Ace of Spades HQ

July 11, 2012

Jay Leno: It Was So Hot, Eric Holder Was Smuggling Water Pistols!
— Ace

Video at the Blaze, with some kind of "Magic Mike" parody of Obama (Note: I have no idea what the hell this is). Then some gags:

Well the record-breaking heat that has been affecting the rest of the country now is starting to hit Los Angeles,Â” Leno began, Â“I was sweating like President Obama trying to spin the latest unemployment numbers!Â”
Â“It was so hot, Eric Holder was smuggling water pistols,Â” he continued. Â“ThatÂ’s how hot it was!Â”

I'm always curious about what the actual American public knows, obviously. We don't count. We're mutants. We know a lot. We follow this every day (well, not weekends for me, and not before the crack of two!).

But what do non-mutants know?

Based on this they seem to know about Fast and Furious, seem to understand there's something wrong there, and seem to know that the story about unemployment is not the media's preferred "We're still adding jobs, how great is that?!"

So that's something.

Speaking of funny: Mary Katharine Ham's introduction at Hot Air is pretty funny.

Finally: Blogger works for site everyone always thought she worked for anyway
...
As for what IÂ’ll be able to accomplish here, I think we can safely say that we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the time Â– when we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves, and our highest ideals.
I just ask that you never hold me accountable for any of that. Cool? Cool.

Posted by: Ace at 10:37 AM | Comments (163)
Post contains 323 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Edgy for Leno! But I wonder if any of his audience understood it.

Posted by: t-bird at July 11, 2012 10:39 AM (FcR7P)

2 Content! Wait, what?

Posted by: toby928© at July 11, 2012 10:40 AM (evdj2)

3 But...can't find anything to make fun of...and racist. Also, tried real hard.

Posted by: El Kabong at July 11, 2012 10:40 AM (FtAqz)

Posted by: t-bird at July 11, 2012 02:39 PM (FcR7P)

I doubt it!

Posted by: Crispian at July 11, 2012 10:40 AM (uBMtY)

Wha? Is the dam breaking? Leno taking potshots like that?

Could this be the beginning of a preference cascade?

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at July 11, 2012 10:41 AM (tuOLO)

6 Good, but Leno's as funny as Bob Hope's last TV special.

Posted by: nickless at July 11, 2012 10:41 AM (MMC8r)

7 So Hollywood now thinks Obama is "funny".

Posted by: Vic at July 11, 2012 10:42 AM (YdQQY)

8 LOTB
Lord of the Buttholes?

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at July 11, 2012 10:42 AM (sClIO)

9 THE BALLS!!!!!

Posted by: Honey Badgerwitz, drinker of mead, practicer of skullduggery at July 11, 2012 10:42 AM (GvYeG)

10 [Rimshot]

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at July 11, 2012 10:43 AM (RD7QR)

11 Wow! Only three years into his Administration and we can officially make fun of ze Robama (who is like, how you say? ze cat)? Gotta be a world's record!

Posted by: jwpaine at July 11, 2012 10:43 AM (FUozQ)

12 Take my Attorney General...please!

Posted by: Hennybama at July 11, 2012 10:43 AM (jm/9g)

13 >>>Wha? Is the dam breaking? Leno taking potshots like that? Could this be the beginning of a preference cascade? Not based on this. Leno and Fallon take occasional shots at obama. This isn't new. It's still so rare it's blog content when it happens, though.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2012 10:44 AM (115KO)

14 Jay Leno is a libtard, I got mine fuck you, I love the president come on my show, Johnny picked me, piece of shit. Him and Letterman can both get .....

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 10:44 AM (9TTOe)

15 As a mutant, I can tell you that the blissfully ignorant "normals" know dick-all about nothing. And I envy them.

Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 10:44 AM (G/zuv)

16 Well, I guess this means every white person over 50 knows about it then.

Posted by: runninrebel at July 11, 2012 10:44 AM (Kssjk)

17 Just flew in from Kenya, and man, are my arms tired!

Posted by: Hennybama's Smarter Dummy at July 11, 2012 10:44 AM (FUozQ)

18 Boo!

Posted by: NAACP at July 11, 2012 10:45 AM (FcR7P)

19 Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 02:44 PM (G/zuv)

I envy them...and pity them. Usually at the same time.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at July 11, 2012 10:45 AM (nEUpB)

Anyone else ever notice how Conan O'Brien never never never ever goofs on Obama or any democrat? He only goofs on Republicans. At least Letterman, once in a blue moon, goofs on the dems. It's super rare, but it's not never.

Posted by: Fresh at July 11, 2012 10:46 AM (O7ksG)

21 "...and then my dad said 'Beautiful. Just fucking beautiful.'"

Posted by: Unindicted Sock Puppet To Be Named Later at July 11, 2012 10:46 AM (FUozQ)

22 Hmm. 2.45 EST and Ace is posting? Those Val-U-Rite hangovers just don't have the punch they used to, I guess.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 11, 2012 10:47 AM (zF6Iw)

23 That last update is funny.

Posted by: toby928© at July 11, 2012 10:47 AM (evdj2)

24 It was so hot, the White House served the Obamas Philadelphia Pepper Pot Poodle Soup on ice.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel Leno at July 11, 2012 10:47 AM (eHIJJ)

25 Wasn't there a poll recently showing 53% support among the general public for the Holder contempt charge? I think that demonstrates the non-mutants 'know.' This demonstrates that Leno expects his audience to know and that they won't flip channels on him for commenting on it. Which is still good.

