Ace of Spades HQ

December 10, 2012

Dumb Things Being Said on the Left Side of the Internet
— Ace

I don't mean the political beliefs -- I mean the endlessly-repeated catchphrases.

There's a whole alternate slanguage among People of Stupid.

Pearl clutching. Fainting couch. Smelling salts. Oh noes! Luke Russert. Snarky. My head's exploding. Snarky again. Wow, couch an accusation as a question with Â“muchÂ” at the end much? IÂ’m curious. Buehler? Buehler? Really? Seriously? Because, Muslims.
Confidence Fairy. Talking point. Jeebus! Luke Russert is very annoying. Also too, eh. This is very concerning. Â“Align yourself with a feminist identity.Â” Abstract noun trumps other abstract noun. Â“What is our real investment in celebrity fertility?Â” Â“Lending pedigreed intellectual credence.Â” A whole lot of fail. A whole lot of verb used as noun.
Relish. Glee. Bliss. Elixir. We relish the prospect of Rethuglican fail on this issue. The prospect of Rethuglican fail on this issue uncorks in us a blissful elixir of unbridled glee. Really? Seriously? Cringe. Facepalm.

Posted by: Ace at 04:05 PM | Comments (218)
Post contains 169 words, total size 1 kb.

1 It's like LGF is in my head.

Posted by: wooga at December 10, 2012 04:08 PM (cOzk0)

2 That is like so totally gagarific...

But I have seen it. Try to discuss something and rebut one of their catch phrases, they trot out another one; usually wrapped up like day old fish in their emotions.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:09 PM (Fhaif)

3 In short, the left is incoherent.

Posted by: MrCaniac at December 10, 2012 04:09 PM (Zd/NW)

4 I couldn't figure out what "pearl clutching" meant when I had read it on one of those tardy sites. It is some relief to know that it is part of their "meme" bullshit. Now pass the Val-U-Rite.

Posted by: wooga at December 10, 2012 04:09 PM (cOzk0)

5 Laugh all you want. These mind-numbed, shit-stained, Cheeto-scarfing maggots are running the show. A nation of Jeff Spicoli's and Snoop Dogg's. Oh, happy day...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 10, 2012 04:10 PM (XkWWK)

6 I have no idea what this is about. Damn. I want so badly to be one of the smart people.

Posted by: pep at December 10, 2012 04:11 PM (6TB1Z)

7 Uh, I've read some of those phrases here. I fess up to using "whole lot of verb used as a noun"

Posted by: L, elle at December 10, 2012 04:11 PM (0PiQ4)

8 Pearl clutching, in proper useage, try Victorian times. A lady in distress will clutch at the pearl strings about her neck. Usually followed by her swain trying to hurry her over to where the fainting couch is, so she can swoon properly.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:11 PM (Fhaif)

9 But I have seen it. Try to discuss something and rebut one of their catch phrases, they trot out another one; usually wrapped up like day old fish in their emotions. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 08:09 PM (Fhaif) But it has always been that way. Now there are just more of them. It's been that way my whole life and I think probably forever. When there was space to get away or less intrusive government it wasn't life-threatening.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at December 10, 2012 04:11 PM (bxiXv)

10 No doubt a language and a vocabulary developed after matriculation at some ivy league school.

Posted by: crotchetyoldjarhead at December 10, 2012 04:11 PM (IpHyk)

11 Idiocracy is coming true as we watch.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2012 04:12 PM (9XBK2)

12 No shit Sherlock. For shizzle. Time to subvert the paradigm.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 10, 2012 04:12 PM (X9Mnx)

13 I don't mean the political beliefs -- I mean the endlessly-repeated catchphrases. *cuts eyes right and left*

Posted by: that guy that doesn't read all the comments at December 10, 2012 04:13 PM (QupBk)

14 Also, I've used "abstract noun trumps other abstract noun" but only twice.

Posted by: L, elle at December 10, 2012 04:13 PM (0PiQ4)

15 Idiocracy is coming true as we watch.

Yep, Mike Judge is becoming our generation's Nostradamus.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at December 10, 2012 04:13 PM (ZOf1l)

16 our catchphrases are better. plus, they're not generic. as the title of this piece says, these all smell of 2005.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:14 PM (LCRYB)

17 C'mon Dave...need some sharp elbows before the game

Posted by: crotchetyoldjarhead at December 10, 2012 04:14 PM (IpHyk)

18 I say we shoot it with a longbow.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Helping it burn. at December 10, 2012 04:14 PM (Gk3SS)

19 Wow, that was painful.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 10, 2012 04:14 PM (aLLUm)

20 Idiocracy is coming true as we watch.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2012 08:12 PM (9XBK2)

But at the same time, they think they sound so damn smart.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at December 10, 2012 04:15 PM (aozUR)

21 Later, all. God bless.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 10, 2012 04:15 PM (aLLUm)

22 What the smurf was that crap?

Posted by: General Woundwort at December 10, 2012 04:15 PM (0fxcV)

23 This is why we can't have nice things.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 10, 2012 04:16 PM (X9Mnx)

24 Merovign, in simpler times the truly stupid would also die with greater frequency because there was far less bubble-wrap for life.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:16 PM (Fhaif)

25 What's really annoying me is this whole "Snark (TM)" thing. I don't mean actual snark and wisecracks. I mean what I'll call "Snark (TM)." A sort of formalized, standardized, off-the-shelf style of annoying flipness, this eternal posture of the 8th grade Smart-Ass Girl, the contrived air of frivolity without any actual humorousness. It's a learned behavior. It's not creativity. And it's annoying as F*CK.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:16 PM (LCRYB)

26 I figured "pearl clutching" referred to a single pearl. It's weird that they are talking about pearl necklaces; it's like they want somebody to mock them sexually.

Posted by: wooga at December 10, 2012 04:17 PM (cOzk0)

27 I think I'm being generous in giving that mess a 3:2 on the Monkey-Typewriter Index. 3 monkeys, 2 minutes.

Posted by: slug at December 10, 2012 04:17 PM (vVv3V)

28 ~ tap tap tap tap tap ~ Hello! It is I, Hadji, the Muslim Comic here to make your innards wobble up and down as if you are riding a camel with the parkinsons disease. And, so ... A person of your country asked Hadji if Hadji could tell the man a word of four letters for the crossword puzzle - a word which means "Language of Thieves" Hadji said 'cant'. The man, he become angry and committed a hate crime against Hadji. /cricket chirps/ ... May the fleas of a thousand camels lay eggs in the bed upon which you conceive your next child. _ -

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at December 10, 2012 04:18 PM (RuUvx)

29 Sphincter says what?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 10, 2012 04:19 PM (X9Mnx)

30 LIB!

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at December 10, 2012 04:19 PM (uis79)

31 >>>It's a learned behavior. It's not creativity. And it's annoying as F*CK.

