Ace of Spades HQ

February 28, 2012

Stephen Hawking Once Went to A California Swingers Sex Club
— Ace

Cambridge university today admitted the 70-year-old has visited a swingersÂ’ sex club in California.
However, they denied claims that he was a regular.
The story emerged last week when a U.S. website reported that Professor Hawking dropped in at the Freedom Acres club in Devore, where he is said to have arrived with an entourage of nurses and assistants before paying for young, naked dancers to perform privately for him.
Radaronline claimed that Professor Hawking had visited the club in the past five years.
A source told the website: Â‘I have seen Steven Hawking at the club more than a handful of times.Â’
But today a Cambridge University spokesman said: Â‘It is not true that Professor Hawking is a Â“regularÂ” visitor to the club in question.

He also visits a strip club in London called Stringfellows.

Eh. Not sure why people are mystified that the handicapped have a sex drive.

I don't know if this is funny enough to post, but it's so congruent with the story I feel I have to. Skip to 1:10 to hear David Cross' (content warning for sexual language and general awfulness) impression of Stephen Hawking with a prostitute.

The earlier impression, before that, is of a sickly crack baby. The impression is not done for laughs but for shock. An even bigger content warning for that first one. It doesn't contain language; it's just meant to be a sick joke, and will be offensive to nearly everyone.

So skip that.

Posted by: Ace at 09:59 AM | Comments (97)
Post contains 270 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Castrate him Rick!

Posted by: Savanarola at February 28, 2012 10:00 AM (Gx3Fe)

2 He was researching black holes.

Posted by: Michael at February 28, 2012 10:02 AM (2fJD1)

3 This is really just kind of.....sad.....more than anything else.

Posted by: wheatie at February 28, 2012 10:03 AM (UOOK1)

4 The smartest Moron we know.

Posted by: EC at February 28, 2012 10:03 AM (GQ8sn)

5 IJ has filed an amicus brief to the Supreme Court?...nope posting Stephen Hawkins soft core adventures. Yea! ////

Posted by: Brian at February 28, 2012 10:03 AM (wTSvK)

6 So the smartest guy in the world still likes to look at tits and ass every now and then. This is news? More like last Sat night.

Posted by: EC at February 28, 2012 10:05 AM (GQ8sn)

7 meh. not offended by the crack baby. I guess I'm messed up and yay Hawking! good for him! There was some recent show about a call girl who works exclusively in the disability arena - wow. She was kind of an amazing person. I mean, yes she takes money. But still. Was pretty poignant.

Posted by: BlackOrchid at February 28, 2012 10:05 AM (SB0V2)

8 I think a Hawking's review of Japanese SexBots would be appropriate for this blog. Give the blog some science cred.

Posted by: Jean, turning blue at February 28, 2012 10:05 AM (WkuV6)

Stephen Hawking like strippers/sex shows and David Cross isn't funny. Well, at least one of these things was news to me.

Posted by: Insomniac at February 28, 2012 10:06 AM (DrWcr)

10 And this all started with birth control and ABC After-school Specials but mostly birth control!!!!!

Posted by: Rick Horsey-assy Santorum [/i] at February 28, 2012 10:06 AM (9Hw3U)

11 [Shrugs] He remembers sex, and misses it, and likes to be reminded of how wonderful the female body is. It just means he's a man. No harm, no foul.

Posted by: joncelli at February 28, 2012 10:07 AM (RD7QR)

12 The universe isn't the only thing expanding over here, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Stephen Hawking at February 28, 2012 10:07 AM (DrWcr)

13 Would.a.hand.job.be.out.of.the.question?

Posted by: Steve Hawking at February 28, 2012 10:07 AM (/ZZCn)

14 *computer voice on*

Stringfellows... I thought it was a place where fellows could talk about string theory.

Yah.

Yah.

That's the ticket.

*computer voice off)

Posted by: Stephen Hawking at February 28, 2012 10:08 AM (g8C+4)

15 IJ has filed an amicus brief to the Supreme Court?...nope posting Stephen Hawkins soft core adventures. Yea! ////

Posted by: Brian at February 28, 2012 02:03 PM (wTSvK)

Here's an idea ... Start your own fucking blog and post about it. Asshole.

