posted by: garrett at November 11, 2012 12:49 PM (peUnS)

39 Obama's only cameo role that I know is a stunt double for Mr. Hankey.

Posted by: model_1066 at November 11, 2012 12:49 PM (nuLjn)

40 Posted by: Soothsayer at November 11, 2012 04:36 PM (39q3n) Ace, a couple Cobs and Adam Baldwin did that with that freaky "aliens come to save/enslave black people" movie by the Harvard professor that originated Critical Race Theory.

Posted by: Polliwogette, disappointed hobbit at November 11, 2012 12:50 PM (LXRdg)

41 "Prophesy" may suck, but John Frankenheimer gave us "Manchurian Candidate," "7 Days in May" (the former which we are living through, the former which I hope we soon will be), a great sic-fi thriller called "Seconds" and one of my favorite flix of all time "The Train."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 11, 2012 12:51 PM (XkWWK)

42 "Snow White and the Huntsman" - awful. Not even so-bad-it's-good.

I musta maxed out my "so-bad-it's-good" quota when I was peering through John W. Campbell's broken crystal ball in the book thread earlier.

Posted by: boulder hobo at November 11, 2012 12:51 PM (QTHTd)

43 "The Incredible Mr. Limpet" Starring John Boehner

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 11, 2012 12:52 PM (XkWWK)

44 Give me bad "B" films or give me death. I demand crap movies. They enyertain me.

I love this quote from the movie I'm watching right now. "She drank milk and her seams were straight. She bored me."

Posted by: mpfs at November 11, 2012 12:52 PM (Mkhiu)

45 One of the worst movies I ever saw in the theater was Relic. Anyone remember that one? My friend chose the movie. She chose unwisely.

Posted by: General Petraeus at November 11, 2012 12:53 PM (5H6zj)

46 "Santa Claus Conquers the Americans, er, Martians" starring Barach Hussein Obama, piss be upon him

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 11, 2012 12:53 PM (XkWWK)

47 This looks positively dreadful:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx2cTYCP0Ns&feature=related

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 12:53 PM (BuSM8)

48 "Blair Witch Project" Worst. Movie. Evar!

So lousy I had to fastforward (a bunch) to see if anything would finally happen....ran out of tape (!) before it got interesting.

Good news: it was in the 99c clearance rack.
Bad news: I actually paid that much for it.

Posted by: JeanQueenie at November 11, 2012 12:53 PM (Gmp2Z)

49 The worst film ever committed to celuloid is hollow man The second is inception followed closely by body of evidence

Posted by: General Woundwort at November 11, 2012 12:54 PM (0fxcV)

50 There's a Birdemic sequel coming out.   Yup.

We make no judgement, Adam Baldwin. Young actors have to pay the rent.

See re: Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.

Now is the time in comments when I pimp movies:

Frailty:   Bill Paxton directs and it's very very creepy. The ending actually does play fair and kicks a punch.

Session 9 (of course): Speaking of David Caruso, he's great in this Perfect combination of story and setting.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil - This is pretty close to being the Horde makes a movie, actually.

Dog Soliders - Good take on werewolves and some great what the actual fuck is going on here responses by those stuck in the situation.

Splinter - It is basically a closed room movie but the set up is mined for all its worth. I liked the take on the creature/infection.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 11, 2012 12:54 PM (Gk3SS)

51 15 I'm more of a porn fan Posted by: Truman North at November 11, 2012 04:38 PM (I2LwF) Who isn't?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 11, 2012 12:55 PM (GEICT)

Hollywood sucks.

Just say no.

Posted by: Fresh at November 11, 2012 12:55 PM (O7ksG)

53 "Mr. Mike's Mondo Video" Walked out within 15 minutes when the drowning kitten segment came on. Puke.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 11, 2012 12:55 PM (XkWWK)

54 48 "Blair Witch Project" Worst. Movie. Evar!

So lousy I had to fastforward (a bunch) to see if anything would finally happen....ran out of tape (!) before it got interesting.

Good news: it was in the 99c clearance rack.
Bad news: I actually paid that much for it.

Posted by: JeanQueenie at November 11, 2012 04:53 PM (Gmp2Z)

I admit I went to the theater to watch it. I got sucked in by watching a fake documentary they did on the history and background of the Blair Witch shown on the SciFi Channel. That docu was WAY more scary than the actual film.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 12:55 PM (BuSM8)

55 Horny General sock off

Posted by: Y-not at November 11, 2012 12:56 PM (5H6zj)

56 22 Hilarious if your definition of hilarity is watching about 30 minutes of a cheap Chinese knock-off of a Keanu Reeves clone try to act. I thought Keanu Reeves was the Chinese knock-off?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 11, 2012 12:56 PM (GEICT)

I thought hollow man had elisabeth shue naked. In which case it would be among the greatest movies ever.

