January 24, 2012

Moron Poll: What would you rather watch?
— Slublog

Tonight, President Obama delivers what we all hope will be his last State of the Union address. The usual pack of bloggers and cob-loggers will live-blog the event, but until then, I have a...um...thought exercise for all of you.

Fill in the blank: "I'd rather watch __________________ than the State of the Union."

Some suggestions from the cob-loggers to get you started:

"Gators Eating Adorable Pets In Front Of The Children Who Love Them"

"a venereal chancre ripen and burst"

"Two Congressmen, One Cup"

"Real Housewives of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue"

Have at it, morons!

Posted by: Slublog at 02:57 PM | Comments (903)
Post contains 108 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Nancy Pelosi give DWS head

Posted by: wiserbud at January 24, 2012 02:58 PM (LmP4O)

2 This should be classy

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 24, 2012 02:58 PM (FIDMq)

3 Rosie O'Donnel deliver an upper decker

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 24, 2012 02:59 PM (FIDMq)

4 Someone kicking Nancy Pelosi's skinny liar ass down some stairs.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 02:59 PM (O7ksG)

5 my dog eat cat poop out of the litter box

Posted by: spypeach at January 24, 2012 02:59 PM (hyUyU)

6 I'd rather watch balls.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2012 02:59 PM (nj1bB)

7 Paint dry.

Posted by: Slublog at January 24, 2012 02:59 PM (QVyUz)

8 Two 400 pound, unwashed, hairy lesbians abuse a mangy, ill tempered camel with a 4x4 post, barbed wire, and a car battery.

Posted by: jasonj at January 24, 2012 02:59 PM (Cq0ow)

9 Rumor going around is that Mitch Daniels is going to announce a run for President during his State of the Union response.

Posted by: Capitalism at January 24, 2012 03:00 PM (2YIVk)

10 Soccer

Posted by: wiserbud at January 24, 2012 03:00 PM (LmP4O)

11 Two hours of a camera pointed at Joe Biden's naked ass.

Posted by: Slublog at January 24, 2012 03:00 PM (QVyUz)

12 Sock off.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2012 03:00 PM (2YIVk)

13 I remember when the Bushpig told us "Iraq is buying yellowcake uranium from Niger" as his SOTU lie to get us into a fucking disaster in the Middle East.

Good times!

Posted by: Clarence at January 24, 2012 03:00 PM (z0HdK)

14 DVDA. Yep, went there.

Posted by: Maloderous at January 24, 2012 03:00 PM (dsvkY)

15 11 Two hours of a camera pointed at Joe Biden's naked ass.

Posted by: Slublog at January 24, 2012 07:00 PM (QVyUz)

washing a car at 1600 Penn Ave

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 24, 2012 03:01 PM (FIDMq)

16 I would rather have fucking ball surgery with a rusty soup can lid.

top that. lol

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 03:01 PM (FMbng)

17 The Star Wars Prequels.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Camellia Sinensis Operative at January 24, 2012 03:01 PM (0q2P7)

18 I'd rather watch BHO's Twitter feed fill up with fellating tweets from slobbering socialists.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 03:01 PM (4136b)

19 A live telecast of my own colonoscopy....ugh maybe?

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:01 PM (i6RpT)

20 Go out like a rock star,choking on my own vomit.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:01 PM (7W3wI)

21 You really do need to come around more often , Slu .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2012 03:01 PM (npr0X)

22 Ellen, Rosie, and Whoopie in a girls gone wild video.

Posted by: SoL at January 24, 2012 03:02 PM (s9MGD)

23 Another Republican Debate????

Posted by: Robert at January 24, 2012 03:02 PM (8oDB8)

24 I'd rather watch ace pounding his pud like it owed him money.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2012 03:02 PM (xm1A1)

25 ....Clarence give his father head again.

Posted by: wiserbud at January 24, 2012 03:02 PM (LmP4O)

26 Mexican Midget Wrestling....... Actually, I would rather watch Mexican Midget Wresting over most things I come across on the Idiot Box.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 24, 2012 03:02 PM (jucos)

27 A pussy scab form .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2012 03:02 PM (npr0X)

28 Sheppard Smith slobber all over himself.

Tonight, President Obama delivers what we all hope will be his last State of the Union address.

Don't you think he'll do one before he bails, provided we quit being The Stupid Party?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 24, 2012 03:02 PM (FToTH)

29 Rosie and Whoopi making whoopi

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at January 24, 2012 03:02 PM (1fLwj)

30 Piss napalm and shit concertina wire.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:03 PM (7W3wI)

31 I'd rather watch (another) Republican debate.......not really

Posted by: SoL at January 24, 2012 03:03 PM (s9MGD)

32

I remember when the Bushpig told us

 

Stop living in the past, fuckstick.

Posted by: fluffy at January 24, 2012 03:03 PM (3SvjA)

33 Bill Maher, with special guest Keith Olbermann and Ed Schultz

Posted by: wiserbud at January 24, 2012 03:03 PM (LmP4O)

34 I rather watch last nights debate! Too far? Cause I thought so.

Posted by: Big T Party at January 24, 2012 03:03 PM (hC5jI)

35 Euro-porn, even with all the hairy forearms and man ass.

Posted by: wooga at January 24, 2012 03:03 PM (vjyZP)

36 Get Crabs.
Get a red hot, rusty car antenna shoved up my dick hole.
Pull 13 yards of barbed wire out of my ass.

Posted by: Portnoy at January 24, 2012 03:03 PM (1P9Wb)

37 WTF with the html controls?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 24, 2012 03:04 PM (FToTH)

38 .....anything other.....

Posted by: snowcrash at January 24, 2012 03:04 PM (w3YD7)

39 Anthony Weiner on ChatRoulette after a Viagra and iCarly bender.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2012 03:04 PM (+lsX1)

40 Heaven's Gate.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at January 24, 2012 03:04 PM (d0Tfm)

41 'Behind the scenes: The making of Lemonparty'

Posted by: esch at January 24, 2012 03:05 PM (XOBhY)

42 Michael Moore get his salad tossed by Chaz Bono after going on a Mexican and Indian food binge for three days. Sorry i just threw up on my desk.

Posted by: JUSTIN at January 24, 2012 03:05 PM (tclnS)

43 So is there gong to be a Moron Blog, or do I have to slink over to Vodka Pundit and drunk blog with him?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 24, 2012 03:05 PM (FToTH)

44 Michael Moore give himself a breast exam.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:05 PM (7W3wI)

45 I'd rather watch a Skinemax flick where Shannon Tweed gets it on with Clarence rather than the SOTU. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 24, 2012 03:05 PM (UR5vq)

46 Bill Clinton shove a mature pineapple up his ass.

Posted by: IronFox at January 24, 2012 03:05 PM (kEUZe)

47 I'd rather watch:

Paint dry (the classic no-brainer)
An hour-long DVD of Chicago Cubs fielding errors (actually exists)
Kittehs horking up hairballs
Videos of old Sheriff Joe speeches
A gastroenterologist doing a colonoscopy
Any bad sci-fi movie from the '60s

Posted by: Basement Cat at January 24, 2012 03:05 PM (1el1/)

48 A sarabande of arabs illustrating why the camel is called the ship of the desert.

Posted by: M. Murcek at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (ToZXn)

49 I'd rather watch paint dry than the State of the Union.

Posted by: Killerdog at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (CZrbJ)

50

Bill Maher, with special guest Keith Olbermann and Ed Schultz - getting eaten by a giant tarantula.


 

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (O7ksG)

51 A Cher Concert from front row seats....

Posted by: The terrorist Hobbit formerly known as Donna at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (qmF3d)

52 I'd rather watch Richard Trumpka jello wrestling with Ed Shultz

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (4136b)

53 I would rather listen to Bill O'Reilly read his "Those Who Trespass" in audiobook http://www.hark.com/collections/qjmqbrrdwp-those-who-trespass definitely worth a click...!!!

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (nj1bB)

54 Rosie O'Donnell eat rancid lunch meat off Joy Behar's nasty camel toe.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (SzAZ7)

55 38 Bill Maher, with special guest Keith Olbermann and Ed Schultz You forgot Rachel Maddow .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (npr0X)

56 41 Get Crabs.
Get a red hot, rusty car antenna shoved up my dick hole.
Pull 13 yards of barbed wire out of my ass.

Posted by: Portnoy at January 24, 2012 07:03 PM (1P9Wb)

Just wow, my eyes

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (FIDMq)

57 This is interesting.    "Starting today, you can ask President Obama the questions that are on your mind about the direction of the country and vote on others that you think should be asked. He'll answer several of your top-voted questions during a special interview, which will take place on January 30, live from the White House. A selection of people who submit questions will also be invited to join a Google+ Hangout live with the President during the interview."

The person who told me about it led me to believe that you could ask the president questions after the debate, live.  But it seems it's scheduled for a week from now.

where is ask Newt?
where is ask Mitt?
where is ask Rick?
where is ask Ron?

They are so busy getting ready for the debates, they are missing a golden opportunity.


Posted by: ambrosia at January 24, 2012 03:06 PM (oZfic)

58 American Beauty

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (5ykMU)

59 The award ceremony for whoever it was who beat the crap out of John Kerry.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (O7ksG)

60 Howard the Duck

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (jucos)

61 I'd rather watch a Skinemax flick where Shannon Tweed gets it on with The Barbed Cock of Satan.

FIFY

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (FToTH)

62
Look at Clarence's lab results.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (L3I4w)

63 Ancient Aliens

Posted by: Big T Party at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (hC5jI)

64 ...Ace shaving LauraW's hump in a kiddie pool full of Valu-Rite and pudding with Ewok fur floating on top...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (d0Tfm)

65 "A Cher Concert from front row seats...."

Is it just me, or has no one seen Cher and Lady Gaga together?

And is a remote Eastern European village missing its virgins?

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (bjRNS)

66 Ron Paul in a debate. Yeah, I went there.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (XGZYX)

67  I remember when the Bushpig told us "Iraq is buying yellowcake uranium from Niger" as his SOTU lie to get us into a fucking disaster in the Middle East

------------

Dude. That talking point was debunked 6 years ago. Where have you been?

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (xm1A1)

68 Nude close-ups of Barney's Frank.

Posted by: barkerman at January 24, 2012 03:07 PM (ntl3e)

69 Watch Newt get busy with Callista.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:08 PM (7W3wI)

70 Michelle Obama deep-throating a banana while giving me er sexy, come-hither look.

Posted by: Grimaldi at January 24, 2012 03:08 PM (ksQuw)

71 Cher's latest face lift, from the row seats. w/ jr. mints.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:08 PM (O7ksG)

72 Or:

I'd rather watch a Skinemax flick where Shannon Tweed gets it on with Will Folks.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at January 24, 2012 03:08 PM (bjRNS)

73 Ryan Secrest manscape himself

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at January 24, 2012 03:08 PM (azHfB)

74 Posted by: ambrosia at January 24, 2012 07:06 PM (oZfic)

It's on you tube and then it sends you to a WH website.  Sorry forgot the link thingy isn't working.

Posted by: ambrosia at January 24, 2012 03:08 PM (oZfic)

75 I'd rather watch a Chinese-dubbed version of one of those Twilight movies, while drilling out one of my own molars.

Posted by: wheatie...liking Perry more than ever at January 24, 2012 03:08 PM (ALwK/)

76 No.... Clay AIken manscape himself.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at January 24, 2012 03:08 PM (azHfB)

77

 Bill Maher, with special guest Keith Olbermann and Ed Schultz - getting eaten by a giant tarantula.

You could put that on PPV.

Posted by: fluffy at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (3SvjA)

78

a testicle surgery.


Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (iKmTn)

79 I'm watching old episodes of Newsradio on DVD and doing my Computer Networks homework. 
I don't give a damn about the President's State of the Union address. I think we should go back to to days when the President just sent a written version to Congress and they read it.

Posted by: Fart at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (39HkA)

80 I would rather see a re-boot of Dharma and Greg.  Wait, I take that back.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (4136b)

81 I 'd rather watch Charles and Camille go at it

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (i6RpT)

82 Zardoz.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (hO8IJ)

83 Two hours of the "Friday" song.

Posted by: Slublog at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (QVyUz)

84 Brokeback Mountain the Musical.

Posted by: huerfano at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (lXi+d)

85 clowns fuck

Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (7y80Q)

86 Watch me get cut

Posted by: M.O's landing strip at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (FIDMq)

87 DUH...ME SPOUT OLD TALKING POINTS! HURHURHUR!

Posted by: Clarence at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (z0HdK)

88 Avatar

Posted by: The Mega Independent at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (AlYnQ)

89 ...watch a Youtube vid of an infected pimple being cleaned out...

Posted by: KellyFromMesquite at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (FLFli)

90 348 Clean up on comment 262 in the skinflint thread...

Posted by: Mongoose at January 24, 2012 07:01 PM (KM86p)

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (h+qn8)

91 I'd rather watch 1,000 catheters inserted into 1,000 diseased urethras....

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at January 24, 2012 03:09 PM (azHfB)

92 The guy who played Worf,with the makeup, doing Michele doggie style.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (7W3wI)

93 Shep Smith's on FNC right now, talking about his lunch date with SCOAMF.

Is this his normal droll on his lip or was Obama glad to see him?  Or was it M'chelle?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (FToTH)

94 watch that creepy video of those little kids singing "barack hussein obama - mmm, mmm, mmm..."

Posted by: M. Murcek at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (ToZXn)

95 Clean up on comment 262 in the skinflint thread..

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (h+qn8)

96

76 Watch Newt get busy with Callista.

.

-------

.

Dammit steevy......I have worked hard to avoid ever imagining that vision.

Posted by: wheatie...liking Perry more than ever at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (ALwK/)

97 Anthony Weiner's twitter feed.

Posted by: huerfano at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (lXi+d)

98 A documentary featuring the evolution of accounting.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Camellia Sinensis Operative at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (0q2P7)

99
Read a book on the uterus.

Posted by: Andrew S., S as in Sphincter at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (L3I4w)

100 Billionaire's secretary to sit in first lady's box for State of Union address...

Pa. teacher to sit in First Lady's box during State of the UnionPa. teacher to sit in First Lady's box during State of the Union...

Also in the first lady's box tonight is Bryan Ritterby...




Just how big IS Michelle's box?

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (RzLbD)

101 Barney Frank's nipples get hard.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (niZvt)

102 Zardoz. It's over , you win .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (npr0X)

103 An eclipse sans pinhole

Posted by: The Mega Independent at January 24, 2012 03:10 PM (AlYnQ)

104 Well, I get to see kittehs horking up hairballs on a daily basis so I'm good there.  I guess I'll watch until Southland comes on or until my computer's battery shits the bed like it did last night in the middle of the debate whichever comes first.

Posted by: Jaimo at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (rv9tS)

105 I'd rather watch a NY Mets game next season, if they can field a team

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (i6RpT)

106 Catpiss feeding meow mix to all her "friends"

Posted by: buzzion at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (GULKT)

107 shep smith sayin' "jissum, massa..."

Posted by: M. Murcek at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (ToZXn)

108 Part 1: Space Aliens abduct Obama's entire cabinet of insane clown posse. Part 2:  The anal probe.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (O7ksG)

109 Chaz Bono's porn debut.

On second thought, maybe that bullet to the head doesn't sound so bad after all.

Posted by: rabidsquirrel at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (Ujyht)

110 Two Congressmen, One Camera.

Posted by: Alex at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (R69Kd)

111 Bawney donkey punchin' Harry Reid.
Or DWS getting a dirty sanchez from Chris Dodd.
Or Cindy Sheehan doin' the angry dragon for Al Sharpton.

You pick...

