January 02, 2012

Steel Panther, The Greatest Band Ever
Bumped From Friday
— Ace

Iowahawk mentioned on Twitter that he was ready to do some headbanging at a "Steel Panther" show.

I accused him of making it up. No heavy metal band would be so stupid to call themselves Steel Panther. It's just too dumb. Even for metal.

He told me to google it, so I did. At which point I suggested there was an elaborate hoax afoot, most likely some viral marketing for an energy drink or something. No one poses like that anymore. No one was even that cheesy in the 80s.

Well, they're real. They actually do shows and stuff.

The idea of the band seems to be to take Spinal Tap and Tenacious D and turn them to 11 -- and by the way, don't even bother with cheesy sexual metaphors; just write songs explicitly about "boners" and "boobs" -- and make it real.

I'm linking some of their best (and I use this word advisedly) stuff below. It's all very NSFW. Maybe for later. "Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)"

Yes, that's a whale joke. And that's one of the more elevated jokes.

"Death To All But Metal"

This rips off like five different songs.

Every metal band released a hard-rocking single first, then followed it up with a romantic power ballad, for the girls. It was always this second single that shot the band to the top of the charts; it became completely obligatory.

Anyway, Steel Panther isn't all about metal and boobs and sex. They also have a romantic side. As exemplified here, in

"Weenie Ride"

One of their cleverest songs is "Tomorrow Night," about the greatest party in the century, with naked people and Charlie Sheen, but it's going down, unfortunately, tomorrow night. Tonight, on the other hand, is kind of lame.

How perfect is that album cover? Incredible. Their previous album had a title nearly as good: Feel the Steel.

For this one I think they just went over their old WASP albums and thought, "What's the stupidest possible song we could write about Hell?" And they came up with

"Hell's On Fire"

Why yes. Yes, Hell is on fire. Good call.

Oh I could go on all day. In terms of increasing offensiveness, you can also check out "It Won't Suck Itself," "Eatin' Ain't Cheatin'," "The Shocker" and "Critter."

That's right, It Won't Suck Itself is the least offensive on the list. Because that, at least, is an attempt at an extremely thinly disguised metaphor for sex. (See, he gets bitten on his penis by a rattlensake, and you, the hot chick, has to suck out the venom. Later he gets stung by a scorpion in the same exact place. And he keeps getting bitten on his penis while he's banging you.)

But that's them working at a very high level, attempting metaphor and such. Most of the time they can't be bothered with pretentious devices like that, so they just sing, flatly, about vaginas and boners and dongs and big boobs. And The Shocker.


Oh: In case you were saying, "I dig the stupidity, pro-drug messaging, misogyny, homophobia, and nonstop degrading sexual material, but where's the racial offensiveness?," they cover that too, with the very subtle "Asian Hooker."

Posted by: Ace at 01:22 PM | Comments (389)
Post contains 552 words, total size 4 kb.

1 They also have a romantic side. As exemplified here, in

"Weenie Ride"

You don't say!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at December 30, 2011 10:25 AM (YdQQY)

2
Some of you owe me a left nut.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 10:25 AM (sqkOB)

3 For the record: we've never said "just what it says on the tin" Cheers &etc.

Posted by: They at December 30, 2011 10:25 AM (h6mPj)

4
hahaha @ Balls Out

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 10:25 AM (sqkOB)

5 Heard them interviewed on the Carolla podcast months ago. I thought they only played in LA and LV.

Posted by: Oschisms at December 30, 2011 10:25 AM (K8p6f)

6
Their next album shoulda been titled...

Balls Deep

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 10:26 AM (sqkOB)

7 Frankly, I think we need a law banning Steel Panther.

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 10:26 AM (Xm1aB)

8 you've sometimes said it, They. I've heard you say it.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 10:26 AM (nj1bB)

9 I like the cut of their jib.

Posted by: kevlarchick at December 30, 2011 10:26 AM (+dlqq)

10 Hey, I thought you were takin the day off, Ace. .....Aw, you came back and gave us a fun thread. That's so sweet.

Posted by: wheatie.....diehard Perry supporter at December 30, 2011 10:27 AM (oPkw3)

11 This is the stuff Dick Cheney listens to as he's plotting to take over the world, *insert evil laughter*. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 30, 2011 10:28 AM (9hSKh)

12 Look this band sells out... They use to be at this off-off strip casino... And cripes have you seen their poster!?!? We double over laughing every time we see it. Anyways-they sell out. Their fans show up all in black spandex for some reason... I think they have actually moved to a bigger venue.

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 10:28 AM (r2PLg)

13

Jeebus! Mitt has serious competition in the suck department. Those clowns can't be for real. They're worse than the cheesy fucking hair bands of the 80's.

Whats next? Bring back Disco. Kill me now.

Posted by: maddogg at December 30, 2011 10:29 AM (OlN4e)

14 Irving Plaza Jan. 4? Oh, hell yes.

Posted by: Oschisms at December 30, 2011 10:29 AM (K8p6f)

15 Okay, I admit it. Weenie Ride is a classic.

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 10:29 AM (Xm1aB)

16

The first time I saw Steel Panther was in a Freddy Wong video, where he remade the commercial from the old "Crossfire" board game:

Freddy Wong ft. Steel Panther

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 30, 2011 10:30 AM (DiqH3)

Posted by: Rick Dees at December 30, 2011 10:31 AM (YdQQY)

18

13 maddogg,

Maybe it's just me.....but Mitt's profile reminds me of Beavis's, from Beavis & Butthead. ....And then I saw Mitt's walk. Damn if it isn't just like the way those guys walk.

Posted by: wheatie.....diehard Perry supporter at December 30, 2011 10:32 AM (oPkw3)

19 Ace to the rescue!

Posted by: Truman North at December 30, 2011 10:32 AM (I2LwF)

20 Steel Panther? First thing I thought when I saw the name was the fictitious band in the Mark Wahlberg movie "Rock Star" but I looked it up and that was Steel Dragon.

After listening to some of the clips posted, Steel Panther sounds like the types of metal bands that were coming out in the late '80s right before the whole "Hair Metal" genre collapsed. I was a headbanger in the '80s but I liked the artists that were popular in the early to mid-'80s, not the crap in the late '80s, like Warrant, Slaughter, and Poison. To the unsophisticated listener, all '80s metal was the same but there was a difference in quality between the stuff prior to '87 and the stuff '87 and later. Steel Panther definitely sounds like the metal bands of the latter period.

Posted by: Slappy at December 30, 2011 10:33 AM (LTbLf)

21 >>>I think they have actually moved to a bigger venue. Yeah they're actually about to explode. It turns out they're a pretty big thing. I just never heard of them.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 10:33 AM (nj1bB)

22 I think they are parody and the fans kind of get it. It's like a bunch of kids that wish they didn't miss the hair bands of the 80s. And they get tons of girl fans in black spandex-again I have no idea what that's about. And they all do their hair in that big style whatever.

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 10:33 AM (r2PLg)

23 Saw them in Philly in November, have known about them for a few years. This band is unbelievable. If you have the chance, SEE THE SHOW. People call them a spoof band, they don't know what they're talking about. In terms of raw musical talent, they're hard to match. Check out the video for "If You Really, Really Love Me," in addition to what Ace posted. Also, their cover of "I Want It That Way" is incredible (yes, the Backstreet Boys song).

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 10:34 AM (OYaaT)

24 Never a big metal fan, but I always thought Metallica and Judas Priest rocked hard.

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 10:34 AM (Xm1aB)

25 Yeah they're actually about to explode. It turns out they're a pretty big thing. I just never heard of them. Seriously? We were wondering what happened to them...they use to come all the time-er that's unfortunate- visit this casino near base in LV.

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 10:35 AM (r2PLg)

26 Butthead says "uh--huh-huh-hehehe, uhhh... this is more awesome t han anything that has ever been awesome before, Beavis."

Posted by: SamInVA at December 30, 2011 10:35 AM (rFiOs)

27

Nuthin says 'romance' to a girl like hearing "Gonna take your ass for a weenie ride".

Hold me back. Can't resist that!

Posted by: wheatie.....diehard Perry supporter at December 30, 2011 10:35 AM (oPkw3)

28 Yeah they're actually about to explode. It turns out they're a pretty big thing. I just never heard of them.

If you look at their play schedule on their web site the closest East they are coming is Las Vegas.

Posted by: Rick Dees at December 30, 2011 10:35 AM (YdQQY)

29

Maybe it's just me.....but Mitt's profile reminds me of Beavis's, from Beavis & Butthead. ....And then I saw Mitt's walk. Damn if it isn't just like the way those guys walk.

Posted by: wheatie.....diehard Perry supporter at December 30, 2011 02:32 PM (oPkw3)

Mitt gets a corncob driven up his ass every morning to hold down the mincing.

Posted by: maddogg at December 30, 2011 10:35 AM (OlN4e)

30 oops sock off.

Posted by: Vic at December 30, 2011 10:36 AM (YdQQY)

31 I'm pretty sure this is all legal since Lawrence v. Texas.

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 10:36 AM (Xm1aB)

32 wte9 OK what in the hell is with the black spandex-I mean it's an army of fans all wrapped up in that... Shit they aren't parody-the poster I swear we would almost hit the casino floor laughing our asses off...

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 10:37 AM (r2PLg)

33 So they're the GWAR of hair bands?

Posted by: SoupOrMan at December 30, 2011 10:38 AM (J991N)

34

"A Pretty Big Thing"

 

That sounds like a song waiting to be written. 

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes.... at December 30, 2011 10:38 AM (sJTmU)

35 As far as heavy metal goes, I'm a fan of Bismuth and Tungsten.

Posted by: Truman North at December 30, 2011 10:38 AM (I2LwF)

36 I'm pretty sure this is all legal since Lawrence v. Texas.

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 02:36 PM (Xm1aB)

Yeah but if they pas that POS SOHA law it will not be.

Posted by: Vic at December 30, 2011 10:38 AM (YdQQY)

37

first, booby links all over last thread and now this...and all I can see is :

In order to enhance network security and performance, website usage that may pose security risks, or may significantly degrade network performance is being blocked at the [Redacted] network perimeter. Authority for these actions is granted in the following regulations:

AR25-1 Army Knowledge Management and Information Technology Management AR25-2 Information Assurance DoD Directive 5230.9 Clearance of DoD Information for Public Release

I wanna go home !

Posted by: Cu'Chulainn at December 30, 2011 10:38 AM (lOnIe)

38 I've had the first album for a while (or did until a buddy borrowed it -- should have known better). My favorite is "Community Property." Unfortunately, the one on YouTube is the clean version.

Posted by: Prof. Mondo at December 30, 2011 10:39 AM (Y4sih)

39 Pikers.

Posted by: Molybdenum Tabby at December 30, 2011 10:39 AM (uIz80)

40 Son of a bitch.

My reaction was the same when I saw their site.  I thought it had to be some sort of joke.  I had never heard of them at all.

Then I saw "Death to all but Metal" and realized that I had already heard them before.  I even banged my head a little to that song.  SIGH.

Posted by: Sortelli at December 30, 2011 10:39 AM (teWAK)

41 7
Frankly, I think we need a law banning Steel Panther.

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 02:26 PM (Xm1aB)

I AGREE!!!...FOR THE CHILDREN!!!eleventy!!11!!

Posted by: Tipper Gore at December 30, 2011 10:39 AM (6DDE+)

42 So, Ace you want to have long hair and wear scarves??? Don't you think that look is, I dunno, dated?

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 10:39 AM (rDDiL)

43 >>> In terms of raw musical talent, they're hard to match. Yeah they actually are good technically. The singer has that Heavy Metal voice, and the guitarist is very good. >>.If you look at their play schedule on their web site the closest East they are coming is Las Vegas. I thought I saw some NY and philly dates.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 10:39 AM (nj1bB)

44 Seeing them at Irving Plaza in NYC (sold out) next week. Can't wait!

oops I missed that. You're right they are playing NYC and Philadelphia on the 4th and 5th. .

Posted by: Vic at December 30, 2011 10:40 AM (YdQQY)

45 Nothing wrong with this band that a couple of umlauts couldn't fix.

The chick on the "Balls Out" cover should definitely be forced to smell the glove.

Posted by: Cerebral Paul Z. at December 30, 2011 10:40 AM (OkKwQ)

46

Mitt gets a corncob driven up his ass every morning to hold down the mincing.

