September 16, 2012
— Ace

Posted by: Ace at
04:30 PM
| Comments (253)
Post contains 4 words, total size 1 kb.
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 04:33 PM (8tpY4)
Not in a muslim kills it way, but KILLS it...
Posted by: DAve at September 16, 2012 04:33 PM (hXJEu)
Posted by: soothsayer at September 16, 2012 04:33 PM (NLH1M)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 04:33 PM (fxHyG)
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 04:33 PM (8tpY4)
Posted by: Fortune Cookie at September 16, 2012 04:36 PM (bUpT0)
Posted by: targfood at September 16, 2012 04:36 PM (5spDI)
5 Did you make it through the Faith Hill intro without administering the 'Devil's Touch', Ace?
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 08:33 PM (8tpY4)
If you did allow me to solve that problem. www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCmsZUN4r_s
Posted by: buzzion at September 16, 2012 04:36 PM (GULKT)
Posted by: Bruce Dickenson at September 16, 2012 04:37 PM (sZTYJ)
Posted by: soothsayer at September 16, 2012 04:38 PM (BUcLz)
Posted by: Craig Poe at September 16, 2012 04:38 PM (BVkEs)
What's this? Concealed Elbows Day? How are we to properly asses a cheerleader's, um, assets if her most prominent features are hidden from us?
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 16, 2012 04:40 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: Sassy at September 16, 2012 04:40 PM (5akJt)
Posted by: Dave in Fla at September 16, 2012 04:41 PM (dX4hn)
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 04:43 PM (8tpY4)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:43 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:44 PM (+tqYo)
Looks like I got Ace's fortune cookie.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 16, 2012 04:44 PM (CrfL3)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 16, 2012 04:44 PM (JDIKC)
Posted by: dananjcon at September 16, 2012 04:45 PM (rMXsO)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:45 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:46 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: trufff at September 16, 2012 04:46 PM (pRNLV)
Posted by: lesbian seagull at September 16, 2012 04:47 PM (xXhWA)
Posted by: Pug Mahon at September 16, 2012 04:47 PM (cujSl)
Posted by: concrete girl at September 16, 2012 04:47 PM (y2Ojs)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 16, 2012 04:48 PM (jucos)
Hear, hear. If we were closer to the dread chill of winter, I'd give a pass. But for heaven's sake, there's no need for long sleeves at the moment.
Posted by: jakeman at September 16, 2012 04:49 PM (96M6e)
This is completely anecdotal, but the wife, who is a raving leftist, tossed her Obama pledge letter directly into the trash, unopened.
This is cause for a Pudding Slathering, similar to, and not to be confused with, a certain hunting ritual. You could then issue a fitting welcome to the Dark Side, IYKWIMAITTYD.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 16, 2012 04:49 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:50 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at September 16, 2012 04:50 PM (he2LC)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 04:50 PM (fxHyG)
Posted by: dananjcon at September 16, 2012 04:50 PM (rMXsO)
Her gut looks like a half open can of biscuits<<<<<
I know what you mean. I like to run my hand along a chick's stomach and have it feel like those rumble strips that wake you up when you drift off the road, then trail through her hairy belly on down to her dick and ball-
No, I guess that would be a dude's stomach. I think I'll stick with "soft and feminine."
Homo.
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 16, 2012 04:51 PM (JDIKC)
Posted by: Pug Mahon at September 16, 2012 04:52 PM (cujSl)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:52 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: Honey Badger at September 16, 2012 04:52 PM (vzfrq)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 16, 2012 04:52 PM (jucos)
Posted by: jakeman at September 16, 2012 04:52 PM (96M6e)
This is completely anecdotal, but the wife, who is a raving leftist, tossed her Obama pledge letter directly into the trash, unopened.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 08:45 PM (+tqYo) "
You should tea-bag her while sh's sleeping and videotape it and email it to her while she's at work. Thats what I would do anyway.
Posted by: lesbian seagull at September 16, 2012 04:53 PM (xXhWA)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:53 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 16, 2012 04:53 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: DAve at September 16, 2012 04:54 PM (hXJEu)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 04:54 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Pug Mahon at September 16, 2012 04:54 PM (cujSl)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:54 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 04:55 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:55 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 16, 2012 04:56 PM (GZitp)
Posted by: Honey Badger at September 16, 2012 04:56 PM (vzfrq)
Posted by: concrete girl at September 16, 2012 04:56 PM (y2Ojs)
Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at September 16, 2012 04:56 PM (he2LC)
Seriously, I think she knows TFG and company are going down hard. And when I say she's a leftist, I mean university professor in sociology/education.
Boom.
That's even better. When TFG's lost the university professors...