Yes it's attempt to look like wit without any actual.....wit. Sort of like plonking and snark combined.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 10, 2012 04:19 PM (0q2P7)

32 Wooga I could be totally off the vernier on it. In the current argot 'pearl clutching' might mean they think someone is grasping at just one argument they think explains everything while implying the person doing such is a swine. I am being creative and winging it, something they tend to fail to do.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:20 PM (Fhaif)

I didn't read the article or Ace's wonderful commentary,

so he's a penis joke.

(Ace, you've written a small novel today, why stop now! I have a paper you can finish for me .)

Posted by: tsrblke at December 10, 2012 04:20 PM (GaqMa)

34 Smart people talk like fags.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2012 04:20 PM (9XBK2)

35 Hey Hadji, a proper curse would be -
"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:21 PM (Fhaif)

36 >>>the contrived air of frivolity without any actual humorousness. That's basically all The Daily Show does nowadays. And I say that as a fan who used to watch "The Jon Stewart Show" on the local UHF channel 20 years ago. When Colin Quinn had his show "Tough Crowd", they would make guests put money in a bucket whenever they went for an audience cheers/applause rather than laughter.

Posted by: wooga at December 10, 2012 04:21 PM (cOzk0)

37 29 Sphincter says what?

I beg your pardon?

Posted by: rear vent at December 10, 2012 04:21 PM (6TB1Z)

38 Note to self: unless it is alignment-of-planet-grade timely and appropriate, avoid media references whenever possible in normal, everyday conversation. Also, if I've heard 50 other people use the same gag, maybe I shouldn't do it either so as to sound like an unoriginal fuckhead.

Yeah, that'll last.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at December 10, 2012 04:22 PM (aozUR)

39 We have Joss Whedon to thanks for couching accusations as questions with "much?" at the end.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:22 PM (9eDbm)

40 Oh damn; I think I might be in love with Hadji the Muslim Comic, but only if he's a fake Muslim.

Posted by: L, elle at December 10, 2012 04:22 PM (0PiQ4)

41 I really hate these intetnet-isms. I'm going to kill the next person who says "butt hurt".

Posted by: roscoe99 at December 10, 2012 04:22 PM (gJWaQ)

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 08:16 PM (LCRYB)

Why I do think ace is insulting my witticisms. I'm offended! (Nah, mostly I'm lazy here actually.)

Posted by: tsrblke at December 10, 2012 04:22 PM (GaqMa)

43 Dang, misspell much? (to myself)

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:23 PM (9eDbm)

44 So, Ace's long-rumored vacation has begun, then?

Oh, and by the way, a penis and a vagina walk into a bar . . .

Ow! Says the penis.

Ooh! Says the vagina.

Thank you, thank you, tip over your waitresses!!!

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:23 PM (NaNKB)

45 When Colin Quinn had his show "Tough Crowd", they would make guests put money in a bucket whenever they went for an audience cheers/applause rather than laughter.

Posted by: wooga at December 10, 2012 08:21 PM (cOzk0)

Man, do I miss that show. Thanks for reminding me, jerk.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at December 10, 2012 04:23 PM (aozUR)

46 I do all these things regularly. Um.

Posted by: Truman North at December 10, 2012 04:23 PM (I2LwF)

47 Wow. Just wow. Facepalm. Jeebus! What?

Posted by: Capt. Backfire at December 10, 2012 04:24 PM (mkb9H)

48 But Truman North, you are trapped in a fortune cookie factory.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:24 PM (Fhaif)

Posted by: roscoe99 at December 10, 2012 08:22 PM (gJWaQ)

Are we excluding when Ken at Popehat uses the term "Butthurt in the First Degree" to mock people filing frivolous lawsuits?

Posted by: tsrblke at December 10, 2012 04:24 PM (GaqMa)

50 @41 NO kidding. I just screamed about it on a sports forum. What's the deal with all the "butt hurt", are hemorrhoids contagious?

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:24 PM (9eDbm)

51 " I didn't read the author's post, but here's a penis joke. " Isn't that what we're here for?

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at December 10, 2012 04:25 PM (Y5I9o)

52 I don't mind butthurt, even though it is old. It's just so evocative of the exact state of... of... well of butthurt you're trying to describe.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:25 PM (LCRYB)

53 Also, I see nothing about SCOAMF here. Fail.

Posted by: pep at December 10, 2012 04:25 PM (6TB1Z)

54 41 I really hate these intetnet-isms. I'm going to kill the next person who says "butt hurt". Posted by: roscoe99 at December 10, 2012 08:22 PM (gJWaQ) We used to say that before we played Internet. 1999, but we were late bloomers.

Posted by: Truman North at December 10, 2012 04:26 PM (I2LwF)

55 OK...[confused] I don't understand the context of the link. Is the article written by a Lefty making fun of the Right?.....Or is the author of the article making fun of the Left? Or is it referencing commentary from someone else Help![please]

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at December 10, 2012 04:26 PM (uis79)

56 Isn't that what we're here for?

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at December 10, 2012 08:25 PM (Y5I9o)

No I'm mostly here for the Cheerleader Elbows. If AllenG ever starts a blog, I'll just leave and go there instead.

Posted by: tsrblke at December 10, 2012 04:26 PM (GaqMa)

57 I really hate these intetnet-isms. I'm going to kill the next person who says "butt hurt". Said nobody, ever.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 10, 2012 04:26 PM (X9Mnx)

58 *Clutches pearls, looks for fainting couch.....*

Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 10, 2012 04:26 PM (jucos)

59 This was lame at Geothermal. It's lamer here.

Posted by: Gerry at December 10, 2012 04:27 PM (2ifWQ)

60 I like slang and catchphrases and evolving language. I just hate when it's a substitute for actual communication.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:27 PM (QupBk)

61 tired words are terrific

Posted by: t.w.a.t. at December 10, 2012 04:27 PM (AIUEp)

62 You can't make this shit up.Obama has had a lichen a fish and now a dinosaur named after him.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2012 04:27 PM (9XBK2)

63 What was the deal with all the fainting, anyway? Was that just cultural and instigated by expectations? Or were they just faking? Was it actually real? Did corsettes figure in any place?

