Ace of Spades HQ

March 10, 2012

Don't ruin your weekend. [krakatoa]
— Open Blogger

I'm warning you now not to read the link. It's going to make that vein in your forehead start to throb, which you would find morbidly ironic were you to click the link to see what I was talking about.

It's almost Spring. In a lot of places, the weather is turning for the better. Turn off the computer and go enjoy the real world for a day or two.

I read this before flying out of Sacramento, and while everyone before me got to go through the old-school metal detector, when it was my turn they closed that line and shuffled me through the cancer machine.

They then promptly closed the death-box, and everyone behind me got to go through the metal detector.

I blame the bad luck and the promise of an early and painful death on having read this article.

Save yourselves, and don't read this article. You read it, didn't you?

I tried to warn you.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 07:37 AM | Comments (97)
Post contains 168 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Well, mind control drugs were only a matter of time . . .

/are they at least grape-flavored?

Posted by: kev at March 10, 2012 07:39 AM (u522y)

2 Thank you, sir. May I have another?

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at March 10, 2012 07:39 AM (SojOA)

3 Why does this upset you? This is the drug that liberals have needed for years!

Posted by: Scruffy McGee at March 10, 2012 07:40 AM (AeLow)

/are they at least grape-flavored?

I'd prefer Menthol.

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 10, 2012 07:40 AM (blhVv)

5 Though the Critical Race Theorists might insist they prescribed for all People Without Color.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at March 10, 2012 07:41 AM (SojOA)

6 It was good for a laugh. Now if they could just get a drug that will convince SCOAMF to resign...

Posted by: packsoldier at March 10, 2012 07:42 AM (JPCmk)

7 This the same "Oxford" that thinks it is OK to kill new born babies and calls it post birth abortion?

Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2012 07:43 AM (YdQQY)

8 Oh effing great.
Now we'll all have to take Propranolol through the Obamacare mandate.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 10, 2012 07:43 AM (Qxdfp)

9 I say we sneak them in the diets of all Ds. Just imagine how different they would legislate!

Posted by: momma at March 10, 2012 07:43 AM (oKsWl)

10 i feel only slightly stupider but i only read a couple of paragraphs.

Posted by: real joe at March 10, 2012 07:43 AM (w7Lv+)

yeah, and i really appreciate the test group /

Posted by: pitchforksandpowder at March 10, 2012 07:44 AM (6M2rK)

12 I took a few of those pills just to see and then watched Al sharpy Sharpton on MSNBC. Didn't seem to work for me

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 10, 2012 07:44 AM (i6RpT)

13 9 good thought

Posted by: pitchforksandpowder at March 10, 2012 07:45 AM (6M2rK)

14 So your saying there is a chance Obama could like white people again

Posted by: momma at March 10, 2012 07:45 AM (oKsWl)

15 Welcome to my son's America!

Posted by: Barry's Drunk Dad at March 10, 2012 07:46 AM (DATOZ)

16 are you white, are you conservative? we have just the pill for you!

are you black ,are you conservative?- Uncle Tom!

are you a liberal? pass the bong.

Posted by: willow at March 10, 2012 07:46 AM (TomZ9)

17 I don't need that pill. But one of Professor Bell's prize students does. Along with his lovely racist wife.

Posted by: mama winger at March 10, 2012 07:47 AM (P6QsQ)

18 I think this is great news. If "racism" can be medically induced, then it must exist naturally in some people. Since it may exist naturally in some people, when liberals try to call someone "racist" just to shut them up, we have a natural response, "why do you hate people who are genetically different from you. They didn't choose to be this way, any more than you chose to be ________. Why must you hate people who are different."

Posted by: Tucker Steele at March 10, 2012 07:48 AM (yjXvl)

19 How soon before the FDA approves it for children under 12, and NCLB adds it to its mandates?

Posted by: mama winger at March 10, 2012 07:48 AM (P6QsQ)

20 Yahoo: Pointing at Republicans, Obama said: "They think you have amnesia. They think you've forgotten how we got into this mess."

Dude. You've been Hatin' in the White House for four years. STHU!

Posted by: momma at March 10, 2012 07:49 AM (oKsWl)

21 @18,

Further, that genetic trait must have been selected for a reason!

Why you hate Darwin?! What you got against evolution?

CREATIONIST!!!!