Posted by: Dumb_Blonde at February 28, 2012 10:08 AM (Zj7+u)

16 No baby voice can be funnier that Glenn Beck's fetus-voice. That was comedy gold.

Posted by: Lance MCormick at February 28, 2012 10:09 AM (bp264)

17 Everyone knows that Hawking is not inactive in the bedroom department, if you know what I mean. There were stories like this decades ago (maybe not about the swinger sex club specifically, but about his activity in general).

Posted by: elizabethe only loves Rick Perry more at February 28, 2012 10:09 AM (aAln3)

18 In the same category as your parents had sex at least once.

Posted by: USA at February 28, 2012 10:09 AM (6Cjut)

19 >>>IJ has filed an amicus brief to the Supreme Court?...nope posting Stephen Hawkins soft core adventures. Yea! //// Cool!!! Tell me what your blog is dude!!!

Posted by: ace at February 28, 2012 10:10 AM (nj1bB)

20 19 usa mine had it at least 5 times and i had it at least 4

Posted by: phoenixgirl at February 28, 2012 10:10 AM (Ho2rs)

21
Its always the rich and famous scoring with the hot chicks. Bastards.

ps- good for him I think. Except he may be married, so that's a violation. Not that most of the attendees aren't married there.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 28, 2012 10:11 AM (r+9M6)

22 Brian, you think that's a pretty good argument, huh? Does that mean that auto-insurance mandates are illegal?

Posted by: ace at February 28, 2012 10:12 AM (nj1bB)

My only comment is hmmm.

And that's not a comment on Hawkins.

Posted by: Meremortal at February 28, 2012 10:12 AM (Usk3+)

Why, in my head, do I hear the computer voice from the movie 'War Games' saying to a stripper, "Would you like to play a game?"

Posted by: ole scratch at February 28, 2012 10:12 AM (+56Bh)

25 Do you actually think any court would accept such an unexpected and broad proposition, or do you just like seeing arguments for My Team cluttering up your mindspace?

Posted by: ace at February 28, 2012 10:12 AM (nj1bB)

26 did someone fart in here?

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at February 28, 2012 10:14 AM (UqKQV)

27 21 phoenixgirl Hide the salami is man-kind's oldest game.

Posted by: USA at February 28, 2012 10:14 AM (6Cjut)

28 This is an non-story. A conservative organization is filing a brief on an argument that will not, I'm certain, even be part of the playing field in the actual case. What do I do? Do I just post it? For what reason? So we can say "yay, team"?

Posted by: ace at February 28, 2012 10:14 AM (nj1bB)

29 ""Why, in my head, do I hear the computer voice from the movie 'War Games' saying to a stripper, "Would you like to play a game?""

probably the same reason I hear the Borg voice saying "resistance is futile"

Posted by: Berserker at February 28, 2012 10:14 AM (FMbng)

30 22 - I think Hawking is divorced from his last wife. IIRC, he divorced his first wife and then shacked up with his nurse, and then eventually divorced her too. So he's free and clear to ponder the grand unification theory of the the universe and the role of pussy.

Posted by: EC at February 28, 2012 10:15 AM (GQ8sn)

31 Now the lobbyist is speaking about IPAB (death panels) and how they are modeled on the federal reserve system. We're fucked.

Posted by: Hedgehog at February 28, 2012 10:15 AM (BpX7S)

32
Let's say we are the only intelligent beings in the whole universe. Then I say G-String theory is the best theory for the universe there could be.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 28, 2012 10:16 AM (r+9M6)

33 Hawkings has sex. Good for him. I hope he gets it often and good.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 28, 2012 10:16 AM (i6RpT)

Stephen Hawking can "make it rain" while a stripper with a beer gut dances to Easy-E's "Gimme That Nutt".

What a world.

Posted by: wooga at February 28, 2012 10:17 AM (vjyZP)

35 Hawking...... Hawking..... Red dot or feather?

Posted by: Sheriff Joe Biden at February 28, 2012 10:17 AM (jucos)

36 Is this somehow connected to the story yesterday about the monkeys paying for sex?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at February 28, 2012 10:17 AM (tf9Ne)

37 The only time David Cross offends me is when he offers up a non-comedic political opinion. HBO's Mr Show was, at times, the funniest thing ever.

