Ace of Spades HQ

April 18, 2012

Hey, Anyone Feel Like Playing Dark Tower?
— Ace

Flash version.

I died.

Though I did, as promised, "journey backwards in time to the medieval world of Dark Tower."

But seriously I died twice more. Is there some reason I cannot beat a game designed for little children?

Posted by: Ace at 04:29 PM | Comments (156)
Post contains 53 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Was kill by dog eating marauders.

Posted by: sTevo at April 18, 2012 04:19 PM (VMcEw)

2 Dude, I've posted that vid at least twice in ONTs!

Epic commercial. Also good is this one with a classic Hollywood star:

http://youtu.be/11Eh37A1AVM

Posted by: logprof at April 18, 2012 04:31 PM (ykSKg)

3 In all seriousness, I've never played Dark Tower but heard it was a lot of fun and fetches a high price today.

Posted by: logprof at April 18, 2012 04:33 PM (ykSKg)

4 Dark Tower?

Posted by: charlie gibson at April 18, 2012 04:34 PM (NG097)

5 Dark Tower sounds very raaaaacist.

#JusticeforDarkTower

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 18, 2012 04:38 PM (ccXZP)

6 Critical Tower Theory says the Black Tower should always win.

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at April 18, 2012 04:39 PM (QKKT0)

Dark Tower?

I have power that you do not suspect ...

Posted by: Goodgulf at April 18, 2012 04:40 PM (jDGy7)

8 That's too much like real life; finding/earning/stealing money; paying employees(warriors); losing money or employees and losing the game; failing to find all the keys you need.

I want a distraction when I play games, not more worries and disappointments. That's why RPG's never interested me.

First person shooter's baby! Destroying pixels, that's the way to have fun and feel empowered.

Posted by: Mitt Better Pander a Little to the Base. at April 18, 2012 04:42 PM (CP+yl)

9 Keep firing, assholes!

Posted by: Dark Helmet at April 18, 2012 04:43 PM (QKKT0)

10 Can we watch the Dark Crystal, instead?

Posted by: garrett at April 18, 2012 04:43 PM (cupv8)

11
Dark Tower? Oh yeah, she was the tall black Panamanian hooker working in the Cartegena Case de Putas.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at April 18, 2012 04:44 PM (TkGkA)

12 Is there some reason I cannot beat a game designed for little children?

*nervous glances all around*

Posted by: Cicero at April 18, 2012 04:45 PM (QKKT0)

13 Oh yeah, she was the tall black Panamanian hooker working in the Cartegena Case de Putas.

That was a tranny.

Posted by: wooga at April 18, 2012 04:46 PM (vjyZP)

14 Sens goal at last. Rangers 2 Senators 1.

Posted by: logprof at April 18, 2012 04:47 PM (ykSKg)

15 12 Is there some reason I cannot beat a game designed for little children?

*nervous glances all around*

Posted by: Cicero at April 18, 2012 08:45 PM (QKKT0)

--Just 'cause it was Milton Bradley does not mean it was for kids. See also Axis and Allies.

Posted by: logprof at April 18, 2012 04:48 PM (ykSKg)

Is there some reason I cannot beat a game designed for little children?

You should never lay siege to a tower before your time ...

Posted by: Goodgulf at April 18, 2012 04:48 PM (jDGy7)

17 Dogmeat on a plate

Posted by: blogdorce one at April 18, 2012 04:51 PM (fVfhY)

18
heh.

Posted by: newb at April 18, 2012 04:51 PM (HOOye)

19 How many close loops did you see?

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at April 18, 2012 04:51 PM (NVu2l)

20 games for children? I'm in. Hold my knob.

Posted by: Polanski at April 18, 2012 04:51 PM (OhYCU)

21 The usual, Mr. President?

One Salty Dog, coming up!

Posted by: Barkeep at April 18, 2012 04:52 PM (ykSKg)

22 There's actually an interesting trade secrets lawsuit story surrounding the game. It can be found out on the interwebs.

Just mentioning.

Posted by: The Peasants at April 18, 2012 04:52 PM (bS027)

23 I loved this game growing up...so hard to find, even on ebay.

Posted by: Jeff at April 18, 2012 04:53 PM (Bd6qb)

I had that board game and played it often with my brother and Dad. Great game.

Thanks for the great memory out of nowhere, Ace.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 18, 2012 04:54 PM (+JIjV)

25 Is there some reason I cannot beat a game designed for little children?

Because the game is a function of pure random chance? There is no strategy to make you better. Dumb luck will win a game eventually.

