Ace of Spades HQ

August 10, 2012

Study: Women Receive Health Benefits By Giving Oral Sex
— Ace

This is like the oldest story on the Internet. I've been linking this same basic claim since I started the blog.

But I guess I just need the word to finally get out.

Pregnant women have used natural remedies such as a teaspoon of ginger or a mint to help battle morning sickness. But now, one medical professional believes you can add oral sex to that list.
According to Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany, the best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is sperm.

Now that's about pregnant women, but I heard from an investor at Bain that it applies to all women in all circumstances.

Posted by: Ace at 12:24 PM | Comments (192)
Post contains 126 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Is there nothing semen can't do?

Posted by: toby928© at August 10, 2012 12:25 PM (evdj2)

2 Honey, I'm home!

Posted by: fluffy at August 10, 2012 12:26 PM (3SvjA)

3 Gosh, a male scientist found a benefit for women in the sucking of cock. Who'd a thunk it?

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:26 PM (kXoT0)

4 I had the worst morning sickness ever for the first four months. And I can assure anyone, that I would have cut a certain body part off with pruning shears if it had come anywhere near my mouth.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 12:26 PM (UOM48)

5 It's better to give than to receive, gentlemen.

Posted by: Y-not at August 10, 2012 12:26 PM (5H6zj)

6 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 10, 2012 12:27 PM (8y9MW)

7 If this was a study from a federal grant, this guy is a god to me. Yes, THE BALLS ON THIS GUY.

Posted by: toby928© at August 10, 2012 12:27 PM (evdj2)

8 Cum with me if you want to live.

Posted by: Arnold at August 10, 2012 12:27 PM (TFkyK)

9 You want to feel better honey? Well first....

Posted by: Mel Gibson at August 10, 2012 12:27 PM (GULKT)

10 I had the worst morning sickness ever for the first four months. And I can assure anyone, that I would have cut a certain body part off with pruning shears if it had come anywhere near my mouth.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 04:26 PM (UOM4

Me too, Jane! Morning, noon and night.

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 12:27 PM (X6akg)

11 Seems like under the federal employee's health plan, the PPO should have supplied Suzanne Barr with a cock for the back of her throat.

Posted by: Cicero at August 10, 2012 12:27 PM (QKKT0)

12 I would have cut a certain body part off with pruning shears if it had come anywhere near my mouth.

I guess that's better than safety-scissors.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 10, 2012 12:28 PM (8y9MW)

13 I approve of this post.

Posted by: Suzanne Barr at August 10, 2012 12:28 PM (3SvjA)

14 Ah, now that I read it, the remedy is sperm, not BJs. So I'm sure all you great husbands will gladly acquiesce when your pregnant wives approach your testicles with a syringe!

Posted by: Y-not at August 10, 2012 12:28 PM (5H6zj)

15 But only if you are not a spitter I presume.

Posted by: Vic at August 10, 2012 12:28 PM (YdQQY)

16 So this is why all my little boys are getting sex changes?

Posted by: Harry Reid, pederast at August 10, 2012 12:28 PM (3ZjAP)

17 It's better to give than to receive, gentlemen.

Isn't that what the researcher said?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 10, 2012 12:28 PM (8y9MW)

18 @14 LOL, I was just going to say there must've been a lot of pregnant lesbians in that office.

Posted by: Y-not at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (5H6zj)

You have to swallow to get the full benefit ladies. It will make you younger and grow diamonds.

Also your cupsize will increase 30%.

Posted by: eleven at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (fsLdt)

20 Suzanne Barr, you have a call on line 3.

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (cHZB7)

21 And what idiot thinks that when you're on the verge of throwing up, you want a dick in your mouth and sperm flying down your throat at 30 mph?

I swear.....you men will resort to anything.

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (X6akg)

22 so.... Janet's crew was just trying to find a - Cure for Cancer?

Posted by: Wipe Out! at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (r2PLg)

23 But now, one medical professional believes you can add oral sex to that list.

NEWS FLASH: Starring in 15 porn flicks doesn't make you a "medical professional."

Posted by: Cicero at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (QKKT0)

24 Ha! Honey Badger kicked off LSU football team. Was Heisman finalist last year. Whose dick is Brent Musberger going to suck all game long now that the Honey Badger is gone?

Posted by: Nukie at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (4yFKY)

25 Also your cupsize will increase 30%.

Posted by: eleven at August 10, 2012 04:29 PM (fsLdt)

Spit cup, maybe....

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (kXoT0)

26 Someone ask Suzanne Barr her opinion of this study.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 12:29 PM (UOM48)

27 I find this news hard to swallow.

Posted by: Skeptic at August 10, 2012 12:30 PM (TFkyK)

28 Sandra Fluke must be the healthiest woman on the planet.

Posted by: EC at August 10, 2012 12:30 PM (GQ8sn)

29 So I'm sure all you great husbands will gladly acquiesce when your pregnant wives approach your testicles with a syringe!>>

No but if they buy us some pron we'll put it in a cup for them.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at August 10, 2012 12:30 PM (tf9Ne)

Ah, now that I read it, the remedy is sperm, not BJs.

