Ace of Spades HQ

April 27, 2012

FiAF!!! Woooo!
— LauraW

Have fun, dearest Morons! But take it easy. Ace is still 'under the weather' from last weekend. This was him, last Saturday morning.

Brought to you by JÃ¤germeister.

MAN!! If I had a nickel for every time I was shot out of a tree...I'd have, what? Seventy-five cents? Something like that. Dang.

AOSHQ PSA: It's a crappy way to start a day, guys. They don't always put a mattress under there.

Take it easy and have a good weekend.

Thanks to Dave in Texas for the pic. Clicking it links to the story, if you're curious about the bear.

Open thread.

Posted by: LauraW at 06:42 AM | Comments (107)
Post contains 105 words, total size 1 kb.

1 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Is the bear going down, or up?

Posted by: Dave G at April 27, 2012 06:43 AM (WE9e/)

2 That's not a bear, that's a very ugly ewok.

Posted by: Warthog at April 27, 2012 06:44 AM (WDySP)

3 How many times does a bear bounce when it falls from a tree?

Posted by: EC at April 27, 2012 06:44 AM (GQ8sn)

4 Oh gawd. Sheppy Smith would love to add that pic to his "news" this afternoon.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 27, 2012 06:45 AM (UOM48)

5 You can just tell that bear smells like lighter fluid.

Posted by: lauraw at April 27, 2012 06:46 AM (eZUHn)

6 Clicking it links to the story, if you're curious about the bear. I found the part about the bear being crated and put aboard Air Force One disturbing...

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 27, 2012 06:46 AM (niZvt)

7 The bear didn't get a tree climbing permit for fish and game? They are strict.

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at April 27, 2012 06:46 AM (NVu2l)

8 That's one big damn ewok!

Posted by: Billy Bob, Pseudo Intellectual at April 27, 2012 06:47 AM (vSiVD)

9 from twitter-- Warren was a Hahvahd two-fer, but lied about it. I love it! http://tinyurl.com/bwrwaz4

Posted by: NewBrunswicker at April 27, 2012 06:47 AM (triNw)

10 Somebody tell Obama that is NOT a large dog.

Posted by: EC at April 27, 2012 06:48 AM (GQ8sn)

11 Hah! Love the bear pic.

Remember the story a while back about people trying to catch a bear by putting beer, among other tasty items, in a cage? Valu-Rite, pudding cups and hobos would probably work, too.

Iowahawk came up with a great name for SCOAMF - President Bikehelmet Dogeater McMomjeans. Perfect-o.

Posted by: Theresa at April 27, 2012 06:48 AM (Cf5RM)

12 Well went outside to wave goodbye to the shuttle. I done my duty

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 27, 2012 06:48 AM (i6RpT)

13 The mattress is so you don't bruise the meat.

Posted by: Obumbles at April 27, 2012 06:48 AM (qBtUE)

14 We love you, Hover-Bear!

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2012 06:48 AM (Ky1+e)

This is unbearable! I can hardly bear to watch this poor guy falling.

Posted by: Heralder at April 27, 2012 06:49 AM (/Mxso)

16 15 We love you, Hover-Bear! I'm dying.

Posted by: lauraw at April 27, 2012 06:49 AM (eZUHn)

17 [i14 The mattress is so you don't bruise the meat. Posted by: Obumbles at April 27, 2012 10:48 AM (qBtUE)[/i] Oh no! You WANT bruising!

Posted by: Some Korean Chef at April 27, 2012 06:49 AM (niZvt)

18 Put a dress on it and I'd think it was another pic of Moochelle levitating.

Posted by: Lady in Black at April 27, 2012 06:50 AM (OpijJ)

19 That bear levitates just like Mooch.

Posted by: grease monkey at April 27, 2012 06:50 AM (VSWPU)

20 16 This is unbearable! I can hardly bear to watch this poor guy falling. Posted by: Heralder at April 27, 2012 10:49 AM (/Mxso) Do you always bear your feelings for all to see like this?

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 27, 2012 06:50 AM (niZvt)

21 Looks like he's bearly conscious.

Posted by: Heralder at April 27, 2012 06:50 AM (/Mxso)

22 5 Oh gawd. Sheppy Smith would love to add that pic to his "news" this afternoon. Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 27, 2012 10:45 AM (UOM4

That is the first thing I thought of when I saw the pic.

