Ace of Spades HQ

November 29, 2012

First Review of the Hobbit
— Ace

Or, at least, among the first reviews.

I love the Hobbit, but am not looking forward to a tight little adventure turned into a three-film epic. The first film here, by the way, is two hours fifty minutes.

It's got Radagast the Brown in it. I... I have heard the name. I'm pretty sure he's not in the Hobbit.

As fans will tell you, "That's because they've filmed the Appendices of the Lord of the Rings!!!," as if that's a good thing. Like I've been dying to see the screen adaptation of Appendix II and IV of the Lord of the Rings. Plus some footnotes from the Simarillion.

I like Martin Freeman's line readings as Bilbo, though. He sounds very annoyed.

By the way-- the third season of "Sherlock" won't air in America until 2014. Shooting has been pushed back until March, due to Freeman's (Watson's) work on The Hobbit and Cumberbach's (Sherlock's) work in Star Trek II.

Posted by: Ace at 03:07 PM | Comments (181)
Post contains 168 words, total size 1 kb.

1 The Simarillion is actually quite epic. Using The Hobbit as a frame for filming that incredible backstory that would actually be worthy of three 3-hour films.

Posted by: Huusker at November 29, 2012 03:10 PM (PaKLC)

It's hard to me to get very excited about these Hobbit movies.

No hawt human guys in them...or even elvish ones.

Posted by: wheatie at November 29, 2012 03:10 PM (CM59X)

3 Well, maybe Sherlock Holmes will show up. That would be entertaining.

Posted by: pep at November 29, 2012 03:10 PM (6TB1Z)

4 What about Tom Bombadil?!?!!?

Posted by: fluffy at November 29, 2012 03:10 PM (z9HTb)

5 Any Hobbit nudity?

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:11 PM (TYO2p)

6 The Hobbit is just a New Zealand tourism plug. Prepare accordingly.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at November 29, 2012 03:11 PM (vGtOG)

7 I've seen the trailers. They look horrible, like live-action versions of those "Brothers Hildebrandt" calendars for The Lord of the Rings. The voices and dialog don't match up with the visual atmosphere, which by itself was jarring enough. The old cartoon Hobbit was better, even with the singing.

Posted by: Looking Glass at November 29, 2012 03:12 PM (g3wOT)

8 Close bold!

Posted by: Looking Glass at November 29, 2012 03:12 PM (g3wOT)

9 2 hours and 50 minutes!? Oh gawd. I think someone made an app for potty breaks....oy.

Posted by: tasker at November 29, 2012 03:12 PM (r2PLg)

I hope the Hobbit is as good as the others.

One of the best fantasy series ever.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 29, 2012 03:12 PM (tVTLU)

11 The Hobbit is just a New Zealand tourism plug. Prepare accordingly.

Got a problem with that, Mate?

Posted by: Sir Edmund Hillary at November 29, 2012 03:13 PM (z9HTb)

12 Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 07:11 PM (TYO2p)

Eewwww.

that's almost as bad as ewok nudity.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 29, 2012 03:13 PM (GsoHv)

13 By the way-- the third season of "Sherlock" won't air in America until 2014.

Hello.

Posted by: torrents are your friend at November 29, 2012 03:13 PM (qSTJy)

14 >>>ve seen the trailers. They look horrible, like live-action versions of those "Brothers Hildebrandt" calendars for The Lord of the Rings. Well I mean I'm pretty sure they used those calendars as visual reference for the LotR, too. I preferred the cartoon of the Hobbit, too.

Posted by: ace at November 29, 2012 03:13 PM (LCRYB)

15 The guy who plays Sherlock does the voice of Smaug in the third film.

Posted by: Huusker at November 29, 2012 03:14 PM (PaKLC)

16 Shit I use to be able to work in the potato fields for 16 hours when I was a kid without ------------. Think I ruined something.

Posted by: tasker at November 29, 2012 03:14 PM (r2PLg)

17 torrents are your friend, yeahhhh... I'm aware. But even so, it won't be on the BBC until late 2013, either.

Posted by: ace at November 29, 2012 03:14 PM (LCRYB)

18 Such a great book; I've read it so many times. I am not looking forward to the movie for fear-as you do, Ace- that they will completely mess it up.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:15 PM (v8RoL)

19 >>>The guy who plays Sherlock does the voice ofSmaugin the third film. oh right I forgot that. (Or maybe I didn't know it.) And the 8th Doctor Who plays Radaghast the brown. Basically there are only 20 british actors.

Posted by: ace at November 29, 2012 03:15 PM (LCRYB)

20 I really enjoy long movies, personally, but I'm greatly afraid of what they might have done to The Hobbit. ._. Bad feeling about this one...

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at November 29, 2012 03:15 PM (9oGUt)

21 Three movies sounds like a bit much for the Hobbit, but, yeah, they're cramming some of the Simmianwallpaperrelish into it.

Fine by me. The first three have taken the place of the original Star Wars as the best genre series in cinema.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at November 29, 2012 03:15 PM (JEpGb)

22 Actually, I think Radagast was in the Hobbit. He wasn't in the Lord of the Rings (not directly portrayed, anyway).

Posted by: Bill at November 29, 2012 03:15 PM (UDPmQ)

23 Filming of Sherlock Season 3 doesn't even start until March 2013. Not sure why the delay.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:16 PM (TYO2p)

24 I don't like all the CGI cartoon stuff that I'm still supposed to be soooo impressed by. I did think Freeman's line readings were pretty funny. "I am surrounded by dwarves. *What* are they doing here."

