Ace of Spades HQ

December 03, 2012

Rube Goldberg Device For Turning a Newspaper Page
— Ace

Involves fuse-cord and some light hamster cruelty.

Posted by: Ace at 01:34 PM | Comments (61)
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Light hamster cruelty? Paging Barney Frank and Jerry Penacoli...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:35 PM (XkWWK)

2 I have a bad feeling aboot this.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 03, 2012 01:36 PM (jUytm)

3 What's a 'noozpaypur'?

Posted by: El Kabong, RINOINO at December 03, 2012 01:37 PM (sGU4F)

@1:

Jerry wuz framed!

Posted by: kallisto at December 03, 2012 01:37 PM (jm/9g)

5 Involves fuse-cord and some light hamster cruelty.

I'm outraged.

Posted by: Richard Gere at December 03, 2012 01:37 PM (z9HTb)

6 For x = 1 to infinity 'Loading player...' Next x

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat [/i] at December 03, 2012 01:38 PM (feFL6)

7 In unrelated news, ESPN has been ranting against guns all day. Wilbon and Kornheiser were just ranting against the NRA and praising Costas and the fat fuck who called the NRA the KKK.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 03, 2012 01:38 PM (ZPrif)

8 >>>I'm outraged. Posted by: Richard Gere at December 03, 2012 05:37 PM (z9HTb) Right behind you, bro.

Posted by: Zombie Christopher Reeve (self-denouncing) at December 03, 2012 01:38 PM (sGU4F)

9 Hamster? I thought it was Boehner getting tough.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:38 PM (XkWWK)

10 7 Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 03, 2012 05:38 PM (ZPrif) Please, Tony Kornholer is fucking douche.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:39 PM (XkWWK)

11 All that for 1 page?

Seems like time could've been spent elsewhere.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 03, 2012 01:39 PM (UK9cE)

12 Was Belcher an NRA member? Did the NRA buy Belcher his gun?

Posted by: soothsayer at December 03, 2012 01:39 PM (jUytm)

13 Light hamster cruelty? You're speaking my language!

Posted by: Oblig. Richard Gere Joke at December 03, 2012 01:40 PM (I2LwF)

14 hey, but do you know who does buy guns for murderers? Obama does!

Posted by: soothsayer at December 03, 2012 01:40 PM (jUytm)

15 The NRA: We do our part. Oh, wait a second...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:40 PM (XkWWK)

16 Great, now how do I adapt that to my Kindle?

Posted by: Country Singer at December 03, 2012 01:40 PM (92IJx)

17 How the hell did the liquid in the beaker boil so damned quickly?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:41 PM (XkWWK)

18 In unrelated news, ESPN has been ranting against guns all day. Wilbon and Kornheiser were just ranting against the NRA and praising Costas and the fat fuck who called the NRA the KKK.
Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 03, 2012 05:38 PM (ZPrif)

ESPN sucks and I've stopped watching most of that fucking station because it's FULL of liberal fucktards that like to tell me what I'm supposed to think.

Yeah, gimmie more Kenny Mane's dumbass schtick.......no thanks.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 03, 2012 01:41 PM (UK9cE)

19 Spongebob has really gone downhill in the last 10 years.

Posted by: Truman North at December 03, 2012 01:41 PM (I2LwF)

I wonder what that liquid substance was...that dripped out of the little beaker and caused the fuse to ignite?

Posted by: wheatie at December 03, 2012 01:41 PM (CM59X)

21 Hamsters don't like warm air? Weird.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 03, 2012 01:41 PM (QGyiB)

22 I will never watch ESPN because the two bastards Mike and Mike refuse to apologize for their remarks immediately after 9/11/01.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:42 PM (XkWWK)

23 >>>I wonder what that liquid substance was...that dripped out of the little beaker and caused the fuse to ignite? that's one of the bits I didn't get.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2012 01:42 PM (LCRYB)

24 How did the fuse not set off a smoke alarm? I'm guessing that place isn't up to code and the unions should be on site to smash him in the head with a baseball bat very soon.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 03, 2012 01:42 PM (UK9cE)

25 21 Hamsters don't like warm air? Weird. Posted by: Waterhouse at December 03, 2012 05:41 PM (QGyiB) A lot of them like Hot Air. Weirder still.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:42 PM (XkWWK)

26 What's a 'noozpaypur'?

Posted by: El Kabong, RINOINO at December 03, 2012 05:37 PM (sGU4F)

Polly's toilet.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 03, 2012 01:43 PM (TIIx5)

27 Notify the Sparrow King at once of this travesty.

Posted by: El Kabong, RINOINO at December 03, 2012 01:43 PM (sGU4F)

28 I , for one , appreciate the lack of serious hamster cruelty shown in the manufacture of this post .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 03, 2012 01:43 PM (M2+F0)

29 Must've been that algae bio-fuel...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:43 PM (XkWWK)

11 All that for 1 page?

Seems like time could've been spent elsewhere.

Whatcha bet there was a govt Grant for this.

This looks like something that government money would be involved in.

Posted by: wheatie at December 03, 2012 01:44 PM (CM59X)

31 How do we know it was the heat and wasn't the noise of the hairdryer that sent the hamster up the ramp?

Posted by: © Sponge at December 03, 2012 01:44 PM (UK9cE)

32 "The Decline of the West", part deux.

