Ace of Spades HQ

December 05, 2012

Going On Vacation Next Week
— Ace

I'm reaching out to some folks to help cover my absence. If you'd like to do so, please email me.

Although I will check in on the blog, to the extent I do anything it will be of the maintenance level. If there isn't a post for hours, I might put up an open thread or just a link to something else, just to keep the blog from flatlining in between the morning headline post and ONT. But that'll about be it.

But I do need some time away (you may notice that from my awful output lately) and so the blog might be pretty quiet for nine days. Hopefully it'll be nice and busy with cobloggers and guest posters. I'm a little worried on that front, though, because if people are feeling like I'm feeling, I'm thinking they might need a break too.

To add something to this post: Governor Cuomo of New York is apparently competing with Dave In Texas for the Crap Tree Trophy. What the hell is this? And why is there a silver tiger and sliver leopard apparently guarding this abomination?

Are they afraid someone would steal this tree, if it weren't guarded by Christmas Tigers?

In related news, Bob Guccione just called, he wants his sense of style back.

Posted by: Ace at 11:42 AM | Comments (379)
Post contains 225 words, total size 1 kb.

9 days???????

What am I supposed to do at work?

Posted by: Trey at December 05, 2012 11:44 AM (nqN6l)

Have a great time and unwind if you can

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at December 05, 2012 11:44 AM (R8hU8)

3 Enjoy, but I have to say that your phoning-it-in is better than 90% of the intarwebs. /end suckup

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 05, 2012 11:45 AM (QupBk)

4 You know what I'm doing next week?.....'Batin'

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at December 05, 2012 11:45 AM (SkyIE)

5 Well deserved. Going anyplace interesting?

Posted by: angler at December 05, 2012 11:45 AM (SwjAj)

6 Fuck the SCOAMF. He's put me into a depression too, and I haven't been able to shake the horrifying prospect of four more years of this shit.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 05, 2012 11:45 AM (QKKT0)

7 Thanks again for a great blog, Ace! Enjoy yourself, and may you return tanned, rested, and ready.

Posted by: Thorvald at December 05, 2012 11:46 AM (1V6Pv)

8 Polishing your iron is very soothing.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 05, 2012 11:46 AM (QupBk)

9 Sorry Ace, I'd be willing to try to help any other time of the year, but for work it is SUPER busy right now so that's about all I've been doing.

Posted by: Evil_Bun_Bun at December 05, 2012 11:47 AM (LrVrO)

This is what happens when you're sleeping with Sandra Lee. I'm just surprised there isn't more raffia.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 11:47 AM (4df7R)

11 What the hell is THAT?! It looks like a job for the Ghostbusters.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 05, 2012 11:47 AM (QupBk)

12 >>>Going anyplace interesting? nah. Last minute decision. I never really schedule these things well. I might try to take a day trip or something. I don't know where.

Posted by: ace at December 05, 2012 11:48 AM (LCRYB)

13 If the cob-loggers would like to provide an email address, I'd be happy to mine for content and help out a bit.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 05, 2012 11:48 AM (piMMO)

14 Holy shit! Is that a unicorn???

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 11:48 AM (iYbLN)

15 It slimed me.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 05, 2012 11:48 AM (QupBk)

There's PWT, then there's EWT. (E = elevated).

Sandra Lee, creator of the Kwanzaa Cake and EWT Princess extraordinaire, brings you her latest holiday creation.

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 11:48 AM (jm/9g)

17 But but New YAWK is TEh Capitahl of Faahshun!!

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 05, 2012 11:48 AM (08zV/)

18 >>>If the cob-loggers would like to provide an email address, I'd be happy to mine for content and help out a bit. cool. we used to have a Morontips@gmail.com account; i'll see if anyone still has the password for that.

Posted by: ace at December 05, 2012 11:49 AM (LCRYB)

19 Come visit me! The sex will be bad, but I promise I won't file charges !!!!!

Posted by: Lynette Lee ( porcine in TN ) at December 05, 2012 11:49 AM (Dll6b)

20 Cuomo kind of looks like Guccione, doesn't he?

Posted by: Mike Jonze at December 05, 2012 11:50 AM (epWQP)

21 I sent you an e-mail Ace.

Posted by: Vic at December 05, 2012 11:50 AM (YdQQY)

22 It looks like one of those trees in Australia where millions of spiders live!! ~~~waves at AtC~~~~

Posted by: Navycopjoe at December 05, 2012 11:50 AM (WnvXh)

23 I might try to take a day trip or something. I don't know where. Posted by: ace at December 05, 2012 03:48 PM (LCRYB)

If you want calm, check out Cape Cod this time of year, specifically, Brewster. It's a good day trip. No tourists and you have the beaches to yourself for walking.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 05, 2012 11:50 AM (sbV1u)

24 It looks like a lefties' idea of the core of a nuclear reactor.

Posted by: pep at December 05, 2012 11:50 AM (6TB1Z)

25 I sense the residuum of a Christmas Tree whose children were mauled by great cats, and then she hanged herself in the garage.

Posted by: A Psychic Investigator at December 05, 2012 11:50 AM (LCRYB)

26 Ace is flying over to Dutchland to check out that new "scum village". He's going to apply for the job of Overseer.

Posted by: EC at December 05, 2012 11:50 AM (GQ8sn)

Have a great vacation, ace. We'll do our best not to break the blog (again) so that it will be bright and shining and ready for action when you get back.

I think we need a week's worth of posts that have absolutely NOTHING to do with politics. Sure, there would be posts sprinkled throughout the week that would deal with emerging or developing stories. But I'm totally down with the LauraW style of things -- crazy criminal cases that prove there is nothing so bizaare that humans will not have sex with it.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 11:50 AM (4df7R)

28 In related news, Bob Guccione just called, he wants his sense of style back.

You can keep it.
I'm dead.

Posted by: Bob Guccione at December 05, 2012 11:51 AM (mETGQ)

29 Someone ate a big bag of marshmallows chased it with a bottle of vodka and some tinsel then vomited.

What's with the fucking leopard or tiger? Is Cuomo Jooish?

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 11:51 AM (iYbLN)

30 Is he the one banging Sandra Lee? I bet the cocktails and appetizers and her apron match the tree.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 05, 2012 11:51 AM (Pa+5i)

31 Why don't you visit Steve in hb in sunny California?

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 11:51 AM (e/Cti)

32 "I'm reaching out to some folks to help cover my absence. If you'd like to do so, please email me." And be put on the list?!? --- The FBI records the emails of nearly all US citizens, including members of congress, according to NSA whistleblower William Binney. In an interview with RT, he warned that the government can use this information against anyone. Binney, one of the best mathematicians and code breakers in the history of the National Security Agency, resigned in 2001. He claimed he no longer wanted to be associated with alleged violations of the Constitution, such as how the FBI engages in widespread and pervasive surveillance through powerful devices called 'Naris.' http://tinyurl.com/cdlmda2

Posted by: RWC at December 05, 2012 11:51 AM (fWAjv)

33 >>If you want calm, check out Cape Cod this time of year, specifically, Brewster.

Chatham is pretty cool, too.

Posted by: angler at December 05, 2012 11:51 AM (SwjAj)

34 >>>f you want calm, check out Cape Cod this time of year, specifically, Brewster. It's a good day trip. No tourists and you have the beaches to yourself for walking. ehhh... I have rule against travel to places which are also cold as f***.

Posted by: ace at December 05, 2012 11:51 AM (LCRYB)

35 Hobo safari?

Posted by: eastvalleyphx at December 05, 2012 11:52 AM (GRvW4)

36 Nothing to steal in that house expect bad taste.

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 11:52 AM (iYbLN)

When Sandra Lee was little, someone forgot to hit her with the Good Taste Stick.

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 11:52 AM (jm/9g)

38 Damn. Looks like they fed a truckload of cheesy ornaments and fiberglass batting to Godzilla and he shate that thing out.

Posted by: maddogg at December 05, 2012 11:52 AM (OlN4e)

I'm pretty sure that't actually the Ghost of Christmas Future.

Common mistake.

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at December 05, 2012 11:52 AM (ZMzpb)

40 I say let's make every day a crossbows vs. longbows day!

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 11:52 AM (e/Cti)

41 What the hell kind of holiday do they celebrate at the Cuomo house? Yikes.

Posted by: Fritz at December 05, 2012 11:53 AM (/ZZCn)

42 @StewSays The Dem Majority Leader objects to Sen. McConnell's request to hold a vote on the President's tax hike/debt ceiling proposal. #FiscalCliff

Posted by: 80sBaby at December 05, 2012 11:53 AM (YjDyJ)

43 We'll try not to break the blog while you're gone. Oh, wait...

Posted by: rickl at December 05, 2012 11:54 AM (zoehZ)

44 34. You can come here Santa arrives on his surfboard Saturday at five

Posted by: Navycopjoe at December 05, 2012 11:54 AM (WnvXh)

45 That tree is awfully white.

Posted by: Chris Matthews, Racial Dogwhistle Detector at December 05, 2012 11:54 AM (QKKT0)

46 If you want calm, check out Cape Cod this time of year, specifically, Brewster. Amity means Friendship!

Posted by: Larry Vaughn at December 05, 2012 11:54 AM (QupBk)

47 that tree is exactly how I would picture the 'Jersey Shore' christmas episode.

Posted by: cu'chulainn at December 05, 2012 11:54 AM (Vk2CC)

48 ehhh... I have rule against travel to places which are also cold as f***. Posted by: ace at December 05, 2012 03:51 PM (LCRYB)

There's no such thing as bad weather, Ace. Only bad gear.

I like it in the winter because it's quiet. But my (warmer) suggestion to you would be to hit Charleston, SC, but I don't think that's a day trip for you.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 05, 2012 11:54 AM (sbV1u)

49 Ace, hope you have a restful and restorative break. I'll look forward to your return.

Posted by: Mindy at December 05, 2012 11:55 AM (6jLT3)

50 I actually wouldn't mind the all-white tree (RACISSST! btw) with the silver ornaments if not for the Great Cat Guardians in front of it. It takes it from boring and sterile to something out of The Shining.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 11:55 AM (4df7R)

51 >>ehhh... I have rule against travel to places which are also cold as f***.

I would highly recommend Turks & Caicos. Short flight. Relatively cheap. Warm.

Posted by: angler at December 05, 2012 11:55 AM (SwjAj)

52 They gutted Gulfax and turned him into a tree!

Posted by: Shoot Me at December 05, 2012 11:55 AM (qiXMt)

53 If Cuomo took a shit on that tree it would still look better than Dave's.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 05, 2012 11:55 AM (b+jI9)

54 Looks like acrylic fiber (think carpet) waste.

Posted by: BignJames at December 05, 2012 11:55 AM (Sg0G/)

55 If I squint at the picture of the tree, I can see a smiley face. That, or the she-demon from "Raiders of the Lost Ark".