Posted by: Mandy P., long-time lurker at April 27, 2012 06:51 AM (qFpRI)

23 14 The mattress is so you don't bruise the meat.

Except for the tenderloin, beer meat is some nasty smelly shit. The stink of skinning a bear is a hard smell to forget. Like Ewok breath, something not to mess with.

Posted by: Billy Bob, Pseudo Intellectual at April 27, 2012 06:51 AM (vSiVD)

24 Poor thing is being captured to make a coat for Mooch.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 27, 2012 06:51 AM (UOM48)

25 Does a bear shit when he lands on the mattress?

Posted by: Fritz at April 27, 2012 06:51 AM (/ZZCn)

26 >>Wildlife officers tranquilized him and he fell onto padded mats. Whoa, deju vu.

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 27, 2012 06:52 AM (XdlcF)

27
The bear is coiffured more elegantly than Debbie Wassermanly Schultz. Absent the thunder thighs also.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 27, 2012 06:52 AM (TkGkA)

28 Morning, all!

Oh dear. That's a terribly unflattering picture of the head Ewok. *clucking tongue*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 27, 2012 06:52 AM (CA2NO)

29 It does look like he's levitating while meditating. Is that bear doing Yogi?

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 27, 2012 06:52 AM (niZvt)

30 What kind of bear is best?

Posted by: Jim Halpert at April 27, 2012 06:52 AM (Pi5Sz)

31
This photo is udderly ridiculous.

Posted by: Joe "Jerkwad" Biden at April 27, 2012 06:52 AM (TkGkA)

32 I hate fucking bears, too.

Posted by: soothie at April 27, 2012 06:53 AM (OHhPo)

33 OT

Daily Caller has a story about the EPA "crucify" cocksucker. Youtube has pulled the vid after a complaint to Inhofe's office by the original uploader taking issue with the Senator using it to make the EPA look even worse than they are.

Posted by: EC at April 27, 2012 06:53 AM (GQ8sn)

34 While serving Jury Duty in Monterey, they locked down the court house grounds, because a black bear was spotted wandering around. They treed the bear, shot it with a tranquilizer gun, and the unfortunate bear fell out of the tree, and broke three of it's four legs. They sent the animal to a vet that specialized in wildlife care, and talked up plans to rehabilitate it...then the story went away. I suspect the bear is a rug on someone's floor today.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at April 27, 2012 06:53 AM (L7hol)

35 Man, I could use cold bear.

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 27, 2012 06:53 AM (niZvt)

They have a huge padded mat on standby in Denver. Somewhere a government procuremnt clerk is saying "see mofo's, I told you we would need that!"

Posted by: Jimmah at April 27, 2012 06:53 AM (UpwlP)

37 Normal stuff for springtime in Boulder.
As warm and dry as it's been, I'm amazed this didn't happen a lot sooner.

Posted by: jwb7605 at April 27, 2012 06:53 AM (Qxe/p)

38 I hate fucking bears, too. Posted by: soothie

Me too. They scratch like crazy.

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2012 06:54 AM (Ky1+e)

39 33 I hate fucking bears, too. Posted by: soothie at April 27, 2012 10:53 AM (OHhPo) What about runway models? Do you hate fucking them, too?

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 27, 2012 06:54 AM (niZvt)

40 That bear is on drugs. That's because the bear union prevented them from testing.

Posted by: Vic at April 27, 2012 06:54 AM (YdQQY)

41 That oso is a baboso.

Posted by: grease monkey at April 27, 2012 06:55 AM (VSWPU)

42
...using it to make the EPA look even worse than they are.

Posted by: EC at April 27, 2012 10:53 AM (GQ8sn)

Wasn't aware making them 'look even worse than they are' was possible?

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 27, 2012 06:55 AM (TkGkA)

43 Bear with me while I think of some more puns.

Posted by: Heralder at April 27, 2012 06:56 AM (/Mxso)

44 If you squint, it kind of looks like the bear's aiming a flying kick at the guy on the far left. Beware the taekwondo bear.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 27, 2012 06:56 AM (Pi5Sz)

45 >>...using it to make the EPA look even worse than they are. Laura, I demand that you take down this pic for the same reason.