Posted by: Methos at July 11, 2012 10:47 AM (6LvlL)

26 Anyone else ever notice how Conan O'Brien never never never ever goofs on Obama or any democrat? You gots to pay your dues if you want to make it back to real TV.

Posted by: t-bird at July 11, 2012 10:47 AM (FcR7P)

27 But it's stolen from Hotair, which must be meta-irony or something.

Posted by: toby928© at July 11, 2012 10:48 AM (evdj2)

28 MKH is too cool for HA.

Or are they sick of the audience Poppinfresh got them?

Posted by: nickless at July 11, 2012 10:49 AM (MMC8r)

29 Mary Katharine Ham rocks.

Posted by: Fresh at July 11, 2012 10:49 AM (O7ksG)

30 (well, not weekends for me, and not before the crack of two!).

There are benefits to the Obama Economy after all!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at July 11, 2012 10:49 AM (71LDo)

31 Good, but Leno's as funny as Bob Hope's last TV special.
Posted by: nickless
...........
Actually, his monologue is the funniest part of the show! But, that ain't saying much.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 11, 2012 10:50 AM (f9c2L)

32 Hello, IRS, got another one for you to add to the list

Posted by: Barack Insane Obama at July 11, 2012 10:50 AM (136wp)

33 Magic Mike is a movie about male strippers. Of course, I only know that because they talk about it on Red Eye.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at July 11, 2012 10:50 AM (d9tUw)

34 I say again ... THE BALLS!!!!

Posted by: Honey Badgerwitz, drinker of mead, practicer of skullduggery at July 11, 2012 10:50 AM (GvYeG)

35 29 Mary Katharine Ham rocks. Posted by: Fresh at July 11, 2012 02:49 PM (O7ksG) Really? She chose tepid air over being Aces love Monkey. I question her choices.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 10:51 AM (9TTOe)

Ace, I'd have to say that even though he's taken a few potshots at Obama before, the quality of these is rather stunning in comparison. Normally the jokes are of a more complimentary type, not sharp jabs at his problems and weaknesses like this.

It used to be, be fore Leno, that if a politician got mocked like that on the Tonight Show, he might as well resign as there was no outlasting that. It's not the same now, of course, but it is a sign that this stuff is leaking out to the low-information populace enough to joke about it, and not in a way that flatters the President.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at July 11, 2012 10:51 AM (tuOLO)

37 The funny ad bit's aight.

Posted by: eleven at July 11, 2012 10:51 AM (KXm42)

38 The Magic Mike bit isn't really even goofing on Obama. It's actually praising him for using pop culture, just in a silly way.

Posted by: nickless at July 11, 2012 10:51 AM (MMC8r)

39 When I last watched eight years ago anyway.

Posted by: eleven at July 11, 2012 10:51 AM (KXm42)

40 The reasons why many people are still concerned about unemployment in spite of the liberal media pushing a positive attitude about it: 1. Many people who are working are under-employed, cut hours, cut pay, or working in retail just to get a job 2. They see the nervousness about job security all around them 3. They know that many people are no longer looking, living in Mom's basement 4. They know people who are able to paint their houses, go deer hunting, but have gone on disability 5. They know small business owners who have stated that they will not go above the magic Obamatax number of 50 employees 6. They know businesses owners and managers who hate Obama and liberals in general

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 11, 2012 10:52 AM (b/+PA)

41 "(Note: I have no idea what the hell this [Magic Mike] is)"
=====

Sure you don't, Ace. Sure you don't.

Posted by: Kensington at July 11, 2012 10:52 AM (/AHDz)

42 29 Mary Katharine Ham rocks.

Did someone say ham hocks?

Posted by: Meghan McCain at July 11, 2012 10:52 AM (5UU+7)

I just ask that you never hold me accountable for any of that. Cool? Cool.

LOVE IT.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 10:52 AM (4df7R)

44 I was just chatting with my pool boy. Yeah, I have a pool boy. He said he wasn't all that happy with Obama but he would vote for him anyway because he would never, ever, vote for a Republican. Never.

Posted by: Jaynie59 at July 11, 2012 10:53 AM (4zKCA)

45 I tell you what both the mutants and non-mutants know: the price of gasoline.

Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 10:53 AM (G/zuv)

Mary Katharine Ham rocks.

She's no Dana Loesch.

Posted by: garrett at July 11, 2012 10:53 AM (+dnNp)

47 When comedians make fun of Barry's stammering, then it will be something.

Posted by: toby928© at July 11, 2012 10:53 AM (evdj2)

Magic Mike. Isn't that that new movie with Matthew Mccconadalkjggyeh (I can never remember how to spell his damn name) and a bunch of other guys getting all greased up and stripping, ala Chippendales?