I believe you are quite mistaken.

Posted by: eleven at August 10, 2012 12:30 PM (fsLdt)

31 I guess that's better than safety-scissors.

Not really,
safety scissors won't cut it.

Posted by: Lorena Bobbitt at August 10, 2012 12:30 PM (DVJEd)

32 Hey, it works both ways.

I always felt much better after performing fellatio on my girlfriend.

Posted by: palin steele at August 10, 2012 12:30 PM (gCa4h)

33 21 And what idiot thinks that when you're on the verge of throwing up, you want a dick in your mouth and sperm flying down your throat at 30 mph?

I swear.....you men will resort to anything.

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 04:29 PM (X6akg

This x 100000000

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 12:31 PM (UOM48)

34 This is such bullshit on so many levels-- I can't even start. Look if you can do this in the morning to cure-- The Sickness--maybe you never really had it.

Posted by: Wipe Out! at August 10, 2012 12:31 PM (r2PLg)

35 27 I find this news hard to swallow.

Posted by: Skeptic at August 10, 2012 04:30 PM (TFkyK)

Thread winner!

Posted by: Romeo13 at August 10, 2012 12:31 PM (lZBBB)

36 I think us morons need to be done some of this science stuff. We could get paid to inquire about things like this. We could do the double blind study to ensure the accuracy of this test.

Posted by: Penfold at August 10, 2012 12:31 PM (1PeEC)

37
99% of thirty seven million sperm agree.

Posted by: Wodeshed at August 10, 2012 12:31 PM (UuLBC)

38 I guess I'll have to fess up, Chanel number 5?

African sperm aged in vats of grain alcohol.

Posted by: Zombie Coco Chanel at August 10, 2012 12:31 PM (3ZjAP)

39 But, but, but.... It's SCIENCE!

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 10, 2012 12:31 PM (8y9MW)

40 Gawd I'm gagging just reading this.

Posted by: Wipe Out! at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (r2PLg)

41 34 21
And what idiot thinks that when you're on the verge of throwing up, you
want a dick in your mouth and sperm flying down your throat at 30 mph?

I swear.....you men will resort to anything.

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 04:29 PM (X6akg

This x 100000000

You can't argue science, ladies!

Posted by: EC at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (GQ8sn)

42 I can guarantee you that when I throw up, it is not a ladylike or demure process. If you want to entrust your manhood to my mouth during the process, it would be a Bobbit-palooza.

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (kXoT0)

43 Bill Clinton - White House Morning Sickness Investigator

Posted by: The Robot Devil at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (GkwjL)

44

Yes. Yes we will. Even vacuuming. Or a footrub.

Posted by: buzzion at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (GULKT)

45 I swear.....you men will resort to anything.

Just trying to be compassionate and stuff. Sheeesh.

Posted by: Cicero at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (QKKT0)

46 this makes no sense

Posted by: Soothsayer, Saying Today What Everyone Else Will Say Tomorrow, Since 2005 at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (G/zuv)

47
I can hot yoga like a boss.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (UuLBC)

48 I also find it hard to stomach.

Posted by: Skeptic at August 10, 2012 12:32 PM (TFkyK)

49 You know, Hillary Clinton really does look like shit lately.

Posted by: Cicero at August 10, 2012 12:33 PM (QKKT0)

50 My cup runneth over...

Posted by: Billie Clinton at August 10, 2012 12:33 PM (GkwjL)

51 And what idiot thinks that when you're on the verge of throwing up, you want a dick in your mouth and sperm flying down your throat at 30 mph?

The same idiot who has to listen while you tell him about "your day".

Posted by: AmishDude at August 10, 2012 12:33 PM (xSegX)

52 If this was a study from a federal grant, this guy is a god to me.

Hey Mitt, I just found some federal spending we can cut with no ill-effects on society.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 10, 2012 12:33 PM (ZKzrr)

53 Do I send this to my pregnant with (mild) morning sickness wife? Yes, yes I do. /crosses fingers

Posted by: Memories at August 10, 2012 12:33 PM (1nBEk)

54 You can't argue science, ladies!

Posted by: EC at August 10, 2012 04:32 PM (GQ8sn)

Scheyeah, right.....'science'.

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 12:33 PM (X6akg)

55 The Science, is settled....

Posted by: UN IPPC (International Poontang Proficiency Council) at August 10, 2012 12:33 PM (lZBBB)

56 I'm the healthiest member of Congress.

Posted by: Barney Frank at August 10, 2012 12:33 PM (cHZB7)

57 And then you get huge boobies to nurse the baby with, and husband is acting all horn-doggy.

Men.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 12:34 PM (UOM48)

58 I swear.....you men will resort to anything.

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 04:29 PM (X6akg)

Guilty with an explanation your honor.