Posted by: The Bear at April 27, 2012 06:57 AM (XdlcF)

46 Bear with me while I think of some more puns.

It's a grizzly scene.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 27, 2012 06:57 AM (Pi5Sz)

47 You know, that bear looks like he's going to hit that mattress and start to bust a move. Start off with some 1990s, then break it down into a Coffee Grinder and then whip out some mean Flares...

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 27, 2012 06:58 AM (CA2NO)

48 The deputy on the right facing the camera seems to be way too happy about this.

Posted by: Lord Monochromicorn at April 27, 2012 06:58 AM (ztIQE)

49
Why is that lady in the blue truck in the background telling the wildlife officer's they're number 1?

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 27, 2012 06:58 AM (TkGkA)

50 Is that the same bear that gave the weather report the other day?

http://tinyurl.com/72fa68m

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 27, 2012 06:58 AM (tf9Ne)

Pictured above: Photo illustration of a Bear Market.

Posted by: Heralder at April 27, 2012 06:58 AM (/Mxso)

52 Can this pic be incorporated into a new flaming skull graphic? ...ya know, like a big story would call for the flaming levitating bear graphic... Send up the Slu-bat signal...

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 27, 2012 06:59 AM (XdlcF)

53 Eating a mini Mr. Goodbar, and thinking I should have had the Krackel. Oh well.

Posted by: Jimmah at April 27, 2012 06:59 AM (UpwlP)

54 54 Eating a mini Mr. Goodbar, and thinking I should have had the Krackel. Oh well.

Posted by: Jimmah at April 27, 2012 10:59 AM (UpwlP)

That is what is known as a First World Problem.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 27, 2012 07:00 AM (CA2NO)

55 Wasn't aware making them 'look even worse than they are' was possible?

What's really disturbing is Youtube pulling it even though the uploader marked it as "free to use". I hope the Senator's office or someone else made a copy.

Posted by: EC at April 27, 2012 07:00 AM (GQ8sn)

56 Bunch of white guys, black bear, and a tree. It's like slavery all over again. All the bear wanted was freedom.

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at April 27, 2012 07:01 AM (NVu2l)

57 Bear with me while I think of some more puns.

It's a grizzly scene.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 27, 2012 10:57 AM (Pi5Sz)

That bear is just bi-polar.

Posted by: Virginia SoCon at April 27, 2012 07:01 AM (+/C3g)

58 The mattress keeps the meat from bruising.

Posted by: toby928© at April 27, 2012 07:01 AM (NG097)

59 Barky and Mooch are arriving here today. Flying into Hunter AAF (and creating delays galore at Savannah Int'l. Airport. Going by copter to Ft. Stewart to pose with members of the 3rd ID and look "concerned" with the families.

I hate those two f*ckers.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 27, 2012 07:01 AM (UOM48)

60 I just performed a random act of kindness (or corruption, not sure which). I asked my wife how many F's she was doling out in a class (final grades get submitted today) and she said 7, most of whom had never shown up and one who had done well until last month. I asked what the deal was and apparently the woman's husband is out of work and occasionally hospitalized with PTSD-style afflictions (Iraq vet) so this lady couldn't keep up attendance, papers, etc. I told my wife that I'd do some major gardening today if she gave the woman a D instead of an F. She said no way, thought about it, and then said yes. So some Veteran out there won't have to pony up more cash next year to repeat the course. My good deed of the day.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 27, 2012 07:03 AM (hiMsy)

61 I hate those two f*ckers. Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 27, 2012 11:01 AM (UOM4

Amen

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 27, 2012 07:04 AM (i6RpT)

62 Black bear. White cops. I'm surprised they didn't lay the spike strips out under it. RACISTS!

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2012 07:05 AM (Ky1+e)

63 Is king putt giving another speech about his economic agenda ?

Posted by: Cu'Chulainn at April 27, 2012 07:05 AM (oW269)

64 The wildlife rangers look white-hispanic-joo! Justice for da BEAR!!!!!!

Posted by: dananjcon at April 27, 2012 07:05 AM (eavT+)

65 Aaaargh! The bear is levitating! It must be witchcraft! Quick! Burn Nancy Pelosi!

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at April 27, 2012 07:06 AM (gPDxp)

