June 12, 2012
— andy [Potential anger-evoking "nooner" quip redacted to enhance your calm]
Posted by: andy at
07:55 AM
| Comments (179)
Post contains 6 words, total size 1 kb.
I wonder if Ace needs an intervention.
Posted by: EC at June 12, 2012 07:57 AM (GQ8sn)
So, how long until Holder gets tossed under the Obama bus? He's held on much longer than anyone else would have.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at June 12, 2012 07:57 AM (4df7R)
hair of the dog and get typing!
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 12, 2012 07:57 AM (f9c2L)
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 07:57 AM (iYbLN)
Actually, I can't throw Holder under the bus. He knows too much.
And besides, attacks against Holder are raaacist!
Posted by: Barack Obama at June 12, 2012 07:58 AM (wUFaM)
Just adding a new verse to my ongoing "Ode to Lizzy Warren":
Lizzy Warren has a nack
For misreporting simple facts.
So when misconduct reared its head,
Lizzy Warren turned and fled!
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at June 12, 2012 07:58 AM (4df7R)
Nooner-nooner!
I knew that the first thing was just a tease. It'll never happen until the heat death of the universe, and I am the only undecayed proton left.
Posted by: West at June 12, 2012 07:58 AM (1Rgee)
Posted by: eurw at June 12, 2012 07:59 AM (jQUX6)
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Should this worry me?
Posted by: Uncledave at June 12, 2012 07:59 AM (nJ32z)
Won't happen anytime soon. The MBM still has his back and are not publicizing F&F as if it were a real live scandal.
Posted by: CUS at June 12, 2012 07:59 AM (84pE9)
Posted by: Honey Badger at June 12, 2012 07:59 AM (GvYeG)
Posted by: blogforce one at June 12, 2012 07:59 AM (7cXfH)
Posted by: The Robot Devil at June 12, 2012 07:59 AM (36MVE)
Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at June 12, 2012 08:00 AM (gPDxp)
***
My suspicion is that the reason that Holder won't turn over the subpoenaed documents si the same reason that Holder hasn't been kicked to the curb. The documents show that the 'Bamster was behind this from the beginning and the 'Bamster is worried that if Holder starts seeing bus wheels coming, Holder will soill the beans with document corroboration.
Posted by: WalrusRex at June 12, 2012 08:00 AM (Hx5uv)
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 11:57 AM (iYbLN)
So very true.
Obama 2012: Chicago Style Politics for Another Four Years!
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at June 12, 2012 08:00 AM (4df7R)
That really pisses me off.
Posted by: eleven at June 12, 2012 08:00 AM (KXm42)
Oh Gawd...Chucky Schumer. What a putz.
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:01 AM (iYbLN)
19 Holder was have "something" on Obama, otherwise, he would have been road-kill.
==================
on holder? or on jarrett??
Posted by: eurw at June 12, 2012 08:01 AM (jQUX6)
I don't think FF will take him down - because I can't believe he hasn't resigned out of sheer embarrassment by now. He cannot be shamed.
You know what might? The leaks.
Feinstein is pissed and she is taken more seriously by the wider Senate than Leahy is, and Holder has demonstrated he's not serious about anything that reflects poorly on Teh Won.
Which means you can expect the "investigation" to remain inside quotation marks when it's finally completed. Which will only piss off Feinstein even more.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 12, 2012 08:02 AM (sbV1u)
Posted by: runninrebel at June 12, 2012 08:03 AM (yYP7f)
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at June 12, 2012 08:03 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: willow at June 12, 2012 08:03 AM (TomZ9)
Posted by: Hrothgar at June 12, 2012 08:03 AM (rI5Q7)
Neice Cameron graduated today! Driving back from Baltimore now. My msg for all grads is the same: ignore folks who try to limit you.
nice spelling scrunt. go ahead and abuse her.
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:04 AM (WCAIB)
That really pisses me off.
Posted by: eleven>>
Dammit! I knew I should have read comments first! but I had to breathlessly get mine in because I was convinced I was being original and clever!
Now I'm extra angry!