Posted by: Da guy on Judge Judy at August 10, 2012 12:34 PM (3ZjAP)

59 "...but I heard from an investor at Bain..:"

Well, just as I was about to poo-poo that whole study.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at August 10, 2012 12:34 PM (Qxdfp)

60 Surf's up in my pants, bitchez!!!

Posted by: Kelly Slater at August 10, 2012 12:34 PM (6DDE+)

61 The same idiot who has to listen while you tell him about "your day".

EVERYONE TAKE COVER!!!!!!!

Posted by: EC at August 10, 2012 12:34 PM (GQ8sn)

62 LUDDITES!!!

Science is settled!

Printing this out for my wife.

Posted by: HoboJerky, profit of DOOM! at August 10, 2012 12:34 PM (xAtAj)

63 Do I send this to my pregnant with (mild) morning sickness wife? Yes, yes I do. /crosses fingers

Posted by: Memories at August 10, 2012 04:33 PM (1nBEk)

As Dirty Harry would say, "Do you feel lucky, punk?"

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:34 PM (kXoT0)

See? I really do care ladies.

Posted by: Mel Gibson at August 10, 2012 12:35 PM (mV8sg)

65 I blinded her with science, and a shot in the eye.

Posted by: toby928© at August 10, 2012 12:35 PM (evdj2)

66 Scheyeah, right.....'science'.

More rigorous than my stuff.

Posted by: Michael Mann at August 10, 2012 12:35 PM (xSegX)

67 Somehow I think this dovetails with-- the study that found-- Men get throat cancer from oral sex. Same guy!

Posted by: Wipe Out! at August 10, 2012 12:35 PM (r2PLg)

manchowder. its whats for breakfast.

Posted by: cfh13 at August 10, 2012 12:35 PM (uURnG)

You know, Hillary Clinton really does look like shit lately.

You mean she's decayed even further?

Posted by: eleven at August 10, 2012 12:35 PM (fsLdt)

70 And then you get huge boobies to nurse the baby with, and husband is acting all horn-doggy.

When my wife was pregnant with our son, her boobs got so big they would get there a half hour before she did.

Posted by: EC at August 10, 2012 12:35 PM (GQ8sn)

71 And then you get huge boobies to nurse the baby with, and husband is acting all horn-doggy.

Men.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 04:34 PM (UOM4

Yes, and the old birth canal is really up for excursion boating at that point.

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:36 PM (kXoT0)

72 I'm confused.

So Sandy Fluke gets paid a call by her congressman every morning, for her daily under-Obamacare constitutional blowjob? Or is it her monsignor?

Posted by: TheLittlShiningMan at August 10, 2012 12:36 PM (PH+2B)

73 57 And then you get huge boobies to nurse the baby with, and husband is acting all horn-doggy. ==== And the Mayor of New York City wants to monitor the process.

Posted by: Y-not at August 10, 2012 12:36 PM (5H6zj)

74 I was actually kneeling in front of the toilet one evening ("Welcome home, honey!") and my husband walked into the bathroom with the phone.

"It's your mom. Can you take the call?"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 12:36 PM (UOM48)

75 21 And what idiot thinks that when you're on the verge of throwing up, you want a dick in your mouth and sperm flying down your throat at 30 mph?

*raises hand*

Posted by: Col. Angus at August 10, 2012 12:36 PM (Kkt/i)

76 One time in college, i was with a girl who had maybe drank a bit too much but insisted on sex. Never one to deny a lady her pleasures, we got busy. As she is starting to blow me, she threw up all over me and then passed out. Sorta killed the moment. I had to take a shower, do laundry and sleep on a couch for the night.

Posted by: Penfold at August 10, 2012 12:36 PM (1PeEC)

As Dirty Harry would say, "Do you feel lucky, punk?"

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 04:34 PM (kXoT0)

No, I think I said, "Do you want to GET Lucky, punk?"

Posted by: Harry Reid at August 10, 2012 12:36 PM (lZBBB)

So, when we used to sing ".... a spoonful of semen...." in our Mary Poppins voices, we were on to something?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at August 10, 2012 12:37 PM (cQpP1)

79 But, but, but.... It's SCIENCE!

Did any of you click through the linked article to the abstract?

"Gallup says in his findings that the womanÂ’s body will initially reject the fatherÂ’s semen as an infection and react to it by vomiting."

According to these findings, shouldn't women be puking every time they get spooge in them.

And the only study cited is about preeclampsia, which is kinda different than morning sickness.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 10, 2012 12:37 PM (ZKzrr)

80 26 Someone ask Suzanne Barr her opinion of this study. Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 04:29 PM (UOM4 Almost......almost. I put up a spew guard for the monitor yesterday. Hard to type, but I look over it.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC at August 10, 2012 12:37 PM (mFX15)

81
The same idiot who has to listen while you tell him about "your day".

Posted by: AmishDude at August 10, 2012 04:33 PM (xSegX)

You're not married or dating anyone, right?

