Ace of Spades HQ

January 25, 2012

Damn I'm So Hungry
— Ace

I think I'll make a sandwich.

Posted by: Ace at 10:10 AM | Comments (94)
Post contains 14 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Alrighteee.

Posted by: dogfish at January 25, 2012 10:11 AM (NuPNl)

2 Greatest post ever.

Posted by: Chris at January 25, 2012 10:11 AM (lJvDA)

3 With Dodd and Kennedy?

Posted by: Truman North at January 25, 2012 10:12 AM (I2LwF)

4 Making a sandwich? Sounds like woman's work to me.

Posted by: SnowSoul at January 25, 2012 10:12 AM (eLaeq)

5 2 Greatest post ever.

Posted by: Chris at January 25, 2012 02:11 PM (lJvDA)

Kinda wordy, though.

Posted by: Josef K. at January 25, 2012 10:12 AM (7+pP9)

6 So is this Ace of Twitter now?

Posted by: joncelli, too stressed by half at January 25, 2012 10:12 AM (RD7QR)

7 This is why I read this blog. Quality content like this.

Posted by: Lilikoi at January 25, 2012 10:13 AM (GR1F5)

8 Only RINOs make sandwiches.

Posted by: Don't Panic! at January 25, 2012 10:14 AM (ggRof)

9
I always loved Ace's "Eschaton" parodies.

Posted by: soothsayer, ballbuster extraordinaire at January 25, 2012 10:14 AM (sqkOB)

10 Get the woman to make the sammich. Its their job after all...

Posted by: catmman at January 25, 2012 10:14 AM (DTzwU)

11 What gives Ace? You don't have a woman there to make one for you?

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 25, 2012 10:14 AM (JourR)

12 I'm so randy. I think I'll go get laid.

Posted by: Soona at January 25, 2012 10:14 AM (NWQfv)

13 Only God can make a sandwich. You're assembling a sandwich.

Posted by: AoSHQ Pedant #31 at January 25, 2012 10:14 AM (h6mPj)

14 I hate when the politicians order a sandwich.

Posted by: Waitress at January 25, 2012 10:14 AM (F6KtL)

15
Ace, you shoulda wrote: "brb, makin a sandwich" instead

Posted by: soothsayer, ballbuster extraordinaire at January 25, 2012 10:14 AM (sqkOB)

16
Errr, men make sandwiches, women make sammiches.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 25, 2012 10:15 AM (XCHGh)

17 While you"re there I'll have a ham and swiss on rye

Posted by: dontheflyer at January 25, 2012 10:15 AM (Ibx+6)

18 Hell, I'll vote for a sammich over OBumbles!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at January 25, 2012 10:15 AM (71LDo)

19
Real men don't just eat the olives in their martinis, they eat the fucking toothpick.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 25, 2012 10:15 AM (Qxdfp)

20 I smell a Johnny Coldcuts appearance any moment now. Bring it.

Posted by: Really deep thinker at January 25, 2012 10:15 AM (0N9lD)

21 Huh.

Posted by: wte9 at January 25, 2012 10:15 AM (PwUE9)

22
Don't tease. You have a Johnny Coldcuts post coming up?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 25, 2012 10:16 AM (XCHGh)

23 Now you morons know why I only read the comments.

Posted by: Andrew Breitbart at January 25, 2012 10:16 AM (Xm1aB)

24
Posted by: Really deep thinker at January 25, 2012 02:15 PM (0N9lD)

Great minds think alike.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 25, 2012 10:16 AM (XCHGh)

25 "Enjoy every sandwich"

- Warren Zevon

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 25, 2012 10:16 AM (Qxdfp)

26 Look into the drug Metformin, ace.

Posted by: Random at January 25, 2012 10:17 AM (YiE0S)

27 If Obama was a sandwich, what kind would he be?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 25, 2012 10:17 AM (Qxdfp)

28

Best post in years.

Posted by: dan-O at January 25, 2012 10:17 AM (sWycd)

With real mayonnaise. Especially on the french fries.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at January 25, 2012 10:17 AM (W54Uh)

Making your own sandwich is a violation of union rules. My friend, Bruno, and his crowbar would like to have a word with you....

Posted by: International Brotherhood of Sandwich Construction Workers at January 25, 2012 10:17 AM (ggRof)

31 I'm going to go assemble a dump.

Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at January 25, 2012 10:17 AM (QQAJP)

32 Feces Panini?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 25, 2012 10:18 AM (Qxdfp)

33
I can sense this is a very pro-Mitt post by Ace.

Posted by: soothsayer, ballbuster extraordinaire at January 25, 2012 10:18 AM (sqkOB)

Miracle Whip--not so much.

Not. So. Much.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at January 25, 2012 10:18 AM (W54Uh)

I'm impressed, Ace. Ya' wanna fuck?

