Ace of Spades HQ

January 04, 2013

Cotton Bowl
— Dave in Texas

Was just reading through old theory new theory list from ace's previous post. My theory is as societies and cultures become more prosperous, they get fatter. Cause Pizza Huts open there. As far as carbs go, when I put theory into practice and cut carbs, I lose weight. When I eat em I don't.

Also I pretty much hate him for linking that pic.

OU (11) and the Texas A&M Aggies (9) kick off in about 20 minutes. I can't offer up much for my Sooner and Aggies in this one, if it's any consolation I won't hate both teams tonight.

That's all I got. It'll have to do.

A&M doesn't do "cheerleaders", they do "Yell Leaders". Dudes in white pant suits.

Dudes. In White. Pant. Suits.

aggie yell leaders humpit_thumb[2] (400x297).jpg

I like the dog. Collies are cute.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 03:44 PM | Comments (101)
Post contains 138 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Collies are cute, so are the cheerleaders!

Posted by: Man-Pig-Bear at January 04, 2013 03:45 PM (Oi60j)

2 "Yell Leaders"? Is that what they're calling them now?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 04, 2013 03:45 PM (QKKT0)

3 The Pizza Hut crisis is just screaming for federal intervention.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 04, 2013 03:46 PM (QKKT0)

4 i would have thought those tops had built in bras

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at January 04, 2013 03:48 PM (z4+1a)

5 PRESENT......ELBOWS!!!!

ORDER...........ELBOWS!!!!

Posted by: EC at January 04, 2013 03:48 PM (doBIb)

6 The Y-not household will be rooting for the Aggies:

pic.twitter.com/gyeyo03J

Normally this might not mean much, but we did decide to root for Louisville the other day.

Posted by: Y-not at January 04, 2013 03:48 PM (5H6zj)

7 What a bunch of boobs.

Posted by: Truman North, padding the sock puppet numbers at January 04, 2013 03:48 PM (CN2Eq)

8 That first picture has more pits than an AARP breakfast.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 04, 2013 03:48 PM (QKKT0)

9 I must have my chakra released. I just cashed in big time, I sold to those who share my values.

Posted by: Man-Pig-Bear at January 04, 2013 03:49 PM (Oi60j)

10 How can they be effective Yell Leaders without beer helmets?

Posted by: johnd01 at January 04, 2013 03:49 PM (r0+v0)

11 Smartest dog I had growing up was a Collie. He knew what property was his and guarded it. Rats did not survive his vigilance. Two years after he died neighborhood kids were still wondering if he was going to show up to chase them away.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 04, 2013 03:49 PM (Xb7i3)

12 8 That first picture has more pits than an AARP breakfast.

Also, that first CL has a rather nasty pit fold. It's sad, really, because she's otherwise attractive.

Posted by: pep at January 04, 2013 03:50 PM (6TB1Z)

How can we have a post about the Cotton Bowl without talking about Tom Cotton, the best representative in the House after the departure of Allen West (and from Arkansas - land of cotton)

Point of order morans. Did anyone read today's Powerline article on Senator Cruz? In the article they hinted at a potential powerful combination for 2016. That's right bitches:

MARCO RUBIO-TOM COTTON 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you morans can say you heard the groundswell here first, because I am going to do everything in my power to make it fucking happen. In the meantime, I need to figure out how to change the Illinois constitution so that these Chicago dem bastards can't take away our Bill of Rights with a fucking majority vote. And I think I've figured out the way!!!! Watch that rock their world for 2014, they won't even know it's coming until the petition is filed 6 months before the general election. Suck it commies!!

Posted by: Prescient11 at January 04, 2013 03:50 PM (en30F)

14 I hear the crotch sniffing is might good on the other sideline

Posted by: Lassie at January 04, 2013 03:50 PM (tdaam)

15 Too many armpits.

Posted by: wooga at January 04, 2013 03:51 PM (Dqcf5)

16 Meh, sharp shoulders. Cut paper with those things.

Posted by: johnd01 at January 04, 2013 03:53 PM (r0+v0)

17 Dave, it's so very simple. OU has a law school. A&M does not. There you go.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 04, 2013 03:53 PM (xSegX)

18 I live in Arlington and made the mistake of driving near the stadium for lunch today... good grief there was college kids everywhere! Looking forward to a good game. I'm slightly pulling for the Aggies since that would cap off a great year for them, but as long as it's a good game, I'll be happy for either of them.

