Ace of Spades HQ

May 16, 2012

Chris Matthews-- Idiot. Open Thread
— DrewM

So....apparently Ace posted this yesterday. We have a minimum number of double posts we have to provide. I'm just doing my bit for the cause.

Also, it's inevitable that in a post where you call someone an idiot, you make a dumb mistake. You can't argue with it, it's just science.

Open thread!

Original Post:
A little late to it but still fun.

Matthews made a big deal of how stupid Palin was/is and how she should have to go on Jeopardy! to prove herself or something.

Well, Crazy Uncle Chris did go on the show and didn't fare too well. See for yourself below the fold.

How badly did he do? He lost to Robert "You Know I'm Lying Because My Lips Are Moving" Gibbs. Ouch.

Posted by: DrewM at 07:21 AM | Comments (102)
Post contains 137 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Chris Matthews (D-Mensa)

Posted by: pep at May 16, 2012 07:22 AM (YXmuI)

2 Palin has always had more brains in her left nipple than that shithead has in his whole body.

And Palin's candidates are still doing good.

Posted by: Vic at May 16, 2012 07:23 AM (YdQQY)

3
Seriously?

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 16, 2012 07:24 AM (rDUTp)

4
Well, it's better than a poll post, I guess.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 16, 2012 07:24 AM (rDUTp)

5 Chris is going to be our next spokesperson. Depends will prevent the thin gruel from running down his leg in November.

Posted by: Depends Undergarments at May 16, 2012 07:25 AM (c3mby)

6 Give him a break, he was probably drunk again.

Posted by: Countrysquire at May 16, 2012 07:25 AM (1hLHC)

7 By the end of the game that wasn't a tingle going down his leg.

Posted by: jinxthecat at May 16, 2012 07:26 AM (l3vZN)

8 A 6-letter capitol in which St. Basil's Cathedral is located.

Hagia Sophia in Istanbul. Very close.

Posted by: pep at May 16, 2012 07:27 AM (YXmuI)

9 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 16, 2012 07:27 AM (8y9MW)

10 Hey Chris, how does it feel to get pwned by Robert fucking Gibbs? Shit, I bet Trig could have walked (toddled) away with more money.

Posted by: EC at May 16, 2012 07:27 AM (GQ8sn)

11 Is there any chance that we can get the AoSHQ electoral projections to sum to 538?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 16, 2012 07:27 AM (3Zo6I)

12 Or 'what is an adding error'

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 16, 2012 07:28 AM (3Zo6I)

13 And what else is funny? "Celebrity Jeopardy" is notoriously dumbed-down from the regular show.

Posted by: Jimbo at May 16, 2012 07:28 AM (O3R/2)

14 Or, perhaps, in theme:

Me: "Presidential Acronyms for $400, Alex."
Alex: "SCOAMT."
Me: "Who is Barack Hussein Obama?"

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 16, 2012 07:28 AM (8y9MW)

15 Look, it's the rare non-ace double post! Take pictures!

Posted by: joncelli, too stressed by half at May 16, 2012 07:28 AM (RD7QR)

16 Just keep putting this back up there, 'cause this is never getting old...

Posted by: zombie Dr. MLK Jr. at May 16, 2012 07:29 AM (GBXon)

17 Ultimate Jeopardy! showdown that I would pay to watch just for the inevitable bellylaughs:

Wolf Blizter

Chris Matthews

Joe Biden

Admit it, you'd want to watch this one too just for the sheer insanity of watching three "smart" people trying to edge each other out in terms of who has the smallest negative dollar score at the end of the show.

Posted by: EC at May 16, 2012 07:30 AM (GQ8sn)

Wolf Blizter

Chris Matthews

Joe Biden

----

What, no Sean Connery?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 16, 2012 07:32 AM (3Zo6I)

19 Just keep putting this back up there, 'cause this is never getting old...
That's what your granny said last night, Trebek!

Posted by: sean connery at May 16, 2012 07:32 AM (FTuxU)

20 Well, it's better than a poll post, I guess.

How nasty was the Tray-Zim thread getting?

Posted by: fluffy at May 16, 2012 07:32 AM (z9HTb)

21 20 So, we have Wolf Blitzer and Chris Matthews lined up for the most awesome episode of Jeopardy ever. We're just waiting for one more.

Posted by: runninrebel at May 16, 2012 11:31 AM (N/1Dm)

What ish Jack Daniels?