Posted by: nip at December 05, 2012 11:55 AM (11Tdq)

ace, that is NOT a leopard guarding my fabulous creation with my stupendous to-die-for Holiday Tiger!

IT IS A SLEIGH

Nice try, but come back when you know about Fine artistry, pls.

Posted by: Sandra Lee, what knows them colored folks like Kwanzaa Cake at December 05, 2012 11:55 AM (jm/9g)

57 It made it to 74Â° here today. But we had a few days last week when it was colder here than NYC where Ace is.

Posted by: Vic at December 05, 2012 11:56 AM (YdQQY)

58 I like the saucy way the tiger's front paws are crossed. He's saying "bitch, please I've got it going' on" Have a lovely vacation ace.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at December 05, 2012 11:57 AM (RZ8pf)

59 While Ace is gone, maybe one of the cobloggers could help with fixing the site. Maybe do a dedicated "blog-improvement" bleg. I can't guess how much money Ace has lost by having such a new-user unfriendly site. There is no greater lameness than recommending a "great site" for conservatives just to have all the recommendees come back with "...my 3rd Grader just made a better site at Montessori, hyperlinks and all!".

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 05, 2012 11:57 AM (tkoGU)

60 I wish Ace gets his brains fucked out. Isn't that restorative?????

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 11:57 AM (e/Cti)

61 We've awarded the Cuomo tree a rating of R-19.

Posted by: The American Society of Heating, Refrigerating and Air Conditioning Engineers at December 05, 2012 11:57 AM (QKKT0)

Holy shit! Is that a unicorn???

Yes, it is.

Posted by: fluffy at December 05, 2012 11:57 AM (O6q63)

63 Wow, my fiber-optic/LED "Disco" tree looks way better than that!

Posted by: Iblis at December 05, 2012 11:57 AM (9221z)

64 How a pimp decorates for Christmas.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at December 05, 2012 11:58 AM (QXlbZ)

65 @StewSays The Dem Majority Leader objects to Sen. McConnell's request to hold a vote on the President's tax hike/debt ceiling proposal. #FiscalCliff

Reminds me of the best thing the PAGOP did to Ed Rendell years ago.

They passed his budget.

He immediately vetoed it.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 05, 2012 11:58 AM (T0NGe)

66 I call this piece, "Shredded Asbestos," or alternatively, "Tits Up in the Neighbor's Drift."

Posted by: Andrew C at December 05, 2012 11:58 AM (/ZZCn)

You deserve a break, Ace - we'll miss you, but I certainly understand the need to step away (I'm just now hitting political blogs again).

If it'll help, I've got "25 Days of Christmas Music" over at my place - you are more than welcome to copy them and post them here. They're repeats from last year - I didn't have the energy to post anything new after the election.

If you need anything, let us know - you are loved, yannow.....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at December 05, 2012 11:58 AM (XjXIN)

Vaaction? I assume that means a case of vodka, lock the doors, and turn the phone off kind of vacation.... heh

Posted by: brak at December 05, 2012 11:58 AM (M2qTM)

69 That tree looks like something that happens when someone has an idea that looks good in their head, but has no actual capability to make it happen. It's a Dunning-Kruger tree.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at December 05, 2012 11:58 AM (bxiXv)

70
GOVERNOR! The blogging is coming from INSIDE YOUR HOUSE!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 05, 2012 11:59 AM (n/ubI)

71 Oh, I get it. The tree was decorated ironically. Cuomo's gone hipster.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 05, 2012 11:59 AM (+lsX1)

72 "Going On Vacation Next Week"

How can anyone tell?

Posted by: Longtime Fan at December 05, 2012 11:59 AM (d4ZzM)

73 I wish Ace gets his brains fucked out. Isn't that restorative?????

Absolutely.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 11:59 AM (/kI1Q)

74 My Christmas Kitteh Wallpaper from yesterday was better than those tigers

http://is.gd/ydvgcO

Posted by: Vic at December 05, 2012 12:00 PM (YdQQY)

75 He claimed he no longer wanted to be associated with alleged violations of the Constitution, such as how the FBI engages in widespread and pervasive surveillance through powerful devices called 'Naris.' If your number comes up, we will find you.

Posted by: Harold Finch at December 05, 2012 12:00 PM (B/VB5)

The thing I hate about trees like this is you just KNOW all the ornaments are new, right out of the box, and were bought SPECIFICALLY for this particular tree. My Christmas tree at home has ornaments on it that date back to before I was born. That date back to my GRANDPARENTS' tree. Almost every one of them is connected to some memory. Bringng them out and putting them up every year is like saying hello to old friends.

But this? This is just... *waves hand dismissively* Booooring.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 12:00 PM (4df7R)

77 So where did all the trolls go? Were they banned?

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 12:00 PM (e/Cti)

78 I like it in the winter because it's quiet. But my (warmer) suggestion to you would be to hit Charleston, SC, but I don't think that's a day trip for you. Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 05, 2012 03:54 PM (sbV1u) --------------------------------------------------------- Quiet....... and face shattering cold. I grew up in MN and do not go back there unless it's May thru October .

Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 05, 2012 12:00 PM (jucos)

79 Also, since it's kind of an OT - there was a study years ago of inside-the-beltway vs. outside-the-beltway political positions showing that both parties were more pro-government inside the beltway than out - and I can't find the damned thing anywhere because I don't remember the names or institution. The intarwebs is swamped with the terms on other things (like some british study of sweden), Did anyone save the link or know who the author or sponsor was?

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at December 05, 2012 12:01 PM (bxiXv)

80 you know it's an unwritten rule most places and a law others, you let the albino critter go when hunting. What kind of person cuts down an albino Christmas tree ??? Damned savages !

Posted by: cu'chulainn at December 05, 2012 12:01 PM (Vk2CC)

81 @StewSays The Dem Majority Leader objects to Sen. McConnell's request to hold a vote on the President's tax hike/debt ceiling proposal. #FiscalCliff

Posted by: 80sBaby at December 05, 2012 03:53 PM (YjDyJ)

---------------------------------------------------

There are times when I actually like McConnell. But, alas, the repubs are powerless.

My take is that the dems and the beltway repubs are in the last stretch of their plan to blame all of the budget problems on conservatives/Tea Party. Get ready for it.

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 12:01 PM (vNrNd)

82 >> ehhh... I have rule against travel to places which are also cold as f***.

That's a good rule ace. I tell my friend in Chicago, your state is off limits to me between October and April.

Have a good vacay. I'd be willing to write up some stuff and send it to a cob, who could then choose to use it or not while you're gone.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 05, 2012 12:01 PM (ccXZP)

83 Whoa What the fuck is a Kwanzaa cake?!!! Is this covered by rule #1?

Posted by: Navycopjoe at December 05, 2012 12:01 PM (WnvXh)

84 Well the rich are different. I am sure in the posh penthouses of NYC the trophy wives are pulling their mais's hair out right now because they didn't think of throwing a silver tiger under the tree in a tasteful homage to Siegfried and Roy.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at December 05, 2012 12:01 PM (RZ8pf)

85 I finally saw True Grit last night.

I understood about 3 out of every 10 words of dialogue. I guess it was "authentic". Not a bad flickershow for free.

Kind of like watching a foreign language film without subtitles. You just try to follow along using visual cues and context.

Is that were we got the meme "authentic frontier gibberish" from?

Makes sense now.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 12:02 PM (KXm42)

86 There are 7 days in a week, not 9.

Posted by: Serious Cat at December 05, 2012 12:02 PM (UypUQ)

87 That tree looks like Paul Bunyan splooged on it.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 05, 2012 12:02 PM (SY2Kh)

So where did all the trolls go? Were they banned?

They are staring at the tree.

Posted by: fluffy at December 05, 2012 12:02 PM (O6q63)

89 That tree is RACIST!

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 12:02 PM (iYbLN)

90 Gawd! What the hell is that!? It wouldn't look so bad if it didn't look hairy--or something. It's the-- Christmas Furry!

Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 12:02 PM (r2PLg)

91 I have corn!

Posted by: Kwanza Timmy at December 05, 2012 12:02 PM (QupBk)

92 The photo's kind of blurry, but it sure looks like a couple of albino peacocks at the top of the tree.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 05, 2012 12:02 PM (TIIx5)

93 Is this covered by rule #1?

Posted by: Navycopjoe at December 05, 2012 04:01 PM (WnvXh)

No its a cake for a fake holiday invented by a black terrorist who tortured his girlfriend to death and got away with it.

Posted by: Vic at December 05, 2012 12:03 PM (YdQQY)

Posted by: Fritz at December 05, 2012 03:53 PM (/ZZCn)

I'm thinking however they celebrate it was the inspiration for Grandmaster Flash's "White Lines".

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 12:03 PM (jm/9g)

95 ace Vacation:

Riding solo in a green, faux wood-paneled station wagon, making eyes with Rubio's motorcade, skinny-dipping with the tri-corner hat girl (this is crazy, this is crazy), cruisin' with a dead hobo on the roof, and sporting white loafers.

Posted by: angler at December 05, 2012 12:03 PM (SwjAj)

96 Bob Guccione was an important influence on my childhood.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 12:03 PM (KXm42)

97 What the fuck is a Kwanzaa cake?!!! Is this covered by rule #1? Rule 34.

Posted by: Ian S. at December 05, 2012 12:03 PM (B/VB5)

98 That looks like a huge silver/white wig.

Another variation for Christmas is in the [link to partycity dot com]

Posted by: RioBravo at December 05, 2012 12:03 PM (eEfYn)

99 I finally saw True Grit last night. The new one? Or the old one?

Posted by: Kwanza Timmy at December 05, 2012 12:03 PM (QupBk)

100 Edgar Winter is gonna be so pissed someone stole his tree.

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 12:03 PM (iYbLN)

101 A kitteh pic every day!!!! On the weekend, kitteh videos!!! Let's go all kitteh!!

And flame wars.

Yeah. Flame.Wars.

Posted by: shibumi at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (z63Tr)

102

There are 7 days in a week, not 9.

Work week sandwiched by two weekends.

Posted by: fluffy at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (O6q63)

103 Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 04:02 PM (KXm42)

Which version?

Old John Wayne version good

New hipster version teh suck

Posted by: Vic at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (YdQQY)

104 so thats what a lace wig looks like...

Posted by: cu'chulainn at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (Vk2CC)

105 Quiet....... and face shattering cold. I grew up in MN and do not go back there unless it's May thru October . Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 05, 2012 04:00 PM (juices) _________________ Eh, I did time in Eastern Canada--once froze the snot inside my nose. Gawd--did that hurt when it thawed.

Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (r2PLg)

106 Quiet....... and face shattering cold. I grew up in MN and do not go back there unless it's May thru October .Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 05, 2012 04:00 PM (jucos)

Lightweight! LOL

Best time of the year.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (sbV1u)

107 I like tree. Is manly.

Posted by: Vladimir Putin at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (kt/h1)

108 ell the rich are different. I am sure in the posh penthouses of NYC the trophy wives are pulling their mais's hair out right now because they didn't think of throwing a silver tiger under the tree in a tasteful homage to Siegfried and Roy.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at December 05, 2012 04:01 PM (RZ8pf)

To be a REAL homage, the tiger would have to be chewing on Roy.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (4df7R)

109 I thought Albino Christmas trees were witches or something & had to be killed?

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (e/Cti)

110

Posted by: ace at December 05, 2012 03:49 PM (LCRYB)

IIRC ace, you're actually sitting on one or two "thinky" pieces from me still. If I had any guess, 0 of them are still relevant I'd bet.

I had considered pitching a "Now that Obama Care is comming" series of posts, since, well....Health Care Ethics degree....I think I know more about that law than 80% of americans and 90% of Congress.

Oh the things you could mine: Medicare advantage cuts (you know the medicare voucher program that has great reviews by people in it?! Amazing why don't we expand...oh...wait...), ACOs (They're like HMO's just this time they'll work!) and "Starve the Beast: Exchange editions." (I thought of a few others at the time but forgot.)

But well...paper due in (looks at calender) holy shit, 6 days or my I becomes and F, so yeah...not happening. (Draft AllenG, he could write a disseration on "Guaranteed Issue, HIPPA, redudancy, Bread and Circuses")

Posted by: tsrblke at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (GaqMa)

111 Wow, my fiber-optic/LED "Disco" tree looks way better than that!

My dog's bowel movements after eating spinach look better than that.

Posted by: pep at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (6TB1Z)

112 No its a cake for a fake holiday invented by a black terrorist who tortured his girlfriend to death and got away with it. Posted by: Vic at December 05, 2012 04:03 PM (YdQQY) ------------------------------------------------------- That's just wrong.

Posted by: OJ Simpson at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (jucos)

113 Yemen is nice this time of year ( always sunny in Sana )

Al Qaeda committed Â‘truly shockingÂ’ human rights abuses including crucifixions and the beheading of an alleged sorceror during its 16 months in control of a southern region of Yemen, a report by Amnesty International claimed today.

Posted by: Wally in Walla Walla at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (Dll6b)

114 I could put away a hell of a lot of beer in 9 days.

Posted by: USS Diversity at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (85EaA)

115 Did the tiger eat the occupant of the sleigh?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 05, 2012 12:04 PM (QKKT0)

116 Enjoy the time off Ace. Btw, it's nice and warm down here in NE Florida. Plenty of relaxing places to visit. Fernandina Beach, St. Augustine, etc.

As for the blog, well, if you need someone posting on boobehs/hot women, I'm your guy. Otherwise......yeah, prob not.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 05, 2012 12:05 PM (da5Wo)

117 I have a dildo that kinda looks like that tree.

Posted by: Dana Milbankz at December 05, 2012 12:05 PM (/YJYi)

118 Itt, we've been looking for you.

Posted by: hat and Anemia Addams at December 05, 2012 12:05 PM (rzTDZ)

119 But, but, but, who'll deliver our movie reviews?

Posted by: Snake Plissken at December 05, 2012 12:05 PM (UhXzR)

120 So where did all the trolls go? Were they banned? Posted by: Walkers!

No bannings that I know of. I'm hoping it's because peeps have been avoiding giving them attention.

Except for Mr. Moo-Moo who fancies himself a master sculptor in the medium of shit.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 05, 2012 12:05 PM (08zV/)

121 cruisin' with a dead hobo on the roof, and sporting white loafers. Posted by: angler at December 05, 2012 04:03 PM (SwjAj)

You forgot the matching white belt, stylishly worn at chest level.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 05, 2012 12:06 PM (sbV1u)

122 It's the--
Christmas Furry!

It does look rather Yeti-like. Crouching slightly, getting ready to pounce.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 12:06 PM (/kI1Q)

123 Burn the Witch Tree!

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 12:06 PM (iYbLN)

124

Have fun Ace.

P.S. I tried your soup. The kids didn't care for it, but I thought it was pretty good (especially with a little added sour cream).

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, still a Hobbit at December 05, 2012 12:06 PM (wbeNt)

125

From the Twitchy rundown of The Case of the Hideous Tree:

@hunterw We confrmd Gov #Cuomo's Xmas tree tiger statue is a D'Argenta lmtd edition tht sells 4 over $4,000Â—

That tiger is worth $4K. FML.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 12:06 PM (4df7R)

126 I'm going on my va-cay-cay! Wouldn't mind a little va-jay-jay!

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 12:06 PM (e/Cti)

127 Looks like Anthony Weiner spooged all over that tree.

Posted by: logprof at December 05, 2012 12:07 PM (gBuIk)

128 I sense Sandra Lee's influence. That's how we roll in Puyallup.

Posted by: LASue at December 05, 2012 12:07 PM (gjIQF)

129 Except for Mr. Moo-Moo who fancies himself a master sculptor in the medium of shit. Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 05, 2012 04:05 PM (08zV/)

I call this one, Creme de la merde

It's from my Brown Period.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo Moo at December 05, 2012 12:07 PM (sbV1u)

130 Eh, I did time in Eastern Canada--once froze the snot inside my nose.

Gawd--did that hurt when it thawed.

Lived in MN my entire life.

When I was a kid I had my eyelids freeze shut. More than once.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 05, 2012 12:07 PM (SY2Kh)

131 The new one. I never had any trouble with The Dukes diction.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 12:07 PM (KXm42)

132
Its like a fiber optic monster took a dump in their living room.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 05, 2012 12:07 PM (n/ubI)

133 In other news, one of the best side effects of the massive amounts of NyQuil I've been chugging lately to deal with this season's "ick"...is that I really couldn't be persuaded to give a shit about anyone's cliff. We may want to christen NyQuil as the official beverage of LiB/MiB/WiB.

Posted by: Rob McNeece at December 05, 2012 12:07 PM (hNXHo)

134 Cold hard truth: The pre-election forum civil war has now been resolved and the Eeyores won.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 05, 2012 12:08 PM (Hx5uv)

135 I want Christmas Tigers.

ace, I hope you're going somewhere nice with hot and cold running hotassery. You deserve it.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Helping it burn. at December 05, 2012 12:08 PM (Gk3SS)

136 And this guy wants to be President someday???!!

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 12:08 PM (iYbLN)

137 I sense Sandra Lee's influence. That's how we roll in Puyallup. Posted by: LASue at December 05, 2012 04:07 PM (gjIQF) --------------------------------------------------------- Isn't she the blond cougar on Hometime TV or some such. Huge cans? Kind of looks like Nicolle?

Posted by: OJ Simpson at December 05, 2012 12:08 PM (jucos)

138 Walla Walla is to Puyallup as San Bernardino is to Redlands

Posted by: Wally in Walla Walla at December 05, 2012 12:08 PM (Dll6b)

139 Ghastly. Execrable bad taste. Typical Big Apple (even tho' it's Albany, right?). About as far from shepherds and mangers as it is possible to get. And they like it that way; that's why they live there.

Posted by: Thorvald at December 05, 2012 12:08 PM (1V6Pv)

140 That tiger is worth $4K. FML.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 05, 2012 04:06 PM (4df7R)

$80 on eBay.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 05, 2012 12:08 PM (QKKT0)

141

Whoa
What the fuck is a Kwanzaa cake?!!!

YouTube has a great video of my fantastic post-racial Kwanzaa Cake, you would already know about it if you were culturated and an artiste such as am I. Instead of an incivilized pee-on which is you, in case no one ever broke it to you!

Posted by: Sandra Lee, future NY First Lady without Jenny Sanford problems at December 05, 2012 12:09 PM (jm/9g)

142 Eldest Kidlet says the tree is "Really weird, and should never happen." I *knew* I was raising her right.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, still a Hobbit at December 05, 2012 12:09 PM (wbeNt)

143 I never had any trouble with The Dukes diction.

TWSS.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 12:09 PM (/kI1Q)

144 I finally saw True Grit last night.

I understood about 3 out of every 10 words of dialogue. I guess it was "authentic". Not a bad flickershow for free.

Kind of like watching a foreign language film without subtitles. You just try to follow along using visual cues and context.

Is that were we got the meme "authentic frontier gibberish" from?

Makes sense now.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 04:02 PM (KXm42)

-----------------------------------------------

Please keep your attitude and come and visit OK and TX. We just love when your type comes to our states. Keeps our marksmanship skills honed.

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 12:09 PM (vNrNd)

145

What's that hairy crap on top of the tree? Ohhh..I see. Someone call Bob Costas. His toupe was reported stolen this morning. I think I found it.

Posted by: krono at December 05, 2012 12:09 PM (+mGUF)

146 The tree just screams Gumba. I'm almost willing to bet--the Cuomo bedroom is black lacquer with gold trim.

Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 12:09 PM (r2PLg)

147 It cracks me up how harsh the ladies are on Sandra Lee.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 12:10 PM (KXm42)

148 Here's Ace on his last Christmas Vacation;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dImluYXmKJc

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:10 PM (wwsoB)

149 You have to watch the clip of Sandra Lee making Kwanzaa cake. Check it out on youtube. It involves, i shit you not, beer nuts at one point (IIRC).

Posted by: Penfold at December 05, 2012 12:10 PM (Fbt5B)

150 Its like a fiber optic monster took a dump in their living room.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk

RAAAOOOWWWWRRRR~!

Posted by: Id Monster [/i] [/b] at December 05, 2012 12:10 PM (08zV/)

151 >>Hobo safari? Maybe he's going on EoJ's feral Dem hunt in Deetroit.

Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 12:10 PM (96M6e)

152 Animals that eat you tend to have bad digestive systems. IOW, they will be shitting out pieces of your for days.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 12:10 PM (e/Cti)

153 That tree looks like it's modeled after the Abominable Snowman from the stop action Rudolf movie.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 05, 2012 12:11 PM (tf9Ne)

154 Lived in MN my entire life. When I was a kid I had my eyelids freeze shut. More than once. Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 05, 2012 04:07 PM (SY2Kh) ------------------------------------------------------- What part? We used to freeze our faces playing pond hockey, but when you are a kid it doesn't really bother you that much. The pucks hurt when you got hit by one I remember.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 05, 2012 12:11 PM (jucos)

155 It cracks me up how harsh the ladies are on Sandra Lee.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 04:10 PM (KXm42)

Of all the cooking and/or decorating shows on HGTV, hers ALWAYS annoyed the living crap out of me. She oozes smarm.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 12:11 PM (4df7R)

156 Holiday Rooo oooh ooooohh ooh oohhh oooaaddd

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nLiQBV6A7c

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:11 PM (wwsoB)

157 Lived in MN my entire life. When I was a kid I had my eyelids freeze shut. More than once. Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 05, 2012 04:07 PM (SY2Kh) _______________________ OMG--I never managed that one. WTH? I managed the snot freeze in 20 below. How did you do that one?

Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 12:11 PM (r2PLg)

158 Posted by: Vic at December 05, 2012 04:03 PM (YdQQY)

And if you think he is kidding...he's not!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 05, 2012 12:12 PM (GsoHv)

159 Well, Mabank just called and said; "It figures that conservative prick WOULD go on vacation while Lord Obama is busy trying to save his ass."

Posted by: Sgt. Fury at December 05, 2012 12:12 PM (wmR6i)

160 Who the hell is Sandra Lee?

Oliva Newton-John's character in Grease?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 05, 2012 12:12 PM (SY2Kh)

161 Soona. I have no problems here in Houston. Where I live. That's the big city in Texas for all you sooners.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 12:13 PM (KXm42)

162 Is Sandra lee the "almost from scratch" chick on food network? Or does she have a different schtick?

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at December 05, 2012 12:13 PM (RZ8pf)

163 OMG--I never managed that one.

WTH?

I managed the snot freeze in 20 below.

How did you do that one?

Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 04:11 PM (r2PLg)

I'm just guessing here, but I'm thinking a strong wind that makes your eyes water and forces you to squeeze them shut, coupled with below freezing, negative farenheit temperatures.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 12:13 PM (4df7R)

164 And I, in your absence, will continue my role here at the ol' Q.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 05, 2012 12:13 PM (jUytm)

165 Sandra Lee lives there. That explains everything.

COCKTAIL TIIIIIME!!!

Posted by: DangerGirl at December 05, 2012 12:13 PM (GrtrJ)

166 I'm almost willing to bet--the Cuomo bedroom is black lacquer with gold trim. Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 04:09 PM (r2PLg) ----------------------------------------------------------- With Smoked mirrors on the ceiling.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 05, 2012 12:13 PM (jucos)

167 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 05, 2012 04:11 PM (4df7R)

Just watch her holiday shows -- with the sound off -- and check out her boobs in the stupid but revealing costumes. Very nice.

Oh, wait, you're a chick, aren't you?

Never mind.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 05, 2012 12:14 PM (GsoHv)

168 Is Sandra lee the "almost from scratch" chick on food network? Or does she have a different schtick?

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at December 05, 2012 04:13 PM (RZ8pf)

"Keep it simple. Keep it sweet. And always keep it semi-homemade."

Gah, just thinking about it makes me want to punch a pony.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 12:14 PM (4df7R)

169 The more I stare at that tree, the more it cracks me up.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 12:14 PM (/kI1Q)

170 Come on, Ace, we all know you're spending your vacation waiting in line for the Hobbit release in your Wicket costume (nothing riles up the nerds more than a little cross-fandom cosplay).

Seriously, though, get some rest and do something fun!

Posted by: not the mama at December 05, 2012 12:14 PM (kzCIn)

171 I'm sure they consider the tree very progressive

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 05, 2012 12:15 PM (1Jaio)

172 Just watch her holiday shows -- with the sound off -- and check out her boobs in the stupid but revealing costumes. Very nice.

Oh, wait, you're a chick, aren't you?

Never mind.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 05, 2012 04:14 PM (GsoHv)

lol!

I might try it anyway. Just to see if it improves my opinion of her in any way.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 12:15 PM (4df7R)

173 Is he the one banging Sandra Lee? I bet the cocktails and appetizers and her apron bush match the tree.

Fixed it for you Tammy

Posted by: Spad13 at December 05, 2012 12:15 PM (1kSKA)

174 Wait, is that a liger? Cool!

Posted by: Matt at December 05, 2012 12:15 PM (90w0O)

175 Ace, you forget that the first lady of NY State is... SANDRA LEE! She was described as "evil" by Anthony Bourdain. Then again, he's a drug-addled leftist douche, so maybe she ain't all that bad.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:15 PM (XkWWK)

176 OMG--I never managed that one.
WTH?
I managed the snot freeze in 20 below.
How did you do that one?

I believe a snowmobile and/or three wheeler may have been involved.

Get watery eyes from the wind, close eyes for too long, tears freeze. To be more accurate, it was my eyelashes that froze together.

It was pretty freaky being suddenly unable to open my eyes. Especially while operating a moving snowmobile.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 05, 2012 12:15 PM (SY2Kh)

177 Ace, I'd be happy to re-do a couple of posts on my blog for use here if anyone is interested in a car thread

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:16 PM (wwsoB)

178 My God, that tree! The goggles do nothing.

Posted by: Witchfinder at December 05, 2012 12:16 PM (pLTLS)

179 I remember when Ace went on vacation & didn't come back. He disappeared for two months. Since he was in LA, I thought he may have been sucked into some seedy culture & was selling himself on Sunset.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 12:16 PM (e/Cti)

180 Ocelots are cooler.

Posted by: Archer at December 05, 2012 12:16 PM (/YJYi)

181 Soona. I have no problems here in Houston. Where I live. That's the big city in Texas for all you sooners.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 04:13 PM (KXm42)

------------------------------------------------

Well, hell. Come on up to OKC. We'll be waiting.

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 12:16 PM (vNrNd)

182 168 "Keep it simple. Keep it sweet. And always keep it semi-homemade." Gah, just thinking about it makes me want to punch a pony. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 05, 2012 04:14 PM (4df7R) Keep it spread, keep it moist and always keep it semi-hard. Sandra Fluke (Lee!)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:16 PM (XkWWK)

183

And I, in your absence, will continue my role here at the ol' Q.

Monkeys hardest hit.

Posted by: fluffy at December 05, 2012 12:16 PM (O6q63)

184 That is not a Christmas tree. That is a POS.

Posted by: minometer at December 05, 2012 12:16 PM (PwwAS)

185 Any chance you could start a weekly recipes/morons cooking thread? Might be fun, especially over the holidays.

Posted by: taylork at December 05, 2012 12:17 PM (ppNDn)

186 I'd like to see what Empire of Jeff would do with a few threads

Ace's lawyers however probably would not

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:17 PM (wwsoB)

187

"I sense Sandra Lee's influence. That's how we roll in Puyallup."

ExCUSE me, Miss LASue! WE prefer the Eye-talian pronounciation, which is "Tiramisu". That's how Andrewsays it. He even changed my official bio to now reflect my citizen of the worldness. That's where I'm from, Tiramisu, Washington.

Posted by: Sandra Lee, multiculturated and a cunning linguist at December 05, 2012 12:17 PM (jm/9g)

188 Cuomo is banging THAT Sandra Lee? Man..... I would give her the best 7 seconds of my life.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 05, 2012 12:17 PM (jucos)

189 OMG, this would be the perfect chance for AllenG to cut his eye teeth with some fill-in blogging! Then he can finally get to work on that blog he's always talking about starting someday.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at December 05, 2012 12:17 PM (4df7R)

190 179 Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 04:16 PM (e/Cti) "Runaway train, never goin' back, Wrong way on a one way track..."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:17 PM (XkWWK)

191 With Smoked mirrors on the ceiling. Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 05, 2012 04:13 PM (juices) ____________________ The bed is round, and when Andy is feeling super randy-- he feeds it quarters.

Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 12:17 PM (r2PLg)

192 And Ace, have a great vacation!

I am taking the kids to Disneyworld for Christmas. It was that or the in-laws for the 8th year in a row. Now I love my in-laws - particularly that they are 7 hours away and my life insurance policy excludes paying out on suicide.

Posted by: Penfold at December 05, 2012 12:17 PM (Fbt5B)

193

Posted by: taylork at December 05, 2012 04:17 PM (ppNDn)

___

How did your Thanksgiving Day dinner turn out?

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 12:18 PM (jm/9g)

194 J.J., whatever your thoughts on Bourdain (and I believe he claims to be libertarian, FWIW), his book Kitchen Confidential is freaking hilarious. Disclosure: Sandra Lee is dumb as a fencepost, but I'd hit it.

Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 12:18 PM (96M6e)

195 The chair in the picture is missing the plastic slipcover.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 05, 2012 12:18 PM (6wcJw)

196 Ace, I'd be happy to re-do a couple of posts on my blog for use here if anyone is interested in a car thread

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 04:16 PM (wwsoB)

-------------------------------------------

Oh, geez. Please don't give us a Prius review.

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 12:18 PM (vNrNd)

197
Quit making fun of me!

Posted by: The Racist Tree (sponsored by msnbc) at December 05, 2012 12:18 PM (n/ubI)

198 In related news, Bob Guccione just called, he wants his sense of style back. Posted by: Ace at 03:42 PM Thanks to Bob Guccione, my idealized woman has 36-DD's, giant beaded necklaces and appears with a petroleum jelly haze around her... FAP (circa 1974-75)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:18 PM (XkWWK)

199 Disclosure: Sandra Lee is dumb as a fencepost, but I'd hit it. Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 04:18 PM (96M6e) Sandra Dee. Bring her back

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 05, 2012 12:19 PM (jE38p)

200
That chair is a picture of Obama.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 05, 2012 12:19 PM (n/ubI)

201

Cripes, now I got that fkn Singin' Snowman with the cane stuck in my head

/silllver and gooold, silvvvver and gooolllllddd

Posted by: uterus cannon at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (3ZtZW)

202 Check out the camel outside the Supreme Court.
http://is.gd/lzNpuq

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (/kI1Q)

203 I was prepared to hate the new True Grit and I enjoyed it instead. Ditto the newish Total Recall.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (QupBk)

204 I believe a snowmobile and/or three wheeler may have been involved. Get watery eyes from the wind, close eyes for too long, tears freeze. To be more accurate, it was my eyelashes that froze together. It was pretty freaky being suddenly unable to open my eyes. Especially while operating a moving snowmobile. Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 05, 2012 04:15 PM (SY2Kh) ____________________ Oohhhh--that sounds like it will do it. You add the wind co-efficient--bam. Holy hell that must have been freaky. Man I neve got to go snowmobiling.

Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (r2PLg)

205 Poor Sandra Lee. I like her because she's the only cooking show that features booze in every episode, but yeah, you know their dining room "tablescape" matches that so-called tree...

Posted by: not the mama at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (kzCIn)

206
As long as ace's vacay doesn't go like his Halloween.....

http://scoamf.us/43

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (TIIx5)

207 Disclosure: Sandra Lee is dumb as a fencepost, but I'd hit it.

Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 04:18 PM (96M6e)

--------------------------------------

With the looks of that tree, Cuomo obviously has the same attitude.

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (vNrNd)

208 There is no greater lameness than recommending a "great site" for conservatives just to have all the recommendees come back with "...my 3rd Grader just made a better site at Montessori, hyperlinks and all!". Posted by: Lincolntf at December 05, 2012 03:57 PM

Does the third grader get quoted by Greg Gutfield, Instapundit, and other superstars of the blogosphere and media?