Posted by: xbradtc at March 10, 2012 07:51 AM (tG1oD)

22 They don't come much stupider:

Republican presidential win would lose US ground to China Â– UN climate chief

Christiana Figueres says voting in climate-sceptic Republican would hand competitive technological edge to China and Europe

Posted by: momma at March 10, 2012 07:51 AM (oKsWl)

23 Hey, how come all these maggots are white?

Posted by: Zombie Derrick Bell at March 10, 2012 07:52 AM (6TB1Z)

24 Obama said: "They think you have amnesia. They think you've forgotten how we got into this mess."

Obama: Blaming every President in American History for the past 3 years, except for the President who's been in charge for the last 3 years.

Posted by: mama winger at March 10, 2012 07:52 AM (P6QsQ)

25 Well, I take it daily, and I still hate the President. Is this proof enough that I really do hate his policies and not his skin color?

Posted by: no good deed at March 10, 2012 07:54 AM (mjR67)

26 Where's the movie with the flaming Bill Clinton penis head? And the jazz saxophone mood music?

Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2012 07:54 AM (FDEjy)

27 From the article:
Of course, the study is sure to raise concerns both over its validity and whether we should rely on prescription medication to regulate behavior, even for positive outcomes.....Another point of concern is the very limited range of subjects used in the test: All 36 participants were white males.[i/]

Coincidence? I think not.

Posted by: Paranoid pep at March 10, 2012 07:56 AM (6TB1Z)

Will propanolol change my skepticism about HIGH. SPEED. RAIL?

No? Not even if I take a handful of 'em?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 10, 2012 07:56 AM (wrM3e)

29 My soothsayer senses tell me there's a new meme developing. The White House is attempting to shift blame for the high gas prices. The new spin: Gas prices are high because GOP presidential candidates are "beating the drums of war against Iran" on the campaign trail. Will this new meme have legs? I dunno, but I heard one fool from yahoo news mention it yesterday on the radio.

Posted by: Soothsayer at March 10, 2012 07:56 AM (jUytm)

30 This reminds me that I need to re-fill my prescription for Fukitall.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 10, 2012 07:56 AM (jucos)

31 So have we figured out the logistics for the live-blogging of Space Traders? Is it as simple as synchronizing our watches and pressing "play" at the same time?

Posted by: Soothsayer at March 10, 2012 07:57 AM (jUytm)

32 I don't trust whitey.

Posted by: Navin R. Johnson at March 10, 2012 07:57 AM (2dU/2)

33 mama winger at March 10, 2012 11:47 AM

I think this pill should be taken by all of Harvard Prof. Derrick Bells past students.

Posted by: ABouts at March 10, 2012 07:58 AM (BQvS5)

34 Lords of light! I watched an episode of Thundarr the Barbarian this morning. That cartoon is a hoot. It'd be fun to practice live-blogging with an episode of Thundarr. Every line is funny in some way.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Barbarian at March 10, 2012 08:00 AM (jUytm)

35 I take a form of this medicine, and it just gives me terribly vivid dreams, like Mefliquin (anti-malarial.) But it does lower my blood pressure, which has grown steadily higher in the past three years. Could it be that they are making incorrect assumptions about racism, which could better be applied to a terrible administration? A better question to ask is how many MORE people are taking this drug now, compared to other administrations. That might be an eye opening study. Or would they still spin it to be racism?

Posted by: moki at March 10, 2012 08:00 AM (dZmFh)

36 Last sentence in the article,
Have they not heard of "Planned Parenthood"?

Posted by: Dastardly Dan at March 10, 2012 08:00 AM (rvLeh)

37 If you have a boner or a racist thought that lasts more than four hours, tell your doctor.

Posted by: Cicero at March 10, 2012 08:02 AM (yQwq5)

38
"I'm warning you now not to read the link. It's going to make that vein in your forehead start to throb"

"You do look glum! What you need is a gramme of Soma."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 10, 2012 08:04 AM (kdS6q)

39 Mitt Romney is a bullshitter. I've been to the south and didn't feel the need to start speaking with a twang and /or eat cheesie grits.

Posted by: Jimma at March 10, 2012 08:04 AM (sv7B2)

40 Cold chill inducing ad:

Fight for Freedom!
http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/211450.php

Posted by: momma at March 10, 2012 08:05 AM (oKsWl)

41 Another point of concern is the very limited range of subjects used in the test: All 36 participants were white males.

You'd think that after 50 years of systematic discrimination against white people not only by the government but by the culture at large one of these fancy scientists might think that maybe, just maybe, there's a problem with racism towards whites, but nope, they only see racism from whites as a problem, funny how that works.