You mean.....bunghole?

Must have teepee. .....Teepee for my bunghole.

Posted by: Cornholio at December 30, 2011 10:41 AM (oPkw3)

47 tasker Don't be fooled. The music's ridiculous. Obviously. But they've got more than two original albums, and the songs rock hard.

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 10:41 AM (OYaaT)

48 Also, the guitarist is actually one of the old shredders from the Shrapnel label, so they know that of which they play.

Posted by: Prof. Mondo at December 30, 2011 10:41 AM (Y4sih)

49 Next thing you know, Ace'll be pushing Peelander-Z...look it up.

Posted by: billygoat at December 30, 2011 10:41 AM (6DDE+)

50 This is priceless! Thanks, Ace. It ain't gonna suck itself, ya know!

Posted by: twiceblessedmom at December 30, 2011 10:42 AM (HjxoE)

51 "Hey, I thought you were takin the day off, Ace." Apparently, this ban gave Ace a real boner which he just had to share with us. Thanks, Ace!

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 10:42 AM (rDDiL)

52 I tweeted to the drummer, "Stix Vandinia," that I have a song for him. It's called "Cockring," about the world of high-stakes underground cockfighting, and also about wearing a cockring. One thing is that they don't actually hit all the Four Basic Food Groups of metal enough. They do so many songs just about sex, they don't do, for example, the Gambling/Bad Behavior song (Ace of Spades by Motorhead, for example), or the stupid sci-fi power fantasy type songs, or the Hell songs. I know they do that one, but that's really a staple of heavy metal.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 10:42 AM (nj1bB)

53 Subtext --- how far East will they get?

Posted by: Jornolist at December 30, 2011 10:42 AM (fpjGP)

54

On their Wikipedia page, they have confirmed that among their upcoming singles, there is one titled, "Tongue Punch in the Fart Box."

You just can't put too high a price on artistic integrity like that.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 30, 2011 10:43 AM (DiqH3)

55 These guys have always packed shows on the west coast - some years before being "steel panther" they were called Metal School. Caught them in Chicago - great show, saw tits. Finally, their drummers name is Styx Zadinya (something like that - say it out loud). His dad? Pops Zadinya. It's pretty great.

Posted by: emaugust at December 30, 2011 10:44 AM (E8wmM)

56 They'll be on world tour opening for Spinal Tap this spring.

Posted by: Jimmah at December 30, 2011 10:44 AM (TMeYE)

57 Do they do fire? Or, is that no longer a staple of metal bans after all those people died?

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 10:44 AM (rDDiL)

58 oh shit I forgot to link Asian Hooker, which I have to link because it explores a whole new area of humor -- racial offensiveness. I'll put it up now.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 10:44 AM (nj1bB)

59 Another classic: F*ck All Night, Party All Day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHHrQDt8Ysg

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 10:44 AM (OYaaT)

60 That's the best thing I ever saw.

Posted by: Phillip J. McFry at December 30, 2011 10:45 AM (E7yM+)

61 I bet Anvil is pissed!!! And you guys are slowing down. Only four bash Romney comments on this totally unrelated thread. Come on pick up the pace.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at December 30, 2011 10:46 AM (BsXKJ)

62 wte9 Damn you should have seen the posters-really looked like parody of Spinal Tap-if that's possible.

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 10:46 AM (r2PLg)

63 To be true metal icon, they need to either 1.) use gothic fonts exclusively, or 2) use that goofy German umlaut over one of the vowels in their name.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at December 30, 2011 10:46 AM (iAUf+)

64 You know....they didn't have a lot of Asian fans...mostly white chicks-wth?

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 10:47 AM (r2PLg)

65    Less objectionable than rap, I guess. Still sounds like discordant cacophony, imho.

  Now all of ya can get off my lawn.

Posted by: irongrampa at December 30, 2011 10:48 AM (SAMxH)

66

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at December 30, 2011 02:46 PM (BsXKJ)

You can't call me slacker. I'm responsible for 50% of the bash Romney comments on this unrelated thread.

Posted by: maddogg at December 30, 2011 10:48 AM (OlN4e)

67 Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 02:44 PM (OYaaT)

Meh...sounds like Bon Jovi...

Posted by: billygoat at December 30, 2011 10:48 AM (6DDE+)

68 This wd be an easy Halloween costume: wig, eye makeup, ripped clothes, toilet paper around wrists. They are right about Burbank. lol!

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 10:48 AM (rDDiL)

69 Watching a world famous marine biologist (Ted Danson) being interviewed on TV. Yet none of his interviewers (a gaggle of vauguely familiar women) will ask him how much time left till the ocean is devoid of life, as per his prediction.

Posted by: Jimmah at December 30, 2011 10:48 AM (TMeYE)

70 Finally, their drummers name is Styx Zadinya (something like that - say it out loud). LOL!

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 10:49 AM (r2PLg)

71 Wow, some people are really desperate to have shitty '80s glam metal back.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 30, 2011 10:49 AM (jbVeA)

72 Check out their webisodes about the photoshoot for Balls Out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFJdv4hMNYA; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHVKVxrjLNc&feature=relmfu. They're also supposed to be self producing a TV show after a pilot didn't get picked up by Comedy Central.

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 10:50 AM (OYaaT)

73 It's about time someone got f*cking serious about metal.

Posted by: Fritz at December 30, 2011 10:50 AM (FabC8)

74 ohhh... stix zadinya, okay, I didn't get that.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 10:50 AM (nj1bB)

75 This. Is. Awesome.

Posted by: brak at December 30, 2011 10:51 AM (p5Ncj)

76 billygoat It's on purpose.

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 10:51 AM (OYaaT)

77 #68 well y'all did try to tie it into Beavis and Butthead which is tied to cheesy hair bands. Six degrees of bashing.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at December 30, 2011 10:51 AM (BsXKJ)

78 This is what The Darkness wanted to be, but never quite was.

Posted by: booger at December 30, 2011 10:52 AM (EjNp5)

79 Somebody's got a bromance...somebody's got a bromance...

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 10:52 AM (rDDiL)

80 I will say it looked like these guys were bangin' some buck.

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 10:52 AM (r2PLg)

81
"Asian Hooker" would be a great idea and title for a private investigator series.

She's an Asian hooker who, get this, solves crimes and shit.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 10:52 AM (sqkOB)

82

Wow, some people are really desperate to have shitty '80s glam metal back.

Sure why not? I had a lot of fun back then. Sex, drugs and Reagan was president.

Lighten up, Francis.

Posted by: madtechie at December 30, 2011 10:53 AM (Tzi1U)

83
I'm serious.

She gets her info while giving guys beenies.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 10:53 AM (sqkOB)

84 saw them in Vegas not too long ago. My friend intro-ed them to me because of their "Girl from OKC" song (i live in Tulsa).

Posted by: MikeInBA at December 30, 2011 10:53 AM (Q9Fr6)

85 Wow... catchy!

Posted by: Pipe Holder at December 30, 2011 10:54 AM (VTeUD)

86 It's on purpose.

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 02:51 PM (OYaaT)

Thanks!...guess I'll have to wade in deeper..........

Posted by: billygoat at December 30, 2011 10:54 AM (6DDE+)

87 >>>This is what The Darkness wanted to be, but never quite was. Yeah but they weren't really like this. They were more of a silly homage, but they were still like a real band. Steel Panther is just ridiculous.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 10:54 AM (nj1bB)

88 You wouldnt believe, i think, i know the lead singer WAS last time i checked, but i think all of the members are married too.

Posted by: MikeInBA at December 30, 2011 10:54 AM (Q9Fr6)

89 Hey, who DOESN'T love asian hookers?

I mean, c'mon.

Posted by: kinlaw at December 30, 2011 10:55 AM (mOltQ)

90 You think Poison will be able to sue for stealing all their moves?

Posted by: buzzion at December 30, 2011 10:56 AM (GULKT)

91 Tony Romo is a big fan of these guys.  They played at his weddding.  No joke.

Posted by: Matticus at December 30, 2011 10:57 AM (0Mr4u)

92 I did get a good laugh at the video and lyrics for "Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)" (though the one band member rubbing the bare chest of the lead singer at the 3:49 mark was a little bit disturbing).

Posted by: Slappy at December 30, 2011 10:57 AM (LTbLf)

93

Seems like a no-brainer to have them doing ads for Odeon.

Posted by: millco88 at December 30, 2011 10:57 AM (7A0lf)

94 >>>You wouldnt believe, i think, i know the lead singer WAS last time i checked, but i think all of the members are married too. I was wondering. The way they lay it down -- we're going to use groupies and give them herpes and make them do our laundry and steal money from them and they're stupid sluts, etc. -- I was thinking "These guys seem to have burned that particular bridge, so I hope they're married already."

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 10:57 AM (nj1bB)

95 Mitt Romney used to listen to the Carpenters. Fuck Mitt Romney.

Posted by: Gene Simmons at December 30, 2011 10:57 AM (oPkw3)

96 OK...Death to all But Metal's pretty funny shit.

Posted by: billygoat at December 30, 2011 10:58 AM (6DDE+)

97 So, official AoSHQ soundtrack then?

Posted by: I'm AoSHQ's DarkLord©, and I approve this f---ery at December 30, 2011 10:59 AM (GBXon)

98 93 Tony Romo is a big fan of these guys.  They played at his weddding.  No joke.

Posted by: Matticus at December 30, 2011 02:57 PM (0Mr4u)

That figures. Romo should be playing in the Canadian league, not stinking up Dallas. Wouldn't make a zit on Staubach's ass cheek.

Posted by: maddogg at December 30, 2011 10:59 AM (OlN4e)

99 OT but still about entertainment. Watched Funny People with Adam Sandler again last night and I have to say that is an underrated movie and one of his best.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at December 30, 2011 11:00 AM (BsXKJ)

100 I was wondering. The way they lay it down --

From what I've seen of groupies, that may not slow them down much.

Posted by: I'm AoSHQ's DarkLord©, and I approve this f---ery at December 30, 2011 11:00 AM (GBXon)

101 No one poses like that anymore. No one was even that cheesy in the 80s. This. I really can't find a good rendition of the poster-it's worse than anything that comes up in a fast google search...

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 11:00 AM (r2PLg)

102 Stripper Girl is also awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaCqZZ2u6iA

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 11:00 AM (OYaaT)

103 Love these guys. My singer actually does an accoustic version of Community Property in his accoustic act. People love it! Fantastic musicians by the way.

Posted by: lowfibass at December 30, 2011 11:01 AM (9aZ6t)

104

Hell's on Fire.

I lolled.

Posted by: eleven at December 30, 2011 11:01 AM (fsLdt)

105 What, no pudding?

Posted by: km at December 30, 2011 11:01 AM (iFQkz)

106 Fuck the GooGoo dolls, they can suck my balls, best lyrics evah.

Posted by: booger at December 30, 2011 11:02 AM (EjNp5)

107 of their "Girl from OKC" song (i live in Tulsa). It's the football rivalry thing, innit?

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 11:02 AM (r2PLg)

108 >>>From what I've seen of groupies, that may not slow them down much. I don't know. They really lay it on pretty thick. They have one song where they say something like "Treat me right and you'll get an engagement ring load my guns and sharpen my knives Just kidding you slut you're not getting an engagement ring" you'd really have to be deranged to sleep with these guys when they announce in every single song they they have Venereal diseases and you are a "stupid whore" for giving it up to them.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:03 AM (nj1bB)

109 92 You think Poison will be able to sue for stealing all their moves?

By "their moves," I assume you include the awesome stage choreography, such as swinging their guitars in unison, and pointing, throwing kicks, and pumping their fists at the camera. Wasn't there a day when many children of the '80s thought this type of stage behavior ruled? Or maybe it was just me who did.

Posted by: Slappy at December 30, 2011 11:03 AM (LTbLf)

110 Watched Funny People with Adam Sandler again last night and I have to say that is an underrated movie and one of his best.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at December 30, 2011 03:00 PM (BsXKJ)

If the best you can say is that this is one of his (Sandler's) best, it sounds like this movie sucks.

Posted by: Hrothgar at December 30, 2011 11:03 AM (i3+c5)

111

>>>That figures. Romo should be playing in the Canadian league, not stinking up Dallas. Wouldn't make a zit on Staubach's ass cheek.

 

I reluctantly agree.  You get the Nikolai Yehzov treatment around here until you win at least two Superbowls.