Posted by: Yip at January 04, 2013 03:55 PM (/jHWN)

19 "Dudes. In White. Pant. Suits."

Consequence of lead in diet.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 04, 2013 03:55 PM (eHIJJ)

20 Ace is doomed, he wants to be a frog.

Posted by: sTevo at January 04, 2013 03:56 PM (VMcEw)

21 Dudes in white pant suits leading yells does not, repeat not, have a homosexual connotation. Young girls hopping up and down in skimpy ill fitting clothes on the other hand ... This all has to do with the United Nations.

Posted by: Jack S. Phoggbound, Esq. Attorney for the Buttchuging White Boys at January 04, 2013 03:57 PM (p4U6S)

22 sTevo, he is blinded by some highbeams. Plus watching OSS117 and Wasabi!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 04, 2013 03:57 PM (Xb7i3)

23 Puppy!

Yaaay puppy!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. We're not worthy. at January 04, 2013 03:57 PM (Gk3SS)

24 That isn't a zit in the pit on the first one . Is it ? IS IT ???

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 04, 2013 03:58 PM (tZFXb)

25 Did I just imagine it, or was there a post on the Three Musketeers here? I wrote a few French words in reply - maybe that made it explode.

Posted by: Dr. Mabuse at January 04, 2013 03:58 PM (FkH4y)

26 I love the Oklahoma Sooners because,

i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu27/jfkmlcl/OU.jpg

Posted by: Fritz at January 04, 2013 03:58 PM (w3+gB)

27 I do not wish to purchase any of tonight's offerings. Take them away.

Posted by: Invictus at January 04, 2013 03:59 PM (OQpzc)

28 I really wish the cheerleader in front would quit staring at me.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at January 04, 2013 03:59 PM (YYyqq)

29 There was another post up but Ace used his French made time machine to adjust reality.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 04, 2013 03:59 PM (Xb7i3)

Can we just name this the honorary "Tom Cotton" post??!!

Sorry guys, just had to. Yes, I am a loser on the blog on a Friday night, but what can I say.... I spent today further exercising my God given Second Amendment rights.

Posted by: Prescient11 at January 04, 2013 03:59 PM (en30F)

31 Did I just imagine it, or was there a post on the Three Musketeers here? I wrote a few French words in reply - maybe that made it explode.

The second rule of AoSHQ Comment Club is no French words.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 04, 2013 04:00 PM (QKKT0)

32 i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu27/jfkmlcl/OU.jpg Here you see the OU law class midway through learning to count to two. It did not end well.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 04, 2013 04:00 PM (xSegX)

33 23 Puppy! Yaaay puppy! Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. We're not worthy. at January 04, 2013 07:57 PM (Gk3SS) I prefer puppies over puppy.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at January 04, 2013 04:00 PM (IvVLN)

34 Cotton Bowl?

More like Massa Bowl.

Posted by: Toure at January 04, 2013 04:00 PM (Rq+Vo)

35 The more I see this video the more I think George Bush was not a fool but a genious: http://tinyurl.com/a49phsm

Posted by: DAve, whose interest is purely medical at January 04, 2013 04:01 PM (XDC0v)

36 I prefer puppies over puppy. Gives me indigestion.

Posted by: Barack Obama at January 04, 2013 04:01 PM (xSegX)

37 BCochran, as long as its puppies and not pupae...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 04, 2013 04:01 PM (Xb7i3)

38 I live on Sooner Road in OKC. Guess who I want to win.

Posted by: Not an Artist at January 04, 2013 04:02 PM (uRumV)

39 Cute. Thanks for not posting (as was done recently) pic of cheerleaders in that "body stocking" or whatever that was. I threw up in my mouth a little. That should be a disqualifier when choosing pics, imo.

