Ace of Spades HQ

September 27, 2012

Happy Wife Gives Husband The Gift of Song As a Wedding Present
— Ace

So... I'm not getting the PS3 I actually asked for, huh?

Also, the worst death scene ever put in a movie. It's from the Turks, of course.

Posted by: Ace at 01:53 PM | Comments (119)
Post contains 51 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Worst movie death scene ever.

Did this guy go to the William Shatner school of acting?

Posted by: dantesed at September 27, 2012 01:56 PM (DY2X5)

2 1st !! or FOIST

Posted by: Evilpens at September 27, 2012 01:56 PM (ck76k)

3 I watched about 45 seconds of the broad singing. Was waiting for the punchline. Is that thing for realz, yo?

Posted by: eastvalleyphx says fuck islam at September 27, 2012 01:56 PM (GRvW4)

4 Speaking of dying in the movies, I just got home, turned on the tv and a random Sean Bean movie was on. I waited 30 seconds and, sure enough, he died.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Whiteboard 2012 at September 27, 2012 01:56 PM (Gk3SS)

5 The book on the table at the beginning of the wedding gift video. "The Flapping Wife". So close, just remove the "L".

Posted by: Adam at September 27, 2012 01:57 PM (/YJYi)

6 Women like that are the reason I'm still single and living alone.

Posted by: Ben at September 27, 2012 01:57 PM (xTHBC)

7 I bet she violently murders him in 5 years.

Posted by: lorien1973 at September 27, 2012 01:57 PM (mcWHD)

8 And it aint like she's ugly. I'd hit it.

Posted by: eastvalleyphx says fuck islam at September 27, 2012 01:57 PM (GRvW4)

9 She shot Torgo! Noooo!

Posted by: galosgann at September 27, 2012 01:58 PM (evvN+)

10 Democrat. Fair hooters though.

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 27, 2012 01:58 PM (ccXZP)

11 I'd hit it.

Posted by: fluffy at September 27, 2012 01:58 PM (O6q63)

12 Creepy.

Posted by: eureka! at September 27, 2012 01:58 PM (cTjRR)

13 That gal is going to be so disappointed when she figures out her husband is gay. Macchiatos in the hood...really?

Posted by: no good deed at September 27, 2012 02:00 PM (mjR67)

14 That music video froze my computer. I got to see that lady frozen in mid-song (with gaping mouth) for 40 seconds.

Posted by: weew at September 27, 2012 02:00 PM (ElfHn)

15 Jesus.

Shut your mouth or use it in a more constructive way. All he wanted was a BJ anyways.

Posted by: Uriah Heep at September 27, 2012 02:00 PM (Wa+Fw)

16 All he wanted was a BJ anyways.

Posted by: Uriah Heep at September 27, 2012 06:00 PM (Wa+Fw)

Nah, he looks like one of those douchebags that considers a blowjob demeaning to women.

Posted by: eastvalleyphx says fuck islam at September 27, 2012 02:01 PM (GRvW4)

17 I think the Sean Connery death scene in The Untouchables was about 20 minutes longer than this.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at September 27, 2012 02:02 PM (V6bSt)

18 Egads! I'm glad my husband prefers steak and...

Posted by: Y-not at September 27, 2012 02:02 PM (5H6zj)

19 Breaking: US State Department Is Removing Staff From Tripoli, Libya

On the ball, those Staters...

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at September 27, 2012 02:02 PM (CdCPN)

20 I look forward to his Divorce Song video

Posted by: weew at September 27, 2012 02:02 PM (ElfHn)

21 Its only a flesh wound....

Posted by: Meme Man! at September 27, 2012 02:02 PM (lZBBB)

22 That was the dude who is now the Burger King's first gig, right?

Posted by: Gunslinger at September 27, 2012 02:03 PM (4S7hN)

Wait... was the death scene what happened to the guy who the first video is singing too???

Please.... put him out of our misery!