Posted by: Diane "Hic!" Sawyer at May 16, 2012 07:32 AM (RD7QR)

22 The buzzer was faulty but I couldn't tell through the tingles. That's why I lost bitches.

Posted by: Chris Mathews at May 16, 2012 07:33 AM (tf9Ne)

23 What, no Sean Connery?

In my opinion, Sean Connery's answers were all correct!!!

Posted by: EC at May 16, 2012 07:33 AM (GQ8sn)

24 Oh, and suck it, ~~Trebek~~ Matthews!

Posted by: sean connery at May 16, 2012 07:33 AM (FTuxU)

Dana Perino did worse than Matthews. I was shocked. For some of the questions, it wasn't just her but the two others - they couldn't even get ET's famous line, or, when asked about movie ratings, couldn't guess that the G rating was missing from the group of other ratings. She ended the game with 0 dollars, under Kareem Abdul Jabar and some guy named Faber.

Chris Wallace is on this evening. Hopefully, he will do better.

Posted by: sydney jane at May 16, 2012 07:33 AM (t6l3d)

26 <i>I have a sock...</i>

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica City DMV at May 16, 2012 07:34 AM (GBXon)

27 ET phone ~~home~~ Obama.

Posted by: E.T. at whitehouse.gov at May 16, 2012 07:34 AM (FTuxU)

28 >>>Admit it, you'd want to watch this one too just for the sheer insanity of watching three "smart" people trying to edge each other out in terms of who has the smallest negative dollar score at the end of the show.

Glenn, aren't you supposed to be on the air right now?

Posted by: not a fan at May 16, 2012 07:34 AM (gCa4h)

29 Maybe substitute Joe Biden, if he's too busy making an ass of himself on the campaign trail, Keanu Reeves.

"What is eleventy?"

"No, incorrect. And that's not even a real number."

Posted by: EC at May 16, 2012 07:34 AM (GQ8sn)

30 Chauncey Gardiner

Well, I'd suggest Chauncey Gardiner, but then it would be a blowout.

Posted by: pep at May 16, 2012 07:35 AM (YXmuI)

31 The good news of Matthews' caramel-laden schadenfreude is that Lorne Michaels has a new contestant to go at it with Turd Ferguson and Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy next year in an SNL skit.

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at May 16, 2012 07:35 AM (BvTwT)

32
Chris Matthew's bio says he has a 1/32 Mensa membership

Posted by: Human buttplugs for $100, Alex at May 16, 2012 07:36 AM (gppu7)

33 OT-

The ECB has cut off a number of Greek banks and the unofficial total of withdrawals during the Greek bank run of the past day is now over $1.2 billion.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at May 16, 2012 07:36 AM (e0xKF)

34 Chauncey Gardiner is pushing up flowers these days.

Posted by: Zombie Peter Sellers at May 16, 2012 07:36 AM (O3R/2)

35 22 Just keep putting this back up there, 'cause this is never getting old... That's what your granny said last night, Trebek! Posted by: sean connery at May 16, 2012 11:32 AM (FTuxU) I'll take "The Rapists" for $200

Posted by: Sean Connery - ii at May 16, 2012 07:36 AM (136wp)

36
ot
Nice juicy headline from Drudge.
North Carolina Romney 51% scoamf 43%.
Likely Voters from Rasmussen.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 16, 2012 07:37 AM (Klb0T)

37 I listened to Beck mocking Chrissy on the way to the doctor yesterday and had to sit in the car for a bit to wipe the tears from my eyes I was laughing so hard.

I would have actually gotten Francis Gary Powers because there was a monument to him across from my first apartment in SC.

Also, I knew St. Basil's is in Moscow, and nearly keeled over when he missed that one. Istanbul? Really?

They said when I voted for McCain we'd have a total retard for VP. And they were right.

Keep f*cking that chicken, Chrissy.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2012 07:37 AM (UOM48)

38 Well, shit.

Posted by: The Narrative at May 16, 2012 07:37 AM (x2CNJ)

39 What is "CHOCKIT ICE CWEAM", Alex?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 16, 2012 07:37 AM (8W5lq)

40 The ECB has cut off a number of Greek banks and the unofficial total of withdrawals during the Greek bank run of the past day is now over $1.2 billion.

I'll take massive civil unrest for $200, Alex.

Posted by: EC at May 16, 2012 07:37 AM (GQ8sn)

41 1.2 Billion dollars or Euros?

Posted by: Jimbo at May 16, 2012 07:37 AM (O3R/2)

42 Cut him some slack. Him and gay Obama have been busy making his leg tingle.

Posted by: dogfish at May 16, 2012 07:37 AM (N2yhW)

43 I feel sorry for the guys who run that show. They wanted to get "Turd Ferguson" and by some mixup instead brought on at least two actual turds.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at May 16, 2012 07:38 AM (DbhrR)

Me: "Presidential Acronyms for $400, Alex."
Alex: "SCOAMT."
Me: "Who is Barack Hussein Obama?"