Posted by: Matticus at December 30, 2011 11:04 AM (0Mr4u)

112 I was actually wondering how they could make The Move on a girl when they say "Oh you know, that's all a joke, we're comedians," but it's so pervasive... I don't think you can say it's a joke. I'd like to see them try to sell that. Personally, I don't think it can be done.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:04 AM (nj1bB)

113

Prophets are born from the distillation of irrefutable truths.

So I hope women appreciate the Zen-like complexity of the naked male form standing before them saying “Hey, it’s not going to suck itself”.

Posted by: jwest at December 30, 2011 11:04 AM (8moZm)

114 Do you have groupies, Ace? If not why not? You're famous. You shd at least have a stalker or two.

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 11:05 AM (rDDiL)

115 Weenie Ride brought tears to my eyes.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 30, 2011 11:06 AM (Sh42X)

116 @109 Which one? "Girl from Oklahoma" (i thought it was "Girl from OKC" is about groupies.

Posted by: MikeInBA at December 30, 2011 11:06 AM (Q9Fr6)

117 Ace doesn't need stalkers. He has us.

Posted by: maddogg at December 30, 2011 11:06 AM (OlN4e)

118 Heya MikeinBA....Im from Tulsa!

Posted by: lowfibass at December 30, 2011 11:06 AM (9aZ6t)

119 #112 I feel dumber for having read that. No points for you.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at December 30, 2011 11:06 AM (BsXKJ)

120 "you'd really have to be deranged to sleep with these guys when they announce in every single song they they have Venereal diseases and you are a "stupid whore" for giving it up to them. " They're not judgement proof. If they didn't tell every girl or man they slept with that they have herpes, they could be sued.

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 11:06 AM (rDDiL)

121 One of the lyrics from their song I Like Drugs: "Suspect looks like a chubby David Lee Roth. Scratch that, more like a skinny version of Vince Neil." My buddy and I were laughing hysterically for about an hour the first time we heard that.

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 11:07 AM (OYaaT)

122

92 You think Poison will be able to sue for stealing all their moves?

These guys are stealing everybody's moves. Hell, they've even stolen my sticking-tongue-out move for their "Eatin Ain't Cheatin" song.

Posted by: Gene Simmons at December 30, 2011 11:07 AM (oPkw3)

123 David Lee Roth is touring in 2012 with Eddie, Alex, and Wolfgang -- looks like the Van Halens got some serious competition.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 30, 2011 11:09 AM (ENKCw)

124 These guys are huge in LA so there are lots of celebrities that have done songs with them on stage - The lead singer from disturbed, Kelly Clarkson, Dane Cook, Alice in Chains, Avenged Seven Fold, the singer of slipknot, Singer of Godsmack, Tom Morello from rage against the machine, Kat Von D, Scott Ian from Anthrax and that is just off the top of my head. As ace would say, this is a thing. It has been growing in popularity since like 2003 in terms of real popularity... I mean, they are signed by Universal lol.

Posted by: emaugust at December 30, 2011 11:09 AM (E8wmM)

125 @lowfibass Nice to meet ya man! (BA=Broken Arrow obviously). You think we can have enough Okies to have a AOSPHQ meetup?

Posted by: MikeInBA at December 30, 2011 11:09 AM (Q9Fr6)

126 The singer has a an average voice, but the guitarist?? C'mon guys, if it's not Dave Mustaine from Megadeth, it's just average. (Steps back and waits for avalanche of abuse). Have to show hubby when he gets home.

Posted by: San Antonio Rose at December 30, 2011 11:09 AM (nOFwj)

127 They've got nothing on me or my "Sex Style"

Posted by: Kool Keith at December 30, 2011 11:09 AM (fDiVo)

128 Telling the girls they have VD should be an immediate turn off but you have to know that a lot of girls like the fantasy of being dirty little whores, right?

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at December 30, 2011 11:10 AM (BsXKJ)

129 Are they playing roles on stage and in their songs? The groupie shit might be "based on real life", but is it their real lives? I'm sure some of their fans know.

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 30, 2011 11:10 AM (hiMsy)

130
Men on death row have groupies.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:10 AM (sqkOB)

131

It's got a good beat and it's easy to dance to.

I'd give it a 65, Mr. Clark.

 

All seriousness aside, that's one of the funniest bands I've ever heard. Pure sendup, alá Dread Zeppelin, but very well done IMO. Good musicianship and production, as far as the overall attitude goes, up there with the Tubes.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, PHD, CEO Curmudgeon Clinics of America at December 30, 2011 11:11 AM (d0Tfm)

132 Their first album was called Hole Patrol.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:11 AM (nj1bB)

133 Awesome! These guys totally remind me of Wycked Sceptre.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 30, 2011 11:11 AM (+lsX1)

134 Here's one of their girl fans doing her makeup for the show- http://tinyurl.com/c9w8uc Gotta go!

Posted by: tasker at December 30, 2011 11:11 AM (r2PLg)

135 >>>Are they playing roles on stage and in their songs? Well they're roles, in as much as they're all playing absurd characters. They concoct storylines like the singer and guitarist are vying for control of the group, that kind of thing. I've been a big fan since way back, since 9.45 last night precisely, but I don't know much more than you know now.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:13 AM (nj1bB)

136 Ace, I see you point, and I have to...wait, this is the same America that elected a blank-check radical left community organizer with no common American experiences, a history of Marxist thought, and connections to domestic terrorists.

Yeah.  Won't slow 'em down a bit.

Posted by: I'm AoSHQ's DarkLord©, and I approve this f---ery at December 30, 2011 11:13 AM (GBXon)

137 MikeInBA youre the only one I know of thats close. Next closest I think is Soona. Hell come to Crow Creek on Brookside tomorrow night. Were playing the NYE party there. Would be kewl to throw back a few Jagers with a fellow moron!!

Posted by: lowfibass at December 30, 2011 11:14 AM (9aZ6t)

138 They already have a Behind the Music. And it's hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL6wZkiK9JA&ob=av2e

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 11:14 AM (OYaaT)

139 "Men on death row have groupies." Not only do they have groupies, they have lots of them. They cheat on them, they marry one, cheat, divorce, marry another. They trade them to other prisoners without the bimbos knowledge. And when they finally get juiced, the groupies fight with the families over the disposal of the body. These women are amoral fucks.

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 11:14 AM (rDDiL)

140
yeah, groupies are a special breed

they are, I believe, lower on the food chain than "roadies"

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:16 AM (sqkOB)

141 Hall of Fame Post! Will laugh for months of of this!

Posted by: Heartless Nora at December 30, 2011 11:16 AM (VxqUc)

142 >>>I've been a big fan since way back, since 9.45 last night precisely... I was watching your tweets real time and your pitch for songs. They are very good at telling their critics to fuck off.

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 11:17 AM (rDDiL)

143 Is there such a thing as a conservative libertine?

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 11:17 AM (Xm1aB)

144
it goes like this:

Humans
Carnies
Roadies
DMV employees
SEIU members
Cab drivers
Groupies

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:17 AM (sqkOB)

145 I liked the artists that were popular in the early to mid-'80s, not the crap in the late '80s, like Warrant, Slaughter, and Poison. To the unsophisticated listener, all '80s metal was the same but there was a difference in quality between the stuff prior to '87 and the stuff '87 and later.

Really bad metal.  It is, like really bad theater, something to be savored.

Posted by: Leonard Pinth Garnel at December 30, 2011 11:18 AM (6TB1Z)

146 Ace use to post this album cover of a lady on a snake. I don't remember the name of the band.

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 11:18 AM (rDDiL)

147
speaking of death row...

Remember SKID ROW?

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:19 AM (sqkOB)

148 I like the attention to detail--that font for the "Balls Deep" album is from Blackfoot Strikes (1979)

Posted by: LexisTexas at December 30, 2011 11:19 AM (Cn396)

149 Whitesnake?

Posted by: mike at December 30, 2011 11:19 AM (rDDiL)

150 soothsayer I Remember You.

Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 11:20 AM (OYaaT)

151
you mean Balls Out

Balls Deep will be their reunion tour.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:20 AM (sqkOB)

152

142
yeah, groupies are a special breed

they are, I believe, lower on the food chain than "roadies"

 

Hey man. We only haul equipment. We don't haul anyone's ashes. An we get paid. Groupies do it for nuthin.

 

Posted by: Roadies at December 30, 2011 11:20 AM (oPkw3)

153 Remember Black Oak Arkansas? A hoot.

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 11:21 AM (Xm1aB)

154 @lowfibass Ill be there! Was looking for something to do...Im the bald guy with a goatee (ya, i know, in oklahoma there is a factory stamping out bald guys with goatee somewhere). You said you were playing? Whats the band name?

Posted by: MikeInBA at December 30, 2011 11:21 AM (Q9Fr6)

155 HA!! Yeah me to! Bald guy with a goatee heh. Ill be the bass player. The bands name is Stun.

Posted by: lowfibass at December 30, 2011 11:23 AM (9aZ6t)

156
I'm pretty sure roadies get paid in food not cash.


Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:24 AM (sqkOB)

157 @soothsayer I saw Skid Row open up for Bon Jovi when i was in 6th grade!

Posted by: MikeInBA at December 30, 2011 11:24 AM (Q9Fr6)

158 Ron Paul!

Posted by: Chuckit at December 30, 2011 11:24 AM (N/Wxd)

159 Yeah! Death to all butt metal!

But I'm still not buying this whole "Dudes! I'm cool 'cause I rock out to metal!" thing from an ewok in a cardigan. I shall now don my skeptical face.

Posted by: Cowboy Colonoscopy Poetry at December 30, 2011 11:26 AM (K0tDU)

160 The band has bits of real panther in it. So you know their good.

Posted by: Brian Fantana at December 30, 2011 11:26 AM (+o7Q1)

161
I used to love (until today, as a matter of fact) all the old Bon Jovi stuff.

I still like the songs, but their pretty weak.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:26 AM (sqkOB)

162 Formerly known as Metal Skool, these guys used to play every Monday night at the Viper Room on Sunset, IIRC. Amazing stuff, and one of the only reasons (along with Mexican food) I wish I still lived in L.A and not North Carolina.

Posted by: micmcn at December 30, 2011 11:26 AM (Ehqjq)

163 I know of a friend of a friend who broke up with her roadie boyfriend.......because he was gone too much. Duh.

Posted by: Dave at December 30, 2011 11:27 AM (Xm1aB)

164 >>>Ace use to post this album cover of a lady on a snake. You mean Whitesnake's Lovehunter?

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:27 AM (nj1bB)

165 >>>But I'm still not buying this whole "Dudes! I'm cool 'cause I rock out to metal!" thing from an ewok in a cardigan. Well the band I'm promoting is a parody band. I'm not promoting Ramstein or Dope.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:29 AM (nj1bB)

166

158
I'm pretty sure roadies get paid in food not cash.

Naw, they give us money to get their drugs and put gas in the trucks. We just take our cut outa that.

Posted by: Roadies at December 30, 2011 11:29 AM (oPkw3)

167 Although Dope's "Die M****rF****r Die" is pretty damn good.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:29 AM (nj1bB)

168 To ever hit it big-time, they need to have a venue burn down from some of the show pyrotecnics.  A few deaths.  A few hits follow.   Rock- Stars !!!

Posted by: builderdoug at December 30, 2011 11:29 AM (VlOIZ)

169
I was wasting a lot of time on yootoob today watching amateur vids.

Some people are quite good at choosing scenes from a movie and setting the montage vid to a song.

For instance, 300 + Last Resort. Pretty kick ass if you ask me.

*nsfw for f-word

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:30 AM (sqkOB)

170 My year is officially complete.  Awesome.

Happy New Year everyone!

Posted by: ☠ Rex Harrison's Hat ☠ at December 30, 2011 11:30 AM (4136b)

Posted by: I'm AoSHQ's DarkLord©, and I approve this f---ery at December 30, 2011 11:31 AM (GBXon)

172 As much as I enjoy irony, this is all just too much for me. Get off my lawn planet.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at December 30, 2011 11:31 AM (fjoLg)

173 "If You Really, Really Love Me" is a great ballad.
--
If you really really really really love me
then you really really really gotta show me
don't whine when I put it in your booty
or if I'm up all night playin call of duty

never hassle me because I'm unemployed
if I sleep all day don't get annoyed
then I'll know that you really really really
Really really really love me.