Posted by: Meme Man! at September 27, 2012 02:03 PM (lZBBB)

24 She singing happily because she knows she's given the penultimate beejeer to Mr. Wonderful.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 27, 2012 02:03 PM (BAS5M)

25 Starving for material, are we?

Posted by: logprof at September 27, 2012 02:03 PM (V/U0X)

26 I've done my good deed for the decade. I was taking a break outside my building and came across a drunk passed out half in the street the other half on the sidewalk. The shopping cart was also in the street. Called the cops and paramedics. Of course they knew him, chronic alcoholic I just didn't want anyone to hit him with their car. Let me rephrase that...I didn't want to ruin my Mustang if I hit the guy.

I work in a wonderful neighborhood.

Posted by: mpfs at September 27, 2012 02:03 PM (iYbLN)

27 I think after Doc Holiday shot Johnny Ringo in the head and he still managed to walk 6 feet and choke and shoot the ground was pretty bad (Kilmer and Biehn).

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 27, 2012 02:04 PM (0CiTm)

28 Justifiable homicide, methinks. And yes, I'm talking about the first vid. I lasted 5 seconds.

Posted by: jakeman at September 27, 2012 02:04 PM (96M6e)

29 I like how the woman in the second video would wait for Nosferatu to scream for awhile before she pulled the trigger again...and then again...and then again.

Posted by: kathysaysso at September 27, 2012 02:05 PM (ZtwUX)

30 I think the Sean Connery death scene in The Untouchables was about 20 minutes longer than this. Posted by: Dr. Varno

Yeah but it was Sean "Fucking" Connery.

"What are you prepared to do!"

Posted by: mpfs at September 27, 2012 02:05 PM (iYbLN)

31 uh, which one was the wedding song, and which was the death scene?

Posted by: guywhomythicallybangsMeganFox at September 27, 2012 02:05 PM (Ga0OU)

No kids...just a Cat...in the 'Wedding Present Video'.

Heh.

Cowards.

Get back to us after you have a couple of kids.

Posted by: wheatie at September 27, 2012 02:06 PM (l5RhJ)

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 27, 2012 06:04 PM (0CiTm)

You're no daisy....

Posted by: Doc Holliday at September 27, 2012 02:06 PM (lZBBB)

34 Dude tries too hard. But which one?

Posted by: derit at September 27, 2012 02:07 PM (I88Jc)

35 I lasted a minute into the first video. I thought the book on the table was titled The Fapping Wife.

Posted by: mpfs at September 27, 2012 02:07 PM (iYbLN)

36 The first video is like the white version of the Obama-Phone lady. They both make me ashamed of the human race.

Posted by: lowandslow at September 27, 2012 02:07 PM (GZitp)

37 jakeman's rules for a happy marriage: 1) No self-written vows 2) No songs 3) Make me a sammich I think that just about covers it.

Posted by: jakeman at September 27, 2012 02:07 PM (96M6e)

38 I love the first comment on youtube about the wedding video.

KILL IT!

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Posted by: General Woundwort at September 27, 2012 02:08 PM (06lNq)

39 I'm your huckleberry.

Posted by: mpfs at September 27, 2012 02:08 PM (iYbLN)

40 The 'terminator' death scene at the end of Breaking Bad last season (I give no further details so as to avoid spoiler) was pretty crazy, in the sense of somebody continuing to act long after they should be dead.

Posted by: wooga at September 27, 2012 02:08 PM (vjyZP)

41 If she's that attentive and creative in giving me blow jobs the rest of my life then........... ...........oh who the fuck am I kidding............ ......I'm planning my own homicide as I type this......

Posted by: Happy Husband at September 27, 2012 02:08 PM (AzwZn)

42 Best death scene is OJ in Naked Gun... except he didn't die.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at September 27, 2012 02:10 PM (V6bSt)

The 'terminator' death scene at the end of Breaking Bad last season

====

You mean when he adjusts his tie?

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 27, 2012 02:10 PM (0CiTm)

44 yeah, I could only take about 5 seconds of the wedding song but the death scene rocked!