Posted by: ace at November 29, 2012 03:16 PM (LCRYB)

25 I hope we see Brian Dennehy back as mountain #7 in Rohan.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 29, 2012 03:16 PM (b+jI9)

26 By the way-- the third season of "Sherlock" won't air in America until 2014.

So basically what you're saying is I'll have to download a pirated version off the internet after it airs in Britain in 2013 because I certainly can't wait till 2014 to find out how he faked his suicide.

Posted by: MorphysGhost at November 29, 2012 03:16 PM (tDieS)

27 Any Hobbit nudity? No . ...... Gandalf's rocking what passes for a Middle Earth trench coat tho .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 29, 2012 03:16 PM (M2+F0)

28 Radagast the Brown is being played by Sylvester McCoy, who also played the 7th Doctor in Doctor Who. That alone is reason for me to go see the film.

Posted by: The Political Hat at November 29, 2012 03:17 PM (XvHmy)

29 I haven't re-read "The Hobbit" in 40 years. Lucky for me my wife has the hardcover. I think that I will re-read it.

Posted by: Al at November 29, 2012 03:17 PM (V70Uh)

30 >>>Actually, I think Radagast was in the Hobbit. He wasn't in the Lord of the Rings (not directly portrayed, anyway). He wasn't *IN* it. Gandalf might have *mentioned* him in one of those "here's why I was conveniently absent for the last 80 pages allowing you to get into trouble and me to warp in in a surprise Saving Throw" recaps that no one cared about.

Posted by: ace at November 29, 2012 03:17 PM (LCRYB)

31 The first three have taken the place of the original Star Wars as the best genre series in cinema.

Have you actually watched the original three movies recently? They are unbelievably bad. I guess it says something about the quality of the rest of the movies of the time that they were so popular.

Posted by: pep at November 29, 2012 03:18 PM (6TB1Z)

32 The guy who plays Sherlock does the voice ofSmaugin the third film.

I'm also signed on the play Julian Assange.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1212722

Posted by: Benedict Cumberbatch at November 29, 2012 03:18 PM (z9HTb)

33 I could never get past the first movie of the "Lord of the Rings" either and just managed to watch the first two "Harry Potter films as well. Movies are rarely as enjoyable to me as the original books are.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:18 PM (v8RoL)

34 oh right the 7th doctor. I was confusing him with Paul McGann, the 8th (the "movie" doctor).

Posted by: ace at November 29, 2012 03:18 PM (LCRYB)

35 I have mild dyslexia and I was always reading it - Dildo Baggins. I was like--why in the hell is his name-- Dildo..... gawd. I even said and heard Dildo Baggins and people thought I was joking. Pretty damn embarrassing. I made up this whole story how Dildo must have been a real name like Dick or Pete.

Posted by: tasker at November 29, 2012 03:18 PM (r2PLg)

36 okay so our boycott is over?

Posted by: soothsayer at November 29, 2012 03:19 PM (eG4bU)

37 I suspect that Sherlock S3 won't air in the UK until early 2014. One weird thing (among many) in the UK is the way they market shows. They did not announce the airing of Sherlock S2 until 3 weeks before it was shown.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:19 PM (TYO2p)

38 And the 8th Doctor Who plays Radaghast the brown. Basically there are only 20 british actors. Posted by: ace at November 29, 2012 07:15 PM (LCRYB) Paul McGann was the 8th Doctor. Sylverter McCoy was the 7th, and is the one playing Radaghast the Brown

Posted by: The Political Hat at November 29, 2012 03:19 PM (XvHmy)

39 Radagast was only in LOTR indirectly - Gandalf tells the story of how Saruman sent him to tell Gandalf to come to Isengard. Radagast wasn't in the Hobbit book at all.

Posted by: LauraC at November 29, 2012 03:19 PM (NUU3Z)

40 And with that-- I'm out!

Posted by: tasker at November 29, 2012 03:20 PM (r2PLg)

41 I never "got" Dr Who.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 29, 2012 03:20 PM (b+jI9)

42 >>>Radagast wasn't in the Hobbit book at all. One of the runes on the endpaper maps mentions me, in Quenyya ("Elvish").

Posted by: Radaghast the Brown at November 29, 2012 03:20 PM (LCRYB)

43 This "we'll release it when we release it" shit with TV shows is annoying.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 29, 2012 03:21 PM (qSTJy)

44 The first three have taken the place of the original Star Wars as the best genre series in cinema. Have you actually watched the original three movies recently? They are unbelievably bad. I guess it says something about the quality of the rest of the movies of the time that they were so popular. Posted by: pep at November 29, 2012 07:18 PM (6TB1Z) Star Wars the Empire were great. Jedi was so-so. Still, 90% of everything is crud.

Posted by: The Political Hat at November 29, 2012 03:21 PM (XvHmy)

"Basically there are only 20 british actors."

Â@

Yes, but they are all better than any of ours.

Posted by: nc at November 29, 2012 03:21 PM (YvFZ3)

46 They're also filming the runes from the maps. It's a first.

Posted by: Radagast the Brown at November 29, 2012 03:21 PM (LCRYB)

47 Rhadagast was mentioned in LOTR , not The Hobbit . The books , I mean .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 29, 2012 03:21 PM (M2+F0)

48 Benedict Cumberbatch is a male lollipop -- huge head, skinny body.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:21 PM (TYO2p)

49 Dildo Baggins.

That's nothing. How'd you like to be his nephew, Fredo Baggins. He was smart, not like everybody says.

Posted by: pep at November 29, 2012 03:21 PM (6TB1Z)

50 Topic: Movies that were good, but just not as good as the books.

Ben-Hur,
To Kill a Mockingbird,
The Agony and the Ecstasy,
TLOTR
All Tom Clancy movies,
All Michael Crichton movies,

just for starters.

