Ace of Spades HQ

November 21, 2012

Important News Of The Day
— LauraW

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A woman in Sweden has been charged with engaging in sexual activities with a human skeleton and could face jail time for disturbing the peace of the dead, a Swedish prosecutor said.

While you guys all stampede to the Big Vault Of Boner Jokes, I just have to ask; who's the victim, here?

Really.
I mean, in order for it to be necrophilia, doesn't there technically have to be a body?

Thanks to tmi3rd.

Posted by: LauraW at 01:16 PM | Comments (220)
Post contains 91 words, total size 1 kb.

1 "Boned."

Posted by: oblig. at November 21, 2012 01:19 PM (cePv8)

2 The great Libertarian Conundrum:

Should Necrophilia be considered initiation of force?

What if you bought the corpse from the estate's heirs?

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:20 PM (wYVte)

3 How did she manage that? I mean, how did she get access to a skeleton, and what did she do with it, use the tibia as a dildo?

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 21, 2012 01:20 PM (LQjA9)

4 Was that woman named Mary Moon?

Posted by: Dead Eye Dick at November 21, 2012 01:21 PM (DGpaI)

5 The Girl Who Slept With Skeletons

Posted by: Jay in Ames at November 21, 2012 01:21 PM (i2Lsf)

6 Grey Fox: I do not want to see the gifs.

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:21 PM (wYVte)

7 Okay, first question answered using the advanced technique of reading the article...

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 21, 2012 01:22 PM (LQjA9)

8 More important news: I just created a new smell. Hamburgers and brussel sprouts with some gruyere cheese.

Posted by: hamilton Burger at November 21, 2012 01:22 PM (kyFvp)

9 Meat is sweeter close to the bone. That's some rock candy.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at November 21, 2012 01:22 PM (DX33p)

10 "It said the woman had handled the bones in a "shameful" and "unethical" manner."

Bwahahahaha!

Posted by: Tami at November 21, 2012 01:22 PM (X6akg)

11 Kate Upton dancing (watch it several times, it speeds up) : http://www.kateuptondancing.com/

Happy Thanksgiving.!!

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 21, 2012 01:23 PM (b+jI9)

12 Will the city council is Berkeley issue a statement on Necro-Culture?

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:23 PM (wYVte)

13 "....now hear the word of the Lord."

Posted by: Mr. Dave at November 21, 2012 01:23 PM (DX33p)

14 ::::Really. I mean, in order for it to be necrophilia, doesn't there technically have to be a body?::: I'LL ALLOW IT!

Posted by: Judge Mills Lane at November 21, 2012 01:24 PM (z7X0E)

"engaging in sexual activities with a human skeleton"

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: hamilton Burger at November 21, 2012 01:24 PM (kyFvp)

16 At least she didn't have to worry about killing the person after the "act" was complete.

Posted by: Roy at November 21, 2012 01:24 PM (tiOTz)

17 Here's her home video of the event. It's super hot!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQcQdWBqt14

Posted by: lorien1973 at November 21, 2012 01:24 PM (mcWHD)

18 Not clicking on it.

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:24 PM (wYVte)

19 I don't understand all the interest in other people's sexual choices. Mind your own business, and let the Puritan impulse finally die as it should have in the eighteenth century.

Posted by: Dr. Emil Skullfucker, DDS at November 21, 2012 01:24 PM (LCRYB)

20 Just. No.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 21, 2012 01:24 PM (piMMO)

21 So the woman had sex with Ally McBeal. Big deal.

Posted by: Roy at November 21, 2012 01:25 PM (tiOTz)

22 Now you know why the premiere of my XXX parody version of Weekend At Bernie's was held in Stockholm. They go crazy for that shit.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at November 21, 2012 01:25 PM (+lsX1)

23 You really want someone digging up your grandma and dry humping her, lauraw?

Posted by: Walkers! at November 21, 2012 01:25 PM (TYO2p)

24 This would NEVER have happened prior to the 60's!

Posted by: Ken at November 21, 2012 01:26 PM (piMMO)

25 Don't count on that, Ken.

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:26 PM (wYVte)

26 It doesn't matter who you love.

Posted by: Barry Bones Obama at November 21, 2012 01:27 PM (BVkEs)

27 So the woman had sex with Ally McBeal. Big deal.

****

(Preparing myself for the backlash)

I think Calista Flockhart is beautiful. Tiny, yes, but beautiful nonetheless.

Posted by: Ken at November 21, 2012 01:27 PM (piMMO)

28 off prudish sock

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 21, 2012 01:27 PM (piMMO)

29 Necrophilia was not a crime until recently in CA. For years the leftards fought it. Even when some dipshits were caught have sex with a dead six year old. Can you imagine your kid dyeing and than having to hear about psychos defiling her body and with the blessing of the leftards?

