October 08, 2012

Re-Post: It's Over
— Ace

Well, not really. Last time I posted this it was... erm, premature.

It still is premature. Still, we should have some fun.

I'm not in politics for the policy, or the Constitution, or the prosperity.

I'm in it, chiefly, for the gloating.

So:

I think the election is over. I think it is so over we need a new Latin tense to describe how over it is, the Past Pluperfect Noncontinuing Historical Past Tense.

So, what the hell are we going to do for a month?

That's where Romney and Ryan are going to have to step the hell up. To make this entertaining, and not just a snoozer of a blowout, they're going to have to deliberately make some bad choices. They're going to have to fight to keep this close, to keep it interesting.

They're going to have to schedule some gaffes.

I was spitballing last night about some of the things they could do for us. You might have your own ideas.

* Mitt Romney should start wearing a top hat, spats, and a monocle.

* Paul Ryan should announce his marital status is now "Swingle."

* Mitt Romney can reveal he subscribes to Poop Magazine. And in fact doesn't just subscribe, but invested Bain Capital funds in it. Bain Capital funds that otherwise would have gone towards Not Murdering People With Cancer.

* When citizens present their babies for Paul Ryan to kiss, he should say, "Sorry, lady, but I don't kiss garbage."

* Both candidates should pick a swing state we absolutely need and then begin insulting residents of that state for no good reason. Mitt Romney can start things off by referring to residents of Florida as "Floritards." Paul Ryan can walk into Ohio rallies and say, "What the crap smells so bad? Oh, right: dirty filthy Ohio dirt-mongrels."

* Mitt Romney should start using the word "choad" casually, in tv interviews. He should also say "sext" whenever he means "email," "text," "call," or "tell." As in: "I'll be sexting the public my plan for tax reform later."

* Mitt Romney should begin referring to Ann Romney as "My publicly-acknowledged sister-wife."

* Paul Ryan should arrange for himself to be photographed leaving an American Legion bathroom, with the American flag stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

* Whenever Ann and Mitt Romney appear in joint interviews, Ann should flinch at Mitt's slightest movement, and then whisper frantically to the interviewer: "Sometimes he gets so very angry with me."

* Paul Ryan should make frequent, cryptic references to "my side-piece in Madison."

* Mitt Romney should start saying things like "Joe Biden makes me so angry I want to punch him right in the wife."

* Whenever Paul Ryan doesn't like the premise of a reporter's question, he should sharply say "Zionist lies!!!," with sibilants a-crackin'.

* If asked about his Mormonism, and tensions with the evangelical community, Mitt Romney should get a cigar and start doing the Edward G. Robinson voice: "So where's your Messiah now, ay? See? Yeah. See? Yeaaahh."

* Mitt Romney should appear on Letterman, riding Rafalca. On the stage will be a makeshift, poorly-ventilated smithy where poor children are forced to make golden horseshoes for Rafalca. When the children, singed and sooty, are finished with their difficult, dangerous task, Mitt Romney should pay them in chicken bones and old, misprinted issues of Poop Magazine.

Posted by: Ace at 01:03 PM | Comments (344)
Post contains 571 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Brother you have lost your mind.

Posted by: Othered at October 08, 2012 01:05 PM (EuW9O)

2 Mitt Romney should start wearing a top hat, spats, and a monocle. ...like a sir!

Posted by: Brother Cavil presents at October 08, 2012 01:05 PM (GBXon)

3 Watcha smokin?

Posted by: i am mad as hell and i am not going to take it anymore at October 08, 2012 01:05 PM (cgxNI)

4 The Fun should be geared towards bringing down the MSM.  Taunt them, abuse them, mock them, dare them!

Posted by: @ParisParamus at October 08, 2012 01:05 PM (hRji9)

5 You're killing me here.

Posted by: Winston Wolf at October 08, 2012 01:05 PM (6LvlL)

6 Whenever an MSM turd asks a gaffe-bait question, Mitt should turn to the fat Secret Service guy and say "Finish him."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 01:06 PM (QKKT0)

7 http://tinyurl.com/9grqy42 Stacey Dash Likes the way you Think Ace

Posted by: Evilpens at October 08, 2012 01:06 PM (ck76k)

8 So ace, you got Axe's email too?

Posted by: Greg in his mom's basement at October 08, 2012 01:07 PM (wR+pz)

9 Mitt should announce that as president, he would auction off the West Bank and Gaza on Ebay.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 01:07 PM (QKKT0)

10 uhhhh . . . some of these are . . . yeah this was not the best idea you've ever had

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at October 08, 2012 01:07 PM (J6kXj)

11 Oh Dear God.

The only thing missing was Mitt Romney saying he wanted to bitch-slap Joy Behar.

How's that for a war on Women?

Posted by: marcus at October 08, 2012 01:07 PM (GGCsk)

12

This all seems so familiar...

Does this mean we'll have the inevitable "Oh shit Obamas gonna win by 10 points" post tomorrow like last time?

 

Posted by: Jolly Roger at October 08, 2012 01:07 PM (t06LC)

13 Ace gerg will be here shortly to rebuke you with a poorly worded interpretation of a random poll that shows Barry in a landslide over Mitt

Posted by: Dick Nixon at October 08, 2012 01:08 PM (VrVBw)

14 Anyone lived in a pretty how town


with up so floating, many bells down

Posted by: e e cummings at October 08, 2012 01:08 PM (Dll6b)

15 "Joe Biden makes me so angry that I want to explode"

Posted by: Cid at October 08, 2012 01:08 PM (e8kgV)

16 Texans: Mitt Romney Sanchez: Obama

Posted by: soothsayer at October 08, 2012 01:08 PM (k+YdJ)

17 Ace is feeling his oats after slapping CAC down.

Posted by: fluffy at October 08, 2012 01:08 PM (z9HTb)

18 Suck it, greg.

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 01:09 PM (V/U0X)

19 I think ace has manic-depression. Not kidding.

Posted by: Joffen, fucking sunshine patriot at October 08, 2012 01:09 PM (U08Mg)

20 dafuq

Posted by: amireet at October 08, 2012 01:09 PM (3ziXJ)

21 I happen to prefer running up the score, myself.

Posted by: Bill Belichick at October 08, 2012 01:09 PM (6LvlL)

22 Romney should get in front of a bunch of African Americans and yell-- "Chains--they gonna put you all back in CHAINS!!!"

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:09 PM (r2PLg)

23 Mitt should sit for an exclusive interview with Knave Magazine.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 01:09 PM (QKKT0)

24 @13

No these are today's talking points.  I guess ace somehow got on the Journo list?

Posted by: Greg in his mom's basement at October 08, 2012 01:09 PM (wR+pz)

25 Ryan should jump on Biden's back and try to pull off Joe's hair at the next debate. 

Posted by: Dblwmy at October 08, 2012 01:10 PM (BvTwT)

26 18 Suck it, greg. ~~~~~~~~~~~ But Obama. Obama said. He said on Fox that the jobs numbers.

Posted by: Greg's Mouth at October 08, 2012 01:10 PM (3ziXJ)

27 Ahhhh, Ace on an upswing is certainly fun and entertaining.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 08, 2012 01:10 PM (GEICT)

28 Ace. What do you know that we don't know?

Posted by: Hello, it's just me Donna at October 08, 2012 01:10 PM (9+ccr)

29 @21 Agreed.

Posted by: JDTAY at October 08, 2012 01:10 PM (a0nis)

30 Romney should get in front go a bunch of whiteys and yell-- "What about YOUR DOLLAR!!!?"

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:10 PM (r2PLg)

31 The only thing missing was Mitt Romney saying he wanted to bitch-slap Joy Behar. The downside of which would be...?

Posted by: Brother Cavil presents at October 08, 2012 01:10 PM (GBXon)

32 Well, not really. Last time I posted this it was... erm, premature. It still is premature. Still, we should have some fun. That's what can happen when you're master of your domain for too long. I think the election is over. I think it is so over we need a new Latin tense to describe how over it is, the Past Pluperfect Noncontinuing Historical Past Tense. It has had been over, already, long before it had had had ever even had been started.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at October 08, 2012 01:10 PM (X3lox)

33 Oh no. You bastard. I always get sucked in to posts like this. You might as well dangle naked hookers and buckets of heroin in front of me. No, seriously, I'm open to that.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:11 PM (AZGON)

34 Capes for them , Mercury hats with wings for their staffs

Posted by: mbruce at October 08, 2012 01:11 PM (Fr8N6)

35 I've been saying this for months.

How about this for a reason that Obumbles sucked ass at the debate.

His internal polls show him 7-8 points behind.
And have, since April of this year.

Posted by: Courtesy Flush at October 08, 2012 01:11 PM (tkbF8)

36 the debate was Guadalcanal ( Obama was the Nipponese )


bloody battles ahead, though







Posted by: Isaac Davis White at October 08, 2012 01:11 PM (Dll6b)

37 Thursday night Ryan should step out from behind the podium with his nutsack hanging out of his pants and shout, "Oh shit, Joe check your seat, I just sat in gum!"

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at October 08, 2012 01:11 PM (+lsX1)

38 When you're this far ahead, why not give the ball to the Fridge on a goal-line gimmick play?

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 01:11 PM (V/U0X)

39 30 Romney should get in front go a bunch of whiteys and yell--

"What about YOUR DOLLAR!!!?"


No no no.

"Chains?  Hell yeah we got them, pay some taxes"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at October 08, 2012 01:11 PM (wR+pz)

40 Ya shit Ace is gonna JINX it --again...oy. Remember what happened like the very next day almost after he did this the last time? gawd. What the hell-- Smoke 'em while you got 'em!!!

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:12 PM (r2PLg)

41 The only thing missing was Mitt Romney saying he wanted to bitch-slap Joy Behar.

Millions of voters, alive and dead, would just shrug and say, "Who doesn't?"