Finally, a Jeoprady question I would ask.

One of my favorite bits of Groundhog Day is Bill Murray swigging straight from the bottle while answering all the questions on Jeoprady. I would so do that.

Posted by: alexthechick at May 16, 2012 07:38 AM (VtjlW)

45 Jeopardy isn't really Matthews' game. He'd do better at Who Wants To Be An Administration Lickspittle.

Posted by: Cicero at May 16, 2012 07:38 AM (qhHI4)

46 How nasty was the Tray-Zim thread getting?

Not bad, really. We've got a couple of idiots, but it hasn't gotten any more uncivil than a normal thread.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 16, 2012 07:39 AM (8y9MW)

47 Chris Wallace interviewed Trebek on FNS a couple of weeks ago. Trebek was asked about whether he had to dumb down the questions for celebrities and his non-answer said it all.

Also, Dana Perino was on and Trebek pulled her aside to say that he watches The Five every day.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 16, 2012 07:39 AM (piMMO)

48 Annd fucking hell assume I can spell.

Posted by: alexthechick at May 16, 2012 07:39 AM (VtjlW)

49 A 6-letter capitol in which St. Basil's Cathedral is located.

Hagia Sophia in Istanbul. Very close.

Posted by: pep at May 16, 2012 11:27 AM (YXmuI)

Hey he at least got the correct number of letters in Istanbul...oh wait

Posted by: Hedgehog at May 16, 2012 07:39 AM (3jGS1)

50 He was off his game because he forgot his drool cup.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2012 07:39 AM (UOM48)

51 I would have actually gotten Francis Gary Powers because there was a monument to him across from my first apartment in SC.

Not only that, every history class or news article or trivia I ever heard about the U2 that got shot down listed his full name, never Francis Powers. No way anyone who lived in the US did not hear his full name.

Posted by: EC at May 16, 2012 07:39 AM (GQ8sn)

52 The ECB has cut off a number of Greek banks and the unofficial total of withdrawals during the Greek bank run of the past day is now over $1.2 billion.Posted by: Brandon

So what'chur sayin' is Opa and Change is not a good fiscal plan?

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at May 16, 2012 07:39 AM (ebPtk)

53 How nasty was the Tray-Zim thread getting?

Not bad, really. We've got a couple of idiots, but it hasn't gotten any more uncivil than a normal thread.

****

Not nasty, just a fellow moron tossing out shit that can easily be debunked if he would actually read something about it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 16, 2012 07:40 AM (piMMO)

54 Jobs. Three letters right there.

Posted by: Joey Mensa Biden at May 16, 2012 07:40 AM (UOM48)

55 Was this Fucking Retard day at Jeopardy?

Posted by: Dagny at May 16, 2012 07:40 AM (mFIbw)

56 Jeff, wth is a Cletus Rape-stache?

Posted by: Darth Chipmunk at May 16, 2012 07:40 AM (pVvkk)

57 What is "CHOCKIT ICE CWEAM", Alex?

*****

teheheheheehee

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 16, 2012 07:40 AM (piMMO)

58 One of my favorite bits of Groundhog Day is Bill Murray swigging straight from the bottle while answering all the questions on Jeoprady. I would so do that.

Lake Titicaca.

Posted by: Phil Connors at May 16, 2012 07:42 AM (qhHI4)

59 Matthews thought since Gibbs was there that all the questions would be about the taste of Obama.

Posted by: Dagny at May 16, 2012 07:42 AM (mFIbw)

60 64 Matthews thought since Gibbs was there that all the questions would be about the taste of Obama.

Posted by: Dagny at May 16, 2012 11:42 AM (mFIbw

ewwwwwwww

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 16, 2012 07:43 AM (UOM48)

61 15 And what else is funny? "Celebrity Jeopardy" is notoriously dumbed-down from the regular show.

Posted by: Jimbo at May 16, 2012 11:28 AM (O3R/2)

--That's partly because the contestants are doing it for charity, so it's a bit of "charity" on the part of the show itself. But (at least when I watched it regularly) it was College Jeopardy that had the toughest questions.

Posted by: logprof at May 16, 2012 07:45 AM (ykSKg)

62 Even Wolf Blitzed did better than Tingles. And that's not saying much.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 16, 2012 07:45 AM (noo6E)

63 I'm glad ace found a friend who seems like a fairly normal, functional adult and one who is willing to post things in the morning.