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 12:37 PM (X6akg)

82 I little projectile vomiting resulting in vomit violently forced up the male urethra will cure this myth.

Posted by: Redd at August 10, 2012 12:37 PM (78TcD)

83 So is that conclusion a result of a Gordon Gallup pole?

Posted by: ChampionCapua at August 10, 2012 12:37 PM (R3Xbs)

84 Yes, and the old birth canal is really up for excursion boating at that point.

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 04:36 PM (kXoT0

I "lucked out" with an emergency c-section.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 12:37 PM (UOM48)

85 My day will be complete when our Dread Lord Jeff opines.

Posted by: toby928© at August 10, 2012 12:38 PM (evdj2)

86 I = A

Posted by: Redd at August 10, 2012 12:38 PM (78TcD)

87 So, uh that Natural Harvest cookbook is going to see an increase in sales now?

Posted by: buzzion at August 10, 2012 12:38 PM (GULKT)

88 I "lucked out" with an emergency c-section.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 04:37 PM (UOM4

I had a 50/50 shot. A C-section does not make one particularly frisky either...

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:39 PM (kXoT0)

89 All I've learned is that "science reporting" is neither.

Which I already knew.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 10, 2012 12:39 PM (ZKzrr)

90 I was actually kneeling in front of the toilet one evening ("Welcome home, honey!") and my husband walked into the bathroom with the phone.

"It's your mom. Can you take the call?"

Oh, please. If you were expecting "important information" from your mom, you'd kill your husband for not asking.

Posted by: Michael Mann at August 10, 2012 12:39 PM (xSegX)

91 I swear.....you men will resort to anything.
Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 04:29 PM (X6akg
This x 100000000
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 04:31 PM (UOM4

It is this sort of extremist socon rhetoric that get's us branded as anti-science and anti-sex. You don't want to scare the moderates do you?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 10, 2012 12:40 PM (0q2P7)

92 And what idiot thinks that when you're on the verge of throwing up, you want a dick in your mouth and sperm flying down your throat at 30 mph? ---------------------------- I'm turned on by your reference to speed limits.

Posted by: Nukie at August 10, 2012 12:40 PM (d2QQ4)

93 Does this mean sperm banks are going to turn into.....

....juice bars?

Posted by: EC at August 10, 2012 12:40 PM (GQ8sn)

94 This is fantastic scholarly work by Dr. John Holmes and Dr. Peter North.

PhDs from some university in the San Fernando Valley

Posted by: The Q at August 10, 2012 12:40 PM (B/yDO)

95 You're not married or dating anyone, right?

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 04:37 PM (X6akg)

When you know how the tricks are done, you're not really impressed with the magic show.

Posted by: AmishDude at August 10, 2012 12:40 PM (xSegX)

96 *looks nervously around for EoJ*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 12:41 PM (UOM48)

97 when you're on the verge of throwing up,

He didn't say anything about verge. Maybe the night before as a preventative. Or on the curtains as a distraction.

Posted by: DaveA at August 10, 2012 12:41 PM (DVJEd)

98 So, Glen Reynolds at Insty posts some racy shit. He posted a link to a blog written by a woman, that claimed oral sex, got to swallow, gave women better complexions and made them less depressed. I am not making this up.

How often did a woman have to "take the medicine"?

Three times a week?

Holy shit! I'd marry THAT girl! Clear complexion, and not depressed? I'll suffer through the humiliation to maker her happy.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at August 10, 2012 12:41 PM (3ZjAP)

99 Gawd I'm gagging just reading this.

Posted by: Wipe Out! at August 10, 2012 04:32 PM (r2PLg)

---------------------------------------------

So, how long have you been married?

Posted by: Soona at August 10, 2012 12:41 PM (E/oS/)

100

This makes a lot of sense. Pregnancy (shudder...) is like a hangover. The horrible, painful aftermath of an otherwise good time. And like a hangover, is best cured by a some "hair of the dog that bit you."

Quite sensible.

Posted by: Reactionary at August 10, 2012 12:42 PM (jfeoD)

101 Makes sense to me. Isn't this why all women swallow?

Posted by: Bane at August 10, 2012 12:42 PM (Wks0m)

102 Breakfast anyone?

Posted by: Sum Yung Guy at August 10, 2012 12:42 PM (Kkt/i)

103 When you know how the tricks are done, you're not really impressed with the magic show.

Posted by: AmishDude at August 10, 2012 04:40 PM (xSegX)

Uh huh......

Posted by: Tami at August 10, 2012 12:42 PM (X6akg)

104 I was actually kneeling in front of the toilet one evening ("Welcome home, honey!") and my husband walked into the bathroom with the phone.

"It's your mom. Can you take the call?"

My wife used the "we're pregnant" line once. I remarked that it will become apparent very soon that I am not pregnant and you are.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 10, 2012 12:43 PM (0q2P7)

105 A mere taste of things to come.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at August 10, 2012 12:43 PM (ogCxr)

106 50 My cup runneth over... Posted by: Billie Clinton at August 10, 2012 04:33 PM

This might have saved you some trouble, Bill.