Posted by: lorien1973 at April 18, 2012 04:55 PM (0tkqC)

26 Alright, who do I sue to get that five minutes of my life back?

Posted by: Mark formerly in Spokane,now in Sandy Ut at April 18, 2012 04:56 PM (8ac7j)

27 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 04:57 PM (7W3wI)

28
DARK TOWER?[//b]
This is a nasty raaaaacist game invent by so money grubbing jooo to put down the black man.

Posted by: Loopy Louie Farrakhan at April 18, 2012 04:57 PM (eXigD)

29 Video games are the ultimate time-sink (well, that and online porn, depending on how long you take) You spend a couple hours of life, and what have you accomplished? At least with porn, you're contributing to prostate health

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 04:57 PM (AxHOT)

30 At least with porn, you're contributing to prostate health

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 08:57 PM (AxHOT)

Also blindness and hairy palms. Be careful.

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 04:59 PM (XkVVw)

Video games are the ultimate time-sink (well, that and online porn, depending on how long you take) You spend a couple hours of life, and what have you accomplished? At least with porn, you're contributing to prostate health<<<<

You have to set a time limit with video games and porn, like any leisure activity, or the relaxation benefits are offset by the bad habits you form.

Like gently annoying your penis for an hour while flipping through porn - that's sending the wrong message to your bozack.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 18, 2012 05:02 PM (+JIjV)

32 29 Video games are the ultimate time-sink

Red Dead Redemption and Skyrim are more enjoyable than all forms of TV or film. Except stuff with Jasmine Byrne.

Posted by: wooga at April 18, 2012 05:02 PM (vjyZP)

33 The man in black fled across the desert; and the gunslinger said 'fuck it', shot the bastard and went back for some whiskey.

Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at April 18, 2012 05:03 PM (QTHTd)

34 Because the game is a function of pure random chance? There is no strategy to make you better. Dumb luck will win a game eventually.

This.

I'm not familiar with this game in particular, but I spend waaaay too much time breaking down games. Some of the most popular games (think Monopoly) are designed in such a way that strategy only marginally affects your ability to win a single game.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at April 18, 2012 05:04 PM (bjRNS)

35 Dark Tower is a 1981 electronic board game by Milton Bradley Company, for one to four players. The object of the game is to amass an army, collect the three keys to the Tower, and defeat the evil within. You may now continue.

Posted by: @SOEarpiece at April 18, 2012 05:06 PM (NG097)

36 Okay, so you have to always have food or people will die, and you should buy a Healer so you don't get killed by Plague.

Posted by: The Wyr on Wymyn at April 18, 2012 05:06 PM (nj1bB)

37 I don't know Dark Tower. How about PacMan?

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 05:06 PM (XkVVw)

38 Playing DARK Tower is racist. RACIST!!

Posted by: JewishOdysseus at April 18, 2012 05:07 PM (Dd+yB)

39 Some of the most popular games (think Monopoly) are designed in such a way that strategy only marginally affects your ability to win a single game.

Knowing when to be a total dick and refusing to trade is the second key to Monopoly. Especially if there are enough people playing, and you can create sufficient table hostility to derail all trades.
The relative odds (e..g, tan is best) are the first key.

Posted by: wooga at April 18, 2012 05:07 PM (vjyZP)

40 I had Dark Tower as a kid and *loved* it! My wife keeps looking on Ebay to buy it for me, but they cost a lot and if they don't, it's because the bulb for the tower has died or worse, the tower doesn't work at all, and they aren't easily replaced. Love the flash version, though would be way more fun if there was a way to play with others. By yourself just isn't any fun.

Posted by: Brian at April 18, 2012 05:09 PM (nVBHp)

41 At least with porn, you're contributing to prostate health

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 08:57 PM (AxHOT)

--NOW I find this out.

Posted by: Warren Buffett at April 18, 2012 05:12 PM (ykSKg)

42 okay, I got food, I got a Healer. I even got a scout. Outcome: Dead in like 14 rounds. What the hell?

Posted by: The Wyr on Wymyn at April 18, 2012 05:12 PM (nj1bB)

43 Pens game gettin' crazy.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at April 18, 2012 05:14 PM (SsG4J)

44 Okay, I'm not a Disney fan, but the Chimpanzee movie *does* look cute. Heaven knows it probably is more educational that what National Geographic Channel shows in prime time nowadays.

But why 4/20 as the release date? Do I need to be stoned?

Posted by: logprof at April 18, 2012 05:16 PM (ykSKg)

45 At least with porn, you're contributing to prostate health

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 08:57 PM (AxHOT)

--NOW I find this out.

Posted by: Warren Buffett at April 18, 2012 09:12 PM (ykSKg)

Warren, if you'd been spending your time rubbing one out instead of insufferably whining about not paying enough taxes, you might be better off.

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 05:16 PM (AxHOT)

46 Pens game gettin' crazy.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at April 18, 2012 09:14 PM (SsG4J)

Crosby should have been suspended for multiple games for his actions in game 3, but the NHL has different rules for him.