Posted by: DAve at November 11, 2012 12:56 PM (XDC0v)

58 No Not Barack, Kristen Stewart.

Well, Stewart is a depressive. She has a total flatness of affect because of the the heavy medication she's on.

The worst actress on the planet is Scarlett Johannsson. Watch The Island. What she's doing is so breathtakingly awful it's like anti-acting. I was amazed that there was scene in which she can't even run convincingly.

How can someone be so bad that she can't even imitate mundane, real-life activities?

Did you ever hear Johansson sing? Good God. This is real, not a parody.

http://tinyurl.com/5sj48r

Posted by: Llarry at November 11, 2012 12:56 PM (iA6gJ)

59 Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 11, 2012 04:54 PM (Gk3SS)

I've seen all of those except one and couldn't agree with you more. All excellent films.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 12:57 PM (BuSM8)

60 Hollow Man? Just read the original HG Wells The Invisible Man.

Inception blarg. Dreamscape with Dennis Quaid trying to save the American President from being assassinated in his dreams.

Blair Witch was so stupid when I watched it, I laughed throughout the movie.

Bring back Strange Invaders!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 12:57 PM (B9up3)

61 Dolan's Cadillac and Children of Sanchez have to be the worst of the worst. I'm still barely speaking to the jackasses that inflicted these movies on me...

Posted by: Christmasghost at November 11, 2012 12:57 PM (CkK+I)

62 That piece of crap with Jim Carrey.

Which one? There are so many. The worst? That Dr. Seuss piece of dog feces.

Posted by: mpfs at November 11, 2012 12:57 PM (Mkhiu)

63 So Snow White & the Huntsman is really bad? I had heard some good things about it. Oh well.

Posted by: Y-not at November 11, 2012 12:58 PM (5H6zj)

64 I second Frailty, Session 9, and Dog Soldiers. Good movies.

Want a bad but entertaining zombie film? Look up "Special Dead"--zombies attack a camp for the mentally disabled. I was all prepared to be outraged, as I have a developmentally disabled brother, but it plays fair with all the characters...and the good guys win. It's really a lot of fun.

Posted by: Palandine at November 11, 2012 12:59 PM (g7D8V)

65 "Special Dead"--zombies attack a camp for the mentally disabled.

Who the hell thinks up these things?

Posted by: boulder hobo at November 11, 2012 01:00 PM (QTHTd)

66 Zombie Special Olympians vs the Obama Administration... must resist

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 01:00 PM (B9up3)

67 my all time favorite mst ep is RIDING WITH DANGER with Ben Murphy as the invisible Gemini Man

Posted by: soothie at November 11, 2012 01:01 PM (FC8Yl)

68 Which one? There are so many. The worst? That Dr. Seuss piece of dog feces.

Posted by: mpfs at November 11, 2012 04:57 PM (Mkhiu)

That Grinch abomination?

Posted by: model_1066 at November 11, 2012 01:01 PM (nuLjn)

69 Baloney Bear! "Prophesy"s mutant bear made entirely of lunch meat was awesome! or not. Just got back from "Skyfall". Excellent Bond flick. Basically, it's Bond vs a smarter, more ruthless Bond. Fun callbacks to classic Bond flicks and a re-establishment of the classic Bond universe in today's world. a must see if you're a Bond fan.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 11, 2012 01:03 PM (G9qZk)

70 Worst movie I've ever seen is The Adjuster. I fell asleep 15 minutes in, was nudged awake by the Good ExBF about 10 minutes later and was all happy because yay it was over! I nearly wept when it wasn't.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 11, 2012 01:03 PM (Gk3SS)

71 I think this is the movie that birthed the meme of "Mars Needs Women"

Frankenstein meets the Space Monster.
http://youtu.be/O9It2mr5hP8

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 01:03 PM (B9up3)

72 @65, boulder hobo, low-budget zombie flicks are like the B-movies of the 50s (or, I guess, like porn)--come up with a catchy title, then make the movie. At Zombie Con, I've seen

SARS Wars--SARS causes a zombie outbreak
Zombies on a Plane--'nough said

And then there's the indescribable Japanese zombie film "Wild Zero"---ROCK AND ROOOOOLLLLL!!!!