Posted by: Laffin_fool at December 10, 2012 04:27 PM (OjELr)

64 @52 I guess one could say Obama is butt hurt about rich folks not signing over their profits to the government.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:27 PM (9eDbm)

65 Sphincter says what?

"Statement... NOT!"

So 1992

Posted by: wisenheimer, language pedant at December 10, 2012 04:27 PM (eYx/w)

66 Rethuglicans feature very prominently so they obviously don't mind Demorats or Demonrats.

Posted by: Decaf at December 10, 2012 04:27 PM (f88gl)

67 Honey Badger don't give a shit!

Posted by: Honey Badger at December 10, 2012 04:28 PM (2oHJ2)

68 56 Yeah,like THAT would ever happen.AllenG with a blog,you guys have such imaginations.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2012 04:29 PM (9XBK2)

69 In reading and re-reading the linked article in a vain attempt to extract some elixir of comprehensibility out of it, I see one cliche' that they missed.

"XXXX boy (or other noun) is XXXX."

Example:

"Butt-hurt boy is butt-hurt."

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:29 PM (NaNKB)

70 @65 "What's your damage?" (A Whedonism that flopped in the early nineties)

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:29 PM (9eDbm)

71 >>>I don't understand the context of the link. Is the article written by a Lefty making fun of the Right?.....Or is the author of the article making fun of the Left? Or is it referencing commentary from someone else I am not sure but I am quite sure that a large number of these are pulled from leftwing sites. "Because, Muslims" is something a lefty would say (even though I like the "Because, X" gag). Oh noes! is definitely a lefty thing. Frankly a lot of these sound like camp. There's a certain girlishness in them that grates. Like Oh noes! -- so girly. I do not think that straight men (or conservative leaning gay men, for that matter-- anyone who's not deep into the camp sense of non-humor) would say "Oh noes!"

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:29 PM (LCRYB)

72 The Clintons use to have a saying that drove me nuts. Now I can't even remember what it was. They used it like a damn yoga mantra during the Impeachment run up--over and over again. Something like-- "Everyone needs to take a deep breath!" Hell I think that was it.

Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 04:30 PM (r2PLg)

73 >>>"What's your damage?" I think that's from Heathers.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:30 PM (LCRYB)

74 71 Gabe uses it a lot.NTTAWWT.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2012 04:30 PM (9XBK2)

75 "This is true"

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:30 PM (9eDbm)

76 Can I keep using Shut Up! they explained. I love that one.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:30 PM (QupBk)

77 Im always up for bashing lefty, but put some keywords and phrases aside (rethuglicans) and you find this stuff on every blog. There is nothing inherently leftwing about it.

Posted by: Elize Nayden at December 10, 2012 04:31 PM (5w5dN)

78 you must learn your meme
and then you can use it here

Posted by: Moron ku! at December 10, 2012 04:31 PM (AIUEp)

79 "What's your damage?"
I remember that as a line delivered by Cordelia in an early BTVS episode--possibly the pilot: "What is your major malfunction?"

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:31 PM (NaNKB)

80 It's like commentors mail it in sometimes, or something.

Posted by: fluffy at December 10, 2012 04:31 PM (z9HTb)

I read somewhere the term 'technolust' and think it's not bad. I still have a simple phone so obviously I don't suffer from it.

Posted by: Decaf at December 10, 2012 04:32 PM (f88gl)

82 "What is your major malfunction?" I thought that was from FMJ.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:32 PM (QupBk)

83 "Let me be clear" (followed by un-serious demand)

Posted by: The Preznit at December 10, 2012 04:32 PM (9eDbm)

84 O RLY? Like, no wai! Hurl!

Posted by: Mr. Bark Bark at December 10, 2012 04:32 PM (86/8G)

85 @82 yes, followed by "NUMBNUTS!"

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:32 PM (9eDbm)

86 82 Pretty sure that's the first I heard it.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2012 04:32 PM (9XBK2)

87 Too bad we never got paid a dime every time we used such phrases as 'facepalm' then we could be the 1%.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:32 PM (Fhaif)

88 @71 The day I say "Oh Noes".....Please shoot me being the ear with a very large caliber weapon like a Gangster!

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at December 10, 2012 04:33 PM (uis79)

89 @65 "What's your damage?"

(A Whedonism that flopped in the early nineties)

Shiny!

Posted by: K~Bob at December 10, 2012 04:33 PM (AIUEp)

90 18 I say we shoot it with a longbow. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Helping it burn. at December 10, 2012 08:14 PM (Gk3SS) No way. As we've seen, a crossbow is better for multiple targets. What? Too soon?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 10, 2012 04:33 PM (GEICT)

91 WHY COME YOU DON'T GOT NO LEFTY INTERNET MEMES??

Posted by: Jeff B. at December 10, 2012 04:33 PM (/COnL)

92 Probably should have been posted (and for all I know was) in the Let It Burn thread, but:

"Let It Burn" = "Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home," exactly.

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:33 PM (NaNKB)

93 "It's like that joke where the comedian dies and goes to heaven, and he goes to a room with other comedians are just yelling numbers because they all know the jokes that they're telling. Right, and the punchline to that joke is everybody - the guy says six, and everybody laughs. Another guy says 14, and everybody laughs. And then this one guy says seven, no laughs. And he says well, why didn't you laugh? I didn't like the way you told it." Nine. _

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 10, 2012 04:33 PM (RuUvx)

94 Really, this site should not throw stones in the catchphrase department.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:33 PM (QupBk)

95 Decaf, 'technolust' is pretty good. Also called First Adopters. Or being the Joneses. Or simply a sucker.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:34 PM (Fhaif)

96 Sayings that never became Internet memes but should have:

"He tried to kill me with a forklift!"

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:34 PM (NaNKB)

97 Actually, I'm guilty of using a number of these. The less offensive ones, I'd argue (and obviously none of the left-leaning ones). "OH NOES" still has some rhetorical value, properly used.