Must see the skin, belly button if possible. That is all.

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at January 04, 2013 04:03 PM (zpqa2)

40 I love to wrestle with sweater puppies

Posted by: DAve at January 04, 2013 04:03 PM (XDC0v)

41 No Tarantula Bowl? I'm thinking there is an opportunity for some entrepreneur who wants to run a tarantula herd.

Posted by: Invictus at January 04, 2013 04:03 PM (OQpzc)

42 I have a theory too, well, actually a couple of indisputable facts. With libsmegma pulling the strings, you're boned. All yell kings are aholes.

Posted by: FURPC at January 04, 2013 04:04 PM (0ImZM)

43 The dudes in white are presenting to the entire team? Pace yourselves to one at a time, boys.

Posted by: Anthropolizer at January 04, 2013 04:05 PM (I88Jc)

44 @32 Holy thin strip of fabric, Batman!

Posted by: Thorvald at January 04, 2013 04:05 PM (1V6Pv)

45 Since we are denied A&M cheerleaders...... http://tinyurl.com/aj48avy

Posted by: BCochran1981 at January 04, 2013 04:06 PM (IvVLN)

46 @41 The crocodile farmers in Australia add barbiturates to the feed of their animals so they won't eat each other. Or used to. They were selling croc hides, so residues weren't an issue. Maybe keep the furry l'il 8-leggers cooler, but not so cool that they won't grow quickly and tasty? Just a shot in the dark here.

Posted by: Thorvald at January 04, 2013 04:08 PM (1V6Pv)

47 Go Johnny Football!

Posted by: Y-not at January 04, 2013 04:12 PM (5H6zj)

48
Haven't seen Johnny Football all year, that kid has got some wheels.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 04, 2013 04:13 PM (69Mdf)

49 My ex was Aggie. He was nauseating.

Go Sooners.

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs at January 04, 2013 04:15 PM (Mkhiu)

50 Posted by: BCochran1981 at January 04, 2013 08:06 PM Only a 12 pack of beast light from making the front page of red tube. Nomnomnom.

Posted by: DC in Towson at January 04, 2013 04:17 PM (Ai+tZ)

51 First blood!

Posted by: Y-not at January 04, 2013 04:17 PM (5H6zj)

52 Manziel is going to do that all night long against OU's defense. OU cannot defend the run.

Posted by: Not an Artist at January 04, 2013 04:19 PM (uRumV)

53 @45 Nice! It noticed their projectiles stayed with the torque. Good thing. I'd like to see what one of those Cowgirls would do on the back of a turbocharged Hayabusa. Prolly achieve orbit.

Posted by: Thorvald at January 04, 2013 04:19 PM (1V6Pv)

54 I love Oklahoma side boobs

Posted by: kbdabear at January 04, 2013 04:21 PM (wwsoB)

55 This is a problem for UT alum. Which do we want to lose more? It's a shame they can't both lose. Both are spoilers. As a Texan, you want the TX team to win except for the Aggies. I predict a the Aggies by a score of 4 - 2. OU will have a TB nullified by a penalty.

Posted by: Frankly at January 04, 2013 04:35 PM (7O7Oo)

56 Brother Johnny Manziel should simply admit his African heritage. Obviously, no full-blood white could run the way he does. It is an affront to my ancestors seeing an Uncle Tom like him cashing in on his light skin to win awards and play college football in the south, the most racist part of this racist land. Give it up, Brother Manziel! Come home!