Posted by: bad guy at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (9Yg1a)

112 Marcus Bachman playing "tickle the tonsils" with a Corn dog at the Iowa state fair.

Posted by: SoL at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (s9MGD)

113 The Giants and the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (C2//T)

114 format go poof

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:11 PM (RzLbD)

115 Addendum to 76:With Newt's O face.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (7W3wI)

116 >>>Bill Maher, with special guest Keith Olbermann and Ed Schultz - getting eaten by a giant tarantula.

Well hell, I'd rather watchthat than pretty much anything else, including the Giants winning the Super Bowl.

Posted by: wiserbud at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (LmP4O)

117 I'd rather watch Brittany Kerr dance (strongly suggest you morons google her) than the State of the Union.

Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (Lriq9)

118 I've seen Zardoz.  Barack Obama is no Zardoz.

Posted by: Lloyd Bentsen at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (lXi+d)

119 Michele doing the guy who played Worf, with the makeup, doggie style.

FIFY

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (FToTH)

120 One of those alien babies popping out of my chest.

Posted by: Mickey Reno at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (wbfk+)

121 Me!

Posted by: Jar Jar Does Endor at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (XOBhY)

122 <i>DVDA.

Yep, went there.</i>

who wouldn't?

Posted by: A.G. at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (myTwx)

123 "Zardoz."

Speaking of. Go over to YouTube and search for "James Bond Zardoz".

It improves that movie tremendously.

(Of course, anything would.)

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (bjRNS)

124 I's rather the meteor would hurry the fuck up and get here

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (i6RpT)

125 Chaz Bono's porn debut. On second thought, maybe that bullet to the head doesn't sound so bad after all. Posted by: rabidsquirrel at January 24, 2012 07:11 PM (Ujyht) --------------------------------------------------- Does Chaz actually have a love hammer?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (jucos)

126 David Frum lecturing me why I should support Romney.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 03:12 PM (XGZYX)

127 109 "Billionaire's secretary to sit in first lady's box for State of Union address...Pa. teacher to sit in First Lady's box during State of the UnionPa. teacher to sit in First Lady's box during State of the Union...Also in the first lady's box tonight is Bryan Ritterby...Just how big IS Michelle's box?" Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 07:10 PM (RzLbD) It'll stretch a mile before tearing an inch, my friend.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:13 PM (niZvt)

128 Or some Janet Napolitano vs. Janet Reno action...

Posted by: bad guy at January 24, 2012 03:13 PM (9Yg1a)

129 19 The Star Wars Prequels. Holiday Special

FTFY

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 03:13 PM (Pf662)

130 An dramatic reading of a GE Turbine Tech-manual.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Camellia Sinensis Operative at January 24, 2012 03:13 PM (0q2P7)

131 136 Presented by Cirque De Soleil

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:13 PM (7W3wI)

132 A couple of gay seahorses playing toss the jockeys.

Posted by: ontherocks at January 24, 2012 03:13 PM (ZJCDy)

133 Goatse: The Musical

Posted by: Slublog at January 24, 2012 03:13 PM (QVyUz)

134 GodFather 3

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:13 PM (i6RpT)

135 Rosie O'Donnell interview Kathy Griffin.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (bMLFV)

136 Michelle Obama deep-throating a banana while giving me er sexy, come-hither look.

She wouldn't eat a banana unless they coated it in batter, deep fried it and smothered it in chocolate sauce.

Bananas are for the little people.

Posted by: Alex at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (R69Kd)

137 138 Or some Janet Napolitano vs. Janet Reno action...

Posted by: bad guy at January 24, 2012 07:13 PM (9Yg1a)

Get Keagan in there for a hot (gag) three some....


Posted by: Portnoy at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (1P9Wb)

138 Fill in the blank: "I'd rather watch _Basketball action than the State of the Union." UK vs Georgia go big blue let me know what the idiot has to say, strike that who cares what the child president has to say it will be tax and spend.

Posted by: swamper at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (D6Aty)

139 Shep fretting that all 4 remaining GOP candidates are millionaires. I'll bet Shep makes the list too, the anus.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (niZvt)

140 Rachel Maddow fucking Keith Olberman with a Dick Cheney war cock strap-on

Posted by: twiceblessedmom at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (CGuMF)

141 I'd rather have my eyes sutured shut with spider wire and a rusty hook by Roland Martin.  Not the fisherman Roland Martin, the guy on CNN.

Posted by: huerfano at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (lXi+d)

142 An R Bud Dwyer press conference.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (7W3wI)

143 Jersey Shore.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at January 24, 2012 03:14 PM (bMLFV)

144 Zell Miller's speech at the 2004 Republican convention.

Posted by: President Chet Roosevelt at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (caupe)

145 Steve-O's papercut bit from the first Jackass movie.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (je9Ke)

146 I would rather watch the eruption of Vesuvius with my dick pinned to a rock with a roman gladius.


Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (FMbng)

147 DVDA

Posted by: bernverdnardo at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (xXhWA)

148 Newt and Mitt do a double Dutch rudder

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (SzAZ7)

149 I'd rather watch a NY Mets game next season, if they can field a team Posted by: nevergiveup Bite me. Posted by: Mets fan since 1968 at January 24, 2012 07:14 PM (c9Ivb) Well ya know you are always welcome to come over to the Dark Side here in the Bronx: Hip Hip Jorhe

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (i6RpT)

150 Michelle's flabby upper arms manhandling me

Posted by: Barack Obama at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (xCyEK)

151 Ishtar

Posted by: Andy at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (XG+Mn)

152 HURHURHUR I JUST SHIT MYSELF.

Posted by: Clarence at January 24, 2012 03:15 PM (z0HdK)

153 I'd rather watch A Serbian Film than the SOTU...

Actually, that is a bit much.  *Google A Serbian Film if you want to know how horrible that film is - everybody involved in its production should be sterilized to prevent their depravity from reaching the next generation*. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 24, 2012 03:16 PM (UR5vq)

154 Dick Morris sucking toes in an occupy wall street protest.

Posted by: No Sniveling at January 24, 2012 03:16 PM (5Wy9V)

155 Ishtar Posted by: Andy at January 24, 2012 07:15 PM (XG+Mn) Well that might be going a tad far

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:16 PM (i6RpT)

156 Barbra Streisand and the "ladies" from The View in a daisy chain.

Posted by: Mongoose at January 24, 2012 03:16 PM (KM86p)

157 146 Rosie O'Donnell interview Kathy Griffin

Naked.

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 03:16 PM (Pf662)

158
Make an extra billion.

Posted by: George Soros at January 24, 2012 03:16 PM (L3I4w)

159 I'd rather watch the Wizards of Waverly Place marathon than the SCoaMF-SotU.

Posted by: Demosthenes at January 24, 2012 03:16 PM (NMHOD)

160 Newt manhandling Juan Williams and John King

Posted by: Mitt Romney at January 24, 2012 03:16 PM (xCyEK)

161 Two Congressmen, One Cup?  Staring Boehner and Cantor I'm sure.  Ugh, I will forever regret having seen that video, my gosh. 

Posted by: Andrew at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (HS3dy)

162 .....a Michael Moore movie.

Posted by: wheatie...liking Perry more than ever at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (ALwK/)

163 William Shatner singing
Mr. Tambourine Man!!

Posted by: FORGER - Monster Hunter at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (HYbYx)

164 I'd rather watch lesbian pornography.
(Am I doing it right?)

Posted by: fb at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (/cFW6)

165 Ugly Jr. High school girls wrestle for popularity in pudding.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (O7ksG)

166 Eat, Pray, Love.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (niZvt)

167 A goat beheading (or butt_fucking, whatever) a Muslim Terr'st.

Posted by: Sharkman at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (RtpCp)

168 Barack and Reggie

Posted by: Michelle Obama at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (xCyEK)

169 Clarence eating lightning in his treehouse.

Posted by: ontherocks at January 24, 2012 03:17 PM (ZJCDy)

170 I'd rather be watching Helen Thomas doing a naked pole dance.

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (MOOhP)

171 I'd rather watch lesbian pornography. (Am I doing it right?) Posted by: fb at January 24, 2012 07:17 PM (/cFW6) I think your in the wrong thread

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (i6RpT)

172 Every  time Clarence posts on this site Satan's barbed cock stands at attention in anticipation for his just reward.

Posted by: Beelzebub at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (JhfpG)

173 I'd rather watch myself 69 Della Reese on Main Street.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (WsOiK)

174 I'd rather watch a 2 hour documentary about the sustainability of Andy Dick's career narrated by Anne Leonard (story of stuff lady).

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (4136b)

175 Dave in Texas explaining the how he approaches the logic of his NFL picks ......or his explanation of the G-Spot .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (npr0X)

176 Mitt Romney hunting varmits video

Posted by: Andrew at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (HS3dy)

177 Gerardo's "Rico Suave" video over and over and over again.

Posted by: ErikW at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (98qlF)

178 170 146 Rosie O'Donnell interview Kathy Griffin Naked. ------------------------------------------------- On Ice?

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (SzAZ7)

179 I'd rather watch Helen Thomas and Janet Reno share a double-dong.

Posted by: meekrob at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (/0HuL)

180 Helen thomas giving the elephant man a rusty trombone

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (FMbng)

181 I'd rather listen to Justin Bieber.

Posted by: M80B at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (d6QMz)

182 I'd rather be getting tankwhored and grenade-spammed on BF3 (and will be).

Posted by: bernverdnardo at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (xXhWA)

183 I WILL be watching the bottom of my glass. I feel like getting trashed, so my drink word will be Barky's favorite word, "I". I'll go ahead an put 911 in my phone, so I just have to hit SEND.

Posted by: Beefy Meatball at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (E7yM+)

184 Another report on how much money the Repub candidates have.. And are keeping away from the poor.

Posted by: SoL at January 24, 2012 03:18 PM (s9MGD)

185 I can't watch it. I have hemroids to tend to.

Posted by: marie at January 24, 2012 03:19 PM (YlbvX)

186 Hannity. (OK, that's drastic)

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:19 PM (niZvt)

187 Warren Buffet and his secretary release their taxes... and then get eaten by a giant tarantula.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:19 PM (O7ksG)

188 one drunk man trying to find the last beer.

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 03:19 PM (h+qn8)

189
Add another liver spot to my collection.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 24, 2012 03:19 PM (L3I4w)

190 "America's Funniest Gag John King Videos"

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:20 PM (7utQ2)

191 Newt Gingrich eating a corn dog.

Posted by: pep at January 24, 2012 03:20 PM (6TB1Z)

192 The exhumation of Ted Kennedy's gristle-encased head

Posted by: Basement Cat at January 24, 2012 03:20 PM (1el1/)

193 192 170 146
Rosie O'Donnell interview Kathy Griffin

Naked.
-------------------------------------------------

On Ice?

Boing-oing-oing-oing-oing-oing!

Posted by: Clarence at January 24, 2012 03:20 PM (Pf662)

194  sequel r perhaps the bathroom.

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 03:20 PM (h+qn8)

195 The Pilot Episode of Naked Gardening with Michelle Obama's Landing Strip.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:20 PM (QGNxr)

196 I'm just gonna sit here an refresh this thread for the next 2 hours. F'n hilarious.

Posted by: bad guy at January 24, 2012 03:20 PM (9Yg1a)

197 The next GOP debate. BAM.

Posted by: GergS at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (dptRY)

198

I'd rather watch a Nancy Pelosi kabuki bukkake fest in 3-D at 1080 HD.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at January 24, 2012 07:00 PM (phlKA)

 

Fixed.

Posted by: Ron Jeremy at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (RtpCp)

199 Cons debating cut taxes, regulations are bad, God is good, etc...

Posted by: Hillbilly Doorbell at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (ozOHm)

200 "I'd rather watch Nancy Pilosi and Hillary Clinton on stage, singing "Like a Virgin", dressed in low cut corsets, leather thongs, fishnet stockings, and kissing at the end of the song than the State of the Union."

Posted by: cathymv at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (kT7BI)

201 Ahmadinejad French-kissing Richard Gere and Ayatollah Khamenei.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (UR5vq)

202 a kardashian sisters debate

Posted by: TomH at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (q1Ebc)

203 193 Contender for grossest imagery ever.

Posted by: fb at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (/cFW6)

204 "Justified" starring Bill Maher.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (7utQ2)

205 O/T Excerpts from Gov. Daniels' SOTU rebuttal
http://tinyurl.com/7xjhvph

Posted by: M80B at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (d6QMz)

206 my colonscopy

Posted by: Mystery Meat at January 24, 2012 03:21 PM (kyzl0)

207 A remake of the "Human Centapede" with Barney Frank, Andy Sullivan, Bill and Hillary Clinton, with John F'n Kerry as the head.

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 03:22 PM (MOOhP)

208 I'd rather watch the photo session for Goatse 2012: the Barney Frank edition.

Posted by: meekrob at January 24, 2012 03:22 PM (/0HuL)

209 A very special ace home movie

Making Pancakes in Three Easy Steps.

Posted by: Methos at January 24, 2012 03:22 PM (6LvlL)

210 A leper shitting rusty double edged razor blades

Posted by: M. Murcek at January 24, 2012 03:22 PM (ToZXn)

211 I'd rather watch that episode of Glee where Kathy Griffin plays Sarah Palin... while shaving my ballsack with a Waring blender.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at January 24, 2012 03:22 PM (azHfB)

212 Helen Thomas getting a Brazilian wax.

Posted by: dananjcon at January 24, 2012 03:22 PM (OXi3E)

213 I'd rather watch Mitt coif his 'do than the State of the Union. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 24, 2012 03:22 PM (5H6zj)

214 Anthony Weiner, the Movie

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:22 PM (WsOiK)

215 Raykon babbling top himself.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 24, 2012 03:23 PM (L3I4w)

216 A George Clooney-Matt Damon movie about US troops directed by Brian DePalma.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:23 PM (7W3wI)

217 Two dogs humping each other in the yard.

Posted by: Hillbilly Doorbell at January 24, 2012 03:23 PM (ozOHm)

218 Kim and khloe take new york

Posted by: phoenixgirl at January 24, 2012 03:23 PM (2mOHT)

219 I'd rather have my balls connected to a Joe Hunt Magneto.

Posted by: franksalterego at January 24, 2012 03:23 PM (9XykO)

220 Michael Moore giving Bawney Fwank a blumpkin.

Posted by: SoL at January 24, 2012 03:23 PM (s9MGD)

221 I'd rather be watching season 15 of the ultimate fighter, but for some reason they won't show that until March. fuckers.

Posted by: joeindc44 - tebow's new lifting coach at January 24, 2012 03:23 PM (QxSug)

222 "Bridgette Jones"

Posted by: frankly at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (+QC41)

223 Katie Couric smearing her pap.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (niZvt)

224 I'd rather watch Clarence cry realizing that this'll be the last SOTU delivered by his savior, the obamessiah. 

Posted by: Theresa is nucking futz at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (xmOY4)

225 Has anyone mentioned oral surgery yet?

Posted by: Y-not at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (5H6zj)

226 Ron Jeremy get his back waxed.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (7W3wI)

227 An Inconvenient Truth

Posted by: sparks at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (klAgA)

228 I'd rather watch Clarence and Gerg in a spatchcocking instructional video.

Clarence, get your toys back on the carpet!

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (4136b)

229 "The Notebook"

Posted by: Cyn at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (8+KS1)

230 Dad using the garden hose on two dogs humping in the yard

Posted by: M. Murcek at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (ToZXn)

231 I'd rather watch "Ishtar"

Posted by: el mao at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (RZ5o3)

232 John King, CNN: "You make your case there passionately for President Obama. But also understand that this is a tough reelection climate for any president, Democrat or Republican in this economy. Because of your history with Speaker Gingrich, what goes through your mind when you think of the possibility, which is more real today than it was a week or a month ago, that he would be the Republican nominee and that you could come back here next January or next February with a President Gingrich?" Rep. Nancy Pelosi: "Let me just say this. That will never happen." King: "Why?" Pelosi: "He's not going to be President of the United States. That's not going to happen. Let me just make my prediction and stand by it, it isn't going to happen." King: "Why are you so sure?" Pelosi: "There is something I know. The Republicans, if they choose to nominate him that's their prerogative. I don't even think that's going to happen." What a cunt. Sorry for my language but it just fit

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:24 PM (i6RpT)

233 Eat, Pray, Love.

Dude.  Man-card.  Now.