Posted by: Walkers! at November 21, 2012 01:28 PM (TYO2p)

30 Only a Scandi would skullf*ck the dead.

Posted by: Fritz at November 21, 2012 01:28 PM (mqdAz)

31 I'd hit it.

Posted by: Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy at November 21, 2012 01:28 PM (LCRYB)

32 So coccyx size does matter.

Posted by: Red Skelton at November 21, 2012 01:28 PM (1PE/J)

33 Why would you dig up a skeleton when hospitals are filled with coma patients?

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at November 21, 2012 01:28 PM (+lsX1)

34 Don't count on that, Ken.

****

Now see, if that had been the real 'Ken', you would just have started the internetz equivalent of WWIII.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 21, 2012 01:28 PM (piMMO)

The French Revolution mob went and killed old ladies in nursing homes and then boinked their dead bodies. 'Cause that's just how they rolled.

Posted by: kallisto at November 21, 2012 01:28 PM (jm/9g)

36 This will get coverage.

What "news" from Sweden recently that did not get much coverage was the 87 year old woman who was savagely beaten by "immigrants" (including holding her legs apart and stomping on and kicking her genital/pelvic area). Her offense: she told them to stop beating a puppy to death. Something about dogs being unclean or somesuch. ROP.

Posted by: eureka! at November 21, 2012 01:29 PM (UL+ny)

37 Usually it's the woman who just lays there.

*rim-shot*

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 21, 2012 01:30 PM (b+jI9)

38 The French Revolution mob went and killed old ladies in nursing homes and then boinked their dead bodies. 'Cause that's just how they rolled.

*****

You men are some sick fucks!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 21, 2012 01:30 PM (piMMO)

39 I hope some horny broad fucks my skeleton 100 years from now. Note to self: amend last will and testament.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 21, 2012 01:30 PM (z7X0E)

40 Here's a shocker: She's unemployed.

Posted by: Marmo at November 21, 2012 01:30 PM (pcgW1)

41 Is that a femur or are you just glad to see me?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 21, 2012 01:31 PM (QKKT0)

42 35The French Revolution mob went and killed old ladies in nursing homes and then boinked their dead bodies. 'Cause that's just how they rolled.

Posted by: kallisto at November 21, 2012 05:28 PM (jm/9g)

They had nursing homes in 18th century France?

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 21, 2012 01:31 PM (LQjA9)

43 Well I've heard of boners but this is just ridiculous!

Posted by: Guy Who Can't Resist The Joke That's Already Been Made at November 21, 2012 01:31 PM (LCRYB)

44 I don't find that Humorous.

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:31 PM (wYVte)

45 When a Swedish woman can't pleasure herself with the Earthly remains of a departed ancestor in the privacy of her own Volvo, then the terrorists have already won.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 21, 2012 01:32 PM (QKKT0)

46 Kate Upton dancing

Her bikini bottom has to be within a mm of her naughty bits. She has to have less pubic hair than the skeleton.

Posted by: pep at November 21, 2012 01:32 PM (6TB1Z)

47 I'm going to put on a skull mask and get me some Tombpussy.

Posted by: Guy Who's Really Horny And Can't Reisst an Easy Lay at November 21, 2012 01:33 PM (LCRYB)

48 Stinky Bone! Get ya some!!

Posted by: Sgt. Fury at November 21, 2012 01:33 PM (wmR6i)

49 Marmo: Here's a shocker: She's unemployed.

She might just stay unemployed.

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:33 PM (wYVte)

50 Tibia or not tibia.

Posted by: Marmo at November 21, 2012 01:33 PM (pcgW1)

51 My body, my choice, wingnuts.

Posted by: Sandra the Slut Fluke at November 21, 2012 01:34 PM (8YKMk)

52 These Swedes just aren't very open minded.

Posted by: fluffy, Norski at November 21, 2012 01:34 PM (z9HTb)

53 Clack clack clack clack clack

Posted by: The Victim at November 21, 2012 01:34 PM (QKKT0)

54 Please, please, please, let it be her father.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 21, 2012 01:34 PM (b+jI9)

55 I don't find that Humorous. I think you meant Humerus

Posted by: Sean Bannion, Noted pedant and physiology Nazi at November 21, 2012 01:34 PM (xNfNC)

56 Sternum!? Why I hardly even knew 'im!!!

Posted by: Guy Who Does Slight Variations on Previously Told Jokes at November 21, 2012 01:34 PM (LCRYB)

57 She's boned now.

Posted by: Butters at November 21, 2012 01:35 PM (NIZHJ)

58 Now the bowfucker lady? That gal is disturbed.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 21, 2012 01:35 PM (z7X0E)

You men are some sick fucks!
___

No - member of the double x club here. (I have one of those names that confuses ace.)