I DO NOT want to see an Obama-related video that IN ANY WAY associates him with stripping. I just... No.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 10:53 AM (4df7R)

49 Someone please make toby a sammich!

Posted by: Y-not at July 11, 2012 10:54 AM (5H6zj)

50 LOTB
Leveraged Organ Troupe Ballet?

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at July 11, 2012 10:54 AM (sClIO)

51 @38: I don't quite take it that way. I mean, the mere fact that he's Photoshopping a sitting President onto a cheezy male stripper movie is A Thing compared to the usual media reverence for Obama.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 11, 2012 10:54 AM (tqwMN)

52 That's raaacist! And Leno is a rich white strait male! SOCIAL JUSTICE dictates that he is wrong and that Eric Holder is right because white people are always wrong and oppressors and anglonormative and stuff. The problem isn't with the Chicano liberators (AKA "drug cartels") or with beautiful African Eric Holder (why won't he reject his oppressive slave name?), but with white people. They are the cause of all evil and they are just as much slaves for not doing what the super-duper sciene of SOCIAL JUSTICE dictates! NO JSUTICE NO PEACE!!!~!!1! NO JSUTICE NO PEACE!!!~!!1! NO JSUTICE NO PEACE!!!~!!1!

Posted by: Social SCIENTIST Graduate Student at July 11, 2012 10:54 AM (XvHmy)

53 Meg McCain has some competition: http://tiny.cc/5dpahw
from breitbart: "Huntsman Daughter Slams Palin, Republicans on CNN"

Posted by: s u n s h i n e at July 11, 2012 10:54 AM (oZfic)

54
Mary Katharine Ham rocks.

She's no Dana Loesch.
----------------

They can fight it out.

In jello.

Posted by: nickless at July 11, 2012 10:54 AM (MMC8r)

55 44 I was just chatting with my pool boy. Yeah, I have a pool boy. He said he wasn't all that happy with Obama but he would vote for him anyway because he would never, ever, vote for a Republican. Never.

Posted by: Jaynie59 at July 11, 2012 02:53 PM (4zKCA)

I trust you kicked him into the pool?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 10:54 AM (4df7R)

56 Leno is the only late night comic I've seen who is willing to even tell an Obama joke. (Unless Conan does, but I rarely see his show.)

Kimmel's and Letterman's writers are all stuck in the same mud, unwilling and apparently unable to see any comedy in anything ANY Democrat does or says. Totally In The Tank. No imagination whatsoever.

Letterman is dead to me. I used to be a big fan back in the days of his NBC show- stupid pet tricks, Larry 'Bud' Melman, Dropping Stuff... but then came 9/11 and George Bush and Iraq, and Letterman went Total Moonbat on me... what a dick. And he cheats on his wife. And he's a dick.

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (8sCoq)

57 Didn't MKH marry some liberal douche? Thought I read that here once.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (nZvGM)

58 The best thing you can say about Jay Leno? He's not Dave Letterman.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (b/+PA)

59 I don't watch Leno or Letterman but in my opinion at least Leno offers a little bit of fairness in his monologs.

Letterman is a liberal tool who's net worth exceeds that of Romney and show no sense of irony when he slams him for being rich.

Posted by: General Woundwort at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (06lNq)

60 After a failed missile launching, aborted diplomacy with Washington, and continuing international pressure over the countryÂ’s nuclear program, North KoreaÂ’s untested young leader has tried once again to take a dramatic step with his isolated, impoverished nation, this time with a bit of unapproved help from Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh.

North Korean state-run television on Monday showed footage of costumed versions of Tigger, Minnie Mouse and other Disney characters prancing in front of the leader Kim Jong-un, and an entourage of clapping generals.

The footage also showed Mr. Kim in a black Mao suit watching as Mickey Mouse conducted a group of young women playing violins in skimpy black dresses. At times, scenes from the animated Disney movies Â“DumboÂ” and Â“Snow White and the Seven DwarfsÂ” were projected on a multipanel screen behind the entertainers; an article in the state-run press said unnamed foreign songs were on the bill.

The appearance of the characters from the United States, North KoreaÂ’s mortal enemy, was remarkable fare on tightly controlled North Korean television, which usually shows more somber and overtly political programs. A Disney spokeswoman, Zenia Mucha, had no comment Monday beyond a statement: Â“This was not licensed or authorized by the Walt Disney Company.Â”....

The performance was not the first time the Kim dynastyÂ’s fate had been entwined with Disney. In 2001, the current leaderÂ’s older brother, Kim Jong-nam, was apparently banished from the line of succession after being detained by the Japanese authorities while trying to enter Japan on a Dominican Republic passport to visit Tokyo Disneyland.

Posted by: Tiggr at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (e8kgV)

61 LOTB: League of the Boned

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (4df7R)

62 Wasn't there a poll recently showing 53% support among the general public for the Holder contempt charge? I think that demonstrates the non-mutants 'know.' This demonstrates that Leno expects his audience to know and that they won't flip channels on him for commenting on it. Which is still good.

Posted by: Methos at July 11, 2012 02:47 PM (6LvlL)

----------->>>

I thought that the fact that 13% were undecided about the merit of the contempt citation was also very interesting. Considering the almost complete embargo on the Fast and Furious story, a sizeable chunk of the respondents knew the media wasn't giving enough information.

Posted by: Retired Buckeye Cop at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (M0NzJ)

63 I'm a mutant? Well, I guess that explains the third arm. And the fourth nut. Oh, and MKH is still pretty hot even if she did get married. And that came out wrong, but you know what I mean.