Posted by: irright at August 10, 2012 12:43 PM (5UU+7)

107 I note that the "study" is by a man. No women quoted on how great it made her feel.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 10, 2012 12:43 PM (5mkSo)

108 Sounds like some bullshit "study" my husband would make up.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 12:43 PM (UOM48)

109 oops

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSR8a24xxuw

Posted by: irright at August 10, 2012 12:43 PM (5UU+7)

110 I haven't read this thread but:
The science is settled!

Posted by: real joe at August 10, 2012 12:45 PM (saJul)

111 109 I note that the "study" is by a man. No women quoted on how great it made her feel. Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 10, 2012 04:43 PM (5mkSo) Do you really expect that a women would have answered honestly?

Posted by: The Robot Devil at August 10, 2012 12:45 PM (GkwjL)

112 103 Makes sense to me. Isn't this why all women swallow?

Well, my wife would only swallow for Harry Reid and Richard Trumka.

I just liked to watch.

Posted by: Joe Soptic at August 10, 2012 12:45 PM (3ZjAP)

113 80 But, but, but.... It's SCIENCE!

Did any of you click through the linked article to the abstract?

Bah! Details. It's religion now.

Posted by: Col. Angus at August 10, 2012 12:45 PM (Kkt/i)

114 There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that I recently penned a letter of sympathy to Jerry Sandusky. I absolutely did not write the words: "Jerry, I was deeply saddened when I recently learned of your conviction. It is truly a sad statement on our society when a man is thought of as a criminal for showing the young love and affection. Why, even NAMBLA is looked at as a disgusting organization, instead of being recognized for the nurturing and caring relationships they provide young boys". Nope, not me.

Posted by: Harry Reid at August 10, 2012 12:46 PM (/YJYi)

115 77 One time in college, i was with a girl who had maybe drank a bit too much but insisted on sex. Never one to deny a lady her pleasures, we got busy. As she is starting to blow me, she threw up all over me and then passed out. Sorta killed the moment. I had to take a shower, do laundry and sleep on a couch for the night. Posted by: Penfold at August 10, 2012 04:36 PM (1PeEC) Ahhh, ....tossed Salad Days, indeed.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC at August 10, 2012 12:46 PM (mFX15)

116 The release of chakras being good for pregnant women is simply the inconvenient truth

Posted by: The Q at August 10, 2012 12:46 PM (B/yDO)

117
I've never called in sick to the bar at the Sheraton, IYKWIM.

Posted by: Rielle Hunter at August 10, 2012 12:46 PM (UuLBC)

118

And what idiot thinks that when you're on the verge of throwing up, you want a dick in your mouth and sperm flying down your throat at 30 mph?

We're here for you, Baby.

Posted by: The Morons at August 10, 2012 12:46 PM (3SvjA)

119 News Flash: Starring in 15 porn films does not make one a "medical professional". Yes but they did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.

Posted by: Hanoverfist at August 10, 2012 12:46 PM (HiKk0)

120 Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 10, 2012 04:40 PM LMAO!

Posted by: Y-not at August 10, 2012 12:46 PM (5H6zj)

121 In my experience most woman only need reciprocation for encouragement, but I guess telling them there are health benefits can't hurt.

Posted by: Adam at August 10, 2012 12:47 PM (/YJYi)

122 It makes your breasts grow, and clears up acne too.

Posted by: Teenage boy at August 10, 2012 12:47 PM (r4wIV)

123 >>>Sounds like some bullshit "study" my husband would make up.

There is a certain amount of sense to it scientifically; All the male protein markers that would be present in a fetus, that are foreign to the female body, and therefore subject to adverse response, are of course present in the male genetic mapping in the sperm.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 10, 2012 12:47 PM (0q2P7)

124 @111

LOL. My wife never needed that, she was a swallower. Think that gave her cancer?

hmmm?

Posted by: Joe Soptic at August 10, 2012 12:48 PM (3ZjAP)

125 And how is this information useful to me?

Posted by: Horney NORK at August 10, 2012 12:48 PM (OlN4e)

126 There once was a Doctor named Gallup. Who had good news from Maine to Puyallup. True to his name A pole was to blame For calming the nauseous fallop.

Posted by: ChampionCapua at August 10, 2012 12:48 PM (R3Xbs)

127
Drop 'em, Science Boy.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at August 10, 2012 12:48 PM (UuLBC)

128 In my experience most woman only need reciprocation for encouragement, but I guess telling them there are health benefits can't hurt.

Posted by: Adam at August 10, 2012 04:47 PM (/YJYi)

Yes, telling us that BJs are scientific health, that is romantic. That will get you there..

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:49 PM (kXoT0)

129 The science is settled!

Posted by: Libra at August 10, 2012 12:49 PM (kd8U8)

130 >>I swear.....you men will resort to anything.

In the immortal words of Gus, "If a man ain't willing to cheat for a poke, he don't want a poke bad enough."

Posted by: angler at August 10, 2012 12:49 PM (SwjAj)

131 Sounds like some bullshit "study" my husband would make up.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 10, 2012 04:43 PM (UOM4

---------------------------------------------------

He'd be only trying to help you out.