Since we're reposting yesterday's s***, I'll repost yesterday's response...

"I'll take Anal Bum Cover for $600, Alex!"

Posted by: Sean Connery at May 16, 2012 07:46 AM (PMGbu)

A mustache that connects to your sideburns, with the chin being cleanshaven.

I have a pic of myself in one I did as part of my White Trash Beard Project - I'll put it up one of these days.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 16, 2012 07:46 AM (8W5lq)

65 What a fucking idiot.

Posted by: Cliff Claven at May 16, 2012 07:47 AM (ykSKg)

66 Alex, I'll take "Anal Bum Covers" for $500.

Posted by: Sean Fuckin' Connery at May 16, 2012 07:48 AM (YSyyZ)

67 You actually have no idea how stupid he is. We're talking Megan McCain territory here.

link below

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 16, 2012 07:48 AM (pLTLS)

so much self regard, so little intelligence.

"I'll take Anal Bum Cover for $600, Alex!"

What is the name of Chris Matthew's favorite flavor?

Posted by: model_1066 at May 16, 2012 07:48 AM (YbQJm)

69 Noam Chomsky: Sarah Palin Was Right About Obama's 'Hopey Changey Stuff'

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at May 16, 2012 07:49 AM (e8kgV)

70 Jesus, too much fucking scotch. I'm double posting or something.

Posted by: Sean Fuckin' Connery at May 16, 2012 07:49 AM (YSyyZ)

71 64 Matthews thought since Gibbs was there that all the questions would be about the taste of Obama.
Posted by: Dagny at May 16, 2012 11:42 AM (mFIbw)

What is "Like fruit punch with raspberry sorbet (with a turd in it)"

Incorrect, Chrissy, the answer is "What is all the colors of the rainbow (with a turd in it)."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at May 16, 2012 07:50 AM (HmCnI)

72 "Jeopardy isn't really Matthews' game. He'd do better at Who Wants To Be An Administration Lickspittle."

Heh. Lickspittle is a funny word.

Posted by: meekrob at May 16, 2012 07:50 AM (x2CNJ)

73 ffo kcos. Need coffee, brain no worky. I'm feeling Bidenish.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at May 16, 2012 07:50 AM (YSyyZ)

74 I'll take "BallsTo The Chin" for $200, Bara.....uh...I mean Alex.".

Posted by: Chris Matthews at May 16, 2012 07:50 AM (ShuAW)

75 A mustache that connects to your sideburns, with the chin being cleanshaven.

Isn't that actually called "Burnsides?"

Posted by: meekrob at May 16, 2012 07:51 AM (x2CNJ)

76 80 A mustache that connects to your sideburns, with the chin being cleanshaven.

Isn't that actually called "Burnsides?"

Posted by: meekrob at May 16, 2012 11:51 AM (x2CNJ)

Yes.

Posted by: The Rent is too Damn High Guy at May 16, 2012 07:52 AM (ykSKg)

77 Noam Chomsky: Sarah Palin Was Right About Obama's 'Hopey Changey Stuff'

The cool vector has now completely doubled back on itself, and I predict that the avant garde thing to do among the really high profile bien pensants will be to disdain O.

Everything they do is a pose. Everything.

Posted by: pep at May 16, 2012 07:52 AM (YXmuI)

78 I'll take " CatchThe Semen" for $600, Trebek."

Posted by: Sean Fckn' Connery at May 16, 2012 07:52 AM (ShuAW)

79
I, for one, welcome our new gay lord!

Posted by: Chrissy "Mr. Leg Tingles" Matthews at May 16, 2012 07:53 AM (HmCnI)

80 Fuck, I forgot Obama was black!

Posted by: Teaching Mr. Tingle at May 16, 2012 07:54 AM (ykSKg)

@80, no. It doesn't go straight across to your sideburns. It's a full beard with the chin shaven.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 16, 2012 07:55 AM (8W5lq)

82 85 Fuck, I forgot Obama was black! Posted by: Teaching Mr. Tingle at May 16, 2012 11:54 AM (ykSKg) What! I'm Black! Damn

Posted by: Barack Insane Obama at May 16, 2012 07:56 AM (136wp)

83 Reminds me of Olbermann boasting about his 'Ivy League' academic record, and then it turns out he went to cow college.

Q. Does this crippling level of Dunning-Kruger cognitive deficit bias one towards Leftism? It certainly seems that this sort of puffed-up, preening dickbaggery is, um, over-represented on the Left.