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 05:20 PM (AxHOT)

47 #JusticeForTerpentine!

Posted by: nickless at April 18, 2012 05:22 PM (MMC8r)

48 Acevedo: Finally, Mr. President, why is it that half a century after the Civil Rights Movement and after the American people elected their first African American President do I have to stand today here in front of you and ask you about racial tensions in the U.S.? And of course, IÂ’m referring to the Trayvon Martin case. There is no evidence that Martin was killed for racial reasons. There is no evidence that the civil rights movement had anything to do with the events of that night. We still do not know what happened in the vital minute leading up to MartinÂ’s death. The president could have noted that and moved on. But he chose not to. Again, he politicized the case. Obama: Well, I think we all understand that issues of race are deeply embedded in the history of this country. Sometimes that history has been tragic, slavery, Jim Crow, but also more recent examples of anti-immigrant sentiment, and you know, I think what I always tell people is that, you know, my election alone is not going to completely transform attitudes because this has to do with hearts and not just minds. It has to do with attitudes, not just laws. Â“ItÂ” might also have to do with facts: Neither Trayvon Martin nor George Zimmerman are immigrants. ZimmermanÂ’s mother is, though, so to the extent that immigration factors into this case at all (which is near zero), it would be on ZimmermanÂ’s side, not MartinÂ’s. Zimmerman, whose name is never mentioned and his picture never shown in the Univision interview, is Hispanic and a Spanish speaker. But neither the host, Enrique Acevedo, nor the president ever mention any of this. ItÂ’s as if the hard facts of the case are less relevant than whatever narrative the host and president are hoping to build together for UnivisionÂ’s audience. The president continues: On the other hand, I think we have to take heart from the fact that things have changed profoundly since I was born, and you know, when you see the next generation, when I talk to Malia and Sasha and their friends, their attitudes are more enlightened than the attitudes of my generation. So with each successive generation there are going to be misunderstandings; there are going to be tensions; thereÂ’s going to be tragedy sometimes, and whatÂ’s important for us to do is to look at it honestly, look at it squarely, but then move forwardÂ…

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 05:22 PM (7W3wI)

49 steevy, wow. Good catch.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at April 18, 2012 05:25 PM (SsG4J)

50 52 Is that fucker sickening or what?He should be polling at the bottom.Single fucking digits.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 05:27 PM (7W3wI)

51 55 iz Dark Tower better than White Castle? Just askin.A bag of sliders would be a welcome change from all that dogmeat we've been eating. .

Posted by: Sub Tard at April 18, 2012 09:28 PM (ursbV)

Dark Tower > White Castle IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: Kal Penn at April 18, 2012 05:29 PM (ykSKg)

52 Game 1: Fight with 4 bandits. They killed all 8 warriors, lose game.

Game 2:

Move 1: Plague lose 2 warriors.

Move 2: Plague lose 2 warriors

Move 3: Plague lose 2 warriors

Move 4: Dragon - fuck this.

Posted by: Justin at April 18, 2012 05:29 PM (yoAYX)

53 Been enjoying my new Dreamcast(s), and their complete lack of copy-protection.

Posted by: nickless at April 18, 2012 05:30 PM (MMC8r)

Speaking of Dark Helmet (can't be helped):

http://preview.tinyurl.com/9yrkey

Posted by: ErikW at April 18, 2012 05:30 PM (ORFIZ)

55 Joe Theisman. STFU about your prostate. Please. I'd rather watch those Cathy Rigby Kotex commercials from the 80s, where she extols the virtues of a product in leotards in which she couldn't be using said products

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 05:31 PM (AxHOT)

56 Okay, so you have to always have food or people will die, and you should buy a Healer so you don't get killed by Plague.

Posted by: The Wyr on Wymyn at April 18, 2012 09:06 PM (nj1bB)

OMG! LMFAO!

Posted by: NIPPP at April 18, 2012 05:39 PM (0oYHO)

57 I scored 00 on my first and last game. Maybe I should have read the rules and object of the game.

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 05:41 PM (XkVVw)

58 "Who in their right mind would want to lift weights with a TAMPAX."

Must...fight...dirty...Kegel exercise...joke...

Posted by: Armando at April 18, 2012 05:43 PM (Pf662)

59 I remember always wanting it as a kid because the commercials were so cool.Never got it though for some reason.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 05:44 PM (7W3wI)

60 I have often wondered why KOTEX doesn't brand itself with women weight lifters. The visuals of a woman pressing 300 lbs with a a KOTEX T-shirt on would highlight the products performance under stress. Who in their right mind would want to lift weights with a TAMPAX. Ouch.

Posted by: Sub Tard at April 18, 2012 09:37 PM (ursbV)

I'm surprised that it hasn't happened in NASCAR. I'd love to hear Dale Earnhardt Jr. say "the Tampax Tampons car was great today...."