Posted by: PR at September 27, 2012 02:10 PM (KHo8t)

45 CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!!!!

Posted by: Redd at September 27, 2012 02:10 PM (guxHP)

46 I'm reasonably sure it was a chick just like this one that Meat Loaf was singing about in Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 27, 2012 02:11 PM (ccXZP)

47 We'll just let the viewers decide if the song was one given in love or hate.

Posted by: Glenn Kessler 'Fact Check' at September 27, 2012 02:12 PM (eHIJJ)

48 If you put her singing to that guy dying, or his death sounds to her video; you've got something.

Posted by: lorien1973 at September 27, 2012 02:12 PM (mcWHD)

49 Jimmy Smits died over two episodes in NYPD Blue. Hellish.

The singing wife is sweet, a little odd, built like a brick shithouse.

Posted by: SurferDoc at September 27, 2012 02:13 PM (6H6FZ)

50 42 If she's that attentive and creative in giving me blow jobs the rest of my life then........... ...........oh who the fuck am I kidding............ ......I'm planning my own homicide as I type this...... hahaha...there is no upside.

Posted by: mare at September 27, 2012 02:13 PM (A98Xu)

51 WhY diDn't roMney SiNg to us lAsT wEEk???!^#*@

FreeMormon ConSPiracY ACK!@THHPPP!

Posted by: Reaality Cherk [/i] [/b] at September 27, 2012 02:13 PM (CdCPN)

52 About the wedding video: there is cute and then there is projectile vomiting.

Posted by: mpfs at September 27, 2012 02:14 PM (iYbLN)

53 Not a death scene, per se, but when Laurence Olivier rended his sleeve and declared in a weird Yiddish accent "I haf no son," that was hideous. The remake of "The Jazz Singer" with Neil Diamond.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 27, 2012 02:14 PM (+tqYo)

54 CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!!!!

Posted by: Redd at September 27, 2012 06:10 PM (guxHP)

Too late bro. He's in, and he aint gettin out. That bitch would hang him on a meat hook if he tried to run ... I know these chicks. I've dated these chicks.

Posted by: eastvalleyphx says fuck islam at September 27, 2012 02:14 PM (GRvW4)

55 At least the song wasn't "Puberty Love'....

Posted by: Killer Tomato, Attacking at September 27, 2012 02:14 PM (lZBBB)

56 56

Or Muskrat Love.

Blechhhhhh

Posted by: mpfs at September 27, 2012 02:15 PM (iYbLN)

57 attentive and creative in giving me blow jobs the rest of my life then I'm gonna lay it out for you, straight up, Happy Husband: this type of behavior is inversely proportional to teh beejez.

Posted by: jakeman at September 27, 2012 02:16 PM (96M6e)

58 OMG.....I laughed through the whole death scene! WTH is that from?

I didn't even make it to 30 seconds on the stupid wife video. Good Lord....

Posted by: Tami at September 27, 2012 02:16 PM (X6akg)

59 Obama voters. You know it.

Here's the evidence:
- New age-y "spirituality"
- Sunday New York Times reference
- Bike riders
- He arranges the "market flowers."
- "Civilianaire"
- They write "organic cards."
- Cat owners (I'm sorry Heather Radish)
- She's going to hyphenate her last name.
- Chakra reference
- All of their depicted acquaintances look like OWS types.

So, basically, bless their hearts.

Posted by: Kensington at September 27, 2012 02:16 PM (znT2j)

60 i like her in the ework outfit, i have to admit.....

Posted by: guywhomythicallybangsMeganFox at September 27, 2012 02:17 PM (Ga0OU)

61 That Stepford Wife was creepy.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 27, 2012 02:17 PM (jucos)

62 I bet her taste in divorce lawyers runs on the expensive side, too.

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 27, 2012 02:18 PM (ccXZP)

63 She is in need of some hot mean monkey love. More humming less singing.

Posted by: Mr boner at September 27, 2012 02:18 PM (Fr8N6)

17 All he wanted was a BJ anyways.

Posted by: Uriah Heep at September 27, 2012 06:00 PM (Wa+Fw)

Nah, he looks like one of those douchebags that considers a blowjob demeaning to women.

