Ace of Spades HQ

March 28, 2012

One Heartbeat Away: Confused Old Man Thanks "Dr. Pepper" at Campaign Event
— Ace

Joe Biden, one of the dumbest people to ever hold an office often reserved for dummies.

Â“So let me say it again: Thank you, Terry, and thank you, Dr. Pepper, and thank you, Chancellor Â— Dr. Paper Â— and thank you, Chancellor, for this partnership of yours. You are one of the reasons why Â— youÂ’re literally one of the reasons why American companies are now insourcing instead of outsourcing,Â” he said.

Posted by: Ace at 01:54 PM | Comments (123)
Post contains 96 words, total size 1 kb.

1 what a maroon!

Posted by: model_1066 at March 28, 2012 01:55 PM (YbQJm)

2 Boy that Sarah Palin sure is dumb.

Posted by: liberal Hollywood Douchebag at March 28, 2012 01:56 PM (DQpZ4)

3 Perhaps the next time he gets hair plugs they won't use a nail gun.

Posted by: pep at March 28, 2012 01:56 PM (6TB1Z)

4 THANK YOU, GIANT BEER!

Posted by: Joe "Barney Gumble" Biden at March 28, 2012 01:56 PM (gCa4h)

5 It's not even fucking funny anymore. What a stupid old worthless douchebag.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 28, 2012 01:57 PM (PJ+vx)

6 And they said *I* was the dumbest VP who ever occupied that office...

Posted by: Dan Quayle at March 28, 2012 01:58 PM (UR5vq)

7 also, check instapundit/volokh's blurb about the blithering ignorance our elected officials have about the constitution

Posted by: model_1066 at March 28, 2012 01:58 PM (YbQJm)

8 Joe Biden serves an important role in this Administration. He's the best insurance policy against impeachment in the history of politics.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at March 28, 2012 01:58 PM (Jdtsu)

9 At least he didn't as a paralytic to stand up and take a bow. When it comes to gaffes "Stand up, Chuck!" is the best of all time.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 28, 2012 01:58 PM (DQpZ4)

10 If I had a son, he would sound just like Joe Biden....

Posted by: Forrest Gump at March 28, 2012 01:58 PM (gCa4h)

Too many 'Fifteens'

You know, 7 and 7

Posted by: fluffy at March 28, 2012 01:59 PM (3SvjA)

12 My favorite classis book is Count Monte's Crisco by Alex Dumbass. They didn't know about saturated fats back then though.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 01:59 PM (SY2Kh)

13 Make fun of Biden all you want. America would be better off with him as Prez.

Posted by: Pecos, still yearning for Perry at March 28, 2012 01:59 PM (2Gb0y)

14 Old: Bush misspoke. What a chimpy idiot! New: Biden misspoke. Meh, he was close.

Posted by: Doc at March 28, 2012 01:59 PM (2grn/)

15 He's just disappointed Dr. Pepper didn't bring his Lonely Hearts' Club Band.

Posted by: nickless at March 28, 2012 01:59 PM (MMC8r)

16 "Stand up there, Joe Biden's Brain! Oh, shit I forgot, you don't have one!"

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at March 28, 2012 02:00 PM (d0Tfm)

When it comes to gaffes "Stand up, Chuck!" is the best of all time.

Almost.

Posted by: Kanye West at March 28, 2012 02:00 PM (3SvjA)

18 as = ask

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 28, 2012 02:00 PM (DQpZ4)

19 I forgot to add Dr. Emmett Brown to that list for his work with Plutonium.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 02:00 PM (sCnxN)

20 WTF happened to RC Cola?

Posted by: Mr. Pink at March 28, 2012 02:00 PM (swkkW)

21 I'm a pepper you're a pepper he's a pepper she's a pepper wouldn't you like to be a pepper too? Dr paper?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 28, 2012 02:00 PM (gR8hq)

22 Ima pepper shesa pepper hesa pepper, woulnd't you like to be a pepper too

Posted by: The Jackhole at March 28, 2012 02:00 PM (nTgAI)

23 Mr. Pibb was unavailable for comment.

Posted by: Bosk at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (n2K+4)

24 He must have been well oiled and lubricated

Posted by: killface at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (BDd0G)

25 I hear Biden also gave a shout-out to Mr. Pibb.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (itI1e)

26 Not confused, pur say...

... lubricted.