There are limits, you know.

Posted by: Alex at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (R69Kd)

234 The Day After Tomorrow

Posted by: sparks at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (klAgA)

235 A high speed train derailment because after 1000 days, the proprietors couldn't create a business plan, budget, or a f*cking menu.

Posted by: Fritz at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (3raPN)

236 I was just thinking that I would rather have IT beamed in HD directly into my brain than watch the SCOAMT give the SOTU.

Posted by: alexthechick at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (Gk3SS)

237 Rosie O'Donnell kickstart the v-twin on her vibrator and make her Rosie O'Face.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (RzLbD)

238 I'd rather watch someone roll my truck into the lake with my dog inside.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (WsOiK)

239 Kieth Olbermann tea bag Andrew Sullivan.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (SzAZ7)

240 I'd rather watch Clarence, Erg, and Palin Steele do a bukkake video with Madeline Albright.

Posted by: meekrob at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (/0HuL)

241 250th?

Posted by: Truman North at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (I2LwF)

242 "Gators Eating Adorable Pets In Front Of The Children Who Love Them"

Tease.

Posted by: John King at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (Qxdfp)

243 FLOTUS trimming her nose hair.

Posted by: dananjcon at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (OXi3E)

244 The final episode of Larry Craig against Joe Biden in "Widest Stance"

Posted by: Kaisersoze at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (NDZar)

245 Bill Maher get his balls waxed

Posted by: IronFox at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (kEUZe)

246 I'd rather watch paint dry?  Because that's really an option for me.

Posted by: NC Ref at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (23xg+)

247 Leftwingers worshipping history's worst tyrants, stroking themsleves while they dream of communsim, and sucking the dick of a big daddy government. Oh oh oh regulations and taxes fuck me!

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (O7ksG)

248 Man I am good lookin and I can talk the language of my people.

Posted by: Raylan at January 24, 2012 03:25 PM (ozOHm)

249 I'd rather watch a Twilight marathon.

Posted by: M80B at January 24, 2012 03:26 PM (d6QMz)

250 Star Trek 5 and Highlander: The Source

At the same time.

Posted by: Methos at January 24, 2012 03:26 PM (6LvlL)

251 Titanic.  Same same, but I wouldn't have to listen to him.

Posted by: dj at January 24, 2012 03:26 PM (K1pTP)

252 Madonna sign at the super bowl half time

Posted by: phoenixgirl at January 24, 2012 03:26 PM (2mOHT)

253 An HD video of my own castration.

Posted by: Steve O at January 24, 2012 03:26 PM (Orxpy)

254 I'd rather book a cruise on one of the budget rooms at the bottom of the boat on the Costa Concordia

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:26 PM (i6RpT)

255 Vogon Poetry Slam

Posted by: huerfano at January 24, 2012 03:26 PM (lXi+d)

256 Sing even

Posted by: phoenixgirl at January 24, 2012 03:26 PM (2mOHT)

257 "I'd rather watch the State of the Union on fire than the State of the Union."

Posted by: s☺mej☼e at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (oif6Y)

258 "I'd rather watch Al Gore kissing...well...anyone..... than the State of the Union."

Posted by: cathymv at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (kT7BI)

259 Any of the girls from Firefly doing literally anything other than watching the SOTU. 

Posted by: Aaron at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (Tlix5)

260 Manos: The Hands of Fate without the MST3K commentary...IN HD!

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (Pf662)

261 Rather watch Steven Tyler get his moobs waxed.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (WsOiK)

262 Gigli

Posted by: buzzion at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (GULKT)

263 @ 252 I'd rather watch someone roll my truck into the lake with my dog inside.


Damn, hurt myself laughing on that one. LMAO

Posted by: Mongoose at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (KM86p)

264 ""I'd rather watch Clarence, Erg, and Palin Steele do a bukkake video with Madeline Albright.""


Albright has a dick?

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (FMbng)

265 A film festival of  Millennium, Johnny Mnemonic, SW Ep1-3 finished off by Battlefield Earth.

Sitting on a fire ant mound.

Naked.

Posted by: esch at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (XOBhY)

266 My house burn down.

Posted by: dananjcon at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (OXi3E)

267

Another fictitious "female orgasm" how-to.

 

Like I'd care if it even did exist...

Posted by: spongeworthy at January 24, 2012 03:27 PM (puy4B)

268 268 I'd rather book a cruise on one of the budget rooms at the bottom of the boat on the Costa Concordia

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 07:26 PM (i6RpT)



Stay long enough, you just may have a room with a view!

Posted by: Costa Marketing Pro at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (23xg+)

269 Christina Roehmer as the next Cat Woman.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (4136b)

270 A replay of Superbowl XLII

Posted by: sparks at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (klAgA)

271 i'd rather watch a racoon fuck rakon than the State of the Union.

Posted by: Racefan at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (UkCvJ)

272 Miss Sheppie Smith in a g-string and FM shoes.

Posted by: CMU VET at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (ARTjI)

273

238 Has anyone mentioned oral surgery yet?
--------

.

Sorta.....I mentioned drilling out one of my own molars...not really surgery tho.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (ALwK/)

274 I'd rather watch "Ishtar"

Posted by: el mao at January 24, 2012 07:24 PM (RZ5o3)




Dubbed in Austrian!

Posted by: really ... at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (X3lox)

275 The hentai version of The Vagina Monologues

Posted by: Methos at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (6LvlL)

276 Simon and Simon, Season 2

Posted by: (Original, Famous) My Sharia Moor at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (KZi9D)

277 THE VIEW...

Posted by: Pops at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (1kwr2)

278 Flo the Progresive Insurance Girl sit on the Geico Lizard.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:28 PM (niZvt)

279 @278

That's a surprise to you?

Posted by: meekrob at January 24, 2012 03:29 PM (/0HuL)

280 I'd rather watch Algore's third chakra release

Posted by: runninrebel at January 24, 2012 03:29 PM (RTFZc)

281 An episode of Glee with special guest star Meggy McCain.

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 03:29 PM (MOOhP)

282 ""Vogon Poetry Slam""



"Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 03:29 PM (FMbng)

283 Chaz Bono release it's 2nd Chakra

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:29 PM (WsOiK)

284

Kratos, I heard about A Serbian Film and read the synopsis of the movie on Wikipedia (yeah, I know).  Unbelievable depravity.  I can't even imagine sitting through it.

Though I probably would sit through Human Centipede, Full Sequence before listening to Obama tonight.

Posted by: Sharkman at January 24, 2012 03:29 PM (RtpCp)

285 The hentai version of The Vagina Monologues


I'm reasonably certain red tube has that. 

Posted by: alexthechick at January 24, 2012 03:29 PM (Gk3SS)

286 I'd rather watch Beaches with Speaker Boehner.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:30 PM (QGNxr)

287
Two 400 pound, unwashed, hairy lesbians abuse a mangy, ill tempered camel with a 4x4 post, barbed wire, and a car battery.

Posted by: jasonj at January 24, 2012 06:59 PM (Cq0ow)







Ill tempered camel? Dood, that's getting a bit close for comfort.......

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2012 03:30 PM (XCHGh)

288 I'd rather watch Stephen Hawking and Ron Paul talking dirty to Kim Kardashian.

Posted by: Mongoose at January 24, 2012 03:30 PM (KM86p)

289 Nancy Pelosi and Gloria Alred in a post-apocalypse nude cage match fighting for the last package of Botox.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2012 03:30 PM (xm1A1)

290 Bass solo

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 24, 2012 03:30 PM (FToTH)

291 I would rather get another colonoscopy and live off of the white goop IV for a week.

Posted by: Vic at January 24, 2012 03:30 PM (YdQQY)

292 I'd rather watch a 24 hr marathon of the Star Wars prequels. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 24, 2012 03:30 PM (UR5vq)

293 I'd rather listen to Steve Tyler and Rosanne Barr tag team the national anthem.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:30 PM (niZvt)

294 Kittens fired from a cannon into Kathy Griffin's cooch...in HD.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (SzAZ7)

295
Furiously scanning emetophiles on Craigslist for some company during  Barky's speech.

Might settle for klismaphiliacs.

Posted by: sickinmass at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (bcNec)

296 Id rather watch really dumb hillbillies trying to plz their mama.

Posted by: Raylan at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (ozOHm)

297 A one hour speech by Chelsea Clinton.

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (MOOhP)

298

269 Vogon Poetry Slam
-------

That's pretty bad. .....Probably would result in a catatonic fit.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (ALwK/)

299

Just keep thinking, "his last one," and you'll get through it.

Posted by: Deafdog at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (YUwuZ)

300 >>>>>"Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"

I just had to gnaw my own foot off to survive reading that.

Hope you're happy.

Posted by: Slublog at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (QVyUz)

301 Watch Soros shove euros up Weiners ass while Frank pulls them and uses them to wipe the dripping spunk from his Fannie friends nose.

Posted by: wsms at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (5kgoA)

302 Ron Paul reading excerpts from his newsletters.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (xm1A1)

303 I'd rather watch the Final Encore of a Litlith Fair Show.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (QGNxr)

304 Obama give to charity. Oh wait, that won't cover enough time.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (O7ksG)

305 I'd rather read one of Ace's movie reviews.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (niZvt)

306 I'd rather watch the carefully-chosen smuggest 90 minutes from the OWS live feed.

Posted by: Splunge at January 24, 2012 03:31 PM (2IW5Q)

307 I'd rather watch Barney Frank's milkshake bring all the boys to the yard.

Posted by: Mongoose at January 24, 2012 03:32 PM (KM86p)

308 My own entrails being slowly drawn out on a spiked rotisserie and eaten by a Bloodthirster of Khorne.

Posted by: Iblis at January 24, 2012 03:32 PM (9221z)

309 I'd rather read one of Ace's movie reviews.


winner winner chicken dinner

Posted by: alexthechick at January 24, 2012 03:32 PM (Gk3SS)

310

The 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special.

With the late Bea Arthur and Harvey Korman at their career low points.

Posted by: Book Geek at January 24, 2012 03:32 PM (ny/5i)

311 my vasectomy

Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 24, 2012 03:32 PM (PjVdx)

312 I'd rather watch an all-nude edition of The View with special guest Michelle Obama.

In 3-D!

Posted by: meekrob at January 24, 2012 03:32 PM (/0HuL)

313 North Korean reactions to the death of Kim Jong-Il

Posted by: sparks at January 24, 2012 03:32 PM (klAgA)

314 I'd rather watch the Indigo Girls shave their armpits onto my toothbrush.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:32 PM (WsOiK)

315 Helen Thomas giving Michael Moore a rusty trombone.

On ice.

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (Pf662)

316 The Yoko Ono Network.


Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (7utQ2)

317 Id rather watch another stupid debate about cutting taxes, increasing defense, putting more God into our lives.

Posted by: Boyd at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (ozOHm)

318 Helen Thomas starring in Tubgirl II:  The Metamucil Years

Posted by: Jaws at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (A3yiq)

319 I'd rather watch Chaz Bono ride the Sybian.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (niZvt)

320 Kratos, I heard about A Serbian Film and read the synopsis of the movie on Wikipedia (yeah, I know). Unbelievable depravity. I can't even imagine sitting through it.
Though I probably would sit through Human Centipede, Full Sequence before listening to Obama tonight.

Phelous over on blip (or that guywiththeglasses . com) did the dirty work on those if you want to know, but don't want to sit through the whole things.

The hentai version of The Vagina Monologues


I'm reasonably certain red tube has that.

Eek. Curiosity. Cat. Some assembly required.

Posted by: Methos at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (6LvlL)

321 give myself an appendectomy with a spork

Posted by: krukke1 at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (t/QMA)

322 Bill doing Hill doggy style?

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (xm1A1)

323 Matt Damon

Posted by: Cyn at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (8+KS1)

324 I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumb-tacks Or stick my nostrils together with Crazy Glue. I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades Than send one more minute listening to that SCOAMF *with apologies to Weird Al Yankovic*

Posted by: Nighthawk at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (zy1+r)

325

...Islamists take over Egypt.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (QGNxr)

326 Bum Fights

Posted by: sparks at January 24, 2012 03:33 PM (klAgA)

327 My dog being tossed into a wood chipper

Posted by: dananjcon at January 24, 2012 03:34 PM (OXi3E)

328 I can tell the "on ice" thing is going to have legs here at the HQ.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:34 PM (7utQ2)

329

My own John Wayne Bobbiting......

Posted by: Crowsting,who knows that Obama=SCOAMF at January 24, 2012 03:34 PM (61BD9)

330 The English Patient

Posted by: Jypsea Rose~AoSHQ Graveyard Shift at January 24, 2012 03:34 PM (digkk)

331 "Anal Wart Part I: The Lickening" starring Kieth Olbermann

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 03:34 PM (SzAZ7)

332 Reruns of "Friends"

Posted by: bernverdnardo at January 24, 2012 03:34 PM (xXhWA)

333 wait?

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:34 PM (QGNxr)

334 I'd rather watch the national pastime than the State of the Union.

Posted by: Penfold at January 24, 2012 03:34 PM (1PeEC)

335 "venereal chancre"

Somebody has been studying his big boy word book!!

Posted by: prettypinkfluffypanties at January 24, 2012 03:35 PM (UdAZG)

336 Helen thomas in a  remake of Caligula.

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 03:35 PM (FMbng)

337 Project Greenlight Season: 1

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:35 PM (QGNxr)

338 Oldies sweatin' to the oldies.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:35 PM (RzLbD)

339
Clean up a Wal-Mart parking lot.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 24, 2012 03:35 PM (L3I4w)

340 Gay porn, the cheap nasty stuff.

Posted by: Iblis at January 24, 2012 03:35 PM (9221z)

341 Helen Thomas starring in Tubgirl II: The Metamucil Years

Damn.

Posted by: Methos at January 24, 2012 03:35 PM (6LvlL)

342 I'd rather watch Megaupload founder Kim Dotcom play naked twister with Paula Deen covered in Crisco.  Right leg, broken!

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 03:35 PM (4136b)

343 Celebrity Jeopardy: Joe Biden vs Megan McCain vs Rick Perry

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2012 03:36 PM (+lsX1)

344 HRC picking away at a developing yeast infection.

Posted by: David Duke at January 24, 2012 03:36 PM (ScD5a)

345 I'd rather watch my son walk down the aisle with Shep Smith.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:36 PM (WsOiK)

346 Rumor going around is that Mitch Daniels is going to announce a run for President during his State of the Union response. Posted by: Capitalism at January 24, 2012 07:00 PM (2YIVk) Not going to happen. He told local news it was just a rumor and un true. Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at January 24, 2012 07:34 PM (qjUnn) Actually Chris Christie is gonna run, well ok saunter in, and body check him off the stage and announce he is running for President and deliver the speech

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:36 PM (i6RpT)

347 Chris Dodd and that Fat Dead Kennedy bang a tranny waitress.

Posted by: f2000 at January 24, 2012 03:36 PM (FcMtg)

348 Opie & Anthony's baby bird bit.  It involves competitive eating, massive quantities of eggnog, and a large, diabetic man vomiting said eggnog into another man's mouth.  Two Girls, One Cup minus the tittillation.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (je9Ke)

349 ..Islamists take over Egypt.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 07:33 PM (QGNxr)


Er, about that...

Posted by: Spring, 2011 at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (6LvlL)

350 or your vasectomy.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (PjVdx)

351 i'd rather watch Michelle kick Jugears ass.