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 08, 2012 01:12 PM (/kI1Q)

42 Oh, dear, tomorrow's edition of Worried Ace is going to be the worriedest ever. That said, have got to applaud the President's work in California. Gas going up by 60 cents in a weekend qualifies as a promise kept! Necessarily skyrocketing our asses with no inflation!

Posted by: t-bird at October 08, 2012 01:12 PM (FcR7P)

43 So, not only does Ace step all over CAC twice in one afternoon, he does it the second time with an old post.


Posted by: RoyalOil at October 08, 2012 01:12 PM (imtbm)

44 Stacey Dash Likes the way you Think Ace Posted by: Evilpens at October 08, 2012 05:06 PM (ck76k) She has great eyes.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at October 08, 2012 01:12 PM (X3lox)

45

unus postulo a vicis apparatus video vidi visum terminus.

Latin for - it is so over, one needs a time machine to see the end.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at October 08, 2012 01:12 PM (qx7YW)

46 "Chains?
?"
"What about YOUR DOLLAR!!!?"

Posted by: Hello, it's just me Donna at October 08, 2012 01:12 PM (9+ccr)

47 It won't be over til January, and I shudder to think what happens between November and then.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at October 08, 2012 01:13 PM (LLtW1)

48 Wow Ace ...  Have you run this by AllahPundit, just to make sure?

Still, pretty fuckin funny, hooah?

Posted by: eastvalleyphx says fuck islam at October 08, 2012 01:13 PM (wJX79)

49 " It's Over" Don't get cocky kid.

Posted by: DiogenesLamp at October 08, 2012 01:13 PM (0nt6p)

50 "I'm in it, chiefly, for the gloating." Well, considering the side we're on, that's like deciding to be a Cub's fan so you can buy all that World Series paraphanalia the team makes every year ... ...or perhaps you were waiting for the part where you get to say "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos" as the Commissars whip us on the production line...

Posted by: Y. at October 08, 2012 01:13 PM (PIYjT)

51 This is bullshit. 


Everyone knows Obama is just holding back till the "October Surprise"

Posted by: Chris "tingle legs" Mathews at October 08, 2012 01:13 PM (wR+pz)

52 Coast Guard offloads $36 mil. in cocaine, pot The Associated Press Posted : Monday Oct 8, 2012 8:44:22 EDT ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — The crew of the Coast Guard Cutter Resolute has offloaded nearly 3,000 pounds of cocaine and 1,300 pounds of marijuana in St. Petersburg. The drugs were seized during an operation last month and were unloaded Saturday. They are valued at $36 million. The Tampa Tribune reported that the cocaine was seized when Coast Guard officials detained a group of suspected drug smugglers in international waters off the coast of Honduras. While onboard, Coast Guard crew members discovered 53 bales covered in a white powdery substance that later tested positive for cocaine. The marijuana came from a separate incident and was confiscated from a different boat near Nicaraguan waters. We party tonight!

Posted by: Coasties at October 08, 2012 01:13 PM (j1gX1)

53 "I think the election is over. I think it is so over we need a new Latin tense to describe how over it is, the Past Pluperfect Noncontinuing Historical Past Tense."

================


I know this post is for fun and all but don't say things like that there.....makes me twitch.

Posted by: Tami at October 08, 2012 01:13 PM (X6akg)

54 Romney should go on The View wearing Zubaz and his hair in cornrows.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at October 08, 2012 01:13 PM (+lsX1)

55 aw, c'mon, there's no such thing as jinzxklkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Posted by: ace at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (LCRYB)

56 51 This is bullshit.


Everyone knows Obama is just holding back till the "October Surprise"

Posted by: Chris "tingle legs" Mathews at October 08, 2012 05:13 PM (wR+pz)


  The surprise might be on him..

Posted by: Hello, it's just me Donna at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (9+ccr)

57 Mitt Romney should have fundraiser and auction off his other wives.

Posted by: Mmmmm I'm Lovin it at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (F6KtL)

58 PR should just  start throwing rocks at his audience,   sorta like Earnest T. Bass.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (lOmbq)

59 44 Stacey Dash Likes the way you Think Ace Posted by: Evilpens at October 08, 2012 05:06 PM (ck76k) She has great eyes. Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at October 08, 2012 05:12 PM (X3lox) I'll let you know when I make it that high.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (GEICT)

60 That choad Chuck Todd, he's gonna be feelin' the power of the magic underwear. And why does Ohio smell like pollution and pig?

Posted by: Mitt "Drago" Romney at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (RD7QR)

61 America, let's run up the score on this amateur.

November 6

Posted by: Craig Poe at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (BVkEs)

62 Everyone knows Obama is just holding back till the "October Surprise" Posted by: Chris "tingle legs" Mathews at October 08, 2012 05:13 PM (wR+pz) --I hope the "7.8%" was the October Surprise and they've already spooged.

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (V/U0X)

63 Romney appears at a photo-op with the infamous Michael Vick and drops the football more often then Vick.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (feFL6)

64 38

And Romney and Ryan should do an election shuffle rap.

Posted by: Penfold at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (1PeEC)

65 The only way for Biden to salvage even a glimmer of respectability for the campaign after Obama's horrendous... no disastrous... no apocalyptic performance in the debate would be for him to (using a sports metaphor) pitch a no hitter, bat for the cycle, achieve the triple crown, go undefeated in the season by carrying the entire team all while being the player manager.

But I don't think he should feel any pressure.

Posted by: HtP at October 08, 2012 01:14 PM (jx2j9)

66 Romney should show up at random NAACP meetings and give them the "Where's your messiah now?".

Posted by: JackStraw at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (TMB3S)

67 It's over?

So, I can order another truckload of pudding?

Posted by: dantesed at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (wI8go)

68 did anyone post this? Romney in top hat and spats

http://tinyurl.com/9szezdh

Posted by: mallfly at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (bJm7W)

69 D.M. Hawkins @HawkinsUSA 34m Romney now has an RCP post-debate poll lead of 1.3 points... #ButItsOver and #DebatesDontMatter and #Skittles

Posted by: Evilpens at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (ck76k)

70 Romney should invite the press to a whistle stop lunch. There, he will eat a can of ground Folgers, drink a pint of Everclear, and ask if anyone from the Washington Post would like to "arm-wrassle my 'Mormon Tabernacle', it's a mighty edifice."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (AZGON)

71 We party tonight! Posted by: Coasties at October 08, 2012 05:13 PM (j1gX1) Hook me up!

Posted by: Ashley Biden at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (V/U0X)

72 Sock Off

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (j1gX1)

73 Mitt could pull a John Edwards and channel the ghost of Chris Stevens at the next debate: "I needed more security! Where were you? Oooooh."

Posted by: Vladimir Douchevsky at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (eZ05x)

74 Mitt should publicly accuse Hillary! of witchcraft.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 01:15 PM (QKKT0)

75 According to a Bloomberg Government study from May, insurers stand to lose $1 trillion in revenue if the law is repealed.

Posted by: Cid at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (e8kgV)

76 Oh yeah, forgot:  Happy Columbus Day.  Thank you and your brave men for coming here and if not first in landing, first in promoting.  You da man.

Grazie tanto!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (PHb2k)

77 Mitt remarks, 'Ya know, that Obama guy was clean and articulate during the debates. Unlike the blacks I dealt with in Massachusetts.'

Posted by: Mmmmm I'm Lovin it at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (F6KtL)

78 Ryan should wave a math book in the next debate and yell at the crowd: "You're all so stupid! You should try reading one of these once in your life!"

Posted by: Socratease at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (iVBDH)

79 actually Stacey Dash does have great eyes. I was moving up and down on that picture. It's the between parts I'm not certain. Does she have a neck? If she does, it's all upside.

Posted by: ace at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (LCRYB)

80 Romeny should fumble a phrase and claim he was just acting like Obama at a debate.

Posted by: CheshireLion at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (zNDIM)

81 Poop magazine - Obama has the collectors set.

Posted by: HtP at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (jx2j9)

82 Not over till it's over, but we have momentum on our side. The only thing that could derail us is some monumental October Surprise out of the Obama camp. I don't think the subsequent debates will have much of an impact. In terms of substance, after talking with my wife(who is completely non-political) who watched last week's debate, she was sort of confused by the back and forth of the policy specifics, but was taken aback by the leadership that Romney exuded. Obama on the other hand came across as a degenerate slacker. Proverbial feckless beta male. That sort of thing is hard to overcome. You can't fake leadership, especially when the contrast is so stark between Romney and Obama right next to each other.

Posted by: Kramer at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (lHTEq)

83 Sorry Ace but I'm giving you a reality slap.   Even if Romney is now very well set to win -- If we don't take the senate as well Romney can only undo the crap Barry did by executive order.   That leaves a lot of crap that Pelosi and Reid crafted and Reid has blocked voting on most GOP  HoR bills to undo the crap.  

Posted by: PaleRider at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (dkExz)

84 I'm still in my 'we're down by 5 mode - that's go with that' mode.

Last time I got excited like this Chief Justice made me puke at work. So yeah.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (pLTLS)

85 Not funny.

Posted by: Maureen Dowd at October 08, 2012 01:16 PM (JsCdW)

86 Master of your Domain: Day 0

Posted by: cajun carrot at October 08, 2012 01:17 PM (UZQM8)

87 I just heard Dick Morris who I always take with a grain of salt rail about the new ways they plan on screwing us by agreeing to the UN taxing us. Now I've heard this idea before but who in their fucking minds would be stupid enough to sign off on it? I do not owe allegiance to the fucking world. One more reason to get the UN out of America now!