Posted by: Clueless Joe at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (JWkYB)

27 if you think what Rush said about me was bad, you wouldn't believe what Joe said....

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (8g9qq)

28 Beat me too it !

Posted by: The Jackhole at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (nTgAI)

29 And the stupid old fucker is thinking of making a presidential run in 2016?

Hope SMOD hits before then.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (PJ+vx)

30 Too bad he didn't thank Dr. Who.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (swkkW)

Yeah, but Ol' Slow Joe can probably spell potaerweojnv.

And it would make sense.

To him.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (d0Tfm)

32 Dr Pepper is what his wife calls his Viagra pills.

Posted by: pat at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (UFxap)

33 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at March 28, 2012 02:01 PM (7W3wI)

34 Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I'm in a god-damn hurry.

Posted by: Sheriff Joe T. Justice at March 28, 2012 02:02 PM (wCucu)

35 I'm just happy Plugs didn't bring a pair of scissors to the speech. 'Cuz even Joe knows, scissors cut Paper.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at March 28, 2012 02:02 PM (Jdtsu)

36 And your lovely wife Lorna Doone

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 02:02 PM (QKKT0)

37 30 jackhole Lol gtm

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 28, 2012 02:02 PM (gR8hq)

38 Just think, we could have had that nitwit snowbillie Palin.

Posted by: Cast Iron at March 28, 2012 02:03 PM (EL+OC)

39 Why does dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 28, 2012 02:03 PM (gR8hq)

40 It's been like 500 years since governments employed court jesters. I like the return to tradition.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 02:03 PM (QKKT0)

41 And thank you, Dr Scholl's and Doc Marten...

Posted by: Shoeless Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 02:03 PM (JWkYB)

42 You can keep your Dr. Pepper if you want to...

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 28, 2012 02:03 PM (Qxdfp)

43 Dr. Pepper, who put his life and reputation and sacred honor in an effort to bring a much needed cease fire in those dreaded 'Cola Wars' during the 80s.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 02:03 PM (sCnxN)

44 I'm tellin' ya: Biden is Tug Bensen from 'Hot Shots: Part Deux.'

Posted by: nickless at March 28, 2012 02:03 PM (MMC8r)

45 All this material for late night hosts and yet......crickets. This would have been a week long running joke if it had been Bush.

Posted by: Bosk at March 28, 2012 02:04 PM (n2K+4)

46 I accidentally used the women's bathroom today. I think the towel dispenser was broken because they came out as thick and oval shaped. I needed four just to rinse my face.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 02:04 PM (SY2Kh)

47 A waist is terrible thing to mine.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 02:04 PM (d0Tfm)

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 06:04 PM (SY2Kh)

Hahaha....threadwinner!

Posted by: Bosk at March 28, 2012 02:06 PM (n2K+4)

49 American companies are insourcing now?

Posted by: Yoshi, Aggrieved Victim of the White Man at March 28, 2012 02:06 PM (8LsJa)

50 This guy is really Obama's insurance policy.
He don't need no Secret Service.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 28, 2012 02:06 PM (Qxdfp)

51 Little known fact;

Sgt. Dr. Pepper and the lonely hearts brigade, along with members of the 43rd Assault Mech force, retook New New York from the Union of Self Appropriators (also known as USA) on March 23rd 2147.

Posted by: Lord Monochromicorn at March 28, 2012 02:07 PM (f7ZM4)

52 If my calculations are correct, you're gonna see some serious shit in June, Mr. VP.

Posted by: Dr. Emmett Brown at March 28, 2012 02:07 PM (v1uZf)

53 A man after my own.....?

Posted by: Chance the Gardener at March 28, 2012 02:07 PM (eCnLg)

54 Hold it! Next man makes a move, the retard gets it!

Posted by: Bart Biden at March 28, 2012 02:07 PM (QKKT0)

55 Thank goodness we didn't get Sarah Palin!

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at March 28, 2012 02:07 PM (i0App)

56 He's the Ralph Wiggum of politics.

Posted by: model_1066 at March 28, 2012 02:08 PM (YbQJm)

57 #36 one of the best lines of that movie! and Biden could have played Buford's idiot son. perfectly.

Posted by: the Butcher at March 28, 2012 02:08 PM (8g9qq)

58 Biden's greatest accomplishment was providing the inspiration for the character of Frank Drebin.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at March 28, 2012 02:08 PM (+lsX1)

59 I've been with thousands of men/again and again/they promise the moon/they're always coming and going and going and coming... and always too soon.