Posted by: Palandine at November 11, 2012 01:04 PM (g7D8V)

73 The invention of lying and the animated film nine were also pieces of Donkey dung

Posted by: General Woundwort at November 11, 2012 01:05 PM (0fxcV)

74 Hollywood sucks.

Just say no.

This would be a great opportunity to launch a patriotic movie studio in say, Texas. Make movies, not vehicles for leftist causes.

Anyone have a spare $100M laying around?

Posted by: fluffy, idea guy at November 11, 2012 01:05 PM (z9HTb)

I've sat and watched a lot of bad films. But the one I've never, ever been able to sit through is "Plan 9 From Outer Space".

I. just. Can't.

Can watch bits of it, but never have seen the whole thing complete.

Is it me, or is the film just that bad?

Posted by: HH at November 11, 2012 01:06 PM (v+ExF)

76 RELIC gives me fond memories 1. Mrs Roper was in it. 2. It was the last time I went to the movies with my brother and sisters.

Posted by: soothie at November 11, 2012 01:06 PM (xnrlV)

77 Mmmmmmm...Elisabeth Shue: http://tinyurl.com/batxjkk

Posted by: DAve at November 11, 2012 01:06 PM (XDC0v)

78 74 Hollywood sucks.

Just say no.

This would be a great opportunity to launch a patriotic movie studio in say, Texas. Make movies, not vehicles for leftist causes.

Anyone have a spare $100M laying around?

Posted by: fluffy, idea guy at November 11, 2012 05:05 PM (z9HTb)

Pfft...I bet that you could get rolling for a tenth of that in Texas.

Posted by: model_1066 at November 11, 2012 01:06 PM (nuLjn)

79 Jim Carrey is so desperate to save his career that he signed on to Dumb and Dumber 2.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 01:07 PM (BuSM8)

80 Anyone know of an old John Lithgow movie involving the feathered serpent "Quetzalcoatl"? I thought it was titled "Q", but I can't find it.

I distinctly remember some film reviewers (maybe Siskel and Ebert) saying it was the worst thing they had ever seen, pointing to dialog where Lithgow urges on the murderous serpent with the demand that he kill and then "Eat'em, Q! Eat'em!"

imDB doesn't have it. Was it cast into the celluloid burn bin?

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at November 11, 2012 01:08 PM (YwXwp)

81 Fluffy. Also skip the whole cinema experience. Roll the movies out streaming via Amazon or your own online distro site. For a small nominal fee to view the movie. And a slightly higher fee to own a digital copy.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 01:08 PM (B9up3)

82 listen to a Scientology recruitment speech in order to participate. Posted by: Llarry at November 11, 2012 04:46 PM (iA6gJ) after this week, doesn't sound implausible now, does it?

Posted by: gamer moronette at November 11, 2012 01:09 PM (LpQbZ)

83 Oh re: Relic - I love the book and was going to watch the movie when I discovered that the best character in the book isn't in the movie. Okay then.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 11, 2012 01:10 PM (Gk3SS)

84 79 Jim Carrey is so desperate to save his career that he signed on to Dumb and Dumber 2.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 05:07 PM (BuSM

He still has a career? Who knew? He used to be funny but now....not so much.

Posted by: model_1066 at November 11, 2012 01:10 PM (nuLjn)

85 Agree with AtC about "Splinter" it is definitely worth the watch.

Also another thumbs up on "The Train".

"Slither" and "Feast" are also recommended.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at November 11, 2012 01:10 PM (BF5Y9)

86 @80 Jim, the B-Master's Cabal has three separate reviews of Q on their site. Check it out.

http://www.b-masters.com/review-index/index-q/

Posted by: Palandine at November 11, 2012 01:11 PM (g7D8V)

87 John Lithgow's worst role ever was in The World According to Garp with Robin Williams. About time hack 0:54 of the trailer you will see why.

http://youtu.be/pxHrl-PyvTE

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 01:11 PM (B9up3)

88 Worst movie I've ever seen in theater, hands down, was 10,000 BC.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 11, 2012 01:12 PM (GEICT)

89 Crow's head should be up there on Mt. Rushmore. Right next to Bammy's.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 11, 2012 01:12 PM (pwyhn)

90 Pfft...I bet that you could get rolling for a tenth of that in Texas.

And we have all these Morons professing their love for B movies.

Posted by: fluffy, idea guy at November 11, 2012 01:12 PM (z9HTb)

Hannah and Her Sisters

I'd have a root canal before I sat through that piece of shit again.