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 16, 2012 04:57 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: rickl at September 16, 2012 04:58 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 04:58 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: jakeman at September 16, 2012 04:59 PM (96M6e)
Posted by: dananjcon at September 16, 2012 05:00 PM (rMXsO)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 05:00 PM (+tqYo)
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at September 16, 2012 05:00 PM (NzBQO)
Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at September 16, 2012 05:01 PM (he2LC)
Posted by: Billy Bob, psuedo intellectual at September 16, 2012 05:01 PM (wR+pz)
80That stadium is only hot when you're hung down like a mash-cat during a baseball game.<<<<<
That *sounds* like a sexual reference, and yet I've never heard it. Please explain the provenance of this delightful phrase so that we may welcome it to the Moron lexicon.
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 16, 2012 05:01 PM (JDIKC)
Posted by: Eli the NFC East Comic at September 16, 2012 05:01 PM (wwsoB)
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at September 16, 2012 09:00 PM (NzBQO)
The Kungfu Panda in Warcraft actually predates the Kung Fu Panda movie. The Pandarin Brewmaster was a playable character in Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne expansion pack.
Posted by: buzzion at September 16, 2012 05:02 PM (GULKT)
Posted by: Fritz at September 16, 2012 05:02 PM (uRFJj)
Posted by: Tortillapete at September 16, 2012 05:03 PM (OcgY4)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:03 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: NC Ref at September 16, 2012 05:04 PM (/izg2)
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 08:55 PM (0aV2C) "
They already are, bro. If you're serious just check the internets.
Posted by: lesbian seagull at September 16, 2012 05:05 PM (xXhWA)
That stadium is only hot when you're hung down like a mash-cat during a baseball game.
BRB, gettin' the AoSHQ Sooper Seekrit Decoder Ring...
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 16, 2012 05:05 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 16, 2012 08:53 PM (+tqYo)
Well, Thursday your Giants will come down South. We'll be REAL nice.
Posted by: Billy Bob, psuedo intellectual at September 16, 2012 05:05 PM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Billy Quizboy at September 16, 2012 09:03 PM (xXI4q)
Quoting it just ensures that the statement that should be troll-busted stays around longer.
Posted by: NC Ref at September 16, 2012 05:05 PM (/izg2)
Posted by: Muhammad at September 16, 2012 05:05 PM (/YJYi)
Posted by: H Badger at September 16, 2012 05:06 PM (IMuzr)
Posted by: Margaret Cho at September 16, 2012 05:06 PM (wUFaM)
Your goat dies and you have no one to sleep with?
Posted by: Billy Bob, psuedo intellectual at September 16, 2012 05:07 PM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Trevor (@TJexcite) at September 16, 2012 05:10 PM (3qeX5)
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at September 16, 2012 05:13 PM (NzBQO)
>>I had no idea that Michelle Malkin was a 49ers cheerleader! I approve!
Fap-fap-fappity-fap-fap-fap
http://tinyurl.com/9xfat42
Posted by: Albie Damned at September 16, 2012 05:13 PM (Yhu4q)
Posted by: lesbian seagull at September 16, 2012 05:15 PM (xXhWA)
Posted by: Honey Badger at September 16, 2012 05:17 PM (Xfofp)
I must save this guy from her shit. Now, if only I can convince my wife that a menage a troi is a good idea ...
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:17 PM (0aV2C)
Did you pay your TB3K monthly dues? If not, then our resident troll buster isn't on call to do what you demand.
Posted by: NC Ref at September 16, 2012 05:17 PM (/izg2)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:18 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:19 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at September 16, 2012 05:19 PM (he2LC)
Just looked in the dictionary and found your picture next to 'humanitarian'
Posted by: fluffy at September 16, 2012 05:19 PM (z9HTb)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:20 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Bart
Understandable. The Chinese attitude towards Japan usually involves asking Americans why they stopped dropping nukes on them. They would have been willing to wait for Hanford to make some more.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:21 PM (0aV2C)
she likes the idea... but with a 2nd dude
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:22 PM (8sCoq)
Posted by: Sam at September 16, 2012 05:22 PM (O/6Tv)
All this suspense is killing me.
WTF is a mash-cat? The only mental picture I keep getting is roadkill.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 16, 2012 05:22 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:22 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: The Robot Devil at September 16, 2012 05:25 PM (GkwjL)
Posted by: jakeman at September 16, 2012 05:25 PM (96M6e)
Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at September 16, 2012 05:25 PM (he2LC)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:26 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:26 PM (8sCoq)
Posted by: steevy at September 16, 2012 05:26 PM (6o4Fb)
Posted by: The Robot Devil at September 16, 2012 05:26 PM (GkwjL)
Posted by: Waterhouse at September 16, 2012 09:22 PM (p9Pmk)
They are real and spectacular!