Posted by: Sandra von Fluke at March 28, 2012 02:08 PM (QKKT0)

60 No Respect

Posted by: Tab at March 28, 2012 02:08 PM (/Xv8z)

61 Dr. Pepper soft drink distributors hardest hit.

Posted by: Damiano at March 28, 2012 02:09 PM (A2+pr)

62 SO

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 28, 2012 02:09 PM (eCnLg)

63 Anybody think he's on Statin drugs?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 28, 2012 02:10 PM (Qxdfp)

This Guinness I'm drinking is more sentient than Slow Joe.

And the head looks a lot better too.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at March 28, 2012 02:10 PM (d0Tfm)

65 Forget stupid Joe; Fox Business is excoriating Corzine this afternoon. I quote; he is either lying or he is incredibly stupid. Former CFO took the 5th today. Will they give her immunity so she will bust his balls?

That is the question Cozine is asking himself.

Posted by: Vic at March 28, 2012 02:10 PM (YdQQY)

66 66 He could be... He's out of it...

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 28, 2012 02:10 PM (gR8hq)

67 Biden serves the perfect sitcom role. The dumb white male friend of the leading black male. he makes the black guy seem smarter. Remember mr Willis or Bentson on The Jeffersons?

Posted by: Wise Latina at March 28, 2012 02:11 PM (PRN37)

68 Better than Dr pecker I guess ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at March 28, 2012 02:11 PM (nTgAI)

"Anybody think he's on Statin drugs?"

Sadly, no.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at March 28, 2012 02:11 PM (d0Tfm)

70 68 This miserable state I'm in voted for this asshole seven times

Which state is that? Denial or Confusion?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 28, 2012 02:11 PM (Qxdfp)

71 I don't have a clue what you're talkin' about, Phil. Not a f**king clue. I have a shell the size of a fist in my head. Pork Chop Hill. The only way I can make this goddamn toupee to stay on is by magnetizing the entire upper left quadrant of my skull, so you just go ahead and do what you do.

Posted by: Vice-President Tug Biden at March 28, 2012 02:12 PM (MMC8r)

72 Ah, I feel sort of sorry for the guy.

Posted by: mike at March 28, 2012 02:12 PM (RIT3J)

73 Rep. Corrine Brown can't remember the name of white female murder victim she claims is of equal importance to her as Trayvon Martin is. Comedy Freakin' Gold. Story @ The Blaze.com

Posted by: It Begins at March 28, 2012 02:12 PM (ETgqz)

74 He was thinking of Mr. Clean (and articulate).

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 28, 2012 02:12 PM (zLEiy)

75 Thank you Dr Pepper! Now I hear Mr Stay-Puft is in the audience. Stand up, let 'em see ya!

Posted by: Joe "Depends" Biden at March 28, 2012 02:12 PM (Y+DPZ)

76 Remember , the US and the French drove Hezbollah out of Lebanon

Posted by: Wise Latina at March 28, 2012 02:12 PM (PRN37)

77 Is there some inside joke about Statins now?

Posted by: Vic at March 28, 2012 02:13 PM (YdQQY)

78 >>>>72 Better than Dr pecker I guess ? He already made a lube job joke this week.

Posted by: mike at March 28, 2012 02:13 PM (RIT3J)

79 Thanks, Joe!!!!!!!

Posted by: Suzy Kolber at March 28, 2012 02:13 PM (ykSKg)

80 Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?" Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson just blink out one day like a bad bulb? I mean, one minute you're in bed with a knockout gal... or guy, and the next, you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother any of you? Because it scares the living piss outta me!

Posted by: Admiral Tug Biden at March 28, 2012 02:13 PM (MMC8r)

81
Joe Biden is the Al Bundy of Washington bureaucrats. All hat and no cattle.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 28, 2012 02:14 PM (TkGkA)

82 Actually, after years of observing Leftards, I would have to say Joe is representative of that group of people. Either delusional, or dumb as a garden slug. A third group of leftard may simply be insane. You hear that Kay? Fucking booger eating, ass digging, bat shit insane, like you KayInSane.