Posted by: garrett at November 11, 2012 01:12 PM (peUnS)

92 Matt Damon

Posted by: Matt Damon, Matt Damon at November 11, 2012 01:13 PM (RsVYV)

93 I'm having trouble coming up with an A movie. Aren't they all pretty much B and less coming out of hollywood these days? It's all here bacon -- chocolate AND max B movie: Chocolate Bacon (Video 2012) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2168984/ A portrait of my experiences in the first year of grad school, presented through a series of conversations re-contextualized by abstracted characters.

Posted by: gamer moronette at November 11, 2012 01:13 PM (LpQbZ)

94 AtC, Great call on "Splinter" one of my favorite horror flicks. "Pontypool" is an excellent low budget horror movie. Just don't read the blurbs on the box or look at the pictures. "Husk" is a pretty good low budget horror movie as well. Not great but solid. "The Signal" is near great. some very creepy, very dark humor stuff in it. "Nightmare Detective" is a Japanese flick that can really creep you out if you're in a receptive mood. But, I couldn't blame anyone for hating it- slow start and some poor CGI.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 11, 2012 01:14 PM (G9qZk)

95 If you took the "Blair Witch" pseudodoc and the "Blair Witch" movie footage and edited them together you would have one good movie.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at November 11, 2012 01:14 PM (BF5Y9)

96 Diary of the Dead has some good lines & fun moments but you've pretty much got to be a Zombie film fan to like it. Romero made it for $2 million, grossed half of it back in theaters in the US and it is still out their making money. He said he financed his next two films with the profits.

Posted by: SurferDoc at November 11, 2012 01:14 PM (6H6FZ)

97 80 Anyone know of an old John Lithgow movie involving the feathered serpent "Quetzalcoatl"? I thought it was titled "Q", but I can't find it.

I distinctly remember some film reviewers (maybe Siskel and Ebert) saying it was the worst thing they had ever seen, pointing to dialog where Lithgow urges on the murderous serpent with the demand that he kill and then "Eat'em, Q! Eat'em!"

imDB doesn't have it. Was it cast into the celluloid burn bin?

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at November 11, 2012 05:08 PM (YwXwp)

There's a Larry Cohen flick named Q and it's about the god Quetzlcoatl nesting in the Empire State building or some such nonsense and attacking people. It stars Michael Moriarty, not Lithgow

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 01:14 PM (BuSM8)

98 Alien Resurrection is kinda fun if you're into psychedelic mushrooms. Not that I have any experience with that. No sir.

Posted by: model_1066 at November 11, 2012 01:14 PM (nuLjn)

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at November 11, 2012

Lithgow is not in the movie.

Gotta admit though that the movie "Q" is certainly odd.

Always liked it.

Posted by: HH at November 11, 2012 01:16 PM (v+ExF)

100 A big budget film that sucked was the Jan de Bont stinkfest The Haunting. All that money and he couldn't work a single scare into it. That was horror like Lucas would do horror.

Its ironic that the more minimalist 1963 version scared the crap out of me.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 11, 2012 01:16 PM (pwyhn)

101 Movies I hate:

Beetlejuice
Moulin Rouge (tried to watch twice but can't get past 15 minutes)
Pirates of the Caribbean (couldn't get past 10 minutes)
Falling Down
Hollow Man

I'd rather be tied down and forced to watch Flashdance every day for the remaining days of my life than to watch any one of them even once.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 11, 2012 01:17 PM (piMMO)

102 I distinctly remember some film reviewers (maybe Siskel and Ebert) saying it was the worst thing they had ever seen, pointing to dialog where Lithgow urges on the murderous serpent with the demand that he kill and then "Eat'em, Q! Eat'em!"

Harry and the Hendersons?

Posted by: fluffy, idea guy at November 11, 2012 01:17 PM (z9HTb)

103 I can do Omar Shariff's voice-over for 10,000BC dead bang perfect...
"But Old Mother did not eat nor did she sleep..."

Posted by: SurferDoc at November 11, 2012 01:18 PM (6H6FZ)

104 I just watched The Company Men and really liked it.

Not too long ago I might have thought it an anti-big business propaganda piece, but with clearer eyes these past few months, I see it as more of an anti-asshole of a CEO movie.

Outstanding acting.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 11, 2012 01:18 PM (piMMO)

105 Slither is great.

I was watching The Crimson Rivers the other day and if you like Jean Reno, I highly recommend it.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 11, 2012 01:19 PM (Gk3SS)

106 I liked 10,00 BC. They certainly took liberties, but I managed to get past that. It was fun escapism. I think Mrs fluffy caught up on her magazines while I watched.