Posted by: Martha Stewart at January 25, 2012 10:19 AM (NWQfv)

36 I just made some sammichs, sausage links on whole wheat.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 25, 2012 10:19 AM (0I4YH)

37 Let this sink in for a minute: Ace is so hungry, he's cooking.

Posted by: Truman North at January 25, 2012 10:19 AM (I2LwF)

38 Now, I'll buy into any conspiracy theory that has to do with Miracle Whip.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 25, 2012 10:19 AM (Qxdfp)

I can sense this is a very pro-Mitt post by Ace.

RINO!

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at January 25, 2012 10:19 AM (W54Uh)

40 Clearly we need Bobby Jindal in a brokered convention. Obama proves America now prefers pencil-necked geeks as President. (On a serious note, would it kill Jindal to do just a little weight work? If he honestly wants to be President then 5'9, 135 lb is not gonna cut it. Some chin raises, some lat pulldowns. Come on, man.)

Posted by: Clubber Lang at January 25, 2012 10:20 AM (ZPrif)

41 37 Let this sink in for a minute: Ace is so hungry, he's cooking

I never thought of a slice of spam between two pop-tarts as cooking, but to each his own.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 25, 2012 10:20 AM (Qxdfp)

42

So which is the shit sandwich, Gingrich or Mitt?

(I'm going with Newt)

Posted by: imp at January 25, 2012 10:21 AM (UaxA0)

43 Oh come on. What's not to love about Miracle Whip? It's tangy and tastes great on sammiches.

Posted by: mpfs at January 25, 2012 10:21 AM (iYbLN)

44 Someone sent me this last week:

Men are driven by two things...sex and hunger. If he doesn't have an erection make him a sandwich.

Posted by: creeper at January 25, 2012 10:21 AM (gre5a)

"If Obama was a sandwich, what kind would he be?"

A slice of rye and a slice of wheat with absolutely nothing in between.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at January 25, 2012 10:21 AM (YmPwQ)

I never thought of a slice of spam between two pop-tarts as cooking, but to each his own.

If you nuke it, sure.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at January 25, 2012 10:21 AM (W54Uh)

47 True moron sandwich: double cheeseburger between two deep-fried Reubens

Posted by: Truman North at January 25, 2012 10:22 AM (I2LwF)

48 44

Or make his erection a sammich.

Kill two birds with one stone.

Posted by: mpfs at January 25, 2012 10:22 AM (iYbLN)

49 Well, I once heard the perfect woman transforms into a roast beef sandwich right after sex.

Posted by: Dave at January 25, 2012 10:22 AM (Xm1aB)

Hmmm, Ace is hungry. Any reports of missing hobos in the tri-sate area?

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at January 25, 2012 10:23 AM (YmPwQ)

51 Clearly this an anti-Romney, NewtBot post. It's an implied jab at Romney, who's such a rich fuck he's never made his own sandwiches. Newt knows what it's like to open up your own WonderBread and squeeze out your own mustard and sniff your own three-week old turkey-bologna.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at January 25, 2012 10:23 AM (ZPrif)

52 @ 43 Oh come on. What's not to love about Miracle Whip? It's tangy and tastes great on sammiches.

http://theoatmeal.com/blog/miracle_whip

Posted by: Mongoose at January 25, 2012 10:23 AM (KM86p)

53 Double-bacon cheesburger between 2 halves of a sliced Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut. Just don't tell your cardiologist.

Posted by: Dave at January 25, 2012 10:24 AM (Xm1aB)

54 That is so wrong Mongoose!

Posted by: mpfs at January 25, 2012 10:24 AM (iYbLN)

55 I clearly heard Ace say "boy" in the title.

Posted by: mpfs at January 25, 2012 10:25 AM (iYbLN)

56 Just finished my ham sandwich

Posted by: Jared Loughner at January 25, 2012 10:26 AM (e8kgV)

57 HAHAHA, LOL, sorry I hate Miracle Whip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDcBG1x9X7Q

Posted by: Mongoose at January 25, 2012 10:27 AM (KM86p)

Any woman willing to make herself one half of a BJ sandwich is my kind of woman.

Posted by: Truman North at January 25, 2012 10:27 AM (I2LwF)

59 What is this Facebook?

Posted by: twiceblessedmom at January 25, 2012 10:28 AM (CGuMF)

60 Post of the year

Posted by: brak at January 25, 2012 10:29 AM (C/zXJ)

61 What is this Facebook?

Posted by: twiceblessedmom at January 25, 2012 02:28 PM (CGuMF)

Nope. It's twitter. All posts must 149 characters or less. Got that JeffB?

Posted by: Soona at January 25, 2012 10:31 AM (NWQfv)

62 This Deli Tray is Unacceptable!

Posted by: Oderus at January 25, 2012 10:31 AM (RVYt5)

63 The world is going to hell in a handbasket, the Marxist president just gave his "Fuck You America" speech last night, Mitt and Newt are incinerating each other in the quest to lose to the lousiest president in history, and we've been cursed with yet another Pats-Giants Superbowl. Yet, somehow, ace still has an appetite.

