Ace of Spades HQ

March 27, 2012

Shock: Octomom Poses Topless for European Nudie Magazine
— Ace

I haven't been this excited since Smash debuted!!!!

Suleman posed for the magazine because she was late on rent, the website said.
She reportedly made $10,000 for the shoot and interview.
...
"I get way too much male attention, but I wonÂ’t date until the octuplets are 18 Â– I live for them now," she said. "I know a lot of women like male attention, but IÂ’ll go out with no make-up on and wear tracksuits, a wig and even a fake pregnancy stomach to put them off."

Yeah, when I think about the cohort of men who might be interested in putting it to "The Octomom," I'm thinking a Fake Pregnancy Stomach would put them off.

Or, the opposite.

In related news, we're three months overdue on Levi Johnston's entry into gay porn. Or, I suppose, gay porn's entry into Levi Johnston.

Posted by: Ace at 04:39 PM | Comments (105)
Post contains 159 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Does she have 8 teats?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 27, 2012 04:40 PM (Af3Wg)

2 YES - FIRST!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 27, 2012 04:40 PM (Af3Wg)

3 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at March 27, 2012 04:41 PM (7W3wI)

4 I'd hit it but I'd use an alias.And double bag it.

Posted by: steevy at March 27, 2012 04:41 PM (7W3wI)

5 There was a movie about her. "Octopussy."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 27, 2012 04:43 PM (Af3Wg)

6 I really hope she is a democrat

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 27, 2012 04:44 PM (eCnLg)

7 Dude,don't slam Smash until you've tried it.

It is a fantastic show!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 27, 2012 04:45 PM (piMMO)

8 Wearing the fake pregnancy stomach is just plain psycho.

That is just plain crazy.

Posted by: Dustin at March 27, 2012 04:45 PM (z36s0)

9 Can you milk her?

Posted by: nikkolai at March 27, 2012 04:46 PM (pSsN0)

10 Eye Bleach Cleanup on Isle 4

Posted by: Zakn at March 27, 2012 04:47 PM (zyaZ1)

11

Number of ejaculations: 0

Posted by: dan-O at March 27, 2012 04:48 PM (sWycd)

12 Nadya ~ Call me! Have an idea for a reality show: "16 & Cellulite".

Posted by: Kate Gosselin at March 27, 2012 04:48 PM (DATOZ)

13
So if given the choice of banging Octomom, Margaret Cho, or Debbie Blabbermouth Schultz, I'm going with The Chicken.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 04:49 PM (TkGkA)

14 It should go without saying to not look the picture if you're planning on eating tonight...

Posted by: Ellen at March 27, 2012 04:50 PM (4xScK)

15
When will the Octo begin working at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada?

Will $20 for a straight bump be considered excessive compensation?

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 04:50 PM (TkGkA)

16
So Octomom, Kim Kardashian, and another fat ass chick walk into a girly leather bar in El Lay.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 04:53 PM (TkGkA)

17 Like someone said (maybe here?): good God woman, it's a uterus, not a clown car!

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 04:53 PM (PWwbk)

18 How 'bout some naked Jessica Simpson preggo shots? Must have aureolas the size of yarmulkes.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 27, 2012 04:54 PM (Af3Wg)

19 I'd hit it.

Posted by: B Clinton at March 27, 2012 04:54 PM (d+eeq)

20 Tell me again about how refined European tastes are?

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 04:54 PM (PWwbk)

21 Pregnancy does not prove prowess

Posted by: Sandys Fluke at March 27, 2012 04:55 PM (nTgAI)

22 Arrest that white hispanic ho

Posted by: Al Sharpton at March 27, 2012 04:55 PM (OhYCU)

23 I shall fap and then i shall cry in shame.

Posted by: booger at March 27, 2012 04:56 PM (HI6wa)

24
TMZ reported Octomom dated Barney, but was turned off by his rather large and imposing purple dick.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 04:56 PM (TkGkA)

25 she reached 266 pounds. Now she is back to 140 To be fair, 20 of it is in her ridiculous lips.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at March 27, 2012 04:56 PM (OZHvU)

26
Must have aureolas the size of yarmulkes.

You just used two words 50% of the US population probably have never heard...and 0% have heard in the same sentence. Congrats!

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 04:56 PM (PWwbk)

27 I shall fap and then i shall cry in shame. Posted by: booger at March 27, 2012 08:56 PM (HI6wa) More information than I needed to know

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 27, 2012 04:56 PM (eCnLg)

28 O/TWhat time am I going to win the lottery tonight?
When is the drawing and who will call me? I can not wait!Posted by: Peggy Joseph

Back of the line, lady!