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (RD7QR)

64 26 t-bird. Right. Jokes on Obama are so conspicuously absent, it's seems as if it is a statement. Perhaps (maybe perhaps) (just a feeling) Connan isn't a democrat hack, he's just pleasing the higher ups.

Posted by: Fresh at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (O7ksG)

65 44 get another pool boy.

Posted by: Infidel at July 11, 2012 10:55 AM (O/fK8)

66 I was just chatting with my pool boy. Yeah, I have a pool boy. He said he wasn't all that happy with Obama but he would vote for him anyway because he would never, ever, vote for a Republican. Never.

Key phrase being "pool boy". If Pool Boy is anywhere near 30 the irony increases exponentially.

Posted by: eleven at July 11, 2012 10:56 AM (KXm42)

67 wasn't all that happy with Obama but he would vote for him anyway because he would never, ever, vote for a Republican. That would be a good spot in the conversation for a "Why?"

Posted by: t-bird at July 11, 2012 10:56 AM (FcR7P)

68 Letterman is dead to me. I used to be a big fan back in the days of his NBC show- stupid pet tricks, Larry 'Bud' Melman, Dropping Stuff... but then came 9/11 and George Bush and Iraq, and Letterman went Total Moonbat on me... what a dick. And he cheats on his wife. And he's a dick. Posted by: Jones in CO at July 11, 2012 02:55 PM (8sCoq) Did you forget to mention, he's a dick...

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 11, 2012 10:56 AM (136wp)

69 Letterman is a smarmy, pompous dick. In the club with Bill Maher.

Posted by: Honey Badgerwitz, drinker of mead, practicer of skullduggery at July 11, 2012 10:56 AM (GvYeG)

They can fight it out.

In jello.

as long as it isn't baked beans.

Posted by: garrett at July 11, 2012 10:57 AM (LGEdp)

71 I smell cat pee.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 11, 2012 10:57 AM (TIIx5)

thought that the fact that 13% were undecided about the merit of the contempt citation was also very interesting. Considering the almost complete embargo on the Fast and Furious story, a sizeable chunk of the respondents knew the media wasn't giving enough information.

31% did not know who the chinless one is.

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at July 11, 2012 10:58 AM (mFxQX)

73 Huntsman Daughter Slams Palin, Republicans on CNN
--
Like father, like daughter.

Posted by: RioBravo at July 11, 2012 10:58 AM (eEfYn)

74 44 I was just chatting with my pool boy. Yeah, I have a pool boy. He said he wasn't all that happy with Obama but he would vote for him anyway because he would never, ever, vote for a Republican. Never.

Posted by: Jaynie59 at July 11, 2012 02:53 PM (4zKCA)

Time for a new pool boy? Tell him he just lost his job due to Obama. You just can't afford him any more.

Posted by: Full Pint at July 11, 2012 10:58 AM (7g1yh)

75 Did someone say ham hocks?

Posted by: Meghan McCain at July 11, 2012 02:52 PM (5UU+7)

***

Ram cocks??

Posted by: Barny F. at July 11, 2012 10:58 AM (eavT+)

76 I don't particularly like Leno, but I don't hate him. I HATE Letterman. And not just because of his retarded anti-conservative humor. Because he is still doing that stupid guy voice and other assorted smirks and mannerisms that he was doing 30 years ago. They weren't funny then, and they're not funny now. His staff members should find time, in between screwing him, to tell him the truth about his so called humor.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 11, 2012 10:58 AM (b/+PA)

77 50 LOTB
Leveraged Organ Troupe Ballet?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 11, 2012 02:54 PM (sClIO)

Localized Oil Tube Burnout. One of the regular trolls could provide a detailed explanation of the phenomenon.

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at July 11, 2012 10:59 AM (RD7QR)

78 Huntsman Daughter Slams Palin, Republicans on CNN There was a damn good reason he gained no traction.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 10:59 AM (9TTOe)

79 >Did you forget to mention, he's a dick...

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 11, 2012 02:56 PM (136wp)

Total dick.

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 11, 2012 10:59 AM (8sCoq)

80 LOTB: League of the Boned Posted by: MWR,

Ah, TFETA. GTKTWCJUAN. Don't you think?

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at July 11, 2012 10:59 AM (sClIO)

81 I have a pool girl........Mrs Sailor.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 10:59 AM (9TTOe)

Posted by: Jaynie59 at July 11, 2012 02:53 PM (4zKCA)

Now thats my kind of pool boy!!

Posted by: Barny F. at July 11, 2012 11:00 AM (eavT+)

83 31% did not know who the chinless one is.

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at July 11, 2012 02:58 PM (mFxQX)

When shown a picture, the majority of them said, "Oh, you mean the guy who dates Oprah?"

The remaining respondents said, "Wait, isn't that the guy who played Cosby's dad on The Cosby Show?"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 11:00 AM (4df7R)

Huntsman Daughter Slams Palin

Into the Jell-O Pit with them!

Posted by: garrett at July 11, 2012 11:00 AM (LGEdp)

85 didn't I read the other day that Huntsman plans on skipping the convention out of protest? First, who is Huntsman? Second, why does he think anyone would either want him at the convention or notice his absence?

Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 11:00 AM (G/zuv)

86 "Huntsman Daughter Slams Palin" This would be so much better if it was girl-on-girl pron title.

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 11, 2012 11:01 AM (136wp)

Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico

10. Lost a football bet to Pablo Escobar.

9. He afraid of chupacabras.

8. Promised his gardener that he would if the gardener wouldn't use the leaf blower before 10:00 A.M.

7. Bush's fault.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 11, 2012 11:01 AM (jUZRg)

88 >Huntsman Daughter Slams Palin, Republicans on CNN

BFD. Her opinion and 50 cents gets you coffee at 7-11.

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 11, 2012 11:01 AM (8sCoq)

89 Ah, TFETA. GTKTWCJUAN. Don't you think?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 11, 2012 02:59 PM (sClIO)

ISWYDT.

IAB. IDRTC.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 11:01 AM (4df7R)

90 That isn't the first Leno F&F crack. He unloaded (so to speak) in a monologue 7-10 days ago with a quip that hit pretty hard at Holder. I'm surprised it didn't make Mediaite.

Posted by: mrp at July 11, 2012 11:01 AM (HjPtV)

91 In french that would be ... ZE BALLS!!!

Posted by: Honey Badgerwitz, drinker of mead, practicer of skullduggery at July 11, 2012 11:02 AM (GvYeG)

92 44--- Well, if he were MY pool boy (who is totally imaginary and gorgeous beyond belief,) I would lock him in the imaginary cabana all day until the polls close.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at July 11, 2012 11:02 AM (C8mVl)

93 New AoS acronym: WGF

'who gives a fuck'

Try it!

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 11, 2012 11:02 AM (8sCoq)

94 86 didn't I read the other day that Huntsman plans on skipping the convention out of protest? First, who is Huntsman? Second, why does he think anyone would either want him at the convention or notice his absence? Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 03:00 PM (G/zuv) The Gulfstream is in for it's annual. No way I'm flying commercial. They don't even serve caviar anymore in 1st class.

Posted by: Jon Huntsman at July 11, 2012 11:02 AM (136wp)

95 LOTB

Loyal Order of the Terminally Boned

Posted by: Buzzsaw at July 11, 2012 11:02 AM (tf9Ne)

96 didn't I read the other day that Huntsman plans on skipping the convention out of protest? At this rate, Obama will be able to hold his convention in his office. (and, yes, I know)

Posted by: t-bird at July 11, 2012 11:02 AM (FcR7P)

97 Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico

.
.
.

6. Thought it would be cool to find out personally how to hide an AK-47 while wearing only shorts.

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at July 11, 2012 11:02 AM (RD7QR)

98 They all have access to the same trending material. If the others like Obrien, Stuart Kimmel aren't running with it it's because they are making a conscious choice not to.

Posted by: ryukyu at July 11, 2012 11:03 AM (MOHSR)

99 I've hated Letterman ever since he switched to CBS. His show stopped being funny and just became bitter. 9/11 made that a million times worse, but he was already unwatchable before then.

Leno, on the other hand, has "Jay Leno's Garage" (dot com) to recommend him. What other TV personality posts HD video of themselves screwing up on a rebuild of a 1906 car and blowing all the hair off their arms in a large fireball?

Posted by: Ian S. at July 11, 2012 11:03 AM (tqwMN)

100
Huntsman Daughter Slams Palin, Republicans on CNN

There was a damn good reason he gained no traction.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 02:59 PM (9TTOe)

Yeah, the whole "Manchurian Republican" thing.....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 11, 2012 11:03 AM (TIIx5)

101 "First, who is Huntsman?"

Does he make the "conservative" ketchup? MMM... ketchup

Posted by: Meghan McCain at July 11, 2012 11:03 AM (5UU+7)

102 This would be so much better if it was girl-on-girl pron title.

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 11, 2012 03:01 PM (136wp)

Considering cat-piss-troll's proclivity for posting ghey pr0n links, are you sure it isn't?

Posted by: Inspector Spacetime at July 11, 2012 11:03 AM (ggRof)

103

Jimmy Fallon won't riff on the Preezy because... well, I think it's obvious.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 11:04 AM (4df7R)

104 The Ouroboros of the Left noms again:

"According to the Wall Street Journal, city agencies in San Francisco will no longer be able to purchase Apple products after the company asked the Electronic Product Environmental Assessment Tool (EPEAT) Â— the group that sets environmental standards for electronics Â— to remove all 39 of its products from the agencyÂ’s green registry."

And these are the people that want to run health care.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at July 11, 2012 11:04 AM (sClIO)

105 @57 MKH is married??? Shit.....well I guess I've always got my bunk.

Posted by: kehoebell@gmail.com at July 11, 2012 11:05 AM (R/8dI)

106 98 Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico . . . 6. Thought it would be cool to find out personally how to hide an AK-47 while wearing only shorts. Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at July 11, 2012 03:02 PM (RD7QR) 5. This 2nd Amendment isn't gonna repeal itself

Posted by: Jon Huntsman at July 11, 2012 11:05 AM (136wp)

107 A joke works because it's a surprise. You laugh at things that are unexpected. But in order to make that happen, the audience has to understand the underlying assumptions.