Posted by: booger at March 10, 2012 08:06 AM (HI6wa)

42 You'd think that after 50 years of systematic discrimination against white people not only by the government but by the culture at large one of these fancy scientists might think that maybe, just maybe, there's a problem with racism towards whites, but nope, they only see racism from whites as a problem, funny how that works. Posted by: booger at March 10, 2012 12:06 PM (HI6wa) ------------------------------------------------- Black racism? Unpossible.

Posted by: Some Colored Guy at March 10, 2012 08:08 AM (jucos)

43 now what is needed is a pill to help the left get over themselves. It ain't you dear , it's conservatives. no really , we want to make you have babies and make the sammiches all the day long.

Do you have issues with the shoving down your throat of new invasive laws? you must be racist.

Do you have issues with the gvt stealing from others to give to a prefferred group of union folks? you must be racist.

Do you have issues with a plan thought up by a follower of eugenics , class warfare philosophy , and the result of killing millions of babies ?

Do you have issues with a philosophy of dividing a country into class warfare ,racial division, sexual division- So that a certain poltical group can build power from the angst and suffering it causes?

take the pill- you must be racist!

Posted by: willow at March 10, 2012 08:08 AM (TomZ9)

This is true. Before I took Propranolol, I was a member of the Nazi Party, the KKK and 4 other skinhead groups. After Propranolol, I joined ACLU and am an honorary member of the NAACP. It is truly a miracle drug.

Posted by: Truman North at March 10, 2012 08:09 AM (I2LwF)

45 Another Chevy Volt in Gaza? http://tinyurl.com/8yncu8w

Posted by: USA at March 10, 2012 08:09 AM (6Cjut)

46 Propranolol? More like Proprano-LOL!

Posted by: tomg at March 10, 2012 08:10 AM (Qvy60)

47 Is there an AOS Moron Implicit Association Test available?

Because you're all racists!

Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2012 08:11 AM (FDEjy)

48 Read the first couple of paragraphs and had to laugh. Specifically at the bit about the "part of the central nervous system that regulates thoughts about race" or however they phrased it.

I think the Media is really getting pretty terrified. They're going to pull out all the stops to help Obama. No 2010 this time around.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at March 10, 2012 08:11 AM (i0App)

Why do Nazi Skinheads wear Red Suspenders, anyway?

They don't take Propranolol.

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2012 08:12 AM (blhVv)

50 do you suspect you child might grow up to have un pc thoughts (like wanting to grow up and build a business) ?

oxford agrees it might be best to off them while they are in the crib for the better future of mankind.

Posted by: willow at March 10, 2012 08:12 AM (TomZ9)

51 Is there an AOS Moron Implicit Association Test available? Because you're all racists! Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2012 12:11 PM (FDEjy) Thank You

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 10, 2012 08:13 AM (i6RpT)

52 But its not his skin-coloredness its his miserable failurness. Which pill do I take for that? Srewitol?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 10, 2012 08:13 AM (yqRWu)

53 Geez, a link from Yahoo. Those guys are dumber than Kos.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at March 10, 2012 08:14 AM (BvdQo)

Propranolol Supositories cure racism. Straight Up!

Posted by: Jeanine Garofolo at March 10, 2012 08:15 AM (blhVv)

55 Samuel, well Yahoo's is really an appropriate name for them.

Posted by: willow at March 10, 2012 08:15 AM (TomZ9)

56 Screwitol. If I could spell better I might be funny someday.

ps - I swear this place not only steals spaces but steals letters too.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 10, 2012 08:16 AM (yqRWu)

57 Yeah.... I'm really curious how they define "implicit" racism.

I mean, if you choose 36 white males that live in an area with high crime rates committed by minorities, is any bad thinking about minorities racism, or an acknowledgement that minorities equal higher risk to personal safety?

The base assumptions of a test determine the outcome.

Posted by: xbradtc at March 10, 2012 08:16 AM (tG1oD)

58 Guy, it was funny. i only had fokitall before now i have a choice.

Posted by: willow at March 10, 2012 08:17 AM (TomZ9)

59 I've got AT&T as my provider and unfortunately when I go to my mail page, I get inundated with Yahoo since they have partnered up with At&t. The staff writers they have are obviously Columbia J-school grads after they washed out of Women and Gender studies or AA studies.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at March 10, 2012 08:19 AM (BvdQo)

60 what is actually weirdly scary or hilarious depending on mood, is they are all coming out of the woodwork.

ousting themselves it's rather re-freshing .