As I said, it's what we say here, not how pretty it looks on the screen

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (wwsoB)

209 Linked on Hot Air: New Democrat representative from CT, Christina Ayala, has now been arrested for the second time since her election last month. First was for hit and run. Latest is for domestic abuse.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (Hx5uv)

210 Isn't that the Christmas Tree from Goodfellas?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 05, 2012 12:20 PM (6wcJw)

211 So maybe Ace IS going hobo hunting in the Scum Cities around Amsterdam? I question the timing.

Posted by: Pyrocles at December 05, 2012 12:21 PM (cv5Iw)

212 BTW Ace........ Wallyworld -- not a real place.

inorite

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 12:21 PM (KXm42)

213 I'm reaching out to some folks to help cover my absence.
I'm glad that doesn't read "abscess".

Posted by: andycanuck at December 05, 2012 12:21 PM (jPVBi)

214 There is no greater lameness than recommending a "great site" for conservatives just to have all the recommendees come back with "...my 3rd Grader just made a better site at Montessori, hyperlinks and all!". Posted by: Lincolntf at December 05, 2012 03:57 PM

Lots of suggestions for Ace on how to improve the technicals of the blog

Very few offers on paying for it

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:21 PM (wwsoB)

215 Who the hell is Sandra Lee? Guess I'm off to the googles--but last time I googled from here I was googling bukkake.

Posted by: tasker at December 05, 2012 12:21 PM (r2PLg)

216 Country on the brink, Ace and Barack get busy.

Posted by: nip at December 05, 2012 12:21 PM (11Tdq)

217 Nevergiveup, link in my nic to Daily Mail article titled: "So that's what happened to Sandy and Danny! John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John unleash their old Grease moves in cringeworthy Christmas video." Olivia N.J. is *still* hittable. Does that make me a bad person?

Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 12:22 PM (96M6e)

218 >Thanks to Bob Guccione, my idealized woman has 36-DD's, giant beaded necklaces and appears with a petroleum jelly haze around her...

don't forget the luxurious shag carpeting

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 05, 2012 12:22 PM (8sCoq)

219
"Keep it simple. Keep it sweet. And always keep it semi-homemade."

Gah, just thinking about it makes me want to punch a pony. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 05, 2012 04:14 PM (4df7R)

Oh thank fuck, I thought that was just me.

Stop! Whining time! I am sick as a dog, to the point of resorting to eating crackers just to have something to puke, and it is not right that I'm this sick without getting hammered first.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Helping it burn. at December 05, 2012 12:22 PM (Gk3SS)

220 That tree has nothing on my mistletoe beltbuckle.

Posted by: polynikes at December 05, 2012 12:23 PM (m2CN7)

221 Olivia N.J. is *still* hittable. Does that make me a bad person? Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 04:22 PM (96M6e) No, just probably makes you old like me

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 05, 2012 12:23 PM (jE38p)

222 I'm reaching out to some folks to help cover my absence. If you'd like to do so, please email me. I'm not a very good idea man but I can help organize the double postings if you like.

Posted by: cu'chulainn at December 05, 2012 12:23 PM (Vk2CC)

223 What? They couldn't afford a real curtain rod?

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 12:23 PM (iYbLN)

224 Who the hell is Sandra Lee? She makes frozen cakes and pies, right? And nobody doesn't like her.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 05, 2012 12:23 PM (QupBk)

225 Cripes, now I got that fkn Singin' Snowman with the cane stuck in my head /silllver and gooold, silvvvver and gooolllllddd Posted by: uterus cannon at December 05, 2012 04:20 PM (3ZtZW) ------------------------------------------------------- And, may I ask, is the FUCKING problem with that?

Posted by: Burl Ives at December 05, 2012 12:24 PM (jucos)

226 Andrew Cuomo will probably the next president. Soon we'll have 54 of these trees, only sporting Mao ornaments, filling the White House.

Posted by: Pyrocles at December 05, 2012 12:24 PM (cv5Iw)

227
Maybe its a cocaine tree.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 05, 2012 12:24 PM (n/ubI)

228 194 J.J., whatever your thoughts on Bourdain (and I believe he claims to be libertarian, FWIW), his book Kitchen Confidential is freaking hilarious. Disclosure: Sandra Lee is dumb as a fencepost, but I'd hit it. Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 04:18 PM (96M6e) When we still had cable, we used to watch "No Reservations" religiously. Weird coincidence; I actually have the exact same leather coat he wears (bought it in '97 somewhere on Melrose Avenue in LA). Wound up on a trip to Istanbul just after the Mavi Marmara incident two years ago, and we went to almost every eatery he went to and the food was incredible. Sad what has happened to that country. But Bourdain never went to Israel. He was in Lebanon in '06 and was caught up in the Israeli invasion. Although he didn't outright criticize Israel, he didn't exactly go out of his way to point out the brutality of Hezbollah. The last straw was when he went to freakin' Saudi Arabia and he had a chick in a hijab as his guide. Made it sound like paradise. I also recall that he went off on the Tea Party and Palin, so if he OD's on some bad horse, I won't exactly be saying kaddish.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:24 PM (XkWWK)

229 >>I am sick as a dog, to the point of resorting to eating crackers just to have something to puke, and it is not right that I'm this sick without getting hammered first.

If you're going to puke like you've gotten hammered, then you might as well get hammered.

Posted by: angler at December 05, 2012 12:24 PM (SwjAj)

230 They could have moved their spare furnace filter before they took the picture.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 05, 2012 12:25 PM (n/ubI)

231

Well, we wanted SMOD but got the Crystalline Entity instead.

It will do.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at December 05, 2012 12:25 PM (lMOZd)

232 Olivia N.J. is *still* hittable. Does that make me a bad person? Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 04:22 PM (96M6e) Is Olivia near Hoboken?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:25 PM (XkWWK)

233 Did Sandra Lee put her initials on this monstrosity? I swear I see them.

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 12:26 PM (iYbLN)

234

Go to friggin' Iceland, Ace.

Not warm, except for the volcano waters, but lotsa Scandis and booze. And surprisingly close by you.

Posted by: uterus cannon at December 05, 2012 12:26 PM (3ZtZW)

235 Olivia N.J. is *still* hittable. Does that make me a bad person?
Posted by: jakeman at December 05, 2012 04:22 PM (96M6e)

No, just probably makes you old like me

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 05, 2012 04:23 PM (jE38p)

-----------------------------------------

Heh.

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 12:26 PM (vNrNd)

236 Well, we wanted SMOD but got the Crystalline Entity instead. Whoa. I see it now. Get the universal translator.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 05, 2012 12:26 PM (QupBk)

237 Did Sandra Lee put her initials on this monstrosity? I swear I see them.

Yeah, right in the middle.

What's the deal with the giant tape dispenser behind the tiger?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 12:26 PM (/kI1Q)

238 218 don't forget the luxurious shag carpeting Posted by: Jones in CO at December 05, 2012 04:22 PM (8sCoq) Which blended so nicely with unshaved muff...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:26 PM (XkWWK)

239 Who the hell is Sandra Lee? She makes frozen cakes and pies, right? And nobody doesn't like her. Posted by: toby928Â© for TB at December 05, 2012 04:23 PM (QupBk) ------------------------------------------------------- No. That's her retarded sister Sara. She got that rep in high school.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at December 05, 2012 12:27 PM (jucos)

240 Is Olivia near Hoboken? Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 04:25 PM (XkWWK) Until tropical storm Sandy it was

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 05, 2012 12:27 PM (jE38p)

241 I'd love to be a cob-logger. Next week I am hugely busy, though. Plus, I'm generally dull, boring and irretrievably awful.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 05, 2012 12:27 PM (i0App)

242 237 What's the deal with the giant tape dispenser behind the tiger? Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ at December 05, 2012 04:26 PM (/kI1Q) That's what Papa Mario used on guys who refused the offer they couldn't refuse, IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:27 PM (XkWWK)

243 Based on my analysis of her tree-- Sandra Lee is-- fake, frozen, and anal.

Posted by: Sigmund Frozen Freud at December 05, 2012 12:28 PM (r2PLg)

244

Linked on Hot Air: New Democrat representative from CT, Christina Ayala, has now been arrested for the second time since her election last month. First was for hit and run. Latest is for domestic abuse.

Do you have the tab open? I can't find the article.

Posted by: fluffy at December 05, 2012 12:28 PM (O6q63)

245
Is Sandra lee the "almost from scratch" chick on food network? Or does she have a different schtick?

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at December 05, 2012 04:13 PM (RZ8pf)

Isn't she the one who does horrid things with a bag of macaroni, a glue gun and a can of silver Krylon?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 05, 2012 12:28 PM (TIIx5)

246 That tree looks like an elderly Cousin Itt.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 05, 2012 12:28 PM (yiIja)

247 Ace, Please Come Home For Christmas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvn9NtaqoKM

Posted by: Der Hoff at December 05, 2012 12:28 PM (wwsoB)

248 Well, we wanted SMOD but got the Crystalline Entity instead.

I wish Captain Kirk was here. He'd know what to do. With 2 minutes left in the show.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 12:28 PM (KXm42)

249 @213 even if it's "abscess", we'll miss Ace, 'cuz abscess makes the fart go "honda!".

Posted by: Thorvald at December 05, 2012 12:29 PM (1V6Pv)

250 If ace is on vacation, how will he get out presents to us on time??

Posted by: Walkers! at December 05, 2012 12:29 PM (e/Cti)

251 Wrong again! I thought that they couldn't do worse than Barney Frank on the House Committee on Financial Services but his replacement is Maxine Waters.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 05, 2012 12:29 PM (Hx5uv)

252 TwitchyTeam ‏@TwitchyTeam

Harry Reid blocks vote on Obama's fiscal cliff proposal, calls it GOP 'stunt' http://bit.ly/QI5c9b

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:29 PM (wwsoB)

253 New December Netflix additions:

Apocalypse Now
- Medved: "The single most over-rated movie - EVAH!"

Redux Bad Boys II
- Apparently the shit got redux'd

Bowling for Columbine
- < gag >

Commando
- "Get to dah choppah!"

Garfield and Friends
- ...

Half Baked
How I Met Your Mother: Season 7
Identity
- pseudo-thriller with nihilist ending

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
- again, not a fan.

Jeepers Creepers
- directed by a child molester. Yay!

Jeff, Who Lives at Home
Little Black Book Portlandia: Season 2
- I've only seen clips of the show; makes fun of granola urban hippsters.

Red Dawn
- Do I really have to say it?

S.W.A.T.
- < reeetch >

Scream
- ick

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Star Trek: Insurrection
Stuart Little 2
The English Patient
- zzzzz

The Last of the Mohicans
- Double plus good!

The Wild Thornberrys Movie
Young Adult
- Charleeeeze Theron. Written by the Juno crew. Bad reviews.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 05, 2012 12:30 PM (08zV/)

254 I'm glad I'm Jewish.

Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (iYbLN)

255 --with control issues. Cuomo has Aryan fantasies and they play-- Little Hitler in the bedroom. (50 Shades of White Christmas)

Posted by: Sigmund Frozen Freud at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (r2PLg)

256 Have a great vacation, ace. We'lldo our best not to break the blog (again) so that it will be bright and shining and ready for action when you get back. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 05, 2012 03:50 PM (4df7R) Who are you kidding? Ace'll be lucky if somebody hasn't hocked the place by then.