Posted by: Sgt. York at June 12, 2012 08:04 AM (pqW4Y)
Posted by: And Irresolute at June 12, 2012 08:05 AM (RC3M9)
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:05 AM (WCAIB)
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Should this worry me?
Posted by: Uncledave at June 12, 2012 11:59 AM (nJ32z)
It should. You need to move closer to the server, because the electrons are slowing down before they get to you. You also seem to be "losing records". Also, increase the size of your text, because your page size is too small.
Processing 0.0, elapsed 0.0086 seconds.
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Posted by: jwb7605 enhancing his calm at June 12, 2012 08:06 AM (Qxe/p)
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at June 12, 2012 08:06 AM (4df7R)
You're not John Spartan, I understood every word you said.
Posted by: Sgt. York at June 12, 2012 08:06 AM (pqW4Y)
Atkins?
You use KetoStrips to actually track that?
Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 12, 2012 08:07 AM (sbV1u)
Posted by: FUBAR at June 12, 2012 08:08 AM (mdhVr)
Posted by: Sgt. York at June 12, 2012 08:08 AM (pqW4Y)
Starbucks is opening a restaurant but a five minute walk to a Safeway you can fill up on more Starbucks.
Posted by: YIKES! at June 12, 2012 08:08 AM (tXEHy)
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:08 AM (WCAIB)
Posted by: runninrebel at June 12, 2012 08:08 AM (yYP7f)
From previous-previous thread.
**
http://tinyurl.com/liberalsruineditall
Posted by: pforeman at June 12, 2012 11:51 AM (F3vJT)
**
That was part 1...there gonna need a bigger internets-webs.
Posted by: dananjcon at June 12, 2012 08:08 AM (eavT+)
Posted by: WalrusRex at June 12, 2012 08:09 AM (Hx5uv)
Posted by: proudvastrightwingconspirator at June 12, 2012 08:10 AM (hyRD4)
Posted by: Peggy Noonan at June 12, 2012 08:11 AM (RQDhf)
Posted by: And Irresolute at June 12, 2012 08:11 AM (RC3M9)
Posted by: dananjcon at June 12, 2012 08:11 AM (eavT+)
But I have a NASTY case of PMS which is making me reel from tears to bitching to fury so that hormone extravaganza might be interfering. Oh, and my poor husband needs a medal but my moneygrubbing kids can suck it (just the big ones, the little one is an angel.) Fuckers.
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:11 AM (WCAIB)
Posted by: eleven at June 12, 2012 08:12 AM (KXm42)
Neice Cameron graduated today! Driving back from Baltimore now. My msg
for all grads is the same: ignore folks who try to limit you.
nice spelling scrunt. go ahead and abuse her.
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 12:04 PM (WCAIB)
so i guess she is being honest for once about people she hangs out with, yes ignore those that think you can't even support your condom needs, or Do much of anything without sugar daddy's help.
because we know 'niece' is totally helpless.
Posted by: willow at June 12, 2012 08:12 AM (TomZ9)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 12, 2012 08:12 AM (RZ8pf)
She was the tall skinny one with the big hair.
Posted by: CUS at June 12, 2012 08:12 AM (84pE9)
Posted by: eleven at June 12, 2012 08:13 AM (KXm42)
And by "folks", she means Republicans who don't want to pay for your birth control pills.
Posted by: Andy at June 12, 2012 08:13 AM (5Rurq)
Posted by: runninrebel at June 12, 2012 12:08 PM (yYP7f)
Huh?? Really. I do this regularly so maybe I've surpassed the headache? I don't have anymore strips and I'm too angry today to get any.
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:13 AM (WCAIB)
Posted by: model_1066 at June 12, 2012 08:14 AM (YbQJm)
I'm looking forward to the day the United States tosses Obama under the bus.
Posted by: Mr_Write at June 12, 2012 08:14 AM (CLkAH)
Posted by: Peggy *hiccup *burp Noonan at June 12, 2012 08:14 AM (HOOye)
I'll be dropping a case of Valu-Rite at your front door today. VERY quietly.