Seriously though, we should get the morons to promise if one of them wins the mega they will host an actual Ace-o-palooza in Vegas.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] at March 27, 2012 04:57 PM (qOfw/)

29 Hey, be nice, it's tough out there for a feckless scrunt!

Posted by: joncelli at March 27, 2012 04:59 PM (+MbqG)

30 Trayvons past must be turning up pretty bad. Press is scrubbing the stories. Not helpful to the narrative.

Posted by: Blaster at March 27, 2012 05:00 PM (Fw2Gg)

31

>> "I live for them now"

Heh, best part of the article right there.

What a great mother.

Posted by: dan-O at March 27, 2012 05:00 PM (sWycd)

32
Octomom is one chick we should demand use birth control on our dime.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 05:00 PM (TkGkA)

33 Ace-o-palooza in Vegas.

Side effects may include alcohol-induced fatality.

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 05:00 PM (PWwbk)

34 How far south do you have to go to see how low her tits droop after 8 kids in one pop?

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 27, 2012 05:01 PM (niZvt)

35 Give me another axe in the head....please. I can't take this broad. I'm tired of banging Frieda Kalo.

Posted by: Trotsky at March 27, 2012 05:01 PM (AxHOT)

36
CoolCzech calls them tits, I call them udders at this stage of the milking cycle.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 05:01 PM (TkGkA)

37 Hummingbird don't fly away - fly away If she comes here, we call dibs

Posted by: Seals & Croft at March 27, 2012 05:03 PM (MYQ7K)

38 11 Can you milk her? Posted by: nikkolai at March 27, 2012 08:46 PM (pSsN0) We did, for all it's worth.

Posted by: European Nudie Magazine at March 27, 2012 05:03 PM (niZvt)

39 Given the workout they've received, probably made of vibranium.

Posted by: pep at March 27, 2012 05:03 PM (6TB1Z)

40 Udderly, udderly tasteless...

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 05:03 PM (PWwbk)

41 Jeez, 42 comments and not one has mentioned hot dogs or hallways.

Posted by: Iowa Bob at March 27, 2012 05:04 PM (gIrkv)

42 I hit that so hard her two rows of udders would burst.

Posted by: Fritz at March 27, 2012 05:04 PM (KWdVT)

43 Side effects may include alcohol-induced fatality.Posted by:model_1066

It's Vegas so a tontine would be appropriate.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] at March 27, 2012 05:05 PM (qOfw/)

In related news, Levi Johnston's entry into gay porn is three months overdue.

Uhm, no. Who do you think reads Playgirl anyway?

Posted by: Polliwog, Hobbit Teahada at March 27, 2012 05:05 PM (tD5no)

45 bye bye sock

Posted by: teej at March 27, 2012 05:05 PM (MYQ7K)

46 47 Jeez, 42 comments and not one has mentioned hot dogs or hallways.

Pfft. Her ob/gyn had to go to Home Depot to get a post-hole digger in lieu of a speculum.

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 05:07 PM (PWwbk)

47 Yeah, right, men are just salivating at the idea of doing it with a woman who can give birth to a bigger litter than a labrador retriever. Soooo sexy.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 27, 2012 05:08 PM (Npzzl)

48 I admitted I'd hit Meggie Mac last night. Octomom? Not a chance in hell.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at March 27, 2012 05:08 PM (uISJm)

49
Her ob/gyn had to go to Home Depot to get a post-hole digger in lieu of a speculum.

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 09:07 PM (PWwbk)

And he warmed the digger with a hair dryer prior to use.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 05:08 PM (TkGkA)

50 She's only had sex twice.

Posted by: the bright side at March 27, 2012 05:08 PM (OhYCU)

51 #47 - after 8 kids, it's hot dogs and the Holland Tunnel, not a hallway.

Posted by: vivi at March 27, 2012 05:09 PM (uCx2P)

52 54 I admitted I'd hit Meggie Mac last night.

I haven't seen an invitation to abuse like that since Chris wet himself and slammed the door.

Posted by: pep at March 27, 2012 05:09 PM (6TB1Z)

53 Id rather fap to her than Cindy McCain.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at March 27, 2012 05:10 PM (swkkW)

54 She won't date till the kids are 18 and the government stipends end.

Posted by: vivi at March 27, 2012 05:11 PM (uCx2P)

I really hope she is a democrat

Why? Eight more votes to worry about in another decade.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 27, 2012 05:11 PM (kBe37)

Jeez, 42 comments and not one has mentioned hot dogs or hallways.

The other kids were jealous when I walked out.

Posted by: number Eight at March 27, 2012 05:11 PM (O6q63)

"I know a lot of women like male attention, but IÂ’ll go out with no make-up on and wear tracksuits, a wig and even a fake pregnancy stomach to put them off."