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 05:44 PM (AxHOT)

61 Died again. Got all three keys, then got my ass kicked at the tower.

Posted by: The Wyr on Wymyn at April 18, 2012 05:45 PM (nj1bB)

62 Formula 1 had a car sponsored by a condom company back in the day.

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 05:46 PM (XkVVw)

63 Angry Joe Review of Star Wars Kinect: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-BGYxHbfwU

Spoiler: he doesn't like it very much

Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at April 18, 2012 05:46 PM (QTHTd)

64 I had and loved this game as a kid. It might still be in a box somewhere at my parents' house. It was a really cool game dor its time. I still have very fond memories of the sound effects and music.

Posted by: where are my ping pong balls at April 18, 2012 05:47 PM (lDUEX)

65 When does vaporboy get vaporized? I always get a chuckle out of that.

Posted by: toby928© at April 18, 2012 05:49 PM (NG097)

66 Michelle Obama is on Letterman again. How many times was Laura Bush on?

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 05:50 PM (AxHOT)

67 **drums fingers**

Posted by: toby928© at April 18, 2012 05:52 PM (NG097)

68 77 But Michelle is just so hip and beautiful.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 05:52 PM (7W3wI)

I used to play this game with my kids.

*sniff* HONK

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2012 05:54 PM (PjVdx)

70 " "Who in their right mind would want to lift weights with a TAMPAX."

Must...fight...dirty...Kegel exercise...joke..."

Hnnnnhhh... lignite. Grunnnnttt... anthractite. *Squeeze*... diamond.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 18, 2012 05:54 PM (opLk0)

Michelle Obama is on Letterman again

Is there such a thing as over exposure? You would think people would get sick of seeing the clusterfu*ks after awhile.

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 05:54 PM (XkVVw)

72 7 But Michelle is just so hip and beautiful.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 09:52 PM (7W3wI)

I don't get it. Even when you remove the partisanship. I still don't get it

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 05:54 PM (AxHOT)

73 Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 09:22 PM (7W3wI)

We had great burgers tonight. My own custom ground blend, on fantastic rolls from a local bakery, with NY State sharp cheddar and sauteed onions. I drank a Sazerac and then a Dogfish Brown Ale.

We had a really nice dinner.

And then you had to go and fuck it up with this shit from the cock-sucking piece of shit (my apologies to shit) we have masquerading as president.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 05:55 PM (nEUpB)

74 New Obama bumper sticker: Â“If you like your dachshund, you can eat your dachshund.Â”

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 18, 2012 05:57 PM (niZvt)

75 We had great burgers tonight. My own custom ground blend, on fantastic rolls from a local bakery, with NY State sharp cheddar and sauteed onions. I drank a Sazerac and then a Dogfish Brown Ale.

Care to share your custom ground blend? I haven't had good ground beef since my local butcher went belly up and I had to buy supermarket sawdust

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 05:58 PM (AxHOT)

76 87 Sorry.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 06:02 PM (7W3wI)

77 I don't know about the rest of you. I grew up in San Diego. I didn't understand the bully theme in "Back to the Future" or other films because there were no gangs or bullies in my high school. I don't understand the racial thing. I grew up in a meritocracy. Score well and get into the University of California. I knew pot heads both Latino and white.

I want, with all my heart, a color-blind government.

Mr. President, please, tear down this wall.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:03 PM (O3R/2)

78 92 He can't.He's of the type that built the wall and keeps it in repair.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 06:05 PM (7W3wI)

79 31
Video games are the ultimate time-sink (well, that and online porn, depending on how long you take) You spend a couple hours of life, and what have you accomplished? At least with porn, you're contributing to prostate health<<<<

You have to set a time limit with video games and porn, like any leisure activity, or the relaxation benefits are offset by the bad habits you form.

Like gently annoying your penis for an hour while flipping through porn - that's sending the wrong message to your bozack.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 18, 2012 09:02 PM (+JIjV)

So it was bad when my prostate wrapped itself around my doctor's finger last month at my yearly physical?

Note to self, quit fapping.

Well, maybe cut it down to 4 times a day.

Posted by: MrCaniac at April 18, 2012 06:05 PM (1grxW)

80 btw, enough with the stupid "obama eat dog" jokes. There has to be over 1000 jokes on this site alone. Some of you are repeating yourselves. Let it go. It was funny this morning. It is very, very old now.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:06 PM (O3R/2)

81 Let it go. It was funny this morning. It is very, very old now.Posted by: Jimbo

We'll do what we like, dawg!