Posted by: eastvalleyphx says fuck islam

Isn't that the point?

As an aside. Never laugh at your own jokes. My wife read it over my shoulder and I'm afraid she's laughing at me not with me.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at September 27, 2012 02:19 PM (Rrc6j)

65 That Turkish guy acted the hell out that scene. Acted it so damn hard. Just took that scene and bent it over and acted it until it passed out from terror and a prolapsed rectum. Really good stuff. Kind of reminds me of a less ironic version of the awesome Italian Spiderman series.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at September 27, 2012 02:19 PM (+lsX1)

66 teh beejez.

Posted by: jakeman at September 27, 2012 06:16 PM (96M6e)

Oh... I loved when they sang Saturday Night Fever!

Posted by: Clueless at September 27, 2012 02:19 PM (lZBBB)

67 I bet she would look good with my penis in her mouth

Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 27, 2012 02:19 PM (jucos)

68 She expects him to do all that from the song with her? It's safe to conclude that she's his beard.

Posted by: Speller at September 27, 2012 02:19 PM (J74Py)

69 Hold on a sec. Which one was the death scene?

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at September 27, 2012 02:20 PM (Rrc6j)

70 Oh my Gawd, is that broad for real? I can't imagine the issues she brings to the table. I wasn't before, but now I'm actually ready to start a 'War on Women'. Not all of them, or most of them, or even some of them, but her? My guess is they're married two months before she 'goes lesbo' with the wife next door.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at September 27, 2012 02:20 PM (feFL6)

53 About the wedding video: there is cute and then there is projectile vomiting.

Heh.

I predict they will be divorced in a year.

Happens every time someone makes a big brag in public about how 'great' their marriage is.

It's sort of like Fight Club. ....First Rule, is to not talk about it.

Posted by: wheatie at September 27, 2012 02:21 PM (l5RhJ)

72 He likes big black c*%~k, especially when I am wearing it.

Posted by: Strap on Sally at September 27, 2012 02:21 PM (Fr8N6)

73 It was like she was singing the guys prison sentence.

Posted by: slatz at September 27, 2012 02:21 PM (fAVBA)

74 Gift of song? I'd have settled for a hummer.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 27, 2012 02:22 PM (EYfcP)

Posted by: SchrÃ¶dinger's cat at September 27, 2012 06:20 PM (feFL6)

Nah.... she got EXACTLY what she wanted... a Wimp... will find herself unsatisfied... and eventualy figure out she needs a MAN...

Old story.... playing out all around us....

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 27, 2012 02:23 PM (lZBBB)

76 There's a great line from MST3K's "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank." Raul Julia turns some card into a bunch of flowers, and he's walking over to give them to some woman, one of the guys says, "i'm going to give the hell out of these flowers!" Every once in a while, i see or hear something that makes me think of that line, slightly modified to fit the current scenario. That guy's death scene is one of those times.

Posted by: Occam's Safety Razor at September 27, 2012 02:23 PM (8Mgrk)

77 Ace meant "best death scene ever."

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 27, 2012 02:23 PM (Iyg03)

78 Unattractive, asexual female marries a gay man. Might as well be Trinity United in Chicago.

Posted by: Nukie at September 27, 2012 02:24 PM (AzwZn)

79 If this video isn't evidence in a murder trial the world makes no sense.

Posted by: Big E at September 27, 2012 02:24 PM (Vn0cP)

I think this wedding proposal is much better than the wedding song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWJpJLJSPU8

Posted by: buzzion - Free Kratos at September 27, 2012 02:25 PM (GULKT)

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 27, 2012 06:23 PM (Iyg03)

Not even close....

Exhibit 1? Khan... in the Star Trek 2, the Wrath of Khan....