Posted by: kallisto at November 21, 2012 01:35 PM (jm/9g)

60 44
I don't find that Humorous.
Posted by: Kristophr

Tibia, or not tibia? That is the question.

Posted by: Swedish woman contemplating tonight's fare at November 21, 2012 01:35 PM (6TB1Z)

61 I mean, in order for it to be necrophilia, doesn't there technically have to be a body? So what gives, this is now a smart legal blog?

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:35 PM (Lxw+T)

62 Thanks to that ballot measure passed in California this year, the motion picture re-enactment of this story will require the skeleton to wear a condom.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at November 21, 2012 01:35 PM (+lsX1)

63
I save a ton of money on birth controll.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at November 21, 2012 01:35 PM (1PE/J)

64 8 More important news: I just created a new smell. Hamburgers and brussel sprouts with some gruyere cheese. Posted by: hamilton Burger at November 21, 2012 05:22 PM (kyFvp) ___________________ NaaaaaasTY!

Posted by: Madonna at November 21, 2012 01:36 PM (r2PLg)

65 I don't think this is humerus. Or funny.

Posted by: LGoPs at November 21, 2012 01:36 PM (BJVEF)

66 I 'spose you have to do something with the bones once you have filled your meat locker with Hobo ...

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:36 PM (wYVte)

67 I was going to watch Les Miserable tonight but now forget it!

Posted by: Walkers! at November 21, 2012 01:36 PM (TYO2p)

68 @50
Beat me. Now bite me.

Posted by: pep at November 21, 2012 01:36 PM (6TB1Z)

69 In other news Hollywood producers announced they have negotiated the movie rights and have cast Matthew Mcconaughey to star as the skeleton.

Posted by: New to New Orleans at November 21, 2012 01:36 PM (lhX9P)

70 You know what they say -- big feet, big tibia.

Posted by: Guy Who Just Googled "Major Bones of the Human Body" at November 21, 2012 01:36 PM (LCRYB)

71 Well, regardless of her looks or ability, I'm betting the skeleton was hard.

Posted by: © Sponge at November 21, 2012 01:37 PM (UK9cE)

72 The jokes write themselves here. But this woman has to be insane.

But let the boner jokes fly.

Posted by: Vic at November 21, 2012 01:37 PM (YdQQY)

73 So she's on Team Edward. Lots of girls are.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 21, 2012 01:37 PM (z7X0E)

74 Lauraw just hates socialist paradises.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:37 PM (Lxw+T)

75 I could save them a shiton of money just eat lots of the things they want to form the new smell. Have some Mtn. Dew Red.

Posted by: Butters at November 21, 2012 01:37 PM (NIZHJ)

76 Show me on the stick figure where the defendent touched you.

Posted by: AmishDude at November 21, 2012 01:38 PM (xSegX)

77 Quick, lube up this femur. I'm feeling randy.

Posted by: Guy Who's Considering The Details of this Process at November 21, 2012 01:38 PM (LCRYB)

78 I hate to ask but how did they find out? Video? Caught in the act?

Posted by: dantesed at November 21, 2012 01:38 PM (lNK7t)

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 21, 2012 05:31 PM (LQjA9)

They were more like poverty homes where old ladies were warehoused. (Maybe on the order of workhouses?) I read this in a history of the city of Paris. It so thoroughly grossed me out I never got to the part where they made Jerry Lewis into a national treasure.

Posted by: kallisto at November 21, 2012 01:38 PM (jm/9g)

80 Given the likely suspects in this kind of activity, I'm going to guess the bones broke from the weight

Posted by: imp at November 21, 2012 01:38 PM (/oPBg)

81 78 Facebook post? Those Nords are decadent.

Posted by: Butters at November 21, 2012 01:39 PM (NIZHJ)

82 Are we certain they were male bones?

Posted by: Guy Who's Always Looking For A Lesbian Angle at November 21, 2012 01:39 PM (LCRYB)

83 I would just like to point out that Bob Beckel is a SCOAMF. That is all.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at November 21, 2012 01:39 PM (xNfNC)

84 Luckily the skeleton can receive guaranteed free medical care and therapy after this trauma. That wouldn't happen in this greedy, racist, redneck nation we have.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:39 PM (Lxw+T)

85 I would say this is half her fault and half the fault of the morgue that laid her off.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at November 21, 2012 01:39 PM (+lsX1)

86 8 More important news: I just created a new smell. Hamburgers and brussel sprouts with some gruyere cheese. Give it six hours and you will create another one.