Posted by: Clubber Lang at December 30, 2011 11:32 AM (QcFbt)

174 69 Posted by: wte9 at December 30, 2011 02:44 PM (OYaaT)

Meh...sounds like Bon Jovi...

Posted by: billygoat at December 30, 2011 02:48 PM (6DDE+)

Not that anyone really cares, but my first concert was Bon Jovi OPENING for Ratt. I actually went to see Ratt and didn't care about Bon Jovi. It was 1985, so before Bon Jovi released "Slippery When Wet", which was the album that pushed them to top of the hard rock/heavy metal pack.

Posted by: Slappy at December 30, 2011 11:32 AM (LTbLf)

175 I used to love (until today, as a matter of fact) all the old Bon Jovi stuff.

I actually liked most of the hair bands back in the day, except for Bon Jovi, to this day i can't change the dial fast enough if i hear them come on.

Posted by: booger at December 30, 2011 11:32 AM (EjNp5)

176 I suggest their next song be Penistical Correctness or Obama Sux.  Either way.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 30, 2011 11:33 AM (JYheX)

177 Barack Obama is a St*ttering Cl*sterf*ck Of A Miserable Fail*re

Posted by: Heartless Nora at December 30, 2011 11:36 AM (VxqUc)

178

You guys really need to check out "Gunther" (gunthernet.com) -- which is the same concept as Steel Panther except instead of hair metal, it's eurotrash.  Gunther's uber-euro songs include "Ding Dong Song", "Pleasureman", "Teeny Weeny String Bikini" and so on.

Gunther's songs and videos are hilarious.  "oooh... you touched my tralala! my ding ding dong!"

Posted by: wooga at December 30, 2011 11:36 AM (vjyZP)

179 I hated it then and if this isn't a parody, I still hate it. The having fun part is cool.

Posted by: snowcrash at December 30, 2011 11:37 AM (w3YD7)

180
And then I watched the 300 + It's My Life vid.

Bon Jovi sounds like a bitch.


Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2011 11:37 AM (sqkOB)

181 @booger Dude, come on...Wanted Dead or Alive, Blaze of Glory...are you insane??!?!?!?!

Posted by: MikeInBA at December 30, 2011 11:38 AM (Q9Fr6)

182

Posted by: Don Dokken, cowboy of metal at December 30, 2011 03:36 PM (K0tDU)

I saw Dokken a couple of years ago at a local, smaller venue.  Still rockin' it.  He doesn't shoot for the high notes anymore but who cares.  It's Dokken!

Some amazing Ozzie cover band opened for them.

Posted by: ☠ Rex Harrison's Hat ☠ at December 30, 2011 11:38 AM (4136b)

183 Give a listen the to the romantic side of Steel Panther with their hit love ballad, Stairway to Cunnilingus.

Posted by: Casey Casem at December 30, 2011 11:38 AM (QKKT0)

184 >>>Whoa there pardner! You don't have to be so defensive. Ever hear of good-natured ribbing? Besides, that cardigan looks good on you. I wasn't. I'm not really into metal. I semi-like some of it. My iPod isn't loaded up with it. And I don't have an iPod anyway. I can bluff by choosing which facts to talk about, like that there's a band called Ramstein and Dope has a song called Die MFer Die. That's about 1/10th of my total metal knowledge, but I don't have to announce that as I casually drop my credentials, of course.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:39 AM (nj1bB)

185 @MikeInBA headed out to take the kiddos back to Texas. Look forward to meeting a fellow moron tomorrow! Look us up on FB. Stun Official.

Posted by: lowfibass at December 30, 2011 11:39 AM (9aZ6t)

186 Or Ozzy rather.

Posted by: ☠ Rex Harrison's Hat ☠ at December 30, 2011 11:39 AM (4136b)

187 My first concert was Quiet Riot and the opening act was, believe it or not, Whitesnake.

Posted by: booger at December 30, 2011 11:39 AM (EjNp5)

188 wooga I'll check that out but eurotrash is already self-spoofing, if you mean like Aqua and that kind of band.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:40 AM (nj1bB)

189 Okay it's kind of funny too.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 11:40 AM (nj1bB)

190 184 @booger Dude, come on...Wanted Dead or Alive, Blaze of Glory...are you insane??!?!?!?!

Heh, i don't know what it is, but i just can't listen to Bon Jovi. I kind of like Runaway though.

Posted by: booger at December 30, 2011 11:42 AM (EjNp5)

191 LOL, my first concert was Harry James.

Posted by: Vic at December 30, 2011 11:43 AM (YdQQY)

192 Now get off my lawn.

Posted by: Vic at December 30, 2011 11:43 AM (YdQQY)

193 190 My first concert was Quiet Riot and the opening act was, believe it or not, Whitesnake.

Posted by: booger at December 30, 2011 03:39 PM (EjNp5)

Mine was Metallica/Damaged Justice tour.  Can't remember who opened - I want to say Queensrÿche.

Saw Crue once and snuck up to the 3rd row.  Mick Mars glared at me for an inordinate amount of time and it creeped me the hell out.

Posted by: ☠ Rex Harrison's Hat ☠ at December 30, 2011 11:46 AM (4136b)

194 LOL @ Vic.

*get's off lawn*

Posted by: ☠ Rex Harrison's Hat ☠ at December 30, 2011 11:47 AM (4136b)

195

Great, now I got Gunther's Pleasureman in my head.

"I'm your pleasure man. You will be my fan."

Posted by: wooga at December 30, 2011 11:47 AM (vjyZP)

196 177

I actually liked most of the hair bands back in the day, except for Bon Jovi, to this day i can't change the dial fast enough if i hear them come on.

Posted by: booger at December 30, 2011 03:32 PM (EjNp5)

I liked Bon Jovi but they were never one of my favorite bands from that era. I was always a Van Halen fan, first and foremost. Nonetheless, "Tokyo Road" and "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi are two of my favorite '80s tunes, though "Runaway" and "Let It Rock" are favs, too. I hate to admit it but I still listen to those tunes on occasion.

Posted by: Slappy at December 30, 2011 11:47 AM (LTbLf)

197 Not that anyone really cares, but my first concert was Bon Jovi OPENING for Ratt. I actually went to see Ratt and didn't care about Bon Jovi. It was 1985, so before Bon Jovi released "Slippery When Wet", which was the album that pushed them to top of the hard rock/heavy metal pack.

I saw Ratt & Bon Jovi in the Starry Night Club in Portland in 1984. Later that night we were arrested for driving the wrong way across the Burnside bridge. Alcohol was involved. I blame Ratt.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 30, 2011 11:47 AM (+lsX1)

198 Thank you Ace. You have enriched my life yet again by introducing me to the greatest band I've heard in the last 10 years, if not indeed ever. And sadly, I'm not even joking.

Posted by: jollyroger at December 30, 2011 11:48 AM (WFsPq)

199 Never was a big concert-goer. Got dragged to a Poison concert once. Good time. Crowd went nuts for Every Rose Has a Thorn.

Also got dragged to a Fugazi concert. Hated every fucking minute of that. So fucking loud. Since I don't go to concerts I didn't know that everybody wore earplugs for a band like Fugazi. Couldn't hear right for nearly 2 days after that. I wanted to leave the moment I got there, but thought I had a shot at a 2nd date bj from the chick I was with, which I didn't get. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Plus the only people who are ever impressed I saw Fugazi are the kind of people I hate.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at December 30, 2011 11:50 AM (QcFbt)

200 ...threads like this are why I love it here...Happy 2012 Ace!

Posted by: billygoat at December 30, 2011 11:52 AM (6DDE+)

201

Black Oak Arkansas with Jim Dandy.  Heh, those were the days

Posted by: zeera at December 30, 2011 11:53 AM (8FXJ4)

202 196

Saw Crue once and snuck up to the 3rd row.  Mick Mars glared at me for an inordinate amount of time and it creeped me the hell out.

Posted by: ☠ Rex Harrison's Hat ☠ at December 30, 2011 03:46 PM (4136b)

Most kids would need counseling after being "glared at" by Mick Mars. The creepy looking SOB reminds me of a freakin' killer in a horror movie.

Posted by: Slappy at December 30, 2011 11:56 AM (LTbLf)

203 Most kids would need counseling after being "glared at" by Mick Mars. The creepy looking SOB reminds me of a freakin' killer in a horror movie.

Posted by: Slappy at December 30, 2011 03:56 PM (LTbLf)

There were so many people smoking weed around me I think I was sedated enough to not piss my pants.

Posted by: ☠ Rex Harrison's Hat ☠ at December 30, 2011 12:00 PM (4136b)

204 Oh dear God, the Meta Metal band.

I LOVE it!

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at December 30, 2011 12:01 PM (1Mn8Z)

205 53 "One thing is that they don't actually hit all the Four Basic Food Groups of metal enough. They do so many songs just about sex, they don't do, for example, the Gambling/Bad Behavior song (Ace of Spades by Motorhead, for example), or the stupid sci-fi power fantasy type songs, or the Hell songs."

They're really more parodying the glam-metal / cheese-metal hair bands of the late 80s -- the Poisons, Bon Jovis, Def Leppards, Whitesnakes, Warrants, etc., etc.

Those bands focused mainly on the Sex food group, and not so much the Power Fantasy & Hell subject areas like more pure metal acts such as Iron Maiden, Megadeth, Exodus, Manowar (which is really a self-parody act anyway), Grim Reaper, Mercyful Fate, etc., etc..

Many of those bands did a lot of Bad Behavior songs too, though -- Van Halen, Motley Crue, and Skid Row in particular.

I'm not crazy about the Steel Panther thing.  Yeah, it's funny for a bit, and that genre was pretty ripe for parody even 20-25 years ago (and wasn't parodied nearly enough back in its day).  But you described it perfectly:

"by the way, don't even bother with cheesy sexual metaphors; just write songs explicitly about "boners" and "boobs" -- and make it real."

That makes it too broad, obvious, and easy: it's like a Will Ferrell spoof in that it just keeps hitting you over the head going "see how funny I am?", and repeating the joke over and over and over, because if one chorus of "Come on baby suck my balls all night" was funny, five choruses of it must be five times as funny.

Spinal Tap did this type of parody much better, because they didn't ham it up so much, they knew when to stop milking a joke and move to the next one, and because they did use the cheesy sexual metaphors, thus putting a little more thought into it. ("I'd love to sink her with my pink torpedo ...")

Even when Nigel Tufnel named a song "Lick My Love Pump," his understated, straight-faced delivery was what put the joke over the top.  He wasn't like your unfunny uncle, wagging his eyebrows and elbowing you in the ribs going "Get it?  Huh? Ya get it???"

Posted by: Alex at December 30, 2011 12:07 PM (/yzYn)

206 I hear that. I think they hit the Sex thing too much. It's about 90% of their songs. If it were 50% or a little lower, I think they'd be better. I also think a strained, weak, obvious metaphor like the "suck the venom" thing is actually funnier, most of the time, than just saying "suck my balls," because it adds an extra level: The level of incompetence. See, they're trying to be clever. They're just failing.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 12:09 PM (nj1bB)

207 on the other hand just going absurdly raunchy, as in The Shocker, is pretty good too. I just think they have to limit how often they hit that button. Too many times and it starts to get been there done that.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 12:11 PM (nj1bB)

208 196 190 My first concert was Quiet Riot and the opening act was, believe it or not, Whitesnake.

Mine was Metallica/Damaged Justice tour.  Can't remember who opened - I want to say Queensrÿche.

Saw Crue once and snuck up to the 3rd row.  Mick Mars glared at me for an inordinate amount of time and it creeped me the hell out.

My first was Iron Maiden, Powerslave tour in 1985.

W.A.S.P. opened, back in their open-ass leather chaps and Skilsaw-codpiece days -- like Steel Panther with a straight face -- and I thought it was just ridiculously stupid and that they sucked.  Years later, I realized that the W.A.S.P. thing was tongue-in-cheek -- I think -- and I kind of get the joke.

Yes, Queensryche opened for Metallica on the Damaged Justice tour.  Saw that one in San Diego.  Saw Queensryche a year later headlining, with Warrant opening.  The Queensryche fans just about all thought Warrant was ridiculous and awful ... and they were basically right.