Posted by: LobarPendulum at February 28, 2012 10:17 AM (LoW/l)

38 I can't wait to see the Taiwanese animation of this!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 28, 2012 10:18 AM (f9c2L)

39 32 Now the lobbyist is speaking about IPAB (death panels) and how they are modeled on the federal reserve system. We're fucked.

Posted by: Hedgehog at February 28, 2012 02:15 PM (BpX7S)

Any lobbyist in particular? And does he think it's a good idea or bad?

Posted by: joncelli at February 28, 2012 10:18 AM (RD7QR)

40 Was David Cross the guy in the Men In Black movies? I'm too lazy to go look it up.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 28, 2012 10:19 AM (f9c2L)

41 39 chi-town haha

Posted by: phoenixgirl at February 28, 2012 10:19 AM (Ho2rs)

42 I'm jealous. 'Lil Keef no longer snaps to attention.

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at February 28, 2012 10:19 AM (jucos)

43 "A Brief History of That Time."

Posted by: dfbaskwill at February 28, 2012 10:19 AM (71LDo)

44 I'm more surprised that at his age he still has a sex drive. Actually I'd be more shocked if I found out he was a regular Coast to Coast listener

Posted by: JustALowlyMoron at February 28, 2012 10:19 AM (s7nqs)

45 by "not a regular vistor" do they mean he doesn't go there regularly or he's different from everyone else?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at February 28, 2012 10:20 AM (Ho2rs)

46 @32 he is a former Republican senate staffer. Obamacare is law and we are fucked.

Posted by: Hedgehog at February 28, 2012 10:20 AM (BpX7S)

hahahaha!

good for him

Posted by: montgomery burns at February 28, 2012 10:20 AM (K/USr)

48
I wonder if he has a computer voice that is different for going there. Like maybe the guy from Allstate voice.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 28, 2012 10:20 AM (r+9M6)

49 I wonder if he has a computer voice that is different for going there. Like maybe the guy from Allstate voice. Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 28, 2012 02:20 PM (r+9M6) ------------------------------------------------ Barry White

Posted by: Truck Monkey at February 28, 2012 10:21 AM (jucos)

50 HBO's Mr Show was, at times, the funniest thing ever.

The only thing that ever justified HBO's existence IMHO.

Posted by: eleven at February 28, 2012 10:21 AM (KXm42)

51 Just working on another paper about g-string theory

Posted by: whackamole at February 28, 2012 10:22 AM (s7nqs)

52 47 @32 he is a former Republican senate staffer. Obamacare is law and we are fucked.

Posted by: Hedgehog at February 28, 2012 02:20 PM (BpX7S)

Ah, but don't call them Death Panels. They're "End of Your Pathetic Existence, Prole" Panels.

Posted by: joncelli at February 28, 2012 10:22 AM (RD7QR)

53 Damn, even he is getting more than me. Depressing......

Posted by: wrg500 at February 28, 2012 10:23 AM (mB2ub)

54 I'd buy him a lap dance. And a beer.

Posted by: USA at February 28, 2012 10:23 AM (6Cjut)

55 I know it's true because I saw him with my own eyes when I worked there back in the day.

Posted by: Scope at February 28, 2012 10:24 AM (gzO4n)

56 I oppose censorship, but this is the kind of story that just shouldn't be reported by anyone with editorial decency.

The activity is legal, and it's not news. It's to poke fun and embarrass a man who got a great brain but horrible body otherwise.

If a sex club isn't for someone like Hawking, who is it for?

Perhaps the Daily Mail should interview him to ask whether he masturbates, too.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at February 28, 2012 10:25 AM (P136z)

57 Hawking is a scientist. He was conducting a study about Climate Change. The Strippers did indeed cause his globe to warm.