Please don't eat me.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 12, 2012 08:14 AM (sbV1u)
He'll just have to provide a safe place to land and an automatic pardon in advance.
Unless, of course, he's got more on Holder than vice versa.
THAT'S the Chicago Way.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger and all that at June 12, 2012 08:14 AM (CP+yl)
Posted by: joncelli, heartless con and all-around unpleasant guy at June 12, 2012 08:14 AM (RD7QR)
Posted by: Reggie Love at June 12, 2012 08:15 AM (1grxW)
Did I ever tell you that you're my hero?
Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 12, 2012 08:15 AM (sbV1u)
Posted by: dagny
I sympathize dagny. I remember those days, they were awful.
A partial hysterectomy fixed that problem when I turned 40. Thank you to my surgeon. Now the insanity of menopause is upon me!!!
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:15 AM (iYbLN)
Posted by: awww at June 12, 2012 08:15 AM (HOOye)
It's a long standing joke in DC that the most dangerous place to be is between Chuck Schumer and a TV camera
Posted by: kbdabear at June 12, 2012 08:16 AM (Y+DPZ)
what are the strips, or stix? you mean there's something that will make the no carb headache go away?
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 12, 2012 08:16 AM (RZ8pf)
Get the carb free stuff
When the Miami cannibal seems sensible, you know your PMS is out of control.
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:17 AM (WCAIB)
Posted by: awww at June 12, 2012 08:17 AM (HOOye)
Posted by: The Robot Devil at June 12, 2012 11:59 AM (36MVE)
FBI works for the Justice Department. FBI holds the background records on many politicians... and are in charge of cases of Federal Identity Theft.... like... Social Security Numbers?
Posted by: Romeo13 at June 12, 2012 08:18 AM (lZBBB)
Is it safe to come out now? I guess I should comment before the registration happens, just in case I'm judged not worthy. Really behind on my hobo quota...
For those who asked questions of me on the Sunday Book Thread, yes, a sequel to Last Mage Guardian is planned. No idea when it will emerge yet. The second book in the SF series, Raven's Children, will be out on Amazon in early July, or you can be adventurous and get the ARC from my online store now (hint hint). I just got the art for the third book so that ARC will be up soon too!
Thanks to all who have mentioned enjoying my books!
Posted by: Sabrina Chase at June 12, 2012 08:18 AM (65lpa)
Posted by: dagny
During bouts of PMS you could tell where I was by following the chunks of human flesh on the ground. Anyone who crossed my path was immediately eaten.
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:18 AM (iYbLN)
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:19 AM (WCAIB)
kidz...they think they invent everything.
Posted by: ee cummings at June 12, 2012 08:19 AM (sbV1u)
"what are the strips, or stix? you mean there's something that will make the no carb headache go away? "
The sticks they are talking about are pee-strips that will tell you how far into ketosis you are.
Sticks that will make the headaches go away are called "breadsticks." They are abundantly available at the nearest Olive Garden, with salad, for $6.
Posted by: reason at June 12, 2012 08:19 AM (CGjum)
What do you call it the rest of the month?
[Ducks, runs for cover and begs forgiveness]
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 12, 2012 08:19 AM (nEUpB)
Posted by: Lauren at June 12, 2012 08:19 AM (hNLFW)
Posted by: there's only a few peas in that corrupt pod at June 12, 2012 08:20 AM (HOOye)
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:21 AM (WCAIB)
We got plenty of 'em here!
Posted by: Richie Daley and His All Chicago Orchestra at June 12, 2012 08:21 AM (sbV1u)
ROFLMAO
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:21 AM (iYbLN)
Posted by: Ammo Dump at June 12, 2012 08:22 AM (YYyqq)
Posted by: momma at June 12, 2012 08:22 AM (lEJ+I)
I'm a horrific speller. You all know this after all these years. Then again, I'm just a lil ol kuntry bumkin that gradjummikated from a State skool.