Posted by: willow at March 10, 2012 08:19 AM (TomZ9)

The entire article relies on the reliability of the advanced bigotry-testing technology. That's what makes or breaks it. The written test is from Harvard, like Obama, like Ted Kaczynski - so you just know its good.

Sample:

/[F]

11. A national government can borrow 40% of what it spends, forever.

...

28. Seeing a crowd of 'youths' running through a streetside cafe clubbing the patrons makes me uneasy.

...

35. The Western world grew wealthy by stealing what other people had.

There's more -- They have a case full of plastic facial profile templates, an electronic Munson color meter that is applied to the facial skin, diction analysis software, and a form for recording the subjective reaction of the researcher to each disgusting pale po white trash white motherfucker in the study.

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at March 10, 2012 08:20 AM (8hBZi)

62 Posted by: Wm T Sherman at March 10, 2012 12:20 PM (8hBZi)

Cambridge...Berkeley...is there anything those dumbasses can't think up. Maybe I'm a little late to the party, but I'm of the opinion that an Ivy League education nowadays is no better than an Associates degree from a Community college.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at March 10, 2012 08:24 AM (BvdQo)

35. The Western world grew wealthy by stealing what other people had.

Hey, that's my schtick!

Posted by: Vladimir Ulyanov at March 10, 2012 08:24 AM (wrM3e)

35. The Western world grew wealthy by stealing what other people had.

We got rich by stealing dysentery??

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 10, 2012 08:26 AM (wrM3e)

65 35. The Western world grew wealthy by stealing what other people had.

But we made up for it by giving the brown people smallpox. You're welcome.

Posted by: Cicero at March 10, 2012 08:33 AM (yQwq5)

66 I never realized that there was this much racial animus in America until a black man was elected to the presidency by a majority of white people.

Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2012 08:35 AM (FDEjy)

67 47 Another Chevy Volt in Gaza?
http://tinyurl.com/8yncu8w

Posted by: USA at March 10, 2012 12:09 PM (6Cjut)

To show their good intentions , mossad gave hamas leadership free chevy volts.

Posted by: Temper Tantrum at March 10, 2012 08:38 AM (AWmfW)

68 So when are they going to start slipping it into our water?

Posted by: creeper at March 10, 2012 08:38 AM (gre5a)

69 Only thing ruining my weekend was that fucking annoying bar ad at the bottom of that page. Yahoo assholes.

Posted by: mojo at March 10, 2012 08:39 AM (xgirU)

70 So when are they going to start slipping it into our water?

Start? Yeah, let's say that.

Posted by: The Obama administration at March 10, 2012 08:39 AM (6TB1Z)

71 The media and the pc police have now officially lost their minds.

Posted by: Lee at March 10, 2012 08:40 AM (RtwOA)

72 "when it was my turn they closed that line and shuffled me through the cancer machine.

"They then promptly closed the death-box, and everyone behind me got to go through the metal detector."

OB, you are either on their enemies list or the best-looking woman who went through security that day. Either way, this stinks.

Posted by: creeper at March 10, 2012 08:40 AM (gre5a)

73 >>35. The Western world grew wealthy by stealing what other people had.

But we made up for it by giving the brown people smallpox. You're welcome.

I thought we gave that to the red people. Please, sir, I need a new scorecard.

Posted by: Retread at March 10, 2012 08:41 AM (joSBv)

74 Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2012 12:35 PM (FDEjy)

That is an extremely profound statement. Who would have thought that a half-black man elected President would have us wondering if we are becoming another Yugoslavia. And it's just about all coming from the left. Unbelievable.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at March 10, 2012 08:41 AM (BvdQo)

75 Posted by: Soothsayer the Barbarian at March 10, 2012 12:00 PM (jUytm)
AWESOME, that was one I didnt miss on saturday mornings so long ago. Where did you see it?

Posted by: Red Shirt at March 10, 2012 08:43 AM (FIDMq)

76 78 It airs on Boomerang Cartoon Network.

Posted by: no good deed at March 10, 2012 08:48 AM (mjR67)

77 "After gaining popularity with the Nazis during World War II, the term [Eugenics] has been relegated to more of a political insult than a serious theoretical practice these days."

Yeah. Also a political insult? An experiment wherein it's suggested that a drug for white guys might make them less racist and hatey.