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 27, 2012 02:25 PM (lZBBB)

82 Kate Voegele's cover of "Hallelujah" is another one of those times. Whenever i hear that, i immediately hear her saying, "i'm gonna sing the hell out of this song!"

Posted by: Occam's Safety Razor at September 27, 2012 02:25 PM (8Mgrk)

83 Dang you people are cynical. I liked it, and thought she was quite attractive.

Posted by: pep at September 27, 2012 02:29 PM (6TB1Z)

84 Well, maybe not "liked" it. I skipped through most of it, assuming there would be no nudity. Still, it was nice enough. The husband is lucky. I wish I had what he has.

Oh, wait. I do.

Posted by: pep at September 27, 2012 02:30 PM (6TB1Z)

85 I had to go listen to some Wendy O. Williams to get that creepy wife song out of my head. In case anyone else needs the remedy:

http://tinyurl.com/9hy8o82

Posted by: kathysaysso at September 27, 2012 02:30 PM (ZtwUX)

86 Imagine for a moment you creating a song like this for your spouse.

Mrs Trainer, even after 40 years, would be packing to move to her mother's before the song was done.

Posted by: trainer (formerly banned) at September 27, 2012 02:31 PM (1QEkm)

87 I watched the whole thing waiting for the bikini and lingerie shots.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 27, 2012 02:36 PM (3dElm)

88 I can't believe I lost the role to this guy! And I'm out airfare!

Posted by: Jon Lovitz at September 27, 2012 02:37 PM (AzwZn)

89 34 Posted by: USS Diversity at September 27, 2012 06:04 PM (0CiTm)

You're no daisy... You got that right

Posted by: Daisy at September 27, 2012 02:41 PM (4h5id)

90 I imagine Osama Bin Laden died exactly like that...

Posted by: Mr Wolf, ESQ at September 27, 2012 02:42 PM (UIAT6)

91 Best death scene ever? I nominate anything shot with the nose camera on a Predator drone.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at September 27, 2012 02:46 PM (Jdtsu)

92 Your Man Card has been revoked, pep, unless you become a cynical bastard like the rest of us.

Posted by: jakeman at September 27, 2012 02:48 PM (96M6e)

93 I made it t 1:50 of the happy wife vid, if it had stopped there i would have reluctantly given it a thumbs up, but i can only assume it kept up with the scmaltz for another two plus minutes so therefore i must fart in it's general direction.

Posted by: booger at September 27, 2012 02:57 PM (HI6wa)

94 I liked the new wife's video - guess I'm not as bitter and "edgy" as the rest of you horrible fucking losers. I'm a lonely but sweet horrible fucking loser.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at September 27, 2012 03:11 PM (T+lH2)

95 There is literally nothing I could say about this that would not be bitter, vulgar, or self-pitying. So I'm going to comment anyway, because INTERNET.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 27, 2012 03:22 PM (bxiXv)

Wedding Video Surprise

subtitled

"I'm over thirty and desperate. Once I have a kid I'm divorcing your ass."

Posted by: Alex at September 27, 2012 03:24 PM (/nZEe)

97 The cat seems to get nearly as much airtime* as hubby. That's NEVER a good sign.

On the upside, she'll surely take the cat with her when she dumps him.

*I did have to kill the sound to get all the way through. True confession.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at September 27, 2012 03:39 PM (Jdtsu)

98 That music video froze my computer. I got to see that lady frozen in mid-song (with gaping mouth) for 40 seconds.

Posted by: weew at September 27, 2012 06:00 PM (ElfHn).................................Could you forward a screen cap? Thanks in advance. Ill be in my bunk if you need me.