How about a sign saying "I've got eight hungry brats at home."

That should do it.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 27, 2012 05:12 PM (kBe37)

58 Id give the Octomom 18 more kids if the SC finds Obamacare unConstitutional.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at March 27, 2012 05:12 PM (swkkW)

59 I live up to my stupidity, pep

Posted by: Dave in Fla at March 27, 2012 05:12 PM (uISJm)

60 Trayvon's polling went into the cellar overnight.. The powers that be have nuked the story and as it does not help Obumbles win reelection.

Posted by: TheGarbone at March 27, 2012 05:12 PM (O3f8/)

61 She seemingly has the self-awareness of a poster with the hash oZfic . . . Man she looks like hell. I think Photoshop blew up.

Posted by: BlackOrchid at March 27, 2012 05:13 PM (SB0V2)

62 Hey, my sister's best friend writes for Smash!

Posted by: @ParisParamus at March 27, 2012 05:13 PM (mENeG)

63 In related news, Levi Johnston's entry into gay porn is three months overdue. Don't be silly. He waited a long time for the right script so he could really show his range and they are filming right now.

Posted by: Daybrother at March 27, 2012 05:14 PM (WCuHB)

64 I't tit hit that! more than once.

Posted by: Big 'uns! at March 27, 2012 05:14 PM (IBzeA)

65
The Special Prosecutor in the Trayvon case may bypass the Grand Jury and indict Zimmerman without citizen input.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 05:14 PM (TkGkA)

Trayvon's polling went into the cellar overnight.. The powers that be have nuked the story and as it does not help Obumbles win reelection.

Interesting. Have a link?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 27, 2012 05:15 PM (kBe37)

67 One word: fontanel.

Posted by: Areolae Yarmulke at March 27, 2012 05:15 PM (mdhVr)

68 What story will, I wonder, help Baraka win reelection? How much money can they throw at Santorum to stick around and go on news shows? Also, tangentially on topic, I'm involved in a few infertility advocacy thingies. They're about to have a big push on Washington to get a federal mandate for IF coverage. Yeah, so let a million Octomoms bloom!

Posted by: BlackOrchid at March 27, 2012 05:15 PM (SB0V2)

By European standards of thinking, does the fact that Octomom posed topless now qualify her for a Nobel Peace Prize?

Two of 'em.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 27, 2012 05:15 PM (kBe37)

70
Any truth to the rumor that John-John Edwards was interested in the Octo?

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 05:15 PM (TkGkA)

71 And here I thought Levi was about to complete his three month apprenticeship as a fluffer.

Posted by: Fritz at March 27, 2012 05:15 PM (KWdVT)

72 I'm curious how much airbrushing they had to do to remove the callouses from her tits.

Posted by: Bill H at March 27, 2012 05:16 PM (3sZO1)

73 They're about to have a big push on Washington to get a federal mandate for IF coverage. Color me unsurprised. How far behind can breast augmentation be?

Posted by: Dave in Fla at March 27, 2012 05:17 PM (uISJm)

74 Comeon guys,she's only given birth to 14 kids.She's tight.

Posted by: steevy at March 27, 2012 05:18 PM (7W3wI)

75 Doing Octomom would be the closest thing to fathering piglets that a guy could get, I suppose.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 27, 2012 05:18 PM (niZvt)

76 Come on Cohaagen. You got what you want. Give these people air!!

Posted by: quade at March 27, 2012 05:19 PM (GTbGH)

77 53 Yeah, right, men are just salivating at the idea of doing it with a woman who can give birth to a bigger litter than a labrador retriever. Soooo sexy.

Geez...every time I get nice and settled in my bully-dog finds something to freak out about...and I go ahead and say something embarrassing in front of the neighbors like 'whacha woofin' at, mooper?'

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 05:20 PM (PWwbk)

78 82 Comeon guys,she's only given birth to 14 kids.She's tight. Posted by: steevy at March 27, 2012 09:18 PM (7W3wI) Think of it as an astronaut taking a spacewalk without a tether.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 27, 2012 05:21 PM (niZvt)

Comeon guys,she's only given birth to 14 kids.She's tight.

She's also out-reproduced the entire continent of Europe.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 27, 2012 05:21 PM (kBe37)

80 If you're into fisting,she's the gal for you.You could get into her like a sleeping bag.

Posted by: steevy at March 27, 2012 05:22 PM (7W3wI)

81 81 They're about to have a big push on Washington to get a federal mandate for IF coverage.

And octomom's going to be having a pig bush on.......

