Ace of Spades HQ

October 23, 2012

Obama's Fundraising-Stalker Emails Turn From Creepy To Despondant
— Ace

You know, if I were doing this, my PS would be "I can't wait to meet you in our victory party in Chicago on Election Night."

Instead, it's...

P.S. Â— I donÂ’t know what Election Night will hold, but IÂ’d like you to be a part of the event here in Chicago. Any donation you make today automatically enters you for a chance to meet me Â— airfare and hotel for you and a guest are covered.

...which I translate as "It's going to be a grim affair, grim and horrible and just sad, but there'll be lots of alcohol."

Posted by: Ace at 03:18 PM | Comments (111)
Post contains 123 words, total size 1 kb.

heh, screw him

and first

Posted by: navycopjoe has an iphone5 and you don't at October 23, 2012 03:19 PM (xsTuT)

2 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted by: DangerGirl (@deadlyestrogen) at October 23, 2012 03:19 PM (GrtrJ)

3 ....bringin' teh suk!!!

Posted by: TEH WON at October 23, 2012 03:19 PM (CfGGV)

4 Despondent. With an "e".

Posted by: andrew at October 23, 2012 03:20 PM (65QIv)

5 Pathetic.

Posted by: Witchfinder at October 23, 2012 03:20 PM (pLTLS)

6 But still creepy, though.

Posted by: wheatie at October 23, 2012 03:20 PM (ipkPX)

7 He was sooo looking forward to being flexible with Vladimir.

Posted by: wheatie at October 23, 2012 03:21 PM (ipkPX)

8 I want to nut on Gloria Allred's face.

Posted by: Ron Jeremy's fading libido at October 23, 2012 03:22 PM (3niml)

9 I honestly don't know what to say.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at October 23, 2012 03:22 PM (ndlFj)

10 How can we miss you if you won't go away?

Posted by: fluffy at October 23, 2012 03:22 PM (3SvjA)

11 from Althouse:

"Ann -- I don't want to lose this election."

Not because of what losing would mean for me -- Michelle and I will be fine no matter what happens.

Okay. Be careful. You know the reason many of us women feel inclined to stick with you is because we don't want you to have to feel bad. We don't want to hurt your feelings. We don't want you to think that we didn't think you were good enough.

But if it's all the same to you... well, then...

It's like your boyfriend is saying to you he could stay or go, it's all the same to him, but he doesn't want to hurt you. What girl doesn't say then get out so I can have someone with passion for this job?

Posted by: mallfly at October 23, 2012 03:22 PM (bJm7W)

12 Too bad the totally non-partisan media isn't there to buoy him up: http://tinyurl.com/9y3glob

Posted by: HtP at October 23, 2012 03:23 PM (jx2j9)

13 i don't like watching people lose. in sports, business, whatever. not my thing. this guy-- i will relish every second watching him election night. and his husband barack too.

Posted by: Morgan at October 23, 2012 03:23 PM (pstA3)

14 wish it had kept the formatting, though.

Posted by: mallfly at October 23, 2012 03:23 PM (bJm7W)

15 Anyone remember Dana Carvey doing GHW Bush? "I don't wanna be a one-termer..."

Posted by: moviegique at October 23, 2012 03:23 PM (Cepxj)

16 Barky, we're just not that into you.

Posted by: America at October 23, 2012 03:23 PM (jKE+Z)

17 Where has all the Hope gone? Oh well, at least we still have change. Soon.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 03:23 PM (lddO4)

18 "It's going to be a grim affair, grim and horrible and just sad, but there'll be lots of alcohol."

So it's the ONT?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Coming soon. at October 23, 2012 03:23 PM (Gk3SS)

19 Obama below 57% on InTrade now.

And the "chance Obama will win the election" and "chance Obama will win Ohio" numbers of coalescing now. I never understood the split between them.