I missed my chance to see Metallica opening for Ozzy in 1986, when the whole tour got postponed due to a fatal accident (fan fell from upper level seats) in Long Beach a night or two before the show I had tickets to.  Metallica had other tour commitments so they got replaced on the rescheduled tour dates by Blue Oyster Cult.

Strangely, I never saw Crue back in the day.  Caught them on their recent tour, with Poison opening, and it was a great show.  I hated Poison back in the day, but they put on a very good and fun set, and I gotta say they won me over with their live performance even though I'll still never buy one of their albums.

Posted by: Alex at December 30, 2011 12:16 PM (/yzYn)

209 209 I also think a strained, weak, obvious metaphor like the "suck the venom" thing is actually funnier, most of the time, than just saying "suck my balls," because it adds an extra level: The level of incompetence. See, they're trying to be clever. They're just failing.

Bingo.  Nail on head.

Posted by: Alex at December 30, 2011 12:18 PM (/yzYn)

210 You young people with your leaden bands and other silliness

you think screaming is music; shame!!

Posted by: Tagg Romney at December 30, 2011 12:19 PM (UqKQV)

211 Think Beavis and Butthead will get a shot at watching these guys? That would rule!

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at December 30, 2011 12:19 PM (Bm4Hv)

212 They sound like another Dragonforce, which I always thought was a spoof band, but was never sure:

Here's their Fury of the Storm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i7qZxICwgQ

Posted by: Nice Deb at December 30, 2011 12:21 PM (9oI7Y)

213 "Oh, it's too clever," "Oh, it's too raunchy, "Oh, it's too easy." Whatever, you pretentious douchebags. Anyone that doesn't grasp the genius of Weenie Ride doesn't deserve to call themselves a music critic if you ask me.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 30, 2011 12:21 PM (+lsX1)

214 My parents bought me a Stryper cassette tape when I was a teen because they saw my Ratt poster on my wall - the one of the chick with the giant sweater ponies bending down to adjust her high heel. They figured it would be more wholesome. Sure, four dudes in black and yellow stripes, makeup and no chicks in sight is wholesome. And chock full of sodomy.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 30, 2011 12:26 PM (XE2Oo)

215 I like the sex ones but it's like the sex ones are the intended hits. But albums don't consist of all Intended Hits. They have their moodier/riffier stuff, and in metal, I guess that's where they start singing about science fiction and Hobbits and shit. So I'd definitely keep doing that. But I'd hit the other food groups, which are like bad behavior/rowdiness/crime, Hell/dark ages shit/norse shit/science fiction dopery, and then of course Metal Itself. They need more songs just about how awesome Metal is.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 12:26 PM (nj1bB)

216 This has got to be the single best post I have ever seen on The Ace of Spades site. This made my day. On a side note, i suspect Steel Panther will be following Kelly Clarkson's lead and will endorse Ron Paul for president. Paul for president, the ultimate "Weenie Ride"

Posted by: a_fib at December 30, 2011 12:26 PM (dpU+d)

217 as someone above noted, they're really just parodying one specific phase of metal, the Partyband glam stuff, your Van Halens (obviously), Poisons, etc. Which is fine but they're going to burn out if they just keep parodying not just a specific type of band but one specific type of song that specific type of band does. Plus, they can always throw in references to getting blowjobs in, say, a Norse Mythology song. It would actually make it funnier to be singing about, say, a valkyrie whose hair is of finely spun gold, shaped from iron by Odin himself, who declares the band the Greatest Warriors of the New Age, and then blows them all. "Valkyrie." come on, how can a metal band not do a song about valkyries?

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 12:31 PM (nj1bB)

218 1991/92 New Years Eve. Tokyo dome. Metallica. Europe. Two other bands I can't remember.

Fucking Awesome. I got drunk and sobered up just before Metallica came on. And they played "Last Caress" as an encore. 20 fucking years ago.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at December 30, 2011 12:32 PM (1Mn8Z)

219 Wait, did Kiss trick me with the Love Gun album? That was a parody wasn't it? I was only 11, but I should have known better. Goddammit.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 30, 2011 12:35 PM (+lsX1)

220 214 Think Beavis and Butthead will get a shot at watching these guys? That would rule!

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at December 30, 2011 04:19 PM (Bm4Hv)

The Meta would collapse upon itself and create a singularity.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at December 30, 2011 12:35 PM (1Mn8Z)

221

"Thar She Blows"...

Tears in my eyes.  I would go to see them live, just to support them for that and that alone.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at December 30, 2011 12:38 PM (EZq1B)

222 Oh I just saw-- I didn't forget "Community Property." But it's another one of the sex songs. I thought it gets to be too much, that one joke. I like it, but I was trying to vary the songs. Which is hard, because most of them are about poontang.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 12:39 PM (nj1bB)

223 The Steel Panther show last night at the Chicago HOB was pretty awesome, especially "17 Girls In a Row," where they got 17 girls from the audience up on stage flashing titties. Chicago-based opening band Hessler was pretty awesome too, very hot chick on vocals. I have pix on my FB page. First time I saw Steel Panther was 3 or 4 years ago at the Key Club on the Sunset Strip in LA, where they played the regular 'Metal School' thing every Monday night. Gotta admit I have a soft spot for comedy schtick rock bands - Steel Panther, Southern Culture on the Skids, The Upper Crust, Nickelback.

Posted by: iowahawk at December 30, 2011 12:46 PM (HNqxs)

224 And from the Tokyo performance of "Asian Hooker." "Smells like sushi"

Posted by: Mystery Meat at December 30, 2011 12:46 PM (kyzl0)

225 There are several late night ONT-ers who are going to be sorry the missed this post.

Love Southern Culture on the Skids; they are fantastic live, as well, Good times, good times.

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at December 30, 2011 12:59 PM (SsG4J)

226 And here I was bitching the other day about how there aren't any bands that really speak to me anymore.

Posted by: Dave S. at December 30, 2011 01:07 PM (UvR6d)

227 [Insert image of fat 40-something thrashing]

Posted by: joncelli at December 30, 2011 01:14 PM (+MbqG)

228 #220

Sort of like "Ride My Dragon?

Posted by: Mikey NTH at December 30, 2011 01:14 PM (fF9Td)

229

I like it, but I was trying to vary the songs. Which is hard, because most of them are about poontang.

Posted by: ace at December 30, 2011 04:39 PM (nj1bB)

Just like most other songs.

Posted by: buzzion at December 30, 2011 01:34 PM (GULKT)

230 I like it, but I was trying to vary the songs. Which is hard, because most of them are about poontang.

How many other Bloggers have this kind of problem?

Posted by: DaveA at December 30, 2011 01:53 PM (t/mAc)

231 OMG.  MY NEW FAVORITE BAND.

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at December 30, 2011 02:22 PM (C7KNt)

232 Beat Farmers!!

RIP Country Dick Montana

Lakeside Trailer Park

Happy Boy


Posted by: FrankRizzo at December 30, 2011 02:29 PM (JHRCt)

233 I've read the comments and didn't understand a single effing reference.

You kids can stay on my lawn, but imma turn on the sprinklers now.

Posted by: The guy who doesn't know his nic at December 30, 2011 02:35 PM (Onw8c)

234 Reminds me of when I jung out at the Scream and the White Trash Au Go-Go and the Cathouse.  Sob.  Long time since I wore leather hip stiletto boots and went braless...

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at December 30, 2011 02:36 PM (C7KNt)

235 Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 30, 2011 04:26 PM (XE2Oo) My mom is in her 60's and loves Stryper. They are apparently still kicking out albums. What's an album you say? Get off my lawn.

Posted by: Wink Martindale at December 30, 2011 02:41 PM (kfbEC)

Posted by: cleaningmygun at December 30, 2011 02:53 PM (WUcSM)

237 The first Panther song I ever heard was The Shocker.  Two in the pink, and one in the stink.  Couldn't believe the lyrics. They're awesome in a "I've had a few too many beers and this is some funny shit" way.  The music seems to rip off other bands mostly indirectly but these guys can definitely play.  I've probably heard most of their songs and it wears on you after awhile but there's some good stuff there.  They're a metal version of Electric Six.

Posted by: Jon in TX at December 30, 2011 02:55 PM (lRqIF)

238

Totally unsuprising. The thing is you googled them. A band like this is not that hard to make. These kind of videos and media can be put together by any nerdy AV kid in highschool.

There are tremendously professional looking bands by the thousand playing right now on Youtube in someone's garage, or at a local bar. Some of them can get huge in today's world. Go to The Daily Telegraph wiki page. 1945 to 2004 are missing entirely. In 2004 they got a website. Now they're a major international paper and one of the biggest in the UK.

As for how wierd bands can get... they're artists. You ever see someone play a an accordian or a wheel fiddle in a metal song? I have. There's all sorts of crazy stuff out there.

Lots of bands even start off as cheesy jokes and then take off. The Monkey's? Dethklok's Dethalbum is the best selling death metal album of all time, all music written and created by Brendon Smalls I think is his name, a comedy writer with a music major that wrote scripts for William's Street cartoon comedies on adult swim like Home Movies. Now he's working on his solo album which I will almost certainly end up buying.

This crap, this ain't metal. Cheezy glam-rock 80's theme but there's no metal in sight. Soft rock, pop rock. Lots of real rock bands doing that shtick better too - The Darkness, I think? Thing Called Love? Great song but watch the video. And Steel Panther does not have great music... Tenacious D and Spinal Tap they will not become.

Posted by: Entropy, and if you disagree you hate America and want Obama to win at December 30, 2011 03:04 PM (TLNYf)

239 236 Beat Farmers!!  RIP Country Dick Montana

----

Oh hell yes.  "Baby's Liquored Up," co-written with Mojo Nixon.

"Stank breath, sudden death, sittin' at the bar,
Grabbin' every crotch she sees no matter who you are.
Even the cops say she's gone too far
She just took a dump in my new car!"

Posted by: Alex at December 30, 2011 03:06 PM (/yzYn)

240

Meh, I'm an idiot. I guess what I saw was suppose to be a cheezy 80's powerballad parody.

OK a lot of that qualifies as metal. And it's not terrible, but it's still not very good.

Posted by: Entropy, and if you disagree you hate America and want Obama to win at December 30, 2011 03:11 PM (TLNYf)

241

They sound like another Dragonforce, which I always thought was a spoof band, but was never sure:

WTF?!?

Steel Panther and Dragonforce? Jeez... you do not like that kind of music do you?

Posted by: Entropy, and if you disagree you hate America and want Obama to win at December 30, 2011 03:16 PM (TLNYf)

242 Was that Sarah Silverman at the end of "Death to All But(t) Metal"?

Posted by: Mr. Lurky McLurkington, Esq. at December 30, 2011 03:22 PM (4LNqW)

243

tinyurl.com/dbwkqc

The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love.

Posted by: Entropy, and if you disagree you hate America and want Obama to win at December 30, 2011 03:24 PM (TLNYf)

244 "Fat Girl" sounds like Whitesnake.
"Asian Hooker" sounds like Dokken.

Posted by: OxyCon at December 30, 2011 03:33 PM (36yy9)

245 I know I'm late to this thread, but I don't feel tardy! And yes, Lurky, that is Sarah Silverman.

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 30, 2011 03:37 PM (j+Izh)

246 How long till Steel Panther gets a boomlet as Republican fronrunner?

Posted by: Elize Nayden, Newtist at December 30, 2011 03:39 PM (+gQ10)

247

Fuck You for saying you are taking the day off and then posting a HoF Metal Post, ace!

 

You bastard.

 

Metal Metal Land

Posted by: Your Metal Masters, GWAR! at December 30, 2011 03:55 PM (0hwOL)

248 Correct me if I'm wrong, but the fist reference I ever heard for the term "heavy metal" was in the early seventies when K-Tel was TV advertising one of their anthology-type records, and the title of the album was simply that - "Heavy Metal".

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 30, 2011 04:02 PM (j+Izh)

249 Nope ...not metal. Not on their best day, and I say this as a veteran metal musician.

Posted by: Berserker at December 30, 2011 04:14 PM (FMbng)

250

#253:  Actually, the first reference was by Steppenwolf in their classic, "Born to be Wild." 

"I like smokin' lightning.  Heavy metal thunder.  Racing with the wind.  And the feeling that I'm under."