Posted by: rickb223 Let It Burn at November 21, 2012 01:39 PM (VhFAp)

87 Why ride a live guy with one bone when you can hump a skel and have 206 choices?

Posted by: USS Diversity at November 21, 2012 01:39 PM (9ghZ6)

88 Were they on a tin roof?

Posted by: Mary in LA at November 21, 2012 01:39 PM (9wOfB)

89 I hope some horny broad fucks my skeleton 100 years from now.

I have five grand-nieces.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at November 21, 2012 01:40 PM (z9HTb)

90 If we could get this gal and Octomom in a threesome with Leona Helmsley's skeleton we could be Internet tycoons.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 21, 2012 01:40 PM (z7X0E)

91 "Are we certain they were male bones?"

Homosexual Necrophilia is an offense against God!

Posted by: Kristophr at November 21, 2012 01:40 PM (wYVte)

92 So Maria Shriver got lonely. It's bad enough what Arnold did, now this? Love is love.

Posted by: Baldy at November 21, 2012 01:40 PM (opS9C)

93 78 I hate to ask but how did they find out? Video? Caught in the act?
Posted by: dantesed

The police responded to a shot being fired from the flat.

Also, the bones were over 50 years old so she's in to older men. Older, dead men.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 21, 2012 01:40 PM (b+jI9)

She's just a coccyx-sucker.

Posted by: LGoPs at November 21, 2012 01:40 PM (BJVEF)

95 Ooohhh this gives me a new song idea-- I'm All Dead Inside!

Posted by: Madonna at November 21, 2012 01:41 PM (r2PLg)

96 Dead men tell no tales.

Posted by: Butters at November 21, 2012 01:41 PM (NIZHJ)

97 Homosexual Necrophilia is an offense against God! Your god maybe...not mine!

Posted by: Bwaney Fwank at November 21, 2012 01:41 PM (xNfNC)

98 LauraW you know with posts like this you are going to run afoul of new poster parteagirl who took exception to the use of snark in the news thread this morning.

And happy Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Vic at November 21, 2012 01:41 PM (YdQQY)

99 I told her to get 'em while they're still fresh.

Posted by: Dr. Frahnkenshteen at November 21, 2012 01:42 PM (QKKT0)

100 I hear the victim was hung like a horse skeleton.

Posted by: ace at November 21, 2012 01:42 PM (LCRYB)

101

"A bipartisan bill in the House would expand the religious exemption to the insurance mandate in Obamacare, allowing those with a religious objection to absolve themselves of the mandateÂ’s health insurance requirement with an affidavit".

Surely I'm dreaming this.

Posted by: harleycowb at November 21, 2012 01:42 PM (wSTfB)

102 Here's the entire article :

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A woman in Sweden has been charged with engaging in sexual activities with a human skeleton and could face jail time for disturbing the peace of the dead, a Swedish prosecutor said.

Police found a full human skeleton, skulls and a box containing other human bones by chance after responding to a call saying a shot had been fired from her flat in the city of Gothenburg.

They also discovered CD-ROMs titled "my necrophilia" and "my first experience", and photographs of the woman engaging in various sexual activities with a skeleton, a court document on the prosecutor's website showed.

It said the woman had handled the bones in a "shameful" and "unethical" manner.

"She is interested in the dead," Prosecutor Kristina Ehrenborg-Staffas told Reuters. "She has pictures of morgues, churches and graveyards."

The 37-year-old unemployed woman has also been accused of selling human bones to an artist in Uppsala in eastern Sweden this past summer.

The woman has said she bought the bones, which were around 50 years old or more and from different parts of the world, over the Internet for historical purposes and says that it is not her in the photographs.

Her trial will take place next week and she faces a maximum two years in prison if found guilty.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 21, 2012 01:42 PM (b+jI9)

103 Nearly all other animals have penis bones. She was just finding a less creepy alternative to her bestiality kick.

Posted by: imp at November 21, 2012 01:43 PM (/oPBg)

104 96 Dead men tell no tales. But they sure get some.

Posted by: rickb223 Let It Burn at November 21, 2012 01:43 PM (VhFAp)

105 Didja see me on SNL? I killed! Looking forward to Thanksgiving: gravy as a beverage and a call from Bruce Springsteen. Screw the voters.

Posted by: Chris Christie at November 21, 2012 01:43 PM (wIgpo)

106 She changed her facebook status to "It's complicated."

Posted by: ace at November 21, 2012 01:43 PM (LCRYB)

107 Extreme osteoporosis!

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:43 PM (Lxw+T)

108 you are going to run afoul of new poster parteagirl who took exception to the use of snark in the news thread this morning. I must have missed that Was she persuaded to reconsider her position in the most Moron of ways?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at November 21, 2012 01:43 PM (xNfNC)

109

...Her trial will take place next week and she faces a maximum two years in prison if found guilty.