Posted by: longerthoughts at October 23, 2012 03:24 PM (CVVLU)

20 16 It's not us. It's you.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 03:24 PM (lddO4)

21 Hillbuzz (yeah, I know) had a piece where they're starting to tie it all together. Team Obama hasn't applied for a permit to Grant Park to hold his victory rally 2.0. Instead they booked something at a convention center on election night.

Like Fluke's pep-rally last weekend it will be an 'intimate gathering'.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at October 23, 2012 03:24 PM (gR77P)

22 i actually used to occasionally like althouse, until her "it's ugly" joke of an observation.

Posted by: Morgan at October 23, 2012 03:24 PM (pstA3)

23 Almost worth donating to get a chance to be there to.laugh in his face. Almost.

Posted by: Lauren at October 23, 2012 03:24 PM (wsGWu)

24 It's a tough line. I think the strategy is to scare people. Try to frighten them out of the apathy. The problem, of course, is that they're apathetic for a reason. They're not motivated to go out and vote because they're not sure if they care if you lose or not. So threatening them with your loss may not be all that much motivation. Man, it must suck to be behind and the momentum is going AWAY from you.

Posted by: Tommy V at October 23, 2012 03:25 PM (ZYlKz)

25 Wouldn't it be great if he goes back to the White House after losing and all of his shit is piled up on the front lawn?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 23, 2012 03:25 PM (BuSM8)

26 Any donation you make today automatically enters you for a chance to meet me Â— airfare and hotel for you and a guest are covered. I'll consider it, but only if you and your wife stay at a different hotel and don't leave.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows where there's smoke, there's choom at October 23, 2012 03:25 PM (AZGON)

27 Don't worry, Clara and I will be fine.

Posted by: Benito Mussolini at October 23, 2012 03:26 PM (U+DUu)

28 Someone needs to start an emo-Obama gag

Posted by: Uncle Milty at October 23, 2012 03:26 PM (/g5vp)

29 Don't do this to me, Ace; made me laugh and almost spit on the screen. I sent this post to one of my girlfriends, a Democrat -- I hope she doesn't accuse me of "being mean" to her again.

Posted by: Samwise Gamgee at October 23, 2012 03:26 PM (u8eBQ)

30 "I'd like to see you there, but if you don't want to come out, that's cool. I don't know if it's going to be that exciting."

Posted by: rdbrewer at October 23, 2012 03:26 PM (Iyg03)

31 @laceyunderalls: that's because Grant Park will return to its traditional Dem progressive role as home to rioters.

Posted by: Kevin In ABQ at October 23, 2012 03:26 PM (q1qCt)

32 Like Fluke's pep-rally last weekend it will be an 'intimate gathering'. Posted by: laceyunderalls at October 23, 2012 07:24 PM (gR77P) --Fluke and "intimate gathering" do not belong in the same sentence. Hard to get intimate with a chick who has an "Easy" button on her door and a queue of other dudes waiting for their turn.

Posted by: logprof at October 23, 2012 03:26 PM (jKE+Z)

33 Oh, I almost forgot: UNINSTALLING OBAMA █████████▒ 90% complete

Posted by: Samwise Gamgee at October 23, 2012 03:27 PM (u8eBQ)

34 when Allred's surprise turns out to be nothing, can someone do another Hitler in the Bunker parody..?

Posted by: mallfly at October 23, 2012 03:27 PM (bJm7W)

35 "If you can't come out or donate, tie a yellow ribbon around an old oak tree. That'd be cool. Then I'll know you care."

Posted by: rdbrewer at October 23, 2012 03:27 PM (Iyg03)

8I want to nut on Gloria Allred's face.

Me too!

Posted by: Secretariat at October 23, 2012 03:28 PM (U+DUu)

37 Big Obama fan here.

And #1 capitalist in the USA.

Posted by: Warren Buffett at October 23, 2012 03:28 PM (sGtiM)

38 "Hey, you know, maybe we could have some laffs sometime... next time around. Okay?"