Posted by: Al at November 29, 2012 03:22 PM (V70Uh)

re: Radagast -

Why do you people hate everything brown?

Posted by: Maureen Dowdd at November 29, 2012 03:23 PM (h0/Fv)

52 Well, maybe Sherlock Holmes will show up. That would be entertaining.
Posted by: pep at November 29, 2012 07:10 PM (6TB1Z)

In a way he does. Cumberbatch voices Smaug.

A theater near me is showing all of the LotR movies back to back to back next Saturday. I am seriously contemplating going.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 29, 2012 03:23 PM (Gk3SS)

53 Half the actors on tv are brits faking American accents.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:23 PM (TYO2p)

54 You're correct, Ace. I've one of those nerds who has read it about 15 times. Radagast isn't in it.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:23 PM (v8RoL)

55 Yeah, but TKAM was a really good film.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:25 PM (v8RoL)

56 "As fans will tell you, "That's because they've filmed the Appendices of the Lord of the Rings!!!," as if that's a good thing. Like I've been dying to see the screen adaptation of Appendix II and IV of the Lord of the Rings. Plus some footnotes from the Simarillion."

There was actually some pretty cool stuff happening in the same timeframe as Bilbo's adventure, such as Gandalf and Galadriel attacking Sauron's fortress in Mirkwood and driving him out. I'm guessing that will be included because Galadriel is in the movie.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at November 29, 2012 03:25 PM (KSjsb)

57 A Elbereth GilthoniÃ«l silivren penna mÃriÃ«l, o menel aglar elenath! Na-chaered palan-dÃriÃ«l o galadhremmin ennorath,Fanuilos, le linnathon nef aear, sÃ nef aearon! http://youtu.be/LP01WZAkO6A

Posted by: Mædhros at November 29, 2012 03:25 PM (XvHmy)

58 >>> I am seriously contemplating going. Madness.

Posted by: soothsayer at November 29, 2012 03:25 PM (eG4bU)

59 Half the actors on tv are brits faking American accents.

Is that like Neil Patrick Harris playing a straight guy in How I Met Your Mother?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at November 29, 2012 03:25 PM (kqqGm)

60 I only liked the action scenes in the LOTR movies.I have to say,the rest was bad dialogue and boring love stories and the very strong homo erotic Frodo-Samwise stuff .

Posted by: steevy at November 29, 2012 03:25 PM (9XBK2)

61 I have a book titled "A Walk Through the Shire" copyrighted 1980 with the subtitle "Wherein we discover some rare drawings of a Hobbit Life." It's mostly blank pages with really cool artwork in the periphery.

Posted by: ErikW on the damned phone at November 29, 2012 03:25 PM (XkQL7)

62 I will go see the Hobbit sometime during December. I loved LotR. As for Dr Who, it is okay but I prefer the spin off, Torchwood. Just recently found "Fringe" on SCI channel in syndication. Interesting.

Posted by: snowcrash at November 29, 2012 03:25 PM (I30qo)

63
32 The guy who plays Sherlock does the voice of Smaug in the third film.

I'm also signed on the play Julian Assange.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1212722

Posted by: Benedict Cumberbatch at November 29, 2012 07:18 PM (z9HTb)

I'm the Internet in that play.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at November 29, 2012 03:26 PM (IDypm)

Whats what the h8ters? Its 'cause I am brown wizard right??

Posted by: Radagast in de hood at November 29, 2012 03:26 PM (YvFZ3)

65 *sigh*

Not looking forward to this for the exact same reasons... 'Hobbit' would be a fantastic prequel to the LOTR trilogy if it had just been filmed as the book describes it...

...but Jackson, having won a Best Picture Oscar for his limited tampering with LOTR probably has told himself he can screw with The Hobbit all he wants to.

And as for Cumberbatch...he's the new Khan.

That movie's going to suck too.

Posted by: Sgt. York at November 29, 2012 03:26 PM (dxSN9)

66 When I received the 4 volume set as a kid, I tried reading the Hobbit and gave up on it several times. Thank goodness I decided to skip it and read LOTR. I did eventually go back to the Hobbit, but have only read it a couple of times. Three movies for the Hobbit is silly.

Posted by: Y-not at November 29, 2012 03:26 PM (5H6zj)

67 53
Half the actors on tv are brits faking American accents.

I was watching the first Laura Croft movie yesterday because I was home sick. (Yeah, that's it, I was sick, no other reason, why do you ask?) Anyway, there was a scene with an American (AJ) doing a passable Brit accent, and a Brit doing a pretty good American accent (Daniel Craig). Jon Voight also did a Brit accent. It seems like a pretty inefficient system.

Posted by: pep at November 29, 2012 03:27 PM (6TB1Z)

68 Gotta admit, I'm not looking forward to it. I liked the earlier films, but they seem sterile compared to my own mental narrative. Plus, I'm still pissed my mind's eye Frodo has been replaced by Elijah Wood.

Posted by: Jordan at November 29, 2012 03:27 PM (1dwWo)

69 I'm sick of every fantasy and sci fi character having a fucking British(or variant) accent.And fucking Brits playing American's even.

Posted by: steevy at November 29, 2012 03:27 PM (9XBK2)

70 Farmer Giles of Ham?

Posted by: Skookumchuk at November 29, 2012 03:28 PM (0Db2g)

71 That said, I'd be interested in a movie about the Wizards. Obviously that would require someone who managed to wade through all of Tolkien's works and then somehow craft a story out of it. In other words, a real writer, not just some Hollywood adaptation type.