Posted by: Racefan at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (UkCvJ)

352 I am going to need so much brain bleach after reading this thread.

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (5ykMU)

353 Mod Squad

Posted by: sparks at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (klAgA)

354 Having a dream of getting a BJ, waking up, looking down and seeing Bawney Fwank.

Posted by: Ducatisti at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (KYE7u)

355 I was in a comma for 3 months a couple years ago due to an auto accident.  Being in a comma is WAY more interesting then comrade Hussein Obama.  I am debating going back into one.  At least till 11:30 pm

Posted by: hous bin fartine at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (mwEw5)

356 i'd rather watch Michelle kick Jugears ass. Posted by: Racefan at January 24, 2012 07:37 PM (UkCvJ) Happens every night, no biggie

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (i6RpT)

357 Celebrity Jeopardy: Joe Biden vs Megan McCain vs Rick Perry

I'd put Cain in for Perry, but it still made me laugh.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (7utQ2)

358 I'd rather watch a Puss Sucker at work.

Posted by: Talking Salamander at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (qZb8X)

359 Chaz Bono and Michael Moore engaged in heavy petting ..........on ice..........while holding longbows

Posted by: SoL at January 24, 2012 03:37 PM (s9MGD)

360 Julian Assange's talk show

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 03:38 PM (Pf662)

361 Helen Thomas starring in Tubgirl II: The Metamucil Years

That is so wrong and there is not enough brain bleach to kill that image. I tip my hat to you.

Posted by: Penfold at January 24, 2012 03:38 PM (1PeEC)

362 The out-takes from the old Nancy and Newt getting lovey on the couch while talking about confronting global warming video.  UGH . Now those could have been nasty.

Posted by: builderD at January 24, 2012 03:38 PM (JkooC)

363 ted kennedy modeling a thong for barney frank with his harpoon scared belly.

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 03:38 PM (FMbng)

364 I'd rather watch the State of the Union Address than the State of the Union Address.

Posted by: USS Diversity at January 24, 2012 03:38 PM (PddVe)

365 Geriatrics Gone Wild

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:38 PM (RzLbD)

366 I'd rather watch a blue screen of death than the State of the Union.

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:38 PM (vewos)

367 Allahpundit in a 3-way with Ed Morrissey and Rick Moran.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2012 03:38 PM (xm1A1)

368 I'd rather watch Janet Napolitano locked in a sixty-nine with Elena Kagan.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (QGNxr)

369 Newt massaging his man-tits

Posted by: Talking Salamander at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (qZb8X)

370 Stephen Hawking giving a dramatic reading of Mitt Romney's tax returns.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (7W3wI)

371 so what exactly is nancy cackling about now? she knows something about newt that will prevent him from getting elected? Why in the world would she say this? If she does she should not say so until later and she should certainly not leak it publicly, especially if she gained the knowledge through in her official capacity. I am starting to wonder if she really has some sort of disability.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (loM0R)

372

Posted by: hous bin fartine

Welcome back, Sir (Madam?)

Posted by: fluffy at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (3SvjA)

373 I have a theory that if a rumor goes around enough, hard enough, it becomes true due to the sheer gravitational force of all the wishful thinking.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (2YIVk)

374 Chaz Bono and Michael Moore engaged in heavy petting ..........on ice..........while holding longbows

Posted by: SoL at January 24, 2012 07:37 PM (s9MGD)


We can stop.  Thread winner in perpetuity.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (7utQ2)

375 I'd rather watch Andrea Dworkin try to fit three orders of french fries into her mouth all at once.

Posted by: Splunge at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (2IW5Q)

376 Id rather watch myself get a cystoscopy

Posted by: BlackOrchidHeartlessAgain at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (SB0V2)

377 Well, I'm in Sioux City, Iowa, where it's 29 degrees and raining out.  Think I will go to the window on the top floor and yell at the people getting out of their crashed cars, "Hey, be careful, it's icy out! " 

Yea, I know, it didn't quite follow the theme, but I had to contribute. 

Posted by: prettypinkfluffypanties at January 24, 2012 03:39 PM (UdAZG)

378 I'd rather watch Sonny Bono playing football while skiing an obstacle course.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (niZvt)

379

I'd rather watch some porn and jerk off. 

Hey, it's my birthday!

Posted by: Ernest Borgnine at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (QGNxr)

380 Roseanne Barr, Chaz Bono, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Obama, Helen Thomas, Janet Reno, and Bill Maher playing strip poker.

Posted by: Michael at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (y/w7+)

381 The TSA find a sackful of Krugerrands in Ron Paul's secret stash.

Posted by: Fritz at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (3raPN)

382 Russel Brand's standup routine

Posted by: buzzion at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (GULKT)

383 381 I'd rather watch the State of the Union Address than the State of the Union Address.   Posted by: USS Diversity at January 24, 2012 07:38 PM (PddVe        OK thats the end of this thread.

Posted by: bernverdnardo at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (xXhWA)

384 I had some great ones but they have all been taken and exceeded. Congrats Morons.  I really do "dislike" Barry and Moochelle. I'd be more explicit but I don't want Suburbans in my driveway. I relish the thought of these two having to sit and watch a conservative sworn in on 20 Jan and their gravy train ends. I want Moochelle to beat Barry's ass for being such a loser.

BTW: does the Secret Service drive Government Motors Volts?

Posted by: Barry S at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (nLpaT)

385 oh yeah, nancy and her michelle snowballing barney frank.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (loM0R)

386 I'd rather watch 1guy1cup Google that shit if you dare.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 03:40 PM (sb3kT)

387 I'd rather watch secret footage of Obama in Man's Country.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:41 PM (WsOiK)

388 Debbie Wasaman Schultz home movies of her learning how to French kiss her bulldog.

Posted by: Gmland at January 24, 2012 03:41 PM (CgSDu)

389 Hey watch this!

Posted by: Sonny Bono at January 24, 2012 03:41 PM (23xg+)

390

"I'd rather watch ___rock melting in the lunar shadows ...from earth___ than the SOTU"

...way more interesting ...way less vapid ...an order of magnitude more informative.

And just as relevant.

Posted by: davisbr at January 24, 2012 03:41 PM (640ne)

391 Trying to figure out what Nancy Pelosi knows about Newt Gingrich that she's holding over his head:  "Pelosi On A Gingrich Presidency: "That Will Never Happen" (from Real Clear Politics and bolded in red on drudge)


Posted by: ambrosia at January 24, 2012 03:41 PM (oZfic)

392 I'd rather watch 1guy1screwdriver Now please I am begging you DON'T google that one.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 03:41 PM (sb3kT)

393 Halfway through the thread.....


must.....get....puke......bucket......

Posted by: prettypinkfluffypanties at January 24, 2012 03:41 PM (UdAZG)

394 3 Rosie O'Donnel deliver an upper decker

Dayum, as part of the moron horde here, and knowing how twisted my brethren at AoSHQ are (and I mean that lovingly).....I'm afraid to even ask what this means.

Posted by: Lady in Black.....{sigh} at January 24, 2012 03:42 PM (F+Xfj)

395 Weekend at Bernies 2.

Posted by: Warden at January 24, 2012 03:42 PM (6AeQC)

396 Debbie Wasaman Schultz home movies of her learning how to French kiss her bulldog. Posted by: Gmland at January 24, 2012 07:41 PM (CgSDu) you know there are laws against animal cruelty.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:42 PM (loM0R)

397 I'd rather watch Lawrence Taylor tackle Joe Theisman. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 24, 2012 03:42 PM (5H6zj)

398 One guy one jar. :O

Posted by: Lemmenkainen at January 24, 2012 03:42 PM (Iw4dM)

399 nancy and debbie sumo wrestling.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:42 PM (loM0R)

400 Barney Frank and Al Franken in a fart lighting contest.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 03:42 PM (7W3wI)

401 George Michael speed dating in a Central Park Men's Room.

Posted by: ontherocks at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (ZJCDy)

402 I have a theory that if a rumor goes around enough, hard enough, it becomes true due to the sheer gravitational force of all the wishful thinking.

Goodie. That means I'm going to work.

Posted by: Every stupid idea in a libtard's head-which is freaking all of them at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (6LvlL)

403 American Idol with the Old Lady

Posted by: Unruly Human at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (rIP0z)

404 my genitals being raked across a cheese grater.

Posted by: California Red at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (DXTKe)

405
155 Jersey Shore. Posted by: katya, the designated driver at January 24, 2012 07:14 PM


Ugh. You're way outa my league.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (RzLbD)

406 I got nothin'. This is so fucking awesome.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (cujSl)

407 Pelosi getting donkey punched.

Posted by: John Holmes at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (Xwgt3)

408 Apple Inc. (AAPL) reported quarterly profit that more than doubled as holiday purchases of the iPhone catapulted sales to a record and helped the company steer clear of the consumer-spending slump that has hurt rival companies. Fiscal first-quarter profit surged to $13.1 billion, or $13.87 a share, Apple said today in a statement. Sales rose 73 percent to $46.3 billion. Analysts surveyed by Bloomberg on average estimated profit of $10.14 a share on sales of $39 billion. Per-share profit for the quarter was more than the company earned in any fiscal year before 2010. Apple sold 37 million iPhones, up from the previous record of 20.34 million. Customers snapped up the 4S model that went on sale in October, a week after the death of co-founder Steve Jobs. The results mark the first time the company’s quarterly revenue topped Hewlett-Packard Co. (HPQ)’s, underscoring how its focus on sleek touch-screen mobile devices has reshuffled leadership in the industry. “Those numbers are just unimaginable,” said Michael Obuchowski, chief investment officer at First Empire Asset Management, which has $4 billion under management, including Apple shares. “It’s still an extremely well-managed company and they are showing that the product pipeline is sufficient even now to generate growth rates that are unrivaled. Fuck the State of The Union, just put APPLE in charge

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (i6RpT)

409 Home movies of Daniel Pearl's Pakistani vacation.

Posted by: sparks at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (klAgA)

410 A remake of fast times at ridgemont high with helen thomas doing the pool scene.

(Sorry Phoebe)

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (FMbng)

411 Sad part is most of will watch it anyways.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (2YIVk)

412 Goatse II: The Jay Carney-ing

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (WsOiK)

413 Newt Gainbridge talking dirty to his new girlfriend on the phone, naked.

Posted by: Boyd at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (ozOHm)

414 Tehran burning, Islamabad burning, Mogadishu burning, Sana burning, etc.

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (vewos)

415

388 so what exactly is nancy cackling about now? she knows something about newt that will prevent him from getting elected?

Why in the world would she say this? If she does she should not say so until later and she should certainly not leak it publicly, especially if she gained the knowledge through in her official capacity.

I am starting to wonder if she really has some sort of disability.

.

--------

.

Again? ......She already said this before. She's said it again? ......And yes, chances are that the Botox damage to her brain has gotten worse.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (ALwK/)

416 I'd rather watch all 4 co-stars of Sex in The City perform the Vagina Monologues.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (niZvt)

417

I'm so excited! I just peed a little.

Posted by: Warren Buffet's Secretary at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (O7ksG)

418 52 Bill Clinton shove a mature pineapple up his ass.

Ermmmm ... I'm sure we could get a lot of folks to pay-per-view that. We need another thread for things we would like to watch Bill Clinton insert.


Posted by: Kristopher at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (Z3y1K)

419 I would rather watch "Ow my Balls!"

Posted by: Penfold at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (1PeEC)

420 An E.T. orgy (think about it)

Posted by: bernverdnardo at January 24, 2012 03:43 PM (xXhWA)

421 What time is this clusterf*ck on?

Posted by: Tami at January 24, 2012 03:44 PM (X6akg)

422 i'd rather watch Nancy Pelosi licking Barney Franks boobs.

Posted by: Racefan at January 24, 2012 03:44 PM (UkCvJ)

423 438 What time is this clusterf*ck on?

8:35PM EST

Posted by: M80B at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (d6QMz)

424 I'd rather watch the BME Pain Olympics.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (sb3kT)

425

you know there are laws against animal cruelty.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 07:42 PM (loM0R)

//// He didnt suffer, he died instantly.

Posted by: Elize Nayden at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (1ZoqB)

426 424 Pelosi getting donkey punched. Posted by: John Holmes at January 24, 2012 07:43 PM (Xwgt3) explains a lot actually.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (loM0R)

427 Aliens landing on the White House lawn

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (vewos)

428 Upper Decker:  The act of defecating in the upper tank of the toilet. When the next poor unsuspecting person flushes the toilet they get a bowl of beef stew. the upper decker is a weapon of terror and should only be used on people who deserve it.

Posted by: Webster's at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (RtpCp)

429 Spitzer/Parker's greatest hits.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (7utQ2)

430 Ron Paul read the phonebook in bed with Cindy Sheehan.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (WsOiK)

431 "Newt Gingrich's Head Implosion"

Posted by: JEA at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (EqnT0)

432 How can you not love the billionaire who is a democrat? Love us!

Posted by: Warren Buffet's Secretary at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (O7ksG)

433 I'd rather see Chaz Bono sit in gum.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (hiMsy)

434 BTW there is no way ill watch this shit.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 03:45 PM (sb3kT)

435 Aliens landing on the White House lawn Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 07:45 PM (vewos) Yeah like there isn't an alien there right now

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:46 PM (i6RpT)

436 Thanks, M80's.




Posted by: Tami at January 24, 2012 03:46 PM (X6akg)

437 I'd rather watch Rosie O'donnel get her episiotomy stitches removed.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:46 PM (QGNxr)

438 99%ers taking a bath

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:46 PM (vewos)

439 Fuck the State of The Union, just put APPLE in charge

Yes, yes, just get them away from us.

Posted by: Foxconn employees seeking the sweet release of an early grave at January 24, 2012 03:46 PM (6LvlL)

440 Kill Bill 2 on Spike... NO, Really!

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:46 PM (niZvt)

441 A crossover special that involves Jar Jar Binks, Neelix, Dominar Rygel XVI, the 6th Doctor, and Badger.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Camellia Sinensis Operative at January 24, 2012 03:46 PM (0q2P7)

442 William Hung vs. Roseanne Barr marathon sing-off.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:47 PM (RzLbD)

443 My wife tell the judge all about it.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:47 PM (WsOiK)

444 Spitzer/Weiner contest. Who can get a job on CNN and last more than a year?

Posted by: Warren Buffet's Secretary at January 24, 2012 03:47 PM (O7ksG)

445

The results on election night 2012.   ( unless we win the Senate)

Posted by: builderD at January 24, 2012 03:47 PM (JkooC)

446 Newt greasing himself up for an orgy.

Posted by: Boyd at January 24, 2012 03:47 PM (ozOHm)

447 I'd rather watch Chaz Bono play fetch with his dog using a peanut butter and KY smeared vibrator......and the dog wouldn't have to go far if you get my meaning.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 03:47 PM (sb3kT)

448 6 I'd rather watch balls.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2012 06:59 PM (nj1bB)





I'd rather watch bull riders trying to protect their balls. Those s.o.b.s are tough!

Posted by: jem at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (0oYHO)

449 The 2008 election night coverage.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (XGZYX)

450 a rookie punt return man fumble in OT

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (vewos)

451 Antonin Scalia's cholesterol numbers in real time.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (7utQ2)

452 nancy doing a one woman filibuster on a sybian reading maos little red book. i know it is the wrong chamber.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (loM0R)

453 Disco Godfather http://www.badmovies.org/movies/discogfather/

Posted by: Jack Bauer's Dad at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (qjYjE)

454 I'd rather watch a marathon of all the Michael Bay films.  At least Bay has some reverence and respect for the US military, unlike the current CinC.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (UR5vq)

455 Sometimes when I am feeling nastalgic I replay the cassette tape of the hogs eating my brother. I may do that again tonight.