Posted by: rdbrewer at October 23, 2012 03:28 PM (Iyg03)

39 Any Choom?

Posted by: Paladin at October 23, 2012 03:28 PM (HuzS0)

40 Haha! Oh yes...some of my high school seniors have already voted. They hate Obama because of the crappy cafeteria food (they are only 18, so this is important to them). They are so proud of themselves. I am too!

Posted by: Jmel at October 23, 2012 03:29 PM (c+D8V)

41 Tagg Romney's voting machines are going to steal Ohio.

Posted by: NBC at October 23, 2012 03:29 PM (cTjRR)

42 37 Good post, Herbert.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 03:29 PM (lddO4)

TFG's good.

Alcohol.

I'm good.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, stealing time on B'Gal's computer at October 23, 2012 03:29 PM (lOmbq)

44 ...don't worry, Eva and I will be fine -- our bunker is fabulous!

Posted by: Adolf Hitler at October 23, 2012 03:29 PM (CfGGV)

45 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at October 23, 2012 03:30 PM (6o4Fb)

46 Warren, I support Obama too.

And I have more cash - just saying.

Posted by: Bill Gates at October 23, 2012 03:30 PM (sGtiM)

47 I donÂ’t know what Election Night will hold Of course you do. Your dick in your hands. You might want to get started finding it now. It usually takes you quite a while.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows where there's smoke, there's choom at October 23, 2012 03:30 PM (AZGON)

48 "Look, I'd like to be there, but I'm kinda out of it right now. How about if I call instead? We'll find each other someday."

Posted by: rdbrewer at October 23, 2012 03:30 PM (Iyg03)

49 After reading this I thought of the scene from Blazing Saddles where sheriff Bart puts a gun to his own head. "Everyone donate or the ****** gets it'

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 23, 2012 03:30 PM (b+jI9)

50 Alcohol, eh? I just might support Mrs Obama.

Posted by: MJ at October 23, 2012 03:30 PM (TR60b)

51 "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Just whatever you think, man."

Posted by: rdbrewer at October 23, 2012 03:31 PM (Iyg03)

52 Posted by: Samwise Gamgee at October 23, 2012 07:27 PM (u8eBQ)

I plagiarized that and (believe it or not) posted my first overtly political entry on Facebook.

Posted by: jwb7605 at October 23, 2012 03:31 PM (Qxe/p)

53 44...don't worry, Eva and I will be fine -- our bunker is fabulous!

Posted by: Adolf Hitler at October 23, 2012 07:29 PM (CfGGV)

Hey, why don't you and Eva come to Milano? The four of us could hang together!

Posted by: Benito Mussolini at October 23, 2012 03:31 PM (U+DUu)

...which I translate as "It's going to be a grim affair, grim and horrible and just sad, but there'll be lots of alcohol."

----------

Hmm. Just yesterday, there was a story about a congressman demonstrating a proven ability to lay his hands on mass quantities of cheap vodka, trading it for votes.

Coincidence?

Posted by: Anachronda at October 23, 2012 03:32 PM (xGZ+b)

55 46 Yep. Some of teh Rich love teh Powerful. Good point, Herbert.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 03:32 PM (lddO4)

56 That'll be quite a party, who's up for some consoling Stephanie Cutter sex?

Posted by: lowandslow at October 23, 2012 03:33 PM (GZitp)

57
there'll be lots of alcohol...

...and a chance for souless late night despair sex with despondent Dem Fems.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 23, 2012 03:33 PM (kdS6q)

Not because of what losing would mean for me -- Michelle and I will be fine no matter what happens.

Now we can all get some sleep.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at October 23, 2012 03:33 PM (U+DUu)

56 That'll be quite a party, who's up for some consoling Stephanie Cutter sex?

----------

Maybe Sandra Fluke will be there, too.

Posted by: Anachronda at October 23, 2012 03:33 PM (xGZ+b)

60 Man, it must suck to be behind and the momentum is going AWAY from you.

Yep, like being caught in a rip tide, and too tired to move up or down the coast to be out of it....did I mention the large triangular dorsal fin behind you?