Posted by: laceyunderalls at June 12, 2012 08:22 AM (pLTLS)
Posted by: momma at June 12, 2012 08:22 AM (lEJ+I)
Posted by: FUBAR at June 12, 2012 08:22 AM (mdhVr)
Luckily that does not make me angry. Ace wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Posted by: Wilfred B. E. Bixby III at June 12, 2012 08:22 AM (RzLbD)
Posted by: there's only a few peas in that corrupt pod at June 12, 2012 08:23 AM (HOOye)
Hey! Hey! Show no weakness! Now get back in there and stand up for yourself!!
I'll be right behind you, and I'll fight to the last drop of your blood.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 12, 2012 08:23 AM (sbV1u)
Posted by: Honey Badger at June 12, 2012 11:59 AM (GvYeG)
I'm not.....fuckin' assholes.
Posted by: Tierra del Fuego at June 12, 2012 08:23 AM (+Zc/S)
Posted by: The littl shyning man at June 12, 2012 08:24 AM (PH+2B)
Charles Rangel, William Jefferson and Alcee Hastings never tried to cover up murders, so they're kinda pikers when it comes to durability and denseness tests.
Posted by: RoyalOil at June 12, 2012 08:24 AM (kSaUf)
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Should this worry me?
Only if it persists for longer than four hours.
Posted by: Sticky Wicket at June 12, 2012 08:24 AM (L7hol)
Neice Cameron graduated today! Driving back from Baltimore now. My msg for all grads is the same: ignore folks who try to limit you.
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 12:04 PM
Limit how, by trying to answer one of her idiot questions while she shouts over you and smirks?
Posted by: kbdabear at June 12, 2012 08:26 AM (Y+DPZ)
Posted by: dagny at June 12, 2012 08:26 AM (WCAIB)
Posted by: runninrebel at June 12, 2012 08:27 AM (yYP7f)
Gah, now i don't know what it was and that fills me with raaaaaagggeeee!!!!!!11!!11
Or maybe i just have gas, yeah, probably just gassy.
Posted by: booger at June 12, 2012 08:27 AM (HI6wa)
Posted by: joncelli, heartless con and all-around unpleasant guy at June 12, 2012 08:27 AM (RD7QR)
During PMS I could drink massive amounts of hard liquor and not get buzzed and plow through pizzas without coming up for air. My husband would watch me with a look of admiration and horror on his face.
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:27 AM (iYbLN)
Discuss.
***
I think "barak" is Arabic for "after election, toast."
Posted by: WalrusRex at June 12, 2012 08:27 AM (Hx5uv)
Posted by: momma at June 12, 2012 12:22 PM (lEJ+I)
Fuel Injection?
Hell, I don't know.....
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC at June 12, 2012 08:27 AM (+Zc/S)
Or maybe i just have gas, yeah, probably just gassy.
Posted by: booger
Do us all a favor and leave the room please.
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:28 AM (iYbLN)
Posted by: WalrusRex at June 12, 2012 12:27 PM (Hx5uv)
Swahili for "man-child wears no clothes."
Hey lacey.
Posted by: FUBAR at June 12, 2012 08:29 AM (mdhVr)
So if everyone is exempt from sanctions against Iran... ummm .... WTF?
That sound? Just the IAF topping off their drop tanks.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 12, 2012 08:29 AM (B+qrE)
@98 - with luck, they'll be thinking about those soft, chewy, warm breadsticks for the rest of the day, unable to get the soft allure of their light Parmesan kiss out of their mind...
*evil genius laugh*
Posted by: reason at June 12, 2012 08:29 AM (CGjum)
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at June 12, 2012 08:29 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: Lauren at June 12, 2012 08:29 AM (hNLFW)
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:29 AM (iYbLN)
It means lightning in Hebrew.
So...Obama is sort of like a flash in the pan?
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 12, 2012 08:30 AM (nEUpB)
Posted by: jwpaine at June 12, 2012 08:30 AM (FUozQ)
Posted by: Vic at June 12, 2012 08:31 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: runninrebel at June 12, 2012 08:31 AM (yYP7f)
That's strange, he usually doesn't take off the liberal diaper and put on conservative man pants till the actual year he needs to be re-elected. He is not scheduled to pretend to have a spine till 2014.