Posted by: Soona at August 10, 2012 12:49 PM (E/oS/)

132 >>>Sandra Fluke must be the healthiest woman on the planet. She's a BMOC -- Best Mouth on Campus.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at August 10, 2012 12:49 PM (ogCxr)

133 So gay guys should all have clear skin and huge tits, right?

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:49 PM (kXoT0)

134 Ahhh, ....tossed Salad Days, indeed. Posted by: 98ZJUSMC at August 10, 2012 04:46 PM (mFX15) Sir, that phrase does not mean what you think it does.

Posted by: The Robot Devil at August 10, 2012 12:50 PM (GkwjL)

135
A chakra per day. That's all I ask.

Posted by: Al Gore at August 10, 2012 12:50 PM (UuLBC)

136 And what idiot thinks that when you're on the verge of throwing up, you want a dick in your mouth and sperm flying down your throat at 30 mph?

Um....I was doing to say the same thing, but a bit more delicately. Having had "morning sickness" (hahahaha, what a JOKE name) 24/7 for the first three months of my first pregancy, and in the hospital twice because of dehydration and malnutrition, I could tell you what I would have said to anyone suggesting this as a remedy. But even this blog won't take language that bad.

Posted by: rockmom at August 10, 2012 12:51 PM (aBlZ1)

137 There is a certain amount of sense to it scientifically; All the male protein markers that would be present in a fetus, that are foreign to the female body, and therefore subject to adverse response, are of course present in the male genetic mapping in the sperm.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Regular With Full Stomping Power! at August 10, 2012 04:47 PM (0q2P7)

----------------------------------------------

Damn. I'm writing this down and puting it in my wallet. The ladies can't resist when I tell them this.

Posted by: Soona at August 10, 2012 12:52 PM (E/oS/)

138 On seeing a girl with a pierced tongue, I thought, "Just like Microsoft. Can't do the job right, so throw hardware at it."

Posted by: Dr. Varno at August 10, 2012 12:53 PM (ogCxr)

139 This is disgusting. My sole mate and I are going to send this to President Obama and Secratary Hillary Clinton for action....

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, Vt at August 10, 2012 12:54 PM (48wze)

140 @116

Well, Harry, thanks. I haven't gotten you letter yet, but I want you to know I have asked by wife to put you on the board of my foundation, the Second Mile. he he

She is also going to let you interview the boys applying for scholarships.

Be tough on them, it will make them strong. Also, private showers, trust me on this.

Posted by: Coach Sandusky at August 10, 2012 12:54 PM (3ZjAP)

141 104 Breakfast anyone? Posted by: Sum Yung Guy at August 10, 2012 04:42 PM (Kkt/i) My place....anytime!

Posted by: Harry Reid at August 10, 2012 12:55 PM (mFX15)

142

There is a certain amount of sense to it scientifically; All the male protein markers that would be present in a fetus, that are foreign to the female body, and therefore subject to adverse response, are of course present in the male genetic mapping in the sperm.

Oh absolutely. Seems pretty obvious to me. Plus we have graphs.

Posted by: eleven at August 10, 2012 12:56 PM (fsLdt)

143 77 One time in college, i was with a girl who had maybe drank a bit too much but insisted on sex. Never one to deny a lady her pleasures, we got busy. As she is starting to blow me, she threw up all over me and then passed out. Sorta killed the moment. I had to take a shower, do laundry and sleep on a couch for the night.
Posted by: Penfold at August 10, 2012 04:36 PM (1PeEC)

BASTARD. You promised NEVER to tell that story.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at August 10, 2012 12:57 PM (3ZjAP)

144 Damn. I'm writing this down and puting it in my wallet. The ladies can't resist when I tell them this. Ask them if they're on Atkins and tell them you know a great source of protein.* *Not responsible for any macings, beatings, stompyings or any other mayhem that may incur should you use this approach.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - come for the light show stay for the raging inferno at August 10, 2012 12:57 PM (VtjlW)

145 And the only study cited is about preeclampsia, which is kinda different than morning sickness.

DENIER!!!!

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at August 10, 2012 12:58 PM (8y9MW)

146 It is not even the ONT and AoSHQ morons have gone right to the gutter.

What a great country!

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at August 10, 2012 12:59 PM (3ZjAP)

147 Hey SANDRA, i abided by the agreement and did not mention you by name, and plus, look, I even saved you some money because you did not need to use birth control because YOU PASSED OUT ON ME!!

Posted by: Penfold at August 10, 2012 12:59 PM (1PeEC)

148 *Not responsible for any macings, beatings, stompyings or any other mayhem that may incur should you use this approach.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - come for the light show stay for the raging inferno at August 10, 2012 04:57 PM (VtjlW)

Won't deter the 'Rons, I threatened a Bobbit and they were unfazed. I am off to write my grant application for a study titled,

"Does the mere mention that a BJ might be in their future reduce any functioning male's IQ to 10?"

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 12:59 PM (kXoT0)

149 148 It is not even the ONT and AoSHQ morons have gone right to the gutter.

What a great country!

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at August 10, 2012 04:59 PM (3ZjAP)

Gone to? When have we ever left?

