Ace of Spades HQ

July 13, 2012

Romney Attack Ad On Obama Paints Him As Soulless Gangster-Government Hypocrite
— Ace

This isn't the toughest conceivable attack ad about Obama, and I think that's okay. I think you have to build to the toughest possible ads, brick by brick. You don't want to sound like a desperate, lying huckster, as Obama does, after all.

Before you get around to Obama's a bad guy you have undermine whatever's left of the Obama's a good guy meme. I consider this add to be in service of that, undermining that stale meme, which was always untrue.

Like let's say you're trying to convince your clueless, guileless friend his girlfriend his cheating on him. Your early efforts should not be "Your girlfriend's a dirty whore whose seen more strange Dick than a later season of Bewitched."

No, your opening gambit should be, Say, where was Stacy last night between 12am and 2am? Kinda vanished on you there, huh?

Maybe you should ask her about that, huh? Maybe she's like a closet diabetic or something and went into a two hour Secret Coma. You want to make sure she's not having bad health issues, right? So, you know. Look into that.

We wouldn't want anything bad to happen to Stacy. She's so lively. So comfortable around strangers, especially good-looking strangers with motorcycles and prison tattoos and a history of restraining orders against them. Oddly excited in their company. Almost alarmingly so.

And what's with all her unaccountable bruising? Maybe she was mugged. Mugged, in her vagina. Hey, it happens. Bath salts and all.

Or-- Is it possible that she just had a seizure? I mean, a seizure in her vagina? That would explain some things.

Maybe stick a wallet in that. I've heard you're supposed to do that.

Posted by: Ace at 04:37 AM | Comments (80)
Post contains 304 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Are we doing away with the morning top headline post now?

Two ace posts before 4pm?

Posted by: General Woundwort at July 13, 2012 04:39 AM (06lNq)

Another good ad.

Question. Why am I not seeing these on TV. Obama ads and pro-Obama PAC ads are on 24-7 here in PA. Aren't we a swing state? Doesn't Romney want to compete here?

Posted by: Ben at July 13, 2012 04:41 AM (C2Y4l)

3 Okay, now I'm scared.

Obviously the Pod People invasion has begun and they've replaced Ace.

Posted by: RarestRX at July 13, 2012 04:41 AM (9ct4e)

4 Hey, leave stacy alone. If he liked it he should have put a ring on it.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 13, 2012 04:45 AM (9TTOe)

5 I disagree with you Ace. I don't think there will be a "tipping" point in this election. It will be interesting to see if your theory is correct. I believe Obama is set to win maybe by a close margin. Why? Because I am very pessimistic , number one, and because I think the White Guilt thing is going to get voters in the swing states. That and Incumbent Inertia, ie voting for the sitting president. Obama still has a huge warchest and though I think Romney is running a relatively smart campaign, I am not sure he can over come the two aforementioned factors. But hey, if I am wrong, you are welcome to margaritas and BBQ hobo on the back porch. Or ValuRite margaritas and BBQ hobo if I am right.

Posted by: San Antonio Rose at July 13, 2012 04:47 AM (Uizbp)

6 Okay Dr Fish, who the hell is Stacy??? That one is totally over my head, and I admit it.

Posted by: San Antonio Rose at July 13, 2012 04:48 AM (Uizbp)

7 My God! It's full of content!

Posted by: Sean Bannion at July 13, 2012 04:49 AM (sbV1u)

8 Still waiting for Romney's Gingrich style beatdown. I hope I'm not waiting for Godot.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 13, 2012 04:49 AM (9TTOe)

9 Off to get my last MRI before the death panels get wind of it. Wish me luck!

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 13, 2012 04:50 AM (j+Izh)

10 @7

I've got to disagree with you.

I think Romney wins in a walk.

Obama literally has no record of achievement to run on, zip, zilch, nada, bupkiss!

I think we are looking at 80' and 84' landslides in both the electoral college and vote share.

Posted by: General Woundwort at July 13, 2012 04:51 AM (06lNq)

11 Wow Oblahblah looks like shit now compared to 2008. How's that Parkinson's coming along, Barry?

Posted by: Plain Jane at July 13, 2012 04:53 AM (SAYgH)

12 Good ad.

I got an email from the Romney campaign looking for $3 bucks for a chance to meet Mitt Romney and his VP pick.