Posted by: Y-not at November 29, 2012 03:28 PM (5H6zj)

72 I've passed brown wizards before. Let me tell you: not fun.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at November 29, 2012 03:28 PM (IDypm)

73 I'm trying to figure out who will survived the season finale shootout on Boardwalk Empire. I should start a pool. Nucky, Capone, Luciano, Rothstein, Chalky will survive. All but Chalky are historical and they won't kill off the main black dude. Up for grabs: Richard, Julia, Margaret, Mickey Doyle, Gillian, Tommy, Gyp, Gyp's sidekick, Eddie, Eli, Eli's son, Chalky's sidekick, assorted whores. With any luck Tommy willl pick up a shotgun and kill his meema before she rapes him.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:29 PM (TYO2p)

74 "Is that like Neil Patrick Harris playing a straight guy in How I Met Your Mother?"

Or is it like Rock Hudson acting like a straight guy faking being gay?

Posted by: Al at November 29, 2012 03:29 PM (V70Uh)

75 An author who's books all made bad movies : Ernest Hemingway.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 29, 2012 03:29 PM (b+jI9)

76 <<Dildo Baggins.>>

An actual character in Harvard Lampoon's "Bored of the Rings".

One of the funniest parodies I've ever read.

Posted by: Sgt. York at November 29, 2012 03:29 PM (dxSN9)

I actually think there is ton of material in the Silmarillion that could be movie (or least miniseries) worthy.

Posted by: nc at November 29, 2012 03:30 PM (YvFZ3)

78 hah...I love how the Gollum photo caption in the article says he "makes a cameo". Maybe he can do the same in other movies, you know, like Sex and the City 3.

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at November 29, 2012 03:30 PM (Y5I9o)

79 As far as that "reimagined" Star Trek,well,it was popular with many here so I wont shit on it.

Posted by: steevy at November 29, 2012 03:30 PM (9XBK2)

80 Oh and the little dog. I don't think the little dog will make it. Terrence Winter always is killing dogs in his shows, the bastard.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:30 PM (TYO2p)

81 Or is it like Rock Hudson acting like a straight guy faking being gay?

Wheels within wheels, my friend.

Posted by: pep at November 29, 2012 03:30 PM (6TB1Z)

82 A film version of Bored of the Rings would be good.

Posted by: Y-not at November 29, 2012 03:30 PM (5H6zj)

83 Any Hobbit nudity?

They previewed the Hobbit nude scenes in Boehner's office the other day.

Posted by: NC Ref at November 29, 2012 03:31 PM (r4GeY)

84 Alexthechick, the original theatrical release versions of all three movies? Or the extended versions? If the extended, better demand a Get out of Cinema card or two to escape.

Then there will be the costumers dressed as Galadriel or Gandalf, but just think of them stuck in costume for all the movies. That should make you smile.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 29, 2012 03:31 PM (bxLgY)

85 I think Ernest Hemingway's books are bad to begin with so I can't imagine the movies would be worse; I prefer his short stories. I couldn't stand Hemingway's novels ever since I was forced to read them in high school.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:31 PM (v8RoL)

86 Three movies for the Hobbit is silly. Posted by: Y-not at November 29, 2012 07:26 PM (5H6zj) The hell you say!

Posted by: Hollywood Accountants at November 29, 2012 03:32 PM (vGtOG)

87 80 I hate when dogs(or even cats) get killed.People,well,many people I root for to die,in many cases.

Posted by: steevy at November 29, 2012 03:33 PM (9XBK2)

88 Rhadagast was mentioned in LOTR , not The Hobbit .
The books , I mean .
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 29, 2012 07:21 PM (M2+F0)

Actually he was mentioned in The Hobbit, but didn't appear in person. Gandalf mentioned that he had to meet his "cousin" Radagast.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at November 29, 2012 03:33 PM (KSjsb)

89 I didn't like the LOTR movies all that much. Already knew the story, couldn't care less about the effects. The scenery helped, but I could get that in a Nat Geo documentary. Watching them was easier than re-reading my 7th Grade Summer Books list, so I did.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 29, 2012 03:33 PM (tkoGU)

90 >>>87 80 I hate when dogs(or even cats) get killed. Me, too. In The Sopranos he had the little dog sat on. In BE, the dog was poisoned with arsenic. The other dog is now in the possession of the psychopath.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:34 PM (TYO2p)

91 The LotR appendices are lettered, not numbered. And I for one think a 3-hour discussion of E & F on the languages of Middle Earth would make a cracking good documentary.

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at November 29, 2012 03:35 PM (Y5I9o)

92 Hemmingway. " A Farewell to Arms" Ugh. That "Lost Generation" was a bunch of whiners. F. Scott Fitzgerald had similar themes.

Life is short, nasty and brutal.

Posted by: Al at November 29, 2012 03:35 PM (V70Uh)

93 Every worthless human in the Soprano's deserved death of course.

Posted by: steevy at November 29, 2012 03:35 PM (9XBK2)

94 Liv Taylor looks very cute with pointy ears.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:35 PM (TYO2p)

95 JJ Abrams idea of Star Trek. Some like it. I am not one of them so will totally skip him re-inventing Wrath of Khan after he re-booted the whole universe for a fresh start.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 29, 2012 03:36 PM (bxLgY)

96 @75 You didn't like "Personal Best" (1982)?

Posted by: Thorvald at November 29, 2012 03:36 PM (1V6Pv)

97 Hey,nobody has yet complained about a movie thread with the country falling apart.I guess because we've all decided we rather want the country to fall apart.

Posted by: steevy at November 29, 2012 03:37 PM (9XBK2)

98 "The Wrath of Khan" is my favorite. Take an old episode from the series and roll with it.