Posted by: Toure' Neblett, padding the sock puppet numbers at January 04, 2013 04:40 PM (I2LwF)

57 I couldn't agree with Brother Neblett more.

Posted by: Jason Whitlock, padding the sock puppet numbers at January 04, 2013 04:41 PM (I2LwF)

58 Can we give them both a Prize this year?

Posted by: The Pullitzer Commitee, padding the sock puppet numbers at January 04, 2013 04:42 PM (I2LwF)

59 Why are the Aggie cheerleaders bent over?

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 04:43 PM (N2yhW)

60 Gov. Perry. Yell Leader. I wince.

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 04:45 PM (N2yhW)

61 OU 'pits. Wanna bury my nose in'm. Sorry but they are still in the Big 12.

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 04:47 PM (N2yhW)

62 A 14 14 tie would be the perfect outcome, but it can't happen. Hell, last night I learned you can get a one point safety in college football.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 04, 2013 04:56 PM (pUqSw)

63 As a practical matter, cheerleaders are cute but get in the way. Yell leaders actual start some pretty good chants.

Posted by: mare at January 04, 2013 04:56 PM (A98Xu)

64 60 Gov. Perry. Yell Leader. I wince. Why?

Posted by: mare at January 04, 2013 04:56 PM (A98Xu)

65 Posted by: mare

Go with the joke.

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 04:58 PM (N2yhW)

66 Did you hear about the Aggie that broke his arm raking leaves?

Fell out of the tree.

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 04:59 PM (N2yhW)

67 Do you know what is the first thing a Texas Aggie cheerleader does when she gets up in the morning? She gets dressed and goes home.

Posted by: Not an Artist at January 04, 2013 05:04 PM (uRumV)

68 Remember when those were "Polish" jokes?

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 05:05 PM (N2yhW)

69 Great interception, and a better return! He faked tha first tackler into a 360 fail. Interesting game.

Posted by: Looking Glass at January 04, 2013 05:23 PM (g3wOT)

70 And Johnny Football takes advantage with a reverse then a completion downfield. Now a run down to the 5 yard line. Gag 'em, Iggies!

Posted by: Looking Glass at January 04, 2013 05:23 PM (g3wOT)

Johnny Manziel done be a cornbread brutha!

Posted by: Some racist POS on ESPN I'm too lazy to Google it at January 04, 2013 05:28 PM (ZETiK)

72 Well we know which teams the refs have money on. Jesus what is it gonna take for A&M to get a pass interference call?

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at January 04, 2013 05:33 PM (ZETiK)

73 I remember when Rice's marching band did a halftime tribute to Reveille, the A&M mascot Of course, Rice being Rice, they were already losing 30 to nothing They formed a giant fireplug The Aggies rioted and literally kicked the shit out of Rice's band I miss the ol' Southwest Conference

Posted by: Queequeg at January 04, 2013 05:43 PM (lD8ju)

74 AmishDude, A&M may not have a Law School, but they have a kickass Vet School!

Posted by: Queequeg at January 04, 2013 05:49 PM (lD8ju)

75 Quequeg.. I remember that. And I remember when they let a few dozen armadilloes painted white with little longhorns on the side (like football helmets) loose on the field in Austin.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 04, 2013 05:54 PM (pUqSw)

76 @73
That's a great story.

Found it at the Rice website:
http://ricefootball.net/mobday.htm

Posted by: Y-not at January 04, 2013 05:54 PM (5H6zj)

77 Erin Andrews is wearing naughty librarian glasses. She's killing me

Posted by: UGAdawg at January 04, 2013 06:02 PM (WYOrt)

78 Do they still call OU Cocalahoma? Once heard that there were direct flights from Bolivia to Norman on a weekly basis.

Posted by: Dick Nixon at January 04, 2013 06:03 PM (VrVBw)

79 Damn sock.. Dave, yeah Rice was always the brainy weird kid in the SWC I was on the UT track team as a javelin throwing for one strange year and our meets with Rice always ended with a lot of pot smoking afterwards

Posted by: TexasJew at January 04, 2013 06:07 PM (lD8ju)

80 This is funny (via Slublog on Twitter):

https://twitter.com/Slublog/status/287394515088707586

Posted by: Y-not at January 04, 2013 06:09 PM (5H6zj)

81 >>Dave, yeah Rice was always the brainy weird kid in the SWC

Sort of like Northwestern in the Big 10

Pretty campus, though.