Posted by: Bob Saget at June 12, 2012 08:31 AM (SDkq3)
So is this "Let's ask Holder to talk about meaningless shit" Day on Capitol Hill?>
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at June 12, 2012 08:31 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: joncelli, heartless con and all-around unpleasant guy at June 12, 2012 08:31 AM (RD7QR)
There, fixed it for her.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 12, 2012 08:32 AM (sbV1u)
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC at June 12, 2012 08:33 AM (+Zc/S)
But, yeah, Dagny, if your hormone status is causing stress then you could also be producing a lot of cortisol, which will reduce insulin sensitivity and keep you out of ketosis.
I'm pretty sure the new anger rules also included "no biochemistry on Tuesdays."
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 12, 2012 08:34 AM (B+qrE)
Oh man. Want some really bad news? I've read that it can last up to five years.
Five. Fucking. Years.
Posted by: jwpaine at June 12, 2012 08:35 AM (FUozQ)
@63 "I just tweeted her. I BEFORE E EXCEPT AFTER C."
Should have read: "I BEFORE E EXCEPT AFTER C., YOU PROPAGANDIST SCRUNT"
Please make a note of it for next time. Kthxbai!
Posted by: Jaws at June 12, 2012 08:35 AM (4I3Uo)
Posted by: cafe meetings that don't need to be recorded... at June 12, 2012 08:35 AM (HOOye)
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:36 AM (iYbLN)
Posted by: eleven at June 12, 2012 08:37 AM (KXm42)
Posted by: pforeman at June 12, 2012 08:37 AM (F3vJT)
Posted by: The Robot Devil at June 12, 2012 08:39 AM (36MVE)
I'm pretty disgusted. Why don't they use the campaign slogan "Vote For Me, My Boss Got Shot!" or "Vote For Me I Got Shot!"
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:41 AM (iYbLN)
Yes, sometimes I'm smarter than other times.
Posted by: jwpaine at June 12, 2012 08:41 AM (FUozQ)
It's a longstanding joke in DC that the most dangerous place to be is betweejn Chuck Schumer and a TV camera.
Or Sandy Fluke and an empty bed.
Yeah, I got nothing.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Clitoris at June 12, 2012 08:42 AM (zF6Iw)
Which universe are we in today?
The one where the Inverse Square Law for propagation of waveforms no longer applies?
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at June 12, 2012 08:42 AM (TJWQY)
Ahem, if we're going to indulge in bigotry we'd prefer you go all in.
That's dirty, mackerel-snapping papists to you.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 12, 2012 08:43 AM (sbV1u)
Posted by: pforeman at June 12, 2012 08:43 AM (F3vJT)
I wonder if there is a correlation between the onset, and divorce?
I am not in any danger of going that route myself, but I sometimes wonder about the overall impact on marriages.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at June 12, 2012 08:43 AM (YmOnd)
May Obama Barack Hussein the Merciful pardon your infidel iniquities and extend your unemployment insurance for 1,000 days.
Posted by: Sphynx at June 12, 2012 08:43 AM (fEmj2)
Then you wake up one day and the flowers are blooming, birds are singing, the sun is shining and she is standing over you with an axe.
Tell me about it.
Posted by: Andrew Borden at June 12, 2012 08:44 AM (zF6Iw)
Posted by: nickless at June 12, 2012 08:44 AM (MMC8r)
Posted by: runninrebel at June 12, 2012 08:45 AM (yYP7f)
So you become a frat boy?
Posted by: Alex at June 12, 2012 08:46 AM (sy0Uv)
May the Black Prince, Obama Barack Hussein, perfect his rule over the coming Socialist Workers Paradise.
Posted by: Sphynx at June 12, 2012 08:46 AM (fEmj2)
Yeah, I think we covered that on a thread once and wound up at the singularity:
"Whiter than Pat Boone"
Posted by: eleven at June 12, 2012 08:46 AM (KXm42)
Is anyone else disgusted by the way Gabby Giffords is being used by the party (or allowing herself to be used) for this special election?