Posted by: Jeff B. at December 10, 2012 04:35 PM (/COnL)

98 Tickle your ass with a feather?

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:35 PM (QupBk)

99 "...And his hair was perfect"

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:35 PM (9eDbm)

100 >>>I like slang and catchphrases and evolving language. I just hate when it's a substitute for actual communication. I love slang, I like catchphrases, I love running riffs, I love inside jokes, I love call-backs. I think what I'm annoyed about here is that some people just refuse to write a Straight Declarative Sentence. They ALWAYS want to be cutesy-poo, and so they have to resort to a laundry list of tired old gags. I guess it's not the old gags I mind-- it's that some people feel they have to be (or are) always "on." You know anyone who's "always on"? Like a bad comic, or a wannabe comic? Who just cannot end the joke machine even for one second, and who, worse yet, has a revolting number of back-of-the-rim CLANGS compared to the relative few rattle-ins? I have spent time with people in real life who are "Always On." I want to fucking kill them. And not to be Joe Psychiatrist here but anyone who's Always On, always performing, is not only just annoying the fuck out of me, but has deep-seated insecurities because he's obviously not comfortable enough to be himself, without the Clown Mask.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:35 PM (LCRYB)

101 "Head. Desk." seems to be popular among the proggiest of progs in my northern VA county.

Posted by: barbarausa at December 10, 2012 04:35 PM (WWeoI)

102 The good thing about Masturbatin' Pete is that Masturbatin' Pete doesn't have to use cliches and gimmicks as a crutch. He's insightful and rad on his own.

You know what they also do? Britishisms. Bloody. Spot on. Queue up. Ugh.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at December 10, 2012 04:35 PM (8AF9+)

103 My magic 8-ball meme generator comes with a renewable annual subscription, so I'm covered.

Posted by: Fritz at December 10, 2012 04:36 PM (ZA675)

104 All your dumb catchphrases are belong to us.

Posted by: the Left at December 10, 2012 04:36 PM (2oHJ2)

105 >>>Sayings that never became Internet memes but should have:

>>>"He tried to kill me with a forklift!"

I've never seen you around here before, but I immediate recognize you as a friend.

Posted by: Jeff B. at December 10, 2012 04:36 PM (/COnL)

106 I hate it when Yanks say "spot on" (and I'm a Yank).

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:36 PM (9eDbm)

107 I was just on Twitter and got a facefull of the Always On crowd. Jesus, shut the fuck up, and accept that you're not smart enough to have a funny thing to say to *everything.* In fact the people who do this tend to not have a funny thing to say to anything, nevermind everything. So, this is what's up my ass right now. I just want to scream SHUT THE FUCK UP OR WRITE IN DECLARATIVE SENTENCES.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:36 PM (LCRYB)

108 Heard in a Bogart movie I was watching yesterday. Sorry I don't remember the name. "Your opinion of me has no cash value."

Posted by: kahall at December 10, 2012 04:37 PM (u0NM1)

109 I have spent time with people in real life who are "Always On." I want to fucking kill them. ______________________ I think this is why no one stays married to Jim Carrey.

Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 04:37 PM (r2PLg)

110 "Help! He has a stick with a nail in it!"

Posted by: wisenheimer at December 10, 2012 04:37 PM (eYx/w)

111 And not to be Joe Psychiatrist here but anyone who's Always On, always performing, is not only just annoying the fuck out of me, but has deep-seated insecurities because he's obviously not comfortable enough to be himself, without the Clown Mask. Some of us consist completely of constructed Clown Masks. You really wouldn't like us without them.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:37 PM (QupBk)

112 I do questions. Fuck it.

Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 04:37 PM (r2PLg)

113 @107 Ace, in my world only Christopher Walken is allowed to do that.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:38 PM (9eDbm)

114 Posted by: Jeff B. at December 10, 2012 08:36 PM (/COnL)

I'm here. I go away. I come back. So far Ace (or Pixy) hasn't banned me. Life is good.

(Trying for declarative sentences, of the simple variety, just for variety's sake.)

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:38 PM (NaNKB)

115 Olbermann used this meme-speak now and then when he was on MSNBC. Nothing more pathetic than a 50 year old guy trying to look hip. Maddow speaks this way too.

Posted by: roscoe99 at December 10, 2012 04:38 PM (gJWaQ)

116
You'll learn a hobo
crossbow is not a longbow

Posted by: Moron-ku! at December 10, 2012 04:39 PM (SAe+V)

117 When people with a 12 year old vocabulary write this is what you get.

Why is this a surprise? They are products of union public education.

Like man, like man, you know, like man, that's heavy.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at December 10, 2012 04:39 PM (wR+pz)

118 Chicks do questions--it's proven fact.

Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 04:39 PM (r2PLg)

119 In case you guys are worried -- swear to God, I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about Twitter and its Ten Million America's Next Favorite Comedians.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:39 PM (LCRYB)

120 I spend way too much time on 4chan, and that's where all the best memes are bore. The ones that the left adores? They've been beaten to death for years. I could pull some stuff from /b/ and these oh-so-clever lefties would have no idea what the hell I was talking out.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at December 10, 2012 04:39 PM (8AF9+)

121 Usually it's a trap--but you guys can't figure that out.

Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 04:40 PM (r2PLg)

122 Is "hobo-shootin" an overused meme?

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:40 PM (9eDbm)

123 ~ tap tap tap tap tap ~ Hadji will take the Ace Challenge: Challenge One: "I think what I'm annoyed about here is that some people just refuse to write a Straight Declarative Sentence. " Hadji takes the lash to this: There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is His Prophet "They ALWAYS want to be cutesy-poo, and so they have to resort to a laundry list of tired old gags." Hadji ... ummmmmm, ummmm, ummmm ... ahhhhhh ... ahhhhlahu ackbar. Damn the ace, his joke-fu is strong. _

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 10, 2012 04:40 PM (RuUvx)

124 Hey Ace, have I told you that you're one funny guy lately? Because, you really are, or at least you strike my old funny bone a lot.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:40 PM (QupBk)

125 OT: One of the amusing things about my DVR is, after watching RedEye, the O'Reilly re-run comes on. If I let it run, more often than not there's B O'R's smiling (or whatever) face on the screen at the same time as my DVR's question "Would you like to delete this recording?"

Oh, yes, very much so, thank you, my little electronic friend. If only it were Hannity, but yeah . . .