Posted by: buzzion at August 10, 2012 12:59 PM (GULKT)

150 Won't deter the 'Rons, I threatened a Bobbit and they were unfazed. I am off to write my grant application for a study titled,
"Does the mere mention that a BJ might be in their future reduce any functioning male's IQ to 10?"

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 04:59 PM (kXoT0)

Of course not! It drops down to 20. 15 at the most.

Posted by: buzzion at August 10, 2012 01:01 PM (GULKT)

151 Is this thread supposed to be a palate cleanser for the Spike Lee thread? Cuz it doesn't taste much better.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at August 10, 2012 01:02 PM (DmsKd)

152 "Put your big Government in my mouth sex part."

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at August 10, 2012 01:02 PM (C8XlI)

153 @149

So now you want me to forgive you for this shit? Get over here before 10PM. I can still swallow then, after 10? Not so sure.

Just saying, I haven't been with a man in a long time, call me and bring a rubber, I can't afford them.

Posted by: St. Sandra Fluke at August 10, 2012 01:03 PM (3ZjAP)

154 The science is settled. Don't be a Man Made Throat Warming denier.

Posted by: Devil Worm at August 10, 2012 01:03 PM (IVRIf)

155

"Does the mere mention that a BJ might be in their future reduce any functioning male's IQ to 10?"

No. That is the magic phrase that causes our minds to focus with laser-like clarity.

Posted by: fluffy at August 10, 2012 01:03 PM (3SvjA)

156 150 I am off to write my grant application for a study titled, "Does the mere mention that a BJ might be in their future reduce any functioning male's IQ to 10?"

Um. Thats, setled to.

Posted by: Col. Angus at August 10, 2012 01:04 PM (Kkt/i)

157 Fellatio: It's not just about sex. Because science determined it has positive healing attributes.

Try that one on your lab partner.

Posted by: Exile at August 10, 2012 01:04 PM (T4rTl)

158 Gone to? When have we ever left?

Posted by: buzzion at August 10, 2012 04:59 PM (GULKT)

OK, OK, don't bring up facts.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at August 10, 2012 01:04 PM (3ZjAP)

159 Ladies, I hear doing anal makes you lose weight, and gets you free shoes.

Posted by: Dr Spank at August 10, 2012 01:04 PM (bb5Xq)

160 161 Ladies, I hear doing anal makes you lose weight, and gets you free shoes.

Posted by: Dr Spank at August 10, 2012 05:04 PM (bb5Xq)

You read my Doctoral? Thank god someone did.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at August 10, 2012 01:05 PM (3ZjAP)

161 Of course not! It drops down to 20. 15 at the most.

Posted by: buzzion at August 10, 2012 05:01 PM (GULKT)

No, I stick by by stick figure of 10. It also completely eliminates their ability to make a fist, drive, or hell, even drink. I will study those secondary problems after I spend the first $10,000,000 testing my theory in Bali with study subjects: Gabriel, Joe, and Clive.

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 01:06 PM (kXoT0)

162 I am sure a lot of guys would sign up to help with that particular scientific test. But where would you find the girls? Excuse me miss, you say you are pregnant on this form, would you care to help us with a study for $500? What would it involve? Well uh...

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 10, 2012 01:08 PM (r4wIV)

163 136 Ahhh, ....tossed Salad Days, indeed. Posted by: 98ZJUSMC at August 10, 2012 04:46 PM (mFX15) Sir, that phrase does not mean what you think it does. Posted by: The Robot Devil at August 10, 2012 04:50 PM (GkwjL) Gotta separate the tossed (as in cookies), from the rest. As far as Salad Tosser, you're right. Veered too much, teh ghey.

Posted by: Harry Reid at August 10, 2012 01:08 PM (mFX15)

164 I am off to write my grant application for a study titled, "Does the mere mention that a BJ might be in their future reduce any functioning male's IQ to 10?"

Um. Thats, setled to.

Posted by: Col. Angus at August 10, 2012 05:04 PM (Kkt/i)

Well, duh, it is Federal grant, just because it is settled science does not mean that it does not need more money spent on it. Think global warming, people!

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 01:08 PM (kXoT0)

165 I believe this study and Ogabe, Reggie, and I have never had morning sickness. Sure swallowing sperm is the reason. In fact, the younger the better I always say.

Posted by: Haary Reid at August 10, 2012 01:09 PM (YYyqq)

166 Some of you ladies are just RACIST against sperm!

Posted by: Havedash at August 10, 2012 01:11 PM (ToMJU)

167 Next Obama ad:

Romney's war on women continues. Now he claims that he'll only pay his taxes if he gets a blow job from a super model on April 15 every year.

Posted by: Marmo at August 10, 2012 01:11 PM (QW+AD)

168 Some of you ladies are just RACIST against sperm!

Posted by: Havedash at August 10, 2012 05:11 PM (ToMJU)

We always have been. Only the fastest swimmer wins.