If you make a joke about airline food to people who have never flown, you won't get much of a laugh. Dennis Miller has a limited audience because a number of the references are too literary or obscure. He sprinkles in broader jokes, but if you are going to make a joke about the rhythm structure of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poetry, you aren't going to get much of a laugh.

Although Leno's jokes are manufactured and aren't exactly focus-group tested, clearly somebody in the writers' room thought that a reference to Fast and Furious would be understandable to enough of the audience that it was worth leaving in.

If you'd never heard of Fast and Furious, that would go right over your head. It'd be meaningless. Hell, for that matter, you have to know who Eric Holder is.

Posted by: AmishDude at July 11, 2012 11:05 AM (J5tI6)

108 Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico

.
.
.

5. He wanted a "Gun Dealer of the Year" from Mexico too.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 11, 2012 11:06 AM (C8hzL)

109

Just tell pool boy that Page 1356 of the ACA contains a clause that requires all pool boys of America to service Nancy Pelosi at least once - in the cold light of day.

That could persuade him to vote GOP, just this once.

Posted by: kallisto at July 11, 2012 11:06 AM (jm/9g)

110

Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico

#4) Cuz come on, what's a few dead Mexicans, amiright?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 11:06 AM (4df7R)

111 Welcome to the Celebrity for Republican Dummies program. Let's begin. What do you want? >I want to be popular. *processing* Okay. Do you like Sarah Palin? >No. Good. Do you have a press agent? >Of course. Good. Have your agent book you on MSNBC to talk about Sarah Palin. Good luck!

Posted by: soothsayer-dos at July 11, 2012 11:06 AM (G/zuv)

112 103 This would be so much better if it was girl-on-girl pron title. Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 11, 2012 03:01 PM (136wp) Considering cat-piss-troll's proclivity for posting ghey pr0n links, are you sure it isn't? Posted by: Inspector Spacetime at July 11, 2012 03:03 PM (ggRof) Ya know, I'm not. But I'm too afraid to click.

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 11, 2012 11:07 AM (136wp)

113

Ace posts the girl on girl pron.

Catpiss posts the Barney Frank pron.

Posted by: garrett at July 11, 2012 11:08 AM (LGEdp)

114 Jones in CO: "...what a dick. And he cheats on his wife. And he's a dick."

You had me at "dick."

Posted by: Ambiguously Gay Obama at July 11, 2012 11:08 AM (eHIJJ)

115 112 Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico . . . . #4) Cuz come on, what's a few dead Mexicans, amiright? Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 03:06 PM (4df7R) 3. What's a few hundred dead Mexicans that aren't registered to vote in the US?

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 11, 2012 11:08 AM (136wp)

116 94 New AoS acronym: WGF

'who gives a fuck'

Try it!

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 11, 2012 03:02 PM (8sCoq)

AoS acronym??

WGF??

****

Hey it does work!! cool!!!

Posted by: dananjcon at July 11, 2012 11:09 AM (eavT+)

117 It's so hot jokes, just happen to get an email today.

IT'S SO HOT in Indiana.....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.
.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
.....hot water comes from both taps.
.....you can make sun tea instantly.
.....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
.....the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly.
.....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
.....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
.....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
.....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 A.M.
.....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?
.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
.....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.
.....the cows are giving evaporated milk.
.....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
IT'S SO DRY IN Indiana that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

Posted by: DaveA at July 11, 2012 11:09 AM (864A5)

118 First, who is Huntsman? Second, why does he think anyone would either want him at the convention or notice his absence?

Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 03:00 PM (G/zuv)

Like oZfic?

Posted by: Full Pint at July 11, 2012 11:09 AM (7g1yh)

119
..... cant believe that Ace is making MKH share a thread with Jay Leno.

The lovely Ms. Ham certainly deserves her own thread.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 11, 2012 11:10 AM (C8hzL)

120 112 Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico . #2. All the coke he could snort.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 11:10 AM (9TTOe)

121 Jon Huntsman: He is who we thought he was.

Posted by: AmishDude at July 11, 2012 11:10 AM (J5tI6)

122

I just had the following thought cross my mind:

"I wonder what Keith Olbermann is doing right now. I hope it hurts."

This observation is apropos of nothing, except that it's the first time I've thought about Keith Olbermann since he was spotted wandering around Central Park in a red hoodie and mom jeans a few months back. I felt it needed memorializing.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 11:11 AM (4df7R)

123 My sister worked for a company that rented stage props and talked to Leno on the phone.

I forget what kind of prop he was looking for, but he didn' have his secretary or some flunky make the calls for him. Anyways, she says Leno over the phone is just like Leno on TV. She says he was very polite and joked around just like he does on The Tonight Show.

I've heard Leno bash Democrats numerous times and I think he's a closet conservative.

OT/ My sister also denied John Denver a room at the hotel she was night clerking at. The hotel was full and Denver tried the "do you know who I am?" shtick. That offended her enough to tell him "yes, and you still can't get a room."

Posted by: Drinking Heavily and Early at July 11, 2012 11:11 AM (7+pP9)

124

I'm still shocked at how many of you listen to backtalk from your domestics. A pool boy is consulted about his politics? Further, an unsatisfactory opinion is rendered by said pole-jockey?