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:41 PM (NaNKB)

126 Just say what you mean.

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 10, 2012 04:41 PM (8sCoq)

127 We commenters are not all smiles and sunshine.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:41 PM (QupBk)

128 119 In case you guys are worried -- swear to God, I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about Twitter and its Ten Million America's Next Favorite Comedians. Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 08:39 PM (LCRYB) _______________ Sorry, I just felt like trolling you in your minute of aggravation. And I truly mean that *sorry* Canadian style...

Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 04:41 PM (r2PLg)

129 Ace:

Comedy is hard. 98% of the jokes on Twitter are clappers.

But one of ours needs to come in for criticism. I have complained about the Dennis Millerization of comedy, which is to make some sort of semi-obscure historical or scientific analogy, and then enjoy the laughter of people who want to signal that they're smart enough to get the joke.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at December 10, 2012 04:41 PM (8AF9+)

130 Gentlemen, the football match has commenced.

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 10, 2012 04:42 PM (8sCoq)

131 98 Tickle your ass with a feather?

Posted by: toby928Â© for TB at December 10, 2012 08:35 PM (QupBk)

What? Oh, I said.

Particularity nice weather.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at December 10, 2012 04:42 PM (wR+pz)

132 @123 You know I'm kind of pleased to see Hadji back to doing blog standup. I imagine life has been pretty depressing since the Arab Spring started going south.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:42 PM (9eDbm)

133 Gentlemen, the football match has commenced. I have, perhaps foolishly, taken the Pats and given the points.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:43 PM (QupBk)

134 Anyways--this is another Val-Girl thing--I will not let go of-- can anyone imagine being married to Jim Carrey? That f'er is nuts.

Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 04:43 PM (r2PLg)

135 Compounding the problem: I've seen lefty women bloggers use this stuff more than men. Feminists are never funny and women are almost never funny (Tina Fey is not funny), so it's doubly awful.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at December 10, 2012 04:44 PM (8AF9+)

136 Yawn. The political left continues to bore.

Posted by: Good Lt. at December 10, 2012 04:44 PM (iwHxr)

137 76 Can I keep using Shut Up! they explained. I love that one. Posted by: toby928Â© for TB at December 10, 2012 08:30 PM (QupBk) Yes. "Shut up he explained" was from a Ring Lardner story that is about 90 years old. http://tinyurl.com/d3kyk22

Posted by: rickl at December 10, 2012 04:44 PM (sdi6R)

138 >I have, perhaps foolishly, taken the Pats and given the points.

Posted by: toby928Â© for TB at December 10, 2012 08:43 PM (QupBk)

These Texas chaps seem quite optimistic.

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 10, 2012 04:44 PM (8sCoq)

139 >>>Like Oh noes! -- so girly. I do not think that straight men (or conservative leaning gay men, for that matter-- anyone who's not deep into the camp sense of non-humor) would say "Oh noes!"

Oh fuck you. It's like you knew I wrote this phrase in the other thread. Seriously, if someone's writing it in their own voice, then yeah that's appallingly lame. But it actually does work if you're trying to sarcastically capture a tone of "moronic panic" in the behavior of someone you're describing. I would never say it in my own voice -- it's the sort of phrase you put, preferably all-caps, into the mouths of someone else you're paraphrasing.

In closing: fuck you.

Posted by: Jeff B. at December 10, 2012 04:44 PM (/COnL)

140 zOMfG!!1! I can haz grammer n iPad app plz!!`~elevetny!!1!

Posted by: LOL-Dem at December 10, 2012 04:44 PM (sZTYJ)

141 133 Gentlemen, the football match has commenced. I have, perhaps foolishly, taken the Pats and given the points. Posted by: toby928Â© for TB at December 10, 2012 08:43 PM (QupBk) ___________ Oooh damn it. Thanks for the reminder. Please let Gisele get sacked! I'm off.

Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 04:44 PM (r2PLg)

142 SHUT THE FUCK UP OR WRITE IN DECLARATIVE SENTENCES.

Abuse like this makes me want to clutch my pearls.

Posted by: fluffy at December 10, 2012 04:45 PM (z9HTb)

143 It's tribalism. They either believe themselves to be members of a tribe, or desperately want to belong to that tribe. So they speak in the language of the tribe and mark themselves by using its code. They desire status within the tribe, and the way to earn status is wit, or it's facsimile.

Posted by: mama winger at December 10, 2012 04:45 PM (P6QsQ)

144 @140 kitten memes will never get old

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:45 PM (9eDbm)

145 Yes, "What's your damage" is from Heathers 1988.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 10, 2012 04:45 PM (TtXjG)

146 So there! In your face!

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 10, 2012 04:45 PM (TtXjG)

147 So they speak in the language of the tribe and mark themselves by using its code./i] I just spray musk around.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:46 PM (QupBk)

148 They forgot "Butthurt." Every complaint against SCOAMF is met with, "Gee, sounds like you're still Butthurt [optional: that a black man is president.]"

Posted by: Tonic Dog at December 10, 2012 04:46 PM (X/+QT)

149 dammit, that's twice.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 10, 2012 04:46 PM (QupBk)

150 To mark Ace's vacation here is a Star Wars at the beach picture. Princess Leia in her metal bikini and Lord Vader dropping the beats with his boom-box. Just don't ban me for this, please!!

http://tinyurl.com/b7aabok

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2012 04:46 PM (Fhaif)

151 @145 Noni in that black dress in the shower. Now I remember!

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:47 PM (9eDbm)

152

135, agreed, and thank you for reminding me of my favorite lightbulb joke:

*how many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

*One. And that's NOT FUNNY.

Posted by: barbarausa at December 10, 2012 04:47 PM (WWeoI)

153 Sayings that never became Internet memes but should have:
"He tried to kill me with a forklift!"
Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 08:34 PM

So close.

Posted by: Rachel Corrie at December 10, 2012 04:47 PM (bAGA/)

154 Remember kids, thanks to Mel Gibson, we now have our very own style of haiku, called Moron-ku. It's exactly the same as haiku, only the last line is always the same five syllables: "But first, you'll blow me" Since it's always the same, you can leave it out (which is another curious habit of morons).