Posted by: robtr at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (MtwBb)

456 Ooh an arrest at the home GWB.

Posted by: dananjcon at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (OXi3E)

457 Sad part is most of will watch it anyways.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2012 07:43 PM (2YIVk)

I figured I'd be passed out drunk by now but I'm not. I'll follow the play-by-play here and scream at the 'puter. While chugging beers.

Posted by: ErikW at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (98qlF)

458 Janet Reno pinching a loaf into Ace's mouth.

Posted by: GabeS at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (gKz+d)

459 Roseanne Barr/ Donald Trump insult scream-a-thon

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:48 PM (O7ksG)

460 Thanks, Websters.  Not too bad.  At least, it wasn't the same reaction I had when I first heard about felching.

Posted by: Lady in Black.....{sigh} at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (F+Xfj)

461 I'd rather have all of MeggyMac's books read to me, cover to cover back to back and without break by Andy Dick.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (4136b)

462 The full tape of Joe Biden trying to solve Rubik's Cube.

Posted by: Ted K. at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (RvJrH)

463

Sorry, Obama's mouth.

My bad.

Posted by: GabeS at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (gKz+d)

464 ...another Republican debate.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (QGNxr)

465 A failed television pilot where Goatse and Tubgirl fight crime.

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (Pf662)

466 robtr, you owe me a new laptop and cleaning fees for my sofa.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (7utQ2)

467 the Steelers beat the Browns, again,

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (vewos)

468

Janet Reno pinching a loaf into Nancy's mouth.

Ya, that one.

Posted by: GabeS at January 24, 2012 03:49 PM (gKz+d)

469 Michael Moore getting his salad tossed by Helen Thomas... ......on ice

Posted by: Jimbro at January 24, 2012 03:50 PM (kXtJY)

470 I'd rather watch "two warthogs, one cup" than the State of the Union.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at January 24, 2012 03:50 PM (goitd)

471

A Charlie Sheen concert

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:50 PM (O7ksG)

472 Girls Gone Wild: Madeline Albright-Helen Thomas Edition

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2012 03:50 PM (k4bdL)

473 I heard biden twisted that cube til it got so hot it melted in fat retarded little hands.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:50 PM (loM0R)

474 Yeah, Lady in Black, felching is reserved for the President and his favorite butt boys.

Posted by: Webster's at January 24, 2012 03:50 PM (RtpCp)

475 I'd rather watch Elena Kagan tap out the entire US Constitution, in morse code, on her clit.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:51 PM (QGNxr)

476 Americas Test Kitchen is making a bourbon lane cake ...

Posted by: Jean at January 24, 2012 03:51 PM (elbGQ)

477 ..rosie o'donnell eat a glob of fried fat..

Posted by: Willy at January 24, 2012 03:51 PM (/M/rE)

478 I'd rather watch Janet Reno, Rosanne Bar, Nancy Pelosi, and Helen Thomas in the new season of Bad Girls 4:Live, Loud, and Nude in Las Vegas.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 03:51 PM (sb3kT)

479 Jeremiah Wright's greatest hits in HD.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 03:51 PM (XGZYX)

480 Nancy Pelosi driving away with dick in her handbag.

On ice.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:51 PM (WsOiK)

481 yeah, right, Neelix nail the girl (stretch!)

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:51 PM (vewos)

482 My wife's ass, duh.....

Posted by: Tom Brady at January 24, 2012 03:52 PM (K7a8I)

483 31 ' "Tonight, President Obama delivers what we all hope will be his last State of the Union address." Don't you think he'll do one before he bails, provided we quit being The Stupid Party?' ... that last bit: that's a problem.

Posted by: Rex the Wonder God at January 24, 2012 03:52 PM (vahvH)

484 Harry Reid reading cowboy poetry.

On ice.

In front of a mural of the Battle of Agincourt.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:52 PM (7utQ2)

485 I'd rather listen to Matt Damon talk about politics for 3 hours, without a script.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 03:52 PM (sb3kT)

486 Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 07:51 PM (QGNxr) until the last word I thought you were talking about the oldest ship in the navy.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:52 PM (loM0R)

487 Have a kidney stone get stuck in my ureter

Posted by: Ben at January 24, 2012 03:52 PM (UvdzB)

488 Someone responsible do a headcount , morons tend to go missing for days on end when threads like this pop up .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2012 03:52 PM (npr0X)

489 Craig tapping a foot under the stall wall and the foot not being a cops. Cons, that is disgusting. You know how dirty those bathroom floors are?

Posted by: Boyd at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (ozOHm)

490 A Spanish stripper getting a vaginoplasty.

N. S. F. W.

The... removed parts look exactly like 1890s bartenders' handlebar mustaches.

http://tinyurl.com/7fqpcvw

Posted by: Llarry at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (Rnfm0)

491 Michelle giving Barry a Cleveland steamer.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the 1% at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (S1INM)

492 I'd rather listen to Matt Damon talk about politics for 3 hours, without a script. Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 07:52 PM (sb3kT) Oh the Humanity of it

Posted by: nevergiveup at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (i6RpT)

493 Mullah Omar getting all indignant about the Marine video.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (XGZYX)

494 Harry Reid at a cowboy poetry slam.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (k4bdL)

495 My wife's ass, duh.....

Posted by: Tom Brady at January 24, 2012 07:52 PM (K7a8I)

I'd a rather watch a my ass a too!

Posted by: Giselle at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (GsBJY)

496 them pump oil out of a capsized cruise ship, 24/7,

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (vewos)

497 unedited video of myself enjoying daily life splattered all over youtube

me absolutely out of control in temper tirade freaking out over the lid not being snapped back shut on the toothpaste splattered all over youtube

video of me honking at, spitting at & flipping off a slow driver on my way home from work cuz my meatloaf is getting cold because that stupid fucker is only driving the speed limit and at some point as i pass i realize that that "stupid fucker" i am screaming my head off at and threatening to "put in a vietnamese penis choke" is a ninety year old woman - splattered all over youtube.




Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (LCZ3l)

498 Caddyshack II.     Now THAT sucked rhino, big-time.

Posted by: builderD at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (JkooC)

499 "Someone responsible"

Good one.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:53 PM (7utQ2)

500 I'd rather watch Bill Maher give my wife a Cleveland Corsage.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:54 PM (WsOiK)

501 I'd rather watch Sandusky in the shower.... No I'd rather watch the state of the union

Posted by: runninrebel at January 24, 2012 03:54 PM (RTFZc)

502 A drunken muzzie dry humping a Dromedary Camel.

Posted by: ontherocks at January 24, 2012 03:54 PM (ZJCDy)

503 This is all great stuff, but sifty pretty much pwns this category.

Posted by: spongeworthy at January 24, 2012 03:54 PM (puy4B)

504 Nancy Visa Pelosi getting pushed off a high speed train after being smashed in the face with a frying pan.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 03:54 PM (O7ksG)

505 underwater cameras of oil pouring from a pipe

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:54 PM (vewos)

506 I'd rather listen Mayor Bloomberg impose another health regulation meant to save my life while he openly scoffs it.

Posted by: Penfold at January 24, 2012 03:54 PM (1PeEC)

507

502 Harry Reid reading cowboy poetry.

On ice.

In front of a mural of the Battle of Agincourt.
.

-------

.

Someone already mentioned Vogon poetry slam. .....but not on ice.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2012 03:54 PM (ALwK/)

508 A replay of the National Anthem being sung at the Pats/Ravens game.

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (MOOhP)

509

Pelosi: "There is something I know. The Republicans, if they choose to nominate him that's their prerogative. I don't even think that's going to happen."

Bitch knows the election is rigged, I'll bet.

"It's not he who votes that matters. It's he who counts the votes, that matters."...or something like that.  - Some Russian tyrannical monster

 

Posted by: LGoPs at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (lHn6+)

510 +500 posts/hour, of non-stop wrongness.

Posted by: bad guy at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (9Yg1a)

511 The thread's been up just under an hour and there are over 500 comments.

I love the moron horde.

Posted by: Slublog at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (QVyUz)

512 An OWS snuff film.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (WUWb9)

513 Perino fire up Tantaros right thur on set, yep, that'll work.

Posted by: Bob Beckel at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (K7a8I)

514 Joe Biden impersonating Stretch Armstrong with his dick.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (SzAZ7)

515 I'd rather watch turtles fuck than listen to this SCOAMF.

Posted by: Countrysquire at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (xMJ53)

516 Ted Danson's Global Warming Extravaganza:  Episodes 1-459.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (7utQ2)

517 niki minaj giving nancy and michelle a beat down

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (loM0R)

518 "LeBron James' Great NBA Finals Performances"

Posted by: Ted K. at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (RvJrH)

519 THE SOUND OF MUSIC

Posted by: Marlee Matlin at January 24, 2012 03:55 PM (XOBhY)

520 I'd rather watch Harry Reid do a televised reading of War And Peace.

Posted by: Helpful Pundit at January 24, 2012 03:56 PM (jiwQf)

521 the whole fucking list above

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 24, 2012 03:56 PM (BhuDE)

522 I'd rather read another one of Clarence's posts.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:56 PM (niZvt)

523 home dentistry videos

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:56 PM (vewos)

524 I'd rather watch Oprah, Dr. Phil and Helen Thomas engage in a threesome than watch Oblahblah's STFU speech.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 03:56 PM (U9Spd)

525 My wife chewing her toenails.

Posted by: bergerbilder at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (j+Izh)

526 Al Gore reading the New York Times aloud.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (RzLbD)

527 I'd rather watch Raylen Givens get married to Wynn Duffy in a quiet country church.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (WsOiK)

528 I'd rather be at work, staring at a computer screen, trying to write a memo of law in opposition to obscure issues for which I do not really care. Oh hell, I am. This sucks.

Posted by: Penfold at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (1PeEC)

529 Julian Assange's new talk show.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (k4bdL)

530 home appendectomy videos

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (vewos)

531 oh, wait...maybe I got that all wrong.  I need to find something more disgusting and pathetic to watch other than the SOTUBS?   Wow!  Really, I don't know if I can.  All y'all hep me out heah!

Posted by: jem at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (0oYHO)

532 I would rather borrow Ace's time machine, travel back to New Years Eve 1972-3, and watch my parents conceive me.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (QGNxr)

533

Posted by: Llarry at January 24, 2012 07:53 PM (Rnfm0)

WTF is wrong with you? 

Posted by: ErikW at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (98qlF)

534 Maxine Waters, Hank Johnson, and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz on "Wheel of Fortune."

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (7utQ2)

535 Algore give a Global Warming speech.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 03:57 PM (niZvt)

536 Hot lesbo bi racial pron.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the 1% at January 24, 2012 03:58 PM (tWFaN)

537 ......reruns of Bill Maher.....with Oliver Stone and Michael Moore.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2012 03:58 PM (ALwK/)

538 Sheila Jackson Lee and Hank Johnson giving lectures on U.S. history and geology, respectively.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2012 03:58 PM (k4bdL)

539 Quentin Tarantino's remake of Marlon Brando Takes a Shit in HD.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 03:58 PM (WsOiK)

540 The Star Wars Christmas Special

Posted by: Warthog at January 24, 2012 03:58 PM (ZL8Ru)

541 Current TV

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 03:58 PM (RzLbD)

542 O/T ... When is that Julian Assange show on?! That will be WAY better than a blow-job delivered State of the onion address!

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 03:58 PM (vewos)

543 551 I would rather borrow Ace's time machine, travel back to New Years Eve 1972-3, and watch my parents conceive me. ...on ice.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 03:58 PM (SzAZ7)

544 Kelly Osborne's Vegan Cooking/Punk Music Variety Show

Posted by: Ted K. at January 24, 2012 03:59 PM (RvJrH)

545

 Than hearing the line if I wake up in Hell.   " Then you are going to HATE Thursdays"  

Posted by: builderD at January 24, 2012 03:59 PM (JkooC)

546 SCOAMF Give Helen Thomas a Dirty Sanchez

Posted by: IronFox at January 24, 2012 03:59 PM (kEUZe)

547 Is it me or does Direct TV have a new look and faster channels?

Posted by: USS Diversity at January 24, 2012 03:59 PM (PddVe)

548 Bill Clinton and George Soros, talkin' 'bout love.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2012 03:59 PM (k4bdL)

549 Harry Reid 69ing with a grizzly bear.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 03:59 PM (XGZYX)

550 any of the horribly misshapen, crack whore cheerleaders they put on the football threads do almost anything.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 03:59 PM (loM0R)

551 Cop Rock.....in 5.1 Dolby Surround.

Posted by: Stephen Bochco at January 24, 2012 03:59 PM (K7a8I)

552 The Star Wars Christmas Special

...on ice.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:00 PM (WsOiK)

553 ...a Nat Geo two-hour special of octopii mating...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at January 24, 2012 04:00 PM (d0Tfm)

554 Ishtar.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2012 04:00 PM (r2PLg)

555

Michael Moore's tax returns.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:00 PM (O7ksG)

556 my sister play piano.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:00 PM (loM0R)

557 Clint Malarchuk's Moment of Infamy

(also on ice)

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 24, 2012 04:00 PM (5ykMU)

558 William Shatner do a dramatic reading of the lyrics of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 04:00 PM (niZvt)

559 Bob Ross paint flowers

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:00 PM (VMcEw)

560 I'd rather watch Attack of the Clones than the SOTU.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (i0App)

561 SCOAMF giving Helen Thomas a Cleveland Steamer.

Posted by: Penfold at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (1PeEC)

562 I'd rather listen to Matt Damon talk about politics for 3 hours, without a script.

---------------

I'd rather listen to Meghan McButterfat about politics for 3 hours, without a script.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (xm1A1)

563 Lol! Garrett!!! You all are stepping it up here!

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (U9Spd)

564 Michael Moore stripping with a pole dance

Posted by: museisluse at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (+P7KR)

565 A Sex in the City marathon, dubbed into Mandarin Chinese.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (k4bdL)

566 ...a Boy George video...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (d0Tfm)

567 You spelled my name wrong.

Posted by: Raylan at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (ozOHm)

568

Luap Nor talking about chemtrails. (Actually, that might be quite amusing.)

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 04:01 PM (MOOhP)

569 MegaNewt vs Mittopus II: The Honeymoon

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (WsOiK)

570 I'd rather watch the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, without the volume, just a close up of his stupid fucking facial expressions.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (sb3kT)

571 Rather watch "NBA Tournament Of Champions" on Jeopardy.

Posted by: Helpful Pundit at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (jiwQf)

572

"Two Congressmen, One Cup"

I would pay real money to see that.

Posted by: The Atom Bomb of Loving Kindness at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (Pl6My)

573 jay carney rising a sybian and blowing biden while getting the latest information for his next release from zero michelle.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (loM0R)

574 Uncle Buck II, starring Jerry Sandusky as Uncle Buck

Posted by: Ted K. at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (RvJrH)

575 David Caruso performing Hamlet.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (7W3wI)

576 re 391
while andy sullivan beats off

Posted by: mallfly at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (bJm7W)

577

The obsessive Hollywood remake of the McCain/Palin campaign.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:02 PM (O7ksG)

578 more home dentistry videos, with the sound on this time,

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (vewos)

579 584 A Sex in the City marathon, dubbed into Mandarin Chinese. Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2012 08:01 PM (k4bdL) that is pretty bad.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (loM0R)

580 I'd rather sit through a 2 hour course on the constitution given by Ezra Klein.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (4136b)

581 I'd rather watch Ace review a movie.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (WsOiK)

582 another fucking Boston/New York sporting event.