Posted by: David Gillies at May 16, 2012 07:56 AM (OLivq)

84 Noam Chomsky: Sarah Palin Was Right About Obama's 'Hopey Changey Stuff'

When you've lost Noam Chomsky...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica City DMV at May 16, 2012 07:56 AM (GBXon)

85 A mustache that connects to your sideburns, with the chin being cleanshaven.

I have a pic of myself in one I did as part of my White Trash Beard Project - I'll put it up one of these days.

*****

Which reminds me!

http://vimeo.com/42106181

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 16, 2012 07:57 AM (piMMO)

86 Hey, Trebek, what's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck ... and I forget how it ends, but your mother's a whore.

Posted by: Sean Connery at May 16, 2012 07:58 AM (PEnme)

87
Best Jeopardy panel evah?

Cher, Patches Kennedy, and Barbra Streisand!

Posted by: Doctor Fish ( Posting from Mom's Computer in Texas) at May 16, 2012 07:58 AM (ndqJC)

88 82Noam Chomsky: Sarah Palin Was Right About Obama's 'Hopey Changey Stuff'

The cool vector has now completely doubled back on itself, and I predict that the avant garde thing to do among the really high profile bien pensants will be to disdain O.

Everything they do is a pose. Everything.

Posted by: pep at May 16, 2012 11:52 AM (YXmuI)

Not when Chompsky sucks cock....not posing at all...he's totally into that. Just ask the bums around MIT.

Posted by: model_1066 at May 16, 2012 08:01 AM (YbQJm)

89 Trebek: "Please stop going out of turn, Mr. Connery." Sean Connery: " What is, Things I've Never Heard Your Mother Say To Me" Trebek.

Posted by: Sean Fckn' Connery at May 16, 2012 08:07 AM (ShuAW)

90 omg I hadn't had time to watch this until now! I'm crying over here! Awesome. The Prep (St Joe's) should be sooooo proud ha ha ha ha ha! good job Jesuits! omg I do hope the "mushy middle" sees this and assimilates some valuable information about our intellectual elites . . .

Posted by: BlackOrchid at May 16, 2012 08:08 AM (SB0V2)

91 Everything they do is a pose. Everything.

****

Right. The whole purpose is to prove that they are just so much better than us, smarter than us, and, dog gone it, people just like them.

I have thought since 2008 that the day would come when Obama screwed up so badly that the left would have to choose between the Obamanation and their precious Marxism. Somebody has to be the fall guy and it ain't gonna be Marx.

Posted by: WalrusRex at May 16, 2012 08:13 AM (Hx5uv)

92 Cut the guy some slack. Considering how much Matthews was drinking, a lesser mortal would have been in coma.

Posted by: repeating myself at May 16, 2012 08:14 AM (NG097)

Manny Pacquaio banned from major Los Angeles shopping mall, The Grove, due to his stance against gay marriage.

Details via the Yahoo! main page and/or Yahoo! Sports.

Posted by: OCBill at May 16, 2012 08:17 AM (rFipM)

94 Last nigh I read the lyrics for "California Ueber Alles" for the first time, OCBill. Chillingly prescient. As for the O love dropping off, I noted last year that a lot of stickers were scraped off and a lot of posters taken down over the Libya invasion. Still a few left - biracial families and public school principals, that I saw. The die hards.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at May 16, 2012 08:22 AM (DbhrR)

95 Did he not understand the game?

Posted by: Fart at May 16, 2012 08:47 AM (Zk68F)

96 You know Matthews went in there thinking he was going to pwn.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 16, 2012 09:05 AM (Iyg03)

97 First, God made idiots for practice. Then He made school boards. Then He made Chris Matthews. Then He wept.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at May 16, 2012 09:10 AM (1hM1d)

98 Jesus, too much fucking scotch. I'm double posting or something.

It's always noon somewheres in the world, isn't it, ya great montebank?

Posted by: Sean Connery at May 16, 2012 09:19 AM (PMGbu)

99 Everyone above points out that Istanbul is not six letters, which proves Chris couldn't pass first-grade arithmetic.

More important, Istanbul is not a capital. Ankara is the capital of Turkey. Which means Chris couldn't pass fourth-grade geography.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 16, 2012 09:43 AM (a5ljo)

100 Chris Matthews, graduate of La Salle high school, not St. Joe's Prep.

Posted by: Ries Gorthanes at May 16, 2012 10:09 AM (Xd92z)

101 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at May 16, 2012 10:43 AM (7W3wI)

102

Obama's gay lover not doing well.

Posted by: burt at May 16, 2012 03:11 PM (OzqQM)

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