Posted by: Caesar Augustus at December 30, 2011 04:15 PM (f8XyF)

251 My closest experience with an Asian hooker came on a trip to Tokyo for business with a travel partner. Our Japanese guest was taking us out for some entertainment after dinner. So we're standing in a hallway outside a bar which was in the Shinzuku region. A guy in front of us was having a discussion with the door man that kept getting louder and louder. There must have been a communication problem between them, because the door man finally said in plain, slow English, "Hand job only." Well, since my partner and I were both happily married, we decided quickly that maybe karaoke would be better. "Besides," I said to him, "we didn't bring any napkins." Now that last comment comes from something else strange we'd noticed in Japan. Since paper is scarce and expensive in Japan, most of the restaurants didn't serve napkins. If wanted one, you had to bring your own, or just use a handkerchief. Same thing in the restrooms if you wanted to dry your hands after washing.

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 30, 2011 04:23 PM (j+Izh)

252 Right you are, Caesar!

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 30, 2011 04:25 PM (j+Izh)

253 This info is a terrific read. Thanks for the info.I am looking forward for more updates.

Posted by: ebook downloads to ipad at December 30, 2011 04:34 PM (aLZ4U)

254 Interesting that Black Sabbath is credited with inventing Heavy Metal, but they were post-Steppenwolf (but not by much, I think, I remember Steppenwolf's debut as in "Easy Rider.") They both came out my senior year in HS.

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 30, 2011 04:37 PM (j+Izh)

255 You made a few good points there. I did a search on the matter and found a good number of people will agree with your blog.

Posted by: Public Domain Android eBooks at December 30, 2011 05:05 PM (dZSmG)

256 Its Pleasure to understand your blog.The above articles is pretty extraordinary, and I really enjoyed reading your blog and points that you expressed. I really like to appear back over a typical basis,post a lot more within the topic.Thanks for sharingÂ…keep writing!!!

Posted by: Public Domain Android eBooks at December 30, 2011 05:07 PM (dZSmG)

257 I would think that "Asian Hooker" would be the romantic ballad. But perhaps that's just me.

Posted by: Eliot Spitzer at December 30, 2011 05:19 PM (aZLpo)

258 Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?

Posted by: Shared ePub eBooks Blog at December 30, 2011 05:31 PM (cHqcE)

259

There is nothing more embarrassing than 80's skin tight spandex big hair metal. NOTHING.

Now bring me Kurt Cobain.That man can rock.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at December 30, 2011 05:44 PM (O7ksG)

260 You really make it seem so uderstandable with your presentation but I find this topic before really hard to understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me.

Posted by: Unabridged Audio Book Downloads at December 30, 2011 05:52 PM (Iyiqg)

261

www.genset-china.com

happy  everyday

Posted by: kadin at December 30, 2011 07:14 PM (X29+i)

262 Omg all my buddies and I at ucsb lived for steel panther they're so rad live and have the funniest songs ever i can't believe this is on ace this is awesome. Community property is the best song. Rock out with your cock out morons.

Posted by: Eldeuce564 at December 30, 2011 07:56 PM (2wImP)

263 This web site is my breathing in, really fantastic pattern and perfect subject matter.

Posted by: Sisterhood of Dune Mobi at December 30, 2011 09:29 PM (J1uxC)

264 The band is obviously a joke, but the musicians in it aren't. The guitarist, Russ Parrish, was in Rob Halford's band, and is a protege of Paul Gilbert. He's exceedingly good - amazingly technical. The singer actually WAS in the Mark Wahlberg 'Rock Star' movie - he was one of the singers that auditioned for the vocal spot in the band.

Posted by: splatter at December 30, 2011 09:49 PM (8uGtT)

265 I never really liked the LA glam rock sound back when it was considered cool. Motley Crue released one good album (Theater Of Pain) and Ratt was decent, but the rest was pansy crap only girls listened to.

Posted by: Chris R, red in NY-9 at December 31, 2011 08:50 AM (u2x4P)

266 The lead singer of this band was also the lead singer of the famous (in LA) Van Halen tribute band The Atomic Punks.

Sadly, they were a better live act than the actual Van Halen has been for 25 years.

Posted by: The Q at December 31, 2011 08:56 AM (NdE8F)

267 Van Halen + '80's hair band ? WTF. They blow. Anyway, The Dictators were, and are, the best band ever. This is obvious and well known. I think Ace got rick rolled.

Posted by: jbarntt at December 31, 2011 03:27 PM (UNFot)

268

" but the rest was pansy crap only girls listened to.

Posted by: Chris R, red in NY-9 at December 31, 2011 12:50 PM (u2x4P) "

They just followed those guys for tips on how to properly apply makeup!

Posted by: Africanus at January 01, 2012 06:54 PM (FnAgb)

269 Is this like an Echo Post instead of a Double Post? 

Groovy, man.

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 01:27 PM (5H6zj)

270 Ace goes green and recycles posts.


Posted by: Iowa Bob at January 02, 2012 01:28 PM (LMHub)

271 Shit, is Ace trying to score free tickets? A back stage pass?

Posted by: mike at January 02, 2012 01:29 PM (iTfHR)

272 But the pipe spam is new.

Posted by: Iowa Bob at January 02, 2012 01:29 PM (LMHub)

273 it's like a "this is officially a federal day off and I sort of don't want to work" post.

Posted by: ace at January 02, 2012 01:29 PM (nj1bB)

274 Aren't these guys a hypoallergenic hybrid cross with poodles?

I'm pretty sure they're pricey.

Posted by: ontherocks at January 02, 2012 01:33 PM (HBqDo)

275 OT Trump is in. 3rd Party- rampage. See Drudge. gg

Posted by: Gulp at January 02, 2012 01:35 PM (/MuFf)

276 I'll see your Steel Panther and raise you Thor.  Here he is blowing up a hot water bottle with only his lungs on the Merv Griffin show, complete with a confederate general on banjo behind him.

Posted by: Hey.Wheres.Barry at January 02, 2012 01:39 PM (hyP1j)

277 Dennis Rodman is doing the Lord's work.

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 01:40 PM (5H6zj)

278 I laughed till I got sick over one of these vids... There is actually a vid of David Lee Roth sing- screaming- I Forgot the F'in Words- and then he rubs his butt all over the mike pole or whatever the hell you call it... on you tube. Someone should send it to Steel Panthers. I totally think that should be a lyric for one of their next songs...

Posted by: tasker at January 02, 2012 01:40 PM (r2PLg)

279 ""This crap, this ain't metal. Cheezy glam-rock 80's theme but there's no metal in sight"".


This.


Posted by: Berserker at January 02, 2012 01:45 PM (FMbng)

280 115

Prophets are born from the distillation of irrefutable truths.

So I hope women appreciate the Zen-like complexity of the naked male form standing before them saying “Hey, it’s not going to suck itself”.

Posted by: jwest

I watched metal bands with the sound off back when, because I thought their videos were fascinating artifacts. Reading this remark just reminded me of why.

You have to be a sophomore in college to be that silly, and I just can't achieve the proper level of earnest pomposity any more.

Posted by: Dianna at January 02, 2012 01:53 PM (mKMj1)

281

maybe ace is already kindledicted and the little tablet will kill the moron nation, because blog posts cant be written on the kindle yet. It begins with more and more open threads, cheerleader elbows and recycled posts. But after a while, there will not even be open threads anymore, ace wont be able to decide which posts to recycle (let alone write new stuff) because he cant upload them onto his kindle and the hq will go quiet for longer and longer periods of time, untill no moron bothers to show up anymore, because nobody expects new content.

R.I.P. smart military blog!

---

Posted by: Elize Nayden, Newtist at January 02, 2012 02:03 PM (q3zGg)

282

Must be because Sex Panther was already taken.

Posted by: Wodeshed, now 60% more likely to be irresistable! at January 02, 2012 02:06 PM (SgLsM)

283 I agree that Steel Panther is the greatest band ever bumped from Friday.

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at January 02, 2012 02:08 PM (epBek)

284 Rose Bowl is defense optional today.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 02, 2012 02:08 PM (tKFT6)

285 Now Ace is recycling threads?...meh, guess it's ok, cause this thread's from 2011.

Posted by: billygoat at January 02, 2012 02:08 PM (60EzG)

286 293 Rose Bowl is defense optional today.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 02, 2012 06:08 PM (tKFT6)

100

Posted by: Rose Bowl Over/Under at January 02, 2012 02:09 PM (60EzG)

287

R.I.P. smart military blog! 

Perhaps you don't understand the meaning of 'Holiday Weekend'.....and 'taking some time off'.

Posted by: wheatie at January 02, 2012 02:12 PM (oPkw3)

288 The Oregon uniforms are kind of growing on me. 

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 02, 2012 02:14 PM (jucos)

289 Steel Panther?? Isn't that an old PC game?? I think I still have it somewhere.

Posted by: stillers at January 02, 2012 02:16 PM (94m9j)

290 @297
I was just going to say they suck. 

The problem with them is you can't  see the guys in this lighting against the dark green of the field.  So maybe they're fun up close, but they're shit for television. 


Go Badgers!

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 02:16 PM (5H6zj)

291

The Oregon uniforms are kind of growing on me.

Diggin' the old-school-Cylon helmets...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, CEO Curmudgeons INC. at January 02, 2012 02:17 PM (d0Tfm)

292 The problem with them is you can't  see the guys in this lighting against the dark green of the field.  So maybe they're fun up close, but they're shit for television. 


Go Badgers!

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 06:16 PM (5H6zj)

They should play us.

Posted by: Big "East" member Boise State and the blue turf at January 02, 2012 02:17 PM (73tyQ)

293
274

Not for nothing, Mr. Spammer, but if one has the desire to seek wholesale suppliers of lingerie, I suspect he/she may have a misplaced hierarchy of needs.

Posted by: Wodeshed, now 60% more likely to be irresistable! at January 02, 2012 02:19 PM (SgLsM)

294

It's hard to follow behind a post about "butt welded pipe fitting".

There used to be a company out here called "Easy Lay Pipe". .....Their ball caps became a coveted posession.....understandibly so.

I had one of their caps. ......One that said simply "Easy Lay" across the crown. Heh. .....But it got swiped when someone snatched it off my head at an open air concert and kept running.

Posted by: wheatie at January 02, 2012 02:19 PM (oPkw3)

295 Looks like the hubby and I have videos to watch on date night on Friday.  And we are so checking out Gunther.

Posted by: Aunt Cranky at January 02, 2012 02:19 PM (JoeF6)

296

Mark Levin just delivered an EPIC takedown of Virginia's GOP screwing over the other candidates who didn't make it on the ballot.  You've only heard half the story.

He's fired up.  Listen in case he expands on it further; knowing him, he won't let this go anytime soon.  If anyone can post the first 10 minutes, it's must-listen radio.

Posted by: RushBabe at January 02, 2012 02:20 PM (tQHzJ)

297

The problem with them is you can't  see the guys in this lighting against the dark green of the field.

Dark green jersey on dark green grass, it's the Boise defense.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 02, 2012 02:24 PM (tKFT6)

298 Don't get me wrong.  Traditional Wisconsin or Nebraska uniforms are much preferred by me.  The Oregon uniforms don't suck as bad as the Maryland uniforms from this year.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 02, 2012 02:25 PM (jucos)

299 Go Badgers!

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 02:25 PM (5H6zj)

300 Real Metal, fake Metal, joke metal. It's all embarrassing.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at January 02, 2012 02:26 PM (O7ksG)

301 The Oregon uniforms don't suck as bad as the Maryland uniforms from this year.

Yes, those were hideous.

I kind of like the Oregon helmets.

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 02:26 PM (5H6zj)

302

The cat in my lap has progressed from simply "treading" on my sweater to actively trying to burrow through my torso like an Alien. Sweet, strange kitty.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 02, 2012 02:26 PM (Qjh0I)

303 This band is like the grandchildren of Spinal Tap.

Posted by: sTevo at January 02, 2012 02:28 PM (VMcEw)

304 There has just been a sign of some defense at the Rose Bowl.  GO BADGERS!

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 02, 2012 02:28 PM (jucos)

305 Expert bump!

Posted by: Doc at January 02, 2012 02:30 PM (/h3en)

306 Hey, the new Cheez-It commercial during the Rose Bowl has the guy I know doing a new bit. I'm pretty sure they even called him "Joe" in the commercial, which is his real name. I hope he's making bank.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 02, 2012 02:30 PM (Qjh0I)

307 The Zoolander of metal bands.

Posted by: pajama momma at January 02, 2012 02:31 PM (wdYeF)

308 Great:

"Romney is running for president as a Republican, but his recent media strategy includes granting exclusive interviews to news outlets that cater to a liberal audience.