You'll learn Moron-ku
right here at the Ace of Spades

Posted by: Moron-ku! at December 10, 2012 04:49 PM (SAe+V)

155 Valley Girl:

http://youtu.be/Qb21lsCQ3EM

(There's gotta be a better video out there somewhere, but hell this thread's gonna die any minute as it is . . . )

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:49 PM (NaNKB)

156 "...until he took an arrow to the knee"

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 10, 2012 04:49 PM (9eDbm)

157 The "great culling" that will occur during the collapse will tamp a lot of this shit down.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 10, 2012 04:50 PM (cHr8a)

158 #108 Casablanca......

Posted by: Daily Dish at December 10, 2012 04:51 PM (+b3dK)

159

agreed, and thank you for reminding me of my favorite lightbulb joke:
*how many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
*One. And that's NOT FUNNY.

Posted by: barbarausa

I've always been partial to, "How many feminists does it take to cook breakfast?"

"Two, one to boil the eggs and one to suck my cock."

It rarely fails to deliver.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at December 10, 2012 04:51 PM (bbTyq)

160 STFU Donny!

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at December 10, 2012 04:51 PM (uis79)

161 I'm going to start my own catchphrase-- "Don't get the vag-sweats, dude."

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 04:51 PM (LCRYB)

162 Sayings that never became Internet memes but should have: "He tried to kill me with a forklift!" Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 08:34 PM Forklift Driver Klaus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-rJndNbCYY

Posted by: Klaus at December 10, 2012 04:52 PM (sZTYJ)

163 What about stompy boots?

Posted by: Decaf at December 10, 2012 04:52 PM (f88gl)

164 Vag-sweat much?

Posted by: roscoe99 at December 10, 2012 04:53 PM (gJWaQ)

165 Actually, in all fairness, 75-80% of the Right blogosphere is just as insufferable in precisely this same manner.

Let's face it: internet discourse is retarded in a bipartisan manner.

Posted by: Actually at December 10, 2012 04:54 PM (Ys6PL)

166 The Clintons use to have a saying that drove me nuts. Now I can't even remember what it was. They used it like a damn yoga mantra during the Impeachment run up--over and over again. Something like-- "Everyone needs to take a deep breath!" Hell I think that was it. Posted by: tasker at December 10, 2012 08:30 PM (r2PLg) YOU try taking a deep breath through your nostrils, asshole.

Posted by: Monica Lewinski at December 10, 2012 04:54 PM (Rhie+)

167 Vag-sweat much?

Only when the agents of big-tonsil are after me.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 10, 2012 04:55 PM (cHr8a)

168 Bill Buckley, rest his soul, had a great analysis of this:"Stupidity has learned how to think." There's an old Russian expression:"Paper will take anything." In the Net age, I guess we can say pixels will take anything, or some such. As we look at it from a meta-strategic view, I think the only logical response is to cut the oxygen (by which I mean OUR sorely limited time/focus from this fire. Every time a normal human goes to one of these tard sites, he becomes, of course, a target of all the tards. At that moment, several things happen: the tards get psyched; they focus on the normal; they turn their focus from each other. The normal, OTOH, gets roughly the same treatment as a Jew at an Arab townsquare stoning. ...A long way of saying we need to quarantine these tards, and let them turn their venom on each other. Which they WILL. Is it anything less than a 110% waste of time&psychic energy to engage them?

Posted by: JewishOdysseus at December 10, 2012 04:56 PM (FWwQD)

169 75-80% of the Right blogosphere is just as insufferable in precisely this same manner.

80% of all statistics are bullshit made up on the spot.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 10, 2012 04:56 PM (cHr8a)

170 Fugitive Alien 2

http://youtu.be/OSf2Td8ZZQs

"He tried to kill me with a forklift."

(Two hours well spent. Well, as well spent as any Moron can expect at this time of night, and on a weeknight no less. What, you want to watch football?)

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 04:56 PM (NaNKB)

171 "... What, you want to watch football?)"

Only if it's played with forklifts.

Posted by: K-Bob at December 10, 2012 04:58 PM (SAe+V)

172

@140 kitten memes will never get old

Like Caturday?

Posted by: Decaf at December 10, 2012 04:59 PM (f88gl)

173 "Frankly a lot of these sound like camp. There's a certain girlishness in them that grates. Like Oh noes! -- so girly. I do not think that straight men (or conservative leaning gay men, for that matter-- anyone who's not deep into the camp sense of non-humor) would say "Oh noes!"

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 08:29 PM (LCRYB)"

They are all girly. But, until they invent an internet app that let's you punch a motherfucker who says it in the head, it will continue to be used by motherfuckers who can't take punches to the head but can type and hide behind a screen.

Posted by: BS Inc. at December 10, 2012 05:00 PM (FFwP9)

174 Well, Luke Russert really is annoying

Jeebus, did I really type that? *Facepalm*

...also...what's the biggie about Socrates? I mean really? AmIright?

Posted by: Albie Damned at December 10, 2012 05:01 PM (Yhu4q)

175 I've actually had pretty good luck on HuffPo when I can rebut some stupid shit with links/data that go direct to some US govt server.

I won't offer any editorial commentary other than to say "I think you're wrong, and here's the data that shows it"

That's usually a discussion ender. Nobody wants to argue against Obama's own data.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 10, 2012 05:02 PM (cHr8a)

176 "157 The "great culling" that will occur during the collapse will tamp a lot of this shit down.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 10, 2012 08:50 PM (cHr8a)"

Funny to think that these people and their memes are what $16 trillion in debt bought. I want a fucking refund.

Posted by: BS Inc. at December 10, 2012 05:02 PM (FFwP9)

177 You can have have my kitteh memes when you pry them from my cold dead claws.

Posted by: rickl at December 10, 2012 05:03 PM (sdi6R)

178
80% of all statistics are bullshit made up on the spot.

10% are accurate

Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at December 10, 2012 05:04 PM (BAnPT)

179 When I let it burn I get vag sweats.

I really should use that ointment.

Posted by: Mr. Muu Muu at December 10, 2012 05:07 PM (2oHJ2)

180 damn, wrong thread.

Posted by: Mr. Muu Muu at December 10, 2012 05:07 PM (2oHJ2)

181 The easiest ones to put down are the gun grabbers who make claims about firearms law and such when they whine about we need this or that and you provide links to 27 CFR text or a Form 4473 showing the "new" gun control laws they want have in fact been the law of the land since 1968, and what they want is less strict than what is already in place...