Posted by: Jack Bauer's Dad at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (qjYjE)

583 Ok I got it....I rather watch the Bridges of Madison County Porno version.....with the original cast.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (sb3kT)

584 Captain Kangaroo and Mr Green Jeans projectile vomiting for distance.

Posted by: ontherocks at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (ZJCDy)

585 ...Ace gently sob after making love to Marco Rubio's garbage.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (QGNxr)

586 I'd rather watch all of Chrystia Freeland's bird impressions in one sitting.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (4136b)

587 John Huntsman endorsing Mitt Romney.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 04:03 PM (XGZYX)

588 Another episode of Law & Order.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 04:04 PM (niZvt)

589 Moochelle giving SCOAMF a Dirty Sanchez.

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 04:04 PM (Pf662)

590 600 I'd rather watch Ace review a movie. Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 08:03 PM (WsOiK) it is better than watching him watch it .

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:04 PM (loM0R)

591 A remake of the "Star Wars Holiday Special" with Keith Olbermann, Margaret Cho, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, and Alan Colmes.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2012 04:04 PM (xm1A1)

592 Stephen Colbert insert an Ayn Rand novel up his ass, while picking lettuce.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:04 PM (O7ksG)

593 593 Uncle Buck II, starring Jerry Sandusky as Uncle Buck Posted by: Ted K. at January 24, 2012 08:02 PM (RvJrH) Golf clap

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 04:04 PM (sb3kT)

594 I'd rather watch an Israeli tank get stuck in the mud.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at January 24, 2012 04:04 PM (X3vSL)

595 I would rather watch Jeffery Dahmer handcraft a lampshade from a human nut sac than watch Oblahblah's STFU speech!

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:05 PM (U9Spd)

596 What's Prohibited and What's Mandatory.  A very important PSA by Michael Bloomberg and Chuck Schumer.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 04:05 PM (RzLbD)

597 Watch Clarence suck his momma's d*ck.

Posted by: Wad at January 24, 2012 04:05 PM (tFXnz)

598 Harvey Fierstein doing a dramatic reading of a C'OD flame thread.

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 24, 2012 04:05 PM (5ykMU)

599 nancy remaking the toe smashing scene from payback with a nude barney frank.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:05 PM (loM0R)

600 The chick with two vaginas trying to use a vibrator

Posted by: Vinnie at January 24, 2012 04:05 PM (1UWE0)

601 I'd rather read the comments at AoSHQ!

Posted by: Breitbart at January 24, 2012 04:05 PM (QGNxr)

602 John Huntsman endorsing Mitt Romney.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 08:03 PM (XGZYX)

 

 

 

Mitt Romney endorsing Newt Gingrich. 

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 04:06 PM (MOOhP)

603 619 The chick with two vaginas trying to use a vibrator Posted by: Vinnie at January 24, 2012 08:05 PM (1UWE0) I'd watch that regardless.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 04:06 PM (sb3kT)

604 I'd rather watch shocking footage of bull castrations gone wrong.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:06 PM (WsOiK)

605 619 That's hawt.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 04:06 PM (7W3wI)

606 I'd rather watch a Stand By Me and Deliverance double feature with Jerry Sandusky and Anthony Weiner.

Posted by: Mongoose at January 24, 2012 04:06 PM (KM86p)

607 615 oh help. SOTU might win out on that one. geez.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:06 PM (O7ksG)

608   What I pray I never see  . . .  Nancy Pelosi kicking "humpbot" in the balls. Sweet Jesus.

Posted by: builderD at January 24, 2012 04:07 PM (JkooC)

609 for signs of life on a 10 hour old Saturday thread

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:07 PM (VMcEw)

610 zero spending and afternoon home alone with jay carney before he jets off on air force one to catch up with the family vacation.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:07 PM (loM0R)

611 the highly organized response to a disaster of any type by the Pakistani "government"

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 04:07 PM (vewos)

612 Rather watch Newt in a remake of Deliverance squealing like a little piglet.

Posted by: Raylan at January 24, 2012 04:07 PM (ozOHm)

613 Barney Frank's honeymoon video.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 04:07 PM (niZvt)

614 one of my young children approach me while i am in front of my computer to ask me a question while unstoppable porn popups are cascading on my screen because i just had to go see if anything new and exciting was on kaotic or machovideo.

fall for the old "check out dicksdotcom for a deal on ski boots for me, will ya?" trick my coworkers like to play on me - again

boot up my computer at work to find my homepages has been hijacked by "asianbuttolesdotcom" - again

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 04:07 PM (LCZ3l)

615 I would rather watch Michael Moore naked, eating crap sandwiches he pulls out from the folds of his fat.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:07 PM (U9Spd)

616 Clarence losing his virginity to a turnip.

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 04:08 PM (Pf662)

617 634 I would rather watch Michael Moore naked, eating crap sandwiches he pulls out from the folds of his fat. Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 08:07 PM (U9Spd) so you have spent the holidays at his house before.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:08 PM (loM0R)

618 Wacth any Ingmar Berman movie.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 24, 2012 04:08 PM (L3I4w)

619 'Farewell to the King' on the MGMHD channel.

Nick Nolte as a Borneo jungle king. 

Posted by: Lenny Bruce / Leonard Alfred Schneider at January 24, 2012 04:08 PM (UqKQV)

620 Rand Paul trying to snort up all that coke he was carrying

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (vewos)

621 I'd rather watch Barack clean Michele's Strap-on.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (QGNxr)

622 Two weeks ago I was on a west coast project with a head cold lying in a shopping mall dentist's office getting a wisdom tooth pulled.  It was like getting water boarded for 45 minutes except for the added benefit of pliers. If only they could of put the SOTU on the TV my journey to the dark side would be complete.

Posted by: AE at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (AsVq7)

623 Rather watch...where I was going.

Posted by: Captain Francesco Schettino at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (gT3jF)

624

Shave my wife's back.

Posted by: W.J. Clinton at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (u3N3z)

625 I would rather see SCOAMF shoot a round of golf, live, on ice!

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (U9Spd)

626 I'd rather watch The Aristocrats.

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (5ykMU)

627 video of me shopping (by myself, as a favor) for sex toys for the chick with two pussies - splattered all over youtube

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (LCZ3l)

628 I'd rather read the AoSHQ ONT thread.

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 04:09 PM (MOOhP)

629 wait, there's porn on computers now   ??????????????????????????

Posted by: Lenny Bruce / Leonard Alfred Schneider at January 24, 2012 04:10 PM (UqKQV)

630 I'd rather watch Rachel Maddow fish out a missing dental dam.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 04:10 PM (QGNxr)

631 I'd rather rewatch these videos of self-absorbed artistes in Denmark, developing "Ideas about collectivity and individuality, art and democracy, centering and decentering, and the importance of creating uninhibited spaces."

Posted by: dicentra at January 24, 2012 04:10 PM (AIGFR)

632 I'd rather watch Snookie do The Situation with a strap-on.

Posted by: Bob The Cimmerian at January 24, 2012 04:10 PM (40Ex+)

633 I'd rather watch Paula Deen fry my toenail clippings in butter naked and then hide them randomly amongst my pantry.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:10 PM (WsOiK)

634 These videos:

http://tinyurl.com/6u36h7f

Posted by: dicentra at January 24, 2012 04:10 PM (AIGFR)

635
David Caruso performing Hamlet.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 08:02 PM (7W3wI)







Little known true fact: The Danes invented sunglasses.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2012 04:10 PM (XCHGh)

636 I'd rather watch a Broadway show of Les Miserables, with the cast including Kim Kardasian, Snookie, the Situation, and Paris Hilton.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 04:11 PM (sb3kT)

637 I would rather see Bill Clinton stuff a cigar in the...oh, never mind!

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:11 PM (U9Spd)

638 An interpretive dance version of Meghan McCain's new book.

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 04:11 PM (Pf662)

639 My inauguration.

Posted by: Barack Obama at January 24, 2012 04:11 PM (IZBVV)

640 I do wish all of the Republicans would show up wearing Obama golf pants.

Posted by: whatever at January 24, 2012 04:11 PM (O7ksG)

641 American Buffalo starring Dustin Hoffman

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 04:11 PM (LCZ3l)

642 the lion king on broadway with zero in the lead - I think that is what he will be doing next year anyway.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (loM0R)

643 ...video every person that ever played more than one bar of 'Stairway to Heaven' in a guitar shop, back to back.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (QGNxr)

644 reruns of M*A*S*H

Now that is bad.

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (VMcEw)

645 rather watch Chaz trying on g-strings. not the musical kind, that's more Barney Frank's style

Posted by: mallfly at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (bJm7W)

646 Geraldo opening a vault.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (RzLbD)

647 I would rather watch a double feature of Out of Africa and Bicentennial Man.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (U9Spd)

648 the devil eating my soul

Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (QQAJP)

649 rather watch to see if it is the same catarpillar eating that leaf.

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (h+qn8)

650 michell blowing zero after having been on a low calore vegan diet for five months - not going to end well.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:12 PM (loM0R)

651 Little known true fact: The Danes invented sunglasses.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2012 08:10 PM (XCHGh)

 

 

That's why I read this blog.  The education.

 

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (MOOhP)

652 John Kerry's 1971 testimony on Vietnam.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (XGZYX)

653 666?

Posted by: Raylan at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (ozOHm)

654 455 I'd rather watchRosie O'donnelget her episiotomy stitches removed.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 07:46 PM (QGNxr)

Right. She whole-lotta-rosie wouldn't need one of those to birth a VW

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (LzMoX)

655
...video every person that ever played more than one bar of 'Stairway to Heaven' in a guitar shop, back to back.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 08:12 PM (QGNxr)










Or "Enter Sandman".......

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (XCHGh)

656 A six-hour retrospective on AOSHQ Delaware Senate threads hosted by Katie Couric and Alan Colmes.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (7utQ2)

657 Hillary getting a blow job from Uma and then Michelle

Posted by: dagny at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (w+PM8)

658 I'd rather watch Avatar.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (sb3kT)

659
Watch ows crowd clean up after themselves.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (L3I4w)

660 I think pushing that comment out of the 666 is a damnable offence

Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at January 24, 2012 04:13 PM (QQAJP)

661 ...Casey Affleck and Matt Damon in 'Gerry'.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 04:14 PM (QGNxr)

662 The space baby sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 04:14 PM (niZvt)

663 John Kerry's "jinjiss kon" shit.

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 04:14 PM (LCZ3l)

664 ...video every person that ever played more than one bar of 'Stairway to Heaven' in a guitar shop, back to back.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2012 08:12 PM (QGNxr)

Or "Enter Sandman".......




Please--"Smoke on the Water"--fucking amateur torturers....

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 04:14 PM (7utQ2)

665 re 640: why does Michelle... oh, okay. eww.

Posted by: mallfly at January 24, 2012 04:14 PM (bJm7W)

666 the media pretend He is the best thing ever to happen to the world

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:14 PM (h+qn8)

667 I now pronounce you, Epic Thread.

Posted by: The Reverend Blog at January 24, 2012 04:14 PM (RtpCp)

668  I do wish all of the Republicans would show up wearing Obama golf pants.

Posted by: whatever at January 24, 2012 08:11 PM (O7ksG)

 

 

And bicycle helmets.

Posted by: Soona at January 24, 2012 04:15 PM (MOOhP)

669 jimmy carter and zero vacationing together at sandals from 2012 through 2016.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:15 PM (loM0R)

670 Some asshole drinking miller lite and talking politics while proudly sporting his "don't blame me, i voted for kerry" t-shirt.

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 04:15 PM (LCZ3l)

671 David Carradine just hanging around.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 04:15 PM (niZvt)

672 I'd rather watch Casey Anthony babysit my daughter on a hidden camera.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 04:15 PM (sb3kT)

673 Katie Couric's colonostomy, in HD, in 3D, narrated by William Shatner.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 04:15 PM (4q5tP)

674 An endless Rickroll loop at maximum volume.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 04:16 PM (RzLbD)

675 Chinese communists at every level telling me they "don't want to be a super power", and expecting me to believe it,

Posted by: And Irresolute at January 24, 2012 04:16 PM (vewos)

676 It's been too long since Ace did a David Caruso joke.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2012 04:16 PM (7W3wI)

677 the dog digging a hole in the flower bed filled with roses

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:16 PM (h+qn8)

678 Hedo Rick selling his uncut and uncensored Tips for Hedonism II dvd collection, live from Arizona

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 04:16 PM (LCZ3l)

679 "Think before you hit SEND....."

Posted by: #WhiteHouseConscience at January 24, 2012 04:16 PM (23xg+)

680 I would rather see Al Gore sporting a mesh tube top and thong while humping a tree.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:17 PM (U9Spd)

681 David Carradine just hanging around.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 08:15 PM (niZvt)

omg

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:17 PM (h+qn8)

682 the look on couric's face when she found out her colonostomy was being filmed by joe francis and performed by charlie sheen

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:17 PM (loM0R)

683
Video of the Moron Horde F5'ing the living shit out of this thread.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2012 04:17 PM (XCHGh)

684 Ishtar projected on Michael Moore's taint.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 04:18 PM (RzLbD)

685 I'd rather watch the whiskey bottle gradually become less and less full. P.S. It cannot be called bourbon unless it is distilled in Kentucky. Mitch McConnell's sole achievement as as a U.S. Senator.

Posted by: VADM (Red) Cuthbert Collingwood RN (Mentioned in Dispatches) at January 24, 2012 04:18 PM (kkQ6Q)

686 I'm WATCHING!!! Barack Obama is the is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.
I am voting for him with every fiber of my body!!!!!

Posted by: Meghan Mac at January 24, 2012 04:18 PM (DlWx3)

687 A Fear Factor episode featuring bouts of nasty with Rosie Odonnel and Helen Thomas.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 24, 2012 04:18 PM (sb3kT)

688 Hugo Chavez and Amadenijad at the U.N.

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2012 04:18 PM (XGZYX)

689 I'd rather watch Jimmie James watch his son drown in the Suwanee river, or watch the "Swamp Man" shoot himself in the foot with his .44.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at January 24, 2012 04:18 PM (+WgEk)

690 Blood streaming out of my own ass.

Posted by: Thrill at January 24, 2012 04:18 PM (OqVvg)

691 The White House visitor logs.

Posted by: whatever at January 24, 2012 04:19 PM (O7ksG)

692 Silence of the Lambs with Hannibal played by PeeWee Herman.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:19 PM (WsOiK)

693 ..lesbian pr0n between Kagan and Sotomayor.

Posted by: Bob The Cimmerian at January 24, 2012 04:19 PM (40Ex+)

694
Watch Al Sharpton we much, with subtitles.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 24, 2012 04:19 PM (L3I4w)

695 the look on couric's face when she found out her colonostomy was being filmed by joe francis and performed by charlie sheen

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 08:17 PM (loM0R)










"That's not my thermometer"

"Okay doctor, but there better be numbers on that thing!"

Old punchline.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2012 04:19 PM (XCHGh)

696

Hugo Chavez and Amadenijad at the U.N.

Getting eaten by a giant tarantula

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:19 PM (O7ksG)

697 @703 Ishtar projected on Michael Moore's taint. The musical.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 04:19 PM (SzAZ7)

698 I would rather watch Sean Penn and Dakota Fanning in "I am Sam".

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:19 PM (U9Spd)

699 the sequel to Striptease! starring helen Thomas as Demi Moore.....

Posted by: sven10077 at January 24, 2012 04:20 PM (LRFds)

700 A family of candiru swim up my urethra carrying a picnic basket.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:20 PM (WsOiK)

701 Madonna's Super Bowl halftime show.

Yeah, that one kinda hurt as I typed it.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 04:20 PM (7utQ2)

702 715 Hugo Chavez and Amadenijad at the U.N.
Getting eaten by a giant tarantula

On ice.

Posted by: Armando at January 24, 2012 04:20 PM (Pf662)

703 I'd rather watch Andrea Mitchell's next face tightening session.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 04:20 PM (4136b)

704 Oh! I'm so excited!  It's almost time. I hope I remember my lines. Stand up and smile and wave. Stand up and smile and wave.