I can assure you I'll be equally racist with or without your heart altering drugs, so FYNQ.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 10, 2012 08:49 AM (eHIJJ)

78 White, Black, Brown, Red, Yellow People don't like us because we're different.

Posted by: One of Those Blue Skin West Virginia Folks at March 10, 2012 08:55 AM (N/eLP)

79 Next item on the agenda: Research Grants to be Terminated

Posted by: Eggshell-Colored Half of the FDA at March 10, 2012 08:58 AM (eHIJJ)

80 With an n=36 and a limited sampling of subject backgrounds, this research should never have been published or otherwise seen the light of day.

Posted by: NIH grant reviewer/scientist at March 10, 2012 09:00 AM (vGlQg)

81 #7

yes. The same Oxford.

They have gone off the rails there -

But like any organization, universities are not sancrosanct nor immune from deviation from their mission, ossification, and radicalization.

For instance (and am not making a reductio ad hiterum here), the universities in Nazi Germany were not exactly bastions and truth, justice and academic impartiality.

Posted by: NIH grant reviewer/scientist at March 10, 2012 09:02 AM (vGlQg)

82 I was more disturbed by the article at the bottom of the link about thousands of wolf spiders blanketing Australia. Sweet jeebus.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 10, 2012 09:07 AM (UOM48)

83 No doubt the 36 were Christians as well. I think we should keep track of those guys--every perp on the cop shows these days is a White Christian male.

Posted by: PJ at March 10, 2012 09:17 AM (DQHjw)

But....isn't this an admission that this drug, Propanolol, has a psycotropic (mind altering) side effect, that the drug was never intended for?

So instead of keeping quiet about this adverse side effect.....they have decided to declare it a 'good thing', perhaps to increase its market value? .....Pluh. I hope it all backfires on them.

Posted by: wheatie at March 10, 2012 09:40 AM (dauG/)

85 Is this what Michael Jackson overdosed on?

Posted by: Dang at March 10, 2012 10:13 AM (BbX1b)

86 It didn't ruin my weekend. Just more stupidity from the left. Judging from the comments, most people feel the same.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at March 10, 2012 10:50 AM (bMLFV)

87 It was the test group that really sealed the deal.

HOORAY! Now there's a cure!

Posted by: Sgt. York at March 10, 2012 10:56 AM (B4VH/)

88 Ha! I've been taking it for the last 5 years and I still think Obama's a bad president.

Posted by: Marsh-Mellow at March 10, 2012 11:26 AM (mfQqm)

89 This article explains why my musician friends are so much less racist now.

Posted by: Cricket at March 10, 2012 11:55 AM (ktqBU)

90 Propranolol's side effects include low blood pressure (actually an intended effect), slow heartbeat, and depression of nerological function. Oh, and hallucinations. All of these secondarily cause reduced reaction time problems. So they invent a racism test that depends of reaction time. You know, I am hereby demanding ALL of these so-called researchers' salaries for this year. And the so-called reporters. I shouldn't be quite so harsh, the researchers actually admitted the study may say *NOTHING* about the topic and only be about physiological effects of a drug that effects physiology, but I still want the reporters in a gutter clutching a wine bottle in a paper bag. Fucking drooling idiots.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 10, 2012 12:06 PM (bxiXv)

91 On the brink of Recovery Summer v3.0, and a pending election in which we lose no matter who wins, my drug of choice will be Thorazine.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 10, 2012 02:09 PM (9wThW)

92 It's the Pax*

I'm looking forward to turning into a reaver. Better than the alternative.

*from the movie "Serenity," and if you didn't immediately know that, then stop everything and go watch it.

Posted by: Feynmangroupie at March 10, 2012 02:12 PM (oI744)

93 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at March 10, 2012 02:36 PM (7W3wI)

94 Does it come in different Kool Aid flavors? As a white male will it make me a better dancer? Will it increase my skill at picking tomatoes and mowing lawns? Will it make me a Kung Fu Master in just one dose?

Posted by: All those racial stereotypes we hate at March 10, 2012 03:33 PM (zgCtf)

95 Why didn't you warn me, Krakatoa? WHY?

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at March 10, 2012 03:49 PM (vQfJ3)

96 Yep, G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate is the bomb.

Posted by: toby928© at March 10, 2012 04:45 PM (GTbGH)

97 26Well, I take it daily, and I still hate the President. Is this proof enough that I really do hate his policies and not his skin color?
Posted by: no good deed at March 10, 2012 11:54 AM (mjR67)

- - -

No. You've taken too much, and now you hate his white half. Hater.

Posted by: it's just sense at March 10, 2012 05:33 PM (tSxym)

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