Posted by: Paladin at October 23, 2012 03:34 PM (HuzS0)

61 there'll be lots of alcohol... ...and a chance for souless late night despair sex with despondent Dem Fems. Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (kdS6q) Bring it!

Posted by: Maria Cuntwell at October 23, 2012 03:34 PM (jKE+Z)

62 >>>I plagiarized that and (believe it or not) posted my first overtly political entry on Facebook. Oh, it's cool. I plagiarised it from a 'Radar' commenter.

Posted by: Samwise Gamgee at October 23, 2012 03:34 PM (u8eBQ)

63 Any donation you make today automatically enters you for a chance to meet me No fucking way. With the support you're currently getting, there's an even chance I might actually win that lottery, and I have no desire to be nauseated.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows where there's smoke, there's choom at October 23, 2012 03:35 PM (AZGON)

64 21 Hillbuzz (yeah, I know) had a piece where they're starting to tie it all together. Team Obama hasn't applied for a permit to Grant Park to hold his victory rally 2.0. Instead they booked something at a convention center on election night. Like Fluke's pep-rally last weekend it will be an 'intimate gathering'. Posted by: laceyunderalls I saw that too- what stuck with me was the location made it easy to whisk Duh!1 away, and the "moveable walls"- to make a small gathering look big.

Posted by: backhoe at October 23, 2012 03:35 PM (ULH4o)

65 61 Again, is this the real one or a sock?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 03:35 PM (lddO4)

66 I wasn't online last night, but did anyone else notice that after the debate, after B&M and Romney, Ann and family members were on the stage, towards the end everyone left. It was just Mitt and Ann walking across the stage to leave and about half the audience starting clapping and cheering for them?

I was surprised...the tide is turning when people can openly cheer for the GOPer in a mixed audience, especially one with MSM crawling all over the place.

Posted by: Mayday at October 23, 2012 03:35 PM (F3s39)

67 "Maybe Sandra Fluke will be there, too."

She'll be so sad, she'll limit herself to just a gangbang quicky.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 23, 2012 03:35 PM (GZitp)

68 I can't decide who is hotter.

Alex Wagner of MSNBC or Megan Kelly on Fox News. A 3-way would decide it once and for all.

Posted by: Herbert Hymenhopper at October 23, 2012 03:35 PM (sGtiM)

69 "Maybe Sandra Fluke will be there, too." -------- She'll be so sad, she'll limit herself to just a gangbang Don't know where she will get any takers.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows where there's smoke, there's choom at October 23, 2012 03:37 PM (AZGON)

70 I can't wait for Aunt Esther Moochelle to kick Barry in the balls for ruining her gig,

Posted by: Barry S at October 23, 2012 03:37 PM (X4XFN)

71 69 I seriously doubt that. Neither of them are men.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 03:37 PM (lddO4)

72 ...don't worry about us down here in Guyana...thangs are great!!!...and you just have to try our kool-aid!

Posted by: Jim Jones at October 23, 2012 03:38 PM (CfGGV)

73 First prize is an evening with me and Michelle. Second prize is two evenings with me and Michelle.

Posted by: 0bamamail at October 23, 2012 03:38 PM (jKE+Z)

74 "Don't know where she will get any takers."

It's in Chicago, the place stinks with sexual degenerates and Bear fans.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 23, 2012 03:39 PM (GZitp)

75 75 What's the difference?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 03:39 PM (lddO4)

I'd be happy with a $35M spread in Hawaii and unlimited booze and drugs and the adoration of dozens of fellacious sycophants for the rest of my life.

Jus' sayin'...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, stealing time on B'Gal's computer at October 23, 2012 03:39 PM (lOmbq)

77 I only hope some young idealistic intern in OFA is getting all this on video. This would look like Downfall 2012, the Documentary. It would not be a blockbuster, but it would make a nice trilogy with 2016, and Hating Breitbart.