I'll bet she'd like to do hard time.

Posted by: LGoPs at November 21, 2012 01:43 PM (BJVEF)

110 How can they be sure said strumpet initiated this contact?

Posted by: Butters at November 21, 2012 01:43 PM (NIZHJ)

111 So this woman slept with Madonna, why is this news?

Posted by: Ed Wood VS Godzilla at November 21, 2012 01:44 PM (BsGo+)

112 Who are you to judge what a person does in the privacy of their own home?

Necrophobes.

Posted by: egd at November 21, 2012 01:44 PM (pgpHz)

113 Once you go bleached, you never go back.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 21, 2012 01:44 PM (QKKT0)

114 Kilroy was Here!

Posted by: Madonna has a new tattoo! at November 21, 2012 01:44 PM (r2PLg)

115 Just the term zyphoid process gets some people excited.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 21, 2012 01:44 PM (xCa48)

116 Bone Appetit

Posted by: DAve at November 21, 2012 01:44 PM (XDC0v)

117 It said the woman had handled the bones in a "shameful" and "unethical" manner. Stay out of our bedrooms. Stay out of our coffins.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:45 PM (Lxw+T)

118 Some of these broads need to give it a rest! Madonna is still flashing her tits and cooch to audiences. Since most of them are ghey, I don't know why they would want to see that. Kathy Griffin posted pics of her in her underwear. And even Rhianna who may be young and pretty -- every pic of her is semi nude. The shock factor wears off after the billionth time you show your tatas.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 21, 2012 01:45 PM (TYO2p)

119 So some one finally made the porn version of Weekend at Bernie's?

Posted by: Ed Wood VS Godzilla at November 21, 2012 01:45 PM (BsGo+)

120 106 She changed her facebook status to "It's complicated." Posted by: ace at November 21, 2012 05:43 PM (LCRYB) ____________ I have an ex-boyfriend who has that listed as his "status" on his Ironman profile. wtf--does that even mean?

Posted by: Madonna has a new tattoo! at November 21, 2012 01:45 PM (r2PLg)

121 and photographs of the woman engaging in various sexual activities with a skeleton The skeleton was asking for it.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:46 PM (Lxw+T)

122 I'd hit this Scandi woman so hard, I'd crack her sternum. No the other one.

Posted by: Fritz at November 21, 2012 01:46 PM (mqdAz)

123 Gives new meaning to the term skull-f*ck.

Posted by: Critic at November 21, 2012 01:46 PM (BVkEs)

124 She was voted by her senior class as most likely to succeed, at f*cking the dead.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 21, 2012 01:46 PM (b+jI9)

125 To each his bone, I guess.

Posted by: Marmo at November 21, 2012 01:46 PM (pcgW1)

126 We were nice to her but explained that snark was AoS.

Posted by: Vic at November 21, 2012 01:47 PM (YdQQY)

127 Her anorexic boyfriend said this is the last straw.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 21, 2012 01:47 PM (QKKT0)

128 ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead. That smell like deviled eggs and tuna salad.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 21, 2012 01:47 PM (z7X0E)

129 Nice! My Halloween '13 is set. Stockholm, dressed like this:

http://tinyurl.com/adnwy3b

Posted by: Jim at November 21, 2012 01:47 PM (ghvk4)

130 If the skeleton was male, Gloria Allred will offer to defend the woman pro bono.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:47 PM (Lxw+T)

131 >>>wtf--does that even mean? It means they are cheating on their SO or spouse.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 21, 2012 01:48 PM (TYO2p)

132 I have an ex-boyfriend who has that listed as his "status" on his Ironman profile. wtf--does that even mean? Definition: I have someone I bang when I feel like it, and she thinks we have a relationship.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at November 21, 2012 01:48 PM (xNfNC)

133 Was her last name Addams, perchance?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 21, 2012 01:48 PM (lOmbq)

134 That smell like deviled eggs and tuna salad. I see you know my ex.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:48 PM (Lxw+T)

135 I'll bet this crazy bitch has been ejected from every Halloween prop store in town.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 21, 2012 01:48 PM (QKKT0)

136 Maybe there's a market in Sweden for fake skeletons for the people who don't want to go to prison.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 21, 2012 01:48 PM (xCa48)

137 I got a handjob from a mannequin at Sears one time, but I asked a security guard first and he told me it was legal as long as you don't make weird noises.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at November 21, 2012 01:49 PM (+lsX1)

138 Didn't Edwards tell some lame story about cracking his dead wife's rib? I bet they made that up. I wonder if he is still trying to nail waitresses at these beach bars?