Posted by: Beto at September 16, 2012 05:27 PM (BAnPT)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:27 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Kwame at September 16, 2012 05:28 PM (EuW9O)
Posted by: The Robot Devil at September 16, 2012 05:28 PM (GkwjL)
This shit is not going to end well. http://tinyurl.com/8bd649z
I don't see anything but a return of the Muslim crusades. They know nothing but force. Remember, 9/11 was the day they almost took Vienna.
http://tinyurl.com/6xes7w
Posted by: Billy Bob, psuedo intellectual at September 16, 2012 05:28 PM (wR+pz)
Someone once said you illustrate absurdity by being absurd.
Posted by: Craig Poe at September 16, 2012 05:29 PM (BVkEs)
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 09:26 PM (8sCoq)
Thanks that explains a lot...
Posted by: The Robot Devil at September 16, 2012 09:26 PM (GkwjL)
this ain't exactly Sports Illustrated
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:29 PM (8sCoq)
Posted by: The littl shyning man at September 16, 2012 05:29 PM (HIidb)
Posted by: Mr Pink at September 16, 2012 05:29 PM (8CjuC)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:29 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: The Robot Devil at September 16, 2012 09:25 PM (GkwjL)
Short analysis, Seattle scored more points.
Longer analysis, Dallas special teams made a ton of screw ups, and Russell Wilson appears to be a NFL caliber QB.
Posted by: MrCaniac at September 16, 2012 05:30 PM (1grxW)
It all comes down to offense. Seattle put more points on the board than Dallas.
Posted by: John Madden at September 16, 2012 05:30 PM (z9HTb)
Posted by: Jones in CO
That is probably what would happen. Open marriage is always a bad idea, for guys. Women can easily find a third, whether you want them to or not.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:31 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: John Madden at September 16, 2012 09:30 PM (z9HTb)
now this is some fine post-game analysis
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:31 PM (8sCoq)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 05:31 PM (fxHyG)
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:32 PM (8sCoq)
Posted by: Mr Pink at September 16, 2012 05:32 PM (8CjuC)
>>I dunno, "honkie" sounds so dumb that it just isn't offensive.
Similarly, I don't find 'Yank' or 'Yankee' particularly offensive.
So I expect that 'Hayseed' and 'Sister Humper' are equally non-offensive terms and I employ them, as such.
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 05:33 PM (iJYnE)
Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at September 16, 2012 05:33 PM (6WVi+)
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:34 PM (8sCoq)
Mmmm! Pretzels...
Posted by: Homer Simpson, crusader at September 16, 2012 05:34 PM (z9HTb)
Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 16, 2012 05:34 PM (a4CUi)
Posted by: Injuin Blackfoot Barry, The One Who Eats Dogs at September 16, 2012 05:34 PM (wR+pz)
Posted by: buzzion at September 16, 2012 05:35 PM (cXtfk)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 16, 2012 05:35 PM (CrfL3)
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 16, 2012 05:35 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:35 PM (8sCoq)
BLASPHAMY!!!
In Chicago we can not spell honkie, so we call them Crackers. Like saltine Crackers, white.
Posted by: Injuin Blackfoot Barry, The One Who Eats Dogs at September 16, 2012 05:36 PM (wR+pz)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:36 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Waterhouse at September 16, 2012 05:36 PM (p9Pmk)
Posted by: Mr Pink at September 16, 2012 05:37 PM (8CjuC)
he says no, Aussies refer to Americans as 'seppies', because supposedly we don't have regular sewer service, only septic tanks
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:37 PM (8sCoq)
Billy Quizboy has ridden the race rodeo a few times here in the past.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:38 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: jakeman at September 16, 2012 05:38 PM (96M6e)
If even the wookie thing was banworthy why does "slants" get a pass?
Posted by: typo dynamofo at September 16, 2012 05:38 PM (pjT+p)
Posted by: Injuin Blackfoot Barry, The One Who Eats Dogs at September 16, 2012 05:40 PM (wR+pz)
183: "In Chicago we can not spell honkie, so we call them Crackers. Like saltine Crackers, white."
Saltine crackers? Cruchy like crickets or chewy like dogs?
Posted by: Lil BO at September 16, 2012 05:41 PM (cq3QL)
insult to white people. same as whitey and cracker, but no white person is offended by these words no matter who is saying them. unless you call a wigger a honkey, then they get pissed.
Posted by: Adam at September 16, 2012 05:41 PM (/YJYi)
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:41 PM (0aV2C)
I think he was yarning ya there.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 09:40 PM (0aV2C)
no- I've seen some of his Aussie pals use the term on his facebook page
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:42 PM (8sCoq)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:42 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:42 PM (0aV2C)
Not a good idea to argue with the guy who owns the server logs.