Posted by: Al at November 29, 2012 03:37 PM (V70Uh)

99 Yes, why do the dram directors feel they need to mess with the books to make it better? Just film "The Hobbit" darn it.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:37 PM (v8RoL)

100 Alexthechick, the original theatrical release versions of all three movies? Or the extended versions?

Extended versions. I believe they're doing a pass system so you can leave and come back. Oh and $1 large drinks with unlimited refills and $1 large popcorn with unlimited refills. Because what you want is a theater full of geeks who really really need to take a piss.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 29, 2012 03:38 PM (Gk3SS)

101 I hope no one posts the URL from YouTube of Leonard Nimoy singing about Bilbo Baggins.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 29, 2012 03:39 PM (bxLgY)

102 Yeah, same here Lincolntf. I found the movies too (physically) dark and I didn't like the extended battle scenes stuck in there at the expense of background development or at least including Bombadil and the barrow wights. I thought they did a piss poor job of Rohan and also of the Stealthy Green Toupees (err, Faramir).

Posted by: Y-not at November 29, 2012 03:39 PM (5H6zj)

103 "And as for Cumberbatch...he's the new Khan." I don't think he's Khan. Everyone involved in the film has denied it and the official synopsis recently released doesn't hint at him being Khan. It is more likely that he is playing Gary Mitchell (Kirk's original first officer on the series who developed near-omnipotent powers when they went through an energy field and had to be put down).

Posted by: Synnerman at November 29, 2012 03:39 PM (0Bdlg)

104 I thought two movies for The Hobbit was pushing it, though as a fan I didn't mind. A fucking trilogy though? Absurd. The Hobbit wasn't even as long as any one of tLotR books. And filling it up with Middle Earth lore will only break up what is a pretty damn excellent adventure. Oh well, I'll still see it.

Posted by: mugiwara at November 29, 2012 03:39 PM (JxXAE)

105 And Bilbo was raped by a bull queer in the laundyroom. Ohhh, Bilbo.

Posted by: Morgan Freeman Martin at November 29, 2012 03:39 PM (qs9G3)

106 That would be a good book thread, Ace. What do people like to read when they're stuck in bed and feeling rotten or depressed? That's probably why I have read it so many times. I have "comfort books" like other people have comfort foods.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:39 PM (v8RoL)

107 97, musicals involving the wealthy were very popular during the Great Depression. It's called escape. and cognitive dissonance.

Posted by: Al at November 29, 2012 03:39 PM (V70Uh)

108 76 <<Dildo Baggins.>>

An actual character in Harvard Lampoon's "Bored of the Rings".

One of the funniest parodies I've ever read.

Close. It was Dildo Bugger.

You're right about it being one of the funniest things ever written.

Dildo fires his pistol into the dark after the fleeing Goddam. But pity stayed his hand...."It's a pity I've no more bullets."

Posted by: Pious Agnostic at November 29, 2012 03:40 PM (PpLfy)

109 >>>Cumberbach's (Sherlock's) work in Star Trek II.

Apprently Cumberbach is also playing the Necromancer (Sauron) in The Hobbit. At least according to IMBD

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at November 29, 2012 03:40 PM (0q2P7)

110 Is that the Sherlock on PBS?

Posted by: Butters at November 29, 2012 03:40 PM (NIZHJ)

111 Alexthechick, bring a camera to film the audience. Make a mint. Hobbit Zombies of the Apocalypse.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 29, 2012 03:40 PM (bxLgY)

112 53 Half the actors on tv are brits faking American accents. Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 07:23 PM (TYO2p) Or Aussies faking American accents. Does anyone know if Anna Torv is single?

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at November 29, 2012 03:40 PM (atlWY)

113 >>>such as Gandalf and Galadriel attacking Sauron's fortress in Mirkwood and driving him out. I'm guessing that will be included because Galadriel is in the movie.

Since Cumberbach is cast as the Necromancer I would give that a yes.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at November 29, 2012 03:41 PM (0q2P7)

114 Bilbo is the "Hitchhiker" from the "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". Just saying....

Posted by: annemari at November 29, 2012 03:42 PM (+ppaM)

115 I think one of the British actors actually doing a good American accent is the guy from "House".

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:43 PM (v8RoL)

116 107 Rich people were either the bad guys or becoame "enlightened" by experiencing poverty.Class war was an FDR(Democrat) staple.

Posted by: steevy at November 29, 2012 03:43 PM (9XBK2)

117 Yes, why do the dram directors feel they need to mess with the books to make it better? Just film"The Hobbit" darn it. Problem is, everybody in the audience would be eligible for a Senior Citizen Discount by the time the closing credits rolled.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at November 29, 2012 03:43 PM (X9Mnx)

118 >>>110 Is that the Sherlock on PBS? Yes.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:44 PM (TYO2p)

119 PBS only makes about three Sherlocks per year.

Posted by: Butters at November 29, 2012 03:44 PM (NIZHJ)

120 I loved the "Topper" series. Rich couple get loaded and the die by crashing their car into a tree. They come back as ghosts to help stodgy Leo Carroll get "with it."

Drunk driving just isn't as glamorous as it used to be.

Posted by: Al at November 29, 2012 03:45 PM (V70Uh)

121 Gervais and Laurie and Fry are huge brit snobs, wouldn't sell out to Hwd, wouldn't live in LA, but here they are... and they are fucking rich because of it. Many many many millions of dollars they amassed due to dirty dirty Hwd. assholes.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:45 PM (TYO2p)

122 I don't mean film the entire thing. I just mean don't add characters and scenes that are not in the actual book.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:46 PM (v8RoL)

123 Yes, why do the dram directors feel they need to mess with the books to make it better? Just film "The Hobbit" darn it.Posted by: FenelonSpoke

Mostly because films aren't novels. A script is much more demanding in terms of structure and pace. In a movie, particularly a genre piece, you need to have all the elements of a heroic journey almost timed to the minute, and you only have 120 minutes for the average flick to get it done.