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 01:12 PM (kXoT0)

169 We always have been. Only the fastest swimmer wins.

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 05:12 PM (kXoT0)

I guess that's why motorboating helps, huh?

Posted by: Havedash at August 10, 2012 01:13 PM (ToMJU)

170 Schwing! May I be of service laydeees?

Posted by: Formner Congressman Anthony Weiner at August 10, 2012 01:14 PM (7YnaR)

171 Schwing! May I be of service laydeees?

Posted by: Formner Congressman Anthony Weiner at August 10, 2012 05:14 PM (7YnaR)

Not even with Moochillini's mouth!

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 01:14 PM (kXoT0)

172 "Now he claims that he'll only pay his taxes if he gets a blow job from a super model on April 15 every year."
I have a theory that less attractive more overweight women probably are better at this than supermodels, just because they're likely to try harder and care about someone other than themselves.
"Watch the hair! Hurry up! Do you have a toilet nearby so I can throw up afterward, I'm already over my daily protein limit!"

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 10, 2012 01:15 PM (r4wIV)

173

Win Science Troll is Win Trolling.

Posted by: CAC at August 10, 2012 01:16 PM (MEWY8)

174 "Now he claims that he'll only pay his taxes if he gets a blow job from a super model on April 15 every year."

I am quite sure that men would wait in line for days to pay their taxes in person if a super model giving them a BJ was on offer.

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 01:16 PM (kXoT0)

175 So we have "Truthers", "Birthers", and now "Spermers"? (for all ladies who deny that undeniable truth of this study)

Posted by: Havedash at August 10, 2012 01:17 PM (ToMJU)

176 Wow, looking at the response, I can only say this might have been more well-received on the ONT. Maybe. Come on, ladies, we make fun of guys *every day*. Can't we have a turnaround post once in a while?

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at August 10, 2012 01:18 PM (bxiXv)

177 >>> well-received heheh

Posted by: Dr. Varno at August 10, 2012 01:22 PM (DmsKd)

178 I have a theory that less attractive more overweight women probably are better at this than supermodels, just because they're likely to try harder and care about someone other than themselves. Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 10, 2012 05:15 PM (r4wIV) You write the grant proposal, I'll get the craigslist ad ready.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at August 10, 2012 01:23 PM (bxiXv)

179 The subject of the post is health effects of head, billy bob, and you blame us for going to the gutter.

Posted by: Adam at August 10, 2012 01:24 PM (/YJYi)

180 I need a grant that shows that daily injections of my DNA into Kate Upton will get our economy going again. It's for SCIENCE!

Posted by: Minuteman at August 10, 2012 01:30 PM (acEq7)

181 The Science! is settled!

Posted by: Sudden Believer In Science! at August 10, 2012 01:55 PM (LTxrK)

182 No, I stick by by stick figure of 10. It also completely eliminates their ability to make a fist, drive, or hell, even drink.

Wanna go for a ride and test this theory?

Posted by: DaveA at August 10, 2012 02:05 PM (DVJEd)

183 I'd like to vote For the Friday Aft. pervert thread as a regular feature.

Posted by: DaveA at August 10, 2012 02:05 PM (DVJEd)

184 This will make history as the most forwarded scientific study of all time (it already made the rounds at my office)...

Posted by: Tony253 at August 10, 2012 02:24 PM (3yMFT)

185 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at August 10, 2012 02:33 PM (6o4Fb)

186 They always come back ...

Posted by: Capistrano at August 10, 2012 02:39 PM (JmfiE)

187 The comments have slowed to a dribble.

Posted by: toby928© at August 10, 2012 02:40 PM (QupBk)

188 "But now, one medical professional believes you can add oral sex to that list."

OK. Which one of you morons is "Gordon Gallup"? Heck, the name sounds like a sock, too. Quick, Pixy! To the Archive Hashtag Analysis Algorithm!

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at August 10, 2012 02:48 PM (eHIJJ)

189

but I heard from an investor at Bain that it applies to all women in all circumstances.

Bill Clinton invests at Bain?

Posted by: malclave at August 10, 2012 03:01 PM (OCRaO)

190 No, I stick by by stick figure of 10. It also completely eliminates their ability to make a fist, drive, or hell, even drink. I will study those secondary problems after I spend the first $10,000,000 testing my theory in Bali with study subjects: Gabriel, Joe, and Clive.

Posted by: Will Be Taking Applications and Assimilating The Love-slaves at August 10, 2012 05:06 PM (kXoT0)

I'm living proof that at least one part of your thesis is wrong. I've lost track of the number of BJ's I've received WHILE driving...

Posted by: That's MISTER late to the party at August 10, 2012 07:10 PM (gC/L+)

191 189 They always come back ...

Are you offering seconds??

Posted by: Andy 'The Gargler' Sullivan at August 11, 2012 06:42 PM (7YnaR)

192 Another transparent male lie.

Posted by: Peacerose at August 12, 2012 04:31 PM (uIJDT)

Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.

157kb generated in CPU 0.0497, elapsed 0.2974 seconds.
64 queries taking 0.2605 seconds, 320 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.