Posted by: fluffy at November 11, 2012 01:19 PM (z9HTb)

107 Anyone see the Star Wars prequels? I hear they kind of sucked.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 11, 2012 01:20 PM (pwyhn)

108 @81 Screw that, just pirate that shit. Hollywood won't see another dime from me.

Posted by: Gozer the Gozarian at November 11, 2012 01:20 PM (nD2pm)

109 I'm watching The Mist right now on Scyfy and had to laugh when some idiot pulled a broom soaking in gas or kerosene or something out of the bucket, lit it on fire to attack a demon monster or something, and then promptly tripped over the mop bucket and fell on the floor, thus lighting the spilled contents into a giant fireball. You could see someone stumbling around on fire in the background. lol!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 01:21 PM (BuSM8)

110 Your move.

Posted by: Death at November 11, 2012 01:22 PM (pwyhn)

111 I have low standards and enjoy lots of films people with taste don't like. I think Beetlejuice was an overdone, grating piece of shit, for example.

Posted by: SurferDoc at November 11, 2012 01:22 PM (6H6FZ)

112 91 Hannah and Her Sisters I'd have a root canal before I sat through that piece of shit again. ----- Purple Rose of Cairo Another friend's choice. Gawdawful.

Posted by: Y-not at November 11, 2012 01:23 PM (5H6zj)

113 I mentioned the Ellen Jamesians a week ago and no one picked up on the obscure reference.

Posted by: soothie at November 11, 2012 01:23 PM (Y4TdB)

114 Heh. Bacon (2012) "Bacon" is a comedic look at the sinister and sizzling desires of Jade (Kelsey Zukowski), a struggling addict. Bacon consumes her every thought. Her obsession and infatuation begins affecting her health, relationships, and day-to-day life. Her boyfriend, Jackson (Jason Sullivan) and her meddling ex-roommate, Aubrey (Tina Renee Grace), decide to take drastic measures in getting her clean by depriving her of bacon, the thing she needs most. Jade's withdrawal puts her in a desperate and dark place. Will she get clean or is her intimate love for bacon the strongest weapon of all? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2173896/

Posted by: gamer moronette at November 11, 2012 01:24 PM (LpQbZ)

115 Vick is out, maybe for a few plays...

Posted by: soothie at November 11, 2012 01:24 PM (8dspl)

116 If you like bad 70's Eurohorror "Nude for Satan" is available on netflix instant. I can't in good conscience give it a thumbs up but it is entertaining. And Bad.

Anyone ever see "Tombs of the Blind Dead" or "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things"?

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at November 11, 2012 01:24 PM (BF5Y9)

117 Living by an airport is interesting. You get to know aircraft just by the sound they make on takeoff or approach. I think a C5 just flew over my house.

Posted by: Soona at November 11, 2012 01:24 PM (yZkq3)

118 7 Recently was flipping around cable and saw parts of "Predator 2"

Pretty damned awful.

We make no judgement, Adam Baldwin. Young actors have to pay the rent.
Posted by: fluffy

Right after Firefly I had quite the rabid Adam Baldwin obsession ..lots of "paying the rent" happened.

I've scoured the interwebs and acquired a lot of vhs tapes of his early work. One of my favorites is "Next of Kin." Sooooo hot in that Italian jewelry and wife-beater. Reminded me of my teenage years, hanging out at the Italian "Feast" in Melrose Park.

Posted by: Gem at November 11, 2012 01:26 PM (zw+pb)

119

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 11, 2012 05:12 PM (pwyhn)

Liked the film but the deviations from the comic nagged the shit out of me. Bai Ling was hot as ever though

Posted by: The Dude at November 11, 2012 01:26 PM (tw6Ar)

120 This is now ten days of officially being a Texas resident. I think I'm gonna need a bigger place.

Posted by: I Lurk Hard For My Money at November 11, 2012 01:26 PM (DHBCd)

121 102 I distinctly remember some film reviewers (maybe Siskel and Ebert) saying it was the worst thing they had ever seen, pointing to dialog where Lithgow urges on the murderous serpent with the demand that he kill and then "Eat'em, Q! Eat'em!" ===== just go to IMDB and plug in John Lithgow http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001475/ Everything he's ever done is in there.

Posted by: gamer moronette at November 11, 2012 01:27 PM (LpQbZ)

122 Living by an airport is interesting. You get to know aircraft just by the sound they make on takeoff or approach. I think a C5 just flew over my house.