Here's the email:

We're getting ready to share some exciting news. Sometime between now and the Republican convention, Mitt will be announcing his choice for VP.

Know what's even more exciting? Every week until the VP announcement is made, one lucky supporter will win the chance to meet Mitt and his choice for VP.

Doesn't make much sense.. but there it is..

And here's the link to the web page: http://tinyurl.com/chtgyrr

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 13, 2012 04:54 AM (UTq/I)

13 My gut feeling is that independents are ultra-dumb. Not as dumb as a democrat. And you don't need to follow politics to know that socialist mooching and looting is a backwards self destructive way to run a society. Even dumb people like me had that easy shit figured out at about age 15.

Posted by: Hal Burton at July 13, 2012 04:55 AM (iYvMQ)

14 I think Romney wins in a walk.Posted by: General Woundwort at July 13, 2012 08:51 AM (06lNq)

Oh, I dunno about that.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at July 13, 2012 04:55 AM (sbV1u)

15 The tipping point might come after the 2nd quarter GDP growth numbers are revealed at the end of the month. The expectation's been revised down to 1.2%, which means, what? 0.9?

White America isn't that dumb or ridden by white guilt. I predict a 53-46-1 Romney win.

Posted by: JB at July 13, 2012 04:56 AM (xVcWj)

16 Did ace break the interwebs posting this early?

Was anyone else getting the 'service not available' error message?

Posted by: Tami at July 13, 2012 04:56 AM (X6akg)

17 Okay guys forgive me. Think my computer is screwed. The posts before were for the other Ace post, and so when I went back and read the main page, I figured out who the hell Stacy was, that lying cheating whore. Man, 8 days and counting without solid food or caffeine.

Posted by: San Antonio Rose at July 13, 2012 04:56 AM (Uizbp)

18 18 Was anyone else getting the 'service not available' error message?
--
Yes.

Posted by: RioBravo at July 13, 2012 04:58 AM (eEfYn)

19 "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

Posted by: Sean Bannion at July 13, 2012 08:55 AM (sbV1u)

Agreed, but people are alone in the voting booth, and they will feel no pressure from the herd to vote for the articulate Black man who doesn't wear a hoodie.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at July 13, 2012 04:59 AM (nEUpB)

20 Why's the whore gotta be named Stacy?

Posted by: StacyJW at July 13, 2012 05:00 AM (f36ld)

21 You on a special diet, Rose?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 13, 2012 05:00 AM (UTq/I)

22 Stacy used you like she used me, pal. Used me like drilling rig searching for untapped reserves just aching to burst forth and gush.

Posted by: Fritz at July 13, 2012 05:00 AM (/ZZCn)

23 How is Mitt going to counter Barry telling better stories? Why know that's all people are expecting from Barry are better stories.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 13, 2012 05:01 AM (1Jaio)

Rose, how is your mouth???

Posted by: Mama AJ at July 13, 2012 05:01 AM (SUKHu)

25 The tipping point might come after the 2nd quarter GDP growth numbers are revealed at the end of the month.
---
GDP numbers will never be a tipping point. The vast majority of voters will not even be aware of them let alone consider them of importance. GDP numbers do not affect the average voter's perception of anything. The media coverage of the number may affect perceptions...

Posted by: RioBravo at July 13, 2012 05:02 AM (eEfYn)

26 now see, this is why i lurk here. ace'll sometimes bust out and funnybomb the sh!t outta stuff. and the people rejoice.

Posted by: whiskey tango at July 13, 2012 05:02 AM (JvP2I)

27 America. Dude. Obama is just. not that into you.

Posted by: WaldusRe at July 13, 2012 05:02 AM (/HspX)

28 OT: here is a link to TheHill article calling out the RINOs plotting a carbon tax: http://tinyurl.com/6m56lne Inglis of South Carolina seems to be a major player. We need to identify these assholes and put a spotlight on this kind of bullshit before any momentum can even start. Ugh.

Posted by: HungryKitty at July 13, 2012 05:03 AM (IzcCo)

>>Maybe stick a wallet in that. I've heard you're supposed to do that.