Nothing - literally, nothing disgusts me when it comes to Democrats. I expect no decency from them. Anyway, how do you know Giffords isn't completely on board with the whole St Gabby of the Teatard Persecution show? I expect congressroaches to cling on to their offices like goddamn limpet mines; I certainly don't expect her to be any different.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Clitoris at June 12, 2012 08:48 AM (zF6Iw)
I'm really hoping it's the first one. Really, really hoping...
Posted by: jwpaine at June 12, 2012 08:48 AM (FUozQ)
May the Protector of Bureaucrats and Champion of Welfare Cheats, Sheikh Obama Barack Hussein, be blessed with 100,000 goats and 200,000 tokes.
Posted by: Sphynx at June 12, 2012 08:50 AM (fEmj2)
Posted by: jwpaine at June 12, 2012 08:52 AM (FUozQ)
buzzed and plow through pizzas without coming up for air. My husband
would watch me with a look of admiration and horror on his face.
So you become a frat boy?
Posted by: Alex
That about sums it up.
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 08:56 AM (iYbLN)
Funny, but in my case, untrue. My wife still looks great. It's just this weird unpredictable reverse-stepfordization thing she's got going on right now.
And she was never very stepfordish in the first place.
Posted by: jwpaine at June 12, 2012 09:00 AM (FUozQ)
Class Act: Pro-Obama ABC Host Robin Roberts Says Ann Romney Privately Called Her Same Day She Announced She Was Diagnosed With MDSÂ…
Link to WZ: http://tiny.cc/cpusfw
But, you know, Ann Romney's a lazy succubus or something.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at June 12, 2012 09:06 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: Sherlock at June 12, 2012 09:26 AM (f29LO)
BREAKING: This just in for all you bacon-devouring moronic ewoks:
Burger KIng to Offer Bacon-Flavored Sundae as "Summer Treat":
WooooooHoooooo!
Posted by: SFC MAC at June 12, 2012 12:26 PM (rHBw+)
Posted by: The Political Hat at June 12, 2012 12:31 PM (XvHmy)
I'm really hoping it's the first one. Really, really hoping...
Posted by: jwpaine at June 12, 2012 12:48 PM (FUozQ)
Here's your answer:
if (typeof YAHOO == "undefined") { var YAHOO = {}; } YAHOO.Shortcuts = YAHOO.Shortcuts || {}; YAHOO.Shortcuts.doUlt = false; YAHOO.Shortcuts.location = "us"; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_id = 0; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_type = ""; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_title = "Alwaysþ"; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_publish_date = ""; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_author = "sfcmac1957@yahoo.com"; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_url = ""; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_tags = ""; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_language = "en"; YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_numTokens = "709"; YAHOO.Shortcuts.version = "3.3.0"; YAHOO.Shortcuts.annotationSet = { }; YAHOO.Shortcuts.annotationSetID = "39edc0ea63695acb393895744aa6d3f3";This is an actual letter from a TX woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. It's PC Magazine's 2007 Editors' Choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features.
Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.
I can tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body.. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'
Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and a bout our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything ' happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out of your ass man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Posted by: SFC MAC at June 12, 2012 12:33 PM (rHBw+)
Repost, because AceÂ’s format sucks:
This is an actual letter from a TX woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. ItÂ’s PC MagazineÂ’s 2007 EditorsÂ’ Choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features.
Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, IÂ’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and IÂ’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.
I can tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing thereÂ’s a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body.. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’
IsnÂ’t the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer’s monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and a bout our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’
Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything ‘ happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out of your ass man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or
‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And thatÂ’s a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
Posted by: SFC MAC at June 12, 2012 12:35 PM (rHBw+)
Posted by: steevy at June 12, 2012 02:37 PM (Xb3hu)
Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 12:36 PM (iYbLN)
Oh, Sweet Death.
Posted by: Jim Bouton at June 12, 2012 06:15 PM (RLMC6)
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Posted by: mpfs at June 12, 2012 07:56 AM (iYbLN)