Posted by: Warren Buffet's Secretary at January 24, 2012 04:21 PM (O7ksG)

705 Jar-Jar-Binks out takes

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:21 PM (VMcEw)

706 "That's not my thermometer" "Okay doctor, but there better be numbers on that thing!" Old punchline. Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2012 08:19 PM (XCHGh) funny. In the scenario above I am sure she is the one screaming oh yeah winning!

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:21 PM (loM0R)

707 Jon Huntsman giving Chinese lessons to Joe Biden.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2012 04:21 PM (r2PLg)

708

Helen Thomas, Bella Abzug, and Andrea Dworkin starring in:

 

Candystripers XXVII - Making The Rounds

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 04:22 PM (4q5tP)

709 Margaret Cho, naked and oiled, do another comedy routine about her tiny Asian grandmother.

Posted by: The Goggles... at January 24, 2012 04:22 PM (5Odcb)

710 Lou Holtz eating an entire box of Ritz crackers.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2012 04:23 PM (7utQ2)

711 http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies_eyes.php

Remember the JEF is a leftie when using this chart.

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:23 PM (VMcEw)

712 I'd rather play Cranium with Eleanor Clift and Francis Fox Piven.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 04:24 PM (4136b)

713 I would rather watch and listen to a naked Helen Thomas get a full body wax done by a naked Rosie O'Doughole live.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:24 PM (U9Spd)

714

I'd rather have my genitals shaved by Michael J. Fox and a team of trained circus monkeys while watching a Keith Olbermann Marathon on PMSNBC, with a red chokeball in my mouth and my eyelids propped open like Alex's in "A Clockwork Orange."

Maybe not the Olbermann part.

 

Posted by: norrin radd at January 24, 2012 04:24 PM (UO+6t)

715

"Two Congressmen, One Cup"

 

that's both horrifying and hilarious.

Posted by: Ron Paul is the worst politician ever... except for all the others. at January 24, 2012 04:24 PM (m6OUa)

716 Ladies cheering conservatives because they believe in freedom.

Posted by: Raylan at January 24, 2012 04:24 PM (ozOHm)

717 A secret video of my food being prepared at a fast food restaurant.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at January 24, 2012 04:25 PM (SzAZ7)

718 Madonna's Super Bowl halftime show.

Behind the scenes: The botox machine

Posted by: Warren Buffet's Secretary at January 24, 2012 04:25 PM (O7ksG)

719 paul krugman reading this thread while maniacally punching f5 with left hand til he breaks his right wrist on the underside of his desk.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:25 PM (loM0R)

720

i'd rather watch "Fear Factor - the Human Waste Edition"

Posted by: Ron Paul is the worst politician ever... except for all the others. at January 24, 2012 04:25 PM (m6OUa)

721 727 That would actually be funny

Posted by: dagny at January 24, 2012 04:26 PM (w+PM8)

722 Shep Smith getting a CAT scan of his skull it would kind of be like Geraldo in Al Capone's Vault.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2012 04:26 PM (r2PLg)

723 "I'd rather watch _____dog shit harden_____________ than the State of the Union."

Posted by: Jones at January 24, 2012 04:26 PM (8sCoq)

724 I'd rather watch Truman North typing one handed on Skype.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:26 PM (U9Spd)

725

What's the over under on President tardy pants?

I'm going with 22 minutes.

Posted by: KZnextzone at January 24, 2012 04:27 PM (UXEgP)

726 I'd rather watch a full-on and well-lit money shot of Janeane Garofalo's menstrual cycle in time-lapse video.

Posted by: weew at January 24, 2012 04:27 PM (koRYD)

727 I'd rather watch heartwarming candid films from Michael Vick's dog kennels.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:27 PM (WsOiK)

728

...Queen Elizabeth felching... you know some things are just too gross to type.

Posted by: Bob The Cimmerian at January 24, 2012 04:27 PM (40Ex+)

729

The comedic genius of Zombie Jim Varney as captured in the Earnest P Worrell complete catalog; including his start with commercials for Houston Lighting & Power (aka HL&P; aka Houston Looting and Plunder).

 

KnowwhutImean?

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 04:28 PM (4q5tP)

730 Kyle Williams return a punt.

Posted by: Chuck Pylon at January 24, 2012 04:28 PM (/DG71)

731 I'd rather watch Joe Biden congratulate the San Francisco Giants at a big White House soiree after they win the Super Bowl.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:28 PM (U9Spd)

732 A bit late but...

I'd rather watch Ed Gein prepare dinner....

Posted by: model_1066 at January 24, 2012 04:28 PM (PWwbk)

733 jim careys daughter on American idol

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:28 PM (loM0R)

734 Barry giving Michelle a Dirty Sanchez.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the 1% at January 24, 2012 04:29 PM (tWFaN)

735 I'd rather watch an edited for TV Ewe Boll movie marathon.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at January 24, 2012 04:29 PM (X3vSL)

736 all of owen honors unedited videos - really.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:29 PM (loM0R)

737 I'd rather watch raw uncensored video footage of a Rwandan genocidal atrocity.

Posted by: weew at January 24, 2012 04:29 PM (koRYD)

738 Time-lapse photography of myself aging.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 24, 2012 04:29 PM (LzMoX)

739 I'd rather watch Ed Gein prepare dinner....

***
Eeeeewwww!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 24, 2012 04:29 PM (piMMO)

740 Sausage being made

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:30 PM (VMcEw)

741 Sanchez giving Michelle a Dirty Obama.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 24, 2012 04:30 PM (Br3eE)

742 749 727 That would actually be funny Posted by: dagny Dear God. We've been at this for only two hours, and he's gotten hungry and ordered takeout twice. Posted by: Huntsman has a new gig at January 24, 2012 08:27 PM (c9Ivb) LOL...you gotta work "on ice"...in there, no?

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2012 04:30 PM (r2PLg)

743 Barry giving Michelle a Dirty Sanchez. Posted by: Billy Bob, the 1% at January 24, 2012 08:29 PM (tWFaN) pretty sure the secret service has seen the opposite of that that a thousand times. Reggie love did the same.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:30 PM (loM0R)

744 Chris Christie in a donut eating contest.

Posted by: currently at January 24, 2012 04:30 PM (flA6l)

745 Dirty Sanchez giving a Dirty Sanchez to Dirty Sanchez Jr.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at January 24, 2012 04:30 PM (WUWb9)

746 Caillou...giving his Asian girlfriend a Dirty Canadian.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 24, 2012 04:31 PM (Br3eE)

747 I'd rather watch Janet Reno get a colostomy

Posted by: weew at January 24, 2012 04:31 PM (koRYD)

748 Stephen Hawking taking swim lessons.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2012 04:31 PM (niZvt)

749 What the miniature-sex-robot guy does with all the miniature-sex-robots when the camera's off.  See the sidebar for the reference.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at January 24, 2012 04:31 PM (je9Ke)

750 I would rather watch the live birth of the love child conceived by Secretary of State Clinton and Michael Moore.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:32 PM (U9Spd)

751 Keith Olbermann as a sports reporter.  (ugh, can you imagine?)

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 04:32 PM (RzLbD)

752 I'd rather watch Charlie Rangel laying out on a sun chair getting a tan. In my backyard. While drinking my beer.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:32 PM (WsOiK)

753

1.  Deep Inside Debbie Wasserman-Schulz

2.  Where The Boys Aren't #666 starring Debbie along with every other proglodyte wench referenced above.  Subtitled "Washington Confidential - And Keep it That Way !"

 

Posted by: SocietyIs2Blame at January 24, 2012 04:33 PM (yK8YH)

754

Diane Sawyer gettin' giddy over OWS crowds gathering.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:33 PM (O7ksG)

755 ...Eli Manning shove the Vince Lombardi Trophy up O'bama's tukhus.

Posted by: Bob The Cimmerian at January 24, 2012 04:33 PM (40Ex+)

756 I'd rather watch a Retrospective of Saved by The Bell with Screech narrating.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 04:33 PM (U9Spd)

757 I'd rather watch Barney Frank's homemade porn

Posted by: weew at January 24, 2012 04:33 PM (koRYD)

758 John Wayne "Frankenpenis" Bobbit's restoration and enhancement surgical procedures, in HD, 3D, on ice.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 04:33 PM (4q5tP)

759 2 dallas cowboy cheerleaders rubbing the football

Posted by: the football at January 24, 2012 04:33 PM (G3/yf)

760 I'd rather watch Manos: The Hands of Fate, non-MST3K version.

Posted by: Mandy P. at January 24, 2012 04:34 PM (qFpRI)

761 "I'd rather watch Honey Badgers with an Open Marriage fucking than the State of the Union."

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 04:34 PM (zgwWv)

762 An evening of left-of-center comedians sniping at teabaggers, conservative women, Christians and other "cutting edge" material that will get you booked on Real Time.

Actually, I was invited to this very thing tomorrow night.   I'd rather watch my DVR'd SOTU.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 04:34 PM (4136b)

763 I'd rather watch a Retrospective of Saved by The Bell with Screech narrating. Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 08:33 PM (U9Spd) the lost episodes of screech serving as barney frank's senate page.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:34 PM (loM0R)

764

Spacebar - the final frontier, apparently.  FFS.

1. Deep Inside Debbie Wasserman-Schulz

2.  Where The Boys Aren't #666 starring Debbie along with every other proglodyte wench referenced above. Subtitled "Washington Confidential - And Keep it That Way !"

 

Posted by: SocietyIs2Blame at January 24, 2012 04:34 PM (yK8YH)

765 I'd rather refine my extensive food stamp collection

Posted by: Juan Williams at January 24, 2012 04:34 PM (sOPIV)

766

i'd rather watch the 4 hour long Directors Cut of "Miss Marple Buys a New Tea Cozy"

Posted by: Ron Paul is the worst politician ever... except for all the others. at January 24, 2012 04:35 PM (m6OUa)

767 I'd rather watch the IRS go through my receipts.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:35 PM (WsOiK)

768 Tony Roma throw away another game

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:35 PM (VMcEw)

769 I'd rather watch Al-Zazeera

Posted by: weew at January 24, 2012 04:35 PM (koRYD)

770 Stephen Colbert give Nancy Pelosi some testamony.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:35 PM (O7ksG)

771 "I'd rather watch First Lady Worf eat a cheeseburger than the State of the Union."

(sticking with the earlier Trekkie theme)

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 04:36 PM (zgwWv)

772 all the republicans standing up to applaud that Gabby stayed in until her pension vested.

Posted by: dagny at January 24, 2012 04:36 PM (w+PM8)

773 i rather watch Pelosi blow fart bubbles in a bath tube.

Posted by: Racefan at January 24, 2012 04:37 PM (UkCvJ)

774 I'd rather listen to SOTU instead of watching, so I could take important notes on my iPad

Posted by: Special Ed Morrisey at January 24, 2012 04:37 PM (sOPIV)

775 zero getting ready for his speech this afternoon by practicing with lionel logue.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:37 PM (loM0R)

776 slow motion video of dick morris' lip doing that weird wander downward and out to the left thing

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 04:37 PM (LCZ3l)

777 My wedding video.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 04:37 PM (4q5tP)

778 I'd rather watch Tiny Tim live in concert

Posted by: weew at January 24, 2012 04:37 PM (koRYD)

779

Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, Harry Reid, and Chris Dodd all oiled, naked, writhing and laughing on a pile of insider trading money.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:38 PM (O7ksG)

780 I'd rather watch myself code a compiler in hex.

Posted by: weew at January 24, 2012 04:38 PM (koRYD)

781 I'd rather watch the IRS go through my receipts.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 08:35 PM (WsOiK)

gak, i'd rather watch obama tell us how wonderful he is and we are not worthy.

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:38 PM (h+qn8)

782 "I'd rather watch Meghan McCain try to convince Barney Frank that Vaginas aren't 'yucky' than the State of the Union."

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 04:38 PM (zgwWv)

783 ....a 180 grain, 44 mag bullet, coming out of a Model 29 Smith & Wesson 8-3/8" barrel towards my eye.

Posted by: Hobo from Heck at January 24, 2012 04:38 PM (gYsnd)

784 slow motion video of dick morris' lip doing that weird wander downward and out to the left thing

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 08:37 PM (LCZ3l)

OT my wife calls him squiggle lips

Posted by: The Jackhole at January 24, 2012 04:39 PM (nTgAI)

785 billy cundiff cowering and crying balls in the shower post game....as the rest of the ravens slowly surround him....



Posted by: southern by the grace of I-95 at January 24, 2012 04:39 PM (dQYBc)

786 The 1974 World Football League All Star game, sponsored by Morrie's Wigs.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 24, 2012 04:39 PM (Br3eE)

787 nancy sitting in her office with zero on a leash dressed up in a princess leia costume.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:39 PM (loM0R)

788 State of the Union address may be watched. I'd rather not watch State of the Union address. Therefore, State of the Union address will not be watched by me.

Posted by: Jared Laughner at January 24, 2012 04:40 PM (sOPIV)

789 nancy sitting in her office with zero on a leash dressed up in a princess leia costume.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 08:39 PM (loM0R)

 

Well done

Posted by: The Jackhole at January 24, 2012 04:40 PM (nTgAI)

790 I would rather watch the live birth of the love child conceived by Secretary of State Clinton and Michael Moore.

Posted by: runningrn at January 24, 2012 08:32 PM (U9Spd)

Hell, I'd rather watch the conception of said child...

Posted by: antisocialist at January 24, 2012 04:41 PM (j/nZn)

791 Greta Van Susteren and Rachel Maddow doing an afterschool special on tampon disposal.

Posted by: sifty at January 24, 2012 04:41 PM (WsOiK)

792 Val Jarrett scrambling madly to find her bag filled with Ogabe's cocaine.  She finds out that little rascal Reggie Love was hiding it from her.  At the last possible moment, Reggie fesses up and returns the bag to Val and JEF is late for yet another speech as he needs the additional time to come off the initial rush.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at January 24, 2012 04:41 PM (WUWb9)

793 "I'd rather watch Barry Soerto and Larry Sinclair spooning post coitus  than the State of the Union."

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 04:41 PM (zgwWv)

794 My own car sliding down a snowy hill in Bountiful UT.

Posted by: hopeychangey at January 24, 2012 04:42 PM (40XUa)

795 Downton Abbey I guess.

Posted by: SarahW at January 24, 2012 04:42 PM (LYwCh)

796 ... a quail flush between me and Dick Cheney...

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 04:42 PM (RzLbD)

797 "I'd rather watch Barry Soerto and Larry Sinclair spooning post coitus than the State of the Union." Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 08:41 PM (zgwWv) the same two recreating eddie murphy's mr.t's scene?

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:42 PM (loM0R)

798 In Russia, SOTU watches YOU!

Posted by: Yakov Smirnoff at January 24, 2012 04:42 PM (sOPIV)

799

 

the Romney's having "family home evening"

 

Posted by: RokShox at January 24, 2012 04:42 PM (pcly4)

800 818 Hey I'm catching up on PBS.org (god strike me dead) right now

Posted by: dagny at January 24, 2012 04:43 PM (w+PM8)

801 "I'd rather watch Richard Gere chasing Valarie Jarret with a roll of duct tape and a piece of tubing than the State of the Union."

(It's a rodent up the ass joke for you morons)

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 04:43 PM (zgwWv)

802 Stargate Universe.

Posted by: blue star at January 24, 2012 04:43 PM (0Pb00)

803 In Russia, SOTU watches YOU!

Posted by: Yakov Smirnoff at January 24, 2012 08:42 PM (sOPIV)

N Korea too!

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:43 PM (h+qn8)

804

i'd rather listen to an endless loop of the "Cars for Kids" radio ad.

the Country version, not the new rock version.