Now civilian 4-holers are rare. Just the 747 and A380, I think.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 11, 2012 01:27 PM (pwyhn)

123

Gerry

Awful. Most awful. Awfulest. No, most awfulest.

It's really bad.

Posted by: garrett at November 11, 2012 01:28 PM (3chgk)

124 Oh and I've got a great B movie story. Hold on...

Posted by: I Lurk Hard For My Money at November 11, 2012 01:28 PM (DHBCd)

125 I'm having trouble coming up with an A movie.

Well, if you can put aside his politics, George Clooney's Up in the Air one of the best movies I've seen. Punches you right in the gut.

It was called an anti-capitalist movie, but I didn't perceive that at all. It was a movie about not letting your job define you and become the most important thing in your life.

Seven Pounds[/i[ with Will Smith is another great film.

[i]Transylvania with Asia Argento and Birol Ãœnel is a masterpiece.

Catch Me if You Can with Hanks and DiCaprio is incredible.

All of them are full of leftist actors, but I love movies too much to stop watching them. Besides, this last election was lost because Republicans didn't turn out. The Republican voters own this failure.

Except for the evangelicals. How's that for ironic? The one group that had the sense to turn out was made up of people everyone was sure would stay home, yet they showed more selfless patriotism and responsibility than the fiscal conservatives and Tea Party.

Good for you, evangelicals. I salute you. Well done. You're better than all the people who constantly put you down.

Posted by: Llarry at November 11, 2012 01:29 PM (iA6gJ)

126 Oh God, Gerry. Yeah, that one was aggressively stupid.

I actually like "people dong dumb stuff in the wilderness" movies. I liked The Blair Witch Project, and I LOVED Into the Wild.

But Gerry, yeah, I'd blocked that one out of my consciousness until now.

Posted by: Palandine at November 11, 2012 01:31 PM (g7D8V)

127 Vick is out, maybe for a few plays... Posted by: soothie at November 11, 2012 05:24 PM (8dspl) ======== he has a concussion not coming back

Posted by: gamer moronette at November 11, 2012 01:32 PM (LpQbZ)

128 Now civilian 4-holers are rare. Just the 747 and A380, I think.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 11, 2012 05:27 PM (pwyhn)

-------------------------------------------

With high-bypass fans with 100,000 lbs. of thrust, who needs four engines. Although, I've often wondered why they never fitted them to the "BUFFs".

Posted by: Soona at November 11, 2012 01:33 PM (yZkq3)

129

Out, out damn slantiness!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 11, 2012 01:33 PM (Gk3SS)

130 Bubba Hotep starring Bruce Campbell

Posted by: eurw at November 11, 2012 01:33 PM (piNTd)

131 With high-bypass fans with 100,000 lbs. of thrust, who needs four engines. Although, I've often wondered why they never fitted them to the "BUFFs".

I fly to Asia two or three times a year, usually on 777s or A340s. It's sobering to be midway across the Pacific, over water and a thousand miles from any airport in a two-engine plane. It amazes me that they're as reliable as they are, making 15-hour flights day in and day out.

Yeah, its odd that B-52s still run eight engines.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 11, 2012 01:37 PM (pwyhn)

132 129 Out, out damn slantiness! Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 11, 2012 05:33 PM (Gk3SS) I'm not familiar with that movie.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 11, 2012 01:38 PM (GEICT)

133 and I LOVED Into the Wild.

Into the Wild is heartbreaking when you know it's a true story.

I've mentioned before that I really like Emile Hirsch. Given that and my love for alien invasion movies, it's a wonder I disliked The Darkest Hour as much as I did. There are individual parts of it I liked quite a bit, such as having the one guy be a cowardly dick and having one of the girls constantly freaking out and demanding to know why the hell it was they were always leaving the places that were safe. I thought the idea of aliens appearing as energy beings was interesting. Setting it in Moscow was a good change of pace. Some of the set pieces were outstanding. But the whole thing just fell flat. God knows it's not like I have standards, I thought Battleship was tons of fun. The Darkest Hour just was a bunch of meh though.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 11, 2012 01:39 PM (Gk3SS)

134 97 80 There's a Larry Cohen flick named Q and it's about the god Quetzlcoatl nesting in the Empire State building or some such nonsense and attacking people. It stars Michael Moriarty, not Lithgow

*********
Yessss! And thanks. Moriarty looks a bit like Lithgow, hence my mistake.

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at November 11, 2012 01:42 PM (YwXwp)

135 Movies I hate: Falling Down

Funny how taste works. That's one of my favorite films of all time. I just watched it again a few days ago. Every time I see it, I catch another little smidgen of brilliance and subtlety packed into it.