66 Racist wingnuts! All that's missing from this photo is a noose.

Posted by: Fritz at April 27, 2012 07:06 AM (/ZZCn)

67 They'd never do that to a white bear. What's next? Are they gonna taze a panda for being bi-racial?

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at April 27, 2012 07:06 AM (NVu2l)

68 Phew....Its a good thing they caught my tranquilizing on camera!

Posted by: Rodney King at April 27, 2012 07:08 AM (eavT+)

69 Wheee!!!!!

Posted by: osoloco at April 27, 2012 07:09 AM (4DKt+)

Speaking of the 3rd ID. Its a good time for the video.

http://scoamf.us/sX

Posted by: Jimmah at April 27, 2012 07:13 AM (UpwlP)

71 The mattress is so you don't bruise the meat.

Posted by: Obumbles at April 27, 2012 10:48 AM (qBtUE)

The mattress keeps the meat from bruising.

Posted by: toby928Â© at April 27, 2012 11:01 AM (NG097)

I should read the comments.

Posted by: toby928© at April 27, 2012 07:14 AM (NG097)

72 The wife suggests it was probably Bjornermeister.

Posted by: @krak_t at April 27, 2012 07:14 AM (9QJuK)

if you're curious about the bear.

---

Is that anything like Bi-curious?

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 27, 2012 07:15 AM (SO2Q8)

Hello from your one of your devoted Aussie lurkers - well some of my family have started the big move to the US - my son in law and his Dad are on the plane right now, and they're about 3 hours from LA I reckon

After they get there, they will be organising a home, office, factory etc for their business in San Diego (they already have an office in Houston)

My daughter has decided to stay here in Sydney as she's pregnant and is a bit scared of going into prem labour in the US and being hit by a zillion $$$$ bill for health care - so she'll follow later after she has the kidlet

Your Government has made it very attractive for foreign investment - my son in law has been surprised at all the tax breaks etc being given to him - as long as he brings his Aussie $$$ with him of course!

Posted by: aussie at April 27, 2012 07:16 AM (KOh8g)

75 Where's the pic of LauraW with a tranq dart sticking out of her hump?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 27, 2012 07:17 AM (APmL9)

76 Welcome aussie family! And I'll tell you now that it's LAX, believe it or not.

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 27, 2012 07:18 AM (XdlcF)

77 So that bear Hercules threw into space DID come back!

Posted by: Armando at April 27, 2012 07:20 AM (nd0uY)

78 Crow T. Robot was right! Winged bears! Ahhh, it's the end times!

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at April 27, 2012 07:20 AM (dL3/w)

79 Awesome pic. Well done, LW and DinT!

Posted by: doc at April 27, 2012 07:20 AM (AV7xO)

80 http://tinyurl.com/739xf7t

Posted by: Armando at April 27, 2012 07:20 AM (nd0uY)

81 Pushed down like a kid wearing leg braces.

Posted by: fluffy, thread nudist at April 27, 2012 07:20 AM (z9HTb)

And probably the all time best anti-islam music video in existence. Maybe the only anti-islam video in existense. And my spell check consists of spelling existence both ways just to make sure.

http://scoamf.us/sY

Posted by: Jimmah at April 27, 2012 07:22 AM (UpwlP)

83
Factoid: Joe Biden was successfully hidden in Enterprise, and will emerge at JFK to explain how he piloted the B-747 from the space ship, and announce that O'Stinkybutt will win the election in a landslide.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 27, 2012 07:25 AM (TkGkA)

77 Oops I mistyped - fat fingers and hey, it's almost 1.30am Saturday morning! Plus a coupla drinkies after a sh*tty week at work....

Thanks for the welcome - it's really funny - this has been in the works for months and now it's for real I'm having a bit of trouble coping with the fact my daughter, hubby and future kidlet will be living in the US and not just a few kms away (shedding tears)

Now my son is making noises about going over there as he loves American girls and is convinced the future Mrs ..... is living there! His best mate married an American backpacker he met here and is now living in Chicago

Looks like I'll have to become an illegal immigrant!