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 18, 2012 06:07 PM (Ck8hC)

82 That could have been a prolapse, not your prostate.

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 06:07 PM (XkVVw)

83 Try a lamb burger forget the beef stuff ..if it is not grass fed , it is slapped in the ass and fed sugar beets and walla you got main stream stuff i will not feed old Ruger the best lab in the world, all beef that is not grass fed beef is like farm raised fish no wonder the y chromo is dissapering

Posted by: lost Dutch mans mind at April 18, 2012 06:07 PM (YlSwz)

84 Larry King on Gretta. I thought HE was dead.

Posted by: Jimmah at April 18, 2012 06:08 PM (UpwlP)

85 steevy, so you understand. Mr. Obama is keeping the wall is place. I "as Reagan" am demanding that he tear down this wall.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:08 PM (O3R/2)

86 Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 09:58 PM (AxHOT)

I'd be happy to!

50% 2nd cut brisket. Not the expensive, lean and shitty 1st cut. The cheaper, fattier and yummier chunk

50% Chuck. But buy a piece without the connective tissue, or trim it out before you grind.

Trim excess fat. I like at least 20%-25% fat, so don't go overboard.

Trim any connective tissue you see.

Cut meat into 1 inch cubes, trying to distribute the fat evenly on each piece.

Mix the chunks together before you grind. That way you have an even distribution of the two kinds of meat.

Go for a rough grind, but compress the patties more than usual. I like the combination of coarse grind and firm compression.

If there doesn't seem to be enough fat, add small chunks of butter (really, really small) into the grind. It's decadent, but...fuck cardiologists

I make 8 ounce patties that are 4.5 inches in diameter. That gives me a nice surface area for the char, but good thickness too.

There is enough fat in this blend to cook to medium if that's your preference. I like it medium-rare, but YMMV.

Oh...with all of this fat, it can handle lots of salt (Yeah, fuck you cardiologist).

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:08 PM (nEUpB)

87 Larry King has to be old enough to classify as "undead".

Posted by: Jimmah at April 18, 2012 06:09 PM (UpwlP)

88 weft-cut loop,

I am so bored....

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:09 PM (O3R/2)

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 10:06 PM (O3R/2)

We turn this into a book tread.

Anybody read forty ways to wok your dog?

Posted by: SCOAMF at April 18, 2012 06:10 PM (eXigD)

90 Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 10:02 PM (7W3wI)

Dude...I'm trying to be clever, and obviously failing.

Nothing could fuck up my burgers.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:10 PM (nEUpB)

91 @96: "btw, enough with the stupid 'obama eat dog' jokes." I guess we could dust off a few "Clinton eating pussy" jokes. (Bill or Hillary. Your choice.)

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 18, 2012 06:11 PM (kqGWM)

92
103 Larry King has to be old enough to classify as "undead".

Posted by: Jimmah at April 18, 2012 10:09 PM (UpwlP)

I just just call him sonny.

Posted by: Abe Vigoda at April 18, 2012 06:11 PM (eXigD)

93 This used to be an intelligent blog. Y'all are a bunch of morons. and heretics.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:12 PM (O3R/2)

94 101 I gotcha.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 06:12 PM (7W3wI)

95 Please,ace, please, open a new thread.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:13 PM (O3R/2)

96 50% 2nd cut brisket. Not the expensive, lean and shitty 1st cut. The cheaper, fattier and yummier chunk

50% Chuck. But buy a piece without the connective tissue, or trim it out before you grind. Trim excess fat. I like at least 20%-25% fat, so don't go overboard. Trim any connective tissue you see. Cut meat into 1 inch cubes, trying to distribute the fat evenly on each piece.

Mix the chunks together before you grind. That way you have an even distribution of the two kinds of meat.

Go for a rough grind, but compress the patties more than usual. I like the combination of coarse grind and firm compression.

If there doesn't seem to be enough fat, add small chunks of butter (really, really small) into the grind. It's decadent, but...fuck cardiologists

I make 8 ounce patties that are 4.5 inches in diameter. That gives me a nice surface area for the char, but good thickness too.

There is enough fat in this blend to cook to medium if that's your preference. I like it medium-rare, but YMMV. Oh...with all of this fat, it can handle lots of salt (Yeah, fuck you cardiologist).

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 10:08 PM (nEUpB)

Thanks. You. the. Man. What exit?

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 06:13 PM (AxHOT)

97 By the way Morons just in case you forgot our landlord the China Men consider Black Bean and Black Dog a delicacy and I wondered why I could not pet a Black Dod in China when I was over there..

Posted by: lost Dutch mans mind at April 18, 2012 06:13 PM (YlSwz)

98 Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 10:13 PM (O3R/2)

Don't turn into a junior Vic.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:13 PM (nEUpB)

99 I like Vic.

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 06:14 PM (XkVVw)

100 Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 10:13 PM (AxHOT)

Hah!

Northern NJ. Nowhere near the Turnpike.