Posted by: maddogg at March 28, 2012 02:14 PM (OlN4e)

83 Vic not a joke they make you confused and in some cases temporary amenesia

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 28, 2012 02:14 PM (gR8hq)

84 My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.

Posted by: Admiral Tug Biden at March 28, 2012 02:14 PM (MMC8r)

85 >>83 Is there some inside joke about Statins now? iirc (heh), they've recently added memory loss to the list of side effects from statin usage.

Posted by: Y-not at March 28, 2012 02:14 PM (5H6zj)

86 81This miserable state I'm in voted for this asshole seven times

Which state is that? Denial or Confusion?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo

The land of Tax free shopping. Delaware.
Remember that when the usual assholes start asking "what's wrong with Kansas?"

Posted by: model_1066 at March 28, 2012 02:15 PM (YbQJm)

87 Joe Biden is the Al Bundy of Washington bureaucrats. All hat and no cattle. Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 28, 2012 06:14 PM (TkGkA) ??? Al Bundy is one of my heroes

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 28, 2012 02:15 PM (eCnLg)

88 83 Is there some inside joke about Statins now?

iirc (heh), they've recently added memory loss to the list of side effects from statin usage.

Posted by: Y-not at March 28, 2012 06:14 PM (5H6zj)

I think i read that somewhere ... but I cant remember

Posted by: The Jackhole at March 28, 2012 02:15 PM (nTgAI)

89 Be seated! Ah... Many of you are wondering what's wrong with my pants, well they started running short on materials right before they got to the knees so don't give me any shit. Ah. I look out there on all you wonderful guys and I say to myself "What I wouldn't give to be 20 years younger... and a woman". You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.

Posted by: Admiral Tug Biden at March 28, 2012 02:15 PM (MMC8r)

90 Vic not a joke they make you confused and in some cases temporary amenesia

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 28, 2012 06:14 PM (gR8hq)

------------------

I have been taking them for 6 years now. I don't have that listed on the side effects sheet. But I forgot where I put it.

Posted by: Vic at March 28, 2012 02:16 PM (YdQQY)

91 How the hell did Choo Choo ever get on the right train ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at March 28, 2012 02:16 PM (nTgAI)

92 I always thought it was the Delaware chemicals that got to his brains.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 28, 2012 02:16 PM (zLEiy)

93 they've recently added memory loss to the list of side effects from statin usage. Posted by: Y-not at March 28, 2012 06:14 PM (5H6zj) I take... what was the question again?

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 28, 2012 02:16 PM (eCnLg)

94 31 And the stupid old fucker is thinking of making a presidential run in 2016?

Well, at least then Obama wouldn't be the stupidest person to hold the office in our lifetimes.

Posted by: Laura Castellano at March 28, 2012 02:16 PM (fuw6p)

95 Is there some inside joke about Statins now? Posted by: Vic I was on Statins Island once! It wasn't as fancy as Delaware though. Posted by: Genius Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 06:15 PM (c9Ivb) OK that's pretty funny

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 28, 2012 02:16 PM (eCnLg)

96 Statins can cause memory issues and confusion, sadly.

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2012 02:17 PM (32mdF)

97 It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes. Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars.

Posted by: Vice-President Tug Biden at March 28, 2012 02:17 PM (MMC8r)

98 31 And the stupid old fucker is thinking of making a presidential run in 2016?

Yeah, and he already bought the runnings shoes.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 28, 2012 02:17 PM (Qxdfp)

Vice-President Tug Biden

Good stuff there

Posted by: The Jackhole at March 28, 2012 02:17 PM (nTgAI)

100 You know, sometimes I feel bad for ol' Joe. I mean, Dr. Paper -> Dr. Pepper is pretty easy to misstate. I mean, aren't we better than that pettiness? ... "GWB is a Chimpy McHalliburton, evil genius moron" ... Biden is a dunce and his supporters are worse.

Posted by: AlexC at March 28, 2012 02:18 PM (3hxER)

101
I went to a Packers game with Senator Ron Kerry, and the Pats beat the Cardinals at Lambert Field.

Posted by: Joe "Jerkwad" Biden at March 28, 2012 02:18 PM (TkGkA)

102 Former CFO took the 5th today. Will they give her immunity so she will bust his balls? I heard today she was being offered a proffer, but all the ts are not crossed yet.

Posted by: madamex at March 28, 2012 02:18 PM (1zsKV)

103

So he's a stuttering clusterfuck of a comical failure?