Posted by: rd does not believe the polls at October 23, 2012 03:40 PM (zLp5I)

78 I'm trying really hard not to get giddy.

Posted by: esch at October 23, 2012 03:41 PM (Qg1n0)

79 If I lose this election, Michelle is going to kill me!

Posted by: Barry Choombama at October 23, 2012 03:41 PM (Uw091)

80 I would love to be there when he gives his concession speech.

I couldn't stand to be there if he wins, however.

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 23, 2012 03:41 PM (he2LC)

81 Lotto politics; he's appealing to his Irish Cook County, IL, base.

Posted by: Thorvald at October 23, 2012 03:42 PM (1V6Pv)

82 "49 After reading this I thought of the scene from Blazing Saddles where sheriff Bart puts a gun to his own head. "Everyone donate or the ****** gets it'"

Holy Batshit Robin that is great esp because I think I have watched Blazing Saddles more than any human and consider it primo in film..and why I think all other films suck.

But, alas, you post is raaaaaaacist! But, consider it cut and pasted and to be used a lot in the next 2 weeks! Bravo fellow Moron.

Posted by: Barry S at October 23, 2012 03:43 PM (X4XFN)

83 I love it when someone sticks something in my pooper and then I pop it back out!!!!111!11!!

Posted by: Herbert Pooper Popper at October 23, 2012 03:44 PM (/YJYi)

84 #36 is so far the thread winner... Disgustingly amusing, but still funny.

Posted by: GuyfromNH at October 23, 2012 03:44 PM (kbOju)

85 "...which I translate as "It's going to be a grim affair, grim and horrible and just sad, but there'll be lots of alcohol."

And you will have to pay for that alcohol, because my campaign is broke.

Posted by: PJ at October 23, 2012 03:44 PM (DQHjw)

86 It's in Chicago, the place stinks with sexual degenerates and Bear fans.

Redundant!

Posted by: Paladin at October 23, 2012 03:45 PM (HuzS0)

87 When Marine One lifts off on its final departure, I hope Bo pisses all over Barry's Bruno Maglis

Posted by: Fritz at October 23, 2012 03:46 PM (vm7ot)

88 Yep, the campaign is broke as hell. That's why we're getting personal guarantees.

Posted by: Bank of America at October 23, 2012 03:46 PM (cTjRR)

89 "P.S. Â— I donÂ’t know what Election Night will hold," OMG. Who the hell is running that campaign? Jeebus, they're practically announcing that it is lost. I hope someone shows this to Romney and Ryan it'll put a spring in their steps. They may as well say, "Yeah, we're probably gonna lose, so come to Chicago and we'll all get shitfaced.

Posted by: nerdygirl at October 23, 2012 03:54 PM (P7Eiq)

81I would love to be there when he gives his concession speech.

Memo to self: buy a second DVR, in case the first one malfunctions. Hell, why take chances? Buy two more.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at October 23, 2012 03:56 PM (U+DUu)

91 Desperation is never attractive. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Now with more! at October 23, 2012 03:57 PM (gmoEG)

There will be lots of smoking after the election.

Posted by: lan sing at October 23, 2012 04:02 PM (ennDW)

93 I read they took out a $15 million dollar loan, due shortly after the election. I know TFG is trying to keep all the DNC money for his reelection, which could be good for us, they aren't spending $ on the dems in congress, so if TFG loses, we will win with that and more dems on the fence will go down too.

Posted by: CarolT at October 23, 2012 04:03 PM (z4WKX)

94
It's in Chicago, the place stinks with sexual degenerates and Bear fans.

What about us?

Posted by: Cubs and White Sox fans at October 23, 2012 04:03 PM (ZH0sH)

95 75 "Don't know where she will get any takers."
It's in Chicago, the place stinks with sexual degenerates and Bear fans.

I proudly belong to both groups. Do you see a problem with that?