And do I have to mention that grilling is the way to go?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:14 PM (nEUpB)

101 Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 10:14 PM (XkVVw)

So do I, but he is older than dirt and has earned (sort of) his curmudgeonly ways.

And we only need one of him.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:15 PM (nEUpB)

102 Vic is my neighbor, if you figure that a two-hour drive qualifies. I like Vic. Vic might be a friend of mine, you Sir are no Vic.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:15 PM (O3R/2)

103 I keep getting killed. I don't like this game.

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at April 18, 2012 06:16 PM (NVu2l)

104 Northern NJ. Nowhere near the Turnpike.

And do I have to mention that grilling is the way to go?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 10:14 PM (nEUpB)

North West?. towards PA? And no, you need not mention...

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 06:16 PM (AxHOT)

105 Oh fuck, Baraka's here!

Posted by: Toby the Beagle at April 18, 2012 06:17 PM (ykSKg)

106 Ya gotta buy a healer and a scout near the beginning or else the plague and getting lost will eat you up.

Posted by: Anabolic State at April 18, 2012 06:17 PM (e1pl5)

107 Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 10:15 PM (O3R/2)

See? Funny is better than nagging.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:17 PM (nEUpB)

108

And we only need one of him.

I may team up with Vic to drive all the young'uns crazy.

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 06:17 PM (XkVVw)

109 Meh. I'd rather play Gauntlet.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 18, 2012 06:18 PM (kqGWM)

110
Dunno about you guys, but I'm just enjoying the hell out of the continuing face plants by the Dems this last week. Does a fellas heart a world of good.

I wish them all success on their present course.

Posted by: irongrampa at April 18, 2012 06:18 PM (SAMxH)

111 Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) tweeted, Â“Â‘ . . . even if you have a child two years of age, you need to go to workÂ’ Who said it?Â” He then retweeted the following responses: @keithellison The presumptive Republican nominee for President. @keithellison Â– Etch-A-Sketch Romney! Mitt Romney. RT @keithellison: Â” . . . even if you have a child two years of age, you need to go to work Â” Who said it? @keithellison Mitt Romney said it, but didnÂ’t his wife Ann say women have a choice? ArenÂ’t they contradicting each other? @keithellison Rombot 2.0, back in January 2012. Easy for him to say. @keithellison A heartless douchebag who doesnÂ’t like animals or small children. At least thatÂ’s what IÂ’ve heard. @keithellison Flip-Floper Mittens thatÂ’s who. Ellison then tweeted, Â“on the who-said-it contest, the winner is. . . . everybody.Â”

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 06:19 PM (7W3wI)

112 Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 10:16 PM (AxHOT)

No, Northeastern. Bergen County. Home of Scott Garrett, our incredible stud of a fiscal conservative representative.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:19 PM (nEUpB)

113 btw, Vic defended John Derbyshire's rather racist column. While I disagree with teaching my children those things (Don't stop for blacks in distress) , Derb did not utter a falsehood. It was rather un-Christian, but I don't expect everyone here to be Christian.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:19 PM (O3R/2)

114

Oh...with all of this fat, it can handle lots of salt (Yeah, fuck you cardiologist).

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 10:08 PM (nEUpB)

Impressive recipe, I like.

I need to get my own grinder because nothing pisses me off more than digging a piece of gristle out from between my teeth after eating a burger.

That's just lazy fucking butchering and trimming.

Posted by: ErikW at April 18, 2012 06:19 PM (ORFIZ)

115 Funny is great. Has there been anything funny here in 6 hours?

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:20 PM (O3R/2)

116 132 Derb is a atheist.

Posted by: steevy at April 18, 2012 06:21 PM (7W3wI)

117 Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 10:19 PM (O3R/2)

Derb made the mistake of focusing on color rather than culture. But nothing he said was outrageous, or anything that many middle-class Blacks don't think every day.

How can you say that the column was racist but that he didn't utter a falsehood?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:22 PM (nEUpB)

118 @keithellison: Eat a dog

Posted by: fluffy at April 18, 2012 06:23 PM (3SvjA)

119 Posted by: ErikW at April 18, 2012 10:19 PM (ORFIZ)

Yup.

I'll go through the ground meat just to make sure that there isn't something nasty that sneaked through the grinder.

I have a grinder attachment to my KitchenAid mixer. It's very powerful, and works great.

I don't think that there are any shortcuts. You'll have to spend some money.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:24 PM (nEUpB)

120 No, Northeastern. Bergen County. Home of Scott Garrett, our incredible stud of a fiscal conservative representative.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 10:19 PM (nEUpB)

So you're up near Wyckoff? Gorgeous up there.