Posted by: Y-not at January 04, 2013 06:09 PM (5H6zj)

82 Rice is a beautiful campus. Along with SMU, it's the prettiest in Texas. One memory - I went to the '73 Cotton Bowl on some scalped tickets and we somehow wound up in the middle of the Alabama section - a tiny island of burnt orange in a huge sea of red. We had to learn their fight songs if we were to get out alive.

Posted by: TexasJew at January 04, 2013 06:16 PM (lD8ju)

83 Do you know what is the first thing a Texas Aggie cheerleader does when she gets up in the morning?

Asks: "Are you guys all on the same team?"

Posted by: NC Ref at January 04, 2013 06:28 PM (/izg2)

Queequeg,

What's wrong with a Vet school? It's not like the world needs more lawyers.

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at January 04, 2013 06:37 PM (ZETiK)

85 Posted by: TexasJew

I'd say Tech is the prettiest in the middle of one of the most desolate places in TX. ...especially at Christmas.

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 06:39 PM (N2yhW)

86 A&M's kicker sucks donkey scrotum. Definitely need an upgrade at that position next year.

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at January 04, 2013 06:39 PM (ZETiK)

87 Ace might cringe, but at AoSHQ you can say balls.

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 06:41 PM (N2yhW)

88 Ernie I wasn't being critical of the Vet school at all It's ranked number 2 in the nation, just behind Cornell.

Posted by: TexasJew at January 04, 2013 06:49 PM (lD8ju)

89 Manziel is the real deal.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at January 04, 2013 06:50 PM (QupBk)

TexasJew,

No worries.

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at January 04, 2013 06:52 PM (ZETiK)

91 Texas A&M has a 3 touchdown lead at the start of the 4th quarter. And the best Oklahoma can hope to do is make a long clock-killing drive ending in a touchdown.

Posted by: Looking Glass at January 04, 2013 07:05 PM (g3wOT)

92 These announcers suck.

Posted by: dogfish at January 04, 2013 07:19 PM (N2yhW)

93 They have yet to show Reveille!

Posted by: Y-not's collies at January 04, 2013 07:24 PM (5H6zj)

94 What a beating.

Posted by: toby928© polluting your thread with football at January 04, 2013 07:42 PM (QupBk)

95 Gotta admit, Johnny Football is pretty good at football.

Posted by: RM at January 04, 2013 07:59 PM (ixDYs)

96
Is that Matt Damon in the middle?

Posted by: thebronze at January 05, 2013 12:36 AM (QatNX)

97 67 Do you know what is the first thing a Texas Aggie cheerleader does when she gets up in the morning? She gets dressed and goes home. Posted by: Not an Artist at January 04, 2013 09:04 PM (uRumV) ~~~~~~~ After she fixes me breakfast.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at January 05, 2013 07:58 AM (RXQ2T)

98 About the Rice MOB, circa 1973: They formed a giant fireplug The Aggies rioted and literally kicked the shit out of Rice's band Let's turn to wikipedia: ------ In 1973 the Texas A&M Aggies took exception to a MOB performance which featured such typical MOB irreverence as Nazi-style goosestepping, turning the Aggie War Hymn into "Little Wooden Soldier March", and forming a fire hydrant while playing "Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?" in reference to the Aggie mascot Reveille.[6] After the game, the Aggies formed an angry mob outside Rice's own stadium, trapping the Owl band inside for hours until police dispersed some of the crowd and allowed the band to exit, transported by food service trucks. ----

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at January 05, 2013 12:59 PM (1hM1d)

99 Rice is a beautiful campus. As I recall, you step off campus and you can find plenty of hookers and blow. Not the best neighborhood, at least it wasn't 20 some years ago.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at January 05, 2013 01:04 PM (1hM1d)

100 They are NOT white pant suits, ass. Hillary wears white pant suits, jerk. Scoreboard. If you want to check out Aggie babes catch a basketball game. They have chicks in skirts there. Dick.

Posted by: Rock at January 05, 2013 04:26 PM (nPei1)

101 AmishDude A&M has a law school.

Posted by: Scot at January 06, 2013 07:48 PM (5hrUu)

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