Posted by: Rocks at February 28, 2012 10:25 AM (Q1lie)

58 The impression would be funnier if he rocked the chair back and forth IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: DaveA at February 28, 2012 10:25 AM (2eUbq)

59 Good for Hawking. Great minds and throbbing cocks; that's what has made this country great.

Posted by: Soona at February 28, 2012 10:26 AM (EI3l3)

60 Stephen Hawking studies heavenly bodies.

Then he goes back to his lab to look through his telescope.

Posted by: EC at February 28, 2012 10:27 AM (GQ8sn)

61 Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot, Chicken Pot Hair Pieeeeee!

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at February 28, 2012 10:27 AM (qCR9V)

There was some recent show about a call girl who works exclusively in the disability arena - wow. She was kind of an amazing person. I mean, yes she takes money. But still.

Was pretty poignant.

Posted by: BlackOrchid at February 28, 2012 02:05 PM (SB0V2)

Some people pay extra for that kind of action. Oops, nevermind. I thought you misspelled.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at February 28, 2012 10:28 AM (qx7YW)

63 {Family Guy} beat him to it (I think).

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at February 28, 2012 10:30 AM (0AClR)

64 They should an episode of Big Bang Theory set in the future where Sheldon is in a wheelchair and he goes to a titty bar and gets a lap dance.

Posted by: EC at February 28, 2012 10:30 AM (GQ8sn)

65 Skip to :47 for the sex scene. http://youtu.be/rWbLk7BVsDg

Posted by: Cokie Monster at February 28, 2012 10:31 AM (4136b)

C:/>CD PIMP

C:/PIMP/>RUN PLAYA.EXE

>AA AH, YO, GIRL. DAY AM, EMPHASIS

>INTERROGATIVE WHY DOONT YOU CAHM HERE AA AND HOLLER AT A MOTHERFUCKER YO

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 28, 2012 10:32 AM (Wi8JV)

67 :Shakes fist at Krebs v Carnot:

Posted by: Cokie Monster at February 28, 2012 10:32 AM (4136b)

68 Off, you coke fueled muppet sock.

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at February 28, 2012 10:33 AM (4136b)

69 I remember the grand opening of Stringfellows on E21st in Manhattan. Good Times!

Posted by: sickinmass at February 28, 2012 10:33 AM (bcNec)

You gotta pay extra for that kind of action, Cotton.

(Still. Shudder)

Posted by: dagny at February 28, 2012 10:35 AM (u50z0)

71 Why the hell doesn't he have groupies? Music stars get them. Hollyweird gets them. Dumber than dirt jocks get them. Politicians usually just steal them from somewhere.

It's not fair! Science stars ought to have groupies too.

I say we petition Congress to pass a law.

Posted by: GnuBreed at February 28, 2012 10:35 AM (ccXZP)

Acer, re "auto-insurance mandates:"

Not to pick nits, but these are not the same. I'm not forced to buy insurance on my car if I'mnot operating it (or one) on the public roads. Around my (hypothetical) farm? Nope. If I take the bus? Nope.

Just sayin'.

(And hoping I finally got the hang of line-breaks)

Posted by: speedster1 at February 28, 2012 10:35 AM (v40Bj)

73 I really don't give a shit who plays with Stephen Hawkins shriveled wee-wee. Why is there no post on the healthcare cost for our Military and Veterans going up (up to 325%), while the civilians in the union is protected from any increase?

Posted by: Ma Bell at February 28, 2012 10:35 AM (uVuwp)

74 I FIND YOUR THEORY OF A TACO SHAPED UNIVERSE INTRIGUING

Posted by: Stephen Hawking at February 28, 2012 10:35 AM (GTbGH)

Ooops: "Acer" = Ace.

PIMF (but at least the line-breaks seem to work for me)

Posted by: speedster1 at February 28, 2012 10:35 AM (v40Bj)

76 I'm impressed with how long he has survived. Motor neurone disease is related to ALS and that shit killed a friend of mine in less than a year.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at February 28, 2012 10:37 AM (OBDWE)

77 Why would Cambridge even entertain discussion of this matter? Just say FYNQ every time they ask.

The dude has some problems I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and if he can derive some pleasure out of some strippers, I'm actually glad. It's not something that I think is wise in most cases, but I don't get to run anyone's life and this is a special case anyway.