Posted by: Walkers! at November 21, 2012 01:49 PM (TYO2p)

139 :::103 Nearly all other animals have penis bones. She was just finding a less creepy alternative to her bestiality kick. :::: No, that's Team Jacob.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 21, 2012 01:49 PM (z7X0E)

140 I've heard of having a skeleton in your closet, but this is taking it a bit too far.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 21, 2012 01:50 PM (lOmbq)

141 Incompetents banned from the Mall of America.

Posted by: Butters at November 21, 2012 01:50 PM (NIZHJ)

142 What. The. Fuck?

Posted by: Skeletor at November 21, 2012 01:51 PM (b+jI9)

143 Roll the bones?

Posted by: dantesed at November 21, 2012 01:51 PM (lNK7t)

144 Great. Another new porn category.

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 21, 2012 01:51 PM (ccXZP)

145 She was just finding a less creepy alternative to her bestiality kick.

Yeah, there's nothing creepy about jumping someone's bones. Literally.

Posted by: pep at November 21, 2012 01:51 PM (6TB1Z)

146 Two words: Dowager's Hump.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:51 PM (Lxw+T)

147 144 Great. Another new porn category.

pfffft. Way ahead of you.

Posted by: Germans and Japanese at November 21, 2012 01:52 PM (6TB1Z)

148 Video or it didn't happen.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 21, 2012 01:52 PM (hhVWg)

149 Dear Easy Rider Magazine, I never believed your stories were true, but one day on vacation in Stockholm....

Posted by: Jack Skellington at November 21, 2012 01:52 PM (BsGo+)

150 Western law is insufficient to address these situations. That's why I support sharia law. Once a human is dead, you have a six-hour pass to tap that ass. After that, it's just gross and wrong.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 21, 2012 01:53 PM (z7X0E)

151 I bet she loves that scene in The Stand where the guy calls for "bring out Your Dead".

Posted by: Vic at November 21, 2012 01:53 PM (YdQQY)

152 She had sex with Nancy "McRictus" Pelosi?

Ewwwwwwwww

Posted by: mpfs at November 21, 2012 01:53 PM (iYbLN)

153

Rule 34 in live action pelvis-vision.

Posted by: imp at November 21, 2012 01:53 PM (UaxA0)

154 Dowager's Hump.

Wow, how did I miss that?

Posted by: pep at November 21, 2012 01:53 PM (6TB1Z)

155 No, but (un)seriously, it's always great to find out what our blond(e), Leftist supermen and -women relatives are up to.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 21, 2012 01:54 PM (hhVWg)

156

She really earned her bones.

Really.

Posted by: imp at November 21, 2012 01:54 PM (UaxA0)

157

Wait a sec, other animals have penis bones????

Really? Seriously??

You learn something new/knew/gnu every day!!

Almost as good as knowing the 45th Presidential team:

Marco Rubio-Tom Cotton 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahaha. Everybody have a great Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 01:54 PM (tVTLU)

158 @ Gristled Encased Head: That seriously is one of the funniest things I've ever read. You are a gentlemen and a scholar.

Posted by: Ed Wood VS Godzilla at November 21, 2012 01:55 PM (BsGo+)

159 Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 05:54 PM (tVTLU) How's it going, Sam?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 21, 2012 01:55 PM (hhVWg)

160 And to think she put a bag over the skeletons skull.

Posted by: Craig Poe at November 21, 2012 01:55 PM (BVkEs)

161

Wait a sec, other animals have penis bones????

Google "Walter and penis," It should take you straight to Dave Barry's site.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 21, 2012 01:56 PM (lOmbq)

162 If youÂ’ve got any money,
Boy walk right in
DonÂ’t be scared cuz it ainÂ’t no sin
Just roll them bones
Yes roll them bones
Now just roll them bones

Big Billie Broonzy Swedish style

Posted by: Vic at November 21, 2012 01:56 PM (YdQQY)

163

MUMR:

Pretty good buddy. Btw, people were bitching because you use numbers to respond to posts and apparently when they clean out the trolls the numbers get jacked and so it's impossible to know who is responding to whom.

Just a heads up.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 01:56 PM (tVTLU)

164 Will her lawyer use the Twinkie defense?

Posted by: mpfs at November 21, 2012 01:57 PM (iYbLN)

165

You'll never believe it doc! I was just sitting here in your exam room and WHOOPS! I fell right on top of your skeleton here. . .