Posted by: Scanner Dan at October 23, 2012 04:03 PM (JMHCS)

96 His numbers get any worse, he should be paying to meet me.

Posted by: Whoever this is, it's definitely not Michael at October 23, 2012 04:05 PM (JVCVF)

97 Chewbacca:My Secret Garden

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 04:14 PM (r2PLg)

98 They may as well say, "Yeah, we're probably gonna lose, so come to Chicago and we'll all get shitfaced.

---

Hell, I'd probably go if they said that.

Posted by: mediumheadboy at October 23, 2012 04:39 PM (aHR5E)

99 "...but there'll be lots of alcohol."

I'm there! Now, will Barack attend naked... 'cause I'm up for that, too.

Posted by: Tingles Matthews at October 23, 2012 04:48 PM (eHIJJ)

100 Obama has a 5 point advantage in the popular vote and the electoral vote and all other votes.

http://qkme.me/3rh6tp

Posted by: Greg at October 23, 2012 04:54 PM (fXInK)

101 Shades of "The Onion": Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail

Posted by: OCBill at October 23, 2012 05:33 PM (YJvVE)

102 I hope all his donors drain their entire net worth to re-elect him. Then go on government progams.

Posted by: pointsnfigures at October 23, 2012 05:52 PM (EBPRt)

103

Watching MSNBC and CNN on election night should be priceless. I want all the screenshots of Maddow et al as they see their precious slowly losing. I want the pain driven home to these fuckwits at every moment that night. I want Wolf Blitzer sobbing into his beard. I want Anderson doing a 360 not knowing which way is up. I. WANT. PAIN. INFLICTED. UPON. THE. MEDIA. ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

Whew. I feel better now.

Posted by: sans_sheriff at October 23, 2012 06:05 PM (vge4w)

104 "It's going to be a grim affair, grim and horrible and just sad, but there'll be lots of alcohol."

Muslims don't drink, so what's Obama having?

Posted by: nraendowment at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (Msv+6)

105 Bong water?

Posted by: Daver at October 23, 2012 08:04 PM (H17OS)

106

Look whee the lucky winner gets to go: the McCormick Place Concession Bunker, cut off from downtown Chicago, no public transportation access. Is Obama paying cab fare, too?

How far the mighty have fallen from Grant Park in 2008.

Posted by: 66chevelle at October 24, 2012 02:32 AM (QjSgY)

107 "Someone needs to start an emo-Obama gag"

Posted by: Uncle Milty at October 23, 2012 07:26 PM (/g5vp)

Big fur Hat has a Sad Obama gag that's pretty funny.

Posted by: 66chevelle at October 24, 2012 02:38 AM (QjSgY)

108 "an emo-Obama gag" Shouldn't that be "EmObama", or "Ebo-Bama"? It will be interesting to see how he takes failure, especially when they do a detailed post-hoc analysis somewhere down the line and find out exactly how many people switched from him to Romney or decided to stay home. They'll be mopping exploded brains off the walls at MSNBC for months afterwards.

Posted by: perturbed at October 24, 2012 03:57 AM (u6Ueb)

109 "A chance to meet me"????

Yet again, we think he's reached the heights of egomania . . . and once again we're unpleasantly surprised.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at October 24, 2012 05:35 AM (BDU/a)

110 87 When Marine One lifts off on its final departure, I hope Bo pisses all over Barry's Bruno Maglis
*
*
I hope somebody adopts that dog. Those classless characters adopted him for political purposes, and will probably toss him soon after Nov. 7.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at October 24, 2012 05:54 AM (BDU/a)

111 I don't know, that's a pretty sweet offer. Send him five bucks for the opportunity to watch him sit in a corner crying in his Bud Light while Michelle storms out to pack her bags and bolt. "Their mouths will hang open and they'll all cry 'boo-hoo'"

Posted by: Snake Plissken at October 25, 2012 02:19 AM (W7wRP)

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