Posted by: rickb223 Let. It. Burn. at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (GFM2b)

257 You know, it looks like a tree you'd find in John Gotti's house. Then again, she is Mrs. Cuomo...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (XkWWK)

258 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (5DR1j)

259 Output's been fine, ace.

Posted by: Truman North at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (I2LwF)

260 I nominate Vic and AtC as cob-loggers.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (5DR1j)

261 I still have a left over monkey that I intended to replace DrewM with if I won the lottery. You can use him if you want and if you give him enough time he'll post about Shakespear.

Posted by: polynikes at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (m2CN7)

262 Linked on Hot Air: New Democrat representative from CT, Christina Ayala, has now been arrested for the second time since her election last month. First was for hit and run. Latest is for domestic abuse.

Do you have the tab open? I can't find the article.

---

http://preview.tinyurl.com/bx8vqnq

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 05, 2012 12:31 PM (Hx5uv)

263 254 I'm glad I'm Jewish. Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 04:31 PM (iYbLN) I have a Chanukah bush. Not me, but in my house. NOT that either! Well, that too. But still. Sheesh! Fucking pervs around here.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 05, 2012 12:32 PM (XkWWK)

264 I wish Captain Kirk was here. He'd know what to do. With 2 minutes left in the show.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 04:28 PM (KXm42)

Galaxy Quest. Push the button to stop the self destruct and it counts down to 1 because that's what happens on the show.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at December 05, 2012 12:33 PM (Gk3SS)

265 I'll see your Hasselhoff, and raise you a Heino Weinachtsmedley. http://preview.tinyurl.com/bnrkxdv

Posted by: Thorvald at December 05, 2012 12:33 PM (1V6Pv)

266 Thanks to Bob Guccione, my idealized woman has 36-DD's, giant beaded necklaces and appears with a petroleum jelly haze around her...

And has what appears to be Andrew Cuomo's Xmas Tree growing over her naughty bits.

Posted by: pep at December 05, 2012 12:33 PM (6TB1Z)

267 Train to Montreal, mid week is cheap

Posted by: Jean at December 05, 2012 12:34 PM (74T7W)

268 Thank you, WalrusRex

Posted by: fluffy at December 05, 2012 12:34 PM (O6q63)

269 I've gotta stop looking at that tree because I can't stop laughing.

I missed you guys.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 12:34 PM (/kI1Q)

270

Enjoy your well-deserved vacation, Ace.

You should head to someplace like Frontsight in AZ. It would be warm and fun, if loud. Sort of like Disneyworld, but without the scooters and strollers. Plus, it probably makes Bob Costas cry.

Posted by: Hoplite Housewife at December 05, 2012 12:34 PM (qtKqj)

271
S.W.A.T.
- < reeetch >

---

Should be

S.W.A.T.
Ouch!

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 05, 2012 12:35 PM (Hx5uv)

272 Have fun, Ace. Please don't forget to leave us the keys to the liquor cabinet.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 05, 2012 12:35 PM (yiIja)

273 Walrus, she will fit right in

Posted by: Jean at December 05, 2012 12:36 PM (74T7W)

274 Moonbat Actor Matt Damon: My Far-Left Politics WonÂ’t Stop People From Seeing My MoviesÂ… Yeah? Not me dickhead. I wouldn't pay a penny to see one of your movies

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 05, 2012 12:36 PM (jE38p)

275 I nominate Vic and AtC as cob-loggers.

I nominate AllenG. Seriously, if I was a cob, it'd be all manatees this, Dita nearly naked that and who would want that?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at December 05, 2012 12:36 PM (Gk3SS)

276 Finally, they made a tampon big enough for me!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 05, 2012 12:37 PM (5iuEW)

277 Major Asshole Garrett ;

'Bah, Humbug' Â– CBS's Garrett Channels Obama's 'Scrooge' Slam of GOP

http://tinyurl.com/cpxe4kz

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:37 PM (wwsoB)

278 It's a GIGANTIC MONSTER COCOON. And Wilford Brimley is coming out of it at any moment.

Kill it with fire.

Posted by: grognard at December 05, 2012 12:37 PM (NS2Mo)

279 Going directly to the source in Thailand?

Posted by: Paladin at December 05, 2012 12:38 PM (4kpbt)

280 Does mulch burn ?

GOP Wants to 'Turn Poor People Into Mulch,' Claims Ever-Inane Stephanie Miller

http://tinyurl.com/bkwkfah

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 12:39 PM (wwsoB)

281 I don't think the carpet matches the drapes.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 05, 2012 12:40 PM (6wcJw)

282

58 I like the saucy way the tiger's front paws are crossed. He's saying "bitch, please I've got it going' on"

-------

That's because he's just brimming with Charlie Sheen blood.

Posted by: Citizen Anachronda at December 05, 2012 12:40 PM (xGZ+b)

283

That's not a Christmas Tree. That's a Holiday Tree.

Posted by: Al at December 05, 2012 12:40 PM (V70Uh)

284
I'll Cob Log!

Matt Damon!!!!

Posted by: Matt Damon!!!!! at December 05, 2012 12:40 PM (n/ubI)

285 I'll Cob Log!

Matt Damon!!!!

Me too. I play a republican on TV after all.

Posted by: Alec Baldwin at December 05, 2012 12:42 PM (/YJYi)

286 What's the traditional meal of kwanza?

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 12:43 PM (vNrNd)

287 That is an exact replica of Henry Hill's tree in Goodfellas, isn't it?

Posted by: os du randt at December 05, 2012 12:43 PM (nkEIC)

288

I would like to start a post as to why

Marco Rubio-Tom Cotton 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is our next ticket for 2016.

If anyone suggests gingrich you will be baseball batted. Bachmann, bat.

Santorum, bat. Cain, bat. Palin, bat.

I really like some of the above, but trying to run nationally with any of them would be ridiculous. Cain might be best, but his goofy plan still rings in my ear. That's all that guy could ever say.

Posted by: Prescient11 at December 05, 2012 12:43 PM (tVTLU)

289 Fuckin manatees.

Walrus or seal. Pick one and be that.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 05, 2012 12:43 PM (SY2Kh)

290 You don't HAVE a real job, Mr. O'Spades! Racist right-wing diatribes, drunken masturbation, misogynist fantasies about Fox News' parade of conservative sluts, and Social Anxiety Disorder do NOT constitute a real job! If you were in any way qualified to work in the actual media alongside thoughtful commentators like Meghan McCain, Jason Whitlock, and the Kardashian sister who looks like Chewbacca, you would be working there, and not pimping an overdeveloped blog you write from home wrapped in a stained Star Wars bedsheet!

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, VT at December 05, 2012 12:43 PM (jCQ+I)

291 And yes, what the fuck is with that tree?

Posted by: Prescient11 at December 05, 2012 12:43 PM (tVTLU)

292 "Going On Vacation Next Week"

Wherever you're going, enjoy yourself.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at December 05, 2012 12:44 PM (vd7A8)

293 If I was a coblogger everything would be movie threads and fart jokes.

Posted by: eleven at December 05, 2012 12:44 PM (KXm42)

294 dammit you guys! I had to work all day and all these posts were so interesting! anyway this is a beautiful tree. COME ON! yes he's Italian - what of it?!?! my mom would LOVE LOVE LOVE that tree. I know b/c we had one like that growing up

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 12:44 PM (J6kXj)

295 goin 2 endor

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 05, 2012 12:44 PM (6wcJw)

296 my mom would LOVE LOVE LOVE that tree. I know b/c we had one like that growing up

Did it ever eat the pets?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 12:45 PM (/kI1Q)

297 I'd love to do some edumacation posts so you all can join my SUFFERING bc having children in US schools now is akin to a hostage situation. It's so incredibly bad. And I'm talking about Catholic schools! public schools are worse, of course. but still, lots of suck

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 12:45 PM (J6kXj)

298 I didn't know Andrew Cuomo was Persian-Iranian

Posted by: Truman North at December 05, 2012 12:45 PM (I2LwF)

299 295
goin 2 endor
Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 05, 2012 04:44 PM (6wcJw)

Well it *is* Life Day season.

Posted by: Mætenloch at December 05, 2012 12:45 PM (pAlYe)

300 Heather the good thing about that sort of tree is the pets never go near it. they definitely were NOT confused about the "nature in the house" thing

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 12:45 PM (J6kXj)

301

What's the traditional meal of kwanza?

Reparation Pie?

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at December 05, 2012 12:46 PM (lMOZd)

302 also last year my mom gave me a gold tree like a smaller version of that. yes I put it up! it's shiny

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 12:46 PM (J6kXj)

303

85 Is that were we got the meme "authentic frontier gibberish" from?

----------

"Authentic frontier gibberish" is from Blazing Saddles.

Posted by: Citizen Anachronda Johnson at December 05, 2012 12:46 PM (FzhYM)

304

What's the traditional meal of kwanza?

It's the traditional meal of saltines and Cheeze Whiz, celebrated in the old homeland for centuries before the invasion of De Debil Honky.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 05, 2012 12:47 PM (yiIja)

305

it's a hannukah tree- no condo/apartment in MANHATTAN!!! should be without one- the perfect foil for the all white, crystal and glass decor;

i love NEW YORK!!!

Posted by: wm flip at December 05, 2012 12:47 PM (lB/5N)

306 What's the traditional meal of kwanza?

Water. Forced fed to you through a hose.

Posted by: Maulana Karenga at December 05, 2012 12:47 PM (/YJYi)

307 Ace: have a Merry Christmas and a great time off. If anyone misbehaves I will smack them around (in good cheer, of course).

People are already getting peevish out yonder with holiday stress (I guess. It could be a double-whammy due to election. No one seems cheerful but me and the poor lady at the grocery decked out in a red outfit with ornament earrings. While I did not approve her outfit and would not wear it myself, I did note her attempt to be merry.

The local post office, a small place to begin with but a year ago functioning with two peoples behind the desk if there was a line, has been reduced to 1 irritable person a day, no matter the line or time. I have been told during their lunch break they CLOSE. This is your government at work, and a sign of Obamacare in our futures! I waited a long time, meditating and thinking positive thoughts, to mail a couple of things today. The "lady" behind me kept snorting (like Keif Olberman) every five minutes or so, or after each person's request at the front of line. To begin with she was sort of in my personal space...I mean, right on my back. So her snorting blew my hair and it freaked me out. I wanted to say, "Do you mind? You are in my personal space! Quit exhaling in my hair!" But, in the spirit of Christmas, I refrained. I seriously wanted to make a scene, baby, like only a riled up Southern former supermodel can.