Posted by: Redd at October 08, 2012 01:17 PM (guxHP)

88 --I hope the "7.8%" was the October Surprise and they've already spooged. Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 05:14 PM (V/U0X) _____________ Naaa...that ain't it--remember this is a crowd that just makes it up. Hell they had the Senate Majority leader lying for how many weeks that Romney was a felonious tax evader. So they will quite literally say anything and risk the credibility of their highest office holders and the United States to take Romney out.

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:17 PM (r2PLg)

89 Crotch grabbing during the debates is always good.

Posted by: mare at October 08, 2012 01:17 PM (A98Xu)

90 ACE YOU FOOL! THOSE MISPRINTED POOP MAGAZINES ARE COLLECTIBLE!

Posted by: PR at October 08, 2012 01:17 PM (KHo8t)

91 Put in your backup QB and have him run a flea-flicker.

Posted by: Bobby Bowden at October 08, 2012 01:17 PM (V/U0X)

92

 

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — The crew of the Coast Guard Cutter Resolute has offloaded nearly 3,000 pounds of cocaine and 1,300 pounds of marijuana in St. Petersburg.

 

Florida?!?!?! I know I had 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington DC on the shipping address!

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at October 08, 2012 01:18 PM (ggRof)

93 At the next debate every time Obama says something Romney should answer with "Loser says what?". Then follow it up with "I know you are but what am I?".

Posted by: JackStraw at October 08, 2012 01:18 PM (TMB3S)

94 gerg will be back after dinner -- creamed spinach... ewww

Posted by: mallfly at October 08, 2012 01:18 PM (bJm7W)

95 The left is still in denial. They were yapping that there was no bounce and now they are yapping that the non existence bounce is subsiding. Get your lies straight! I'm also sick of the meme that Romney is a bully. Put on your big girl pants, Obama!

Posted by: Redd at October 08, 2012 01:18 PM (guxHP)

96 83 Sorry Ace but I'm giving you a reality slap. Even if Romney is now very well set to win -- If we don't take the senate as well Romney can only undo the crap Barry did by executive order. That leaves a lot of crap that Pelosi and Reid crafted and Reid has blocked voting on most GOP HoR bills to undo the crap. Posted by: PaleRider at October 08, 2012 05:16 PM (dkExz) --No worries: Romeny not only has a monocle and spats, but also coattails.

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 01:18 PM (V/U0X)

97 63 Romney appears at a photo-op with the infamous Michael Vick and drops the football more often then Vick. Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at October 08, 2012 05:14 PM (feFL6) ________________________ He should show up with Vick and say they are starting a Dog Club...

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (r2PLg)

98 She has great eyes.


Stacey Dash has eyes?

Posted by: fluffy at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (z9HTb)

99

[Ace] ...."So, what the hell are we going to do for a month?"

 

We could start a new meme...the Mewling Quim Media.

I've already been trying.

 

Personally, I think that calling them the 'Main Stream Media'...is too complementary.

And I'm never sure what people mean when they use....'MFM'. 

 

So, I would like to see a new one....the MQM....which more accurately describes the way that the liberal douchebags comport themselves.

 

Posted by: wheatie at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (l5RhJ)

100 Whenever I wear a top hat, spats, and monocle, I bring along a shackled monkey so I have something to beat with my cane.

Posted by: Fritz at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (vm7ot)

101 Romney should thrash a urchin with his walking stick at the townhall.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (QupBk)

102

So, I can order another truckload of pudding?

 

Speaking of, SIL#1 dropped off  a  big stack of pudding coupons when he was here this past weekend. I'll be  well supplied for  the Nov. 6  dippening. In front of the TV, with MSNBC watching that crew commit seppuku live and in living, loving color.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (lOmbq)

103 >>with his nutsack hanging out of his pants

Back in Scranton, we used to call that "hangin' brain."

Posted by: Joe Biden at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (SwjAj)

104 I just heard Dick Morris who I always take with a grain of salt rail about the new ways they plan on screwing us by agreeing to the UN taxing us. Now I've heard this idea before but who in their fucking minds would be stupid enough to sign off on it? I do not owe allegiance to the fucking world. One more reason to get the UN out of America now! Posted by: Redd at October 08, 2012 05:17 PM (guxHP) Not even obama is that stupid, but IF, that ever came about, Now your talking revolution

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (j1gX1)

105 >>>Sorry Ace but I'm giving you a reality slap. Even if Romney is now very well set to win -- If we don't take the senate as well Romney can only undo the crap Barry did by executive order. senate races have been moving in our favor since the debate. If Romney wins the WH it is very likely we will win the Senate.

Posted by: ace at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (LCRYB)

106 Every time Biden answers a question in the debate, Ryan should bust out a vigorous, two-handed jerking off pantomime.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at October 08, 2012 01:19 PM (+lsX1)

107 actually Stacey Dash does have great eyes. I was moving up and down on that picture. It's the between parts I'm not certain. Does she have a neck? If she does, it's all upside. http://tinyurl.com/9k8vcmf This Pic Clear it up?

Posted by: Evilpens at October 08, 2012 01:20 PM (ck76k)

108 Romney invites Giada De Laurentiis to a rally and she is heard whispering to him, ""By the way, they're real, and they're spectacular!"

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at October 08, 2012 01:20 PM (feFL6)

109 Mitt should announce a campaign donation contest where the winner gets to go to Alaska and club a baby seal.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 01:20 PM (QKKT0)

110 Other gaffe possibilities... * Mitt begins the next debate by showing off a padded glove, and announcing that he felt so bad about the last time he pimp-slapped Obama at a debate, he would be wearing a pillow on his hand for this one. * Paul Ryan announces that Jason Biggs is correct about his wife's bleached a-hole, and that yes, it's more gloriously-pale than an albino Klan hood. * Mitt refers to Netanyahu as "that hook-nosed hymie who hates my boy A-jad." * In an interview about the Romney family, Mitt casually mentions that his five sons make him so proud that he feels no guilt for ignoring his other wives and children "back at the ranch" in Utah. * John Sununu pulls a Glock on Chris Matthews and asks him if his leg will still tingle after he busts one in Matthews' kneecap. * The Romney campaign films a shot-for-shot remake of "Taken" starring Mitt as Liam Neeson's character, but it's the family dog who gets taken by the Obama family, and instead of sex slavery, the Obamas simply want to eat him. * Three words: Michelle. Obama. Sextape. * ^ With Hillary. * ^^ And Mitt. And it's called "The Governor's Staff."

Posted by: Flyover Country at October 08, 2012 01:20 PM (m7Lxh)

111 Romney should go on Letterperv's show and tell the gap-toothed fuckhead the new DoJ will be looking at workplace civil rights violations of him banging interns.

Posted by: Captain Hate (more dagny and less curious) at October 08, 2012 01:20 PM (FYkK7)

112 When you're this far ahead, why not give the ball to the Fridge on a goal-line gimmick play?
---
Fuck you.

Posted by: Zombie Walter Payton at October 08, 2012 01:21 PM (84pE9)

113 Thanks for making me laugh rons & ettes.....I needed it today!

Posted by: Cheri at October 08, 2012 01:21 PM (EAgmr)

114 >I think the election is over.


It is not. And I submit it is dangerous to think this way.

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 08, 2012 01:21 PM (8sCoq)

115 It is not. And I submit it is dangerous to think this way.

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 08, 2012 05:21 PM (8sCoq)


  Lighten up Francis...

Posted by: Hello, it's just me Donna at October 08, 2012 01:22 PM (9+ccr)

116 Romney should announce he's toying with the idea of instituting Prima Nocta.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 08, 2012 01:22 PM (TMB3S)

117

Romney should not only take candy away from babies , he take it away and give it to babies with diabetes.

Posted by: polynikes at October 08, 2012 01:22 PM (m2CN7)

118 Can't we ever have a thread without the people who insist on being buzz kills? One? Just one?

Posted by: mare at October 08, 2012 01:22 PM (A98Xu)

119 That Giada chick. Are her boobs real? I know they are real fun to look at. Serious responses only please.

Posted by: Othered at October 08, 2012 01:22 PM (EuW9O)

120 Don't jinx it!!!!!!

Posted by: black mamba at October 08, 2012 01:22 PM (tSxym)

121 Obama' s next sign of desperation is when he can't stop talking about his long-time love for Cinc Reds.

Posted by: soothsayer at October 08, 2012 01:22 PM (Fely/)

122 Last time I got excited like this Chief Justice made me puke at work. So yeah. <--- Same here. I am cautiously optimistic

Posted by: Caunotaurius at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (SHvfC)

123

- he should take it away -

freaking fingers.

Posted by: polynikes at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (m2CN7)

124 BREAKING!
BREAKING!
BREAKING!

SECRET VIDEO SURFACES OF OBAMA'S NEW DIGS THAT IS BEING PURCHASED FOR HIM BY RICH FEMALE DONNER!

THIS IF GOING TO SHOCK THE SHIT OUT OF THE 99%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoPnC_sVs0k

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! 

PEOPLE NEED TO ASK WHERE IS OUR FAIR SHARE?

THIS IS NOT THE REDISTRIBUTION YOU ARE LOOKING FOR!

Posted by: OCCUPY WALLSTEET? FUCK THAT Y'ALL OCCUPY WALL STREET, IMA GO TO HAWAII at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (ovpNn)

125 Paul Ryan should encourage attractive women in the audience to throw their panties on the stage, and cite the height of the resulting pile as the "leading indicator of the women's vote". Romney should start referring to the date as "The year 2012, or as my People refer to it, Year 1 of the New Era!"

Posted by: GalosGann at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (T3KlW)

126

Has anyone mentioned not sucking each other's cock yet.  I mean, I really don't want to do that, even if  we do win big.   Especially after all that pudding.   C'mon.