In a novel you can fuck around describing a fucking chair for 10 pages like Hawthorne. You don't have to use the heroic journey as a frame either. Novelists can be extraordinarily sloppy in structure and still end up with a great book.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at November 29, 2012 03:46 PM (JEpGb)

124 Oh Lord with these stupid coaching ploys.Rutgers players all wearing "F.A.M.I.L.Y" on their jersey's instead of their names.I hope they lose by a metric shit ton.

Posted by: steevy at November 29, 2012 03:46 PM (9XBK2)

125 115 I think one of the British actors actually doing a good American accent is the guy from "House". Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 07:43 PM (v8RoL) --Also Idris Elba from The Office and The Wire.

Posted by: logprof at November 29, 2012 03:46 PM (gBuIk)

126 >>>120 I loved the "Topper" series. Rich couple get loaded and the die by crashing their car into a tree. They come back as ghosts to help stodgy Leo Carroll get "with it." Drunk driving just isn't as glamorous as it used to be. Posted by: Al Even dead they never sobered up. They were always drinking.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:47 PM (TYO2p)

127 Wow Alexthechick. I just looked it up on Cinemark's web-site. Dec 8th and 9th, a Middle Earth overdose.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 29, 2012 03:48 PM (bxLgY)

128 Theological question:

If you die drunk, does your soul spend eternity drunk?

Posted by: Al at November 29, 2012 03:48 PM (V70Uh)

129 Al depends upon the hell in Buddhism the spirit thinks is appropriate for them in the after life.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 29, 2012 03:49 PM (bxLgY)

130 For instance, I thought it was somebody on here that said Bilbo and Gollum have a sword fight in the film? WTH is that all about?!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 29, 2012 03:50 PM (v8RoL)

131 Weft-cut, one of my friends is an aspiring screenwriter. When he described the (pretty much) iron-clad rules governing what makes a saleable script I was a bit taken aback. Totally different animal.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 29, 2012 03:50 PM (tkoGU)

132 "tight little adventure" I mean the story itself was tight, but he certainly did leave things in the book that caused one to wonder beyond just the things that were put in the book. He put the Necromancer in the book w/o resolving it, leaving it open for future stories. Same with the ring. I think it's ok if the movie strays a bit and gets into some of the side adventures that, while they weren't specifically dealt with in the book, you knew something outside of this little story was going on.

Posted by: Rich at November 29, 2012 03:52 PM (arczc)

133 If you die drunk, does your soul spend eternity drunk?

I wish...

Posted by: Ted Kennedy posting live from Hell at November 29, 2012 03:52 PM (IDypm)

134 These are all Brit actors playing Americans: Hugh Laurie Idris Elba Damian Lewis David Harewood Rupert Friend Lennie James Andrew Lincoln David Morrissey I didn't even count those who keep their Brit accent. Then there is the aussie from the Mentalist.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:53 PM (TYO2p)

135 61 It's mostly blank pages with really cool artwork in the periphery. ----------- Was it done by Sergio Wossname, the fellow who did the little cartoons in the margins of Mad magazine?

Posted by: Citizen Anachronda at November 29, 2012 03:53 PM (IrbU4)

136 Aside from all that, how does Andrew Breitbart's Father-in-Law figure into the trilogy?

Posted by: Minuteman at November 29, 2012 03:53 PM (qs9G3)

137 >>>Yes, why do the dram directors feel they need to mess with the books to make it better? Just film "The Hobbit" darn it.

How do you film an appendix for theater consumption? Leave it out entirely? Tolkien knew his books lacked a lot of explanation (somewhat of a paradox given the amount of explanation he put into the stories, but nonetheless true) about so many events and things linking the broader story arcs. Which is why he wrote so much supplementary material.

The question is, do you leave it out and give your audience a disjunction between the two stories, or put it in, and muddle The Hobbit which is supposed to be rather stream lined.

I await to see the results. I just hope he avoids the prequel trap.

HEY STUPID HEAD LUCAS, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS DARTH VADER UNTIL EPISODE V. IDIOT

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at November 29, 2012 03:53 PM (0q2P7)

138 131 I think they fight and someone gets bit, but I read this too long ago to remember. Thirty years?

Posted by: Butters at November 29, 2012 03:53 PM (NIZHJ)

139 >>>If you die drunk, does your soul spend eternity drunk? Posted by: Al On Topper they were always helping themselves to the booze, so theoretically, the dead can dry out.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 29, 2012 03:54 PM (TYO2p)

140 From Amazon Studious script contest last year - Touching Blue
http://studios.amazon.com/scripts/13168

An idea of a script. And someone making a short film from it.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 29, 2012 03:55 PM (bxLgY)

141 Ugh. Now I don't think I want to see this. Jackson did a terrible job with King Kong, so bloated it's virtually unwatchable.

Posted by: LR at November 29, 2012 04:04 PM (cdYeu)

142 "I mean the story itself was tight, but he certainly did leave things in the book that caused one to wonder beyond just the things that were put in the book. He put the Necromancer in the book w/o resolving it, leaving it open for future stories." He actually wrote the Hobbit without having the larger Ring story in mind. Originally Bilbo beat Gollum, and Gollum GAVE HIM a magic ring as a prize, and then tried to rob him, but Bilbo leapt over him and ran away. When Gandalf decided to make it THE RING, then he had to rewrite. Now the transfer occurs because the Ring chose a more ambulatory bearer than troglodyte Gollum - and the original version was retconned into a lie Bilbo told under the Ring's influence. My parents have a children's anthology with the orignal Riddle Contest in it. Need to store that in a vault somewhere, it'll be worth something.