Posted by: Dave at January 25, 2012 10:32 AM (Xm1aB)

64 Thanks Ace. I had to run down to the deli and get a turkey on wheat.

Posted by: mpfs at January 25, 2012 10:35 AM (iYbLN)

65 Hobo population hardest hit

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 25, 2012 10:39 AM (FIDMq)

66 If we could post links here, I'd post a sausage link, but the Heh, Indeed guy just posted the [British] evidence that fried stuff does not cause heart disease, after all. As long as it's olive oil, and in Spain. There is that.

Posted by: comatus at January 25, 2012 10:41 AM (ySTXt)

67 You want a sandwich? You can come and get your fucking sandwich.

Posted by: Johnny Coldcuts at January 25, 2012 10:43 AM (6T8Ay)

68
Lion meat panini.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 25, 2012 10:44 AM (QMtmy)

69 Sandwichezzz bitchezzzz.

Ace would've added more to the post, but he knows you're not supposed to talk with your mouth full.

Posted by: Theresa is nucking futz at January 25, 2012 10:45 AM (xmOY4)

70
I prefer sandwiches with personality and swagger as opposed to ones that tasted really well in college and can now spout boring flavor on command.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 25, 2012 10:47 AM (QMtmy)

71 I know right? Why doesn't my preferred chinese place have orange chicken on the lunch specials?

Posted by: joeindc44 - tebow's new lifting coach at January 25, 2012 10:48 AM (QxSug)

72 I HEARD the implied "bitch" in that statement...that's just plain Misogynistic right there.

Posted by: USMC 8541 at January 25, 2012 10:50 AM (v3pYe)

73 This is sneaky, I knew you'd endorse a sandwich in the primaries!

Posted by: ambrosia at January 25, 2012 10:58 AM (oZfic)

74 Which of curious's cats should we stirfry first?

Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at January 25, 2012 11:00 AM (QQAJP)

75 Get the woman to make the sammich. Its their job after all...

Not so! Chris Brown made me a knuckle sandwich.

Posted by: Rihanna at January 25, 2012 11:11 AM (1H47k)

76 Second greatest post ever.

First greatest: I need a nap.

Posted by: Cornfed at January 25, 2012 11:24 AM (Hoy9u)

77 Damn I'm So Hungry
I think I'll make a sandwich.

Can't you pay a woman to do it?Newt says they're cheaper than Chinese labor.

Posted by: befuddled at January 25, 2012 11:33 AM (xJU23)

78 Can I have some hushpuppies daddy?

Posted by: Junior at January 25, 2012 11:39 AM (YcXTT)

79 Ace-Of-Spades....come for the content....stay for the butsecks.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 25, 2012 11:41 AM (61yvg)

We aint got time for that crap!

Posted by: Buford T Justice at January 25, 2012 11:42 AM (YcXTT)

81 Lynn Haven police: Suspect killed, ate homeless man

Posted by: befuddled at January 25, 2012 11:51 AM (xJU23)

So, Liam Neeson is thinking of converting to Islam 'cause he likes the music and the architecture?

Deep.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at January 25, 2012 12:21 PM (bMLFV)

83 Someone typed SUPERBRIEF into Ace's Z-Machine parser.

Posted by: JR at January 25, 2012 01:45 PM (gWOju)

84 What's a sandwich?

Posted by: Charles Gibson at January 25, 2012 02:06 PM (minmk)

85 What!? You casually make a sandwich while people starve around the world? Don't you think they'd like a sandwich? There are hungry people in your own town who would love a sandwich, people manning the barricades for a better world, people who have not showered in a week, people sleeping with rats, people like me. Give me that damned sandwich! All your sandwiches belong to the people!

Posted by: Occupy Wall Street at January 25, 2012 02:21 PM (659DL)

86 A sandwich? What a marvelous idea.

Posted by: Dagwood at January 25, 2012 02:48 PM (CRDXw)

87 Dont forget the Bacon. Oh God, I hope you didnt forget the bacon Ace. Can you imagine a sandwich without bacon? NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Posted by: Rich K at January 25, 2012 04:47 PM (X4l3T)

88 Ace: Was that code for a Kennedy-Dodd sandwich? Because that would be nasty. Let me guess, you and Allah with...Ann Coulter might be up for that!

Posted by: EBL at January 25, 2012 04:55 PM (IgakF)

this is only a test to put a link in comments.

Posted by: link test at January 26, 2012 10:03 AM (ETcED)

90 well fuck

Posted by: link test at January 26, 2012 10:04 AM (ETcED)

91 <a herf=http://ace.mu.nu>back to main page.</a>