Posted by: model_1066 at March 28, 2012 02:19 PM (YbQJm)

104 Sorry to hear you are taking statins Vic. Side effects are not good

Posted by: Dan at March 28, 2012 02:19 PM (uhPd1)

105 in their world, nothing exists but what they desire . truth is whatever they say. so shut-up folks there really must be a dr.pepper , dr.paper, dr.whiteout, dr.indahouse.

Posted by: willow at March 28, 2012 02:19 PM (TomZ9)

106

Dr Pepper is great, but it's hard to beat Big Red!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 28, 2012 02:21 PM (TkGkA)

107

i'll bet somebody cuts his hotdogs into little pieces for him.

Posted by: model_1066 at March 28, 2012 02:24 PM (YbQJm)

108 I know, I made a mistake when I said "Dr. Pepper" instead of "Dr. Paper".

Does anyone know if Dr. Pepper is still alive? I really like his soda, but none of the hospitals knew who he was because they just hung up on me when I called. I tried calling Mr. Pibb, but his number was disconnected.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2012 02:24 PM (SY2Kh)

109 damn, now i want a hot dog with spicy mustard, onions and jalapenos....brb

Posted by: model_1066 at March 28, 2012 02:26 PM (YbQJm)

110 There is no period after "Dr" in "Dr Pepper". That's what makes it Satan's favorite soda.

Posted by: Minuteman at March 28, 2012 02:29 PM (Rs/l4)

111

Vic, et all.....Statins can also cause aches and pains in your muscles and joints.

[link in my name]

Jeeze it's like every pill has it's price to pay....in side effects. Haven't had to take statins myself, but I have family members who have.

Posted by: wheatie at March 28, 2012 02:29 PM (dEMjC)

112 Know what the secret ingredient in Dr. Pepper/Mr. Pibb is?

Prune juice. That's right, prune juice.

Posted by: Cast Iron at March 28, 2012 02:32 PM (EL+OC)

113 I tried to get my cardiologist to let me off statins. Instead he upped the dose to 80mg.

Posted by: Vic at March 28, 2012 02:39 PM (YdQQY)

114 I hate the new Dr. Pepper commercials. All the liberals in their "what makes me special" t shirts.

Posted by: Ktgreat at March 28, 2012 02:42 PM (TCTPY)

115 Dr. Pepper is a soft drink, patented 1906 by the Dr. Pepper Co., Dallas, Texas, named for U.S. physician Dr. Charles Pepper.

Posted by: Soledad O'Brien at March 28, 2012 02:45 PM (eHIJJ)

116 What am I, invisible?

Posted by: Mayor McCheese at March 28, 2012 02:51 PM (NNKsm)

117 Commenter Re Re at Weasel Zippers made this comment:

From a guy I work with who lives in DE and who unfortunately had this clown as his Senator:

Â“I read over the weekend that a brain surgeon had recently opined that when Biden had his aneurism in 1998, it may have done damage to the frontal lobe which controls oneÂ’s ability to control [what] he or she wants to say. In other words, the filter that controls or stops you from blurting out wrong stuff is damagedÂ”.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 28, 2012 02:59 PM (6RnvM)

118 Biden is the public minded servant who was reportedly charging the Secret Service rent for protecting his sorry ass....next thing you know, he'll be installing coin-operated toilets in the space he rents to the secret service so he can plunder the public some more. Still, Biden's useful in a limited way - you can figure the correct policy option just by picking the polar opposite of whatever he advocates. He is totally representative of the sorry state of the Democrat party, though...

Posted by: Take a Bow, Plugs! at March 28, 2012 03:21 PM (ZEzII)

119 Perfectly acceptable...at 10, 2, & 4.

Posted by: GandalfGoneBad at March 28, 2012 05:12 PM (1Ap7+)

120 I'm a pepper you're a pepper wouldn't like pepperoni on your pizza. No wait that's not it

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 28, 2012 07:15 PM (887C9)

121 If Woody WoodPepper chops down a tree in the forest, would I still hear my phone ring?

Posted by: Canyouhearmenow Biden at March 29, 2012 03:03 AM (6+hLt)

122 Joe Biden; DUMBER THAN A BOX OF HAIR PLUGS

Posted by: Juror Parking Permit at March 29, 2012 06:16 AM (FeMMc)

123 I love lamp.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 29, 2012 07:31 AM (6V1UP)

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