...that's the wedge that allows YOU to start whining about lax enforcement.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 10, 2012 05:09 PM (cHr8a)

182 I say "oh noes" occasionally to my HS age daughter, just to irritate her. Her eyes roll back in her head and she tells me "never say that again". This, of course, ensures that I'll do it again.

My life is rich.

Posted by: pep at December 10, 2012 05:11 PM (6TB1Z)

183 Ace this article is amazing. One of the best things you have posted here this week, if not this month. I have no idea how this guy nailed the Gawker-ThinkProgress-Firedoglake style so perfectly. I wouldn't have thought it possible.

Posted by: Yoshi, Aggrieved Victim of the White Man at December 10, 2012 05:13 PM (csi6Y)

184 Dude. It's come to this. What could go wrong? See what I did there?

Posted by: nobama2012 at December 10, 2012 05:15 PM (vN3Mm)

185 All of them come off the same assembly line wherein some union worker has stuffed their rectums with the "snark" extract from at least twenty douchebags.

Posted by: Yoshi, Aggrieved Victim of the White Man at December 10, 2012 05:16 PM (csi6Y)

186 30 years ago we all had a good laugh at Frank Zappa's daughter, Moon Unit, and her ValleyGirl dialect...Today these types are making fun of us who actually know how to speak, write & think, while picking our pockets via the spoil-system state. One of the hallmarks of a 3d World country is high formal rates of taxation coupled with low practical rates, since there is such rampant tax evasion. We are becoming this type of 3d World country. Funny thing, that systemic tax evasion is our only hope for survival as a nation. Ohh, remember that America was founded by smugglers.

Posted by: JewishOdysseus at December 10, 2012 05:17 PM (FWwQD)

187 Correction: Fork lift is actually in the first Fugitive Alien episode.

http://youtu.be/9-CV1Raacs4

We regret the error.

However the skits (especially Tom Servo blowing his top) are arguably better in Fugitive Alien II.

Posted by: filbert at December 10, 2012 05:19 PM (NaNKB)

188 I don't know if anyone else noticed, but the Left is supposed to be a bastion of Knowledge, and Artistic Skill, and Command of the Language of Poetry. And that article was written as if the author had been huffing glue very recently. I'm not sure I can bring myself to go back and check (if the info is even available) but someone please tell me the author does have some sort of Fine Arts degree. If you do find that out, please ask me if I'm sitting before posting said information. I don't want to brain myself on a piece of furniture in an uncontrollable laughing fit. That would be sort of an embarrassing epitaph.

Posted by: Sterlingthebandit at December 10, 2012 05:21 PM (cih6B)

189 they ape our enjoyment of outdated words and phrases, they just do it very badly.

Posted by: Shoey at December 10, 2012 05:24 PM (m6OUa)

190 186 30 years ago we all had a good laugh at Frank Zappa's daughter, Moon Unit, and her ValleyGirl dialect...Today these types are making fun of us who actually know how to speak, write & think, while picking our pockets via the spoil-system state. The thing is, Moon Unit's song "Valley Girl" was mocking those people. Then, somehow, it became fashionable to talk that way. I watched it happen in real time and I still can't figure it out.

Posted by: rickl at December 10, 2012 05:24 PM (sdi6R)

191 Liberals are basically a bunch of fifteen-year-old girls. Oh, some of them are old, some are genetically male, but they all have the mindset of fifteen-year-old girls. Every issue can be boiled down to a bumper-sticker slogan, the most important thing is not to be right but to be "nice" or "cute," and conversations consist of an endless stream of catch-phrases and space-fillers rather than any kind of logical thought process or reasoning based on fact. They al are desperate to be part of the cool kids clique, and have the attention span of mayflies on crack. Meanwhile the thugs and crooks who understand how to manipulate their fifteen-year-old brains have an ironclad grip on power, which they use to loot the treasury and pander to the desires of fifteen-year-old girls. Is there any place on Earth where free adults can live?

Posted by: Trimegistus at December 10, 2012 05:26 PM (OuDuJ)

192 Is there any place on Earth where free adults can live?

Its summer now at McMurdo station.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 10, 2012 05:28 PM (cHr8a)

193 189 they ape our enjoyment of outdated words and phrases, they just do it very badly. Posted by: Shoey at December 10, 2012 09:24 PM (m6OUa) correction, they ape our enjoyment of outdated, unique and amusingly mangled words and phrases...

Posted by: Shoey at December 10, 2012 05:30 PM (m6OUa)

194 159--just back after some chores--I'll bet!!

Posted by: barbarausa at December 10, 2012 05:33 PM (WWeoI)

195 82 "What is your major malfunction?" I thought that was from FMJ. Posted by: toby928Â© for TB at December 10, 2012 08:32 PM (QupBk) Yep, and my Drill Instructors used it in the 70's ( as I'm sure Ermey did before that). Quite fuckin hilarious the first couple times I heard it until caught laughing and ended up dropping for bends and thrusts for 30 minutes. Honestly, most of that shit has been around the block a bit.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Waiting for the Sun at December 10, 2012 05:35 PM (suQ++)

196 191 Liberals are basically a bunch of fifteen-year-old girls. Oh, some of them are old, some are genetically male, but they all have the mindset of fifteen-year-old girls. Every issue can be boiled down to a bumper-sticker slogan, the most important thing is not to be right but to be "nice" or "cute," and conversations consist of an endless stream of catch-phrases and space-fillers rather than any kind of logical thought process or reasoning based on fact. They al are desperate to be part of the cool kids clique, and have the attention span of mayflies on crack. Yepper. To a "t"

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Waiting for the Sun at December 10, 2012 05:38 PM (suQ++)

197

*how many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
*One. And that's NOT FUNNY.

How many Radcliffe girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's WOMEN, and it's STILL NOT FUNNY.

Posted by: Secundus, Life Coach at December 10, 2012 05:41 PM (yExak)

198 195 98ZJUSMC That's interesting. I didn't know that. The movie came out in 1987 and I always assumed that it was a line of dialogue that referred to the Challenger explosion a year earlier where the NASA announcer said, "Obviously a major malfunction." (Yes, I know the movie was set in the Vietnam era, but Hollywood screenwriters are certainly capable of using anachronisms.)

Posted by: rickl at December 10, 2012 05:44 PM (sdi6R)

199 Well I would not say liberals are like 15-year-old girls. Their liberalism is just very shallow. They are liberals because they want to "help people", oh and because "Republicans are mean". If you dig any deeper into their "philosophy" at all, it just completely unravels in a giant mess of cognitive dissonance.