Posted by: Chris Balsz at November 29, 2012 04:12 PM (3GtyG)

143 "If you die drunk, does your soul spend eternity drunk?" One of the characters in the Red Dwarf books had hi personality recorded while he was hung over, so he was stuck with that permanently.

Posted by: Eorwax of Rohan at November 29, 2012 04:12 PM (y4eis)

144 erk. Tolkien not Gandalf. Though of course, Gandalf is me!

Posted by: Chris Balsz at November 29, 2012 04:13 PM (3GtyG)

145 93 Yes they did but I was always sad when they did. They were so deliciously and unapologetically evil.

Posted by: Tuna at November 29, 2012 04:13 PM (M/TDA)

146 Old dirty /b/tard is right. I'm rereading it now (probably in lieu of seeing the movie or it in anticipation of hating it) and Gandalf mentions Radagast to the werebear, Beorn. Beorn reprovisions the dwarves after their mishaps in the Misty Mountains.

Posted by: moviegique at November 29, 2012 04:14 PM (Cepxj)

147 114 He's also the soft porn actor in that awful "Love, Actually"

Posted by: Tuna at November 29, 2012 04:20 PM (M/TDA)

148 Is this thing on?

Posted by: Tom Burt and Bill at November 29, 2012 04:20 PM (NIZHJ)

149

It's time to think of the next release of Freeman's or Cumerbach's work as a fine wine. Best appreciated after all they hype. And it will be on again.

You don't need to see it now. You don't need to see it now.

Posted by: Jack at November 29, 2012 04:28 PM (wUFaM)

150 Hey Ace get off your Eeyore. Don't try and ruin this.

Posted by: Wodun at November 29, 2012 04:28 PM (PEpU8)

151

9 hours of the Hobbit? Might as well hike the Apalachian Trail.

Movies are supposed to be fun. Not an endurance test.

Posted by: Jack at November 29, 2012 04:31 PM (wUFaM)

152 Pass. Jackson indulges himself too frequently at the cost of the story. No point in paying that much to see something I know will irritate the crap out of me.

Posted by: Klawnet at November 29, 2012 04:33 PM (AYfPj)

153 F*ck The Hobbit and f*ck Peter Jackson. I'm sick of these turgid CGI molestations of Tolkien.

Posted by: rrpjr at November 29, 2012 04:51 PM (KfMvZ)

154 The only thing worth a shit about this was watching the RiffTrax version

Posted by: TexasJew at November 29, 2012 04:52 PM (lD8ju)

155 I'll watch when it has Dildo Bugger

Posted by: TexasJew at November 29, 2012 04:53 PM (lD8ju)

156 Great Nine hours of Keebler elves

Posted by: TexasJew at November 29, 2012 04:54 PM (lD8ju)

157 It's got Radagast the Brown in it. I... I have heard the name. I'm pretty sure he's not in the Hobbit.

Doesn't fucking matter. It's got the Seventh fucking Doctor in it. Shut the fuck up. Do not anger the benevolent gods of geekdom.

Posted by: MadisonConservative at November 29, 2012 04:58 PM (sb+ta)

158 We represent the lollipop guild.

Posted by: Stumpy at November 29, 2012 04:58 PM (NIZHJ)

159 Radagast was a member of the White Council ya bozos. Necromancer, Dol Guldur and all that shit. It was referred in The Hobbit as Gandalf's "other business." There are more direct references to prior ages in The Hobbit than in LOTR. That's how you get 3 movies out of the book.

Posted by: butternut at November 29, 2012 05:00 PM (nbYoV)

160 turgid? OK, is it because I wear brown?

Posted by: Radaghast the Brown at November 29, 2012 05:02 PM (9eDbm)

161 In Idris Elba's defence, most of the roles I've seen him in have him as non-American. Non-Earthling, in fact. Like when he played The Whitest Of The Gods in "Thor".

Posted by: boulder hobo at November 29, 2012 05:04 PM (QTHTd)

162 Nerds!

Posted by: eman at November 29, 2012 05:04 PM (57VGh)

163 Let me guess. There's a quest. A band of unlikely heroes. Good magic. Bad magic. Monstery things. An evil ring. Lots of walking. Weird names. Long beards and mead aplenty.

Posted by: eman at November 29, 2012 05:07 PM (57VGh)

164 Me and my dad can't wait, have our midnight showing tickets in hand

Posted by: The Dude at November 29, 2012 05:07 PM (tw6Ar)

165 7 I've seen the trailers. They look horrible, like live-action versions of those "Brothers Hildebrandt" calendars for The Lord of the Rings.

The voices and dialog don't match up with the visual atmosphere, which by itself was jarring enough. The old cartoon Hobbit was better, even with the singing.

Posted by: Looking Glass at November 29, 2012 07:12 PM (g3wOT)

Fucking idiots are fucking idiots. No wonder we lost to barack obama.