Posted by: tubal at December 03, 2012 01:44 PM (BoE3Z)

33 >>I wonder what that liquid substance was...that dripped out of the little beaker and caused the fuse to ignite?

that's one of the bits I didn't get. Posted by: ace

I'm guessing glycerin into some Potassium Permanganate.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 03, 2012 01:44 PM (JEpGb)

34 Yellow tape done rolled off the fiscal cliff.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 03, 2012 01:45 PM (n/ubI)

35 30 Posted by: wheatie at December 03, 2012 05:44 PM (CM59X) The Robert C. Byrd Memorial Page Turner. Speaking of page turner, I seem to recall something about DC pages a number of years back...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:45 PM (XkWWK)

36 Something else just to make humans even MORE fucking lazy. Great idea. But JOBS!!!!! I'm sure there's a "domino effect devices" union that will benefit greatly from this.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 03, 2012 01:46 PM (UK9cE)

37 How do we know it was the heat and wasn't the noise of the hairdryer that
sent the hamster up the ramp?

Tonight on Mythbusters ....

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 03, 2012 01:46 PM (QGyiB)

38 water dripping onto a reactive substance. some form of sodium?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 03, 2012 01:47 PM (TIIx5)

39 Why isn't this an INXS video ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 03, 2012 01:47 PM (M2+F0)

40 37 Tonight on Mythbusters .... Posted by: Waterhouse at December 03, 2012 05:46 PM (QGyiB) The dude with the beret and the 'stache is totally straight, right?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:48 PM (XkWWK)

41 Please, Tony Kornholer is fucking douche. Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 05:39 PM (XkWWK) He was my Camp Counselor. He is inflicted with that Long Island NY disease, called American Jewish Liberalism. Very common amongst his kind.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 03, 2012 01:48 PM (79ueO)

42 Why isn't this an INXS video ?
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 03, 2012 05:47 PM (M2+F0)

Because Michael Hutchins killed himself in a hotel room attempting to achieve a greater orgasm.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 03, 2012 01:48 PM (UK9cE)

I'm guessing glycerin into some Potassium Permanganate.

What kind of glycerin?

The kind that requires an explosives licence to purchase?

Posted by: wheatie at December 03, 2012 01:48 PM (CM59X)

44 new trayvon thread

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 03, 2012 01:49 PM (piMMO)

45 I will never watch ESPN because the two bastards Mike and Mike refuse to apologize for their remarks immediately after 9/11/01. Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 05:42 PM (XkWWK) What did Mike and Mike say?

Posted by: CharlieSays at December 03, 2012 01:49 PM (2aJHq)

THE FUCKING HEADLINE FROM THE Associated Press:

"GOP 'Cliff' Plan: Cut Medicare and Social Security"

FUCK THE MEDIA FUCK THE MEDIA FUCK THE MEDIA.

Again, that's why the GOP should never BE THE FIRST to talk about cuts. For fuck's sake. Make the dems move first. OR PUT SOMETHING ON THE TABLE THAT WAS BI-PARTISAN, like Simpson-Bowles.

Or the stupid fucking GOP could lead first with cuts so that the lefty media can run and run and run with headlines like this and jam it into the American moron voter's head that the GOP is baaaaaaadddddd and will take you social security and medicare.

THE FUCKING MFM MEDIA SHOULD BE LAUGHED OUT OF THE ROOM. on every occasion.

Posted by: Prescient11 at December 03, 2012 01:50 PM (tVTLU)

47 41 Please, Tony Kornholer is fucking douche.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 05:39 PM (XkWWK)

He was my Camp Counselor. He is inflicted with that Long Island NY disease, called American Jewish Liberalism. Very common amongst his kind.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 03, 2012 05:48 PM (79ueO)

Speaking of Long Island, is everyone there disappeared, or what? Sure got unnewsworthy.

Posted by: tubal at December 03, 2012 01:50 PM (BoE3Z)

48 Speaking of Mythbusters, can we get them to do a show about Leftist compassion and intelligence?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:50 PM (XkWWK)

49 45 What did Mike and Mike say? Posted by: CharlieSays at December 03, 2012 05:49 PM (2aJHq) Words to the effect of trutherism and/or we deserved it.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 01:51 PM (XkWWK)

50 What kind of glycerin?
The kind that requires an explosives license to purchase? Posted by: wheatie

You can do eet with regular pharmacy glycerin, I think. The potassium permanganate can be bought at a chem supply.

The potassium may have been ground down a bit to get a quicker reaction.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 03, 2012 01:52 PM (JEpGb)

51 Wilbon is a flat out racist. Kornheiser is a pervert. scum, both of them

Posted by: beach & a kindle at December 03, 2012 01:55 PM (LpQbZ)

52 In unrelated news, ESPN has been ranting against guns all day. Wilbon
and Kornheiser...
Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 03, 2012 05:38 PM

Standby for Colin Kornbread!!

Posted by: ESPN Programming Update at December 03, 2012 01:55 PM (rzTDZ)

53 Words to the effect of trutherism and/or we deserved it. Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 03, 2012 05:51 PM (XkWWK) Oh, so they're really Dick and Dick.

Posted by: CharlieSays at December 03, 2012 01:57 PM (2aJHq)

54 Rube, you magnificent Bastard!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at December 03, 2012 02:00 PM (ndlFj)

55 What's a newspaper?

Posted by: 4th Term Abortion at December 03, 2012 02:00 PM (x9s9/)

56 A hampster going over the Cliff!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at December 03, 2012 02:05 PM (ndlFj)

Thanks, weft cut.

Heh.

Posted by: wheatie at December 03, 2012 02:31 PM (CM59X)

58 Wouldn't it be easier to just TURN THE DAMN PAGE instead of having to set all that up each time?

Posted by: rickl at December 03, 2012 02:35 PM (sdi6R)