Okay, reading Ace over breakfast is...interesting...

Posted by: Mama AJ at July 13, 2012 05:04 AM (SUKHu)

30 obama is a nasty prick. Always was, Always will be. A Prick is a Prick is a Prick.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 13, 2012 05:04 AM (05RcU)

I think Ace is on a bender. May be time for an (ssshhh, ssshhh "intervention")

Posted by: MWTexas at July 13, 2012 05:05 AM (N05oL)

32 Nice ad.

And I hear Stacy's mom is an even bigger whore.

Posted by: Z as in Jersey at July 13, 2012 05:05 AM (frL9O)

33 30
---
So what percent of Republican party officials, spokespersons, and office holders qualify for the RINO tag?

Posted by: RioBravo at July 13, 2012 05:05 AM (eEfYn)

like the ad.

however, thanks for ruining bewitched for me.

Posted by: willow at July 13, 2012 05:05 AM (TomZ9)

35 32 obama is a nasty prick. Always was, Always will be. A Prick is a Prick is a Prick. Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 13, 2012 09:04 AM (05RcU) Unless you are asian than he's a plick. I denounce myself.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Team Dagny at July 13, 2012 05:06 AM (9TTOe)

36 Totally agree Ace. You can't build a house without a foundation and the Romney Campaign is building one heck of a foundation for the ultimate smackdown.

Posted by: David of PA at July 13, 2012 05:06 AM (tPdIW)

37 The pimp hand is strong with this one... this Mitt Romney, Kemosabe....

Posted by: Mjölnir the Banhammer from Hell at July 13, 2012 05:07 AM (Jls4P)

"Your girlfriend's a dirty whore whose seen more strange Dick than a later season of Bewitched."

Not only is Ace up early, he's already at the top of his game......

Posted by: Alamo at July 13, 2012 05:07 AM (m/tN9)

39 Ben, I live outside Philly and the only ads I'm seeing are the great AFP ad about the economy and Obamacare, and the weak Obama ad telling me how much he cares about me. Maybe I just don't watch the same channels as dumb swing voters.

Posted by: rockmom at July 13, 2012 05:08 AM (vvEHK)

40 America, dude, Obama will not respect you in the morning.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 13, 2012 05:08 AM (/HspX)

41 Some chicks digg nasty pricks. Unless they are embarrassing in public. How does the Romney campaign force Obama to beclown himself in public, like a melt-down, and lose the wimmens vote?

Posted by: thunderb at July 13, 2012 05:08 AM (Dnbau)

42 I was not prepared for comedy this early in the morning. Well played, sir, well played.

As an aside, it's Friday the 13th, and I've already seen a black kitteh. Does this qualify as DOOM?

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at July 13, 2012 05:09 AM (t6G7R)

43 And I hear Stacy's mom is an even bigger whore.Posted by: Z as in Jersey at July 13, 2012 09:05 AM (frL9O)

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on...

Posted by: Fountains of Wayne at July 13, 2012 05:09 AM (sbV1u)

44 43 Some chicks digg nasty pricks. Unless they are embarrassing in public. How does the Romney campaign force Obama to beclown himself in public, like a melt-down, and lose the wimmens vote?

Posted by: thunderb at July 13, 2012 09:08 AM (Dnbau)

Belittle him as clownish and incompetent. His ego will not survive it.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at July 13, 2012 05:10 AM (t6G7R)

45 "So what percent of Republican party officials, spokespersons, and office holders qualify for the RINO tag?" Well probably most of them but I'm a firm believer in Milton Friedman's advice that it is up to us to make the wrong people do the right thing. It is up to us to make it political poison to even suggest a carbon tax.

Posted by: HungryKitty at July 13, 2012 05:10 AM (IzcCo)

And what's with all her unaccountable bruising? Maybe she was mugged. Mugged, in her vagina. Hey, it happens. Bath salts and all.

This is why I come here.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 13, 2012 05:10 AM (4df7R)

47 Question. Why am I not seeing these on TV. Obama ads andpro-Obama PAC adsare on 24-7 here in PA. Aren't we a swing state? Doesn't Romney want to compete here?