Posted by: Soona at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (wwXXR)

127 Mitt should walk up to a family after a speech and ask, "How much for the women? I want to buy your  women."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (lOmbq)

128 Can't we ever have a thread without the people who insist on being buzz kills? One? Just one? Posted by: mare at October 08, 2012 05:22 PM (A98Xu) Sure, Lets talk about the NY Jets. Oh my G-D just kill me

Posted by: Jets Fan at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (j1gX1)

129 Posted by: OCCUPY WALLSTEET? FUCK THAT Y'ALL OCCUPY WALL STREET, IMA GO TO HAWAII at October 08, 2012 05:23 PM (ovpNn)

  My eyes, my eyes!

Posted by: Hello, it's just me Donna at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (9+ccr)

130 The crew of the Coast Guard Cutter Resolute has offloaded nearly 3,000 pounds of cocaine and 1,300 pounds of marijuana in St. Petersburg. And now, by firmly closing our eyes, we'll be able to see who the major players are...

Posted by: Eric Holder at October 08, 2012 01:23 PM (FcR7P)

131

Romney should get in front of a bunch of African Americans and yell--

 

 

Funny that you should mention that, cause that Pew poll shows 92% support for TFG from the monolithic black vote

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at October 08, 2012 01:24 PM (R8hU8)

132 Actually, the nutsack out the top of the pants is known as the "Texas belt buckle".

Posted by: Vladimir Douchevsky at October 08, 2012 01:24 PM (eZ05x)

133 No way, ace. I'm gonna win that debate and turn everything around. BTW, nice rack on your wife. Go, Joey, go!!!

Posted by: joey biden at October 08, 2012 01:24 PM (vDl/w)

134 I'm still baffled as to why we are worried about retaking the Senate.  If we can't even do that, then we are in real trouble.  We should be going for 54-55.  If Romney wins, we will likely get there.  Say, maybe we can even get one in MO.

Posted by: SH at October 08, 2012 01:24 PM (gmeXX)

135 OH SHIT ANOTHER VIDEO OF THE SECRET OBAMA RETREAT HITS THE NET!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0vWEc5jaPA

Posted by: OCCUPY WALLSTEET? FUCK THAT Y'ALL OCCUPY WALL STREET, IMA GO TO HAWAII at October 08, 2012 01:25 PM (ovpNn)

136

Posted by: Jets Fan at October 08, 2012 05:23 PM (j1gX1)

 

 

Soon

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at October 08, 2012 01:25 PM (R8hU8)

137 Oh Barky, that feels sooo good, ah, ah, ah shucks, premature again.

Posted by: Typical Leftist Pollster at October 08, 2012 01:25 PM (ndlFj)

138 Mitt can show up for the next debate in just the magic underwear?

Posted by: i am mad as hell and i am not going to take it anymore at October 08, 2012 01:25 PM (cgxNI)

139 Mitt should have his name legally changed to Frank Marshall Davis two weeks before the election just to get inside Obama's head.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at October 08, 2012 01:25 PM (4136b)

140 This election is so over that Romney can even start blaming President Bush for stuff!

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 01:26 PM (j1gX1)

141 Romney should walk out at the next presser with a set of leg irons and say "Biden may be crazy but he's not stupid".

Posted by: JackStraw at October 08, 2012 01:26 PM (TMB3S)

142 I think this is just Ace's way of saying:

"Don't get cocky kid"

Posted by: kinlaw at October 08, 2012 01:26 PM (uLTng)

143 > Can't we ever have a thread without the people who insist on being buzz kills?


Is it a buzzkill to caution against declaring victory a month early?

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 08, 2012 01:26 PM (8sCoq)

144 Mitt Romney should announce he is investing private money into Amalgamated Spats and Confederated Slave Holdings.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 01:26 PM (kFnmp)

145 Romney should take to carrying around a half-full, gallon size pickle jar with a single pickle that sloshes around as he speaks while holding it on stage.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at October 08, 2012 01:26 PM (+lsX1)

146 Paging AtC....I believe you usually handle this....

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 08, 2012 01:26 PM (GEICT)

147 Romney should promise that he will replace all birth control pills with tic tacs and sweet tarts.

Posted by: polynikes at October 08, 2012 01:26 PM (m2CN7)

148 And don't forget, when the JEF had his best polling of the election from his convention, even with the BJ Clinton bounce and unfiltered tongue-baths from the media he got--ta da!--two points.

Two fricking points.

In polls that skewed heavily Democrat.

Two dad-blamed points.

And Ace freaked the shit out.

One unfiltered night of Romney and he gets five, count 'em, five points.

Remember that: The best the JEF could do, even with puttin' on some of that old time gospel of Clinton, is get two.

Keep that in mind when the polls come out in two weeks showing the JEF "surging." Even after he loses the debate.

Posted by: RoyalOil at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (imtbm)

149 Romney should put a black-faced concrete lawn jockey in his front yard, and tell reporters "Garden gnomes do nothing for me. In fact, 47% of them do nothing at all."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (AZGON)

150 Sure, Lets talk about the NY Jets. Alright. I am seriously tempted to call Vegas and put serious money on their chance of winning tonight. I mean it is the 666th Monday Night Football game and they got Tebow on the bench. I love it when God f*cks with us. Especially if I can make a few serious bucks in the process.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (feFL6)

151 Ryan should go on the VIEW and ask the yapping twats "Which one of you has  gotta clean up your snail trails after the show?"

Posted by: Bruce at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (JI+T4)

152 Mitt should show up at the next debate using empty Kleenex boxes for shoes.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (QKKT0)

153 Ryan should announce that there's a 24-hour sex tape with him and some college chick.

Posted by: Craig Poe at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (BVkEs)

154 Is it a buzzkill to caution against declaring victory a month early? Posted by: Jones in CO at October 08, 2012 05:26 PM (8sCoq) You do most of this is just what we call a parody? It was not meant to be serious

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (j1gX1)

155 You do get that this is a satire post, right, Jones in CO?

Posted by: mare at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (A98Xu)

156 Sure, Lets talk about the NY Jets. Oh my G-D just kill me

Posted by: Jets Fan at October 08, 2012 05:23 PM (j1gX1)

Let's also talk about the NY Mets. Friends who are Mets fans (yeah, there are a few) are keeping the mental health hotlines busy.


Posted by: Basement Cat at October 08, 2012 01:27 PM (SQf/I)

157 I agree with a previous poster. I don't think it's over and it's dangerous to say so. I'm still waiting for some terrible October surprise.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 08, 2012 01:28 PM (0nogT)

158 Mitt Romney should have sex with Janna Ryan during the next debate . . . and still answer the questions.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 01:28 PM (kFnmp)

159 This Pic Clear it up?


The girl looks like she needs a friend. A dirty, dirty friend.

Posted by: fluffy at October 08, 2012 01:28 PM (z9HTb)

160 OK.  Sorry for being the wet blanket but  Barry and the DNC are running the most blatant lying commercials on the Denver TV channels,  and have been for several weeks which makes me think the local MarxSpewMedia are not calling them on it at all.  Some of the lies really do sound damming to Mitt and the R congress candidates. 

Posted by: PaleRider at October 08, 2012 01:28 PM (dkExz)

161 Funny that you should mention that, cause that Pew poll shows 92% support for TFG from the monolithic black vote Posted by: Velvet Ambition at October 08, 2012 05:24 PM (R8hU ____________________ You know I'm sure this makes me the racist but I think the last time a result of 92% of any population voting for one candidate it was Stalin reported by Stlin Media Is US (SR)

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:28 PM (r2PLg)

162 From PurpAv in last post:  "Boomers were born and raised in an era of unparallelled prosperity. They have no concept of what happens when shit goes sideways and a society collapses. They take everything we have today for granted."

Hey, PurpAv, how old are you?

Posted by: Sukie Tawdry at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (MPtFW)

163 152 Sure, Lets talk about the NY Jets. Alright. I am seriously tempted to call Vegas and put serious money on their chance of winning tonight. I mean it is the 666th Monday Night Football game and they got Tebow on the bench. I love it when God f*cks with us. Especially if I can make a few serious bucks in the process. Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at October 08, 2012 05:27 PM (feFL6) --I need them to hold Arian Foster to 16 fantasy points at most to avoid going 0-3 this week. All I need is a miracle.

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (V/U0X)

164 Romney should announce that as President, every Wednesday night at the White House will be Wife-Swapping Night, because unlike selling wives, swapping is a non-taxable event.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (AZGON)

165 When Ryan goes to kiss a baby, his tongue should loll out of his mouth like he's going to French-kiss the tot.

Posted by: spongeworthy at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (r5w1L)

166 That said, the things Romney should do were pretty funny.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (0nogT)

167 133 No way, ace. I'm gonna win that debate and turn everything around. BTW, nice rack on your wife. Go, Joey, go!!! Posted by: joey biden at October 08, 2012 05:24 PM I think this one is going to be closer than we all think. Even though Ryan has him outmatched in terms of facts and ideas, Biden is a seasoned debater and is a master BSer.

Posted by: Kramer at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (lHTEq)

168 Romney should feign fainting at every opportunity and blame it on the altitude.

Posted by: polynikes at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (m2CN7)

169 Next debate, Romney shows up in black face.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (TMB3S)

170 Eh,  I've been saying it is over for quite some time  now.  Everything is so overly analyzed, that we sometimes lose focus  of the big picture.  The big picture in 2008  told us that the environment for a GOP candidate was bad.   Mitt wouldn't have won in 2008.  The  big picture now is that Obama has nothing to run on. 