Living in Floriduh also adds it's special charm as the Snowbirds are back! Creating traffic jams in the Publix aisles! Not knowing what they want! Lacking lists, sense, and the basics of Southern manners. Driving very stupid on roads as well!

Also! I made a $#@* fruitcake for the first and possible last time in my life this week. By the end of the day my dear husband, bless him, was supervising. I wanted to wrap the bourbon-soaked cheesecloth and plastic wrap around his dear head instead of the $#@% fruitcakes by nearly midnight that night. Hint: in future just consume the two cups of Kentucky bourbon and buy an Entenmann's and call it a day. I had to unwrap the suckers today and put warmed white corn syrup on them (I do not know why), then re-wrap with previous cheesecloth, adding more bourbon cheesecloth to them, wrap in plastic, and put in tin. At this point they may spontaneously ignite and begin my own Mayan Calendar. [Husband said his dear Yankee mother stored hers in a cedar-lined closet. I do not have a cedar-lined closet. I do have a cedar chest which now has my summer clothing and I am not putting the fruitcakes in there, no matter how cheerful and full of good will and love I feel]

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, raving lunatic about Benghazi at December 05, 2012 12:47 PM (baL2B)

308 Someone has been batin all over that poor tree.

Posted by: SpongeBob Saget at December 05, 2012 12:48 PM (epxV4)

309 bc having children in US schools now is akin to a hostage situation. It's so incredibly bad. And I'm talking about Catholic schools! public schools are worse, of course. but still, lots of suck You're telling me

Posted by: Kevin "Fisty" Jennings at December 05, 2012 12:48 PM (I2LwF)

310 did I ever tell you guys what I was dealing with from my son's school the other week? the local Dept of Child Welfare was involved! was super fun. I love my child's school! so so so much. can't afford private here. Catholic is a few grand a year; private starts at $14K. FOR ELEMENTARY!!! and the Charters in my area are hellish, seriously.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 12:48 PM (J6kXj)

311 That is what a "Holiday Tree" looks like. SHIT.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at December 05, 2012 12:49 PM (wR+pz)

312 Ace of Spades ... Not a Jew ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeC8nTYEwQQ

Posted by: Adam Sandler at December 05, 2012 12:51 PM (wwsoB)

313 Allen can't be a COB, he is going to start his own blog, I heard.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at December 05, 2012 12:51 PM (wR+pz)

314 Ace is loading up the WagonQueen Family Truckster and heading off to Wally World

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 05, 2012 12:52 PM (8sCoq)

315 It's the traditional meal of saltines and Cheeze Whiz, celebrated in the old homeland for centuries before the invasion of De Debil Honky.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 05, 2012 04:47 PM (yiIja)

----------------------------------------------

Capped off with fireside conversations over glasses of Night Train.

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 12:52 PM (vNrNd)

316 "Yesterday President Obama held such a session with most of MSNBC's prime-time hosts. The Weekly Standard's Daniel Halper, watching the Twitter feed of the Puffington Host's Jennifer Bendery, notes that the host guests included Al Sharpton, Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O'Donnell. BuzzFeed.com reports that Ed Schultz was there too."

Yep. Our problems are solved.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 05, 2012 12:52 PM (Hx5uv)

317 He wanted the Super Sportswagon in Antarctic Blue, but it didn't come in

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 05, 2012 12:52 PM (8sCoq)

318 #245- Yes, that's her. She also has some crafty-things show, I think. She has an interesting story - grew up dirt poor in a trailer outside Puyallup, mom was alcoholic or some such; lots of men coming thru the home when she was little. Finally got out, came to LA and started making poofy curtain things in the 80s. Business took off; dated Eli Broad's partner (Kaufman ?) for several years. Started a cooking show. She really made something of herself by working hard and saving. I'm surprised she's not a conservative.

Posted by: LASue at December 05, 2012 12:53 PM (gjIQF)

319 100 Edgar Winter is gonna be so pissed someone stole his tree. Posted by: mpfs at December 05, 2012 04:03 PM (iYbLN) Thread winner.

Posted by: lizardbrain at December 05, 2012 12:53 PM (EXDjY)

320 Ah, ceramic tigers. Elegant, sturdy, and bursting with class.

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 05, 2012 12:53 PM (8sCoq)

321

@307 - The local post office, a small place to begin with but a year ago functioning with two peoples behind the desk if there was a line, has been reduced to 1 irritable person a day, no matter the line or time. I have been told during their lunch break they CLOSE. This is your government at work, and a sign of Obamacare in our futures!

---------------------

My local post office relocated several blocks down the street that it was (and still is - just further down) located on a while back. Shortly after it reopened, I went in to buy a single stamp (I keep my stamps in my desk at work instead of at home because my apartment doesn't have an outgoing mailbox, and it's easier to handle that stuff at work; this particular time I was at home and needed to get something out before I went in to work). I looked and looked, but couldn't find the dispensor that sold stamps. But I kept looking because, after all, it had to be there. After all, it would be downright stupid not to have a machine that sold stamps.

Finally, I gave up looking. I went and stood in the (as usual) long line. And when I got to the front, I paid for my single stamp. And I asked the lady at the counter why they didn't have a machine that sold stamps.

"Not enough space for it."

Posted by: junior at December 05, 2012 12:53 PM (UWFpX)

322 So we can all surmise that Sandra Lee gives the best blowjob in America? No other way to describe this.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 05, 2012 12:54 PM (HDgX3)

323 @BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny

You might appreciate this, my wife got a call from my son's teacher yesterday. Apparently he was being disruptive during practice for a class show. The class show apparently involves clowns. The teacher called my wife to complain that my son was clowning around in clown practice. They can't get a 50% high school graduation rate, but have time to complain that a 4th grader is clowning around in clown practice.

Posted by: Penfold at December 05, 2012 12:54 PM (Fbt5B)

324 But still. Sheesh! Fucking pervs around here. Posted by: J.J. Sefton ********************** How YOU doin'?

Posted by: Your Average Moron at December 05, 2012 12:54 PM (g6f6y)

325 Did someone say fireside?

Well, warm up to this. It's a NYC tradition.

http://tinyurl.com/yse62q

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at December 05, 2012 12:54 PM (wR+pz)

326 Ace, take a well-deserved break. Nothing new will happen until you come back. Obama, the Democrats and MFM (birm) will still be heaping hot coals on Republicans' heads. Idiots all over the country will still be doing idiotic things. Egypt and Syria will keep burning. Europeans will continue their slide into the Mediterranean and some Hollywood celebrity will manage to have a public meltdown while spitting all over half of their potential audience.

Posted by: Decaf at December 05, 2012 12:54 PM (r9cEJ)

327 Ya gotta get yaself some mawble columns!

http://is.gd/6BkWXf

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 05, 2012 12:55 PM (8sCoq)

328 Behold our governor's live-in blowjob operator. Doesn't even have the brain power to post her fucking pics right side up.

Posted by: Christina Hendricks's Mighty Jugs are Really SMOD in Disguise at December 05, 2012 12:55 PM (g6f6y)

329 I understood about 3 out of every 10 words of dialogue.

Have you seen "Snatch" with Brad Pitt? We had to turn on close caption English to understand what he was saying. It was pretty funny..hate to admitt.

Posted by: Paladin at December 05, 2012 12:55 PM (4kpbt)

330 That's what every fruitcake needs: the not-so-faint aroma of cedar.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 05, 2012 12:56 PM (yiIja)

331 Big Boner is watching: Comservative House members report that they are being threatened with losing their committee assignments if they don't suck Obama's clitoris. Link in sig.

Posted by: Truman North at December 05, 2012 12:56 PM (I2LwF)

332 323. that's a good one! I got "he was drawing on his eraser - in pencil" THAT was a huge deal. the teacher was all "He has to replace this piece of equipment!!" I grabbed it and wiped the pencil off with my thumb

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 12:56 PM (J6kXj)

333 >Well, warm up to this. It's a NYC tradition.

if you click full screen it's like your laptop's on fire!

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 05, 2012 12:56 PM (8sCoq)

334 Looks like a yeti took a dump on Cuomo's carpet. Bad yeti!

Posted by: Rich at December 05, 2012 12:57 PM (rLXsW)

335

Dave could dip his Christmas Tree in boiling crap and he'd still this lose contest. Governor Cuomo for the WIN!

OMG...I think I just lost sight in one of my eyes.

Posted by: Bets at December 05, 2012 12:57 PM (uiGfM)

336 That tree reminds me of X-mas at my house circa 84. Whatta ya expect were Italian and from Jersey!!

Posted by: dananjcon at December 05, 2012 12:58 PM (jvd3N)

337 thanks dananjcon - everyone is kinda hurting my feelings here! it's RETRO people! and very, very Italian. whether or not it's Jewish-ish, I dunno. but there is really so little difference in some things

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 01:01 PM (J6kXj)

338 BlackOrchid, new teacher at my kid's school distributed some crap with Kwanzaa on it, not knowing I had previously gone to the head nun at the diocese over this. Letter went out Monday, I have an apology already. Spare the whip, spoil the teacher.

Posted by: Jean at December 05, 2012 01:03 PM (UjSt7)

339 Big Boner is watching: Comservative House members report that they are being threatened with losing their committee assignments if they don't suck Obama's clitoris.

Posted by: Truman North at December 05, 2012 04:56 PM

Fire Boehner: We Only Need 16 Votes to Depose Boehner

http://tinyurl.com/a4j28pp

Posted by: kbdabear at December 05, 2012 01:04 PM (wwsoB)

340

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 04:48 PM (J6kXj)

---

What did the DPW want with you? Are you killing newborn babies and hiring a 15 year old afterschooler to administer anesthesia to your illegal abortion clients?

'Cause if you are, you've no worries from PA DPW.

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 01:04 PM (jm/9g)

341 I'm reaching out to some folks to help cover my absence. If you'd like to do so, please email me. I'd be happy to pitch in. hat@politicalhat.com

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 05, 2012 01:04 PM (XvHmy)

342 The teacher called my wife to complain that my son was clowning around in clown practice.

That's beautiful and disturbing all swirled together and served with a light WTF coulis.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 01:04 PM (/kI1Q)

343 332 - You handled that nicely, i bet the teacher was shocked that you resolved the problem so easily.

Posted by: Penfold at December 05, 2012 01:06 PM (Fbt5B)

344 What's the traditional meal of kwanza?
---

From the folks at Salon:

"In the Kwanzaa ceremony there is an ear of Indian corn Â— dried corn Â— on the centerpiece for each child of the house. As somebody once said to me, Â“Corn is primordial,Â” because if you have corn, you have more corn in it. You can grow corn from corn, so itÂ’s a symbol of potential.

Corn is the only thing I know that is called for. There is supposed to be a basket of fruit on the table, but itÂ’s up to interpretation; thereÂ’s no mandated tradition. On my Kwanzaa centerpiece, I try to have black-eyed peas, yams, sugar cane, things that have significance to Africans and the places they have gone to."