Posted by: Minnfidel at September 27, 2012 03:40 PM (bXdYS)

99 Turning the sound off. Damn, why didn't I think of that? She's pretty smokiin!

Posted by: Minnfidel at September 27, 2012 03:42 PM (bXdYS)

100 I just hope she gave him the nude private copy of the video later.

It does prove to me that being thoughtful isn't always what it is cracked up to be.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at September 27, 2012 03:43 PM (PHb2k)

101 Oh, forgot to add. He looks like a major league douche. He's fugly too.

Posted by: Minnfidel at September 27, 2012 03:43 PM (bXdYS)

102 Message to the dude getting married to the wedding song girl... Run bro, RUN!,,

Posted by: Gmland at September 27, 2012 03:54 PM (CgSDu)

103 Seems like with all that "AAAAAAHHHH"ing the guy could have returned fire.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at September 27, 2012 03:54 PM (M2x4y)

104 one of the guys says, "i'm going to give the hell out of these flowers!"

Heh. I noticed they like that turn of phrase. The MST3K crew also sent up "Agent from HARM" where Peter Mark Richman plays the most geriatric secret agent since, well, I don't know when.

"Watch me wear the hell out of this cardigan!"

As for the death scene, I didn't know Turkey had their own version of the Blackadder...

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at September 27, 2012 04:01 PM (PMGbu)

105 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at September 27, 2012 04:10 PM (6o4Fb)

106 The thread is dead and this may have been mentioned above but no way I'm reading it all.... Take a look at the gesture she's making in the freeze frame, with her thumb and forefinger about an inch apart. Subliminal comment about tiny manhood?

Posted by: jakeman at September 27, 2012 04:23 PM (96M6e)

107 This reminds me of that site "Stuff White People Like".

Posted by: Book at September 27, 2012 04:36 PM (2wHxM)

108 I don't care if you mock me.

I watched the entire video and think it is darling.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 27, 2012 04:59 PM (piMMO)

109 That music video froze my computer. I got to see that lady frozen in mid-song (with gaping mouth) for 40 seconds.

Intel Inside has a eFuse they can trigger to blow when it senses homo on that scale.

Posted by: Uriah Heep at September 27, 2012 05:09 PM (Wa+Fw)

110 I watched some of that lady singing. I think I just shit in my mouth a little.

Posted by: Dang© at September 27, 2012 05:09 PM (R18D0)

111 Us black-hearted cynics still love you, NDH.

Posted by: MFM at September 27, 2012 05:23 PM (96M6e)

112 Stupid sock....I am NOT the MFM. But you're OK by me, NDH.

Posted by: jakeman at September 27, 2012 05:27 PM (96M6e)

113 Stupid sock....I am NOT the MFM. But you're OK by me, NDH.

****

Well, at the start of the video, I was wisecracking and cynical too. But I forged ahead and then realized that she spent a tremendous amount of time and energy in doing something that opened herself up for ridicule if it went well, and to torment if it went poorly, all in an effort to do something unique and special for someone she loves.

Problem solved.

It's really pretty wonderful.

Posted by: MSNBC at September 27, 2012 05:38 PM (piMMO)

114 Off sock!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 27, 2012 05:39 PM (piMMO)

115 "she spent a tremendous amount of time and energy in doing something that opened herself up for ridicule if it went well, and to torment if it went poorly, all in an effort to do something unique and special for someone she loves."

That reminds me. Monica Lewinsky is writing a tell all book.

Posted by: Dang© at September 27, 2012 05:43 PM (R18D0)

116 Wedding song video seems to be dead. Says "This is a private video." Nothing. Death scene was cool. Guy was one tough SOB. Took a lot of hits from what looks like a 38 special, maybe more than 6, but I wasn't counting.

Posted by: jbarntt at September 27, 2012 05:55 PM (UNFot)

117 If she forgot the words, would she just hum?

Posted by: Baldy at September 27, 2012 06:10 PM (opS9C)

118 the singing girl link is dead. All I can see is the still shot of her kneeling and making a gesture with her hand. From the comments, I can only assume she is referencing the size of dick of the guy she is marrying.....

Posted by: van at September 28, 2012 04:50 AM (ImpgP)

119 Not the worst death scene ever, watch the movie, "Weasels ripped my Fleash"

Posted by: Dumpsterjuice at September 28, 2012 06:36 AM (79XqU)

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