===

Just back from a Florida vacay. I witnessed the same thing there. Not one Romney ad on the tube. But there was a Barky ad playing every other commercial break. It was disconcerting. What gives?

Posted by: Lady in Black at July 13, 2012 05:11 AM (mn2zp)

48 Rose, how is your mouth???

Posted by: Mama AJ at July 13, 2012 09:01 AM (SUKHu)

Even here that is a strange question

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at July 13, 2012 05:11 AM (mFxQX)

49 Two posts??? What in the bloody hell is going on around here??????

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 13, 2012 05:12 AM (da5Wo)

50 That's the way I like to start my mornin'!

Posted by: dogfish at July 13, 2012 05:13 AM (N2yhW)

51 Two posts??? What in the bloody hell is going on around here??????

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 13, 2012 09:12 AM (da5Wo)

Make that three!

Posted by: Tami at July 13, 2012 05:13 AM (X6akg)

What the fuck??????

Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Ace?

Posted by: maddogg at July 13, 2012 05:14 AM (OlN4e)

53
Just back from a Florida vacay. I witnessed the same thing there. Not one Romney ad on the tube. But there was a Barky ad playing every other commercial break. It was disconcerting. What gives?

Posted by: Lady in Black at July 13, 2012 09:11 AM (mn2zp)

Bammy is buying HUGE airtime, especially in battleground states. It's a sign of desperation, and poor fiscal planning on his campaign's part. Here in NH I see about one Romney ad for every four Barky ads. As we near the end of the summer and the election starts to loom larger, you'll see an increase in Romney ads.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 13, 2012 05:14 AM (4df7R)

Man, Ace, you are en fuego this morning! Kudos to you, sir.

Kudos.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 13, 2012 05:15 AM (zF6Iw)

55 Washington Post Fact Checker blows out Obama campaign claims about Romney lying about his departure from Bain Capital. Pisses me off a little that Kessler cannot bring himself to award Four Pinocchios to anything those weasels do, but at least he gave them three, and his post is very detailed. Kessler used to report on Wall Street and he knows how to read a SEC disclosure. The Boston Globe really covered itself in shit on this one. And so did the Obama campaign.

Posted by: rockmom at July 13, 2012 05:16 AM (vvEHK)

Ok, saw the ad. Not bad, I guess, but not really good, either.

Even having been prepared for it, I'm still wondering "what point is this ad trying to make?"

Seriously, what is it saying?

Obama is ________? Obama has _________?

Seems way to subtle, even for those who follow politics closely.

D+

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 13, 2012 05:16 AM (JDIKC)

57 And what's with all her unaccountable bruising? Maybe she was mugged. Mugged, in her vagina. Hey, it happens. Bath salts and all.

Mother? Is that you?

Posted by: Dr. Smith at July 13, 2012 05:17 AM (VB3qu)

58 That's 'an attack ad'? I don't know, Ace. I mean, it's OK and that, but I was expecting something a lot stronger. This is pretty much a "treading water" kind of ad: "Obama said something, and now he's doing something else." I think after 4 years, that's not exactly new anymore. I get what you mean about having to nurse voters along - baby steps and all that. But the election's less than 4 months away. If voters still are only able to handle this sort of milk and baby food, I don't know if there's enough time left to get them to eating solid, grownup food by November.

Posted by: Dr. Mabuse at July 13, 2012 05:17 AM (KOHFD)

I used to be able to get some work done in the morning while Ace slept.

So much for that.

Posted by: jwest at July 13, 2012 05:17 AM (ZDsRL)

60 Damn my funnybone has a slow response time before that first cup of coffee, but this is some good stuff ace.

Obama -- checking your prostate gland continuously for the last 4 years. And that ain't his finger.

Posted by: GnuBreed at July 13, 2012 05:20 AM (ccXZP)

The tag line at the end:

We expect more from a President

message: Obama is an underachiever, while at the same time making Preezy own his words. Subtle, maybe. But I think it's laying the groundwork for more specifics to come.

Posted by: kallisto at July 13, 2012 05:22 AM (jm/9g)

The best part of waking up,

Is... What the fuck did the Ewok do in my cup?!

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 13, 2012 05:22 AM (JDIKC)

63 64 The best part of waking up,
Is... What the fuck did the Ewok do in my cup?!