Posted by: RioBravo at December 05, 2012 01:08 PM (eEfYn)

345

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 05:01 PM (J6kXj)

___

I dunno, my parents are from Italy, and we never had a tree like that. We usually had real trees from the outdoors and everything. (Although I must admit, I do harbor a secret lust for a pink foil tree.)

Sandra's tree looks more Polish to me.

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 01:08 PM (jm/9g)

346 Sandra's tree looks more Polish to me.
Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 05:08 PM (jm/9g)
-------
Like Hussar wings?

Posted by: RioBravo at December 05, 2012 01:09 PM (eEfYn)

347 Big Boner is watching: Comservative House members report that they are being threatened with losing their committee assignments if they don't suck Obama's clitoris. The quickest path between here and let-it-burn is for the GOP caucus to split deeply enough to lose the election for speaker. I never liked the expression, "Just sayin'," but I'm just sayin'. My preference is for holding the debt ceiling and bringing the shitpile crashing down on itself so TFG can be the face picking which factions of his Free Shit Army get shorted when the slop flow slows.

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at December 05, 2012 01:10 PM (V3kRK)

348

Posted by: RioBravo at December 05, 2012 05:09 PM (eEfYn)

___

I don't know what that is. Just remembering some of the trees at my Polish friends' houses.

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 01:10 PM (jm/9g)

349 Spare the whip, spoil the teacher. I like it. my new motto. No More Ms Nice Orchid. the school nurse called me during work (this is the third time from his school, and all the rest were IDIOTIC: chewed pencil so they thought lead poisoning, drew on leg while wearing shorts with pencil - again lead poisoning plus "self-harm") to let me know he had "hurt himself on purpose" during recess and "said he enjoyed it" when asked. he was right there eating a snack so I said "dude what happened?" he goes "we were playing Star Wars and friendName used the Force on me so I had to hit myself. I didn't hurt myself and I like the Star Wars game so I told the nurse that." I laughed on the phone and told the nurse that it was clearly no big deal. He didn't agree and again said "self-harm" - last time a year ago that they pinned this on him it was for writing on himself with his pencil, no scratches, not hard at all. the dude didn't appreciate my response so he reported me. I got a call from the county the next day at work!!!! playing Star Wars is "self harm." He's 7 and a little wuss, he would NEVER hurt himself. Ever. A papercut I hear about it for days. He's a little Woody Allen.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 01:11 PM (J6kXj)

350 You handled that nicely, i bet the teacher was shocked that you resolved the problem so easily. o she was shocked. that's how stupid these ladies are. yay PA Teachers' Colleges! So, so very worth it.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 01:13 PM (J6kXj)

351 "In the Kwanzaa ceremony there is an ear of Indian corn Â— dried corn Â—
on the centerpiece for each child of the house. As somebody once said
to me, Â“Corn is primordial,Â” because if you have corn, you have more
corn in it. You can grow corn from corn, so itÂ’s a symbol of potential.
Corn
is the only thing I know that is called for. There is supposed to be a
basket of fruit on the table, but itÂ’s up to interpretation; thereÂ’s no
mandated tradition. On my Kwanzaa centerpiece, I try to have black-eyed
peas, yams, sugar cane, things that have significance to Africans and
the places they have gone to."

Posted by: RioBravo at December 05, 2012 05:08 PM (eEfYn)

--------------------------------------------------

When do they do the kwanza dance. I've heard it's quite stirring.

Posted by: Soona at December 05, 2012 01:14 PM (vNrNd)

352 chewed pencil so they thought lead poisoning

Lead (Pb) poisoning from carbon (C).

Call the Nobel committee, your kid's an alchemist.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 05, 2012 01:14 PM (/kI1Q)

353 kallisto I think it's more cultural for the area where we are, not really Polish or Italian or whatever. On our street in South Philly we had a bunch of nationalities and they all liked foil trees! hee hee and plastic on the couches. for similar reasons!

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 01:14 PM (J6kXj)

354 Heather that was the funniest part. He knew that pencils are graphite! and told the nurse that! which just pissed off the nurse EVEN MORE they don't like my family very much. we have two brain cells to rub together. that's somehow unfair.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 01:15 PM (J6kXj)

355 at this point I stay in the school purely out of spite. I'm dead serious. I love the looks on their faces when I show up to things. The principal runs away. And that was with Ms Nice Orchid! wait til they get a load of me NOW (parent-teacher is next week. get ready for a "well we're eating the cost of private school now" post in about a week)

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 01:16 PM (J6kXj)

356 @342, My wife was pissed. She made him write an apology to the teacher. Oddly, my son wants to participate in this affair, which blows my mind because I find clowns to be terrifying, thanks a rather tragic clown incident in my childhood.

The teacher is not actually bad, she is good and seems thus far to genuinely care for my son's education, but he is pissing her off by refusing to do classwork and it is driving the teacher nuts. We have punished him several times for that already this year. She had called me the Wednesday before Thanksgiving distraught that my son was not doing his classwork. She was genuinely upset that he was not doing his classwork and that she was running out of options. She did not try to blame us and my son got punished again. I must note for the record, I expect my son to do his classwork and respect his teachers.

Posted by: Penfold at December 05, 2012 01:18 PM (Fbt5B)

357

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 05:14 PM (J6kXj)

My mom was such an outlier...we never had the plastic slipcovers either. And when we would go visiting at Christmas, I'd come home and ask her for a foil tree, she'd be all GTFOOH. Except she didn't use the "f" word, she just had the attitude.

I think I'll get a pink foil tree this Christmas, and yell up at her in Heaven: LOOK AT ME MA!

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 01:19 PM (jm/9g)

358 I'm sure I see Captain Dallas in that tree.

Posted by: Javems at December 05, 2012 01:21 PM (c8xU9)

359 BlackOrchid, where did you find lead pencils - mail order from some French art supply company?

Posted by: Jean at December 05, 2012 01:21 PM (LnQr8)

360 Commando
- "Get to dah choppah!"

I'm sure it's been pointed out a few dozen times, but that's from Predator, not Commando.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 05, 2012 01:21 PM (i0App)

361 In other news, one of the best side effects of the massive amounts of NyQuil I've been chugging lately to deal with this season's "ick"...is that I really couldn't be persuaded to give a shit about anyone's cliff. We may want to christen NyQuil as the official beverage of LiB/MiB/WiB. Posted by: Rob McNeece at December 05, 2012 04:07 PM (hNXHo) A little mood music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqUmMCb4r-U

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 05, 2012 01:22 PM (XvHmy)

362 Hope you have a restful break, ace. We all need it.

Posted by: Y-not at December 05, 2012 01:25 PM (5H6zj)

363 #355

This year, and last year, we had much better relations with our son's teacher and school. Our son is special needs and the school is providing services. His 2nd grade teacher I would not piss on if she was on fire.

Posted by: Penfold at December 05, 2012 01:27 PM (Fbt5B)

364 Seriously Black Orchid, any "nurse" that thinks you can get lead poisoning from a pencil is a hack and needs to go. Her going to CPS over this screams management problem, copy the principal on your letter to higher - demand an off-site meeting at the diocese hq. Drag them out of their little world.

Posted by: Jean at December 05, 2012 01:29 PM (g2ldK)

365 Jean it's a guy! like an old man nurse. and he's really strange and GRUMPTASTIC I doubt he's actually a nurse at all. Principal is useless. Already spoke with priest - we have no pastor yet, and the only person the principal answers to is the pastor. Which we don't have. Same principal since school was built, so 13 years of her. She has no educational background at all. Lot of her hires are her friends and family. It's a lovely situation. I just plan on out-stubborning them. Plus, I have some contacts in the Archdiocese. Haven't played that hand. Yet.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 01:38 PM (J6kXj)

366

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 05, 2012 05:38 PM (J6kXj)

___

This is in Chester County? It sounds more like something that would happen in Cecil County MD.

Posted by: kallisto at December 05, 2012 01:40 PM (jm/9g)

367 New York guido tree...surprised it's not covered in plastic...

Posted by: Mudshark at December 05, 2012 01:52 PM (5GzEQ)

368 Is that Sandra Lee's initials on that tree?

Posted by: Long Island at December 05, 2012 02:13 PM (hl8SI)

369 #318 Further info on Sandra Lee: When she designed those puffy cutain things (all the rage in the 80's) she sold them at Home Shows. She wanted to do an infomercial and she used a lot of grit and got Florence Henderson to do the infomercial show with her. She admired Florence a lot (I personally think that Florence's starring in The Brady Bunch was the ideal mom she never had, which is sort of touching). Her recipes and party ideas came from trying to make nice birthday parties for her younger siblings, which she did with Food Stamps.

I think she is a democrat because she grew up in a welfare situation and feels like it is what saved her family. I think with her curtain money (she made a lot) she put her siblings through college.

So I classify her as a misguided person and although I do NOT like her recipes, she has made something of herself and got her family off welfare.

If Cuomo runs he will have to make an honest woman of her, as they are not married now. I wonder what Cardinal Dolan thinks when he has to attend functions in the Governor's Mansion.

Posted by: Miss Marple at December 05, 2012 02:34 PM (GoIUi)

370 Don't worry Ace..the shock therapy isn't that bad.
I feel fine now.

Posted by: Sylvia Plathe at December 05, 2012 02:58 PM (Z0mn0)

371 It's got that flashy and overdone style that Italian Americans like. I should know. And yes, I like it for what it is. I wonder if the tree matches other silver glitzy furnishings in that room?

Posted by: snowcrash at December 05, 2012 03:22 PM (I30qo)

372 370 Don't worry Ace..the shock therapy isn't that bad.
I feel fine now.

Posted by: Sylvia Plathe at December 05, 2012 06:58 PM (Z0mn0)

However, please avoid gas ovens.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, raving lunatic about Benghazi at December 05, 2012 03:25 PM (baL2B)

373 It looks like a set piece from "Christmas with the Drow."

Posted by: Glen at December 05, 2012 03:32 PM (K1CbB)

374 Worst. Tablescape. Ever.

Posted by: SicSemperTyrannus at December 05, 2012 03:33 PM (EAESv)

375 Enjoy, Ace.....

Posted by: fu52 at December 05, 2012 04:13 PM (NYXC6)

376 Godspeed, good Ewok

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at December 05, 2012 04:53 PM (G73Lf)

377 Have a great time and a good recharge. Try to put this stuff on the backburner. You'll play better and recharge the batteries more, if you aren't cheating by "checking in" and dragging your work with you as well. (pot calling kettle..

Posted by: I'd rather be surfin at December 05, 2012 05:47 PM (OTWsz)

378 What's the tree topper? Looks like 2 quite geese-a-laying?

Posted by: L is screaming, show up damn SMOD! at December 05, 2012 09:50 PM (0PiQ4)

379 Last!

Posted by: L is screaming, show up damn SMOD! at December 05, 2012 09:51 PM (0PiQ4)

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