Posted by: SH at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (gmeXX)

171 You do most of this is just what we call a parody? It was not meant to be serious

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 05:27 PM (j1gX1)

156 You do get that this is a satire post, right, Jones in CO?

Posted by: mare at October 08, 2012 05:27 PM (A98Xu)



I had several concussions in high school

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (8sCoq)

172 Ryan announces his 2016 presidential campaign.

Posted by: Soona at October 08, 2012 01:29 PM (wwXXR)

173 Mitt should walk out in the next debate  wearing nothing but a sock,  ala the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at October 08, 2012 01:30 PM (lOmbq)

174 That's where Romney and Ryan are going to have to step the hell up. To make this entertaining, and not just a snoozer of a blowout, they're going to have to deliberately make some bad choices.

No. I want to see such a blowout that the democrat party ceases to exist.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 08, 2012 01:30 PM (d0Dmj)

175 Remember that Akin post? When Ace went full eeyore and he said it was all over? Good times.

Posted by: mediumheadboy at October 08, 2012 01:30 PM (aHR5E)

176 You forgot Romney bringing out his other three wives.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 08, 2012 01:30 PM (0nogT)

177 170 Next debate, Romney shows up in black face.

And sings "Mammy"

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 01:30 PM (kFnmp)

178 Posted by: PaleRider at October 08, 2012 05:28 PM (dkExz)

  I think Ace is just saying what the libs said when the polls were going their way. They told us it was over, go home, better luck in 2016. So now we have positive polls so we can do the same. Lighten up, we know it's gonna be a hard fight...

Posted by: Hello, it's just me Donna at October 08, 2012 01:30 PM (9+ccr)

179 153 Mitt should show up at the next debate using empty Kleenex boxes for shoes. Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 05:27 PM (QKKT0) _______________________ He should show up with a hundred hankies and ask Obama-- "How do you like the altitude, buddy?"

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:30 PM (r2PLg)

180 I had several concussions in high school Posted by: Jones in CO at October 08, 2012 05:29 PM (8sCoq) I hear smoking dope cures that.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 01:30 PM (j1gX1)

181 All joking aside, if the election were today, Obama could only barely eek out a victory if he matched the 2008 turnout.

This would BE over if we voted today.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at October 08, 2012 01:31 PM (qigku)

182 Romney's next contest for supporters should be "Chip in $3 for a chance to fly out for the Romney/Ryan key party.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at October 08, 2012 01:31 PM (4136b)

183 To play along with Ace -  Have Akin introduce  Mitt at every campaign stop.

Posted by: SH at October 08, 2012 01:31 PM (gmeXX)

184 178 170 Next debate, Romney shows up in black face. And sings "Mammy" Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 05:30 PM (kFnmp) ___________________ Oh shizzle LOL!

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:31 PM (r2PLg)

185 Next debate, Romney shows up in black face. And sings "Mammy" Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 05:30 PM (kFnmp) Personally I like the camptown races better

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (j1gX1)

186 Ace you are insane. But I will still read all the stuff published at this blog. Except the comments, which are just weird. Except for a couple of the female commenters. Oh well never mind.

/relurks

Posted by: Mongerel at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (YqWfw)

187 Mitt Romney should come out with a giant foam hat and an air horn - to play during every one of Obama's responses.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (kFnmp)

188 Mitt should make liberals cry uncontrollably by demolishing Obama in the next debate, and make liberals' kids cry by pinching them, collect up all their tears, and bathe in them live on National TV.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (6zgse)

189 Before the debate, Mitt should carefully place a Buddha statue on the podium and light a stick of incense.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (QKKT0)

190 @rdbrewer4: Hardball: "Romney has dogs out there barking for him all the time. Obama doesn't have anybody."

Posted by: Evilpens at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (ck76k)

191 Romney should buy a yacht and call it Monkey Business.

Posted by: polynikes at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (m2CN7)

192 What the fuck? I wuz waiting for the preference cascade, and I guess I missed it. Ryan should start wearing a propeller beanie, and Mitt, well, he needs to show up for the debate in blackface.

Posted by: The littl shyning man at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (PH+2B)

193 Fucking Macho Man dollar sign rhinestone glasses. Ryan should start off the debate by throwing out "cash money" to his "peeps."

Posted by: Max Power at October 08, 2012 01:32 PM (+wxCD)

194 Romney calls a presser where he appears with a 3 day stubble, mussed up hair (I know, right?), his shirt unbutton with a bottle of Jack in one hand and a bong in the other and announce he's having doubts about that Mormon shit.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 08, 2012 01:33 PM (TMB3S)

195 After casting their ballots, Romney and Ryan should dress in black paramilitary outfits and "greet" people at their polling stations holding billy clubs.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at October 08, 2012 01:33 PM (4136b)

196 Ryan should say that instead of Obamacare's death panels, his plan will feature panels exclusively devoted to maiming, slow torture, and experimental use of tin-snips.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:33 PM (AZGON)

197 134 I'm still baffled as to why we are worried about retaking the Senate. If we can't even do that, then we are in real trouble. We should be going for 54-55. If Romney wins, we will likely get there. Say, maybe we can even get one in MO.

Posted by: SH at October 08, 2012 05:24 PM (gmeXX)

---

If Romney wins and Reid remains, the American people will have Romney's back. We'll bulldoze the Searchlight Sissy.

Posted by: Craig Poe at October 08, 2012 01:33 PM (BVkEs)

198 I think this one is going to be closer than we all think. Even though Ryan has him outmatched in terms of facts and ideas, Biden is a seasoned debater and is a master BSer.
=============
Which is why Mitt already loaned him his handkerchief.

Posted by: RoyalOil at October 08, 2012 01:33 PM (imtbm)

199 Romney needs to start boasting about how he came from behind to win the last Romney Family Olympics by tossing a midget, "just a cunt hair under thirty feet!"

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at October 08, 2012 01:33 PM (+lsX1)

200 ""I think the election is over. I think it is so over we need a new Latin tense to describe how over it is, the Past Pluperfect Noncontinuing Historical Past Tense.""




As long as you squeeze Biggus Marxus Dickus in there somewhere.

Posted by: Berserker at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (FMbng)

201 God that is funny

Posted by: DizzyMissL at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (8S+r3)

202 Well, I agree it's over.  The other stuff? Maybe not so much... except for the top hat and monocle.. that's how they depict him over at Daily Kooks!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (f9c2L)

203

Greg Gutfeld, talking about Barky's debate performance.....just said:

"He stunk up that place like a Chi-Chi's bathroom."

 

Heh.

They're talking about the prolonged panic mode that Barky and his MQM are in.

 

Posted by: wheatie at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (l5RhJ)

204 Romney should end his closing statement at the Townhall with The Aristocrats!

Posted by: toby928© for TB at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (QupBk)

205 ItÂ’s not off-limits for campaigns to give statements on pop culture subjects, and it can arguably reach young audiences the president clearly needs to pump up. But given President Altitude SicknessÂ’ universally panned performance in Denver last week, should he really be bragging about his ability to face questioning from iCarly anytime, anywhere?

Unless Team Obama thought this was the townhall-style debate the Debate Commission was talking aboutÂ… Hm, they are doing a bunch of huddling this week, perhaps to adjust preparation given this new information. Too bad, because the president had an absolutely whiz-bang answer on why candy corn is his favorite Halloween treat.

Posted by: PeeWee Herman at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (e8kgV)

206

All I  want Romney and Ryan to do is WIN!!

 

The war is NOT over; there will be battles ahead. 

 

Let's not get complacent.

 

 

 

Posted by: LASue at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (pWeX5)

207 Romney Should buy that house in Hawaii Obama is trying to buy, then rent it out to him.

How does a fuckwit with a reported 10million dollar net worth afford a 36 million dollar home.


Posted by: OCCUPY WALLSTEET? FUCK THAT Y'ALL OCCUPY WALL STREET, IMA GO TO HAWAII at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (ovpNn)

208

* Mitt Romney should start wearing a top hat, spats, and a monocle.

 

Thanks for making me smile.

Well played, Mr. Peanut.

Posted by: concrete girl at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (y2Ojs)

209
Personally I like the camptown races better

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012


The camptown ladies?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H2W1lK7P-I

Posted by: Cleavon Sings at October 08, 2012 01:34 PM (rlba9)

210 195 Romney calls a presser where he appears with a 3 day stubble, mussed up hair (I know, right?), his shirt unbutton with a bottle of Jack in one hand and a bong in the other and announce he's having doubts about that Mormon shit. Posted by: JackStraw at October 08, 2012 05:33 PM (TMB3S) _____________________ Aaaah!!

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:35 PM (r2PLg)

211

---If Romney wins and Reid remains, the American people will have Romney's back. We'll bulldoze the Searchlight Sissy.

 

I'm not sure R/R wins and somehow the Dems retain the senate is plausible.

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at October 08, 2012 01:35 PM (R8hU8)

212 I think this one is going to be closer than we all think. Even though
Ryan has him outmatched in terms of facts and ideas, Biden is a seasoned
debater and is a master BSer.

Keep in mind that the expectations for Biden are really low. If he manages not to soil himself onstage, it'll be a victory for him.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at October 08, 2012 01:35 PM (4+LTj)

213 Ryan and Biden at Ragnarok.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at October 08, 2012 01:35 PM (LLtW1)

214 Mitt should put a dog in a kennel and strap it to the top of the campain bus.

Posted by: RUReading this at October 08, 2012 01:35 PM (N0v6e)

215 Wait till you get a load of the place in Hawaii!

3.5 mo months!

Posted by: Big Mama Robinson, The Woman that birthed Moochelle at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (ovpNn)

216 Mitt should ride into the town hall debate on a burro while wearing a serape and a sombrero.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (QKKT0)

217

I think this one is going to be closer than we all think. Even though Ryan has him outmatched in terms of facts and ideas, Biden is a seasoned debater and is a master BSer. Posted by: Kramer

 

Ryan is great at calling Bsers out.  Remember the video of him and Debbie Douchebag.....eye-rolling and everything.  Biden's losing it and will make his usual unbelievable statements.  He has pretty much always gotten away with it but with the state our country is in - I don't think a lot of people are in the mood to listen to Joe being Joe.