Romney last week granted one-on-one interviews in Iowa to both MSNBC and the Huffington Post, among the best-known sources of news for liberals in the country. In recent weeks, he also gave interviews to The Washington Post, The New York Times and Politico.

ItÂ’s a peculiar strategy for someone who has had trouble convincing conservatives throughout this race heÂ’s one of them.

The Romney campaign runs a tight ship when it comes to media access. Unlike other candidates who can be more open at campaign stops, Romney will only answer questions from reporters during organized media availabilities.

He has had an awkward relationship during the 2012 campaign with non-liberal outlets, especially the Fox News Channel"

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 02:33 PM (5H6zj)

309 I'm eating a "new" Pepperidge Farm Chunk Cookie. The "Lexington", it's described as "milk chocolate toffee almond". Pretty damned good.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 02, 2012 02:34 PM (Qjh0I)

310 I just lost every bit of respect I had for Iowahawk, too bad.

Posted by: Stacy B Slay at January 02, 2012 02:35 PM (7qrQU)

311 "Hey, the new Cheez-It commercial during the Rose Bowl has the guy I know doing a new bit. I'm pretty sure they even called him "Joe" in the commercial, which is his real name. I hope he's making bank." I knew someone who was in several super bowl commercials. I never had the nerve to ask him if they pay more or what's the deal. I sort of got the impression that they got you noticed and therefore additional work. He had a small recurring part on Seinfeld and any time one of his episodes aired, he got numerous calls from casting directors.

Posted by: mike at January 02, 2012 02:39 PM (iTfHR)

312

He has had an awkward relationship during the 2012 campaign with non-liberal outlets, especially the Fox News Channel"

Bret Baier pretty much had him on the ropes with his interview with him a few weeks back. He got ol' Mittens pretty pissed. I loved it. Somebody really needs to challenge him on his alleged "conservative" bona fides, of which he has exactly none.

Mitt is, for all intents and purposes, a Dim. Hell, he's even called himself a "Progressive," which is enough for me not to vote for him unless it comes down to him and El SCOAMF in November. I'll hold my nose just like I did with Juan McLame. It is, after all, his "turn."

We are so boned it just isn't funny anymore.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, CEO Curmudgeons INC. at January 02, 2012 02:39 PM (d0Tfm)

313 Apparently Halloween isn't over. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 02:40 PM (5H6zj)

314

Dragonforce is speed metal on rocket fuel. 

If you want vikings and valkyries, try Amon Amarth.

I really like Pursuit of Vikings, or Fate of Norns.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at January 02, 2012 02:41 PM (lgw0N)

315 318 I'm eating a "new" Pepperidge Farm Chunk Cookie. The "Lexington", it's described as "milk chocolate toffee almond". Pretty damned good.

Yeah, but how many are there in the bag? Maybe 6 or so?

Posted by: booger at January 02, 2012 02:44 PM (EjNp5)

316 Apparently Halloween isn't over. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 06:40 PM (5H6zj)

I hate those two asshats with the white hot heat of a thousand suns.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 02, 2012 02:46 PM (jucos)

317
Steel Panther could resurrect the career of the White Snake chick, Tawny Kitaen.  When not snortin' coke or under arrest, she could dance on the hood of a Government Motors Volt, displaying her sagging breasts and cellulite laden legs while they play Bitch Set Me Up!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 02:46 PM (TkGkA)

318 OT I'm on Twitter now. @STuraniczo

Posted by: steevy at January 02, 2012 02:47 PM (7WJOC)

319 322 Apparently Halloween isn't over. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 06:40 PM (5H6zj)

JEEZUS!  Did she rifle through the maid's closet and just throw random items together.  My 5 yo granddaughter can dress herself better in the dark.

Posted by: Aunt Cranky at January 02, 2012 02:47 PM (JoeF6)

320 Steel Panther could resurrect the career of the White Snake chick, Tawny Kitaen.  When not snortin' coke or under arrest, she could dance on the hood of a Government Motors Volt, displaying her sagging breasts and cellulite laden legs while they play Bitch Set Me Up!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 06:46 PM (TkGkA)

Tawny Kitaen would cave the Craprolet hood.  She is probably pushing 200 pounds at this point.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 02, 2012 02:49 PM (jucos)

321 325 Ugghh.You know they enjoy spending tax payer money.Probably laugh about it.

Posted by: steevy at January 02, 2012 02:50 PM (7WJOC)

322 329 She's hideous now.Sad.

Posted by: steevy at January 02, 2012 02:50 PM (7WJOC)

323 Im looking for a speed metal band with bagpipes that sings in dethek.

Posted by: Jean at January 02, 2012 02:50 PM (bhry2)

324 Think AOSHQ is under DHS surveillance?

Posted by: steevy at January 02, 2012 02:53 PM (7WJOC)

325 Only just today I came across a pron actress

All the way across?  Congratulations - but did you at least have the courtesy to tell her to shield her eyes?

Posted by: Alex at January 02, 2012 02:53 PM (/yzYn)

326 I just came back to the blog since Gabe's post this morning. Just one thing. Fuck you JeffB, pretentious little snot.

Posted by: mpfs at January 02, 2012 02:53 PM (ZDwcq)

327 OK, I guess this is an open thread.  Are there any moronettes here? I need fashion advice.

I am taking my husband to the opening of Verdi's Rigoletto in a couple of weeks here at the Capitol Theater in Salt Lake.  I haven't been to the opera in the U.S. before (just once in London), but I gather opening night can be somewhat dressy.  I don't want the man to have to wear a tux, but I'd like to dress up.  But I don't want to necessarily buy anything new. 

The thing is, the dress I'd like to wear is a satin number - spaghetti straps dress with a bolero jacket.  But it's cream.  Can I wear cream in January?  Does it count as winter white?

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 02:54 PM (5H6zj)

328 Album Cover Girl's got Balls of Steel, Boobs of Silicone, and Brains of Play-dough. I likes it!!

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 02, 2012 02:55 PM (niZvt)

329 ps: So I'm thinking the man will probably either wear a black suit with white shirt and dressy tie (possibly a satin one that coordinates with what I wear) or possibly just a nice black jacket/slacks with an open collar silk shirt. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 02:56 PM (5H6zj)

330 Im looking for a speed metal band with bagpipes that sings in dethek.

Posted by: Jean at January 02, 2012 06:50 PM (bhry2)

Skiltron's Bagpipes of War is the closest I could find.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at January 02, 2012 02:56 PM (lgw0N)

331 332 Im looking for a speed metal band with bagpipes that sings in dethek.

You rang?

Posted by: Morias.Haggis at January 02, 2012 02:56 PM (hyP1j)

332 Why don't you just go with a neon pink tube top, Y-not?

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 02, 2012 02:57 PM (niZvt)

333
I'm not answering that fashion question or someone will call me a bad name.

Posted by: Bwan at January 02, 2012 02:59 PM (TkGkA)

334 Steel Panther is the band that Obama would be in if he was like a totally different person and wasn't the SCOAMF in chief.

Posted by: An Observation at January 02, 2012 02:59 PM (ylhEn)

335 334 Only just today I came across a pron actress All the way across?  Congratulations - but did you at least have the courtesy to tell her to shield her eyes? Posted by: Alex at January 02, 2012 06:53 PM (/yzYn) By across, he meant the screen on his iPhone.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 02, 2012 03:00 PM (niZvt)

336 342 I'm not answering that fashion question or someone will call me a bad name. Posted by: Bwan at January 02, 2012 06:59 PM (TkGkA) Are the 'ettes cranky today?

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 02, 2012 03:01 PM (niZvt)

337 341 Why don't you just go with a neon pink tube top, Y-not?

heh

Pink seems to have been last year's color. This year's color, judging from what I'm seeing in the stores, is SEIU purple. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 03:01 PM (5H6zj)

338 Good Rose Bowl game going on, I think Oregon might have a problem in this one.

Posted by: lowandslow at January 02, 2012 03:04 PM (GZitp)

339 Cream is definitely winter white, Y-not. I think a tie is probably a good idea for the mister.

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 03:04 PM (SsG4J)

340 The thing is, the dress I'd like to wear is a satin number - spaghetti straps dress with a bolero jacket.  But it's cream.  Can I wear cream in January?  Does it count as winter white?

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 06:54 PM (5H6zj)

Pair it with black accessories.  As for your husband, a nice suit should be just fine.

Posted by: Aunt Cranky at January 02, 2012 03:04 PM (JoeF6)

341
Only just today I came across a pron actress

I trust you weren't a prick and were willing to throw her a bone?

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 03:04 PM (TkGkA)

342 'Steel Panther'? That's a play on De(a)f Leppard, right? They'd have been better served to go with their first choice: Lame Cougar...

Posted by: Affenhauer at January 02, 2012 03:04 PM (f/Sj/)

343 They'd have been better served to go with their first choice: Lame Cougar...

Posted by: Affenhauer at January 02, 2012 07:04 PM (f/Sj/)

I knew a lame cougar once. She knew how to use that wooden leg in ways you wouldn't believe.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 02, 2012 03:05 PM (73tyQ)

344 I think they get old fast. The shock value diminishes pretty quickly. It does not seem as if they spent much time writing most of their songs, rather the just picked a subject and slapped the most offensive lines the could cobble together on top of a score. The whole asian hooker thing was not even half assed. I think they have a reverse "smell the glove" problem if you will. Since there were no rules or restrictions on their lyrics they were not forced to ramp up the creativity. there was actually an interesting article in the WSJ a couple of weeks ago discussing how rules actually spur creativity in some ways.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:06 PM (loM0R)

345 Pair it with black accessories.  As for your husband, a nice suit should be just fine.

So black shoes, black bag? 

Should I switch to a black satin bolero (I already have one) or is that too matchy?

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 03:06 PM (5H6zj)

346
Wearing fur or mink at the opera is a plus, especially when the liberal moonbats are in attendance, or at least Vivian Ward.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 03:06 PM (TkGkA)

347 Yeah, but how many are there in the bag? Maybe 6 or so?

Posted by: booger at January 02, 2012 06:44 PM (EjNp5)


That reminds me of the Brian Regan bit about eating fig newtons.

Posted by: lowandslow at January 02, 2012 03:06 PM (GZitp)

348 Good evening everyone. Miss Tammy (hat tip).

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:07 PM (loM0R)

349

I knew a lame cougar once. She knew how to use that wooden leg in ways you wouldn't believe.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 02, 2012 07:05 PM (73tyQ)

Was her name Ilene?

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at January 02, 2012 03:07 PM (lgw0N)

350 Hey, Tammy Thor, I would have been the Number One Commenter last week except you outposted me by fifty percent! Just how much caffeine do you do, girl??

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 02, 2012 03:08 PM (niZvt)

351

The thing is, the dress I'd like to wear is a satin number - spaghetti straps dress with a bolero jacket. But it's cream. Can I wear cream in January? Does it count as winter white?

Sounds lovely, Y-not. .....And yes, you can wear cream in January. Call it winter white, or eggshell, if need be. .....But as a color, cream can be worn the year round.

Posted by: wheatie at January 02, 2012 03:09 PM (oPkw3)

352 329 Steel Panther could resurrect the career of the White Snake chick, Tawny Kitaen. When not snortin' coke or under arrest, she could dance on the hood of a Government Motors Volt, displaying her sagging breasts and cellulite laden legs while they play Bitch Set Me Up! Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 06:46 PM (TkGkA) Tawny Kitaen would cave the Craprolet hood. She is probably pushing 200 pounds at this point. Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 02, 2012 06:49 PM (jucos) ya know orenthal was goin' at it with her while he was married.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:09 PM (loM0R)

353 So black shoes, black bag? 

Should I switch to a black satin bolero (I already have one) or is that too matchy?

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 07:06 PM (5H6zj)

That actually sounds nice and a bit more wintery.

Posted by: Aunt Cranky at January 02, 2012 03:10 PM (JoeF6)

354 8, booger.
I know it's probably kind of a rip-off , but they are definitely better than all the "Chips Ahoy', etc. stuff.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 02, 2012 03:10 PM (Qjh0I)

355 Hey, yankeefifth!

I am checking out videos. Rodent Liberation Front was not exaggerating about Dragonforce and rocket fuel.