The only thing that bothered me about it--something that's so pro forma now that it's almost too stupid to mention--is that in the opening scene in which Michael Douglas is taking in his awful surroundings, there's a huge American flag hanging on the side of the bus beside him.

Get it?! This is America! We suck!!!!!!

In the end of Silence of the Lambs, after Jodie Foster shoots Ted Levine, there's an American flag displayed prominently behind him. There was also one in the storage unit covering the car with the severed head.

Get it?! America is responsible for shootings and serial killers!!!!!!

The way I look at it now is the way I look at my father. He's 84 and has chronic meterorism, which causes uncontrollable farting. Everyone in Hollywood has meteorism of the mind. They simply can't help farting out their idiocy, so I ignore it the way I ignore my father's endless breaking of wind.

Posted by: Llarry at November 11, 2012 01:42 PM (ydx+F)

136

Around the same time as the original Night Of The Living Dead i saw a movie at the drive in called I Eat Your Skin, I Drink Your Blood. If i remember correctly the town brat spiked dinner with blood from rabid rats and gave the whole town rabies.

Posted by: c6dave at November 11, 2012 01:47 PM (I08eI)

137 I spent a whole summer during high school seeking out recommended bad movies. Kept a log of the ones that lived down to their reputations.

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
All About Steve (2009)
Annie The Musical 1982
Around the World in 80 Days (2004)
At Long Last Love (1975)
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
The Avengers (199

Ballistic Ecks vs Sever (2002)
Barb Wire (1996)
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
Batman and Robin (1997)
Battlefield Earth (2000)
Blackenstein (1974)
Blade Trinity (2004)
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
The Blair Witch Project II - Book of Shadows
Blood The Last Vampire (2009)
Bolero
The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990)
The Bounty Hunter (2010)
Bratz (2007)
Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee Film (199

Can't Stop The Music (1980)
The Carpetbaggers
Catwoman (2004)
Cliffhanger 1993
Cocktail (198

Congo (1995)
The Creeping Terror (1964)
Crossroads (2002)
CutThroat Island (1995)
The Day the Fish Came Out (1967)
Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo
Dirty Love (2005)
Disaster Movie (200

Doctor Dolittle (1967)
Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat (2003)
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Epic Movie (2007)
Fat Slags (2004)
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
From Justin to Kelly (2003)
G.I. Joe The Rise Of Cobra (2009)
The Giant Claw (1957)
Gigli (2003)
Glen or Glenda (1953)
Glitter (2001)
Grease 2
Grease
Hart's War (2002)
The Happening
Heaven's Gate (1980)
The Hottie and the Nottie (200

House of Wax
Howard the Duck (1986)
Hudson Hawk (1991)
I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
In the Name of the King - A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)
Indecent Proposal (1993)
Ishtar (1987)
K-19 The Widowmaker (2002)
Kazaam (1996)
Lady in the Water (2006)
The Land of the Lost
The Last Airbender (2010)
Last Year at Marienbad (1961)
Leonard Part 6 (1987)
Little Man (20006)
Little Nicky
Lost Horizon (1973)
The Love Guru (200

Mac and Me (198

The Majestic (2001)
Manos, the Hands of Fate (1966)
The Mask 2 - Son of the Mask (2005)
Mommie Dearest (1981)
Motherhood
Myra Breckinridge (1970)
The Next Best Thing Norbit (2007)
Old Dogs (2009)
Orca The Killer Whale
Picasso Trigger (198

Plan Nine From Outer Space (1959)
The Postman (1997)
Rambo - First Blood Part II
Robot Monster (1953)
Rollerball (2002)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
The Scarlet Letter (2004)
Scream, Blacula, Scream
Sex and the City 2 (2010)
Sex Lives of the Potato Men (1973)
Shining Through (1992)
Showgirls (1995)
Song of Norway (1970)
Soul Plane (2004)
Speed Racer (200

Star Trek 5 - The Final Frontier
Staying Alive (1983)
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
Street Fighter(1994)
Striptease (1996)
The Stupids
Superbabies - Baby Geniuses 2 (1999)
Surviving Christmas (2004)
Swept Away (2002)
The Tin Drum (1979)
Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Troll 2 (198

Under the Cherry Moon
Valley of the Dolls (1967)
Vampires Suck (2010)
Waterworld (1995)
White Chicks (2004)
Who's Your Caddy (2007)
The Wild Wild West (2009)
Windtalkers (2002)
Year One (2009)
Zombie Nation (2004)

Posted by: little miss spellcheck at November 11, 2012 01:50 PM (a5ljo)

138 136
Around the same time as the original Night Of The Living Dead i saw a movie at the drive in called I Eat Your Skin, I Drink Your Blood. If i remember correctly the town brat spiked dinner with blood from rabid rats and gave the whole town rabies.