Posted by: Cheri at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (EAgmr)

218 It's not over until Moochelle sings.


Posted by: scottst at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (3A5I3)

219 Paul Ryan should shout, " Obama PHO!"  after every one of Biden's answers at the next debate. With gum in his mouf.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (lOmbq)

220 Romney should put on a helmet and do power slides in a M-1 tank , screaming 'hey you short Greek, this is how you drive a fucking tank!!'

Posted by: polynikes at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (m2CN7)

221 At the town hall debate, each time it's his turn to speak he shapes his hands into guns and points them at the questioner.  "Gov. Romney, your response?"  "POW POW POW POW POW!"

During pre-debate handshake, Romney asks Obama to pull his finger.

Romney writes on eye-lids, a la co-ed in Raiders of the Lost Ark, "eat" and "me."

Posted by: angler at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (SwjAj)

222 Ace check your email!!!

Posted by: Truman North at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (eh2Ql)

223 In addition to Snoopy dancing, I'll play this the night of Nov. 6: http://youtu.be/DlHDX_iyfvU

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (V/U0X)

224 Personally I like the camptown races better Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 The camptown ladies? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H2W1lK7P-I Posted by: Cleavon Sings at October 08, 2012 05:34 PM (rlba9) Ladies, races? All the same to me. A movie classic it was

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 01:36 PM (j1gX1)

225 Romney should address Obama as "President N***er" from now until the election.

/I denounce myself.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 01:37 PM (kFnmp)

226 Ryan should, mid-debate, step away from the podium, shed his tie, jacket, and shirt, and declare 'War on Women? I got your War on Women right here" while he flexes his six pack.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at October 08, 2012 01:37 PM (feFL6)

227 215 Mitt should put a dog in a kennel and strap it to the top of the campain bus.

Posted by: RUReading this at October 08, 2012 05:35 PM (N0v6e)


Nah, he shoudl just strap a guy in an obama mask to the roof of his bus...no kennel needed.

Posted by: BO Obama: DON'T EAT ME BRO! at October 08, 2012 01:37 PM (ovpNn)

228

 

 

Um....the Chicken is gone from the sidebar.

Posted by: wheatie at October 08, 2012 01:37 PM (l5RhJ)

229 0bama: Andy Kaufman Romney: Jerry Lawler

Posted by: Dr. Varno at October 08, 2012 01:38 PM (LLtW1)

230 Mitt Romney should show up at the next debate dressed as a fat Elvis impersonator and do the swivel-hipped finger thing at the end of every answer.

Posted by: Fritz at October 08, 2012 01:38 PM (vm7ot)

231 Idiots like Wilbon are still maintaining the lie that Chiefs fans were cheering Matt Cassel getting injured. Stop it!

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 01:38 PM (V/U0X)

232 Romney should announce he will replace Michelle Obama's White House herb garden with coca bushes, cannibis sattiva, and a mushroom cellar for psilocybin varieties. He will douse the rest of the White House grounds with Agent Orange and pave it with asphalt.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:38 PM (AZGON)

233 I liked that one Maher clip so much I made a tinyurl out of it.

http://tinyurl.com/choomsquad

or just choomsquad on tinyurl.

Posted by: scottst at October 08, 2012 01:38 PM (3A5I3)

234 While greeting Obama at the next debate Mitt should go with the 9 part handshake ending with smoking an imaginary spliff.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at October 08, 2012 01:38 PM (4136b)

235

Ryan and Biden at Ragnarok.

 

Pelosi, when the walls fell.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at October 08, 2012 01:39 PM (lOmbq)

236 207 All I want Romney and Ryan to do is WIN!! The war is NOTover;there will bebattles ahead. Let's not get complacent. Posted by: LASue Bingo. "Don't get cocky... kids."

Posted by: backhoe at October 08, 2012 01:39 PM (ULH4o)

237 Romney should wear Vulcan ears at every appearance from now on.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 01:39 PM (kFnmp)

238
Romney should have a cadre of fifty people with vuvuzela to announce his presence.

Posted by: YIKES! at October 08, 2012 01:39 PM (6v/Tu)

239 Romney should put on a helmet and do power slides in a M-1 tank , screaming 'hey you short Greek, this is how you drive a fucking tank!!'


Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Posted by: fluffy at October 08, 2012 01:39 PM (z9HTb)

240 Just to fuck with Obama he should show up at the next debate dressed in a straight jacket and hockey mask and have Ryan wheel him to the podium in a dolly. His answer to every question should be to Obama " I can smell your junk."

Posted by: JackStraw at October 08, 2012 01:39 PM (TMB3S)

241 Mitt should start wearing a giant diamond and gold necklace that reads "Prez R-Money" at every public appearance.

Posted by: shibumi at October 08, 2012 01:40 PM (z63Tr)

242 I'll go ahead and predict Romney even wins Cali. So hows about that?

Posted by: Up with people! A man. at October 08, 2012 01:40 PM (kzFo5)

243 Romney should announce a new campaign motto-- 'A Yucca Mountain in Every State!!"

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:40 PM (r2PLg)

244 Yosemite--Drill It!!

Posted by: tasker at October 08, 2012 01:40 PM (r2PLg)

245 Bingo. "Don't get cocky... kids."

Posted by: backhoe at October 08, 2012 05:39 PM (ULH4o)


WIN FIRST!  Gloat After.

Posted by: BO Obama: DON'T EAT ME BRO! at October 08, 2012 01:40 PM (ovpNn)

246

My fears about the Biden debate:

1. The bar is so low for Biden that they had to use a shovel to put it in place. Simply not shitting himself on stage will be seen as a win.

2. Biden will come out intese to overcompensate for Obama's meekness. People will associate this with strength. He may or may not be wearing a wifebeater.

3. Ryan is flummoxed by the idocy of Biden's statements. Its hard to debate someone who is literally, I mean litterally butchering the facts and the english language like Christoper Columbus on a band of indigenious people.  

Posted by: Jolly Roger at October 08, 2012 01:41 PM (t06LC)

247 POOP Magazine has a long and illustrious publishing career. Do Not besmirch Poop Magazine Ace! ( that was me thinking I'm funny....and scene)

Posted by: Dr. Moreau’s Favorite at October 08, 2012 01:41 PM (iMxCf)

248

 

maybe romney and ryan can come out and do a jack benny and rochester rountine and their next joint appearence

Posted by: kj at October 08, 2012 01:41 PM (9g/ZD)

249 If gas hits 7 dollars a gallon in California, Romney might win the state.

Posted by: BO Obama: DON'T EAT ME BRO! at October 08, 2012 01:41 PM (ovpNn)

250 Romney and Ryan should mysteriously disappear for a long weekend to go "hike the Appalachian Trail" together...

Posted by: ExurbanKevin at October 08, 2012 01:41 PM (AQY+L)

251 52 Coast Guard offloads $36 mil. in cocaine, pot
The Associated Press
Posted : Monday Oct 8, 2012 8:44:22 EDT
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — The crew of the Coast Guard Cutter Resolute has offloaded nearly 3,000 pounds of cocaine and 1,300 pounds of marijuana in St. Petersburg.

The drugs were seized during an operation last month and were unloaded Saturday. They are valued at $36 million.

The Tampa Tribune reported that the cocaine was seized when Coast Guard officials detained a group of suspected drug smugglers in international waters off the coast of Honduras. While onboard, Coast Guard crew members discovered 53 bales covered in a white powdery substance that later tested positive for cocaine.

The marijuana came from a separate incident and was confiscated from a different boat near Nicaraguan waters.


We party tonight!

Posted by: Coasties at October 08, 2012 05:13 PM (j1gX1)



I thought this was for Putin's birthday bash until I reread it and saw the "Fla."

Posted by: cthulhu at October 08, 2012 01:41 PM (kaalw)

252 With every reply during the next debate, Mitt should tell the audience, "Don't  listen to him.  He's just trying to get his dick up".

Posted by: Soona at October 08, 2012 01:41 PM (wwXXR)

253 Romney should pledge to resculpt the new Martin Luther King Jr. memorial statue to include all the women King slept around with while married.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:41 PM (AZGON)

254 BEGONE DAMNABLE SOCK

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright at October 08, 2012 01:42 PM (ovpNn)

255 170 Next debate, Romney shows up in black face.
178 And sings "Mammy"
While waving to Michelle.

Posted by: andycanuck at October 08, 2012 01:43 PM (vDl/w)

256

Mitt should offer B.O. a job standing on his lawn holding a lantern.

Posted by: wth at October 08, 2012 01:43 PM (wAQA5)

257 Romney should declare he will name Carrot-Top as Secretary of State, and move the UN to the Excalibur Hotel in Las Vegas.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:43 PM (AZGON)

258 The drugs were seized during an operation last month and were unloaded Saturday. They are valued at $36 million.


The Tampa Tribune reported that the cocaine was seized when Coast
Guard officials detained a group of suspected drug smugglers in
international waters off the coast of Honduras. While onboard, Coast
Guard crew members discovered 53 bales covered in a white powdery
substance that later tested positive for cocaine.


Posted by: Coasties at October 08, 2012 05:13 PM (j1gX1)


Well...Time to rethink the Financing on that Hawaii 36 million dollar estate Barry!

Maybe an FHA loan?