Posted by: Ron Paul is the worst politician ever... except for all the others. at January 24, 2012 04:44 PM (m6OUa)

805 Jimmy Carter monitoring our elections. Oh, and 730 has had me laughing for 15 minutes

Posted by: Ted K. at January 24, 2012 04:44 PM (RvJrH)

806 "I'd rather watch Richard Gere chasing Valarie Jarret with a roll of duct tape and a piece of tubing than the State of the Union." (It's a rodent up the ass joke for you morons) Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 08:43 PM (zgwWv) I see that being more of a me first fight.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 24, 2012 04:44 PM (loM0R)

807 watch, as the stomach churns

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:44 PM (h+qn8)

808 Off the air test patterns

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:45 PM (VMcEw)

809
I'd rather watch Lisa Meerkatski snort lines of Dr. Scholl's Foot Powder from a rancid beaver pelt.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2012 04:45 PM (XCHGh)

810 A marathon of every season Allie McBeal, followed by a playing of Vonda Shephard's Allie McBeal soundtrack, whilst dancing to that goddamn CGI baby.

Posted by: Sean P at January 24, 2012 04:45 PM (M3QBc)

811 sing ,Friday

Posted by: rebecca black at January 24, 2012 04:45 PM (h+qn8)

812 I'd rather watch comments in Comic Sans MS

Posted by: v79c8 at January 24, 2012 04:45 PM (sOPIV)

813 the last half hour of the Battlestar Galactica Series Finale.

Posted by: buzzion at January 24, 2012 04:45 PM (GULKT)

814 _______________ (this blank space)

Posted by: Andy Pandy at January 24, 2012 04:46 PM (nsG8U)

815 Dr. Victoria Zdrok, October 1994 Playmate of the Month, June 2002 Penhouse Pet of the Month, and 2004 Penthouse Pet of the Year, in all of her appearances as the official spokesperson in late night infomercials for Extamax, a male enhancement pill.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 04:46 PM (4q5tP)

816 not in red i hope?

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:46 PM (h+qn8)

817 uhoh

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 04:47 PM (RzLbD)

818 for g-ds sake

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:47 PM (h+qn8)

819 be nice

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:48 PM (h+qn8)

820

Watch the Exlax sponsored sequel:  Battlestar Laxative.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at January 24, 2012 04:48 PM (WUWb9)

821 (Insert liberal politician/pundit here) reenacting One Guy, One Jar.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at January 24, 2012 04:49 PM (je9Ke)

822 clean up an elephants poo.

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:49 PM (h+qn8)

823 yikes

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:49 PM (h+qn8)

824 sigh

Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 24, 2012 04:50 PM (PjVdx)

825 was that?

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:50 PM (h+qn8)

826

 Off the air test patterns.. and...
Emegency alert system turned up loud while washing the dishes and scooping the cat box.

 

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:50 PM (O7ksG)

827 I'd rather watch the asshole(s) intent on wrecking this blog get buttfucked by a 16' Lund with a rusty transom...   On ice.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 04:51 PM (4136b)

828 Star Trek, The Paradise Syndrome, in its original Danish.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 24, 2012 04:51 PM (Br3eE)

829 Al Sharpton saying "resist we much" in a endless loop

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 04:53 PM (VMcEw)

830 Forced viewing of leftwing hollywood's obsessive renditions, re-enactments and mocking of conservatives while reading TIME and Newsweek while painfully constipated on the toilet.

Posted by: sexy hot others at January 24, 2012 04:53 PM (O7ksG)

831 Watch the hair on Moochelle's balls grow.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at January 24, 2012 04:53 PM (WUWb9)

832 I'd rather watch the asshole(s) intent on wrecking this blog get buttfucked by a 16' Lund with a rusty transom... On ice.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 08:51 PM (4136b)

 

On PPV - you'll make a mint

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 04:53 PM (4q5tP)

833 i'd rather, clean under the childrens bed.

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:54 PM (h+qn8)

834 A video on ER procedures for a bowel disimpaction.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 04:55 PM (4q5tP)

835 On PPV - you'll make a mint

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2012 08:53 PM (4q5tP)
.

I'd do it for free.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at January 24, 2012 04:55 PM (4136b)

836 The Miss Universe Full-Burka competition.

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 04:56 PM (RzLbD)

837 "I'd rather watch the Star wars Christmas special in quadrophonic surround sound than the State of the Union."

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 04:56 PM (zgwWv)

838 watch the tykes scroll on the freshly painted walls.

Posted by: willow at January 24, 2012 04:56 PM (h+qn8)

839 The inside of my eyelids

Posted by: MJ at January 24, 2012 04:57 PM (vHvvr)

840 "I'd rather watch someone beat on Ahmadinejad's balls with a big brass hammer until his asshole whistles the Star Spangled Banner than the State of the Union.

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 04:59 PM (zgwWv)

841 I'd rather watch someone beat on Ahmadinejad's balls with a big brass hammer until his asshole whistles the Star Spangled Banner than the State of the Union.

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at January 24, 2012 08:59 PM (zgwWv)

on ice

Posted by: blue star at January 24, 2012 05:00 PM (0Pb00)

842 Watching rust form on I-beams.  Fascinating stuff, and the noise rust makes isn't nearly as irritating as Obama's voice.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 24, 2012 05:01 PM (0I4YH)

843 video of me frantically trying to recall or delete after accidentally commenting to all with a funny little "what the fuck is that ugly cunt talking about" comment meant for my buddy in detroit during the mandatory annual corporate webinar

video of me showing off my killer skillz at drawing giant dicks in tiny pussies in a whiteboard during a webinar not realizing i clicked "share screen with all" 

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 05:01 PM (LCZ3l)

844 Hey, is anyone hiring out there?

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at January 24, 2012 05:01 PM (LCZ3l)

845 my bottle get empty and the room get wobbly

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 05:02 PM (RzLbD)

846 Helen Thomas
Janet Reno

Jello pit wrestling.

Nuff said.

Posted by: Captain Francesco Schettino at January 24, 2012 05:04 PM (gT3jF)

847 "I'd rather watch two week old episodes of RedEye on Hulu than the State of the Union."

Posted by: ABouts at January 24, 2012 05:05 PM (BQvS5)

848 Mike Tyson as Henry V

Posted by: Andy Pandy at January 24, 2012 05:06 PM (nsG8U)

849 Russian pirated videos, of very poor quality

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 05:06 PM (VMcEw)

850 872 Russian pirated videos, of very poor quality

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2012 09:06 PM (VMcEw)


Redundant.

Posted by: CausticConservative at January 24, 2012 05:07 PM (gT3jF)

851 My favorite wad #1 Pelosi on DWS. But I am confused, is DWS a pre or post op tranny?

Posted by: Avi at January 24, 2012 05:07 PM (aqEUB)

852 Michelle Obama tearing live chicken heads off with her teeth

Posted by: dagny at January 24, 2012 05:08 PM (w+PM8)

853 "".video every person that ever played more than one bar of'Stairway to Heaven' in a guitar shop, back to back.""



shit man, now thats horror.

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 05:08 PM (FMbng)

854 Roger daltry sing at the super bowl

Posted by: Avi at January 24, 2012 05:08 PM (aqEUB)

855 Tranny dwarf foot fetish pron has it all over Obama.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 24, 2012 05:09 PM (0I4YH)

856 Cupcake Wars!

Posted by: Jimbo at January 24, 2012 05:10 PM (O3R/2)

857 ...Fran Drescher selling timeshares...

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 05:10 PM (RzLbD)

858 Ron Paul-bots explaining the virtues of Iran's energy independence program.

Posted by: Andy Pandy at January 24, 2012 05:11 PM (nsG8U)

859 Chuckie Schumer singing Dixie

Posted by: dagny at January 24, 2012 05:11 PM (w+PM8)

860 Listening to Dennis Prager's appearance on Adam Carolla while catching up on internet reading outweighs any masochistic urge to watch the address.

Posted by: derit at January 24, 2012 05:13 PM (FQlFL)

861 ''Michelle Obama tearing live chicken heads off with her teeth""


I'll raise you one Rosie ODonnel snapping the heads off in the crack of her ass.

Posted by: Berserker at January 24, 2012 05:14 PM (FMbng)

862 ...the  WNBA ...

Posted by: right at January 24, 2012 05:15 PM (RzLbD)

863 Watch David Crosby pick his but then eat pizza.

Posted by: Matt at January 24, 2012 05:17 PM (1ha9G)

864 The entire 3 hours it takes to apply MO's makeup

Posted by: abu Daniel at January 24, 2012 05:17 PM (RjOP+)

865 West Side Story performed by mimes wrapped in some of Cristo's plastic sheeting.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 24, 2012 05:21 PM (0I4YH)

866 ....I'd rather stare down into a pit toilet and watch a roiling sea of maggots.

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 24, 2012 05:25 PM (ULADD)

867 Watch naked libtard couples mud wrestling. In this ring, Napolitano & Frank vs. Wrangle & Pelosi!!

Posted by: Guido at January 24, 2012 05:29 PM (T6M2K)

868 My ex giving birth to my beautiful daughter (now 34) as she digs rivers of blood in both my arms from the elbow to the wrist...as she tells me I'll NEVER touch her again EVER (you dirty so and so you).

She was right, she never DID let me touch her again......and never had any more children.  I'm much better now.....you can hardly even see the scars anymore!

Posted by: oldman at January 24, 2012 05:29 PM (myYbj)

869 my own vasectomy performed by a baboon with pliers, a pizza cutter, and a rusty menorah

Posted by: IronFox at January 24, 2012 05:32 PM (kEUZe)

870 Helen Thomas and Rosie O'Donnell scissoring in a maternity ward.

Posted by: eman at January 24, 2012 05:36 PM (g08ab)

871 164 HURHURHUR I JUST SHIT MYSELF.

Posted by: Clarence at January 24, 2012 07:15 PM (z0HdK)

That would be a super recursive moment! Feces defecating defacate.

Posted by: KellyFromMesquite at January 24, 2012 05:42 PM (FLFli)

872 Once again breitbart is proven correct.the comments are even better than theposts.

Posted by: abu Daniel at January 24, 2012 05:43 PM (RjOP+)

873 A veterinarian walking Sarah Jessica Parker in a circle.

Posted by: eman at January 24, 2012 05:43 PM (g08ab)

874 Easy. The answer is... ANYTHING

Posted by: deadrody at January 24, 2012 05:48 PM (eOvu0)

875

I'd rather watch Rachel Maddow fish out a missing dental dam.

Ahem! That wasn't a dental dam and I'm sorry to say that yawning chasm wasn't her mouth.

Posted by: KellyFromMesquite at January 24, 2012 05:49 PM (FLFli)

876 I'd rather watch a Nancy
Pelosi kabuki bukkake fest in 3-D at
1080 HD.

Give me some notice, would ya!?
That'll take me hours to set up!

Posted by: cortezoid at January 24, 2012 05:57 PM (rKjYz)

877 I'd rather watch guys processing bio-hazard waste for disposal.
I AM watching that:  Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, on Discovery.


Posted by: tantelin at January 24, 2012 05:58 PM (ixKn7)

878 The Danny Thomas plate job, in reverse slow motion.

Posted by: Randall Hoven at January 24, 2012 06:00 PM (E1oQ0)

879 Michael Moore eat.

Posted by: eujo at January 24, 2012 06:19 PM (BW3xJ)

880 "I'd rather watch put needles go into my eyes than the State of the Union."

Posted by: Jared Loughner at January 24, 2012 06:24 PM (e8kgV)

881 It won't be his last SOTU if I can help it!

Posted by: Mitt is the Shit! at January 24, 2012 06:24 PM (XeyG5)

882 Chris Christie in a donut eating contest.

Update:  Did not realize that Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin were the 2 judges.  Ann exclaimed as soon as the cameras rolled that she was the "chief judge".  Sarah giggled, threw a right hook and .....................Ann is down! ......................Ann is down!

Oh my, Mitt Romney is the alternate judge and he declares Chris Christie the winner even before the contest begins.  Rosie, Michael and Al all protest as they haven't yet begun to eat.  Sarah giggled .............stay tuned.

Is the speech over yet?

Posted by: currently at January 24, 2012 06:32 PM (flA6l)

883 Wagner's Der Ring des Niebelungen.

All 18 hours.

In German.

Without subtitles.

Twice.

Posted by: Brown Line at January 24, 2012 06:39 PM (Yl+WU)

Posted by: andycanuck at January 24, 2012 07:03 PM (sHY5w)

885 A Tom Hanks film

Posted by: David Duke at January 24, 2012 07:07 PM (ScD5a)

886 eman, re SJP - that is a great visual!

Posted by: David Duke at January 24, 2012 07:08 PM (ScD5a)

887 I'd rather hear a speech from an honest Democrat, but Scoop Jackson has been dead for 29 years.  I didn't agree with some of his minor positions but on the important ones he was right and stood his ground when the new left began to infest the party.  He was supremely honest and he treated his opponents with the utmost respect. 

Posted by: Greg at January 24, 2012 07:36 PM (ReF/l)

888 The dog shit scene in Pink Flamingos over and over and....

Posted by: Divine at January 24, 2012 08:31 PM (M/qsV)

889

No-2008 Election Coverage is still too painful to thiink of, it is much worse than I expected.  I liked Zell Miller's 2004 NRC Speech. I stayed at work and listened for a second time, to Mark Steyn host Rush's show today. 

I wonder what happened to Zell Miller?  I will have to do a bing search of him.  Google is going to keep all user data etc. 

Posted by: CarolT at January 24, 2012 08:32 PM (z4WKX)

890 Anthony Wiener texting me. Actually, what's the difference? Either way I'm fucked.

Posted by: Matt at January 24, 2012 08:44 PM (1ha9G)

891 A re-run of the 1979 Alabama/LSU football game.  Alabama 3, LSU 0.  Still better than watching O'bummers speech.

Posted by: Case at January 24, 2012 11:03 PM (FD6YW)

892 I'd rather watch The Vagina Monologues.

Posted by: Some guy you don't know in Wisconsin at January 24, 2012 11:26 PM (+xMVg)

893 Damn, someone already mentioned it.... 

Posted by: Some guy you don't know in Wisconsin at January 24, 2012 11:27 PM (+xMVg)

894 Performance artists miming "Brokeback Mountain"....the muscial, in kilts and pooka shell necklaces.

Posted by: Case at January 24, 2012 11:45 PM (DYR2Q)

895 I'd rather watch weasels rip my flesh than the State of the Union.

Posted by: Buddha at January 25, 2012 03:14 AM (8NlUk)

896 The best of PC Matic commercials with featuring Joe Wuss' expression when his wife takes the car keys and goes and gets laid.

Posted by: Libra at January 25, 2012 04:59 AM (kd8U8)

897 I'd rather watch an 18 hour, non stop loop of You Tube videos involving popping MRSA zits.........

Posted by: jasonj at January 25, 2012 05:49 AM (Cq0ow)

898 Michael Moore in a straitjacket with a Hershey bar taped to his forehead.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 25, 2012 06:32 AM (iAUf+)

899 I'd rather watch Mr. Gower drink the poison he put in the medicine, and watch Clarence the Angel in a threesome with Uncle Billy and Mr. Potter.

Posted by: George Bailey at January 25, 2012 06:37 AM (WuRdj)

900 I'd rater see every piece of my childhood raped with endless remakes... oh wait, that's already happened.

Posted by: Cato at January 25, 2012 08:17 AM (VLY2N)

901 I'd rather see Hannibal Lecter as President.  At least the guy had *style.* 

And he really knew how to cook.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at January 25, 2012 09:06 AM (WuRdj)

902 Girls

Posted by: George Mills at January 25, 2012 05:21 PM (JVfxV)

903 I read every damn one of those and did not watch the scoamf.

Posted by: EROWMER at January 25, 2012 06:04 PM (sIm3i)

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