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 06:24 PM (AxHOT)

121 96 btw, enough with the stupid "obama eat dog" jokes. There has to be over 1000 jokes on this site alone. Some of you are repeating yourselves. Let it go. It was funny this morning. It is very, very old now.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 10:06 PM (O3R/2)

Bite me you whiny bitch

Posted by: Toby teh Beagle at April 18, 2012 06:24 PM (ykSKg)

122 Lest we forget, keith ellison would probably like the judicial system to include sharia law.

Posted by: Ronster at April 18, 2012 06:25 PM (XkVVw)

123

btw, enough with the stupid "obama eat dog" jokes. There has to be over
1000 jokes on this site alone. Some of you are repeating yourselves. Let
it go. It was funny this morning. It is very, very old now.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 10:06 PM (O3R/2)

I've never heard of something like this.

Posted by: Charles Gibson at April 18, 2012 06:25 PM (GULKT)

124

Bite me you whiny bitch

C'mere, Pup!

Posted by: Barry O'SCoaMF at April 18, 2012 06:26 PM (3SvjA)

125 Dog is unclean in Islam; so if Barky ate it in Indonesia, it was from a Chinese vendor.

Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at April 18, 2012 06:27 PM (QTHTd)

126 I respect atheists, or rather agnostics.

To honestly not know is a burden. The atheists, however, that treat it like a faith, are apostles of despair.

The honest atheists, that seek the truth, may be pleasantly surprised by the graciousness of the Almighty. Jesus died for the forgiveness of all sins. A contrite heart will find refuge.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:27 PM (O3R/2)

127 Posted by: Ombudsman at April 18, 2012 10:24 PM (AxHOT)

Next town over.

Yes, it's pretty. A food wasteland though. Most of the restaurants are crap. And don't get me started on the bars.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 18, 2012 06:28 PM (nEUpB)

128 #102

Good advice.

I would add that to tenderize tougher cuts of beef, do a first, (and very rough), grind with some salt, let it rest for about an hour in the fridge. If it's too lean, do your second, finer, grind with beef suet, instead of butter.

Press into patties, and place in your freezer until they're firm. Grill over a hot flame, three minutes per side, until juices run clear.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at April 18, 2012 06:29 PM (L7hol)

129

Fallen London is best browser game out there. Victorian Gothic Horror Comedy. www.fallenlondon.com

The story kicksass for those of you who can read.

Wlad

Posted by: Wlad at April 18, 2012 06:29 PM (h2WfS)

130 Hey, Anyone Feel Like Playing Dark Tower?

YO!

Posted by: Kim Kardashian at April 18, 2012 06:29 PM (Aaxiu)

131 Let it go. It was funny this morning. It is very, very old now.
So Jimbo wants us to roll over and play dead.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 18, 2012 06:30 PM (nU/dt)

132 Jimbo is all bark. Sniff my ass, then get me a sammich.

Posted by: cherry at April 18, 2012 06:31 PM (OhYCU)

133

Jimbo,

We're the AceofSpadesHQ. We don't tone down shit. When ABC posts a stupid hitjob on our presumptive nominee, we facecock them with unpleasant facts, mock them for their pussyshit defense of their boyfriend, write out opinions on our cocks and shove em up their ass.

This is us. No manners.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2012 06:35 PM (PjVdx)

134 I do not ask anyone to "roll over and play dead." I ask you to stop being stupid.
It is April. The only poll that matters is Nov. 6.

Personally, I am a big fan of marinating meat in a wine, ginger, garlic,mustard, onion, cayenne,etc liquid. There is no frying of dog meat. There is only roasting, preferably on a charcoal grill (a bit of mesquite might be nice)

No skin, no hair.

Henri le Cat enjoys the thought.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:38 PM (O3R/2)

135 @139

I didn't realize we're supposed to be that restrained, I'll try to tone it down a bit.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at April 18, 2012 06:38 PM (xKC/c)

136 Raykons night is ruined. Maets got the ONT up and is loaded for bear.

Posted by: NIPPP at April 18, 2012 06:44 PM (0oYHO)

137 My friends, and you really are my friends,

The daytime crew already went through this stuff. Check out all the recipes willow came up with. Please forgive me. I am retired. I have time to view the morning and the evening blog postings.

"What have you done for me lately?"

None of your "witty" contributions tonight suffice.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 18, 2012 06:45 PM (O3R/2)

138 Jimbo likes to marinate gingers? OMG man. Have you no shame?

Posted by: cherry at April 18, 2012 06:46 PM (OhYCU)

139 I have time to view the morning and the evening blog postings.

ahhh... you go both ways. Now we can help you.

Posted by: cherry at April 18, 2012 06:52 PM (OhYCU)

140 new thread Jimbo. More Doom to peruse.