Posted by: Tony Rezko is sitting in jail so Obama can be President at October 08, 2012 01:43 PM (ovpNn)

259 Romeny and Ryan should both start attending every public meeting wearing full Klan regalia. Just for fun.

Posted by: shibumi at October 08, 2012 01:44 PM (z63Tr)

260 Mitt could say he's visited 57 states.

Posted by: Things Mitt Can Say To Throw The Election at October 08, 2012 01:44 PM (aKgJG)

261 Mitt should offer Obama an internship at the white house so he can learn what a real president does.

Posted by: Tony Rezko is sitting in jail so Obama can be President at October 08, 2012 01:44 PM (ovpNn)

262

Everyone keeps talking October Surprise, as if the Obama campaign is sitting on the most politically damaging piece of oppo research ever uncovered by man. I doubt it. I mean, we're talking about Mitt Romney, right? Mitt Romney: a man whose idea of cutting loose is watching his favorite movie, 'O Brother Where Art Thou' for the upteenth time while having milk and cookies--Oreos, I believe. Seriously. Not making this up.

 

He's a wild man, I tell you. Led Zeppelin took lessons.

Posted by: troyriser at October 08, 2012 01:44 PM (vtiE6)

263 I think Romney should enter the debates with a couple hot babes in Vegas dancer outfits on each arm.. smoking a cigar flamboyantly..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 08, 2012 01:44 PM (f9c2L)

264 Ryan is great at calling Bsers out. Remember the video of him and Debbie Douchebag.....eye-rolling and everything. Biden's losing it and will make his usual unbelievable statements. He has pretty much always gotten away with it but with the state our country is in - I don't think a lot of people are in the mood to listen to Joe being Joe. Posted by: Cheri at October 08, 2012 05:36 PM Absolutely, but what on paper should be a blowout of epic proportions, will end up being a 60-40 style victory for Ryan. Solid, but not overwhelming. But you're right, Ryan is the best antidote for someone like Joe Biden. Who is a better off-the-cuff speaker than Obama, no Uhhs, Umms, etc. Instead he goes into off into complete jargon gibberish, but since he's so sure of himself, and confident, a number of uninformed people believe him. Hopefully Ryan will be calling him out on this.

Posted by: Kramer at October 08, 2012 01:45 PM (lHTEq)

265 Mitt should point at Michelle in one of her loud outfits in the audience and say to Baraka, "You have mustard on your beard."

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2012 01:45 PM (V/U0X)

266 "ace" is just like "Tyler Durden" The actual number of aces and Tylers is indeterminate, but plural.  

Posted by: Meremortal, trend is friend at October 08, 2012 01:45 PM (1Y+hH)

267

"...new Latin tense to describe how over it is..."

 

Nah.  s'been done, mate.

"Obama Delenda Est"

Posted by: newguy at October 08, 2012 01:45 PM (kduZC)

268 258 Mitt should offer B.O. a job standing on his lawn holding a lantern.


OMG.

Freaking hysterical.

Posted by: shibumi at October 08, 2012 01:46 PM (z63Tr)

269 I don't really like how much this thread is veering towards racists memes. 

This could end up badly.

Mentioning the n word, the kkk and blackface might be kind of dumb.

Posted by: Word of Caution from jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright at October 08, 2012 01:46 PM (ovpNn)

270 At the Ryan Biden debate -  Ryan should use his underarms to make loud fart noises after every Biden answer.  Followed by a spritz of Fart-in-A-Can that you can buy at any novelty store.

Posted by: Cheri at October 08, 2012 01:46 PM (EAgmr)

271  plan a campaign event for halloween and pass out packs of candied  cigarettes to all children in attendence

Posted by: kj at October 08, 2012 01:47 PM (9g/ZD)

272

Posted by: troyriser at October 08, 2012 05:44 PM (vtiE6)

___

One of the UK papers posted pics of Romney post debate. Was he firing up a stogie and celebrating with his manz? No, he was making peanut butter and honey sandwiches with his granddaughter.

Posted by: kallisto at October 08, 2012 01:47 PM (jm/9g)

273 OT - Did anyone else notice when Romney said the middle clash has been crushed the last 4 years, you could see Obama almost wince a little - I think Romney was giving a jab at Biden's remark the night before and Obama got it.. hahahhahaha

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 08, 2012 01:48 PM (f9c2L)

274 Romney at the next debate should look at Moochelle and ask "Hey baby, what's the difference between peanut butter and jam?"

Posted by: Bruce at October 08, 2012 01:48 PM (JI+T4)

275 You know why Romney is going to win the next debate as well?

Because of the hard left. How many times have we seen ideas and memes that sprouted on the far left make their way into the Obama administration and campaign?

Because his staff is full of fuckwits who read Kos, FDL and DU like they are gospel.

And their big push right now is that Romney lied, lied, lied in the debate and the only reason Romney won was because the JEF didn't call him on the lies.

And they are insisting that the JEF will win the next debate for all he has to do is call Romney out on the lies.

And you watch--that is what the JEF will do.

And it will be a blood bath that makes the opening scene of Blade look like a light sprinkle.

Because the didn't watch the GOP primary, they don't know that all the lies and flip-flops they think they'll kill Romney with were swung about like dead cats during a full moon and not a one landed anywhere near Romney.

Posted by: RoyalOil at October 08, 2012 01:48 PM (imtbm)

276 Mitt should offer B.O. a job standing on his lawn holding a lantern. --- Hey now. Better be careful or jimi ray's going to post 75 paragraphs on how racist you are.

Posted by: mediumheadboy at October 08, 2012 01:48 PM (aHR5E)

277 Romney should promise to arrive at the inauguration ceremony dressed in Call of Cthulhu cosplay, and when he swears his oath, he substitutes the Bible with a copy of the Necronomicon.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:48 PM (AZGON)

278 During the VP debate, Ryan should have a jar of paste dragged in front of Biden.

Posted by: YIKES! at October 08, 2012 01:48 PM (6v/Tu)

279 I think the October surprise is that Obama starts bombing Libya or someplace else so we'll all rally round the CIC

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 08, 2012 01:49 PM (0nogT)

280 Mentioning the n word, the kkk and blackface might be kind of dumb. Posted by: Word of Caution from jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright at October 08, 2012 05:46 PM (ovpNn) In today's White House "tribute" to Chris Columbus, obama just had to throw in how the evil white europeans almost wiped out the red man. That's like going to to someone's birthday party and taking a huge crap on the carpet and not even saying your sorry!

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 08, 2012 01:49 PM (j1gX1)

281  play the theme song from shaft everytime romney walks on stage

Posted by: kj at October 08, 2012 01:49 PM (9g/ZD)

282 During the VP debate, Ryan should have a jar of paste dragged in front of Biden. *** Ooooh, is it snack time already?

Posted by: Plugz Biden at October 08, 2012 01:49 PM (aHR5E)

283 Biden, his sippy cup empty.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at October 08, 2012 01:50 PM (AL+Ku)

284 Romney should sign an exectutive order outlawing the use of upholstery fabric as womens wear.

Posted by: oh yeah at October 08, 2012 01:50 PM (hX8cq)

285 Mitt could speak Austrian at the debates.

Posted by: Things Mitt Can Do To Throw The Election at October 08, 2012 01:50 PM (aKgJG)

286 One thing I seriously wish R/R wouldn't do is go on SNL. That crap is so over.

Posted by: Sinalco at October 08, 2012 01:50 PM (F1lOF)

287 Romney should insert the word "meow" into every sound bite.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at October 08, 2012 01:50 PM (Agn5J)

288 193 What the fuck?

I wuz waiting for the preference cascade, and I guess I missed it.


Things move quick around these parts.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 08, 2012 01:51 PM (d0Dmj)

289 In addition to the top hat and spats, Mitt should take up smoking huge cigars, and make it a habit of ostentatiously lighting them with $100 bills.

Posted by: Ombudsman at October 08, 2012 01:51 PM (eOufH)

290 Ryan should say there is nothing fishy about his birth certificate. He printed it himself, along with Romney's.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:52 PM (AZGON)

291 Romney should show up at the NRA convention and talk about how much he hates the M1911 .45, but loves the stopping power of his Hi-Point .380.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at October 08, 2012 01:52 PM (SY2Kh)

292 At the next debate, Romney should offer Obama a binky and remark "Don't worry, Biden only used it once. Not in his mouth, though."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:53 PM (AZGON)

293 Mitt could suspend his campaign so we address this crisis in a non-partisan manners.

Posted by: Jean at October 08, 2012 01:53 PM (qjHIb)

294
Romney should give Obama an umbrella as a gift with note that says "Good luck with that".

Posted by: YIKES! at October 08, 2012 01:53 PM (6v/Tu)

295 Romney should allude to a gay porn tape featuring Obama and Harry Reid.

Posted by: Ombudsman at October 08, 2012 01:53 PM (eOufH)

296 Put together an actual Cornbrero outfit and head to a La Raza meeting.

Posted by: DaveA at October 08, 2012 01:54 PM (wcjj2)

297 Mitt could advocate building the Intercontinental Railroad.

Posted by: Things Mitt Can Do To Throw The Election at October 08, 2012 01:54 PM (aKgJG)

298 Romney should announce that he's starting a new Mormon lingerie store, "Ann's Secret".

Posted by: Alex at October 08, 2012 01:54 PM (HwgHt)

299 At the next debate, Romney should show a film of Obama's Hampton U speech and offer to translate, saying "I speak Jive".

Posted by: GatorGirl at October 08, 2012 01:56 PM (Oe0Tl)

300 ryan should come out as emily litellia during the vp debate,on second thought he'd still  look to good against biden...nevermind

Posted by: kj at October 08, 2012 01:56 PM (9g/ZD)

301 Romney could advocate for a restoration of all the classic Sambo's restaurants, out of the National Endowment for the Arts budget.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 01:56 PM (AZGON)

302 I know it's over Still I cling I don't know where else I can go Over Over Over

Posted by: Barack OMorrissey at October 08, 2012 01:56 PM (V/U0X)

303 For the VP debate, the only response to Biden that Ryan gives should be "u mad bro? LOL". 

And yes, actually spell "LOL" out loud.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at October 08, 2012 01:56 PM (SY2Kh)

304 Um....the Chicken is gone from the sidebar. It's enjoying a cigarette.

Posted by: t-bird at October 08, 2012 01:57 PM (FcR7P)

305 At the next debate, Romney should show a film of Obama's Hampton U speech and offer to translate, saying "I speak Jive".