Posted by: aussie at April 27, 2012 07:26 AM (KOh8g)

85 I've had mornings like that...

Posted by: The Politicl Hat at April 27, 2012 07:27 AM (DoaFB)

86 Obama has done absolutely nothing about the Levitating Bears Menace.

Posted by: eman at April 27, 2012 07:45 AM (YrBvI)

87 As if getting shot out of a tree isn't enough indignity for one bear to suffer, I was still groggy from the tranqs when I found myself in the middle of nowhere with a couple of those pesky Karelian bear dogs hell bent on chasing my sore ass up yet another tree. That's it. I am never going back to Boulder again.

Posted by: NC Mountain Girl at April 27, 2012 07:46 AM (Fglhs)

88 I'd hire ya, aussie! We had somebody come out to fix our A/C and he was speaking so softly at first, and was turned away, looking at the A/C, that it took me a minute to notice that his "southern" accent was actually Australian. (The fact that he used the word "mate" while on the phone with the office was another clue...)

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 27, 2012 07:47 AM (XdlcF)

89 I think that bear should be drug tested....it has been corrupted by the Boulder hippies...

Posted by: model_1066 at April 27, 2012 07:54 AM (YbQJm)

90 He must have been attracted to the campus by the regular menstration brought on by birth control.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at April 27, 2012 08:07 AM (Ec6wH)

89 You've found yourself a new maid/gardener/cook! I have all the right credentials - my CV is impeccable

My future grandchild will be talking with an American accent most likely as he/she will be going to school there - however as long as some Aussie words stay in the vocab I'll be happy

Posted by: aussie at April 27, 2012 08:09 AM (KOh8g)

"Red Bull gives you wings"

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 27, 2012 08:14 AM (WvXvd)

93
WHEEEEEEEEEE!

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 27, 2012 08:15 AM (ofIpS)

94 That is one Ursa F'ing major, right there.

By the way, from the back, would it look like A. Sully?

Posted by: flashbazzbo, s.e. at April 27, 2012 08:36 AM (i0rVe)

95

Just wait until they reach into my Joey pouch..heh heh heh

huh? you mean this isn't the Folsom Street Fair?

Posted by: FurrierThanYou at April 27, 2012 09:00 AM (h6XiD)

he really stuck the dismount too

Posted by: kj at April 27, 2012 09:01 AM (zdvxY)

97 Eh, laff it up morons. Greg Louganis made this shit look easy, but he didn't have cops shootin' darts in his ass.

[bear] Is that Todd Palin over there? and why is he holding a bottle of A1 steak sauce and a spork?

Posted by: FurrierThanYou at April 27, 2012 09:20 AM (h6XiD)

98 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at April 27, 2012 12:03 PM (7W3wI)

99 So Ace is a furry. Who knew.

Posted by: uncivil & right at April 27, 2012 12:42 PM (Bxl+g)

100 I hate when that happens..

Posted by: TexasJew at April 27, 2012 01:57 PM (8kWKd)

101
Why must I read about a US bear from a UK rag?

Why do they care about a US falling bear? Does life so utterly suck for them over there?

Only questions today.

Posted by: sTevo at April 27, 2012 02:38 PM (VMcEw)

102 My libertarian acquaintances are freaking out about CISPA passing the House. How do you guys feel? I could go either way, I don't really believe the government is conspiring to steal naked pictures from my hard drive.

Posted by: JDTAY at April 27, 2012 02:44 PM (sFP59)

103 Hover-bear...that's damn funny stuff

Posted by: Mudshark at April 28, 2012 01:24 PM (le6gW)

104
Formatting test - Just seeing if Pixy has done some fixing.

bold
strike
a
<span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);"k></span>

Posted by: Rodent at April 28, 2012 06:51 PM (54BjZ)

105 I don't know if it's of any help to anyone, but I did manage to suss out italic, bold, and underline.

Posted by: Bill H at April 29, 2012 10:42 PM (3sZO1)

106 Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! ItÂ’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained!

Posted by: The Serpent’s Shadow epub at May 01, 2012 03:46 PM (hkdkM)

107 Wow this is soo helpful I have been trying to figure this out on my own for a long time now. Hopefully making this change will help encourage discussion on my blog.

Posted by: My Cross to Bear iBooks at May 01, 2012 04:21 PM (uydDX)

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