/denounce myself

Posted by: model_1066 at March 27, 2012 05:22 PM (PWwbk)

82
With the choices Octomom or Sir Edmund Hillary Rodham Clinton, it could well be a toss-up? Or maybe a monkey spank.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 05:23 PM (TkGkA)

83 Help me find my car keys and we'll drive out

Posted by: the other guy trapped in octomom's vagina at March 27, 2012 05:23 PM (2jQGY)

84
Fat folks lose their TV clickers in fat rolls, and the Octomom loses her clicker....

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 05:24 PM (TkGkA)

85 Is it just me, or does Octosow look a lot like this guy? http://tinyurl.com/cr37quy

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 27, 2012 05:25 PM (niZvt)

86 92 Fat folks lose their TV clickers in fat rolls, and the Octosow loses her ~~clicker~~ offspring... Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 27, 2012 09:24 PM (TkGkA) FTFY

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 27, 2012 05:29 PM (niZvt)

87 I'm tired of banging Frieda Kalo.

Unibrows are hot.

Posted by: toby928© at March 27, 2012 05:29 PM (GTbGH)

88 Oderus Urungus's "Cuddlefish of Love" would find her cooch pretty roomy.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's solid gold diaphragm at March 27, 2012 05:38 PM (0d0K7)

89 Octomom Fun Fact:

In addition to delivering eight children, obstetricians recovered a team of French spelunkers thought to be lost from an expedition launched in 2008.

Posted by: Fritz at March 27, 2012 05:40 PM (KWdVT)

90 Breeder cons, thought that was your type of woman.

Posted by: Rick at March 27, 2012 05:44 PM (HJxyA)

91 Whoa! Trayvon Martin case far less clear-cut now that shooterÂ’s story has come to light http://goo.gl/bzYb1

Posted by: mike at March 27, 2012 05:53 PM (RIT3J)

92 I love it. There are now a number of stories in the msm about "second thoughts." Yet, the stupid ass prosecutor is going to charge him without a grand jury indictment ????

Posted by: mike at March 27, 2012 05:55 PM (RIT3J)

93 Little known true fact that didn't make it into the article: She was paid $10K to do the shoot, but is being sued for $85K by the photographer, as a result of him being struck blind. She'll probably still be late on her rent.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 27, 2012 05:59 PM (wMsKw)

94 ""We stepped into this case Thursday night," Corey told The Times. "We're asking -- we're begging people -- just give us a chance." In a sign of how feverishly her team is working on the case, Corey said her probe could possibly result in state charges that bypass the need for the Seminole County Grand Jury, which is slated to convene April 10 to hear the case." http://goo.gl/7ca1r Wow, railroad much? The delay is in her and her team trying to get around a GJ because they may not return an indictment? And this is suppose to be fair?

Posted by: mike at March 27, 2012 06:07 PM (RIT3J)

95 "I just pinged back into shape like a rubber band." Nadya 'Boy-yo-yo-yo-yo-yoiiinnnggggg' Suleman

Posted by: Mike James at March 27, 2012 06:42 PM (spLGA)

96 Isn't Suleman a Muslim name? No I haven't read any previous comments, and barely know who she is.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at March 27, 2012 06:53 PM (i0App)

97 >>>She's tight. Posted by: steevy at March 27, 2012 09:18 PM (7W3wI) Wouldn't that sort of be like throwing a cocktail weenie into the Chunnel?

Posted by: Bill H at March 27, 2012 07:38 PM (3sZO1)

Why am I picturing one of those stray female dogs in Mexico?

Posted by: Minnfidel at March 27, 2012 07:43 PM (RJ8yG)

99 The centerfold is 5 pages long.

Posted by: Guy N. Cologist at March 27, 2012 09:17 PM (xYZnb)

100 I think I'll take the Sun's Page 3 girl
they are pretty and young, not used up and disgusting

Posted by: william in nc at March 27, 2012 10:03 PM (nhlz8)

101 What's wrong with her face?

Posted by: Mr. Obvious at March 28, 2012 03:45 AM (ndlFj)

102

I don't think she looks that bad. But the turn-off for me isn't her looks it's the freaking attitude and the baggage.

Posted by: MoeMoe at March 28, 2012 05:07 AM (cey9b)

103

She's not bad for having 8 kids. Not good enough to have to put up with the weirdness though.

Posted by: Jimmah at March 28, 2012 05:44 AM (UpwlP)

104 Has anyone looked closely at the URL that shows up on the first link?

Posted by: Gerry at March 28, 2012 06:15 AM (VCInh)

105
She doesn't look too bad in those photos.

And I would hit it. It would be a bag it and tag it, if you will.

But I'd tell her my name was "Ace of Spades".

You're welcome.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at March 28, 2012 07:23 AM (1hM1d)

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