Look, these people pick up and move every day, back with their parents, back to their country. Some of them move to Florida and prey on the elderly (should be encouraged.) These are disposable people--nobody will miss them. So consider beating the tar out of them with lawn tools, like a rake or shovel. Sure beats listening to their half-baked opinions and worse, feelings.

If one of their neglected brats should arrive looking for them, it's "Hey, Pablito, your padre shucked his ass back to Honduras. Take a hint."

Posted by: spongeworthy at July 11, 2012 11:11 AM (r5w1L)

125 123 Jon Huntsman: He is who we thought he was. Posted by: AmishDude at July 11, 2012 03:10 PM (J5tI6) Jon Huntsman, the other white Obama

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 11, 2012 11:11 AM (136wp)

126 112 Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico . #1 Because Obama told him to.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 11:11 AM (9TTOe)

127 If you're a talentless daughter of an extremely wealthy family, you can make a sex video to gain celebrity. And if you're a bored, insipid daughter of a politician, you can get yourself an appearance on CNN or MSNBC to trash-talk Sarah Palin, American values, and half the American population.

Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 11:12 AM (G/zuv)

128 It's so hot, the farmers are feeding crushed ice to chickens so they won't lay hard-boiled eggs

Thanks, Dad

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 11, 2012 11:12 AM (8sCoq)

129 Let the rapid-fire threads begin!

Posted by: Tami at July 11, 2012 11:12 AM (X6akg)

130 And if you're a bored, insipid daughter of a politician, you can get yourself an appearance on CNN or MSNBC to trash-talk Sarah Palin, American values, and half the American population. Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 03:12 PM (G/zuv) Then you can get laid by an OWS protester.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 11:13 AM (9TTOe)

131 #1 Because Obama told him to.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 03:11 PM (9TTOe)

Cut. Jib. Newsletter.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 11, 2012 11:13 AM (4df7R)

132 107 98 Top Ten Reasons Holder Smuggled Machineguns to Mexico

.
.
.

6. Thought it would be cool to find out personally how to hide an AK-47 while wearing only shorts.
Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at July 11, 2012 03:02 PM (RD7QR)

5. This 2nd Amendment isn't gonna repeal itself 4. With 'Cash for Clunkers' over, it time for a new alliteration, "Bazooka's for Beaners"

Posted by: Cu'Chulainn at July 11, 2012 11:13 AM (lOnIe)

133 O/T

Apparently Hugo Chavez is not a national security threat, since January 2009.

http://miamiherald.typepad.com/nakedpolitics/2012/07/ obama-to-miami-anchor-hugo-ch%C3%A1vez- has-not-posed-serious-national-security-threat.html

Two spaces to correct for the right link

Posted by: The Q at July 11, 2012 11:13 AM (B/yDO)

134 Holy bad formatting batman ! I'd try that again but I'm afraid I may take something down.

Posted by: Cu'Chulainn at July 11, 2012 11:14 AM (lOnIe)

135 >I'm still shocked at how many of you listen to backtalk from your domestics.

Every Monday morning, I have one of the staff beaten and sacked, as a warning to the others.

Posted by: Hedley Smythe-Jones in CO at July 11, 2012 11:14 AM (8sCoq)

136 4. With 'Cash for Clunkers' over, it time for a new alliteration, "Bazooka's for Beaners" Mexiguns for Mexico

Posted by: t-bird at July 11, 2012 11:15 AM (FcR7P)

137 spongeworthy is right. I'll bet some of you are polite to cab drivers, too. Never be nice to a cabby. And if they're yapping on their cellphone to mohammed, you tell them to shut the fuck up and drive.

Posted by: soothsayer at July 11, 2012 11:15 AM (G/zuv)

138
OT/ My sister also denied John Denver a room at the hotel she was night clerking at. The hotel was full and Denver tried the "do you know who I am?" shtick. That offended her enough to tell him "yes, and you still can't get a room."

Posted by: Drinking Heavily and Early at July 11, 2012 03:11 PM (7+pP9)

And then I had to fly to Monterey just to get a hotel room.......

Posted by: Zombie John Denver at July 11, 2012 11:17 AM (TIIx5)

139 I just threw up a little in my mouth. Thanks, Jay.

Posted by: Vegan Meatball at July 11, 2012 11:17 AM (mxnUd)

140 My question is whether MKH will improve Tepid Air or Tepid Air will hurt MKH.

Posted by: Drinking Early and Heavily at July 11, 2012 11:19 AM (7+pP9)

141 Oops, that splashed.

What if Jay's just trying EH out for a quick trip under the bus. A few bumps and a pardon when it will do the least harm.

Posted by: DaveA at July 11, 2012 11:19 AM (864A5)

142

140 Exactly.

And that cologne they keep on the dash, thinking it covers up their rancid curry-sweat? Snatch it off the dash and fling it out the window at a cop car. Swear you heard the cabbie say, "Allah Akbar" before he threw it.

This can actually be pretty amusing, Try it!

Posted by: spongeworthy at July 11, 2012 11:19 AM (r5w1L)

143 Drinking Heavily and Early: "...Denver tried the '"do you know who I am?' shtick. That offended her enough to tell him 'yes, and you still can't get a room.'"

Good answer, but I'd have appended: "Jane Boulder just got the last room. Complain to her."