Posted by: c6dave at November 11, 2012 05:47 PM (I08eI)

It was better than that...they used it to infect a group of hippies!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2012 01:51 PM (BuSM8)

139 Prophesy sucks but it is not a "bad movie," it s definitely an awesome "B movie." Well, it definitely does not suck as much as my dumb ass neighbor downstairs who is currently writing a bad, bad, BAD rap song, which I can hear through the floor. Seriously though, The Prophesy has an awesome monster and more Native American cockgobbling than you can shake a stick at.

Posted by: Done and Done at November 11, 2012 02:02 PM (BgIBZ)

140 I have low standards and enjoy lots of films people with taste don't like. I think Beetlejuice was an overdone, grating piece of shit, for example.

*****

We are in complete agreement.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 11, 2012 02:14 PM (piMMO)

141 I have not seen Prophecy in a long time but I remember enjoying it as a kid (I actually saw it in the theaters) and the scene with the sleeping bag is seared - SEARED - in my memory. Though I do not have fresh eyes I will defend it as a B-Movie and not a bad movie.

Posted by: Tommy V at November 11, 2012 02:21 PM (ZYlKz)

142 137 LMSC Would it have been quicker to list the movies that *didn't* suck?

Posted by: Polliwogette, disappointed hobbit at November 11, 2012 02:27 PM (NYki8)

143 Almost posted this on the Firefly thread. But this movie is truly one of the horrible science fiction movies. From 1972 Silent Running starring Bruce Dern, three robots, and songs by Joan Baez.

http://youtu.be/TckJBvl_uT0

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 02:38 PM (B9up3)

144 In the end of Silence of the Lambs, after Jodie Foster shoots Ted Levine, there's an American flag displayed prominently behind him. There was also one in the storage unit covering the car with the severed head.Get it?! America is responsible for shootings and serial killers!!!!!!

That, and the congresswoman's daughter singing "American Girl" in the car.

The killer "Buffalo Bill" was the victim of America; Hannibal Lector was the cultured critic of America who hopes to become Nemesis. The villain of the movie was the US, and most specifically small town Appalachians who vote for Republicans like the congresswoman.

Posted by: boulder hobo at November 11, 2012 02:59 PM (QTHTd)

145 @143 Almost posted this on the Firefly thread. But this movie is truly one of the horrible science fiction movies. From 1972 Silent Running starring Bruce Dern, three robots, and songs by Joan Baez. http://youtu.be/TckJBvl_uT0 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 11, 2012 06:38 PM (B9up3) Gah, I hate that movie. The whole chasing the rogue forest ranger and his forest through space is just moronic. Cripes, just let them go. Adios, you green mofo!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 11, 2012 02:59 PM (G9qZk)

146 The killer "Buffalo Bill" was the victim of America; Hannibal Lector was the cultured critic of America who hopes to become Nemesis.

A cultured critic of America who hopes to become Nemesis...

Strange that your description strikes such a chord in me. Who in the news might fit that description?

His name is on the tip of my tongue!

Posted by: Llarry at November 11, 2012 03:08 PM (plvMs)

147 speaking of "Silence of the Lambs"... Anyone think Obama celebrated his win by tucking his junk between his legs and dancing nude around the oval office?

Posted by: naturalfake at November 11, 2012 03:10 PM (G9qZk)

148 Ahhh, "Without Warning..."

True story. When I was a senior, my buddies and I saw that movie at the local drive in theater. We stole a line from the movie that we still use to this day when it can be squeezed-in to our nostalgic humor: "She's a cool chick, and she's comin' with."

Don't even know if that's a verbatim quote or not, but there's something like it in that movie, and we swiped it.

Posted by: IronDioPriest at November 11, 2012 08:57 PM (1dJQd)

149 Love "Prophecy". The sleeping bag swat scene is one of the funniest scenes of all time in any movie anywhere.

Posted by: sherlockzz at November 12, 2012 04:18 AM (Fv3hP)

150 You stick that shit in brackets?

Posted by: Eisenhorn at November 14, 2012 06:39 PM (OjQYm)

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