Posted by: Dustin at February 28, 2012 10:48 AM (wcT+8)

I'm appalled this is a story. What a sick fucking culture.

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at February 28, 2012 10:50 AM (mP3uM)

58 I oppose censorship, but this is the kind of story that just shouldn't be reported by anyone with editorial decency.

This.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 28, 2012 10:51 AM (43cx7)

80 David Cross: "Oh! Well...that's odd. I don't think I ordered the CHRISTIAN sandwich. " Gee. That's too bad David. I'm sorry that a fucking NOTE on a sandwich ruined your fucking 'rich guy who flies a lot' day. I hope you'll be okay. Say, did I order a bald, whining, smug, asshole comedian or did that shit just show up on HBO the same way that that evil Christian sandwich that violated your rights just showed up unexpectedly on your plane trip? Well, okay then. Bob Odenkirk is the funny one anyway.

Posted by: cackfinger at February 28, 2012 10:51 AM (a9mQu)

81 I wasn't too offended by the crack baby impression, since a segment of his audience would likely give birth to one were it not for cheap government subsidized abortions.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at February 28, 2012 10:54 AM (gtjHD)

82 First thing I thought of when I heard this, from "Family Guy": Boom Shakka Lakka Lakka, Boom

Posted by: Saltyron at February 28, 2012 10:55 AM (IkvAb)

83 I wonder if he has "moan" function on his voice-a-lator?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at February 28, 2012 11:13 AM (iAUf+)

84 Leave him alone, he was just investigating the single entity that had formed there. Who hasn't been a bit curious about black hoes, should throw the first stone?

Posted by: befuddled at February 28, 2012 11:24 AM (xJU23)

85 We shouldn't know this about the guy. And David Cross is a creep.

Posted by: Kensington at February 28, 2012 11:27 AM (/AHDz)

86 Hawking thinking " And you thought " A Brief History of Time" was hard.

Posted by: seamrog at February 28, 2012 11:45 AM (VSHNR)

87 and RP Feynman (Nobel laureate in Physics 1965) did his grading and other paperwork in strip clubs in California. Admitted it in his book "Surely you are joking Mr. Feynman". Nothing to see here. No scandal. No problem. The guy is confined to a wheel chair for chrissakes. If watching gyrating hips and other parts is something that, temporarily, takes his mind off his condition, I think its fine. Given what he's contributed to our understanding of stellar processes near their terminal phase, yeah, I'm perfectly fine with this.

Posted by: John Galt at February 28, 2012 12:04 PM (9NQ6I)

88 Stephen Hawking is the longest survivor of ALS known of in the world. In my opinion, he can do whatever the hell he likes. I wouldn't have his life for all the gold in China.

Posted by: Sarah at February 28, 2012 12:26 PM (gCAFk)

89 He is after all a man.

Posted by: HEP-T at February 28, 2012 12:32 PM (tGH2B)

90
So his dick-bones not broke. BDF.

Posted by: sTevo at February 28, 2012 12:44 PM (K/OLb)

91 Like my brain...BFD.

Posted by: sTevo at February 28, 2012 12:45 PM (K/OLb)

Noted physicist Feynman did the same thing ( at first claiming he did not know what type of joint he was going into in Buffalo, NY (i think that was the town).

Then he became a regular, then moved to LA for better quality.

And then spent a lot of time in Brazil, for higher quantity

Posted by: john b at February 28, 2012 12:50 PM (ki2lW)

93 This post got 94 comments? Are you fucking kidding me?

And not one that said "250 bucks for a lap dance in the Champagne Room and I can't even move my hands."

This place has gone to hell.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 28, 2012 01:08 PM (zlvkY)

94 He's Godless fucker and I can't believe he's still here stealing m myO2.

Posted by: Cast Iron at February 28, 2012 01:13 PM (EL+OC)

95 Uh, dude, he's a cripple. That can't even jack off. It's Lent, for Christ's sake.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 28, 2012 01:16 PM (zlvkY)

96 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at February 28, 2012 01:50 PM (7W3wI)

97 He can undress women with his mind and twenty bucks. But mostly twenty bucks.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at February 28, 2012 03:12 PM (SzAZ7)

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