Posted by: cherry at April 18, 2012 06:53 PM (OhYCU)

141 I won, bitchez. Now who's awesome, and who sucks?!?!

Posted by: ace at April 18, 2012 07:04 PM (nj1bB)

142 Keys to this stupid game: 1. Go the Bazaar immediaely and buy a Healer. Not only does a Hearler prevent deaths from plague, you actually GAIN two warriors every time there's a plague. 2. Keep an eye on food. Buy lots of it. You probably will spend most gold on food, not warriors. 3. After getting all three keys, and you're back in your own kingdom, anytime you're low on gold, food, or warriors, you can stop in at your home base. This will give you a decent supply of new ones-- sometimes a huge supply. 4. Don't attack the tower without around 26 warriors or more.

Posted by: ace at April 18, 2012 07:08 PM (nj1bB)

143 5. When you're stacked on Warriors and Gold, try to avoid open spaces, and try to move on citadels, bazaars, ruins, etc. Unless you have the Sword. Because the Dragon is a pain in the ass and is pure loss, whereas at the building spaces are eitehr neutral or you can retreat if the fight is going bad. With the sword, you can ward off the dragon, but then it goes away.

Posted by: ace at April 18, 2012 07:10 PM (nj1bB)

144 HAHAHA! You crack me da hell up! I thought it was hilarious that folks didn't check out the Wyr on Wymmins hash!

Now that ya won, you can go drink some more, or just pass out in your nice ewok snuggy.

luv ya dude!

Posted by: NIPPP at April 18, 2012 07:12 PM (0oYHO)

145 Fallout 3, morons. Although I must confess to eating rather a lot of dogmeat washed down with Nuka Cola. Well, it's better than radroaches.

Posted by: Fortunata at April 18, 2012 07:26 PM (90H1N)

146 151 Fallout 3, morons. Although I must confess to eating rather a lot of dogmeat washed down with Nuka Cola. Well, it's better than radroaches.
Posted by: Fortunata at April 18, 2012 11:26 PM (90H1N)

You probably ate the strange meat too you sicko

Posted by: buzzion at April 18, 2012 07:29 PM (GULKT)

147 @ 152 Nope, uh-uh. *F-f-ffffffffffffffava beans and Chianti......*

Posted by: Fortunata at April 18, 2012 07:34 PM (90H1N)

148

100Larry King on Gretta. I thought HE was dead.

He is. Just nobody has the heart to tell him. A real life zombie.

---

i do

Posted by: Dick Cheney at April 18, 2012 08:25 PM (3Zo6I)

149 Darktower was awesome. Favorite trick was to spend a few turns trying to barter the price for soldiers down to 1 at the bazaar. It would work eventually then you stocked up on thugs and kicked ass.

Posted by: Zharkov at April 18, 2012 08:27 PM (EuoDk)

150

whupped DT 2nd try...1st after reading the rules.

Wuss am i

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at April 18, 2012 08:34 PM (3Zo6I)

151 Actually took a couple of tries to beat. Mostly because I didn't understand where to find the keys. It really doesn't explain that in the rules. The ruins, out of the 3 places that look like crap are the ones that have the key. You need to sit there and keep rolling away till you get it. I also love how no matter how many warriors you hire, it always seems the brigand group goes up to the same number or more. So entertaining.

Posted by: NJRob at April 18, 2012 09:22 PM (FVp26)

152 Holy crap! I played the hell out of this game growing up in a rural area (No interwebz back then). Thanks Ace, lots of good memories here.

Posted by: demasque at April 19, 2012 01:36 AM (VusH8)

153 Text based horror simulation.

scpfoundation org/database/

search google: SCP-171

SCP OBJECT CLASS EUCLID alive Â· symbiotic
Originally, SCP-171 was thought to be a colony of microscopic organisms similar to SCP-1007 or SCP-165, but further investigations revealed SCP-171 to be a single entity spanning 300 square meters when first encountered. SCP-171 is a web-like matrix of small, fine tendrils of neurons ...

Posted by: 13times at April 19, 2012 05:35 AM (h6XiD)

154

I have lost a great many of my old toys over the years, but I still have my Dark Tower game. The Tower, sadly, has a burnt-out motor so the cylinder with the pictures does not turn, but the electronics still work. In theory all I have to do is swap out the old motor.

Now, if I still had my Starbird and my 2-XL, I'd be in business.

Posted by: nightfly at April 19, 2012 05:51 AM (gTsr5)

155 "Is there some reason I cannot beat a game designed for little children?"

Yeah, it's hard as hell. The developer did a FANTASTIC job of recreating the look and feel of the game, but I think his random event generator may be skewed just a skosh too far in the direction of teh suck. In the original game, I remember getting lost a bunch, but not quite so many dragon and plague events.

Still, neat trip down memory lane. Thanks, Ace!

Posted by: JR at April 19, 2012 09:22 AM (gWOju)

156 I played for like five hours without finding even the first key - and then finally remembered to move to the next territory. D'oh!!!!!

Posted by: Norcross at April 19, 2012 12:25 PM (RM0br)

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