Posted by: imp at November 21, 2012 01:57 PM (UaxA0)

166

backwards boy:

Will do when I'm off work. Thanks.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 01:57 PM (tVTLU)

167 "I gonna fuck you within an inch of your li... Oh, wait."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 01:57 PM (Lxw+T)

168 Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 05:56 PM (tVTLU) Thanks, Sam.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 21, 2012 01:57 PM (hhVWg)

169 I wonder, did she swallow?

Posted by: mpfs at November 21, 2012 01:58 PM (iYbLN)

170 Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 05:57 PM (tVTLU) How much does teh Axe pay you, anyway?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 21, 2012 01:58 PM (hhVWg)

171 What does "teh" stand for?

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 01:58 PM (tVTLU)

172 Google "Walter and penis," It should take you straight to Dave Barry's site.

There's a story behind that bit of knowledge. Not asking you to tell it, mind you.

Posted by: fluffy at November 21, 2012 01:59 PM (z9HTb)

173 Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 05:58 PM (tVTLU) Your stupidity, Sam.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 21, 2012 01:59 PM (hhVWg)

174 I wonder, did she swallow?

What, marrow?

Posted by: fluffy at November 21, 2012 02:00 PM (z9HTb)

175 No bones about it. This is sick.

Posted by: Butters at November 21, 2012 02:01 PM (NIZHJ)

176 Who goes to see that Twilight shit and why? Is it because of the books the movie is a hit? I can't stand Kristin whatever her name is. She looks like a pill.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 21, 2012 02:03 PM (TYO2p)

177 When she finished with the femur, she was looking forward to a good pubic boning, - that is, until the family dog ran off and buried it in the yard.

Posted by: Fritz at November 21, 2012 02:03 PM (mqdAz)

178 What is it osteophelia. Did she use the femur or the pinky? He was sooooo hard.. He had a boner all over.. Wait could it have been lesbo osteophelia? She made him stiff... She was a metacarpal maniac... Does a Skelton cum?

Posted by: The crypt keeper at November 21, 2012 02:03 PM (o2sGG)

179 Maybe it was just really bad anorexia.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 02:03 PM (Lxw+T)

180 sing a song,
don't be long,
thrill me to the marrow

Posted by: Grateful Dead at November 21, 2012 02:03 PM (rzTDZ)

181 The 9th circuit just ruled that the woman may legally marry the skeleton in California.

Posted by: Daybrother at November 21, 2012 02:04 PM (+paCV)

182 Don't stop
Don't stop
Thinking about the marrow!

Posted by: Hrothgar - L.I.B or SMOD for the Children at November 21, 2012 02:04 PM (Cnqmv)

183 I will survive, maybe not.

Posted by: Butters at November 21, 2012 02:05 PM (NIZHJ)

184 Did it happen on Meatless Monday?

Posted by: OxyCon at November 21, 2012 02:05 PM (U7XyJ)

185 Alan Colmes explained. Osteophilea?

Posted by: eman at November 21, 2012 02:05 PM (bWwMZ)

186 96 Dead men tell no tales.

True but the do get it.

Posted by: WSMS at November 21, 2012 02:06 PM (9O+bH)

187 I guess being bald isn't such a liability with chicks after all.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we have a kinder, gentler tyranny at November 21, 2012 02:06 PM (Lxw+T)

188 Most guys won't admit it. but we have bony fantasies.

Posted by: eman at November 21, 2012 02:06 PM (bWwMZ)

189 I've got that song Carrickfergus stuck in my head. Get the fuck out!

Posted by: Walkers! at November 21, 2012 02:07 PM (TYO2p)

190 When your wife comes home reeking of calcium salts, call your lawyer.

Posted by: eman at November 21, 2012 02:10 PM (bWwMZ)

191 "I've heard of having a skeleton in your closet" She's gay? Bummer.

Posted by: Harry "Cryptkeeper" Reid at November 21, 2012 02:11 PM (wlab0)

192 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyhJ69mD7xI

She could tell right away,

That I was bad to the bone.

Posted by: George Thorogood at November 21, 2012 02:12 PM (ccXZP)

193 Sorry jumped (a Head)
Didn't see the tail line had been used already.

Posted by: WSMS at November 21, 2012 02:13 PM (9O+bH)

194 Are we still getting boned here?

Posted by: Vic at November 21, 2012 02:16 PM (YdQQY)

195 HRC finally found someone to bone her.

Posted by: GeorgePatton at November 21, 2012 02:19 PM (qBLA2)

196 Suddenly my collection of gravestone rubbings and Victorian funereal art seems even weirder than I thought it was.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at November 21, 2012 02:23 PM (2rMmy)

197 Say what you will, at least PETA takes this no meat thing seriously.

Posted by: Ed Wood VS Godzilla at November 21, 2012 02:27 PM (BsGo+)

198 Say what you will, at least PETA takes this no meat thing seriously.

I have to say - with all due respect - what the fuck is the matter with you?