Posted by: chemjeff at December 10, 2012 05:49 PM (d/5qf)

200 MOAR

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 10, 2012 06:03 PM (GE81t)

201
Will Joe Scarborough think I am an intellectual if I spout this crap?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 10, 2012 06:11 PM (8VAP0)

202 "the Villagers have held their grand powwow and declared that all the Very Serious People must use Abundant Capital Letters to convey irony." Hmm.

Posted by: Rich at December 10, 2012 06:13 PM (arczc)

203 been saying this for years. jon stewart isn't funny at all. put him on stage anywhere, and he'll flop all day long. you can boil this "humor", what i'm sure they'd describe as swiftian satire, down to a stuck out tongue and the mocking derision of the accusation that you're stupid while they're smart. that's not funny even if you're on the right side of the "joke". it's uncreative scorn and at best it's only ever snicker-worthy or one of those laughs you make when you suck in air quickly, contort your mouth into a smirk and smile in approval. it's terribly boring especially since it's comprised of little more than what ace has been on about for a few days now that all it is is not taking a stand on anything and demonizing any position taken by the people you hate.

Posted by: matt foley at December 10, 2012 06:16 PM (ES9kw)

204 Yeah Jon Stewart has his unfunny moments but conservatives would be unwise to deny he can be funny at times. His show is, on its face, much better than the 1/2 Hour News Hour. And it's much more focused than Gutfeld's. I enjoy Red Eye, but it's a very much red meat/camp kind of thing, not really a mass appeal show. That's fine with me. But ultimately it's apples and oranges if you compare it to the Daily Show.

Posted by: Yoshi, Aggrieved Victim of the White Man at December 10, 2012 06:27 PM (csi6Y)

205 And 15 year old girls with groupthink can be absolutely ruthless to their 'enemy.' Think Trig Palin

Posted by: RWC at December 10, 2012 07:16 PM (sqp6o)

206 "The Clintons use to have a saying that drove me nuts.

Now I can't even remember what it was.

They used it like a damn yoga mantra during the Impeachment run up--over and over again.

Something like--

"Everyone needs to take a deep breath!" "

No, the phrase most used by the Clintons was "No, Senator, I don't remember that."

Posted by: West at December 10, 2012 07:21 PM (M9Z1j)

207 We must repeal Obamacare and bring real health care solutions for the American people based on consumer choice and free market principles.We must cut spending, fix the debt, reform entitlements, and balance the budget within ten years without raising taxes.We must ensure our nation has a strong national defense.We must restore limited, constitutional government.We must preserve American exceptionalism, because we think Lincoln was right when he called America Â“the last, best hope of earth.

Talk about idiotic talking points. You guys do idiotic talking points like no one else on earth.

I heard Lindsey said The One should "man up" today...something about 'one ball'. This is like Liza Minnelli wanting Cher to be a little more butch.

The right has turned into a Freudian playground.

Posted by: troglaman at December 10, 2012 08:27 PM (dBe7Y)

208 You have to open the clam to clutch the pearl lol

Posted by: Smittywood at December 10, 2012 08:35 PM (QQJAO)

209 "A nation of Jeff Spicoli's and Snoop Dogg's. " You mean Snoop LIONS.

Posted by: Ace's liver at December 10, 2012 10:46 PM (1+XRG)

210 "I remember that as a line delivered by Cordelia in an early BTVS episode--possibly the pilot: "What is your major malfunction?"" That was in the famous R. Lee Ermey "Full Metal Jacket" barracks scene, which predates Buffy by a decade.

Posted by: Ace's liver at December 10, 2012 10:58 PM (1+XRG)

211

Stock phrases, so you don't have to spend precious seconds thinking about what you want to say.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - sees the gods of the copybook headings on the horizon at December 11, 2012 06:08 AM (hLRSq)

212 But for the lack of spelling errors, I'd have assumed this linked to Meghan McCain.

Posted by: SocietyIs2Blame at December 11, 2012 06:43 AM (WLuv5)

213 206 - can we do that without inhaling ? (and yes, my apologies, Ms. Lewinsky, I was referring to smoking...)

Posted by: SocietyIs2Blame at December 11, 2012 06:44 AM (WLuv5)

214 You missed "amiright?" Amiright? (but I reserve the right to contimue to use "fainting couch." The Left stole that one from us.)

Posted by: BlueStateRepub at December 11, 2012 07:34 AM (7ObY1)

215 They should read C.S. Lewis's Screwtape Letters and The Inner Ring. Each offers an analysis of flippant behavior that should mortify these people if they were capable of that much self-awareness.

Posted by: Tickelbee at December 11, 2012 07:41 AM (ImLKS)

216

The Inner Ring is a one-page address Lewis gave at a graduation. Much shorter and more to the point that Screwtape.

Posted by: Tickelbee at December 11, 2012 07:46 AM (ImLKS)

217 25 What's really annoying me is this whole "Snark (TM)" thing. I don't mean actual snark and wisecracks.

I mean what I'll call "Snark (TM)." A sort of formalized, standardized, off-the-shelf style of annoying flipness, this eternal posture of the 8th grade Smart-Ass Girl, the contrived air of frivolity without any actual humorousness.

It's a learned behavior. It's not creativity. And it's annoying as F*CK.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2012 08:16 PM (LCRYB)

I trace it back to the Simpsons. I remember wondering if I should allow my son to watch it or not. Now everyone acts/talks like Bart. Guess I should have rung a bell or something?

Posted by: Amy Shulkusky at December 11, 2012 08:21 AM (uMfFZ)

218 143 It's tribalism. They either believe themselves to be members of a tribe, or desperately want to belong to that tribe. So they speak in the language of the tribe and mark themselves by using its code. They desire status within the tribe, and the way to earn status is wit, or it's facsimile.

Posted by: mama winger at December 10, 2012 08:45 PM (P6QsQ)

Interesting. I never thought of it that way. Very erudite.

I know I coin words/phrases to try to explain what my brain is connecting, and a lot of these seem like the same shortcuts to me.

The only difference? Those that gain instant status are the simplest of constructs. Mine tend to make sense only to me.

Posted by: Amy Shulkusky at December 11, 2012 08:40 AM (uMfFZ)

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