Posted by: GatorGirl at October 08, 2012 05:56 PM (Oe0Tl)

   

"Chump don't want the help, chump don't get the help"

Posted by: Ombudsman at October 08, 2012 01:57 PM (eOufH)

306 "My friends, we have nothing to fear from the re-election of Barack Obama."

Posted by: Things Mitt Can Say To Throw The Election at October 08, 2012 01:58 PM (aKgJG)

307 Romney calls a last minute press conference, shows up twenty minutes late, mounts the podium holding a pair of men's boxers and whispers "...commando..."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 02:00 PM (AZGON)

308 Romney calls a last minute press conference, shows up twenty minutes late, mounts the podium holding a pair of men's boxers and whispers "...commando..."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 06:00 PM (AZGON)

Would those be temple undies?


Posted by: Ombudsman at October 08, 2012 02:02 PM (eOufH)

309 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at October 08, 2012 02:03 PM (6o4Fb)

310 Ryan should wear a secret camera and visit Bidens dressing room with some chicken nuggets and wish him well.

Then in the debate he should ask him How those CHik Fil A nuggets were.

The next day the campaign releases the secret  video via mother jones.

Posted by: Word of Caution from jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright at October 08, 2012 02:03 PM (ovpNn)

311 For the next town hall debate, Romney should take questions only from women, addressing them "Thanks for your question, fatty"

Posted by: Hollowpoint at October 08, 2012 02:03 PM (SY2Kh)

312 At an Ohio rally, Romney should just say:
"As a resident of Michigan, we used to tell people where Ohio was. You head South until you smell it, and once you step in it, you know you're in it!"

Posted by: sgt bazz at October 08, 2012 02:03 PM (Zzm74)

313 Romney should do the Iceman "bullshit cough" at everything Obama says in the next debate.

Posted by: Eisenhorn at October 08, 2012 02:03 PM (CrJzY)

314 For the next town hall debate, Romney should take questions only from women, addressing them "Thanks for your question, fatty"

Posted by: Hollowpoint at October 08, 2012 06:03 PM (SY2Kh)

 

..... "you don't sweat much for a fat chick...."

Posted by: Ombudsman at October 08, 2012 02:05 PM (eOufH)

315 I still think Ryan should just come out shirtless and look in the camera and say:

Hey Girl!
Right now I gotta get to Debating this old guy,
But I would much rather Bedating you.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright is chocking his roosted chicken at October 08, 2012 02:05 PM (ovpNn)

316

305  Um....the Chicken is gone from the sidebar.

 

It's enjoying a cigarette.

 

----------

 

Heh.

Well I'm pretty sure that the chicken was there earlier....

And then...we get this thread which says: "It's Over"....and the chicken is gone.

 

I remember how Ace telegraphed us, about Ryan being picked...by putting up the Cake Girl...with "Ryan" on the cake.

 

 

Posted by: wheatie at October 08, 2012 02:07 PM (l5RhJ)

317 Romney should hold a press conference to announce that if elected, he will launch a criminal investigation into accusations that Obama is "a punk-ass pussybitch".

Posted by: Hollowpoint at October 08, 2012 02:10 PM (SY2Kh)

318 * John Sununu pulls a Glock on Chris Matthews and asks him if his leg will still tingle after he busts one in Matthews' kneecap.

Guess I should stop inviting him over?

Posted by: Chris "tingle legs" Mathews at October 08, 2012 02:11 PM (wR+pz)

319 Romney should announce that if elected he's selected polygamist as his secret service code name

Posted by: kj at October 08, 2012 02:14 PM (9g/ZD)

320 When the good guys are up by 15 with a week to go we can start working on the Romney Style video where he rides a ghost horse while smashing empty chairs with economics books...

Posted by: JEM at October 08, 2012 02:15 PM (o+SC1)

321 316  +

Posted by: PJ at October 08, 2012 02:27 PM (DQHjw)

322 Romney should get a tree chipper and throw baby dolls filled with blood into them, with a T-shirt saying "Abortion ain't my thang"

Posted by: liontooth at October 08, 2012 02:28 PM (xk0Xg)

323 A very funny post the first time, and almost as funny the second time!

Posted by: shoeless hunter at October 08, 2012 02:33 PM (9196u)

324 278 Romney should promise to arrive at the inauguration ceremony dressed in Call of Cthulhu cosplay, and when he swears his oath, he substitutes the Bible with a copy of the Necronomicon.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows poor people don't know how to dress themselves at October 08, 2012 05:48 PM (AZGON)



I fail to see a problem with this.

Posted by: cthulhu at October 08, 2012 02:40 PM (kaalw)

325 I think he should just win, then mock. Best to be safe. Win first, then explain how stupid, loathsome, and anti-American the Left has become. He'll have four years to call them all mouthbreathing soviets.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at October 08, 2012 02:54 PM (SgVM9)

326 That's another good idea - have him occasionally belt out some conversational Klingon - ending his stump speech with God Bless The United States - kPLAH!. Ryan should mock Biden once with "Temba, his Arms Wide!" just in a random spot. Have him mutter something about Tenagra too.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at October 08, 2012 03:00 PM (SgVM9)

327

* Mitt Romney should start wearing a top hat, spats, and a monocle. LOL

 

I'll add:

Mitt Romney should start wearing a top hat, spats, and a monocle. His only public comment from now until the election should be "Hope isn't a strategy. Being rich is."

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at October 08, 2012 03:01 PM (LCZ3l)

328 Hilarious. Thanks for the laughs, Ace.

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at October 08, 2012 03:04 PM (LCZ3l)

329 "Yeah, I know my wife's MS ain't pretty. But, hey! She's got a butthole!"

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at October 08, 2012 03:06 PM (LCZ3l)

330 "I have decided to attend the University of Jah Rastafari."

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at October 08, 2012 03:09 PM (LCZ3l)

331 @37

Thursday night Ryan should step out from behind the podium with his nutsack hanging out of his pants and shout, "Oh shit, Joe check your seat, I just sat in gum!"
Posted by: Gristle Encased Head

Dude, seriously. That's the funniest thing I've read on this blog or anywhere on the Intertubes, ever. Got tears flowing down my cheek right now...

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at October 08, 2012 03:32 PM (zpqa2)

332 That's another good idea - have him occasionally belt out some conversational Klingon - ending his stump speech with God Bless The United States - kPLAH!.

Ryan should mock Biden once with "Temba, his Arms Wide!" just in a random spot. Have him mutter something about Tenagra too.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at October 08, 2012 07:00 PM (SgVM9)


That should make LeVar Burton flip out for good.

Posted by: swimming rabbit at October 08, 2012 03:55 PM (6L4Ey)

333 Romney at the next debate.

http://i.imgur.com/hzYzA.gif

Posted by: Tonic Dog at October 08, 2012 04:05 PM (X/+QT)

334 Romney gets David Mamet to write a custom version of the Alec Baldwin speech from Glengarry Glen Ross and gets in Obama's face with it at the next debate.

Posted by: Mung the Merciless at October 08, 2012 04:32 PM (t6UH3)

335

Funny stuff. I don't think I will be able to watch Romney without picturing him chewing a cigar and announcing-  "So where's your Messiah now, ay? See? Yeah. See? Yeaaahh."

 

 

Posted by: otho at October 08, 2012 04:53 PM (yBF/9)

336 Oh lord, all these ideas are dreadful, but very funny.

Mocking Dukakis in the tank had me LOL, literally!

Also, always nice to see e.e. cummings.

Posted by: jocon307 at October 08, 2012 04:59 PM (GLnQ1)

337 Romney should show up at the NRA convention and talk about how much he hates the M1911 .45, but loves the stopping power of his Hi-Point .380. Posted by: Hollowpoint at October 08, 2012 05:52 PM (SY2Kh) Yup, that would do it. I own a Hi-point .45, btw. Wouldn't use it to infiltrate SMERSH headquarters, but it's a fun gun.

Posted by: troyriser at October 08, 2012 05:01 PM (ptcFO)

338 I think the election is over. I think it is so over we need a new
Latin tense to describe how over it is, the Past Pluperfect
Noncontinuing Historical Past Tense.


So, what the hell are we going to do for a month?


This is what we do: We hammer daily the multiple scandals of The Won through November 6th. Keep Fast and Furious, Benghazigate, Fundraisergate and the lousy, stinking economy and debt in the faces of the American voter.
Watch the debates. Mock. Repeat.

Let us not count our chickens before they hatch or come home to roost, boys and girls.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, unbanned, ready to get this done at October 08, 2012 05:07 PM (baL2B)

339 Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Posted by: #OccupyResoluteDesk at October 08, 2012 05:42 PM (7QU6R)

340 I think he should just win, then mock. So, pillage, then burn. Got it.

Posted by: toby928© at October 08, 2012 06:19 PM (QupBk)

341 Whenever Romney is asked a question by a female reporter, he should work the phrase "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" into his response.

Posted by: Glen at October 08, 2012 07:24 PM (K1CbB)

342 I.m laughin, I'm laughin', Im crying..

Posted by: yakima cannutt at October 08, 2012 10:13 PM (BIX0y)

343 Don't worry, Republicans are really good at screwing up elections, no matter how easy they should be to win.

Posted by: Norcross at October 09, 2012 06:45 AM (4EA5K)

344 I'm still waiting on the graphic, bloody guillotining of Big Bird. Maybe they're saving that for the Ryan-Biden debate.

Posted by: Alice H at October 09, 2012 08:05 AM (jRtPb)

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