Posted by: fluffy at September 16, 2012 05:42 PM (z9HTb)
Has anyone used 'celestial' yet? Is that even recognizable enough to be considered offensive?
Never understood that one's origins, but I've always enjoyed hearing it.
also, where is Yoshi. There seems to be ample aggrievement potential, here.
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 05:43 PM (Hk/Us)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 05:43 PM (fxHyG)
Posted by: concrete girl at September 16, 2012 09:41 PM (y2Ojs)
yeah- I wish the other guys would keep it down, or at least go outside and yammer
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:44 PM (8sCoq)
I did notice the lack of sewer vents in the rural areas ... just a drain on the bathroom floor, and a cracked open bathroom window to vent the fumes outside. Very strange.
Houses in built up areas had proper vent stacks.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:44 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 05:45 PM (Hk/Us)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:45 PM (GEICT)
As used in Deadwood? I think they were called such because they were from the Celestial Kingdom.
Posted by: fluffy at September 16, 2012 05:46 PM (z9HTb)
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:46 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: Weego the Budweiser Rescue Dog with your beer at September 16, 2012 05:47 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 05:47 PM (fxHyG)
Months of stupid ass trolls, and billy manages to set off the bomb.
I am amazed.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:48 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 16, 2012 05:48 PM (CrfL3)
Good thing I've learned how to drink urine.
Posted by: Bear Grylls at September 16, 2012 05:48 PM (p9Pmk)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 09:47 PM (fxHyG)
ahh... the plot thickens...
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:48 PM (8sCoq)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:48 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Billy Quizboy at September 16, 2012 09:46 PM (xXI4q)
You're the one throwing them around. It was ONE SATIRICAL POST and you overreacted. Admit it.
Posted by: Craig Poe at September 16, 2012 05:49 PM (BVkEs)
It's my birthday and I want to have FUN!
Is the light meter on your webcam calibrated?
Birthdays are a good time to schedule annual maitenance steos like that.
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 05:49 PM (Hk/Us)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 16, 2012 05:49 PM (jucos)
Posted by: iamahaiangttiam at September 16, 2012 05:50 PM (nw0Vt)
Fuck no! This is great. He's going full Hulk on this bedwetter.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:50 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: nikkolai at September 16, 2012 05:50 PM (pSsN0)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 16, 2012 05:52 PM (GEICT)
Posted by: Cricket at September 16, 2012 05:52 PM (2ArJQ)
Posted by: Jean at September 16, 2012 05:52 PM (hrAg/)
I am amazed.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 09:48 PM (0aV2C)
I try super hard to ungrateful bastard!
Posted by: Average Joe, Gerg, Greg, Toldyaso, Jimi Ray, Catpiss, OZfic at September 16, 2012 05:52 PM (/YJYi)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 16, 2012 05:53 PM (jucos)
He tweeted Mrs. CAC's pic.....http://tinyurl.com/8fjn4p7
Congratulations CAC.....a long, happy, healthy life together. Oh and maps....lots and lots of big, colorful, plaid maps!
Posted by: Tami at September 16, 2012 05:53 PM (X6akg)
Posted by: typo dynamofo at September 16, 2012 05:53 PM (pjT+p)
>>I'm going to make myself a delicious drink.
That's the first step. Make a drink.
Then you'll need to run a hot bath.
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 05:53 PM (Hk/Us)
Posted by: Kristophr at September 16, 2012 05:53 PM (0aV2C)
Posted by: Jones in CO at September 16, 2012 05:54 PM (8sCoq)
http://www.kittyhell.com/2010/07/31/hello-kitty-biker-girl/
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 16, 2012 05:55 PM (CrfL3)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 16, 2012 05:56 PM (jucos)
If you're wearing pants, then you clearly don't fit in here. Just sayin'....
Happy Birthday concretegirl!!! Cheers!
Posted by: NC Ref at September 16, 2012 05:56 PM (/izg2)
Sometimes a nip is just a nip.
Posted by: GnuBreed at September 16, 2012 05:56 PM (ccXZP)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 16, 2012 05:57 PM (CrfL3)
Posted by: Adam at September 16, 2012 05:57 PM (/YJYi)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 05:58 PM (fxHyG)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 16, 2012 05:58 PM (jucos)
I propose that we morph into a full blown no holds barred flame thread
Well, it is halftime. We got 15 minutes or so.
Posted by: Weego the Budweiser Rescue Dog with your beer at September 16, 2012 05:58 PM (d0Tfm)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 05:59 PM (fxHyG)
Posted by: Jean at September 16, 2012 05:59 PM (hrAg/)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 05:59 PM (fxHyG)
Posted by: ace at September 16, 2012 06:01 PM (fxHyG)
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Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2012 04:31 PM (VsyLa)