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to...

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 13, 2012 05:24 AM (da5Wo)

64 Ace was not scared by his shaddow in the morning sun? You know what that means. Three more months of election bullshit.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 13, 2012 05:28 AM (/HspX)

65 @60 Read what Ace said again. This is a table-setting ad, it isn't designed to be a hit-you-over-the-head-with-a-hammer ad. And it isn't aimed at people like us who want to see "Obama is a SCOAMF" on the screen 24/7. It's aimed squarely at squishy voters who voted for Obama in 2008. Romney has to turn a lot of them to win, and he can, but he first has to make them conclude on their own that the guy they voted for in 2008 because of Hopenchange is long gone and has turned into a snarling, lying SOB.

Posted by: rockmom at July 13, 2012 05:30 AM (vvEHK)

66 Guy at HotAit coined a new term: Bain Birthers

Posted by: rockmom at July 13, 2012 05:32 AM (vvEHK)

67 OMG I wasn't expecting to laugh so much this early.

Posted by: just me at July 13, 2012 05:34 AM (oZfic)

I like the ad. why?

because it points out He didn't mean what He said, back in 07-08.

He fibbed , it's not Bush's fault, He is responsible for His words, He didn't actually apply any standards they Thought They were Voting For.

In fact most of what He said was b.s to seduce them for their vote.

he is not trust-worthy.

just like dating a person that lied to get in your pants, all b.s.

let's say it no, what a bastid! he lied to you!

Posted by: willow at July 13, 2012 05:39 AM (TomZ9)

69 or bain troofers?

Posted by: willow at July 13, 2012 05:40 AM (TomZ9)

70 I wanna nominate this post for some sort of writing award. Pulitzer Prize for Commentary? Deserves it way more than Friedman, MoDo, or Quindlen.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at July 13, 2012 05:43 AM (ZKzrr)

71 I live in Central Florida and I am seeing some Romney ads here. I'm seeing Bammy too, but Romney is getting his shots in there.

Posted by: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain at July 13, 2012 05:45 AM (bj+Nc)

72 Trolls suck... but - heh. At least the real Dr. Smith doesn't play it off like he's everybody's buddy.

That's just pathetic.

Posted by: Dr. Smith, sportin' a blue beret at July 13, 2012 05:47 AM (VB3qu)

73 67 - I get what Ace was saying, I just don't think it's going to work out. It's not like this is the first time that argument has been made. I'm saying that the learning curve is too steep - you can't get "squishy voters who voted for Obama in 2008" where you want them to be in time. If this is ad is really introducing a brand-new idea to them, now, after nearly 4 years of daily life in a decaying America, then they're too far down to be able to make the transition to "Romney will make things better!" by November. Instead of turning squishes into thinking voters, I think the strategy will fall back onto "We have to keep the message at a level they can understand." In other words, they have to be lulled and in the end tricked into doing the right thing. I've never found that strategy to really work when it's been tried, and I've seen it tried before.

Posted by: Dr. Mabuse at July 13, 2012 05:48 AM (KOHFD)

74 I mean, a seizure in her vagina? You say that like it is a bad thing. I think the Head Ewok needs to find a Lady Ewok. Or at least a female Ewok that's willing to don the iron bikini.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at July 13, 2012 05:53 AM (1hM1d)

75 Haven't watched the ad yet, but the post was hilarious.

Posted by: The Chap in the Deerstalker Cap at July 13, 2012 05:58 AM (fscec)

76 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at July 13, 2012 06:41 AM (Xb3hu)

77 Had oral surgery and no solid food for at least two weeks, maybe up to six. No Coke, no hot stuff (like coffee or tea).

Posted by: San Antonio Rose at July 13, 2012 07:20 AM (Uizbp)

78 @28 Amen, this is classic Ace. Awesome humor.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at July 13, 2012 07:20 AM (+XVQe)

79 Well, "Stacy" needs an "e" Â… if we're gonna be talkin about cheatin whorin exes. Just sayin.

Posted by: Barry Jr at July 13, 2012 07:43 AM (cRzgp)

80 What the fuck did the Ewok do in my cup?! I apologize for what may or may not have happened in your cup.