Posted by: jeremiah God Damn Barack Obama the Mother Fucking SCoaMF wright at November 29, 2012 05:07 PM (ovpNn)

166 Posted by: boulder hobo at November 29, 2012 09:04 PM (QTHTd) As much as I really like Irba as an actor, dude did a bad job at a Texan draw in Prometheus

Posted by: The Dude at November 29, 2012 05:09 PM (tw6Ar)

167 Mitt Romney has a cameo as the Mormon King. He balances all the hero's checkbooks before they go on their quest.

Posted by: eman at November 29, 2012 05:10 PM (57VGh)

168 Dude: Prometheus was a shit movie anyway, Idris Elba was the least of its problems.

Posted by: boulder hobo at November 29, 2012 05:13 PM (QTHTd)

169 Mitt Romney has a cameo as the Mormon King.

Yeah. He confronts Sauron the Necromancer by making a speech to the Orcs that the Dark Lord's economic system is unsustainable.

Posted by: boulder hobo at November 29, 2012 05:15 PM (QTHTd)

170 #121 Walkers! wrote, Gervais and Laurie and Fry are huge brit snobs, wouldn't sell out to Hwd, wouldn't live in LA, but here they are... and they are fucking rich because of it. Many many many millions of dollars they amassed due to dirty dirty Hwd. It's not just the money in Hollywood, it's the much lower taxes. Almost every great British performer fled to another country so they could keep a little more of what they earned. The Beatles wrote Taxman based on personal experience.

Posted by: Looking Glass at November 29, 2012 05:16 PM (g3wOT)

171 168 Dude: Prometheus was a shit movie anyway, Idris Elba was the least of its problems. Posted by: boulder hobo at November 29, 2012 09:13 PM (QTHTd) Though I would rather have the Scott/Cameron joint project both of them tried to sell to Fox, I actually liked Prometheus ( the outstanding 3D didn't hurt either)

Posted by: The Dude at November 29, 2012 05:17 PM (tw6Ar)

172 The old cartoon Hobbit was better, even with the singing. Where there's a whip, there's a way! (I know, it's from the cartoon Ring

Posted by: Fox2! at November 29, 2012 05:29 PM (1Qpmy)

173 I do not care what everyone else says. I am excited to see these. I don't even care that there are three. Everything else in the theatre is complete abd utter shite these days. And I love Martin freeman and I liked lord of the rings and if you all are going to be like LIB then I'm going down watching the hobbit and enjoying myself. Then I'm going to go see les mis. Then I'm moving to New Zealand.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 29, 2012 05:35 PM (oU9pV)

174 The Hobbit looks like it's going to be a truly great film. Despite what Ace says, the book is not a "tight"= little adventure", it's a pretty packed epic--a fact I hadn't realized until I re-read the book very recently. It's basically 3 adventures--the misty mountains, Mirkwood, and Smaug and the aftermath. Also Ace pretty much makes it clear he's never even read the appendices to Lord of the Rings. Half of them are basically short stores, while the others are like more traditional appendices. For instance, we get the story of what Aragorn did before he shows up as Strider (Among other things, he rose in the ranks of Gondor's army to become a an honored captain before refusing further accolades and returning to the north.) We learn about Aragorn's children and how Arwen dies after a long life (but not endless, since she gave that up.) Going back to the Hobbit, Gandalf basically flitters in and out doing important things that are referenced to give his comings and goings more weight (and some justification for removing a character from the plot who could single handedly resolve some of the conflicts). At least 3 times the book mentions how dangerous and scary it was for Gandalf going off to deal with the necromancer. It will be really nice to see that portrayed in the movie. And also remember the Hobbit was written before LotR, but we are seeing it after reading and seeing LotR, so a lot of things that could be ignored or glossed over in the Hobbit (because the reader is totally ignorant of them) have to be dealt with in the movie. In other words, if Tolkein had written a version of the Hobbit for people who had already read LotR, and new about the importance of the ring, mirkwood (where Sauron was killed and being reconstituted), etc he would have talked about those things too. TL;DR The Hobbit is going to be awesome; don't listen to Ace.

Posted by: Nessuno at November 29, 2012 05:46 PM (KBh73)

175 I think the first Hobbit will be awesome. I am worried it will fall off at the end.

Jackson's FotR was great. Jackson's TTT was epic. Jackson's RotK was a failure.

The Lord of the Rings mess might be because Tolkien himself didn't end his series properly.

Posted by: Simon Abney-Hastings at November 29, 2012 05:50 PM (QTHTd)

176 sigh, sock.

Posted by: boulder hobo at November 29, 2012 05:51 PM (QTHTd)

177 I want to see how Jackson maintains his "Legolas son of the woodland king is impervious to alcohol" invention (cf. the deplorable Edoras Drinking Game scene with Gimli). Bilbo's escape plan from Thranduil's dungeon depended entirely on Silvan elves getting drunk...

Posted by: BoomerVF14 at November 29, 2012 05:51 PM (uHmCG)

178 BoomerVF14, a close reading of the Hobbit and LotR will uncover more inconsistencies by Tolkein, I'm afraid.

Posted by: Nessuno at November 29, 2012 06:00 PM (KBh73)

179 Granted, that's most keenly evident in the silliness of Elrond's clan in in The Hobbit. My beef is with Jackson's apocryphal drinking game scene, which added nothing to the Return of the King plot back in 2003, contradicted The Hobbit regarding Elves' tolerance of alcohol.

Posted by: BoomerVF14 at November 29, 2012 06:42 PM (uHmCG)

180 "It's got Radagast the Brown in it. I... I have heard the name"

I think he is. He just stops by to tell Gandalf that there is a necromancer in the mirkwood forest (he later turns out to be Sauron).

Posted by: Kevin at November 29, 2012 07:45 PM (ufexm)

181 I am still pissed that the Scouring of the Shire didn't make it into the last series. That was the best part. I'm sure there's no way to squeeze it into the Hobbit either.

Posted by: John Skookum at November 30, 2012 05:55 AM (AjzSk)

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