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 03:10 PM (SsG4J)

356 Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 02, 2012 06:49 PM (jucos)

ya know orenthal was goin' at it with her while he was married.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 07:09 PM (loM0R)

Most unfortunately, Orenthal is dating Big Bubba and unavailable.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 03:11 PM (TkGkA)

357 Thank you, moronettes!

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 03:12 PM (5H6zj)

358

Come to the HQ for hilarity, stay for the fashion tips.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 03:12 PM (TkGkA)

359 Still tripping on Die Antwoord - Evil Boy (Explicit Version)

I think you can go to hell for just watching it.

Posted by: toby928© at January 02, 2012 03:13 PM (GTbGH)

360 I am checking out videos. Rodent Liberation Front was not exaggerating about Dragonforce and rocket fuel.

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 07:10 PM (SsG4J)

Through the Fire and the Flames is their best imo.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at January 02, 2012 03:13 PM (lgw0N)

361 I saw Ratt & Bon Jovi in the Starry Night Club in Portland in 1984. Later that night we were arrested for driving the wrong way across the Burnside bridge. Alcohol was involved. I blame Ratt.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 30, 2011 03:47 PM (+lsX1)

I went on a double date to see Bon Jovi at Cardi's in Houston. The four of us got there early so we got a table about 5 feet from the stage. When they came on stage they were so loud one of their speakers caught on fire right in front of us.

Just before they came on, the other guy went to the bar to get us all a round of drinks. His girl leaned over to me and said "Is she your date?" pointing at the girl I was with. I said that she was and then she said "She hasn't paid any attention to you the whole time we've been here."

I thought about what she said, laughed and then said back to her "You know, I'm so used to women ignoring me, I didn't even notice."

Posted by: An Observation at January 02, 2012 03:15 PM (ylhEn)

362 363 So black shoes, black bag?

Should I switch to a black satin bolero (I already have one) or is that too matchy?

Posted by: Y-not at January 02, 2012 07:06 PM (5H6zj)

That actually sounds nice and a bit more wintery.

--------

Agreed. .....The black satin bolero would prolly go great below the little bolero jacket.

Posted by: wheatie at January 02, 2012 03:16 PM (oPkw3)

363
So Tawny, Margaret Cho, and Rachel Madcow walk into a chick biker bar...

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 03:16 PM (TkGkA)

364 Through the Fire and the Flames is their best imo.

That's the first one I listened to. Speed alone isn't generally my thing, but man, it's impressive!

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 03:16 PM (SsG4J)

365 Most unfortunately, Orenthal is dating Big Bubba and unavailable. Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 07:11 PM (TkGkA) yeah, he deserves to be in the slammer but I am not sure the way he wound up there was kosher.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:17 PM (loM0R)

366
“Obama needs a glassectomy. Ask me what a glassectomy is, Joe,” said Volkmann. Rogan obliged. “It’s where they remove the belly button and put a piece of glass in there so you can see what you’re doing while your head’s up your [expletive],” said Volkmann. [endquote] Big fan of the UFC all of a sudden... ht gatewaypundit

Posted by: AlwaysOT at January 02, 2012 03:18 PM (/MuFf)

367 373 So Tawny, Margaret Cho, and Rachel Madcow walk into a chick biker bar... Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 07:16 PM (TkGkA) ha - you cannot take margaret cho into a bar it will ruin their food safety grade.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:19 PM (loM0R)

368 he deserves to be in the slammer but I am not sure the way he wound up there was kosher.

I didn't follow the Vegas trial, but I got the impression there was some retro justice sentiment involved.

I don't feel sorry for him, though, because how stupid can you be to even think about getting involved in something like that when you know people are waiting for any excuse to lock you up??

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 03:20 PM (SsG4J)

369
yeah, he deserves to be in the slammer but I am not sure the way he wound up there was kosher.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 07:17 PM (loM0R)

Agreed.  The acrimonious and possibly perjured testimony by the cast of miscreants was damaging, and the District Attorney cut a lot of deals with criminal buffoon's to sink OJ's boat. 


Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 03:20 PM (TkGkA)

370 I didn't follow the Vegas trial, but I got the impression there was some retro justice sentiment involved. I don't feel sorry for him, though, because how stupid can you be to even think about getting involved in something like that when you know people are waiting for any excuse to lock you up?? Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 07:20 PM (SsG4J) i did not follow it either and I do not feel sorry for him. the only thing from my perspective is that so many in the legal system, the media, and average schmoes were fine with the idea that there was a retributive element to his vegas conviction.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:23 PM (loM0R)

371

That's the first one I listened to. Speed alone isn't generally my thing, but man, it's impressive!

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 07:16 PM (SsG4J)

I can only take it in small doses myself. The melody is lost.

If there is one band I'd love to turn people on to it'd be Sirenia.

Try The Other Side.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at January 02, 2012 03:25 PM (lgw0N)

372

369 Still tripping on Die Antwoord - Evil Boy (Explicit Version)

I think you can go to hell for just watching it. 

Dayum. ....I'm going to hell now. .....I think I've been leading a sheltered life. But I'd like to keep it that way.

The freaky thing for me, is how much that wheat-headed girl looks like me. Whoa.

Posted by: wheatie at January 02, 2012 03:27 PM (oPkw3)

373 Agreed. The acrimonious and possibly perjured testimony by the cast of miscreants was damaging, and the District Attorney cut a lot of deals with criminal buffoon's to sink OJ's boat. Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 07:20 PM (TkGkA) i will risk banishment and say i feel similarly for that casey anthony girl as well. probably did it but should not be getting stuck with the bill for the police investigation. if they are unable to prove their case and toss you in the slammer then they bankrupt you.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:27 PM (loM0R)

374 Thank god I am just a dog!

Posted by: Killerdog at January 02, 2012 03:28 PM (CZrbJ)

375
“Obama needs a glassectomy. Ask me what a glassectomy is, Joe,” said Volkmann.

Rogan obliged.

“It’s where they remove the belly button and put a piece of glass in there so you can see what you’re doing while your head’s up your [expletive],” said Volkmann. [endquote]

Big fan of the UFC all of a sudden...

ht gatewaypundit

Posted by: AlwaysOT at January 02, 2012 07:18 PM (/MuFf)

Nice, but Joe Rogan is still a conspiracy theory, Truther, thinks he's smarter because he as the secret knowledge sucker of Alex Jones' cock, and I say that as someone who occasionally listens to his podcast on the SiriusXM Opie & Anthony channel.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at January 02, 2012 03:29 PM (zpgiG)

376

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 07:16 PM (SsG4J)

And I love the WoT reference. I've been meaning to re-read that series.

Trueblood Manatherin.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at January 02, 2012 03:33 PM (lgw0N)

377

...but should not be getting stuck with the bill for the police investigation.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 07:27 PM (loM0R)

The rationale for forcing payment was her persistent prevarication during the investigation, even when repeatedly confronted by police questioners and informed they knew she was lying.  Casey Anthony refused to acknowledge her repetitive lying, and only at trial did her attorney acknowledge she was a serial liar.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 03:35 PM (TkGkA)

378

The rationale for forcing payment was her persistent prevarication during the investigation, even when repeatedly confronted by police questioners and informed they knew she was lying.  Casey Anthony refused to acknowledge her repetitive lying, and only at trial did her attorney acknowledge she was a serial liar.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 07:35 PM (TkGkA)

That bitch is going to make a boatload of cash when she sells herself to Playboy or Hustler, or for a sympathetic "Lifetime" channel biopic.  I hope there is a special corner of hell for a person like her.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 02, 2012 03:40 PM (jucos)

379 The rationale for forcing payment was her persistent prevarication during the investigation, even when repeatedly confronted by police questioners and informed they knew she was lying. Casey Anthony refused to acknowledge her repetitive lying, and only at trial did her attorney acknowledge she was a serial liar. Posted by: Doctor Fish at January 02, 2012 07:35 PM (TkGkA) I did hear she told some fantastic lies. I think she said she worked at disney or someplace similar, took the cops to the building she claimed to work in and, walked around in the offices for a while and then just said ok ya' got me I don't have a job here." I understand why they did what they did. I am still not comfortable with it. In the last several years there have been a few false claims where groups of young were rounded up thrown, again, in the slammer had there reputations ruined and then their accuser says "uh made it all up my bad" and gets off with nothing. long way to say either cop costs are standard practice for goose and gander or no one.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:41 PM (loM0R)

380 Just bought the album - get the boner - I mean bonus digital booklet - Just don't let your kids know what you are listening to on your iPhone.....

Posted by: izoneguy at January 02, 2012 03:44 PM (i6Neb)

381 RLF, I like Sirenia enough to explore further, thanks! My main complaint is as always that the overall sound is too synthesized for my taste, but I"m getting used to it! Thanks again for the recommendation.

yankee, I agree with you in general, but since her entire defense was that the baby drowned, then I think it's fair enough she get stuck with the bill. She obviously knew there was no need to look for the body.

Also agree that it is wrong of folks being okay with OJ getting railroaded, if he did.

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 03:45 PM (SsG4J)

382 RLF, I have yet to read the series myself! I learned of it here, and keep meaning to get started on it, but I spend too much time in the comment section on this blog, lol!


Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 03:48 PM (SsG4J)

383 Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 07:45 PM (SsG4J) One of the many things that keeps me awake at night, in addition to my methlab staring at me and sniffing me every time I roll over, is that so many people are comfortable with they got what they deserved/we know he did it standard not they are innocent until proven guilty standard. By people I do not mean the glorious moron hordes I have the privilege of typing with here but the ones that queued up outside the courtroom to get seats every day. Every new day with zero in office it seems as if the rule of law is being eroded a little more and replaced with the rule of zero. I feel like we need to stand fast against every incremental bit of erosion in every silly instance even in comparatively "silly" instances like casey anthony's. Interestingly, every new day I have more respect for thos founding fathers, they were a clever bunch.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 02, 2012 03:55 PM (loM0R)

384 Yep, I see an increasing amount of people who think the laws/rules should be followed until they themselves do not like it, then suddenly we need new ones or should ignore the current ones.

With regards to trials, I would like to see some sort of fix for the "reasonable doubt" standard, and I also do not think anyone should be allowed to throw things out in opening or closing arguments that is not true.

And no, I have no idea what I would do to change them; the main problem may well be just that people are too stupid now, or have lost the ability to think rationally. But I have seen too many trials end badly because of some entirely made up BS tossed out in opening statements that are later cited as jurors for their reasonable doubt.

Posted by: Tammy al' Thor at January 02, 2012 04:27 PM (SsG4J)

385 I dig the stupidity, pro-drug messaging, misogyny, homophobia, and nonstop degrading sexual material, but where's the racial offensiveness? Is that right? Am I in now? 

Posted by: Errol at January 02, 2012 04:29 PM (vewos)

386 Ace, you should convert your blog from politics to heavy metal reviews.

Kick out all the homos you have working for you an just make me, Berserker and Tammy your cobs.  Millions of hits await, Dear Furry Leader!

Posted by: Robert at January 02, 2012 05:51 PM (F79HU)

387 rmt

Posted by: rmt at January 02, 2012 08:52 PM (ttGYu)

388

 

<a href="http://www.almndob.com/">  ÊÓæíÞ ÇáßÊÑæäí </a> thank <a href=" http://www.almndob.com/">ÏÚÇíÉ æÇÚáÇä </a> you <a href="http://www.almndob.com /">ÊÓæíÞ </a> man <a href="http://www.almndob.com /"> sms</a> that <a href="http:// www.almndob.com ">  ÊÓæíÞ ÇáßÊÑæäí </a> good  

Posted by: sms at January 02, 2012 10:11 PM (bBzuU)

389 Too dumb for metal? I heard there used to be a band that was actually called "Metallica". There's never going to be a better formula for dumb band names than "genre"="uh".

Posted by: Dave M at January 03, 2012 10:15 AM (hFGoR)

Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.
289kb generated in CPU 0.2003, elapsed 0.4113 seconds.
64 queries taking 0.3443 seconds, 517 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.

Support





Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact

Change the At to "@" and the DOT to "."




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Search Thingy



Archives

Monthly Traffic

  • Pages: 43039
  • Files: 394
  • Bytes: 1175.7M
  • CPU Time: 56:22
  • Queries: 1302600

Content

  • Posts: 22824
  • Comments: 5953260

Feeds


RSS 2.0 Atom 1.0