Posted by: GeorgePatton at November 21, 2012 02:31 PM (qBLA2)

199

Say what you will, at least PETA takes this no meat thing seriously.

You win +1 internets.

Posted by: imp at November 21, 2012 02:32 PM (UaxA0)

200 It was just a joke, since the girl slept with a skeleton.

Posted by: Ed Wood VS Godzilla at November 21, 2012 02:32 PM (BsGo+)

201 Go to Hot Air's "Dude" link for photos.

This is some sick shit.

Posted by: WalrusRex at November 21, 2012 02:33 PM (VlXYw)

202

This lady just didn't understand the bit about "til death do us part".

Wow, some gals, you just can't get away from.

Posted by: theCork at November 21, 2012 02:34 PM (0M49O)

203 If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with.

Posted by: Count de Monet at November 21, 2012 02:37 PM (BAS5M)

204 202: Hey there were a couple tales from the crypt episodes that where kinda like that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO_wvF6iuiY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVp1XJusQtU

Posted by: Ed Wood VS Godzilla at November 21, 2012 02:39 PM (BsGo+)

205 Your maxilla says no, but your orbitals say yes, YES!

Posted by: Count de Monet at November 21, 2012 02:43 PM (BAS5M)

206 What does "teh" stand for? Posted by: Prescient11 at November 21, 2012 05:58 PM (tVTLU)

Here, let me throw you a "bone"! :-)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teh

Posted by: Mary in LA at November 21, 2012 03:51 PM (9wOfB)

207 She's always been looking for a humerus man, brings out the femur in her.

Posted by: Mauser757 at November 21, 2012 04:08 PM (mfWu+)

208 Cut. Jib. Newsletter etc...

Posted by: hutch1200 at November 21, 2012 04:16 PM (ZuqP3)

209 Imagine the after sex cigarette scene

Posted by: Jehu at November 21, 2012 05:00 PM (cSD32)

210 I wonder if she spoke to her skeleton in a James T. Kirk voice, calling him "BONES!"

Posted by: Jehu at November 21, 2012 05:01 PM (cSD32)

211 I wonder if her skeleton stayed in the closet?

Posted by: Jehu at November 21, 2012 05:02 PM (cSD32)

212 I'll be careful to not bring this up at dinner tomorrow with my son's fiance in attendance. She's from Stockholm. The poor girl is nervous enough around the family already.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at November 21, 2012 05:14 PM (eHwT1)

213

Next up, sex with cremation urns.

*I denounce myself*

Posted by: torabora at November 21, 2012 05:27 PM (j5ex0)

214 Which one of you morons is from Sweden?

Posted by: DC Zombie at November 21, 2012 06:10 PM (EZ3C3)

215 New fad starts,
San Fransisco will now need another city ordnance...

Posted by: Evan Maughan at November 21, 2012 07:44 PM (XGtPJ)

216 Explains the origin of the word "boner".

Posted by: Evan Maughan at November 21, 2012 07:46 PM (XGtPJ)

217

I go to see the Twilight shit. I do have a neice who was in that age wheelhouse which is why I saw the first movie and then it became a thing for us to go to the midnight showings together. But I enjoyed every single one of them.

I get why it's 'cool' to act so put-upon and moan about the Twilight franchise. Horror of horrors that there actually be a movie series that does not throw every single teen in the movie into bed with anything that moves and not have 25-30 'fuck yous' per minute. There's not even any appreciable violence!! (Vampires don't do blood flow, so when they get killed in winter, it's like a statue being exploded.) Is it sappy and silly? Yep! Lots of teenage meaningful looks? You betcha! And I wish I would have had anything half as fun to be a part of when I was my neice's age. It's a targeted set of movies for a targeted audience. It's called capitalism. I like it.

I'm 58. Team Edward. (but I totally understand Atc's Team Alice point of view.)

Posted by: dwagyak at November 21, 2012 09:14 PM (uRHcd)

218 "I mean, in order for it to be necrophilia, doesn't there technically have to be a body?"

Well, they've at least got the bare bones of a case.

Posted by: PersonFromPorlock at November 22, 2012 12:52 PM (2VCZA)

219 As long as the chick didn't use the bones to make fish stock after she was finished, I don't understand why the police were so upset. She had needs.

Posted by: daleyrocks at November 22, 2012 03:39 PM (IZEFY)

220 Jack Skellington was unavailable for comment.

Posted by: C Moss at November 25, 2012 03:45 AM (U3Vsf)

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