Posted by: Smartass Reservations at July 11, 2012 11:21 AM (eHIJJ)

144 Then you can get laid by an OWS protester.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 11, 2012 03:13 PM (9TTOe)

We approve this message.

Posted by: Penicillin manufacturers at July 11, 2012 11:24 AM (DrWcr)

145
61 North Korean state-run television on Monday showed footage of costumed versions of Tigger, Minnie Mouse and other Disney characters prancing in front of the leader Kim Jong-un, and an entourage of clapping generals.

Posted by: Tiggr at July 11, 2012 02:55 PM (e8kgV)

What did I read? "Clapping genitals", followed immediately by recollecting the CongressPedo from Oregon who dressed up as Tigger.

Way too little sleep last night, IOW.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at July 11, 2012 11:28 AM (0AClR)

146 Nothing gets the circulation going like giving a domestic a good thrashing with your walking stick.

Posted by: toby928© at July 11, 2012 11:28 AM (evdj2)

147 The first Leno crack at F&F that I know of was made during the 6/28/12 monologue.

Here is a link (writingshares.com - the site seems OK and the F&F/Holder/Obama quips are all in the Part 1 video. The last joke at the end (the poll stating that Obama would be better than Romney against space aliens is worth the price of admission.)) LINK : http://preview.tinyurl.com/7mgl6eb

Posted by: mrp at July 11, 2012 11:35 AM (HjPtV)

148 A buddy of mine from Atlanta used to write material for Leno. (Still does maybe?) I like to think he wrote that one.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 11, 2012 11:36 AM (tGvo7)

149 I'm the guy who's cleaning pools cuz I like to stay high on scooby 24/7 and can't hold any other job- and you're asking me questions? And actually paying attention to my answers? Dude.

Posted by: Pool Boy at July 11, 2012 11:36 AM (54vf8)

150 #44, I hope you told the guy that he would always be a pool boy with that attitude.

Posted by: Will Not Assimilate For Food at July 11, 2012 11:36 AM (kXoT0)

151

When I hear bad things about the economy and unemployment, I sometimes wonder what the average non-aware person thinks about it. You know what I've learned to go by? COMMERCIALS!

The people making commercials (real ones, not ads for Foods Stamps, or whatever) are just focused on making sales, and so they bend over backwards to be in tune with the public - spending a lot of money to do so. Basically, this amount to "studies" - only the kind that demand REAL answers, vs. the kind of "studies" acadamia is famous for.

What I notice in these commercials is there are is no shortage of references to "especially in THIS economy". So, yeah, they GET IT.

On the flip side, the general public still likes to feel good about themselves by "going green". Even there, however, this is usually in a "as long as it doesn't really cost me anything" sense. Nobody's trying to pitch that you should sacrifice (pay more) for the "green" - people expect it as an "extra" that comes along at the usual price.

Posted by: Optimizer at July 11, 2012 11:37 AM (As94z)

152 "74 Huntsman Daughter Slams Palin, Republicans on CNN" The Huntsman's are just pissed off because after all those months of campaigning for president, people still don't know who the hell he is.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 11, 2012 11:38 AM (b/+PA)

153 Went with a girlfriend to see Magic Mike because all our other girlfriends were going. We thought it would be a hoot. Nope, just another movie about the sad life of strippers as meat and eventual druggies. Even the stripping and dance scenes were boring.

Posted by: Will Not Assimilate For Food at July 11, 2012 11:40 AM (kXoT0)

154

I want Mary Katherine Ham to bear my children.

Except for the facts that I'm twice her age, I have two seventeen year olds, and both my wife and her husband would kill me, it's a realistic fantasy.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at July 11, 2012 11:42 AM (+ciOu)

155 Did you read (or absorb) the part where MKH says she hates people who spell her name incorrectly as "Ham". It's Hamm.

Posted by: air65cav at July 11, 2012 11:42 AM (8L/2l)

156 Is it hot in here, or is it just Mary Katherine Ham?

Posted by: Max Power at July 11, 2012 11:49 AM (q177U)

157

158: Her Hot Air byline says "Ham." So does Wikipedia, FWIW.

We share the same birthday, 24 years apart.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at July 11, 2012 11:53 AM (+ciOu)

158 Speaking of Huntsman, does anybody else remember this day? http://imgur.com/fCaPB

Posted by: J-rock at July 11, 2012 12:04 PM (l+Fbn)

159 hmm... i don't know what i'm doing

Posted by: J-rock at July 11, 2012 12:05 PM (l+Fbn)

160 The public does seem to know a bit about F & F, and the 53% support for contempt indicates that the whole "play the race card" / "this is a political witchhunt" strategy used by Holder's minions has fallen flat. People have seen it too many times before.

Posted by: Reggie1971 at July 11, 2012 12:12 PM (j2rrq)

161 @123 Remember when Huntsman was the candidate the Democrats feared the most (per the media)? lol

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at July 11, 2012 12:18 PM (9eDbm)

162 Mary Katharine Ham rocks.
Posted by: Fresh at July 11, 2012 02:49 PM

Mmmmm .... hammmmm

Posted by: Homer Simpson at July 11, 2012 12:38 PM (Y+DPZ)

163 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at July 11, 2012 05:26 PM (Xb3hu)

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